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  1. Under My Skin – Supernatural Recap

    April 18, 2014 by HeadOverFeels

    Supernatural Dean Shapeshifter

    Posted by Sarah and Dawn

    Welcome to our newest guest post series! Head Over Feels are finally filling our SuperWhoLock quota with “Salt vs. Sass: Dawn & Sarah take on Sam and Dean,” a Supernatural recap-a-thon! We’ll learn all about the family business through the eyes of veteran fan Dawn and n00b Sarah. They’ll be posting weekly, so now is the perfect moment to queue up your rewatch or pop your SPN cherry. Want to speak fluent SPN fangirl? Check out this handy Glossary of Terms.

    Take it away, ladies! –S

    Dawn Ferchak is a long-term Dean girl who occasionally has trouble resisting the King of Hell.

    Sarah Bisman is an SPN newbie and professional crafter of one-line bios.

    Sarah: This episode didn’t scare me so much as SQUICK ME THE EFF OUT. In honor of Passover, I blame canned gefilte fish for my total abhorrence of gelatinous substances. Also, this week hammered home how badly the Winchesters need a therapist. And some hugs.

    Dawn: This week, I learned that even I have a gross-out threshold, that not even Jensen Ackles’ handsome face would get me to open the door when shit clearly AIN’T RIGHT, and goddamn, am I glad I’m a brunette. Also sewers are bad places. Just in case you were unaware.

    Supernatural puddles

    Season 1, Episode 6: Skin
    Written by John Shiban

    Smash super-recap complete with mom on the ceiling. But no flames! Jess, however, gets the flames treatment, which means we need a new flames gif just for Jessica. Let’s make it nice and romantic and stuff, since they were so in love and also we are cruel:

    Roses burning

    Dean’s hunting dad. Check. Sammy is looking for Jess’ killer. Check.

    We’re in St. Louis, Missouri, (Chyron Check!), in a dark room, in which an unseen person with a hunting knife is torturing a whimpering blonde. Blondes do not fare well on this show. Search lights and moonlight reveal lots of blood, kind of everywhere, including a bloody handprint on the wall. Something Has Happened. Check.

    Someone/thing walks by in the darkness. Like a shadow, i.e. SPN Life Lesson 8.

    The SWAT team approaches the whimpering blond, and we see bloody ropes and handcuffs. Ew, and also creepy. She manages to convey that her captor is in the other room, and the authorities go off in pursuit. They catch the guy, who is about to leap from a window with knife in hand, and bellow the usual “Hands where I can see ‘em” TV-cop stuff. The guy turns toward the camera, and holy shitballs, it’s Dean, with some scary dead (sexy) eyes and a bruised/bloody cheek. Sarah says WTF psycho; Dawn says have that one washed and brought to my tent. You decide:

    Shapeshifter Dean

    Then we jump back in time to a week earlier.

    The boys and Baby are at a gas station, where Dean ribs Sam for still keeping in touch with his college friends. Dean’s kind of amazed that Sam hasn’t cut everyone out of his life; Sam is kind of amazed that Dean is still playing the cool-lone-wolf card. Also Sam is checking his phone and email with a pointy plastic stylus, because it’s 2005 and there won’t be iphones for another two years. Ah, memories. Anyway, turns out Sam has an email from his old pal, Rebecca Warren, whose brother Zach has been arrested for murder. Of course, she thinks he didn’t do it. Of course, the cops think he did. Sam wants to head to St. Louis to check it out; Dean disagrees because it doesn’t sound like their kind of problem and also it’s 400 miles in the wrong direction. Oh, Dean. Time for SPN Life Lesson #20: It’s always a Winchester kind of problem.

    The brothers drive off toward St. Louis. Dean isn’t pleased, until Rebecca offers him a beer. Sam, the buzzkill, refuses for both of them. Let’s call that SPN Life Lesson #21: Season 1 Sam will not have fun and you can’t make him.

    Emma Roberts Tongue

    Rebecca tells the tale of how her baby brother found his girlfriend beaten up, but was arrested when he called 911. He’s on a video from the security tape, which shows Zach coming home right before his girlfriend was murdered…but he’d have to have been in two places at once because he was with Rebecca drinking a “few” beers until after midnight. One person in two places at once? C’mon, Dean, that’s totally Life Lesson #20! Maybe you should check out the crime scene, just in case.

    Rebecca, who has no idea how much disregard for real-world rules her old college pal actually has, suggests that perhaps this is not the best idea. And this brings us to our Alias of the Week, which is that Dean Winchester just happens to be an off-duty police detective from Bisbee, Arizona (which, for those of you who might care, is mostly a wee artist colony). Is it technically an alias if he’s using his real name? Sure it is, especially when he just straight out calls himself “an officer of the law” as they walk under the yellow tape and into the blood-spattered room. Seriously, there is blood everywhere. Everywhere. The apartment is decorated in lots of white, so it really stands out. Sam helpfully notes that if Zach didn’t do this, “it means someone else did.”

    Sarah: REALLY, Sam? We totally thought it just happened this way.
    Dawn: It’s that kind of logic that must have dazzled the Stanford acceptance committee. “Well, if you don’t accept me, it means you’d have to accept someone else.”

    Rebecca is awfully calm for someone standing in a room full of all that’s left of her brother’s girlfriend, and she notes that someone broke in and stole some of Zach’s clothes about a week earlier. She also mentions that the neighbor’s formerly sweet dog has been fully psycho since the murder. Dean still isn’t buying it — maybe he’s still pissed about no beer — but Sam is convinced, and thinks Dean will be if they review the security tape. The security tape that Rebecca has conveniently stolen from Zach’s lawyer’s desk. Sarah thinks this makes her about 10x more interesting; Dawn thinks this makes her an awfully convenient and lazy move on the writers’ part.

    Time to check in on Zach! He’s stalking a couple coming out of an apartment building. Of course, we know it’s not Zach because the real Zach is in jail. So, DoppleZacher watches from the shadows. He seems pleased, and his eyes glow yellow, which probably doesn’t bode well for the happy couple frolicking in the sunshine.

    Back at Rebecca’s, everyone is viewing the security tape. Sam decides this is a perfect time to get peckish and sends Rebecca off in search of beer and sandwiches, though she reminds them this isn’t a Hooters. (Sam apparently had really terrible taste in bars back at Stanford.)

    Of course, Sam’s really sent Rebecca off because he saw Zach’s glowy eyes and thinks it might have something to do with how he could be in two places at once. Dean seems into it. Or maybe he’s just happy he’s getting a beer. Could go either way, really.

    Dean Seems Legit

    Back to DoppleZacher. who is in the formerly happy couple’s apartment. We know it’s him because a) we are way smarter than Sam, b) of the ominous music playing so soon after a reference to him, and c) we’re in an apartment we’ve never seen where the male half of happy couple utters the innocent phrase, “Hi Honey, it’s me.” Oh, sugar. You picked a bad day to come home early. Also the reason you can’t find Lindsay is probably because she’s dead. Especially since there is blood smeared on the walls. Including more bloody handprints.

    Sarah: Who’s making those? And why do they cut off at the edge of the wall?
    Dawn: Uh, I’d be making them if you were trying to drag me out of a room.

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  2. “Every part of it was an accident.” – The Mindy Project Recap

    April 17, 2014 by HeadOverFeels

    The Mindy Project Peter It's Fleet Week

    The Mindy Project
    Season 2, Episode 19: Think Like A Peter
    Posted by Sage

    You’re watching The Mindy Project and welcome to “Dating Tips From a Bro” with Dr. Peter Prentice!

    Thank the giant elephant in the sky for Peter, because things are CHILLY on the Dandy front. And this leaves Mindy without her usual sounding board. We know she doesn’t do well “being alone with [her] thoughts.”

    Danny doesn’t understand why he and Mindy can’t slip back into their pre-smoochy behavior, because the synapses in his brain have stopped firing or something. Gwen went the way the of fellow mysteriously disappeared cast member Shauna, and so should be showing up on The Crazy Ones any day now. Morgan and Tamara are busy in the pantry. Betsy and Beverly have differing views on spiders. And Jeremy isn’t an option, because Ed Weeks is on vacation in Barbados, I can only assume.

    Peter seriously rubbed Mindy the wrong way on their first meeting, which makes the friendship they’ve recently eased into all the more satisfying. Spiders and pantries and Barbados aside, the rest of the Shulman cast of characters are just too unusual to be viable BFF candidates. And maybe seeing that there’s more than one cute, dark-haired doctor willing to give Mindy closed-door counsel when she’s prostrate on her floor might knock some sense into Danny. My heart aches for the miles and miles that have opened up in the few yards between their two offices, but on a series-level, the change in dynamic is a good one. Peter was sort of drifting as a character. Now we know who he is. And from the look of Mindy’s Instagram feed from yesterday, our Dandy pain is only for the moment.

    I see you and your Peter/Mindy shipping, Tumblr. And yes, Pally DID look super cute in his Popeye hat. But Peter and Mindy are far too alike to be together romantic-styles. Think about it: they both look at dating as a full-contact sport. They’re both a little shallow. And I seriously doubt Mindy would be asking him for an honest boob-placement opinion (“They’re as great as they’re gonna be.”) if she saw him as an serious option. That’s a job for a gay husband.

    The Mindy Project Whiskey Lee

    A few of his “Think Like a Peter” tips may be misfires (i.e. don’t order whiskey to impress someone if it makes you gag), but we can all learn a few things about the dating battlefield here.

    #1. You don’t owe anybody anything, ever.

    Mindy must be desperate, since she’s lets Betsy – of all people – set her up. Phil is “nice” (“All coffee dates are with losers.”) in that he’s not mean. But he’s awkwardly familiar. He assumes he’s already in. In short, there’s no attraction. But Mindy feels locked in to dating him until he does something truly despicable. Would a Peter do that? You bet your ass he wouldn’t.

    The Mindy Project The Wolf of Wall Street

    “Did you learn nothing from Wolf of Wall Street”?

    When not defending Jordan Belfort, Peter “dates everyone” and breaks if off once things start to sour. He holds Mindy’s phone hostage so she can’t half-heartedly reply to every one of Phil’s cloying texts (“He’ll think I’m mean – I obviously am, but no one can know!”), and suddenly she’s free. Then they go out looking for some tail. The moral is: if you meet someone and don’t hit it off, you’re not obligated to see them again. You’re not even obligated to give an explanation. There’s a difference between being selfish and existing to make other people comfortable.

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  3. “You’re bad at this.” – The Mindy Project Recap

    April 15, 2014 by HeadOverFeels

    The Mindy Project You're Disgusting

    The Mindy Project
    Season 2, Episode 17: Be Cool
    Season 2, Episode 18: Girl Crush
    Posted by Sage

    Hang those torches and pitchforks back up, Mindy-ans (grr!). Break-up aside, Danny is being framed for douchery by wonky episode order. “Girl Crush” was originally meant to air pre-kiss, so some scenes (and that opening montage of Mindy’s break-up wallowings) were added after the fact. And I assume it was too late to ditch the sister subplot. Check Messina’s hair – it’s two different lengths during the episode.

    I just want to get that out of the way, because Danny’s “hey, there” thing with Sally Prentice and her not-meatball boobies tilts the in-the-right scales of Dandy’s break-up in Mindy’s direction. Hard. (Especially when “Girl Crush” had Mindy turning down a glossy dream job to stay loyal to her patients.) I wish “Be Cool” could have stood on its own. As it was, we had the most traumatic scene of the entire series followed immediately by some standard Shulman & Associates shenanigans. We weren’t ready! And what should have been a b-plot about still unrequited Danny trying to get over Mindy by dating someone new became HOW DARE YOU, SIR. YOUR RELATIONSHIP’S NOT EVEN COLD.

    And what an exquisitely painful break-up it was.

    Danny I'm sorry Mindy

    I’m not on Danny’s side, per se. I don’t think we’re meant to be picking sides. But he’s so real to me and this decision so true to everything we know about him and, as misguided as it is, it rings of his respect for Mindy, his best and only friend. Maybe it’s his Catholic guilt rearing its ugly head, but Danny doesn’t think he deserves things. Mindy, god bless her, knows that she does. And she’s never apologized for her expectations. Danny “didn’t ask” to be her friend, but she paid that no mind. She took down his walls with a sledgehammer and then waltzed through the rubble with a friendship cake in hand, not one hair out of place. So what makes him think he knows better now?

    The Mindy Project coward

    Every poor schmuck who’s been on the Mindy end of this SAME conversation wishes she’d had the guts to respond this way. Mindy calls Danny out, like she always does. And now she knows for sure that he’s not ashamed of her. He doesn’t wish she were a 100-lb pharma-babe. The girl might change and the words might be different, but distancing himself is the Danny Castellano special. (Remember “You’ve Got Sext,” when he made Mindy be his pretend girlfriend to protect himself from a “crazy” lady who happened to be very nice and only interested in a casual relationship?) But it’s the same line that girls like Mindy, who don’t coast on tedious, photoshop looks, have been hearing forever. Girls like us have got to be funny and loud and friendly to get anyone to give us the time of day. But then you’re TOO funny, you’re TOO great to be around, you’re such a good FRIEND, and wouldn’t it be a shame to ruin that? It would have been better if he cheated on Mindy or stood her up for All -You-Can-Eat Sushi or made fun of her for following Prince George’s first royal baby tour or became an event planner or sold her stuff for drug money. At least then he wouldn’t be convinced he was just doing “the right thing.” Instead he’s punishing her. It’s her fault for getting so close. Maybe if she weren’t so important to him, they could really have something. He really is bad at this.

    Would that we could just live in the first 5 minutes of “Be Cool” with clandestine kissing, morning-after smiles, and breaking news in the New York Post.

    Danny staying at my place

    Grumpy Danny is like my oxygen, but giddy relationship Danny is a close, close second. (“You sly dog!”) Have we ever seen him smile so unreservedly? Still, we can sense that something is a-brewing, even at Cute Callback Pancake Breakfast. He casually mentions something about their work environment “making it weird,” and Mindy closes her eyes and looks away for a moment. She had already been rehearsing various announcement scenarios in her head and now she has to hold back? They’re already moving at different speeds.

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  4. “You’re old as shit.” – Parks and Recreation Recap

    April 14, 2014 by HeadOverFeels

    Ben Wyatt Confetti

    Parks and Recreation
    Season 6, Episode 18: Prom
    Season 6, Episode 19: Flu Season 2
    Posted by Sage

    There are good surprises and there are bad surprises.

    Bad surprises are like, say, when the boyfriend of the protégé you’ve chosen to assume your mantel and be the caretaker of your legacy is revealed to be your greatest enemy. And the good kind? Well, say you’ve been craving burgers all day. They’re all you can think about. You’re having visions of all-beef patties. You get home after a hard day’s work, and your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/roommate/mom(?) says, “Hey, I’m about to drive over to Five Guys. What do you want?”

    Ben Wyatt Baby ReactionLeslie Knope Baby Reaction

    Well, buddy, I got some good news for you.

    Baby Knope-Wyatt is on the way, so it’s probably a good thing the pharmacist didn’t honor Leslie’s request for “the ‘Mariah needs to sing tonight’ stuff.” How time flies. It feels like we were just at prom last week. Wait.

    Forever a preserver of ritual and tradition, Leslie takes it upon herself to put on the Pawnee High prom that had been nixed by budget cuts. And she you know she won’t let her inexperience in ancient Italic languages keep her from valiantly rescuing a taxonomically valuable class too. Leslie Knope saved Latin. What did you ever do?

    Tom Haverford It's in the cloud

    While Tom and Ben – known at the ones and the twos as DJ Rumple Drop and Zoot Suit Wyatt, respectively – try desperately to get the party started, April and Andy regress to their high school comfort zones. Andy’s the most popular guy at schools he doesn’t even go to. And we see April’s misanthropic shenanigans as the defense mechanism that they are, more clearly than ever. High school magnifies the best and the worst of us. If it comes easily for you, you’ll probably never have to break a sweat. And if it doesn’t, then you might be working over time, all the time, just to let the world know how much you don’t care.

    Parks hate everything he loves

    It freaks April out, just how different she and Andy are on paper. And it’s a nice callback to their crushing days. She kept him at arm’s length for a long time, not because of their age difference, but because she worried that Andy was too optimistic for her – that once he really got to know her, he’d be repelled by her darkness. Instead, he lit her up. April would have never dared to care publicly about anything or anyone until Andy.

    We found each other Parks

    Prom, like most senior year traditions, is about celebrating the past and welcoming the future or, if you’re like me, bidding good riddance to high school and forgetting it EVER HAPPENED. Leslie has a mini-me in Prom co-chair Allison, another blond bundle of energy who’s also handy with a Juan Julio Oficina Supplies binder. Leslie becomes consumed with the idea of Allison taking over the “April Ludgate Summer Solstice Druid Festival and Buffalo Wing Eating Contest” (that’s the Parks Department unpaid summer internship to the layperson), thereby starting her down the path to Leslie-dom, and enters into a stand-off with Ron, who delights in wooing the over-achiever to a well-paid summer job over at Tim’s saw mill.

    Leslie Secret Society

    Co-Chaired by Tam Honks and Elena Kagan

    Rather than proposing chopping Allison in half, the school principal shames Ron and Leslie for using an impressionable teenage girl and her future to simply illustrate a point. (“I wouldn’t say ‘harassing’ so much as ‘persistently tormenting.’”) Leslie’s angling towards a 10 on the Ron Swanson Scale of Knope Insanity for this one. She missed the second half of the two-fold purpose of the Prom; she grips her past in a white knuckle grip. It’s fine that Tom doesn’t share the tastes of a gymnasium full of 17-year-olds. It would be sad if he did. But the Chicago job offer has Leslie scrambling to ensure the future of her town. The work isn’t done – it never will be, which is why Leslie Knope is made for it. But she can’t move on to bigger things while still holding the reins in Pawnee. She can’t have it both ways.

    “Making a blueprint for the future,” Ron tells her, “is a fool’s errand.” (I have a head canon that Ron becomes a Robert Frostian poet in his retirement.) And whatever plans she’s still cooking up despite Ron’s advice surely didn’t include finding out she was pregnant in Chipp McCapp’s recording studio. Is that it for the Chicago gig? Leslie and Ben will certainly want to raise their children in Pawnee, at least for now. It’ll be a tricky transition for the show to get just right, insofar as what it means for Leslie to choose – in this case – family over career. She’s a feminist hero, yes. But she’s a feminist hero because she’s a fully-developed person with rock-solid motivations and desires. It doesn’t do us any good for Leslie to do ~what’s right for womankind~. It does us good for Leslie to do what she wants to do. And baby or no baby, we’ll always have her standing between our children and our society’s oppressive gender roles. No pink on girls’ soccer uniforms as long as Leslie Knope draws breath.

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  5. This Place About To Blow-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh – Scandal Gif-Cap

    April 12, 2014 by HeadOverFeels

    Scandal Flesh and Blood if we're gonna die

    Season 3, Episode 17: “Flesh and Blood”
    Posted by Sage

    This week on I Still Know What You Did Last Scandal, the dissolution of B6-13 brings lots of people who want each other dead together under one roof. It’s six days until the election. Six days until Mellie has her “face pressed up against the glass of history.” (Calm down with those metaphors, Shondita.) Six days until Fitz gets his second term or Sally turns the country into the 4-year Director’s Cut of Jesus Camp. Mama Pope’s got a bomb, Papa Pope’s got a vendetta, and Quinn has her thigh-high stockings on, just in case. We’re as ready for this as we’ll ever be, so let’s get this party started.

    “Did you really just…treason!?” Soooooo…what you’re saying is me dismantling the country’s most secret and powerful national security force WASN’T cool?

    Alex Kingston No

    They can’t alert Homeland Security to the threat without blowing up the President’s spot, re: that whole plane crash thing. So?

    Tenth Doctor Who cares

    “You mean the sacrifice of sleeping with me so you can hack into my phone?” Ah, the hardship.

    Do I regret it New GirlNew Girl Would I do it again

    “Really?” “Really?” David still can’t believe he somehow got himself involved with all these unstable individuals.

    Donna Meagle side eye

    Rowan struts in to a James Brown score all, “Mr. President. How can I be of service?” The man’s got style.

    RDJ Spotlight Me

    Like Maya/Marie, Dominic Bell is a terrorist for hire. Hardly anyone on this show, good or bad, is driven by any kind of idealogy.

    Breaking Bad dollar

    “I’m doing this for me.” Rowan has a score to settle.

    Tina Your ass is grass

    Brian McKenzie and Quinn are being all domestic again. It’s disturbing as balls.

    Warm bodies don't be creepy

    “Command. Other command.” Awkwaaaard.

    Jamie Lannister waving

    Jake and Rowan are bickering like children. Draining whatever faith anyone in that room has of this operation being successful.

    Slap fight Between two ferns

    “So. Are you guys like, an item now?” Leave it to Abby to say what everyone else is thinking.

    Supernatural Sam Whack a doo

    “He will break your bones and step over your body on the way in.” Jake is having none of Olivia’s hero worship of her dad.

    Lion King simba crying

    “You think he’s your dad, but that’s just a part he’s playing.”

    Patrick Stewart Acting

    Meanwhile, Leo’s having secret meetings behind the bleachers with a cute little field hockey girl. Errrmmm…

    Chilton nervous

    Sally and Fitz are having a tug of war over who gets to score political points by giving Senator Hightower’s eulogy. As is befitting the legacy of someone we’re told was a legitimately a  great man. Sigh.

    30 Rock let me talk

    “Ya’ll tell me what you decide. Either way, I get to stand by my man.” Drunk and Over It Mellie>>>>

    loyal to Joffrey Game of Thrones

    Sexy ladies, arming a bomb! Pencil skirts and bad intentions! 

    Justin Bieber blow stuff up

    Quinn is weirdly ping-ponging back and forth between Huck and Brian McKenzie and when will this eeeeennnnndddd?

    Sleepy Hollow This is awkward

    “The man was a soldier on the battle lines of immigration.” Wait, wait, wait: there are people in this town who are actually making policy?

    The West Wing What's Next

    “I’m telling you I’m losing.” “I’m telling you I’m black. Sally doesn’t have the NAACP.” Best line of the night, obviously.

    Bob Ross Beauty is Everywhere

    “If you’re dead, how am I supposed to-” GURL.

    Sherlock side eye

    “I miss you.” Ru has a message for you, Fitz:

    Ru Paul You're basic

    “They love me in Flint.” I bet they do.

    White people psych

    Cyrus probably shouldn’t be on the phone to schmooze donors.

    Downton Abbey Instrument of Torture

    Harrison calls Rowan Papa Pope! Talk about misreading a room.

    Seth Cohen Really Great

    “I found him. He’s heavy.” And Quinn’s giving Huck a look that says, “Heeeeyyyyy….”

    She's the Man I'd Tap That

    Field hockey girl is seducing Jerry! Which takes about .5 seconds, cause he’s in high school.

    Teenagers The Little Mermaid

    She delivers Leo a paper bag that presumably contains a full condom. Which the US News & World Report college issue ranks right under a diverse list of extracurriculars as a foolproof way of getting into Harvard.

    You nasty Raven

    “Just because I sell you a canvas doesn’t mean I know where you’re going to hang it.” Dominic is an ar-TISTE, y’all.

    Sensitive Beyonce

    “Question him, don’t hurt him.” Mmmm-hmmm.

    Friends Yeah Right

    Leo and Sally are gonna run a paternity test on Jerry! Hope Fitz is getting that dance ready.

    You are not the father Maury

    “You’d have to be an idiot to be this reckless. And you are not an idiot.” YES. Mellie and Olivia respecting each other! Break away from these toxic men!!! GO OUT THELMA AND LOUISE STYLE.

    Mean girls sluts and whores

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  6. Along Comes Mary – Supernatural Recap

    April 11, 2014 by HeadOverFeels

    Supernatural Mirror Smash Bloody Mary

    Posted by Sarah and Dawn

    Welcome to our newest guest post series! Head Over Feels are finally filling our SuperWhoLock quota with “Salt vs. Sass: Dawn & Sarah take on Sam and Dean,” a Supernatural recap-a-thon! We’ll learn all about the family business through the eyes of veteran fan Dawn and n00b Sarah. They’ll be posting weekly, so now is the perfect moment to queue up your rewatch or pop your SPN cherry. Want to speak fluent SPN fangirl? Check out this handy Glossary of Terms.

    Take it away, ladies! –S

    Dawn Ferchak is a long-term Dean girl who occasionally has trouble resisting the King of Hell.

    Sarah Bisman is an SPN newbie and professional crafter of one-line bios.

    SARAH: Okay. So, by now we’re all aware that I scare fairly easily, right? Who knows why? Maybe on a
    level, it’s because I, like foxy Fox Mulder, WANT TO BELIEVE. Maybe it’s because I read one too many above-my-maturity-level horror stories in grade school. Maybe I’m just drawn that way. Whatever the reason, certain urban legends, especially the ones involving magic and darkness, just freak my shit out worse than anything. And Bloody Mary is the worst of the worst. Whee! Episode 5, I’m terrified already !!

    DAWN: So in complete opposition to my darling recap partner, we all know by now that if there’s scary supernatural shit happening, I am likely to run straight for it. This is not new behavior — in fact, middle school slumber parties were where I cut my teeth on this shit, with seances, “trances,” light as a feather stiff as a board, ghost stories, and — yes — tempting bloody terror by chanting in front of a mirror. And well do I remember the nervous chill of fear just before saying it a third time. Here’s hoping this ep brings the shiveries.

    Moss IT Crowd Popcorn

    Season 1, Episode 5: Bloody Mary
    Written by Ron Milbauer and Terry Hughes Burton

    Recaplet: Terror and flaaaames! And dad! And portents. And Dead!Jess. And Scary Demonbits! And finding Dead!Jess’ Demon Killer! OOOOOOh!!

    Chyron: Toledo, Ohio.

    A bunch of girls are playing Truth or Dare by candlelight. They are giggling when the scene opens, which probably means at least one if not all of them are about to be gruesomely dispatched by Bloody Mary (given the episode’s title, anyway).

    Deadshirt!Slumber Party Girls function as Basil Exposition, telling us that Mary was killed in a car crash (so NOT Mary Queen of Scots, then) and appears in a mirror before “scratching your eyes out” if you say her name three times. Giggles ensue. One girl asks why anyone would bother saying it. Another points out, “Because it isn’t real.”

    SPN Life Lesson #18: It’s ALWAYS real.

    Good luck, little Deadshirts. And Crowleyspeed.

    Deadshirt!SkepticGirl takes a giant candle into the bathroom, places it in front of the mirror, and says The Words. After the second time, the candle flickers ominously. On the third time, her super-helpful friends bang on the door, scaring her, and us, and annoying her dad, who appears on the landing.

    Oh no! Skeptic!Girl ISN’T the Deadshirt! It’s Dad! A faceless girl is seen in the upstairs mirrors as he walks past them, stalking Deadshirt!Dad. But why? Also, why do they have so many mirrors? Dad starts to bleed out of his eyes. Big Sis comes home (past curfew) and jokes with her sister and her sister’s friends before going upstairs to see all the blood ever in existence flooding out of the bathroom door, which is an awful lot of blood for human eyes. She opens the bathroom door to even more blood and screams like this is her Jamie Lee Curtis moment. (To be fair, it is.)

    Hitchcock You Should Have Seen the Blood

    Cut to Nightmare!Sam, asleep-awake on his bed, staring at blue-lit Jess, who is stuck to his ceiling and bleeding again. She says, “Why Sam??” and bursts into flames. Cue Madeline!

    Madeline Kahn Flames on the Side of My Face

    Dean wakes Sam up, and it’s kinda like Freaky Friday because Dean says they’re eventually going to need to talk about Sam’s issues and Sam ignores the statement entirely. Anyway, they’re in Toledo. Why? To research the mysterious, bloody death of Deadshirt!Dad, of course!

    SARAH: I seriously wonder what Dean will do once newspapers full give way to tablets in about four seasons. Does he digitally circle entries on his iPad? Or is he the sole reason local newspapers are able to stay in business?

    Dean and Sam head to the local morgue, where this week’s Alias of the Week is med students from Columbus who cannot convince the morgue attendant to let them near the body. Dean wants to do violence. Sam appeals to the attendant’s greed. $100 bucks, and suddenly access to the body is no problem at all. This displeases Dean because he EARNED THAT MONEY. (By playing poker, but still!)

    Deadshirt!Dad has liquified bloody eyes. Cause of death is…”something burst up in there,” resulting in more blood in his brain than the attendant has ever seen. Sam is visibly grossed out. The medical report costs them more money, and they’re off to talk to the traumatized daughter.

    They arrive, very underdressed for the funeral that is taking place. New Alias Time! Let’s try Deadshirt!Dad’s coworkers — maybe that won’t cost them as much cash. They talk to Donna and Lily, the sisters from the opener. Lily is convinced it’s ALL HER FAULT because she said Bloody Mary. Dean rather logically points out that it couldn’t have been Mdm Mary because Dad didn’t say it. This seems to make perfect sense to Lily, so good, we guess?

    Dean and Sam morph into Basil and Cecil, and though they aren’t stupid enough to say Bloody Mary three times anywhere in the bathroom, they remember that dear old Dad never found evidence that it was a “real thing” — though the circumstances of Deadshirt!Dad’s death seem to be disproving that to some degree. Also, there is still blood on the floor, so somebody better call Sunshine Cleaning.

    Enter Protective!Friend (a blonde, of course, which means that one or both of the brothers will be hitting on her before the end of the episode). She wants to know WTF — why the weird questions, why the lying about knowing the father. She demands answers, or she’ll start screaming. Sam’s puppy dog eyes rein her in and he explains that they think something weird happen to Deadshirt!Dad, something they don’t want happen to anyone else. He leaves her with their phone number and an admonition to call if she or her friends “notice anything strange, out of the ordinary.” Other than the two of them, one can’t help but think.

    SARAH: She’s skeptical. I like her. She’s like Ohio’s Veronica Mars. Sort of.
    DAWN: In that case, given how blondes tend to fare on this show, she might want to consider kickstarting her own funeral fund.

    Hunter Homework takes place at the library, where Basil and Cecil briefly discuss the basics of the Bloody Mary legend and also how annoying this research is going to be, what with broken computers and all. College clearly spoiled Sam.

    Cut to Protective!Friend, whose name is Charlie. She’s driving while chatting on her cell (not smart) with her pal Deadshirt!Jill. They agree that our boys were cute, which is totally what any girl would be thinking about the weird duo investigating the bathroom at a funeral while lying about knowing the corpse. Also Deadshirt!Jill is kind of an asshole — once she realizes that Charlie is more than a little freaked out by things, she decides the best thing a super helpful friend could do is to say “Bloody Mary” three times in front of a mirror and then scream immediately afterwards. Super funny, Deadshirt!Jill! Think Mary liked the joke?

    That's Not Funny

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  7. “Am I Your Fluffer, Fitz?”- Scandal Gif-Cap

    April 8, 2014 by HeadOverFeels

    Posted by Kim

    Scandal 3 x 16

    “The Fluffer”

    While the pacing wasn’t QUITE as furious as the past few episodes of Scandal, “The Fluffer” DID get the action ready for the final arc of Season Three, proving the episode title was not JUST a commentary on the Olitz relationship.  Evil Puppet Master Shonda Rhimes moves all her pieces into place in this episode setting up what is sure to be an explosive finale, in more ways than one.  But enough talk…let’s get to the gifs!

    ABBY in the White Coat.  Looking fabulous I might add.

    Nobody talking in the meeting.

    Fitz walking out cause Olivia is not there. Proving he is the biggest baby in the country.

    “Promise me you won’t hurt him.” Even after everything Fitz has done to her, Olivia still defends him.  Sigh.

    “I promise I wont touch a hair on his head.” Note the phrasing.  He can hurt OTHER parts, he just won’t touch anything on his head.

    “I would have gone with anonymous former government employee.” I’m so glad David and his quips live to see another episode.

    “I’m not going to do it.”  So everyone is going to a petulant baby in the episode.  Alrighty then.

    “You deserve something REAL.”  Stawwwwwwwwwwp with your perfection, Andrew.

    “Someone whose not just playing the part of the man who loves you but SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY DOES.”

    The title of Jeanine’s book is Taken for Granted.  Bless you, book publishers.

    “The President of the United States is definitely a baguette.” (So THAT’S why he gets all the ladies?)

    “THIS is our legacy?”   Like I said, even in the midst of his grief, Cyrus’ one-liners are everything.

    Mellie’s reaction to the Jeanine story is everything.

    “Olivia and I need the room.” Subtext: So we can have another angst filled argument where I demean her.  BECAUSE I LOVE HER. #theworst

    “You sent Gabby to me in your place.” Her name is ABBY, you cretin.  She’s worked with Olivia for years and you can’t even be bothered to learn her name, you jerk.

    Fitz wanting to kick Andrew off the ticket because he is SOOOOOO jealous over Mellie.  Because there is only one person whose allowed to have orgasms in the White House and it’s him.

    “What service can I render for you today? Am I here to stroke your ego?”

    “Maybe I’m here to make you feel hot and manly and ready so you’re not jealous of your wife’s boyfriend?”

    “Am I your fluffer today, Fitz? What service am I billing you for today?” Guys, if only Olivia would just stand by her glorious takedowns of Fitz…everything would be okay.

    “You’re being disgusting and petty and jealous.”


    “The movie just STOPS.  It’s just me waiting for a house in Vermont that I can’t live in and a man that makes me promises he can’t keep.” See…it’s like she’s taking it all back and being pathetic again.

    “I am NOT the bad guy.”

    “I didn’t HAPPEN to you.” Keep telling yourself that, Fitz.  Because you most DEFINITELY happened to her.


  8. Behind Black Eyes – Supernatural Recap

    April 4, 2014 by HeadOverFeels

    Supernatural Phantom Traveler Are you okay

    Posted by Sarah and Dawn

    Welcome to our newest guest post series! Head Over Feels are finally filling our SuperWhoLock quota with “Salt vs. Sass: Dawn & Sarah take on Sam and Dean,” a Supernatural recap-a-thon! We’ll learn all about the family business through the eyes of veteran fan Dawn and n00b Sarah. They’ll be posting weekly, so now is the perfect moment to queue up your rewatch or pop your SPN cherry. Want to speak fluent SPN fangirl? Check out this handy Glossary of Terms.

    Take it away, ladies! –S

    Dawn Ferchak is a long-term Dean girl who occasionally has trouble resisting the King of Hell.

    Sarah Bisman is an SPN newbie and professional crafter of one-line bios.

    Sarah: This week on SPN: Because no one has anything to fear about the formerly friendly skies, this week DEMONS CRASH PLANES. I THINK I WILL TRAVEL BY TRAIN FROM NOW UNTIL FOREVER (OR AT LEAST JUNE), BASED SOLELY ON THIS FRAKKING EPISODE. (My anxiety about Terrifying Occurrences doesn’t have the firmest basis in logic, in case you were wondering.) Can I get a tiny bottle of Scotch over here, please?

    Dawn: THERE’S A MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE ON THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANE! Well, not exactly, but then again, kinda, by the time we get to the end. Yes, Hunters and Fans of Letters, this week’s recap is all about Dean and Sam’s personal nightmare at 20,000 feet. Do they handle it better than Shatner? ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE. Or, you know, us, since it’s our recap. Grab a tiny bag of peanuts, won’t you?

    Twilight Zone Someone on the wing

    Season 1, Episode 4: Phantom Traveler
    Written by Richard Hateum

    Recaplet with significantly fewer flames and significantly more searching for dad and monsters.

    We open on a tropical paradise (psych! It’s a poster, but seriously, gorgeous) but it’s no matter to our first Deadshirt, a terribly, horribly, anxious traveler. He’s in some random airport, talking to another random traveler who tries to calm him. Good luck, calming stranger (are you the pilot? I’m confused) with insta-statistic. YOU’LL DIE TOO, because Anxious Traveler has been possessed by black ick. THROUGH HIS EYES.

    SPN Life Lesson #12: Black Eyes are NEVER, EVER GOOD. (Also, they are important to the overall mythos of the show.)

    Deadshirt!Traveler’s eyes are solid black, which wigs out our cheery blonde flight attendant (oh hai, Jaime Ray Newman, loved you on Eureka), but she’s professional, yo, and carries on.

    Deadshirt!Traveler asks Deadshirt!MiddleSeatLady how long they’ve been in the air and makes a terrible joke about how “time really does fly.” Then he asks to be let out so he can stretch his legs, by which he actually means walk to the back of the plane, rip open the fucking exit door open (HINT: This should not be possible for a mere human), and kill himself and nearly everyone on the plane. The last thing we see is our cheery blonde flight attendant grabbing her O2 mask…

    …And then we cut to long, muscly man-legs in what looks like boxer briefs. They turn out to belong to Dean, which turns Dawn into this:

    Buffy Willow Hi

    Dean is sleeping on his stomach when the door to Motel Du Jour opens up and we see an ominous dark shadow lurking behind a funky glass partition. Amazingly, it’s not Life Lesson #8 — it’s just Sammy with coffee. Sam admits he’s still having weird dreams and has totally forgotten how much This Job is ZOMG This Job. He and Dean banter about fear. Sam thinks sleeping with a gigantic hunting knife under your pillow is fear; Dean believes it is preparedness. We are totally with Dean on this one because SPN Life Lesson #13 is clearly it’s not paranoia when everything is fucking supernatural.

    The phone rings! This week’s Basil Exposition is Jerry, whom Dean helped with a poltergeist a few years back. Jerry has found “something else that could be a lot worse.” He requests an in-person meeting and vrrroooom, across the country go our boys.

    Jerry is another amazing character actor whose banter about poltergeists and their dad unintentionally buoys Sam’s psyche, at least until he brings them to his office and plays the cockpit voice recorder for Black Eye’s flight — a panicked transmission that ends with a weird and scream-y electronic noise. Like an angry, digitized panther. Jerry also tells them that seven people survived the crash, including the pilot. Sam and Dean want the whole shebang: passenger manifests, logs, access to the wreckage — that last one is damn near impossible in a post-9/11 world (even the fictional ones). Jerry lacks clearance to get them inside; Dean is feloniously unconcerned, because he is planning to make bogus Homeland Security badges for himself and Sammy. At a photocopy place. Because that’s totally not going to land them both in Guantanamo forever and ever amen. Concerned!Sam is concerned. Dean is giddy over a brand-new badge.

    Supernatural Dean giddy

    Sammy plays Dean the cockpit voice recorder again, this time with EVP rasping, “noooo survivorrrrrs” tidily ensuring that Sarah will need a tranquilizer next time she boards a plane, while Dawn is scouring the app store for an EVP recorder for her phone (because she already has an EMF meter on it). Our boys namecheck Flight 401 and wonder if this is a similar haunting (unlikely, since the Flight 401 ghosts generally freaked the ever-living fuck out of people in order to draw their attention to onboard safety issues).

    They visit Max Jaffey, who has checked himself into a psychiatric hospital because he’d been “seeing things” on the flight before it crashed. He describes how Black Eyes opened the emergency exit, which should have been physically impossible due to the “something like two tons of pressure on that door.” Also, Black Eyes didn’t flicker, which means he wasn’t a ghost. He was a real life, presumably human passenger who had been sitting right there, at the time, bringing us neatly to SPN Life Lesson #14: Flickering = ghost. Not flickering = not a ghost.

    Next up is the widow of George Phelps, seat 23, a pteromerhanophobic (that means fear of flying and not fear of pterodactyls, though pterodactyls are probably way scarier because teeth and claws) dentist en route to a convention. Sam does the semi-tactful probing (did he ever act weird, etc.) and learns that George had acid reflux. “A middle-aged dentist with an ulcer is not exactly evil personified,” opines Dean. Dawn thinks this is adorable, because that tune will change in a hurry (though not necessarily in this episode).

    Our boys go suit shopping. Dean thinks he’s rocking a Blues Brothers look; Sam thinks it’s more middle school dance. Cheap suits and badges get them access to the wreckage.

    Dawn: As a cop’s daughter, I can confirm that the combination of suit plus badge does indeed work on all manner of things it shouldn’t.

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  9. “Let’s do slow.” – The Mindy Project Recap

    April 4, 2014 by HeadOverFeels

    The Mindy Project Mindy and Danny Hands

    The Mindy Project
    Season 2, Episode 15: “French Me, You Idiot”
    Season 2, Episode 16: “Indian BBW”
    Posted by Sage

    On Tuesday night around 9:02 pm EST, my Twitter timeline exploded into one long stream of squee. Now, considering the general flailiness of my online friends (kisses – love you guys), this isn’t exactly an unusual occurrence. But the all-encompassing joy is worth mentioning, for two reasons. Firstly, because it was the complete opposite of the utter despair kicked up by the previous night’s How I Met Your Mother finale, and secondly, because one year ago, a new episode of The Mindy Project hardly registered with us.

    To quote Michael Scott, “How the turntables…”

    The Mindy Project Danny Mindy Airplane Bathroom

    Who’s The Boss?

    Not to dredge up old grievances, but Mindy Kaling’s willingness to let her vision for her show evolve along the way and fearlessness in implementing necessary changes show exactly the kind of open-eyed perspective that Carter Bays and Craig Thomas needed. Is Anna Camp fabulous? A million times, yes. But the heart of The Mindy Project‘s comedy lives in the office of Shulman & Associates; Mindy herself plays better off of those actors; and so, in this instance, cutting a great-on-paper character played by a terrific comic actress was the right thing to do.

    Between its pilot and now, Mindy has implemented several other changes that have allowed it to develop into a show that’s full-grown and ready to be loved. But enough about structure and themes. Let’s talk about Danny Castellano’s lips and general facial region.

    The Mindy Project Danny Smile

    Mindy, open your eyes! Look at the way this man is looking at you!

    “You can’t write chemistry,” Kaling said at the show’s Paleyfest panel this year. And you can’t write an Old Hollywood-style man-man with a flair for comedy like Chris Messina. This week’s double bill of episodes picked up where we left off a grueling two and a half months ago – with Danny making his move in the back of an airplane. You know, that part where the flight attendants hang out. With all the little drawers? Anyway, I still smile whenever I see tonic water at the grocery store.

    Mindy has also talked about her refusal to bog down a will-they, won’t-they in contrived barriers. So what we didn’t get on Tuesday was a backpedal and a swift return to the status quo. Though they did tease us with it. “Look, I’m gonna count to three. If you don’t kiss me, I’m gonna realize this was a big mistake and return to my seat in humiliation. One…two…three…four.” And there’s the difference between Danny/Mindy and Danny/Christina or Danny/Girls in His Phone: that “four.” For her, he’ll stand and wait and risk his own mortification. If she hadn’t responded when she did, he would have just kept right on counting until she did.

    Aside from a failed Mile High Club attempt, his courage pays off. Mindy and Danny return back to New York hand-in-hand. But Cliff, wooed back by Danny’s Mindy’s letter (“I wrote the crap outta that thing. Real romantic-like.”), shows up with the least welcome grand gesture in Mindy’s Julia Roberts Appreciation Life. At least I now have a mental image of a wounded Chris Messina surrounded by a mariachi band to return to whenever I find it necessary. (So far, frequently.)

    Mindy is a serial dater and Danny, though he’d like us to believe otherwise, is not. And so the obstacles that crop up in the beginning of their relationship are all about establishing a balance there. We’re already two for two on Mindy’s exes haunting the newlyweds in these eps, though she is clearly decided on what she wants. Cliff might as well be in the casket with his racist Gram, because he ostensibly died the moment Danny went for the butt. (Remember when Tracey Wigfield said that move was “pure Messina”? Mindy Kaling has the best job in the world.) And Tom is just a curiosity from her dating past. They’re nothing in comparison to what this could be, and she’s very conscious of it. “I kissed Danny,” she tells Cliff. “And I don’t think it’s a one-time thing.”

    The Mindy Project hinduDanny Castellano Giant Elephant

    The complications are coming from outside the house, basically. Now that she’s had a taste, Mindy is “horny for kisses” – hence the episode title – though Danny’s conscience is cockblocking. (“Let’s chalk it up to turbulence and altitude and the blue corn chips.”) He says it’s because “his guy” wouldn’t be pleased with some technical adultery (“I’m so Catholic, I don’t even trust this new pope!”), but all his righteous posturing is misdirection from his nagging insecurities. Is he a blip too? A funny story to tell over cocktails? He won’t know for sure until the lawyer’s out of the picture. And so begins “How to Lose a Cliff in 2 Hours: The Mindy Lahiri Story.”

    The Mindy Project I'll Kill You

    Cliff is a nice enough guy, but we don’t feel bad for him. Mainly because anything standing in the way of Dandy must be destroyed (I came in like a wreeeecking baalllll…) but also because he loves a version of Mindy that doesn’t exist. They’re back together on the strength of the letter Danny wrote with her (and to her), which is so unlike her usual rambling emails with “pop culture references nobody understands.” Which is like, whatever, Cliff. If you know Mindy at all, you’d appreciate her stream of consciousness emails as proof that she likes and trusts you. This season began with Danny and Mindy corresponding while she was in Haiti with Ders-Casey, and I didn’t hear Danny complain about any spelling errors. He always wants to hear what she has to say. He learned who Michael Fassbender was for her, for Magneto’s sake.

    The Mindy Project Bridget Jones

    #gpoy, Min. #gpoy.

    Mindy is constantly trying to tamp down the aspects of her personality that the guys she dates find annoying. Danny gets it all, no filter. She challenges him with them, dares him to judge her. I remember reading a recap of the Friends episode “TOW the List” years ago, and the recapper hit Ross’s fatal error directly on the head. After Rachel finds the pros and cons list, he defends himself by telling her, “I want to be with you in spite of those things.” Swap out “in spite of” for “because,” and maybe they would have been together long before the prom video. Danny and Mindy are going to be different, because she won’t have to waste time and energy better spent with scrumptious lips and pizza bagels on meticulously covering up what she’s been told are her flaws. Danny knows her better than any of those guys ever did (they’ve been on “hundreds of dates” already, he tells her – and it’s true) and doesn’t want her to change a thing. (“You’re a woman, so look like a woman.”) And even though he’s frustrated with the Cliff situation, he can’t help but admire her for not having the heart to dump a broken man. (“Yeah, she’s a good kid.”)

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  10. Head Over Feels Spills Our TARDIS Dreams to the SF Signal Mind Meld

    April 2, 2014 by HeadOverFeels

    Doctor Who Eleven TARDIS

    Posted by Kim and Sage

    “The Doctor in the TARDIS. Next stop: everywhere.”

    We were thrilled to be invited to take part in our first (and hopefully not last!) Mind Meld panel over at the Hugo Award-winning SF Signal this week. And though the question wasn’t a particularly easy one to answer, we can’t argue with being included in this company. Acclaimed fantasy writer Paul Cornell? Novelist and sister to Captain Jack, Carole Barrowman? Erika Ensign, one of the fabulous Verities? Yes, please.

    The truth is, every Whovian has devoted an extensive amount of internal dialogue to this topic. It’s the dream, after all. The million dollar question posed to our panel of Who geeks was this:

    If you could take one trip in the TARDIS, where would you go?

    For our answers and the rest, head over to SF Signal.

    Then, leave your TARDIS fantasies in the comments. And don’t forget to always keep a bag packed and ready to go. We won’t tell. And you never know.

    Eleven Come On Then Sexy