Season 2, Episode 15: The Transfer
– Posted by Sage
Our worst nightmare is coming true. Smash has been officially canceled.
Despite our organized campaign to send “Save Our Show” self-throwing, Eileen Rand martinis to NBC execs, this little disaster couldn’t survive the network massacre. And you know what that means…
We’ll never be graced by Ivy’s pregnancy bosom. Le sigh. On to the gifs.
Well, that was quick. Hit List transferred to the Barrymore. Because it’s so ~transcendent.~
“Pretender” isn’t a Broadway showtune. It’s an outtake from a very special musical episode of The Suite Life of Zach and Cody.
“Where’s the Diva?” Ann Harada would NOT STAND FOR THIS.
“Good lord, I hope that thing’s insured, Lindsey.” Pleasure to see and hear you, Ms. Mendez
“This is all about the Tonys.” Eileen means business.
“Karen, oh!” Oh. We’re friends now. That’s…nice.
“Can we just promise that whatever happens we’re going to be adults about it?”
“Oh look, there’s mom with her new family.” Tom’s got jokes.
“I know and understand the business of theater.” Well if this is what’s passing for “knowing” and “understanding” these days…
“What behavior? I’ve been a saint.” Ivy DID miraculously cure herself of depression AND addiction to an ambiguous brand of prescription pills.
“He’s made it perfectly clear. He’s hyper-focused on the show.” Karen remains blissfully unaware of her surroundings and the emotions of other people.
“It’s taken care of.” Isn’t that the devil from Damn Yankees? Also, wait, what?
“Oh yeah, the internet? A lot of helpful information there.” You’re welcome.
“You know, it hit me this morning. Off-Broadway the theaters are small.” Well, whadaya know?
LIN-MANUEL IS IN THIS EPISODE?!?
“This is what Kyle was good at. These big ideas.” That’s so funny, because until he died, he was an incompetent book writer.
“You don’t know Derek like I do.” Karen is that insufferable girl who thinks that she exists solely to play muse to every tortured artist in a 40 mile radius.
“Oh my god – you ARE replacing her.” A few episodes ago, Karen was ready to Nancy-Kerrigan Ana right out of the show.
SHE GOT A NATIONAL COMMERCIAL? And now Ivy Lynn will be a household name in all the flyover states, just like Alice Ripley, Sherie Rene Scott, and Joanna Gleason before her.
“I’ll be the emcee, NATCH.” Tom, you’re my favorite.
“It’s everywhere – the boards, the blogs…” Mimi lives in a delusion wherein news about Bombshell and its cast is reported and discussed like it’s actually set in Benghazi.
“Oh yeah, commenting on fame was, like, Kyle’s thing.”
“Live updates during the show. Wow. I like it.” Words can’t express just how aggressively I would loathe the “social media assault” they’re suggesting.
Tom’s outfit at the revue.
“That’s the thing about Jonathan Groff, he curses like a sailor.” Groffsauce mention! Drink!
“I’mma tweet that. I love you.” I love you too, Lin. Call me.
You can’t just mention Norbert and then not have him on the show.
“It’s now or never.” Then let’s just make it never.
“You’re not a Norma Jean. You’re a Marilyn. That’s who you are.” You have to be one or the other!
Ivy was very concerned about a striptease number wherein she didn’t strip.
“You know what the good news is? She filmed it.” Oop.
“Oh my god, how is this now suddenly about you?” Sometimes Derek just says what we’re all thinking, and I want to hug him forever for it.
“Would you relax? This is the VMAs. They’ll be on their best behavior.” Ahahahahhahahha.
“I’m Not Sorry” is like a really, really boring “Telephone.”
THE TWEETS. NO NO NO NO NO.
Please let Julia sing like Grace Adler. We should be so lucky.
“I love you.”
“Great. So I’ll just win the Tony then.”
“Thank you for the song. Thank you for all of the songs.” Hey, some Smash dialogue that evokes an emotion other than anger!
“No, no, I get it. We’re your competition.” “We’re colleagues.” Somebody call the wahhhh-bulance for boy-genius, Brooklyn Jimmy.
“Is it because you stopped sleeping with him?” Business, None of Yours, Inc.
“You’re talking about telling Ana? She’s my best friend.” Karen’s secret-keeping ethics haven’t changed since the 4th grade.
“Congratulations, you’re pregnant.”
Kim and I will be double-teaming the two-hour series finale on May 26th. Double the gifs, double the recappers, double the tragic underuse of incredible Broadway talent. See you then.