In Appreciation of Ross Geller

Posted by Kim

Last night I was having tacos and frozen Coronas (I KNOW right?) with some friends when the conversation subject inevitably came around to television, more specifically classic television shows that we didn’t discover till late in their runs or even after they went off the air.  My friend Nicole starting talking about how she really didn’t discover/fully appreciate Friends until the repeats started airing on Nick at Nite.  This naturally led to a discussion of the characters and which ones were our favorites.  “I can’t decide between Chandler and Joey,” Nicole said.  “But I do know one thing…and that’s that I HATE Ross.”

Excuse me?  Ross Geller is AWESOME.

There has been a lot of hate directed at Ross lately, most notably with this list on Buzzfeed and that makes me sad.  Much like Ted Mosby, Ross is a bit of a sad sack and a downer.  He’s REALLY geeky and pretentious about it.  He’s a know-it-all.  He whines and complains A LOT.  He’s neurotic and maybe uses a bit too much hair gel.  But he’s also a devoted friend and a hopeless romantic.  To borrow lyrics from the theme song, Ross is the kind of guy who will always be there for you when you need him.  Ross was often the straight man/romantic lead, especially in the early seasons, which can be a tough role to handle.  Despite earning an Emmy Nomination for the first season, I never felt like David Schwimmer got the credit he deserved for how good he was as Ross.  Ensembles NEED a Ross to work and I can’t imagine what Friends would have been like without him. 

Thus I bring you ten reasons why I love Ross Geller…

1) PIVOT!!

I mean…who HASN’T balked at an outrageous delivery charge?  I once went to Ikea and when I found out that the delivery charge would be more than the purchase itself, I stubbornly put all my purchases on the bus and (rather disastrously I might add) hauled them back to my Upper West Side apartment with just my best friend to help me.  Ross’ outrage is perfectly understandable!  I would have done the same thing.

Also let’s take a moment to appreciate David Schwimmer’s fantastic vocal delivery in this scene, and in many scenes throughout the series (“It tastes like feet.” is another one that comes to mind).  Because you KNOW that the script probably said “Pivot.  Pivot.  Pivot!  PIVOT!!”  But Schwimmer imbued the dialogue with creativity and pure Rossness.  Yes, I just made that a word.

2) His Music

“Emotional Knapsack” would TOTALLY be a number one hit, am I right?

3) He follows beauty and fashion trends

Spray Tanning:

Just remember to count “Mississippilessly” next time you get a spray tan, buddy.  (And this episode has made me afraid of spray tanning booths for life, and I will never ever go to one.)

Teeth Whitening:

“What’s the matter with ME?  You’ve got a black light!  It’s 1999!”

Setting a new trend with Paste Pants:

Schwimmer rarely got credit for what a BRILLIANT physical comedian he was on this show.  The paste pants sequence ranks among on of my favorite scenes of the entire series.  “The lotion and the powder have made a PAAAAAASTE!!”

4) Rachel’s Birthday present in Season One

Yes, the Ross and Rachel dynamic got a bit tiresome in the later seasons with their on again/off again-ness.  Yes, you wanted to scream at the TV “OMG will you make up your mind and decide if you REALLY want to be together or not?!” on a weekly basis.  But come on…season one Ross?  How could you not love him?  How could you not root for the eternally geeky guy to finally get together with the head cheerleader?  If you didn’t you were watching the show wrong.

In getting Rachel the cameo that she had offhandedly mentioned that she loved, Ross proves that he is the type of guy who remembers things.  He’s thoughtful.  He listens.  He’s the type of guy who would get you presents just to make you happy and because he knows it is something you would love.  That’s pretty dreamy in my book.

5) The Cursing Sign

Do you ever find yourself in need of a way to tell someone to fuck off without SAYING it or using your middle finger?  Well, thanks to Ross, now you can.

6) The Moist-Maker

As someone who has had problems with roommates eating my food in the past, Ross’ meltdown about his special Thanksgiving sandwich is totally understandable.

Hmmm.  Maybe I am Ross and that’s why I am such a Ross apologist???  Something to ponder.

7) He’s not afraid to commit to a theme.

From the Holiday Armadillo to Spud-nik, you always know that Ross Geller will wear a bitchin’ costume to your next theme party.

8) Unagi

Because never again will I be able to go to a sushi restaurant and not scream “DANGER!!” in my head when I see Unagi on the menu.

9) His Divorces

On one hand, Ross makes some pretty bad relationship choices.  Marrying a lesbian.  Saying the wrong name at the altar.  Drunkenly marrying Rachel in Vegas.  But on the other hand…at least he’s not afraid of commitment?

10) The Prom Video

LEST WE FORGET: Ross put on a tux, grabbed flowers out of a vase, and was FULLY prepared to take Rachel to the prom when it seemed her date had bailed.

Because he’s her lobster.

What about you, dear readers?  Do you LOVE Ross or do you LOATHE him?

And if you DO loathe him…well…we can’t be friends, so keep you mouth shut.

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34 thoughts on “In Appreciation of Ross Geller

  1. Literally no one else could make a sad-sack “hi” so hilarious, and anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong, and I cosign everything about this post.

    • HeadOverFeels says:

      “This guys says hello, I wanna kill myself.”

      Ross is everything. And one time I saw David Schwimmer at a play and he smiled at me and I felt like he could see straight into my Friends-obsessed soul. –S

  2. Margaret says:

    I LOVED Ross for the first few seasons. Thought he made a great, quirky, relatable, romantic lead. I started to get frustrated with Ross (and really the whole show) around season 8 when I felt like everyone became a complete caricature of themselves. I think it’s because I loved Ross so much, that his descent into idiocy hit me worse than say Joey. I’m ashamed to admit I still haven’t watched all of the 10th season. I’ve caught bits and pieces in reruns, but was so annoyed by the end of 9, never took the time to jump in and watch the whole thing. Is it worth it?

    • HeadOverFeels says:

      I think it is! And I DO agree with you to an extent…such is the problem with a long running show!

  3. Ross is a character I love and also hate. He delivers some of the biggest laughs, but most of them are, because he’s such a dork. Oh my, that episode with the keyboard and his “music” I cried tears from laughing so hard, But those things that make me laugh at him also make me dislike him. He works well with the dynamic of the group and adds a lot to them as a whole, but I doubt I would watch a show just about him … like something showing him and Rachel married w/ kids. Nope that would be insufferable.

    • HeadOverFeels says:

      Agreed. The REASON Friends worked was because it was the six of them and their dynamic. One does not work without the other five. Hence the failure of Joey. -K

    • Rachel B. says:

      I would TOTALLY watch a series about Ross & Rachel’s married life, I’m that hardcore of a shipper for those two. Wouldn’t be insufferable to me at ALL, lol. In fact, I imagine it’d be quite entertaining as long as they kept the comedic banter between them intact.

      At the same time, though, I agree with Kim – One “Friend” doesn’t work without the other five. It’s not like Boy Meets World where you can transition into Girl Meets World with ease because Cory & Topanga were the only real leads and people want to know what they’re up to these days. The Friends dynamic just doesn’t work if there’s an ingredient missing. Unless they did a Friends reunion showing where EACH member of the group was at in their lives now, a spin-off would simply fall apart. There’s also the fact that the whole married life thing kind of leaves very little room for “free time” with friends, hence that whole dynamic would have to change.

  4. Ross is completely adorable. I love that guy. To this post I would add the FAJITAS thing and the women’s blouse he wore once and it would be perfection. He is hilarious at flirting and SO passionate about his work! I mean who DOESN’T like talking to someone who absolutely loves doing what he does?

    “Why is your family scottish?” “Why is your family ROSS?!”
    The bagpipes is one of the things that makes me laugh to actual tears when I watch it.
    Ross also invented dubstep:

    • HeadOverFeels says:

      I love how Jen Aniston is also BLATANTLY breaking character in that scene, especially once Lisa starts singing along! -K

  5. Jennifer Murray says:

    This could not have been posted at a more perfect time. Just today, I went to a mystic tan place for the first time. As the girl was telling me what to do, all I could think about was Ross getting spray tanned. Which, in turn, made me think of the teeth whitening and the leather pants, and I was laughing uncontrollably. Since I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to listen to her instructions, I ended up paying $15 more for the girl to airbrush the tan on.

    Ross is awesome – and David Schwimmer is a comedic genius!!!

  6. KatR says:

    My favorite Ross moment – Emma was just born, and Rachel is a very overprotective new mom. Ross and Rachel get locked out of the apartment, and David Schwimmer delivers this totally epic monologue about the destruction surely happening inside, including (if I’m remembering correctly) a flood, a fire, and an eagle.

  7. jacob says:

    Your posts shows how good David Schwimmer as an actor. They all are equally incredible actors. The post also shows that Ross is a funny charector( credit to David Schwimmer).
    For me Ross is the last one to pick from the six of them to be my friend.

    The charector of Ross is not a bad guy but he is just a normal guy with a lots of bad qualities.

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