Posted by Kim
Well after doing our Ross and Phoebe appreciation posts, one thing became clear. We HAD to give all six of our favorite friends their moments in the sun. Let’s give Joseph Francis Tribbiani some love today, shall we?
To put things in Freudian terms (“All you want is a dinkle!!”), Joey represents the Id of the group. Joey is driven by his basest desires (namely food and sex. He just wants girls on bread!) and also tends to blurt our whatever is on his mind at the exact moment he is thinking it (“I WANT TO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”) but that is all part of his charm. Joey could have easily been a caricature of a dumb ladies man, but in the hands of Matt LeBlanc…yes, he was a dumb ladies man. But he was also goofy, sweet, strangely wise, and the best friend a person could ask for. There is not a malicious bone in Joey Tribbiani’s body. Despite being a ladies man, he actually respects women. Think about it. With as many women as Joey hooked up with, he never came off as mean or coniving…he was just Joey. Even when he threw a girl’s wooden leg in the fire it wasn’t done in a cruel manner! Joey is the first one to come to the defense of all his female friends whether it is when Mr. Traeger yells at Rachel or when he proposes to Phoebe when he thinks she is pregnant and alone. He’s nothing short of a stand-up guy when it really comes down to it! Joey is definitely someone I would want in my corner.
There are millions of reasons you should love Joey Tribbiani…but for the sake of (moderate) brevity, let’s spotlight ten of them…
1) “How You Doin’?”
Ladies and Gentlemen, the world’s GREATEST pick-up line. Simple and to the point.
Also, your response to “How you doin’?” is a good way to measure how drunk you are…
“Ross!! Don’t let her drink anymore!”
2) His Relationship with Food.
One time my sister and I went to my favorite Mexican place in Nashville, where the queso is basically liquid crack it’s so delicious and addictive. As we were waiting to place our order, she turned to me and asked “Wanna share a queso?’ My response? “KIMMIE DOESN’T SHARE QUESO!!”
Thank you, Joey.
Monica: Anyway, it just doesn’t seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? It’s a lot of work.
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Monica: All right fine! If it means that much to you! But just—there’s gonna be a ton left over.
Joey: No there won’t! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Monica: All right, you’re telling me you can eat an entire turkey in just one sitting?
Joey: That’s right! ‘Cause I’m a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we don’t read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Joey Tribbiani is the reason that every Thanksgiving morning as I put on my stretchy pants I say, “These are my Thanksgiving pants!!”
Joey’s not a hard man to please. Just give him sandwiches. Or an English Trifle mixed with Shepherd’s Pie. Or just plain old jam. Or the true love of his life (aside from Chandler)…Pizza.
Our Friends trivia team is called “The Joey Special” and every time they say our name, we shout “TWO PIZZAS!” at the host.
3) His Love Affair with Chandler.
Forget Ross and Rachel. Forget Monica and Chandler. The true OTP of Friends is Joey and Chandler. J-Man and Channy (who CALLS them that??) are one of the ultimate friendships in all of television history. From their shared love of Baywatch and Yasmin Bleeth (“Run, Yasmin! Run!”) to being Bracelet Buddies (“That’s what they’ll call us!”) to raising a chick and a duck together, Joey and Chandler are soul mates. They have their own secret mumble language (“PUT JOEY ON THE PHONE”) and they also know exactly how to push each other’s buttons (“I’m Chandler! Could I BE wearing any more clothes?”), which is something that only the closest friends can do.
And let’s face it…when Joey moved out in season two, it was sadder than Ross and Rachel splitting up because of the list.
The wonderful thing about Joey and Chandler’s relationship is the sense of give and take. Early in the series, when Joey is a struggling actor trying to make ends meet, Chandler supports him. And then later on, when Chandler is out of work and Joey’s doing well on Days of Our Lives, Joey repays the favor. The only time you see the money as a bone of contention is in “The One with Five Steaks and an Eggplant” and even then it is really an issue within the whole group. You never see either of them holding the money issue over the other’s head in a resentful way, which is a sign of a true and deep friendship.
In my head canon, Joey now comes out to Chandler and Monica’s place on the weekends. He stays in his Joey room. He plays with Jack and Erica. He cleans out Monica’s refrigerator and she pretends to get mad about it. He and Chandler kick back with some beer in their matching recliners (that Monica lets them have in his study) and watch Baywatch repeats. And they all lived happily ever after.
Because we are ALL agreed that Joey never happened, RIGHT??
4) Hugsy, His Bedtime Penguin Pal
Only Joey can make a stuffed penguin seem manly. Sometimes we all just need a friend to cuddle.
(Honorable mention goes out to Alicia May Emory, Joey’s Cabbage Patch Kid.)