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In Appreciation of Rachel Green

September 1, 2013 by HeadOverFeels

Friends Rachel Make Decisions
Posted by Sage

Recently, my dad interrupted one of my The-Big-Bang-Theory-doesn’t-deserve-all-this-Emmy-attention rants by arguing that the Friends are just as emotionally staid as Sheldon and company. That statement is patently false; and in defense of my beloved show, Rachel is Exhibit A. From spoiled Long Island rich girl to fashion executive and single mom, it’s she who has the widest, series-long character arc.

The inciting incident of the whole show just happens to be the disheveled bride’s arrival at Central Perk (“I just want to be married again…” “…And I just want a million dollars!”). It’s through Rachel that we’re introduced to the group of coffee-loving, hardly-working twenty-somethings who would become the West Village Six.

And, like the rest of the six, the Rachel we grew to love over the course of nine seasons was hardly the archetype (here: recovering prom queen) we met in season one. While the rest of the Friends had a laser-focused want or two in those initial years, whether it was job or relationship related, Rachel’s goal was just to figure out what it was that she was even looking for. (“Ahh, the lesser known I Don’t Have a Dream Speech.”) Her openness and vulnerability is what softened her. Rachel was much more savvy and adaptable than she gave herself credit for, and Jennifer Aniston’s superb comic timing brought out her sarcastic wit (“Oh, there he is: the father of my child, the porn king of the West Village.”) Sure, she made some mistakes along the way. She wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle; 18 pages IS a lot to ask someone to read in the middle of the night (front AND back); and her decision to spend $1,000 on Mrs. Whiskerson was a little rash. (“Every time this cat hisses at me, I know it’s saying ‘Racheeel.'”) She was sexy, but, like everyone ever, occasionally became a bumbling mess in front of the object of her desire. Much of her screen time was spent will-they or won-they-ing with Ross, and theirs is one of the ships that’s practically defined that term for American audiences. But you also couldn’t go wrong by combining Rachel with any other Friend. See for evidence: Rachel teaching Joey how to sail on the Mr. Beaumont; Phoebe and Rachel running together in the park, each in their own style; Monica and Rachel switching places on their double date with two dreamy and slightly familiar-looking doctors (“I use my breasts to get other people’s attention!” “Hey, we BOTH do that.”), and Rachel attempting to get Chandler un-handcuffed from her boss’s desk.

And so, our Friends character appreciation series continues with Rachel Karen Green. Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?

1) She’s gonna make it after all.

Friends Rachel You're A Shoe

For those of us who have done this in the real world, we know that striking out on one’s own in the big city actually looks more like renting out a hovel at the farthest reaches of the least-trendy borough and STILL calling one’s parents twice a month for money than an 800-sq-ft room in Monica’s purple apartment. But for Rachel Green of the Long Island Greens, cutting one credit card in half is twice as anxiety-inducing as all that. But surely, whether you’re a shoe or a hat, we can all agree that it’s really unfair how much money that “FICA guy” takes out of our paychecks.

In the later seasons, it was easy to forget that the Bloomingdale’s buyer and Ralph Lauren merchandising manager was once the most forgetful (but cutest!) waitress at Central Park. But then sisters Amy (Christina Applegate) and Jill (Reese Witherspoon) would show up to remind us and Rachel of the life she probably would have ended up living if she had become Dr. Mrs. Barry Farber, D.D.S. (“You decorated dad’s office and now you’re a decorator? You know what? I went to the zoo yesterday and now I’m a koala bear.”)

Friends Rachel Assistant Buyer

It was a blow to feminism when Rachel gave up an exciting job with Louis Vuitton in Paris to stay in New York and play house with Ross. (Yes, you read my Joey/Rachel shipper shade correctly.) My head canon is that turning down that gig made her an even more coveted get for fashion head hunters and she ended up running shit at a New York-based line. Not bad for the cheerleader who once went out with Wallas Pinser just so he’d take her SATs.

2) Her life partnership with Monica.

Friends Monica Rachel Emergency Call

Rachel has no plan when she escapes to the city except to find and reconnect with her high school best friend, Monica Gellar. She’s having an identity crisis and the only person she can count on to get her through it is someone she hasn’t even spoken to in years. That’s how hard they BFF, you guys. None of Rachel’s richie-rich shopping buddies ever came close to taking Monica’s place. You know how you know which popular girl actually has a soul? Find the one with a fat best friend.

Monica Rachel College Party

Before Rachel arrived, Monica’s city family consisted of Phoebe, who’s often on a wavelength that’s impossible to access, and a bunch of boys, who ate all her food and made fun of her boyfriends. When Rachel came back into her life, Monica got a sister (she IS the daughter Judy never had) – someone to write messages for her on the mirror, cover her with a blanket when she falls asleep on the couch, and fight with over Jean Claude Van Damme. Rachel could also be counted on for some much needed real talk, whether in regards to questionable dating decisions (“It’s like inviting a Greek tragedy over for dinner!”) or kitchen fascism (“No, Mon. YOU want to put the marshmallows in concentric circles. I want to do this.”) According to Joey (sorry), Ross and Rachel’s marriage is canon, and Monica and Rachel are now sisters for realsies. So the show’s finale was the end of one era and the start of a new one.

Friends Monica Rachel End of an Era

3) Her powers of seduction.

Friends Rachel Joshua CherryFriends Rachel Joshua Cherry 2

Jen Aniston doesn’t get the credit she deserves for her aptitude for physical comedy. And it didn’t get much better than in Rachel’s ill-fated pursuit of client/crush Joshua (JOSH-UA) in Season 4. We all have that person who we just can’t help but make idiots of ourselves in front of, every single time we’re in their presence. Rachel’s first move on Joshua results in him taking his nephew to a Knicks game instead of her, and from there, the downward spiral is steep and fast. She unpacks every trick in her arsenal, even reaching back to her high school moves and pulling – most sadly and hilariously – her cheerleading uniform out of mothballs.

Friends Rachel Joshua Knee kiss

We’ve all been there, Rach. Well, maybe not all the way down there, but close.

4) She’s a fangirl.

Friends Rachel Joey Slap

What could be better for a soap opera super fan than waking up to Jessica Lockwood in your apartment (“MONICA!!!”) or being a plus one to the Soapies? Gal Pal Rachel Green is the only Friend who expresses the correct amount of excitement over having access to a celebrity like Joey Tribbiani. Basically, if I had to pick one of the six to eat ice cream and marathon Scandal with me, it would be her.

5) She’s her own Windkeeper.

Friends Rachel Never Ever Hurt Me

Rachel Green would NEVER let anyone wash his feet in her pool of inner power, even Ross.

“The One With the Morning After”, the season 3 episode where Ross and Rachel have a long and painful breakup, is emotional and raw for a primetime sitcom. It had to be. After the lengths the showrunners went through to convince us that they were soulmates, whatever was going to break these two apart had to be bad. I’ve always been on Rachel’s side in the “we were on a break” debate (“Then you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!”), and, as much as these 22 minutes of television broke my teen heart, I was always proud of her for standing up for herself. She chooses Ross because she’s confident that he’s a good guy. A NICE guy. That illusion crumbles with the copy girl situation, and the cracks were already showing before that in his petty jealousy of Mark and, simultaneously, Rachel’s happiness with her new job. (Ross really was the worst sometimes.) It was at that line in the gif above – “I used to think of you as somebody who would never, ever hurt me.” – when I knew that the episode wasn’t going to end with them tearfully getting back together. “This can’t be it,” Ross says. And Rachel, who’s not letting anyone – not even someone she loves – steal her wind says, “Then how come it is?”

6) She’s a fashion icon.

Friends Rachel Back Hurt Your Knife

YES I HAD A RACHEL AND I LOOKED FABULOUS. It went especially well with braces and flannel shirts from the Sears boys department.

Rachel sartorial influence didn’t stop at launching a worldwide hair phenomenon. She made everything look good, from baby tees to overalls to a dress that can only be described as Little Bo Peep Goes To the Prom (“I’m sorry. We don’t have your sheep.”)

7) Her coping strategies

Friends Rachel Closure

“I THINK there was a restaurant? I KNOW there was wine.”

You know what they say: The best way to get over someone is to get underrrrr….a giant bottle of Cab Sav.

Friends Rachel More Alcohold

When life deals Rachel Green an uncomfortable hand, she tackles it like a champ – in a haze of alcohol. Getting drunk and forgetting about it is a solid response to most problems, including your crush taking the next step with his cute, brilliant girlfriend and overcoming your self-consciousness about your permanent marker mustache.

Friends Rachel Hello Vegas

“We would like some more beers.”

8) Her maternal instincts

Friends Rachel Pregnant Belly

The mystery of the positive pregnancy test storyline has been done, but the trope felt fresh when Phoebe lied to Rachel about the result to test her feelings about having a baby. (“Well, that’s a risky little game!”) Rachel got TiVo (“That’s slang for pregnant.”) while she was single and was happy about it. And why not, with the support system she had in place? Though they weren’t together, dad Ross was there for the important stuff, like helping to point out the baby on the sonogram monitor.

Friends Rachel Sonogram

Sure, they argued over names, but little baby Ruth or Sandrine was lucky to have two parents who were anxiously awaiting her arrival. Still, Rachel wore the pants in this situation, and Ross’s role was simply to support her every decision.

Friends Rachel No Uterus

Like any new parent, Rachel spent her pregnancy doing research, preparing herself, and asking the tough questions.

Friends Rachel Beer Bong

And suddenly, the same girl who had no idea how to hold little Ben (“It’s a baby, not a bomb!”) was an overprotective mama bear who would die trying to protect her child from the dangers of this world. Dangers like the park (“Like I said, I was thinking of taking Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire.”) and the stove (“You haven’t cooked since 1996.”)

Friends Baby Got Back

Ultimately, Rachel had to learn – like all moms must – to let go and pick her battles. And that there’s just nothing wrong with a baby liking big butts. That beautiful little weirdo.

9) Messing with People, But Especially Ross

Friends Rachel Fake Accent

In the aftermath of “we were on a break,” Rachel channeled her anger into fucking with Ross at every opportunity. Once the melodrama of their get together and break up died down, the show upped Ross’s ridiculousness and overconfidence, giving Rachel plenty of opportunity to mock. (“Now that you’re on your own, you’re free to look as stupid as you like.”) And, in the best instances, to scream like a little girl. (“Say we are unagi!”)

Rachel Friends Salmon Skin Roll

10) She’s Off In Rachel Land, Doing Her Rachel Thing

Friends Brad Pitt Hair Flip

Typical.

Check out our Joey, Phoebe, and Ross appreciation posts and look out for Monica and Chandler to complete the set soon. In the meantime, leave YOUR favorite Rach moments in the comments!


29 Comments »

  1. Kelly says:

    I love everything about Rachel’s enthusiasm in The One with the Embryos. (“Throw in the duck too…he gets the other one all riled up.”) Even the face she makes at the coin toss is perfect.

    Also, “I JUST HOPE THEY HAVE HIS OLD HAIRLINE AND YOUR OLD NOSE.”

  2. B says:

    Rachel is the character I’ve grown to appreciate so much more over the years. So many good moments, but hands down, my favorite has to be “I think I’ll catch up on my correspondence…” (Plus her hair color is amazing in that episode, is it not?)

  3. […] spoke about this at length in her Rachel Appreciation Post and I have to reiterate it here: the way Rachel stands up for herself here is astounding.  The […]

  4. […] wrote at length in my Rachel Appreciation post about my affinity for Drunk Rachel Green. And this episode is perhaps her most shining moment. […]

  5. Rachel (seriously, actual name lol) says:

    OK, I just have to say (bear with me here, I am sharing my feels, after all)… In defense of Ross: As much as I LOVE Rachel – as hard as I ship RnR – and for as stupid and annoying of a line it was sometimes – They WERE on a break.

    Look, I’ll be the first to admit that Ross was a stupid idiot in that situation, because his actions were nothing short of douchebaggery. However, in Ross’s defense, Rachel was JUST as stupid and idiotic in her behavior toward him BEFORE he got drunk and slept with another woman. Here’s what I said recently in a post after re-watching that episode again after having gone several years without seeing it, and subsequently bawling my eyes out:

    “What woman tells her sweet, adorable (yet manly) boyfriend that she wants to “take a break” on their ONE YEAR anniversary, of all days, then, rather than calling over one of her girl friends to talk about it with one of THEM, decides it’d be a good idea to invite (or accept an invite from) the ONE GUY with whom she knows her boyfriend has a problem with, over to her place and says to him “I told him I wanted to take a break – I don’t want to take a break!” ? … Crazy woman Rachel Green, that’s who!”

    While it broke my heart that Ross did what he did, having already sworn his love to Rachel Green, I just think it’s a little ridiculous, especially given all the time that’s passed, that Ross is still the one who seems to get all the hate from the shippers.

    I mean, that moment that Rachel walks through the door and says she’s sorry about earlier (the work-picnic disaster), and Ross says “Hey I get it, you were just stressed” (which she was), and Rachel’s response was “I was going to give YOU the chance to apologize to ME.”, it drove me absolutely crazy! … Because, ugh! The level of stupidity she displayed at times in their relationship when her and Ross were still dating was not any worse than Ross’s stupidity levels (the jealousy stuff with Marc, getting drunk and wallowing in his misery the minute he thought Rachel had broken things off, etc.).

    “You slept with someone 3 hours after breaking up. Bullets have left guns slower!” – It was lines in episodes like this, TOW The Tiny T-Shirt, and the episode itself, that made me realize just how truly torn I was over the break-up episode, amazing and game-changing as it was for these two the rest of the series.

    As a RnR shipper, re-watching the series again now, the writing for these two beauties who I still believe WERE/ARE perfect for each other, btw…the way the writing went with the on again, off again, I’m-in-love-with-her-but-she’s-not-in-love-with-me and vice versa crap that went on EVERY season after 3 as a way to create drama between these two, just frustrates me the more and more I think about how they ruined such a beautiful thing. 1. Because the break-up made the sweet, nice and loving boyfriend out to be the bad guy (which, if we’re being honest, was a little cliche) – Ross: “I don’t cheat, that’s not me. I’m not Joey.” – and 2.) It constantly made Rachel look like a pathetic sap when they had her say things like “Yeah. I don’t know. Maybe!” when Ross, her ex-boyfriend who she still hadn’t forgiven for cheating on her, asked if she wanted to get back together (which was then followed by an 18 page letter “front AND back” demanding Ross take FULL responsibilty for their break-up – something he had a right to be mad at, considering “it took TWO people to break up this relationship” – don’t you just hate it when Ross is right and you don’t want him to be?)

    Mostly, though, it just insulted my intelligence as a loyal viewer, one who would’ve liked to see their relationship play out (break-up n’ all) and blossom into something that showed signs of respect and admiration for one another as their friendship grew closer, without all the melodrama in between. Because, in my opinion, Ross WAS her lobster, the writers made a mistake in not being consistent and revisiting that phrase again later in the series, and the two of them should have had another kid, a boy, moved to Scarsdale and begin complaining about the taxes, and had the perfect wedding that every other couple had that Ross & Rach were robbed of.

    Unfortunately for viewers like me though, their break-up became a running joke on the show rather than an opportunity for character growth, and it took until the finale, 7 years after their relationship had ended, for Ross & Rachel to grow up and finally admit how everyone else knew they felt about each other since season 2.

    (Sorry for the uber long comment btw – clearly I have very strong feels about this, lol! Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on the matter, even if I didn’t succeed in giving you a different perspective. :))

    • HeadOverFeels says:

      My problem with it, as I’m currently rewatching, is the picnic incident was the last in a LONG LINE of incidents of Ross not being able to handle Rachel’s success at her new job and how that changed her life. YES it sucks that a work emergency happens on their anniversary. It’s not like Rachel planned that. And Ross would not LISTEN TO HER when she was like I can’t do anything tonight so he showed up at her place of business, in the middle of a crisis, made noise, got in the way, and SET FIRE TO THINGS. Of COURSE he owed Rachel an apology. And the fact he didn’t see that was maddening. This is after all the sending gifts and barbershop quartets and stuff to her office to as she said it (and it’s true) “pee all over her” in front of Mark.

      And re: the night of the break. Mark called HER and inserted himself into the situation and was like “I’m bringing Chinese food” before she could stop it. Should she still have not let him in the house? Probably yes. But she also sent him on his way the moment things got weird because she didn’t want it to jeopardize her relationship with Ross. Ross on the other hand slept with someone immediately. Potato, potahto as to the break-up semantics, I would have had the same reaction to my boyfriend sleeping with someone immediately.

      All of this is still not to mention the way Ross often treated Rachel in the relationship or when they were in the process of getting together the first time. “The list” is HORRIBLE. Who actually does that?

      Yes they played their break-up for laughs for the rest of the series and the off/on got tiring but what has struck me about Ross and Rachel as the series has aged is that RACHEL is the one who always had to compromise to be with Ross. He NEVER did. Which makes him the worst. And that’s coming from someone who wrote the In Appreciation of Ross post. -Kim

      (Thank YOU for the long comment by the way.)

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