Get Your Kicks – Supernatural Recap

Supernatural Sam Suit

Posted by Sarah and Dawn

Sarah: This is the one about the racist ghosts, right? I predict I will find some very problematic tropes in this episode. Also, I am guessing that they knew from the get that they were going to call episode 13 “666” because it is Supernatural, tropes are tropes.

ANYWHO. I am ready to be distracted, even if it is by an episode which I predict will make me feel tremendously unimpressed by its ham-handed handling of racism in America as sort of solved in 45 minutes by two very traditionally handsome white men.

Woah. Maybe this episode should watch out. I’m not feeling very friendly, even to the hot and do-gooding brothers Winchester.

Dawn: This week I had the flu. In Florida. In August. Also I have two large dogs, and I work for myself. So basically, sick days? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, it was not pleasant. This is the first day all week that I have been upright for more than ten minutes, and I am drowning in deadlines. But I am here for you, SPN fans. Yes, yes, I am. And since I saw this ep long before the current atrocities were happening, I am not as worried as Sarah. Also, Dean with a girl. The ONLY girl they ever hooked him up with that I actually liked. Let’s get on the road.

Also to celebrate Saturday, August 24, and the premiere of the new season of Doctor Who, it’s all Doctor gifs, all the time. Except for when it’s SPN. So…

Doctor Who 11 Allonsy

Season 1, Episode 13: Route 666
Written by: Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner

The Story So Far: The recap is still happening – only now it tells us that Sammy has “gotta find Dad” because it’s all he can think about. “We KNOW,” says everyone who has been watching episodes 1-12. Sammy is a little obsessive.

Chyron Person informs us that we’re in Cape Girardeau, MO. Sarah has decided that we are going to call it Gerard Depardieu for the rest of this recap because she feels like it, and Dawn is so punchy from being sick that she considers this to be hysterically funny and possibly Sarah;s best idea ever. Also, hey, remember Gerard Depardieu? He turned out to be way problematic.

Sarah: I also need to say that right now recapping an episode about racism that takes place in suburban/rural Missouri feels pretty loaded given recent events.

Dawn: I took way too many historical criticism classes in college to compare a TV show that originally aired in 2006 to recent events, and also the world is a fucking awful place and I refuse to let it take my boys from me.

It’s about to feel way more loaded now that we’re watching a black man driving his car down a street deserted…aside from a GIANT FREAKING SEMI truck whose presence makes our Deadshirt!Driver’s radio short out, and then bears down on his car, all the while gunning its engine. The horrible truck speeds and speeds, surprising Deadshirt!Driver, who tries to get away (though we already know he won’t, because this is the teaser). Suddenly, just as quickly as it appeared, the evil truck of doom is gone and D!D’s radio returns to normal. He gets just enough time to take a relieved breath or three before the truck reappears — this time, stopped dead in the middle of the road and facing him. D!D makes a three-point turn and prepares to get the hell out of there when the truck takes after him again. This time, it hits his car repeatedly and runs him off the road before vanishing mysteriously. The car is totaled and its occupant most assuredly deceased.

Cut to Sam and Dean at a gas station. Sam thinks he found a quicker route through PA – “around that construction.” Dean informs him that they’re no longer headed for the freedom state, as an old friend of his has called – her father was killed the night before, and she thinks “it might be our kind of thing.” She never, ever, never would have called if she didn’t need the brothers, Dean informs Sam. So they need to head to her immediately.

Doctor Who Hmmm

Right, Ten? We’re certainly intrigued. So is Sam. He’s also a little bit tickled — not not by the destination, but by the revelation that his gruff big brother managed to date a real live human person for more than one night. But gruff Dean is gruff and he is not a in a sharing mood because SPN Life Lesson #3 is very clear on this, Sammy, and you should know how your brother feels about that.

Doctor Who Eyeroll

Nine, we feel you. But Dean is Dean, bless him. “Am I speaking a language you’re not getting here?” he asks, clearly perturbed that they are having any sort of conversation involving the mere possibility that he has feelings.

Then Sam realizes that the reason she knows what the brothers do for a living is that Dean told her, meaning he broke big family rule numero Uno – the one he never broke while dating Jessica.

Sam has gone from zero to furious in a total of about five seconds. The Bitchface is so epic it should probably have gotten its own credit. (Sadly we could not find a gif of the Bitchface form this actual ep, but here’s one that’s damn close.)

Supernatural Sam Bitchface

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“Please Just See Me.” – Doctor Who Recap

Posted by Kim

Welcome to a new era of Doctor Who, readers!  It’s been a long wait for new episodes since the (wretched) Christmas special and the goodbye to the Raggedy Doctor, Matt Smith.  It’s all about Peter Capaldi’s Twelfth Doctor (sorry not sorry, Steven Moffat, your retconning is not going to make me change how I refer to the Doctors) now.  Sage and I got to go to the Doctor Who World tour when it stopped at the Ziegfeld Theatre (follow us on Instagram at headoverfeelsdotcom to see all of our adventures from that night) and THEN we were able to attend the live Pre and Post Show hosted by Chris Hardwick, so we’ve been all Capaldi all the time for the past few weeks, and I’ve loved it.  “Deep Breath” made me excited about Doctor Who again.  Not that I would ever abandon the fandom (the conventions alone are worth it) but “The Time of the Doctor” left a really bad taste in my mouth.  So I found this episode to be the best kind of palate cleanser.

We also had the pleasure this week of guest-starring on the Mutter’s Spiral podcast with our friends Will and John.  We met them the first night of Gally 2014 and are delighted that they found us worthy of joining them on a deep dive into the Series 8 premiere.  We discuss the episode for 2 hours, so this recap is going to be a little different in that I’m just going to discuss my episode highlights.  So listen to the podcast if that’s your thing and the recap will return to a more traditional form with episode 2.  Let’s get right into my favorite things about “Deep Breath” then, shall we?

Peter Capaldi IS The Doctor

I was completely and totally sold on Peter Capaldi from his very first “SHUSH”.  I had expected that Capaldi’s Doctor would be a lot less cuddly than Matt Smith (though Peter made some WONDERFUL homages to Matt’s physicality in the opening scene) but I had no idea how much I would instantly love the prickly Twelfth Doctor.  He’s grumpy (it’s okay though because he’s Scottish), he’s WAY less tolerant of Human Beings and their slower minds, he’s got attack eyebrows, and he’s the kind of Doctor who would bond with a dinosaur before his own companion.  There’s nothing else to say really else to say about how wonderful he is, so I’m just going to gif-spam you a little bit.

We’ve subtitled this one “HEY LOOK AT MY DICK!” and we’re not sorry.

10/10 would bang, you guys.

The Evolution of Clara Oswald

I LOVED Oswin Oswald in “Asylum of the Daleks” and Governess Clara in “The Snowmen”, but I must confess I’ve always had a bit of an issue with “Clara Prime”, as I call her.  This is nothing against Jenna Coleman, who is a WONDERFUL actress with fantastic comic timing and the ability to cry beautifully at the drop of a hat.  I just felt the WRITING of Clara has not served Jenna well in the past, reducing her to a cute and quippy sidekick or a plot device/mystery for The Doctor instead of a fully rounded character.  Sure, she has had some lovely moments but as a whole, I found the character to be a bit of a cipher.  She was WONDERFUL in “The Day of The Doctor” so I had a lot of hope that now that her “mystery” had been figured out that we would finally get to know HER.  Those hopes were dashed when she was reduced to an overly weepy/clingy mess in “The Time of the Doctor” who just needed the Doctor to pretend to be her boyfriend.  I never felt her devotion to the Doctor was earned as we spent so much time trying to figure her out, so her reactions and desperation to stay with the Doctor didn’t ring true to me at all.  I was delighted at the fact that as “Deep Breath” progressed I felt like finally…FINALLY we were seeing Clara as a fleshed out character for the first time.  Even better than that…she was a fleshed out character who openly admitted she had a penchant for Older Men, had Slash fic in her subconscious, and was a Type-A Control Freak.  She was a fleshed out character who was clever and brave and devoted.  Hello, Clara Oswald.  It’s nice to meet you at last.

“I am not sure who you think you’re talking to right now, Madame Vastra, but I have never had the slightest interest in pretty young men. And for the record if there was anybody who could flirt with a mountain range she’s probably standing in front of you right now! Just because my pretty face has turned your head do not assume I am so easily distracted.”

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Head Over Feels Live Blogs the 2014 Emmys

Posted by Kim and Sage


Join us here in this space circa 6:30 (neither of our jobs recognize the Emmys as a National Holiday, so we’ll be racing home for the Red Carpet) for all the ridiculata, eye-rolls, and (we hope) surprises of the 2014 Emmy Awards.  Will Matthew McConaughey defeat Bryan Cranston?  Will Amy Poehler ever claim the Emmy that is rightfully hers?  Will Orange Is The New Black dethrone Modern Family and score a massive coup for Netflix?  And most importantly, will we get a cameo from Stefon in Host Seth Myers’ opening number?  Tune in to find out!

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Fan Video Friday – “All This Time”

Posted by Kim

Welcome to another installment of Fan Video Friday, where we seek to fulfill all your procrastination needs on a lazy Summer day at the office.  This week we’re celebrating One Republic’s “All This Time”.  The theme song for all ships that took the long way around to find each other, I dare you not to come down with a strong case of the feels…especially with the way the song builds.  The bridge is the stuff montages are meant for.

Danny and Mindy – The Mindy Project

The way Danny gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazes at her though.  You’re not fooling ANYONE, Castellano.

Ron and Hermione – Harry Potter

First of all, this gives me all the feels because you watch Emma and Rupert grow up in this video and it’s amazing.  You know where we stand on the Ron and Hermione ship.  Consider this video our closing statement.

Josh and Donna – The West Wing

The slowest of every slow burning OTP in all existence.  This video wins for starting with Josh and Donna meeting and tracking their love story allllllllllllllllllllll the way to the end.

Sawyer and Juliet – Lost

The couple on Lost that we never saw coming until it happened and then we were like “OF COURSE THEY BELONG TOGETHER.”

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Well, I Guess It Would Be Nice If I Could Touch Your Body – Supernatural Recap

Supernatural Dean Half Smile

Posted by Sarah and Dawn

Sarah: Whelp. Here we are. It’s Tuesday night and I have just worked about 12 hours at 3 different jobs (yay, the future, right?). I, for once, am fully ready to have the bejeesus scared out of me. Don’t know why, not gonna question. All I know is this episode is called “Faith.” Ahem.

George Michael Faith
Also it stars a post-Darla Julie Benz.

Wreak havok
On days like today, Darla is fully my copilot. Havoc, ahoy!

Dawn: I have been living with a broken air conditioner for over a week now. In Florida. In August. So my faith in anything not strong at the moment. Can those darling Winchester boys help me out? Christ, I hope so. Though I am a little nervous that Dean might take off his shirt again, because it’s already damn hot in here. Also while Sarah knows Ms. Benz as Darla, I know her as Mrs. Dexter. Also she is blonde. I am not holding out hope for her surviving the episode. But then this ep was written by the Misses Gamble and Tucker, and they have been known to save a blonde. Let’s see how it goes.

Season 1, Episode 12: Faith
Written by: Sera Gamble and Raelle Tucker

The Story So Far: We get the basic history, including a lot of mentions of Dad. But not a single flame! Again! Who does a fangirl have to service to get some goddamn flames up in this piece?

Supernatural Crowley

(Don’t worry if you don’t know who that is. You will, and then you will totally laugh at that gif. Trust us.)

Anyway. We open on those handsome Winchester Boys prepping for battle. Dean spouts some mumbo-jumbo while digging around in Baby’s trunk, telling Sam, “I want this Rawhead extra freakin’ crispy!” Ew. But ok. And they only get one shot, so make it count, Sammy.

Life and death. Sounds like a plan.

The boy pull out their best cop-movie “cover me” moves and descend into the ickiest basement, where they open a cabinet and find two adorable dirty and terrified extras from a touring production of Mary Poppins.

Mary Poppins Dick Van Dyke

Our boys help the kids make a run for it but something grabs Sam’s leg! What is it? Dean fires a taser and, from the really angry noises, scores at least an direct hit. He yells for Sam to get the kids out of here, and the younger Winchester wisely listens to his big brother. But not before tossing his own taser to Dean, just in case.

A fairly gross-yet-generic monster of the week corners Dean, who goes down in a puddle. A PUDDLE, DEAN. MADE OF WATER. WHEN YOU HAVE A TASER. MADE OF ELECTRICITY. But Dean never paid attention in science class and also there is a monster, so he tases away. He kills the creature, but because he is LAYING IN A PUDDLE GODDAMN IT DEAN, the rules of superconductivity bite him right in the ass. So our Dean is zapped almost to death along with the rawhead. Sam, who has rushed back down the stairs, is understandably upset at finding his unconscious brother lying in said puddle. Because Sam paid attention in science class.

Dawn: Let that be a lesson to you, boys and girls. Pay attention in school.

Neil Degrasse Tyson Science

We cut to a hospital, where an apologetic nurse is asking Sam — sorry, we mean Mr. Birkowitz — for Dean’s insurance. Also, there are cops waiting. Is this an ep of The Twilight Zone? Cops are being kind and thankful to Sam, who’s making that sad puppy face the entire world just can’t get enough of. Sam excuses himself from Helpful Cops 1 and 2 in order to talk to the ER doc. The doctor very apologetically explains the facts: Dean’s heart is so damaged that he is going to die. Sam, being Sam, is like, nope. There has to be some kind of treatment. Kind Doctor, who clearly does not know who he is dealing with, says no, because he “can’t work miracles.” The editors cut rapidly from a talking heads two shot into a closeup, the better to see those sweet Sammy eyes as they start to well up. He heads for Dean’s room. He is very Sad Panda.

Sad Panda

Sarah: I get it. This episode isn’t scary. It’s depressing. Okie doke.

But we don’t have long to relish our lip wobble, because Dean is here with snark to save the day. “Have you ever actually watched daytime TV? It’s terrible.” That’s our boy — always bitching in the face of adversity. He further intones that he has put the Snuggle teddy bear on his hit list and we are SO GLAD because that thing is practically Satanic in its insidiousness. JUST LOOK AT IT.


Anyway. Dean is not stupid (at least, not when we’re not talking about the electroconductive properties of fucking water) and he can see the writing on the wall. Dean wants Sam to take off without him, and he warns Sam to take care of Baby or he’ll haunt his brother. Dean wants to talk about the End of His Life. Sam is Not Having Any Of That. Look at this face — he is like the anti-Lauren Cooper. That boy is WAY bovvered:

Supernatural Jared Watch me


Anyway. Sam, surrounded by piles of medical journal articles on cardiovascular health and treatment, leaves a voicemail for Dear Old Dad. Surprisingly, he’s not tearing his Dad a new asshole for sending them on yet another dangerous hunting mission what the fuck John you suck at parenting. Instead, he leaves a determined message: “Don’t worry, cause I’m uh…gonna do whatever it takes to get him better. Just wanted you to know.”

And just in time to, because there is a knock at the door and of course it’s Dean, who is NOT going to die in a hospital that lacks hot nurses. Dean is way stoic. Sam is Not Having It. That seems to be his theme his episode. It’s actually a pretty good moment between the brothers, because stoic Dean is just Dean being Dean, and it’s cool to see Sam not only not buying it, but also calling him out on it.

DEAN: You’re not gonna let me die in peace, are you?
SAM: I’m not gonna let you die, period.

Dawn: I love that exchange. It’s not the last time they are going to have a conversation where Sam takes Dean to task for his macho bullshit, but it’s probably the only time they’re going to do it without raised voices. That’s our Sammy!

Rory let me love you

While Dean was checking himself out of the world’s most lax ER, Sam was digging through Scary Demonbits and calling up Dad’s pals, one of whom knows a faith healer — “The real deal,” swears Sam. “We’re going.” Dean looks less than convinced. We don’t really blame him.

Baby drives through some gnarly, muddy potholes, and even though we can’t see the expression on Dean’s face as this happens, we assume it’s something like this:

Clint Eastwood

They have reached a tent in the middle of a muddy field, where many people in various stages of illness and disability are milling(ish) about. Some are on crutches. And it turns out we DO get to see Dean’s pissed off face, and it is indeed as irritated as we thought, especially once he sees the sign that reads “The Church of Roy LeGrange. Faith Healer. Witness The Miracle..” Yeah. Not a happy Dean.

“You’re a lying bastard,” he snaps at Sam, “Thought you said we were going to see a doctor.” Sam can’t really argue, but that doesn’t keep him from trying: “I believe I said a specialist.” Weak, Sammy. We love you and your big ol’ eyes, but yeah — weak. But Reverand LeGrange is supposed to be the real deal, and let’s face it — if there is a chance out there to save his brother, Sam is taking it.

“Reverend LeGrange is a great man,” offers a lady from the ADR looping session as a totally different lady walks by, obscured by her umbrella. Dean is ornery. Sarah likes it. Dawn is thrilled she’s joined the club.

SaeH: Also, I don’t remotely believe that they’re about to kill off their lead in Season 1 E12. Unless you’re Joss Whedon about to go on a tear (pour one out for Tara, Doyle, and Wash, yeah?), you have to work pretty hard to convince me you’d axe any of your leads this early in the game.
Dawn: Don’t forget Game of Thrones Pour one out for…well, far too many to list here. Valar morghulis! But not quite yet, SPN.

Hey, hold up! Someone is also protesting the good Reverend by way of yelling at an unsympathetic cop that the Rev is “bilking people out of their hard-earned money,” and for a brief and glorious moment we think perhaps the Winchesters have wandered on to the set of Carnivale, because JUST IMAGINE the magic that would have resulted from a SPN/Carnivale crossover. Seriously, take a few minutes with that. Can you even? We can’t even.

Can't even

Goddamn you, HBO. ANYWAY, back to faith healing. Dean is Scully. Sam is the Mulder-iest Mulder ever. HE JUST WANTS TO BELIEVE WHY CAN”T YOU JUST LET HIM BELIEVE and also he’s totally backed up by Julie Benz, flashing her friendliest smile. Dean warms immediately. Darla, err, umm, Mrs. Dexter, err actually her name is Layla totally has his number. And judging from the very Dean-esque smirksmile on his face, we’re betting he’s hearing those Clapton lyrics in his head, most notably that whole “you got me on my knees” bit. Oh, Dean.

Supernatural Dean Puppy

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“O Captain, My Captain” – In Remembrance of Robin Williams

Posted by Kim

My family was a family that always went to the movies.  Once I was old enough to keep an eye on my two younger sisters, my parents’ movie strategy was to put us in a kiddie movie while they would go and see something more adult oriented (ah the innocence of the 80’s when you didn’t necessarily worry about someone snatching your kids).  The only problem with that strategy was that kids movies were normally much shorter, so we would often end up waiting for them in the lobby, and I would usually go into their movie to let them know we were waiting.  One afternoon when I was ten years old, I did that very thing.  I walked into a movie theatre and saw a bare-chested teenage boy standing at an open window, lifting a crown of brambles onto his head as the snow fell.  He looked incredibly sad and hopeless.  Strangely haunting music echoed through the theatre creating a sense of dread.  I found the images beautiful, and even though I had no idea what was going on, I was transfixed as I searched for my parents in the movie theatre.  I eventually found my parents as the boy’s father screamed “MY SON!  OH MY GOD!” and the mother wailed “He’s all right, he’s all right, he’s all right!”.  My mother quickly told me I needed to leave the movie theatre because this was too grown-up for me.  I acted like I was going to but instead stood in the back of the theatre for the rest of the movie.  I didn’t know why it was significant that these boys stood on their desks saying “O Captain, my Captain”, but it didn’t matter.  I was moved even without knowing the story and the images were forever burned into my brain.  A few years later, my parents decided I was old enough to watch Dead Poets Society, so we got the VHS and had a movie night.  Seeing the images I had seen that afternoon in the movie theatre in the correct context blew my mind and changed me forever.

I recently had a conversation with my Dad about my favorite movies of all time, and when I named Dead Poets Society, he was surprised.    Then I told him this story and he had NO idea I had done that.  It’s incredibly strange what has an impact on you, but that is what makes the movies so magical to me.

I had always intended to do a post on Dead Poets Society this year, as 2014 marks its 25th Anniversary…but instead I find myself writing about it on the incredibly tragic passing of the Captain himself, Robin Williams.  I have so many feelings and I’m not sure how to express them…but I’m going to try.

I was always a bookish kid who loved writing so Dead Poets Society‘s message about the importance of literature and art really resonated with me.  So THIS was why I was always writing short stories, why I made a monthly trip to the bookstore to buy books, why I devoured movies with an insatiable appetite…I was a member of the human race and art sustains us.  Now I watch DPS as an adult and find that its message of seizing the day and finding your passion and finding your voice  and making your life extraordinary sustains me.  It’s a philosophy I feel like I’ve truly embraced in the past few years (The Head Over Feels motto is essentially Carpe Diem, only with profanity) and my life has been better for it.  Robin Williams had an incredibly deep and vast filmography and many performances that had an impact on me (I’ll get to some of those later) but John Keating forever remains my personal favorite.  The WORDS in DPS are impactful no matter what, but it is in Robin’s delivery and performance that it truly comes to life.  He brings both an impish irreverence and  gravitas to Keating…how can you not be inspired by him when he delivers lines like this:

“Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? – – Carpe – – hear it? – – Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.”

“Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Don’t be resigned to that. Break out!”

I’ll always remember Robin as an actor that gave everything to the role he was playing whether it was Jumanji  or The Fisher King.  He is a study in dedication to his craft and just being ALIVE on-screen.  I have so many specific memories of Robin Williams films.   Lest this post become a novel, let me just give you some highlights of my favorite performances…

My mom took me and my friends to see Hook to celebrate my 13th birthday.  I thought it was magical.  13-year-old me wept (again I say…it’s no wonder I am the fangirl I am today.  The feels were always there) when tiny Pockets molded Robin’s face into the joyful expression of Peter Pan and said “Oh THERE you are, Peter”.  I cheered when Peter found his happy thought and finally flew.  Hook was the second movie I pulled out last night.  Bangarang.

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Guardians of the Galaxy – A Comprehensive List of All the Times We Overreacted

Guardians group

Posted by Sage

I don’t read comics.

I wish I did, but the sheer amount of any singular property I’d be interested in getting into is overwhelming. I don’t know where to start, so I don’t. Why should I, when a movie will eventually come along to tell me the story?

So when I heard that my boo Chris Pratt, whose praises I sing every week in my Parks and Rec recaps, was cast as some hero named Star Lord in some Marvel movie called Guardians of the Galaxy, I was 1 part confused and 3 parts totally delighted anyway. Thor knows what I’m talking about.

Thor no idea

Now it’s August 2014 and my iPhone lock screen is Groot fan-art. Awesome Mix #1 has replaced all other gym playlists for the time being. I’m sourcing burgundy jackets and old-school Walkmans for cosplay reasons. And Guardians can boast a record-breaking $94 million+ opening weekend, made up mostly of people like me: people who have little to no familiarity with the source material, but saw a machine-gun-wielding raccoon in the trailer and thought, “I can work with this.”

We may have failed on electing a Song of the Summer (I refuse to accept “Fancy”), but everything about Guardians screams escapism and swagger and color and fun. Can our Song of the Summer be a movie? Or at the very least, Blue Swede’s “Hooked On A Feeling”?

And now that song will be running through your head for the next three days, minimum. Consider it a soundtrack to this post, a comprehensive list of all the times we overreacted during Guardians of the Galaxy.

The Interstellar Trailer

interstellar rage

Come and get your Oscar nomination, Chris Nolan.

It wasn’t all a cruel trick! Chris Pratt is IN this movie. And he’s DANCING.

peter dancing gotg

Guardians opens with a Star Wars-esque teaser. We see a masked traveler wandering a mysterious landscape and we wonder what or who he’s looking for until he puts on some headphones, presses play, and oh my god, who cares what he’s trying to find, he’s dancing. And not only do we get to enjoy Chris Pratt gettin’ it to Redbone’s “Come and Get Your Love” over the opening credits, but we also get what kind of movie this is. Sure, Guardians has a plot. But it’s almost besides the point.

Burt Macklin, is that you?

gotg shirtless

The only thing better than the way Chris Pratt looks after training for six months to be a Marvel hero is the way he refusing to fetishize that lifestyle. The man wants to eat and lay around and be disgusting, just like the rest of us. And we love him no matter where he is on the Andy Dwyer to Star Lord spectrum. Still, let’s give his misery some meaning and appreciate this version while we’ve got it.

3D Phil Dunphy

Karen Gillan is a total badass.

gotg nebula

Kazza famously shaved her luxurious ginger locks for this part, and I would wager that it helped her find this character. Nebula is a villain of few words, but plenty of action. Despite essentially serving as the muscle for her adoptive father, she’s nobody’s errand girl. (Also, she’s alive! See you in the sequel, you terrifying, gorgeous blue lady.) And knowing how bubbly and gangly she is in real life, we appreciated Karen’s commitment to Nebula’s no-nonsense brand of doing what she had to do. Bitches get stuff done.

Everything is Groot and everything hurts.

i am groot

A Groot bot tweeted at me yesterday and I almost started to cry. I’m that invested.

groot lights

We don’t get much history on Groot when he’s introduced, so it’s a pleasure (and a constant feels assault) to have his character unfold throughout the movie. (I’m using male pronouns because he’s played by Vin Diesel, thought I don’t know if Groot is even gendered.) This isn’t a team of superheroes, just beings who have learned or trained or, in Gamora’s case, been trained against their will. But Groot is magical. He can create light. He can create life. And he won’t stop giving until there’s nothing left. Don’t look at me.

groot flower

Of course there’s fan art of Groot as the Giving Tree and I’ll take that book for real now please.

groot battery

You want Groot on your team, even if he’s not the brightest. While the rest of the Guardians have to learn the friendship thing the hard way, Groot has it living in himself the whole time. Rocket thinks they’re pal-ing around the galaxy because they can make more units together. But what would a groot even need money for? (Is his race called groots? Is he the smurf of the Marvel universe?) Groot is with Rocket because he loves him; Rocket is his friend. He gets it, even if no one else does. Also, if I see any Rocket/Groot fic anywhere, I’m taking you all down.

groot smiling

Look at that face! I’m in awe of the creative team that gave this GIANT TREE such an empathetic presence. He’s the heart of this whole enterprise. He is Groot. We are Groot. Or at least we should try to be.

baby groot dancing

Oh Christ, there he is again! My life is split up into two sections: before Dancing Baby Groot and after Dancing Baby Groot. That scene was a formative moment. And judging from the happy tears that were a-flowing in my row at the AMC 84 Street 6, I’m not alone. DANCING BABY GROOT.

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Rain on the Scarecrow, Blood on the Ground – Supernatural Recap

supernatural pain in the ass

Posted by Sarah and Dawn

Hi frands (friends and fans? I mean, Sprint coined “framily,” so it’s sort of a thing now. Right?). Anyway, frands, we’re back. Really. Sarah is wearing an engagement ring (so’s her fiance) and looking at venues; Dawn is kicking ass and taking names in Florida (after the misery of the move itself). So now here we are, and we are ready to spend a little quality time with our favorite hotties of the haunted, the Winchesters.

SARAH: I was born in Nebraska, land of corn, so you’d figure I’d be able to face a scarecrow without too much trouble, right? WRONG. Those things are terrifying. I don’t trust stuffed shirts, for one. They screw up everything. And pretty much the title tells us who the bad guy is, right? I’m guessing this scarecrow is going to axe murder a whole bunch of people. Will I be right? Probably. IT’S SUPERNATURAL. EVERYBODY DIES. OR GETS SCARED TO DEATH.

DAWN: John Shiban is proving to be hell on wheels when it comes to Monster of the Week episodes (which there are a lot of in S1, it’s true). This time, he takes on a rural horror trope — the scarecrow. Because those motherfuckers are CREEPY. I mean, think about it: Children of the Corn, Dark Night of the Scarecrow, Jeepers Creepers. Scarecrows are no one’s friend; don’t even trust the one from Oz! They’re all shifty, I tells ya. Shifty! So did Shiban bring the straw-filled shiveries or was it all just old shirts and dead leaves? Read on, outlanders…

Season 1, Episode 11: Scarecrow
Written by: John Shiban

The Story So Far: Uh, nothing! Not a single flame. We open directly in Burkitsville, Indiana, ONE YEAR AGO. That never bodes well.

Sarah: I can already tell that someone is dead.
Dawn: (sniffle) My little baby SPN fangirl is growing up so fast.

An unusually attractive couple is giggling over their good fortune at getting lost in the Nicest Town in America. They’ve been gassed up, given directions, and even been handed a free homemade apple pie (which is probably poisoned, because this IS Supernatural, after all). The Nicest Teenager In America compliments Boyfriend’s tattoo. The couple is given directions back to the highway — “…turn right on Orchard Road” has probably never sounded so ominous before. Indeed, mere TV seconds later, it’s raining and the Unusually Attractive Couple (UAC) find their car sputtering and dying in the middle of nowhere. Along with their cellphone.

community congratuhorrible

UAC find themselves on the edge of a creepy orchard. An actual freaking owl hoots in the distance. Deadshirt!Boyfriend (DS!B) suggests heading to a “house over there.” Deadshirt!Girlfriend (DS!G) is like, uh, no, totally not going. But DS!B is insistent: “We need help. We can’t just wait here.” In the giant metal thing with the locks on it. Which brings us nicely to SPN Life Lesson #30: Given the options “just wait there” or head into dark woods/dark alley/dark abandoned building of any kind, pick the former.

DS!G stupidly ignores her own feelings of fear and trepidation in favor of following DS!B and bringing us to SPN Life Lesson #31: Go with your gut, lest someone spew them all over the ground for you. For you see, silly DS!G, you CAN just wait there. But you won’t.

Dawn: (singing) Buona sera, signorina, buona sera. It is time to say goodnight to Burkitsville. Though it’s hard for me to whisper buona sera when I know that something’s coming for the kill.

Deepest apologies to Dean Martin. And all of Dawn’s dead Italian relatives who will likely be rising from their graves to haunt her ass for that one. Let’s continue.

So off they go, into the deep, dark, creepy yonder because SPN Life Lesson #25 taught us that no one on this show has ever seen a goddamn horror movie. And DS!B drives that lesson home like a Mack truck when they come across the creepiest scarecrow ever and he proceeds to make fun of it. So now it’s pretty much a guarantee that haunted scarecrow is going to ax murder UAC everywhere. But by all means, keep walking! You’ll totally reach safety before the opening credits roll!

ha ha ha

DS!G looks back at Creepy Scarecrow, which moves. IT FREAKING MOVES. But rather than run screaming back to the car (i.e., the big metal thing with the locks on it), she just gasps, grabs DS!B’s arm a little tighter, and suggests that they “just hurry.” We are offended both as feminists (though admittedly, DS!B is coming off just as stupid) and as people with actual brains in their heads. And also we are not surprised when the crunch of footsteps comes next. Or the inhuman moan. They run. But really badly.

Sarah: Maybe they were distracted by the traffic light that directed them to run in circles. Red, green, it’s practically Christmas.

adventure time turn crazy

DS!B disappears somehow, leaving DS!G to wonder where he is, breathe heavily, and run some more until she trips. Over the skinned corpse of Deadshirt!Boyfriend. More screams and the suspicious sound of straw moving as the camera pans back to show that INDEED, The Scariest Scarecrow of Scareland has slipped its bonds. So he’s probably the one making all the terrible murder sounds while DS!G screams her head off. Roll opening credits.

Cut to Our Intrepid Winchesters! Hello, boys, we’ve missed you!

Sarah: Hi, sleeping Winchesters. How do you manage to do that? Sleep, I mean. Given your line of work and all?

We have picked up exactly where left them — sleeping in the Motel of the Week with Dean’s adorable little retro flip phone ringing away. Sam answers and holy fuck bananas, it’s DAD. Camera cuts back and forth between the boys (Sam on phone, Dean eventually waking and looking Very Concerned) and really, really close shots of bits of John Winchester’s face (proving to us all that Jeffrey Dean Morgan can rock the scruff like a motherfucker). Dad is not forthcoming with details, which pleases Sam not at all.

supernatural sam bitchface

Their tender conversation quickly becomes the tensest thing ever as Dad refuses to tell Sam where he is or what he is doing (going after the demon that killed their mother and Sam’s girlfriend) and orders the boys to stop looking for him. Sammy is irate. Dad issues orders. Dean grabs the phone and does what Dad says — write down a set of names, which are three different couples, all from different states, who all went missing. While Dean is dutifully jotting down some names their dad gives him, Sammy is giving his jaw muscles the workout of the century. It’s actually amazing he’s still able to speak given how hard he’s clenching that shit. Because Sam doesn’t give a crap, regardless of the strange coincidences and the pattern that emerges from said coincidences. He just doesn’t give a flying fuck. He wants to go to California to find Dad. Dean wants to listen to Dad, because that’s what Dean does — he follows orders. ignores and Dean follows. Sam doesn’t get it and things get even more tense as the following conversation occurs:

SAM: I don’t understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it’s like you don’t even question him.
DEAN: Yeah, it’s called being a good son! (Sam gets out of the car; Dean follows) You’re a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don’t care what anybody thinks.
SAM: That’s what you really think?
DEAN: Yes, it is.
SAM: Well, then this selfish bastard is going to California.
DEAN: Come on, you’re not serious.
SAM: I am serious.
DEAN: It’s the middle of the night! Hey, I’m taking off, I will leave your ass, you hear me?
SAM: That’s what I want you to do.
DEAN: Goodbye, Sam.

For the record, variations on this conversation will happen quite a few times over the next nine seasons. Make a note of that.

supernatural got a pen

By morning, Dean is in Burkitsville, debating giving Sam a call on the Cutest, Oldest, Wee-est Flip Phone ever. But no. He heads for Scotty’s Cafe instead, where he introduces himself to Scotty as “John Bonham.” THANK ALL THE THINGS that Scotty responds, “Isn’t that the drummer for Led Zeppelin?” Way to go, Creepy Townsperson. Way to go.

“John Bonham” is looking for his pals, the UAC. Scotty is having none of it. They “don’t get many strangers around here,” he says, though he forgets to add “because all our visitors die horrible deaths by Scarecrow.” Hey, look, sometimes things slip your mind, you know?

Meanwhile, Sammy wanders down a highway, like you do, and comes upon a hot blonde chick, like you do. Could it be road love? Probably not, because a) you’re watching Supernatural and b) she takes off with a Shady Van Guy who refuses to let Sam tag along. That might have been a mistake, Shady Van Guy. Blondie looks tough (in utter defiance of SPN Life Lesson 24, wherein being a blond lady on this show is a terrible idea — we suspect she’s going to buck the trend). And also we’re not real sure about her intentions towards our Sam. What say you, Lafayette?

true blood shit

Back to Dean, who is at the gas station run by the Nicest Townspeople In Town, who are clearly actually the opposite of that as they are lying flatly about meeting UAC the year before. Too bad for them, they are caught out by their daughter, who recognizes DS!B’s (who was actually DeadShirt!Husband, our bad) neat tattoo. Ooopsie!! OF COURSE they remember UAC! The Nicest Liars in all of Liarsville happily point Dean in the same direction they once pointed the UAC.

Dean drives Baby down the creepy highway of doom. And he’d have gone right past the scene of the crime if it weren’t for that meddling EMF detector going all kinds of crazy. So off he goes into the orchard from hell, where he spies the a Scary Scarecrow of Scareland hanging on its pole. This thing is super freaky nightmare stuff, even in daylight. In fact, kinda worse in daylight. Which is it’s a fucking TERRIBLE IDEA for Dean to climb up for a better look, though he does so anyway. All the better to make fun of SSS, but Dean gets away with that because he’s Dean fucking Winchester. Plus it gets us a classic and oft-quoted SPN line: “Dude, you fugly.” And that’s when he spots Deadshirt!Husband’s tattoo. “Nice tatt,” he says, and BAM! Blackout. Which made Sarah do this:

will and grace jack scared

Sarah: I jumped like four feet.

Dean and Baby return to town and also to Sweet Blonde Emily, who, it turns out, is the niece of the Nicest Townspeople and not their daughter at all. He flirts, she smiles, and he learns that she came to town when he was 13 after losing her parents in a car accidents. She assures him that “everybody is nice here” and that she loves the podunk little place, calling it “blessed.”

sherlock moriarty ordinary people

Dawn: As our official longtime watcher and alleged show expert, I feel that this would be a good time to remind everyone out there in SPN land that this show’s primary focus is on Judeo-Christian mythology (with occasional forays into Pagandom), so calling anything “blessed” is not a great sign.

Emily has also seen the scarecrow, but she can’t tell him who owns it – it’s just ALWAYS BEEN THERE and really, Dean, shouldn’t that be a fucking clue to run? Except then there’s be no show. Dean also asks about the red truck behind Emily. They’re having car trouble, she reports. A couple. A guy and a girl. We know from the look on Dean’s face that he is remembering what Daddy told him, because good little soldiers always remember the words of their commanding officer. Oh, Dean.

Sarah: I’m just going to take a break right now and guess that this is some Wicker Man shit.

Back to Sam! Who is in a bus station, being told that the next bus to Sacramento isn’t until tomorrow morning. Sam is having a rough night. He’s about to spend many hours in a bus station. He thinks about calling Dean and decides against it. But wait! There’s the hot blonde girl from the side of the road! Who is is also going to California. “No way!” “Yeah!” “Me too!” (Seriously, that’s the actual conversation.) How serendipitous! Blondie’s name is Meg. We suspect that she is trouble.

Dawn: I don’t trust how she said she “cut off” Shady Van Guy. Sam should have asked her which parts she meant.

true blood slap that bitch

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