“Cantankerous, Baffled, and Noble.” – Tom Mison and John Noble at the Sleepy Hollow Pumpkin Patch

Mison and Noble Sleepy Hollow Pumpkin Patch

Father and Son Love Fest

Posted by Kim

Earlier this week, we had the pleasure of attending the Sleepy Hollow Pumpkin Patch event at the St. Mark’s Greenmarket in the East Village.  Keep those press invites coming, Fox, we’ll come running for ANY event, even if it’s a letter opening…especially when it includes Sleepy Hollow stars Tom Mison (The Reigning Head Over Feels Sexiest Man Alive and Inaugural Best Actor Feelie winner) and John Noble (and with meeting John, we have now interviewed every single principle cast member of the show.  #humblebrag).  We were super bummed that the shooting schedule kept Tom and John away for New York Comic Con, so we obviously jumped at the chance to interview them at this event.  While we may have been exhausted from flying back from Los Angeles the previous night, we knew that not even exhaustion would keep us away.

Headless is so helpful.

Headless is so helpful.

I’m not saying this to suck up to them (okay, maybe I am a little), but every Sleepy Hollow event we have gone to has been fantastic and incredibly organized.  The publicists are friendly and professional…and even better than that, they recognize us now (“Head Over Feels! We just saw you at NYCC, right?”).  Team Sleepy set up a great booth with free mini pumpkins (Sage: Yay!  I was wanting one for my desk!) and Jack-o-lantern backpacks for Press. (Guys, I am getting used to getting swag.  It’s not good.)  There was also a Headless Horseman and an Ichabod look-alike for photo ops.  Now, while Fakeabod was CUTE, he also seemed painfully aware that he WASN’T Tom Mison…which was both adorable and sad.  And as you can see above, it was very disconcerting to see Headless being so helpful as he scooped pumpkins into the backpacks.  We were delighted to see some of our SleepyHead Friends that we had made at NYCC…some of which were doing the full Tom Press tour, as they had tickets to the Letterman taping a few hours later.  RESPECT. That dedication is why we love you guys.

John (looking dapper in a subtly blue plaid blazer and scarf) and Tom (wearing a lived-in looking green flannel button down and skinny pants [what would Ichabod think???]) arrived about 20 minutes after we did and posed for pictures with Headless.  (Missed opportunity for Tom to pose with Fakeabod, just saying.)  They then went to the booth and goofed around with the mini pumpkins (John tried to juggle them) and posed for more pictures before the on camera interviews began.

(Sage…goal for 2015 is to get a cameraman.  Got it?)

John and Headless

John is befuddled by Headless.

DSC00436

Delightful.

Once all the on camera interviews were done (someone from MTV brought them [cold] pumpkin spice lattes and asked Tom to talk about how basic he was by the way), we were up.  Because time was limited, we were grouped in a group of four, including the lovely ladies from Fat Pink Cast.  (PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST Laaaaaaaaadies…we’d love to guest on your podcast).  We only got six minutes with them, but I would like to think it was six minutes of perfection.

Fat Pink Cast: At New York Comic-Con, Len Wiseman revealed that (Kim and Sage start nodding furiously and flailing, Tom notices and LITERALLY giggles at them.  “SHE STOLE OUR QUESTION.”) (Note that we knew what her question was before she even finished it and she didn’t KNOW that was our question.  Which is why we should be friends.) Ichabod’s going to be introduced to karaoke.  There’s a little bit of debate.  We know Nicole can sing and we were wondering if you can sing also. What are our chances in the future of an Ichabbie duet?

Tom Mison: Yeah, we haven’t shot that scene yet.  But we’ve discussed it a lot.  I don’t think it’s up to me to say whether I can sing or not. I think…just look at Twitter after that scene and I am sure people will let you know if I can.

Fat Pink Cast: Are you going to try to put in an effort?

Tom Mison: (makes a sassy face with the requisite arched eyebrow) Weeeeeellllllll…I don’t know.  It’s not whether Tom can sing, it’s whether Ichabod can sing.  If I’m doing badly, it’s definitely a character choice.

John Noble: You’d be pleasantly surprised! He’s just so modest.

Tom Mison: Aw, thank you.

**Bro Snuggle** (THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH.)

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Cruel and Unusual – Scandal Gif-Cap

Fitz beating up Jake

Season 4, Episode 5: The Key
Posted by Sage

Olivia’s case-of-the-week stretched over two this time. The disappearance and death of the daughter of Liv and Abby’s law school chum Katherine had more twists and turns than OPA expected. (Maybe it’s time to just start expecting that – always.) Meanwhile, Fitz and Rowan have Jake locked away with a mind to pressure him into confessing to Jerry’s murder. As usual, we’ve got plot coming out of our ears, so let’s get going.

“It’s Jeremy’s security guy at the firm.” Dan Kubiak, the man who manhandled Katelyn in an elevator, is a disgraced police captain and also maybe a sociopath. Highly functioning, natch.

tobias security

“You’re getting your expensive pants dirty. Seriously, what are you doing here?” The longer Olivia and Quinn work alone together, the harder it is for Quinn to keep her freak flag under wraps.

i'm rich spaceballs

“Remember? Insta-besties? Lady wood?” I get it.

guardians nothing goes over

“Why isn’t she running?” Olivia and Quinn look on helplessly from their surveillance post as Kubiak murders Katelyn’s friend Lauren.

snl whatcha say

“Body decomposing in DC this time of year would probably really start to stink badly enough in about four of five days and office workers around would-” “I wasn’t actually asking.”

west wing talking about

“I want an update on Jake Ballard.” Fitz broods around his office, demanding things. I want to slug him in his smug-ass face. Or smug ass-face.

bossy and short supernatural

“I needed a nightcap and I hate drinking alone.” Rowan shows up at Olivia’s door with a bottle of wine because this is their relationship now?

drinking solution

“That’s a lotta birds.”

birds motherfucker

“There’s something about Jake that reminds me of myself at his age.” He says, to terrify Olivia into dumping him.

iron man like you

“Olivia – what could possibly have happened to a man like Jake?” A big, strong man like Jake…mmmm….Jake.

full house michelle strong

“These handcuffs are just a suggestion to me. I’m being very nice. Stop talking.” That is, until he kicks the interrogator square in the chest and the suity-gun squad came running in.

SHIELD my face hurts

“Damn right, whatever.” Mellie has given zero fucks for so long that she doesn’t even remember what giving one feels like.

how interesting one direction

“Why don’t you just leave?” “Because Jerry’s here.” STOP TORTURING YOUR GRIEVING WIFE YOU D.

not going anywhere

“How many times have I told you not to ask about my work, boss?” Caitlin’s dad has no control over Kubiak.

arrow oh frack

“Your daughter is dead. Your wife is rotting in jail for a crime she didn’t commit. Enjoy your fruit.” Pope out.

jay and silent bob dancing

“I work at the White House, David. The White House never closes.” David drunk dials Abby to talk about showering together. He calls her “Abbs.” I weep.

put my boner

“They were gonna kill you and Javi.” Huck tries to explain to his wife why he went missing. But because he looks and sounds remarkably like a crazy person, she’s not buying it.

drake leave bitch

“There wasn’t a single word in that sentence I understood. Except ‘cowbell.'”

cowbell snl

“I reserve my favors for my friends.” “Abby, not now.” OKAY, YOU’RE NOT FRIENDS. WE UNDERSTAND.

twd yeah i get it

“You should stand.” “What?” “You stand for the President, Bill.” 

president dancing

But WHY do you trust him, Jake?

“Sittin’ on the dock of the baaaay…”

99 becoming homies

I’m uncomfortable.

“You have been waiting for this moment since the second I got in bed with her.”

fun sexy time

“You are a decent human being.” I’m about to burst a blood vessel trying to think of one decent thing Fitz has ever done.

the office disappointing day

“I’m one too – it’s why she loves me!” Meanwhile, Liv is convinced that Jake is avoiding her for some reason. And she calls him her “boyfriend,” which means he’s definitely in a storm of fuck.

htgawm what his penis

“I just want to see my son.” Huck’s wife tells him to come back tonight. She’s unusually calm about it.

twd never let your guard down

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“Crane on the Brain” – Sleepy Hollow Recap

Posted by Kim

Sleepy Hollow 2 x 05

“The Weeping Lady”

Hello from somewhere over Chicago, SleepyHeads!  That’s right, this week’s recap is brought to you from my flight to Los Angeles where Sage and I will be attending CommuniCon 3 this weekend.  I just paid $22 for 3 hours of in-flight wi-fi…so let’s get this done, shall we?

(Edit: heeeeeey I’m finishing this on the way BACK from the con, cause I don’t know what I was thinking regarding being able to write once I was reunited with all my friends!)

Earlier this week, Sage gChatted me saying. “I think I’m FINALLY on your level when it comes to Tom Mison and Ichabod Crane.  I mean I’ve always appreciated him, but I spent most of this week’s episode making inhuman noises whenever he was on-screen.” (That’s right, partner.  I’m selling you out.) My response? “WELCOME TO MY LEVEL IT IS SO NICE HERE.”  What could have brought on Sage’s new level of love?  Could it be the fact that she is currently reading The Secret Journal of Ichabod Crane that we scored in the NYCC press session? (I plan on starting said journal once I finish this post, and we’re planning on doing a review because it is damn delightful.) Could it have been the fact that I was currently in the Sleepy Hollow tumblr tag looking for the perfect gifs for this recap and was sending her all the hot Ichabod ones?  Or could it have just been the fact that much like the Sleepy writing staff in this week’s episode that Sage finally had to give in to the fact that IchaTom is just too damn irresistible?

I think it is a combination of all three.  Crane on the Brain indeed.

“The Weeping Lady” delved into the consequences of Ichabod being too dreamy for his own good when it comes to the women in his life.  It also threw a serious wrench into S.S. Ichatrina.  Let’s get right to it shall we?

#Creepy Hollow

This week’s monster was straight of a classic ghost story: the vengeful spirit of a jilted woman who does nothing but weep for her lost love takes her anger out on innocent women, pulling them through a magic portal of black water and drowning them in a river.  After this spirit kills the delightful Miss Caroline (RIP Ichabod’s Tailor, what is he going to do for clothes now?) and then attacks Abbie (OH WE’RE GONNA GET TO THAT) it becomes clear that this spirit’s victims have one thing in common: Ichabod Crane.  Yes, because this is Sleepy Hollow, the spirit obviously had a tie to Ichabod’s past.  This woman was not Betsy Ross or Martha Washington or any other historical lady (kind of surprised they didn’t go there actually) but Ichabod’s intended wife Mary, who had sailed from England to bring Ichabod home to marry her.  Mary is (putting it lightly) a bit obsessive over Ichabod (whooooooooo wouldn’t be?).  She has a history of fearing every woman who ever looked at him, convinced that they would steal him away.   She arrives in Sleepy Hollow convinced that he has been pining for her as she has for him and seeing him in with Katrina Von Tassel sends her over the edge.  Despite the fact that Katrina is betrothed to his best friend, Mary insists that Katrina and Ichabod are in love (perhaps SHE is the witch) and she loses her shit when he refuses to come home.  But then…she mysteriously relents, sending Ichabod a letter freeing him from their engagement, and she is never heard from again.

Until she starts attacking any woman that Ichabod Crane holds affection for that is.

Thanks to Katrina’s letter to him going missing whilst saving Abbie (First of all…priorities.  Secondly, that missive was absolutely worthless.  ISN’T KATRINA SUPPOSED TO BE A DAMN SPY? Why did her letter contain nothing but “Hey boo…I bewitched this raven to be a messenger.  Still chilling at Abraham’s not spying. But remember I love you bunches! XOXO, Katrina), Mary finds out that Katrina is not only alive and well, but Ichabod’s wife.  Naturally she is next on the hit list.  Katrina FINALLY uses some of her witchy powers to escape drowning, just as Ichabod and Abbie arrive to save her.  Then, along with Abbie, who immediately volunteers (“We’re all out of witches, how about a witness?” #QUEEN), Katrina casts a spell to bring Mary back to human form.  It works, and Mary is mortally wounded, collapsing into Ichabod’s arms.  He holds her, because he is a goddamn prince and also because he knows that she won’t hurt him (at which point I immediately started singing “A Little Fall of Rain”).  He asks her WHY she is doing this…WHY is she not only still in Sleepy Hollow, but attacking the women he cared for.  She looks at him mournfully…and then points to Katrina.  Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Everyone has a terrifying ex that tries to drown the people you love, right?  I give the Creepy of this episode 4/10 Sandmen.

#WHATTHEDAMNHELLHollow

Immediately following Mary’s accusation, I tweeted “Tired of your shit, Katrina.”  I am…so so tired of it.  I don’t WANT to hate her…but she’s not doing herself any favors right now.  Not ONCE has she done anything to further Abbie and Ichabod’s cause…she has only served to impede it.  She’s dishonest and secretive and not to be trusted…and it seems that Ichabod is finally seeing the light.

Katrina knows she’s had the moment Mary points to her…and Ichabod is horrified.  She tries to brush it off, saying that this was neither the time nor the place to discuss it (kinda true).  But Ichabod, God love him, demands an answer. I will not leave until I hear the truth from your lips! What in God’s name did you do?”  It turns out that Katrina VERY much knew who Mary was, as the two met up to “discuss” (ie for Mary to lose her shit) their mutual affection for one Ichabod Crane.  In her furor, Mary “tripped” on a root and fell off a cliff and died.  (I don’t buy it.)  Katrina then conjured Mary’s “Dear Ichabod” because she knew that if Ichabod knew about Mary’s death, he would go back to England to bury her out of a sense of duty and honor. So even when she WAS engaged to Abraham, she was still trying to keep him on the hook. 

Finally FINALLY Ichabod takes stock of all the lies and half-truths Katrina has told him throughout their marriage.  She was a spy for his BFF Washington. (Come on, George, all those nights and you didn’t say anything?  A little of that is on him.) She’s a witch.  She was pregnant with the Horseman of War.  She was there the night Mary died.  You know that episode of How I Met Your Mother (it still hurts me to reference this show all the time) where everyone hears a glass shatter the moment they have an awful realization about someone?  This was Ichabod’s glass shatter moment.  His wife is a LIAR. If there is one thing Ichabod Crane values about everything else (well except maybe for Donut holes) it’s honor.  And his wife has none.  I smell trouble in paradise.

How exactly was Mary brought back in the first place? Henremy of course.  “I relish any chance to cause my parents pain,” he said to Abraham.  He was QUITE successful in this endeavor…but he did not anticipate Mary trying to drown Katrina, which in turn angered Moloch.  Moloch has a role for Katrina, and as a “Hellfire Shard” she can NOT be compromised. (WHAT THE HELL IS A HELLFIRE SHARD?) Henremy gets a good ass kicking from Moloch (“You do NOT plan!”) and the episode ends with him weeping on the floor like a little bitch.  I’ve got a bad feeling about all of this…

For all of my Katrina shade and whatever the damn hell a “Hellfire Shard” is, I rate the #WHATTHEDAMNHELL of this episode 8.5/10 Golems.  Yes.  I can use a half Golem.  I do what I want.

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“Goodness had nothing to do with it.” – Doctor Who Recap

Doctor Who, Series 8 Episode 9

“Flatline”

Posted by Kim

Rule Number One: The Doctor Lies.

Even when The Doctor is Clara Oswald.

Series 8 continued Doctor Who‘s hot streak (seriously, there has yet to be an outright clunker this series) by delivering a cracking good story with a terrifying villain, fantastic special effects, hilarious visual gags, great dialogue, and a fascinating role reversal with the Doctor and Clara.  I almost flailed off the couch several times in my initial watch of the episode, and did so again when I rewatched the episode on my morning commute a few days later.  (Yes, I was the basic bitch on the train clutching her pumpkin spice latte watching Doctor Who on her iPad and overreacting.  Fine with it.)

At the end of “Mummy on the Orient Express” we saw Clara lie to both Danny and The Doctor about continuing her travels.  While we don’t know how much time has passed since then, it is clear that there are some adventures in the interim between the end of that episode and the opening of “Flatline” (fanfic please).  “Flatline” opens with Clara hastily packing up all of her stuff after another trip, like she is some sort of one night stand not wanting to leave anything behind in the TARDIS.  “You CAN leave some of that stuff here,” The Doctor says.  “We literally have acres of room.”  So basically, The Doctor did the equivalent of offering her a drawer at his place.  (Sorry, Sage, not helping you with your shipping problems.)  Clara brushes off the suggestion, once again placing the blame on Danny, and turns to exit the TARDIS when she notices that the exit has shrunk.  Uh oh.

Brief annoyance at being in Bristol aside, Clara is easily convinced to investigate the area while The Doctor remains behind with his magically shrinking box (a moment to appreciate how he wouldn’t let her go back in the TARDIS for fear that she would get trapped in there).  After all…who has time for lunch on a park bench with Danny when there are mysteries to be solved? This is where things start to get hairy…while Clara is off investigating (and picking up her future companion Rigsy), the TARDIS shrinks again (down to the size of my TARDIS cookie jar, which I will obviously never look at the same again) trapping The Doctor inside.  The Doctor has no other choice but to hand over the psychic paper and the sonic screwdriver to Clara while she delightedly tucks the TARDIS into her purse.  It’s up to her to save both The Doctor and the world.  At first Clara takes on the persona of “The Doctor” just to needle him (as he is listening and seeing everything through an earpiece) but as the episode progresses we see Clara transform into The Doctor with ease.  It’s almost second nature.  All of her travels with him have prepared her for this very moment.  The Doctor may loathe to admit it, but he’s trained his soldier Clara QUITE well.  From her wielding the Sonic Screwdriver like a boss to grabbing Rigsy by the hand and saying “Run”, Clara was The Doctor through and through.  She even repeated back lessons she had learned on The Orient Express.  “Give them hope,” she said.  “People with hope run faster.  People who are scared dawdle.”   She eventually lost The Doctor’s Voice in her ear (or so we thought) once the TARDIS shut down as it went into siege mode…but by that point Clara didn’t even need him.  She was that self-assured in her choices.

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Get Bent – Supernatural Recap

supernatural the benders

Posted by Sarah and Dawn

Sarah: I have no idea what this is about.

Dawn: I do. It’s a John Shiban, so that means Monster of the Week. And boy is this one is fucked, so let’s just get to it.

All gifs for this recap belong to Peter Capaldi. Irritated Peter Capaldi. Disapproving Peter Capaldi. Fuckity swearing fuck Peter Capaldi. YOU’LL SEE WHY. Also, swearing Peter Capaldi gifs might be our spirit animal, so expect a gif-heavy recap this time around. Go on and do it for us, Peter.

capaldi brows

Season 1, Episode 15: The Benders
Written by: John Shiban

The Story So Far: Uh, nothing. Oddly, we get no background intro this time. Curious. But you know the drill. Two brothers, hunting monsters, dysfunctional relationship with Dad, salting and burning, shotguns, Impala, classic rock, blah blah blah. On to the ep.

Chyron says Hibbing, Minnesota. A young kid is sitting in bed, blankets pulled up to his chest. Growly noises are coming from the TV. We see a tiny Godzilla figure on the mantle, and so let’s go out on a limb and guess that the famous Japanese monster is responsible for the noise. Little horror movie kid is distracted by a squeaky engine and hops out of bed to play Peeping Tom. He sees a guy carrying garbage bags across a parking lot to a dumpster. Ominously. Like he’s a bad guy, but since this is SPN, he’s more likely a deadshirt. And a REALLY stupid one, at that. GarbageBag!Deadshirt hears something skittering in a dark parking lot, goes to check LIKE AN IDIOT, and gets dragged under a car, screaming.

in the loop so dense

Flash forward to a displeased mom-type telling two men that her son has already told his story to police, and that the more he says his presumably-crazy story, the more he believes that it’s true. Mom clearly does not think it is true.

Cut to Sam and Dean, looking super hot in some sort of police uniforms…ooh, STATE police uniforms. They doff their cowboy hats to the sound of exploding ovaries everywhere, and encourage Evan, the skinny kid from the previous scene, to tell them what he saw.

Turns out Young Evan heard what sounded like a monster. Aaaand he’d been watching Godzilla vs Mothra. This excites Dean, who loves GvM more than the original Sammy likes the remake. Really, Sammy? We are disappointed.

the hour please stop

Still, though, it’s a beautiful bonding moment and a sweet, simple way for the writers to keep communicating how close these two really are. Well done on that bit, Shiban. Appreciate that compliment. because it’s probably the only one you’re getting this recap. But still, well done. Even Capaldi approves. FOR NOW.

capaldi laughing

So the story mom doesn’t believe but that Evan is pretty darn earnest about this: Evan saw a monster grab Deadshirt!Mr. Jenkins and drag him underneath a car. It had a whining growl.. That is apparently a BIG SUPER CLUE, and all the brothers need to hear.

Cut to Kugel’s Keg, where Sam does Homework while Dean plays darts. Sam notes that Daddy Dearest has marked the area in Scary Demonbits. Seems the whole place is a hotbed of missing persons, but they can’t tell if it’s their sort of gig. Sam wants to get to the Motel of the Week, which he saw five miles back. Dean wants another beer but decides to let it go, though not without busting his brother’s balls at least a little. Dean needs to take a leak, so “Grandma” Sam ventures outside. Alone. In the foggy dark. In a hotbed of missing persons activity. Way to go, Sammy. To the surprise of no one, he hears similar sounds to the ones Mr. Jenkins did. And, like Jenkins, Sam goes to investigate. Remember when Sam was smart?

But hey, no worries! It’s just a pissy ginger cat! Sam has a chuckle but his relief is short lived, which we know because the camera shows us his feet. Almost as if we are looking at them from underneath a car…

capaldi in the loop clown minefield

By the time Dean comes out of the bar, Sam is gone. Pissy ginger cat is there. Scary Demonbits is there. Baby is there. But no Sammy. Well, shit, son. Cue the ominous string section.

Sarah: VERY OMINOUS STRINGS is the name of my next band.

Dawn: Your first single should be Pissy Ginger Cat Knows Better Than You, Sam.

Dean is ever so slightly panicked, and is asking total strangers if they’ve seen his brother. No dice. He looks around (taking in some nearby security cameras) but sees nothing but fog. It’s clear he’s worried sick.

The next morning, Dean chats up a pretty police officer, still under the guise of his Alias of the Week. Frankly, we are amazed he waited until the next morning, but then he probably spent all night exhausting his own pretty impressive investigatory skills, so cops are the only option. He says he’s not there to investigate the Jenkins case. It’s his….cousin. Yah, his cousin, see? And they were out drinking and he disappeared, see?

Officer Skeptical thinks perhaps Sam is an alcoholic. Dean insists that Sam was taken. Officer Skeptical is actually Officer Helpful, and sits down with “Greg Washington” to investigate Sam Winchester. What she learns is that Dean is dead, according to medical records, and was suspected of murder. Dean nods knowingly, because that Dean Winchester sure was the black sheep of the family, doncha know. “Handsome though,” he adds helpfully.

Modest too. So nice that Dean keeps what’s really important in sight.

capaldi sassy smile

Officer Helpful née Skeptical does the usual checking of the usual databases. Dean wants to use the county traffic cameras to see who (or what) took Sammy. Officer HnS wants him to fill out a missing persons report. Dean’s not so down with that. He knows the county has a terrible track record with missing persons. Sam, he insists, “is coming back. I’m bringing him back.” His face is kinda inarguable. Look:

Supernatural bringing him back

Dawn needs a moment, because Season 10 actually starts next week and Holy Mother of Sin, Dean looks so YOUNG in this episode. They’re just babies! Disturbed, dysfunctional, criminal babies.

Meanwhile, in what we can only presume is another part of Evillll, Minnesota, Sammy wakes up in an iron cage. He can’t stand fully upright and he’s in the dark. He shakes the bars a bit, determines that he can’t get out just yet, and looks around. He spots another unconscious prisoner — NotQuiteDeadshirt!Mr. Jenkins.

Also, it’s nice that Sammy looks a bit like, “Oh, a dark cage. Must be Thursday.”

Back in the light of day, Officer HnS has pulled the traffic camera reports, which show a rusty old camper with brand new plates. She and Dean agree it must have been involved. Just then, Dean spots a rusty old van making a terrible whining growl.

“I’ll be damned.” says Dean.

“I’ll be double damned,” says Sarah, who thinks she knows where this is going.

“mumblehhphdamnedseason10mumble,” says Dawn, because her hands are clapped over her own mouth and she doesn’t want to spoil, sweetie.

Come on, Sammy! Prove us wrong. Kick the shit out of that cage and be somewhere slightly less invested in the latest reprint of To Serve Man.

Sadly, Sam’s kicking only serves to wake the other cage-tenant, who turns out to be the missing Mr. Jenkins. Anybody want to place bets on his odds? Here’s a hint — bet low. Really, really low. Jenkins the soon to be deadshirt thinks we’re in the country, as “it smells like the country.” Of course it does.

capaldi head tilt

Sarah: I HATE obligatory cannibalism episodes (OCE), ever since I watched the “Countrycide” episode of Torchwood. People in cages in the country and dudes driving around in rusty old cars with new plates are pretty much all I need to believe that I’m watching SPN’s OCE. I really fucking hate episodes like this. I hate cannibals as much as I hate zombies (see: Sarah’s Very Sound Reasons for not watching Hannibal OR The Walking Dead.). Look out, SPN. Now I’m rage watching you.

THE MONSTERS ARE MEN. WOMP WOMP.

capaldi really

Dawn: It’s still not going to be worse than The X-Files “Home.” Because nothing can be. Rob Zombie couldn’t make a more disturbing backwoods cannibal story than that. No one can. There is none more disturbing than that. SARAH IS NEVER TO WATCH IT. EVER.

Sarah: I could write a book filled with reasons I am never going to watch it. Ever. Not to worry.

Now that we are temporarily done venting, back to our boys. Sam and Jenkins confer briefly. It’s clear Sammy still thinks monsters got him. Jenkins is a fucking pessimist, and he should be, because he is the last lamb to the slaughter before the bad guys get theirs, mark our words. Cannibals or no cannibals, ain’t nothing standing up to Big Brother Winchester, not after they took his Sammy. No fucking way.

capaldi under control

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“Everyone is looking to me to lead.” – Arrow Recap

Arrow 3 x 01, 02

“The Calm” and “Sara”

Posted by Kim

This was never supposed to happen.

Over the summer I was looking to take on a new show to recap (because I am a masochist and clearly we don’t do enough recaps on this site).  I pondered doing one of the new shows…but was hesitant to commit to a show by merely reading its pilot description on paper.  To recap a show, you have to truly love it and connect to it…which takes a few episodes, to be honest.

And then Arrow happened.

I was fully aware that many of my friends on Twitter were mega-Arrow fans…but still I held out from watching it.  I was thoroughly burned by Smallville back in the day (after marathoning the first 4 seasons on DVD only to have the show start to SUCK Season 5) so I was incredibly hesitant to commit to another superhero origin series.  Then Stephen Amell was announced for NYCC…and I STILL held back, thinking there was no way I would have time to watch 2 seasons before then (HA!!).  Finally, after much prodding from my friend Beth (who just liked to send me pictures of Amell’s face and abs), combined with the fact that most of my Timeline was marathoning it (and I HATE feeling left out), I hit play on the Pilot episode on Netflix.  I was immediately hooked…not just by the fact that Amell was shirtless  in practically every episode (talk about knowing the audience) but by the characters and the writing and the emotion of it all.  This show was actually GOOD and I was all in, constantly torturing Beth with texts about my feelings.

Amell’s face may have gotten me to watch Arrow, but I stayed for the feels.

A week and a half later…I had watched the first two seasons.  Halfway through my binge, I texted Sage saying ” I think I have to recap Arrow.  CRAP.”

So here I am…attempting to recap yet another hour-long drama all by myself.  I have a death wish, clearly.

Because “The Calm” aired on the eve of NYCC, I’m combining it with “Sara” both for my sanity and the fact that I think the combination of these two episodes perfectly showcase the running theme of the season…the life Oliver wants vs. the life he chooses, both out of duty and of fear.  In “The Calm” we see Ollie trying to embrace normalcy…crime in Starling City is at a low and Team Arrow is riding high thanks to their defeat of Slade.  Everyone is shiny and happy.  Oliver and Felicity have moved completely from the stolen glances and long looks to outright flirting in the span of time since we’ve seen them last.  That “I love you…do you understand?” moment may have been staged for Slade’s benefit, but everyone knows that Ollie was speaking truth, no matter how much he denied it.  Oliver and Felicity had always had very little concept of personal space, but they took to a new level in this episode.  The flirting is blatant from Felicity essentially buying Oliver a love fern to Oliver’s joking that she should have bought him a bed instead.  Have I mentioned all the casual touching? Oh YES…all the casual touching.  Face pats, shoulder grasps…like I said, they’ve abandoned all pretense of not being into each other…which is why Diggle, captain of the S.S. Olicity, essentially begs Oliver to ask her out already (“You love her, you told her so.”), just so everyone can be put out of their USTy misery.

When Oliver does finally ask her out, it’s adorably awkward (“Like a DATE date?”) since it’s one thing to dance around each other with all the flirty banter but it’s an entirely other thing to actually ACT on the attraction.  It’s precious and they both walk around with shit-eating grins after it happens.  Ollie suggests Italian for dinner WHILE in the midst of a high-speed chase.  He walks away from a meeting with Quentin with a giant smirk when he says “Got a hot date or something?”.  He wears his freaking date suit under his Arrow Costume…and he walks in and sees Felicity sitting there in her beautiful dress, he’s completely dumbfounded.  Honestly, I spent most of the episode screaming into my pillow. (Again…HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?)  Oliver and Felicity are both predictably nervous when they first sit down…like I said, it’s because they both know that this is very real and it’s actually happening.  Felicity babbles in her adorably awkward way (“I’ve seen you shirtless.  All the time”) and her babbling is just what they need to break the ice.  Then Oliver drops this truth on her:

“The entire time I was gone, I could never trust some one. And for the entire time that goes on, and you don’t see people… and when I decided to come home, I didn’t know how to turn that off. And then I walked into your office. You’re the first person I could see as a person.  There was just something about you…”

Much has been said about this confession already, and there’s very little I can add to it to further explain how every single Olicity shipper felt in that moment.  Me?  I went straight to my Ultimate OTP when he said this…obviously I went to Mulder’s hallway confession to Scully in Fight the Future.  “You kept me honest…you made me a whole person.”  Felicity has been that person for Oliver from the moment he came into her office the first time. (“I was chewing a pen.” “It was red.” #leavemeheretodie)  She is Oliver’s heart and she MAKES him want more…which terrifies him.  Oliver’s Hong Kong confession was such a MASSIVE step forward for him, so because this is Arrow, naturally, a missile is fired into the restaurant not long afterwards.  Oliver instantly flips their table and dives to shield Felicity with his body (SWOON) but she is still hurt.  In that moment, Oliver starts to shut down.  When he says to Diggle that he lost his focus he is essentially saying “Think you can have it all Oliver Queen?  Not so fast.”   (Also how fitting [and hot] was it that Oliver fought himself when he was drugged? THEMES.)

“We have to talk” is the WORST thing to hear from the guy you like (I MEAN LOVE) which is why Felicity keeps putting it off as soon as Oliver brings it up.  She knows him too well…she knew as soon as she woke up bloody in the Foundry that Oliver would back away from her, whether it be from fear for her always being in danger if she is WITH him or the fear of truly giving in to her.  What’s WONDERFUL about Felicity as a character is that she has enough self-respect to call Ollie out on his bullshit.  When they both go to see Diggle and Lyla and their newborn daughter (DADDY DIGGLE THOUGH) it’s like seeing the life they COULD have laid out before them.  While that moment fills Ollie with sadness (Let’s take a moment to appreciate Amell’s acting…he’s SO pretty, but he’s also SO good at conveying all his thoughts in one look.  It’s actually not fair that he is that pretty and that talented), it fills Felicity with determination.  It’s not enough for Oliver to plead “Don’t ask me to say that I don’t love you” (HE LOVES HER AND IT’S REAL) and for him to kiss her (inhuman noises) and essentially ask her to keep waiting.  “Stop dangling maybes,” she insists.  She knows that she deserves more from him and just knowing isn’t enough anymore.  They made things real by going out on a date and now that she KNOWS that he loves her, she has the strength to ask for more from him.  And when Oliver doesn’t give it to her, she walks away.  The events of that hallway scene drive her actions throughout “Sara”.  More on that later.

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“You get one free pass.” – Scandal Gif-Cap

Scandal 4 x 04

“Like Father, Like Daughter”

Posted by Kim

Well it had to happen…Fitz finally got Olivia alone and made the moves on her.  Sigh.  We got three solid Olitz free episodes though!!  Elsewhere we dive into the LOVELY world of teenage sex tapes.  TO THE GIFS!

We open with Jake in a dark parking lot.  He sees a bomb under his car, walks away and explodes it.

Olivia bought them dinner and it’s really sweet how much she is trying to have a normal relationship with Jake.

Olivia gets a call…and it’s the underage First Daughter…drunk, vomiting, and in her bra and panties.  This can’t end well.

Meanwhile, Cy spends some cuddle time with his prostitute.  This will ALSO not end well.

Huck shuts down all the cell service at the party so they can get Karen out.  Like a boss.

“What are we doing?” “Getting you into college.” So many college really frown on the underage partying you know.

“This isn’t a job, this is a favor.”  Keep telling yourself that Olivia.

“I just needed a night out!”  This whole situation is feeling very Chasing Liberty gone bad.

“I just saw the dirtiest sex tape I have ever seen in my entire life and it stars his teenage daughter.”

“Can we do this later? I’m still really wasted.”

“What they did to me? What about what I did to THEM?” Karen may be troubled, but she owns her sexual power. Also was anyone else annoyed that Fitz went straight to rape when talking to her?

“Every girl is someone’s daughter.”

“You are a zombie army of two under the command of Olivia Pope.”

“As far as making you feel small, I don’t do that to you. I suspect jealousy does that to you.” Cy dropping truth bombs on Abby.

Fitz opts not to tell Mellie why Karen is REALLY at home.

 The official hashtag for Karen’s party was #Swagapalooza.  Why this isn’t the hashtag for the wedding I am going to tonight, I will never know.

Rowan to Secret Service Sneak Tom:  “I’m disappointed in you.”  As in I’m mad you failed to kill Jake.

“Look at my face.” Guys…you know what I have to do.

ARE YOU DISRESPECTING THE HOUSE OF POPE?!

Jake shows up right after Rowan leaves. Creeper.

“You may not trust me but you KNOW you can’t trust him.” DOES NO ONE WATCH THE X-FILES?? LISTEN TO MULDER.

“Liv….where did you go?”  Fitz turns on the puppy dog eyes. DON’T GIVE IN LIV!

Liv lies and says that she went away alone.

“Oh hi.  Am I due for a good threatening?”  Even as he wrestles with his guilt, David’s snark is delightful.

David is doing some day drinking cause his brushes with the dark side are weighing on him.

“Your morality means NOTHING!!” Jake says, as he threatens to snap David’s neck. Yikes.

Mellie sees Olivia in the hall and the way she screams her name is EVERYTHING.

“Hello, Mellie.  Got some new boots there? A new color?”  Cy adorably tries to avoid the situation.

“I want to know why the HELL you’ve got Olivia Pope in my house.”

“This is not her family. This is MY family.”

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“And we all know there ain’t no cure for that.” – The Mindy Project Recap

mindy project how it's done

Season 3, Episode 5: The Devil Wears Lands End
Posted by Sage

I went to state school, so I have a lot of experience both with beer pong and with crying to get out of stuff. I know the glory that comes making the impossible shot and I know the satisfaction of neutralizing a problem by playing on the average human’s distaste for confronting emotion. But I gave them both up a long time ago. (Mostly.) Not Peter and Mindy.

We’re finally getting somewhere with the Peter-Jeremy-Lauren love triangle, by putting the focus back on Peter and Jeremy’s friendship. The fact of Lauren can’t be changed – she exists and Jeremy is seeing her. Having Peter hold a grudge against Jeremy forever (no matter how warranted) does not a good TV show make. But men have always found camaraderie on the field of athletic competition. With his regular partner at his dad’s funeral (“My frat buddy Pubes is dead. Dead to me.”) the weekend of his reunion beer pong tournament at Dartmouth, Peter seeks out a replacement at the office. Against all odds, boarding school alumnus Jeremy proves to be the man for the job. (“As a child, it was my job to throw ice in Father’s drink.”)

Ed Weeks is a truly funny actor and has stuck it out through some uneven material on this show. I’m glad he has, because when Jeremy is on, he is on. I nearly spit out my drink when Dr. Reed busted out his American frat boy impression, flawless in both execution and enthusiasm. Not only does Jeremy pass as a brother, but he passes as the good-natured, non-predatory type – the one who’s really there for the friendship and conveniently has all his study group meetings during hazing sessions. I would totally hang out with Barf. “Sink it for the troops!”

TURN DOWN FOR WHAT

Jeremy is well aware how much brotherhood means to Peter, but he doesn’t really get it until he’s immersed himself. Jeremy doesn’t talk about his boarding school buddies in the same way – there, it was every man for himself. But sweet, all-American Peter believes in the sanctity of the group as a whole. His fraternity brothers are higher than even family – unfortunately, no one clued Peter in to the fact that self-servers are everywhere. He takes Jeremy’s betrayal so personally not just because it was a first-class dick move, but because it’s a part of a pattern. (“Classic Lefty.”) His frat nickname refers to something far more embarrassing than his preferred masturbatory hand. Every girl he’s ever really tried to have something with has left him for one of his bros.

Writing ShondaShonda Writing 2
The Peter Party needs a big win tonight. And unfortunately, it comes at the expense of the bragging rights of one Shonda Rhimes. The real-life Dartmouth alum’s cameo was a total delight – now Mindy needs to make an appearance on one of her shows. Maybe Annaliese Keating can defend her against the charges of any number of the illegal acts she’s committed in the course of the series. Anyway, I hope someone has fic-ed Shonda’s Peter Prentice pilot, the one the network deemed “too sad.”

Mindy Mayor of Shondaland

While Jeremy and Peter buried the hatchet, the rest of the practice dealt with the consequences of Mindy making a terrible impression on their new department chief. Dr. Jane Fishman (Niecy Nash, yay!) “is not here to make friends, [she’s] here to make babies,” and so she is not amused when Mindy makes everyone late to the meeting and then lets her phone ring an uncomfortable amount of time. (Check how Danny bops his head along to “Fancy,” though.) Fishman’s retaliation is to schedule all the Schulman deliveries at the most undesirable times. And there’s just no way Danny Castellano can be his best self at 11pm on a Sunday while performing a C-section with “a gutful of Mom’s lasagn.” Mindy’s simple fix is to befriend the new boss with a night on the town, which seems like a decent idea since Jane is new to the city. (“I’ve been spending every night at the Statue of Liberty because I assume that’s what people do.”) She’s charmed by the nude couples massage and Mindy’s enthusiastic collaboration with some subway dancers (“They really hated it.”) – a little more charmed than Mindy had intended. (“Boom shakalaka: we’re best friends.”)

Mindy project jane kiss

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