“A Wry Sense of Humor” – Paul McGann at LI Who 2

Sadly, he did not do this in our interview.

Posted by Kim

When we attended Long Island Who 2 last month, I was lucky enough to get a press badge and had the pleasure of interviewing several of the VIPs attending the convention.  Okay, I demanded to have a press badge.  LUCKILY.  The co-Headliner of the convention with Sixth Doctor Colin Baker was Eighth Doctor (and certified Head Over Feels Crush) Paul McGann.  As Sage was unable to attend the Press Sessions, I got Paul all to myself for eight minutes and he proved to be as delightful one-on-one as he is entertaining a room of thousands (if not more so, cause all of that charisma is directed SOLELY at you).  Over the course of our all-too-brief time together, Paul and I discussed spoiler culture (he hates them, proving he is a perfect human), female Time Lords (he is PRO Female Doctor, you guys!), and the glory of the word “wry”.  Read on!

(And then congratulate me for not spontaneously bursting into flame during the interview.)

Paul settles in with a steaming cup of Tea because, of course.

Kim: I’m Kim, by the way.

Paul: Hello, Kim. I’m Paul. (He shakes my hand and it’s perfect.  Not to hard, not too soft.  Also, he uses both hands, so really, it’s a hand GRASP. )

Kim: I was at Gally and obviously you talked a lot about “Night of The Doctor” there…can you talk about how hard it was to keep that a secret from everyone else?

Paul: Well, it’s actually this week last year.

Kim: I know! Happy Anniversary!

Paul: It was released on my birthday, that’s how I know. This time last year we were still…what…2 or 3 days away from seeing it, but having to keep it a secret.  For some of us it was easier than others.  I know for me…all I had to do was not tell anyone! That’s the simple thing.

Kim: Were people trying to get it out of you by asking if you were going to do something?

Paul: All the time, All the time! Though looking back now not surprisingly…there were already leaks and fragments of things appearing on Twitter and social media.  People were posting little bits of dialogue which were DEADLY accurate.  There were photographs…we KNEW that somebody out there had fragments of it, pieces of it…or the whole thing.  It’s kind of disconcerting, I don’t really understand it.

Kim: I HATE spoilers!

Paul: I don’t understand the spirit of it! I don’t get it. I would NEVER do that. It’s like with records…it’s easy for technicians who’ve got copies of things, for them to leak them.  Things are getting transported around.  Just think about the stacks of people who might work on a thing that’s only six minutes long.  There’s visuals, there’s special effects, people have copies of it on their hard drives.  It’s a shame.  The REAL shame, I think, is that it becomes more and more difficult in this age…

Kim: (completing his sentence, so we’re basically married) To surprise people!

Paul: Yeah, to surprise people!  Even to keep and fashion a cliffhanger worth the name [of Doctor Who] because SOMEONE’S going to spill the beans.  Even with the conflict in scheduling and the transmission across the Atlantic has made it difficult…

Kim: For Americans. (Again, married.)

Paul: Yes! (imitating fans) “No, I KNOW you’ve seen it, don’t tell me, don’t tell me, don’t tell me!”

Kim: Are you caught up with Doctor Who so I don’t spoil YOU?

Paul: I watched the latest one, yes.

Kim: While the episode was filming, there were pictures of the Cybermen ALL OVER the internet.  It would have been so much more of a surprise because there were all these subtle hints throughout the episode OF the Cybermen (Paul “mmmms” in agreement the whole time).  Anyway, what do you think about the twist of the Master coming back, especially since your Doctor faced him as well.  Now the Master is a woman! What do you think about that?

Paul: I think it’s…kinda cool. (*whispers*) I really like it. I’m real fond of, particularly at these conventions, and when we meet the fans and everyone is singing the praises of Doctor Who and the nature of the stories and the latitude and the luxury that you’re accorded. It’s limitless almost, the variations of things.  When you’re at the helm like Steven Moffat is presently, you can do whatever you like.  The BEAUTY of it is you’re playing with time, you’re playing with all sorts of different changes.  And then you’ve got the novels, which are almost like alternative histories.  And you have the radio plays which have their own flavor. It’s as BIG as that. I was amazed, though I probably shouldn’t have been, when I looked online, cause it’s caused some people to become TERRIBLY upset and CONFUSED [by the Master being a woman] and have mixed feelings.  Blimey! (Yes, he ACTUALLY said that.) Of course, I was one of those who rather thought they missed the trick by not making the Doctor a female this last time.  Inevitably, it will happen.

Paul was very Pro-Moffat, despite his actions in the Fiveish Doctors.

Continue reading

“The Tart of Staten Island” – The Mindy Project Recap

Sounds slutty the mindy project

Season 3, Episode 9: How to Lose a Mom in Ten Days
Posted by Sage

I expected dozens more Clueless references in a episode that saw Mindy setting someone up for her own personal benefit. Annette is Mindy’s Mr. Hall. And her problem isn’t a C in Debate, it’s not being able to take an erotic bath with her “beloved sex partner” without his mother barging in to drop casual hints of eternal damnation. How are Danny and Mindy supposed to have a horny autumn when they have no privacy?

the mindy project horny autumn

The only way to get Annette off of her back is to get her on hers, Mindy decides. So she goes about setting her future mother-in-law up with sweet, boring old Dr. Ladro. (GOPHER FROM THE LOVE BOAT, Y’ALL.) Up until that point, the only action Ladro was getting was from Grade A suck-up Jeremy, who’s on a mission to charm a hefty list of patient referrals out of him. Unfortunately for him, we know from experience that a Mindy scheme trumps a Jeremy scheme every time.

It’s sweet to see a battleaxe like Annette all girlish and giddy about her first date since 1974. After Danny’s dad left, she sealed herself away into her life with her boys and stayed there so long. It’s clear that she doesn’t regret her choice. But now she’s relieved and exhilarated to realize that she still has options ahead of her. Just like Cher Horowitz, Mindy can accidentally spread joy by doing something “90% selfish.” Mindy’s addressing Annette’s loneliness because it’s a thorn in her side, but at least she’s noticing it.

mindy plow through

“Did you cheat on me?”

Of course, Mindy neglects to tell Danny that she’s distracting his mother from their sex life by getting her her own. Not the most well-thought-out plan, but I’m Team Mindy here. Yes, I’ve zoned out in meetings and daydreamed about coming home to Chris Messina sitting on my kitchen counter wielding flowers and a perfectly roguish smile, but his apology is a bandaid on a gaping wound. Mindy can’t ask him not to see his mother as often as he does – she knows that whole story better than anyone in his life outside of the Castellano tribe – nor can she keep on living in a world where her sexts are always intercepted by Annette.

mindy project sending nudiesmindy project nudies
Little did Mindy or Danny know that Annette was a secret freak. Instead of settling in to a harmless monogamous routine with ace gardener Dr. Ladro like she was supposed to, Annette decides to play the field. Her reentry into the dating pool dovetails horrifically with Morgan’s. Lately dumped by Tamra, he moves his entire desk into Peter’s office, much to Peter’s chagrin. (“No. No Moregon.”) Driven to the brink by Morgan’s post-break-up woe, Peter sets him up with a dating profile. Cougar Wannabe, meet another potential “creepy Norman Bates-style son-husband.”

mindy tamra look at his body

“I look at all men like that. I’m kind of a pervert.”

This turn of events seriously bums me out. The show pulled the plug on Morgan/Tamra a little too quickly for my taste. What of Morgan’s long-standing crush on her? Did we lose Ray Ron for this? I know Julia Stiles is coming on board for a few episodes as another Tookers love interest, but I hope that Tamra’s regret (“I feel Bell Jar as hell right now.”) means that we haven’t seen the end of Shulman & Associates’ other star couple. We’ve barely scratched the service of their individual weirdness, let alone the full strength of their weirdness combined.

mindy project another fathermindy project another father
When he finds out, Danny is less bummed-out about this thing and more…inhabited by a holy fury. Obviously, Morgan’s involvement in Annette’s sexual reawakening was a total wild card that no one intended. But Mindy’s initial idea, while not entirely selfless in motivation, at least made Annette happy as a byproduct. Danny tends to ignore his mother’s agency, as it suits him to pretend that she’s a delicate flower he has to protect from the world. The reality is that Annette Castellano is a tough son of a bitch and perfectly capable of making choices without her son’s approval. She poured all her femininity to motherhood for decades, and now it’s time for the fun part to come back out and play. (“You’re a saint, Ma. Not the BS kind like Mother Theresa.”) She’s already learned some valuable lessons about online dating in the 21st century. First, that sometimes that rando guy you match with isn’t so random. He knows people you know and everything will inevitably get uncomfortable. And second, that blue-eyed black guys are most definitely not real. Good luck out there, Netty. May you find a beloved sex partner of your own.

Random Thoughts/B-Stories

  • Mindy uses a Scarface reference to get Danny into the tub because he’s an Italian-American male between the ages of 15-50.
  • I too don’t understand the lasting appeal of Sophia Grace and Rosie.
  • “You’re like a Navy Seal, babe.”
  • I hope there’s a list somewhere in the writers room of bizarre things Beverly can do at her desk.
  • “Who’s this Kate Uptown?”
  • Morgan’s dog photo gallery.
  • “No, the Safari Vixen collection. Can white women wear that too?” Dot for President.
  • “Tell your arches it’s Judgement Day.”
  • Shameless plug to go vote for the Head Over Feels Most Handsome Young Man of 2014 before polls close on Sunday. Perhaps for this guy? I don’t know. He’s alright.

mindy project danny shirtless

 

 

Would you let Morgan date your mom, readers? Sure, he’d be outwardly sexual with her in front of you but – on the bright side – he’d always be up to have a catch. Let me know in the comments.

“Don’t look back.” – Sleepy Hollow Recap

sleepy choose my own path thank you

Season 2, Episode 10
Magnum Opus
Posted by Sage

Now we’re getting somewhere.

The first piece of Sleepy‘s two-part winter finale felt like a return to form for the show. The original Team Witness and Friends are back together – not physically yet, but at least all working towards the same goals in the same episode. (What a novel idea!) Last week’s “Mama” was the highlight of the season so far. And its revelations – especially those regarding Lori Mills’s role in the battle against Moloch and the legacy of the Dixon bloodline – are further paying off in “Magnum Opus.” Crane and Abbie know now that the weapon that can vanquish Moloch is out there somewhere. And Abbie can continue fighting the good fight knowing that there are at least two people in her world who believe without question that she has the ability to stop this war. Let’s get to this week’s rankings.

#ShippyHollow

sleepy wooden puppet boy

After dealing with a revolving door of third wheels, Crane and Abbie are back in their private friendship bubble this episode. Jenny is busy shuttling Irving across the Canadian border; Matt Barr is busy auditioning for a pilot. The stage is set for maximum Biblical life partnering.

The task is to identify and collect the foretold weapon; unfortunately, Grace’s journal isn’t going to give over all the information the witnesses need just like that. So we open on a blocked Abbie and Crane, playing some Heads Up in an effort to shake the synapses loose. It’s friendly and intimate and now my second favorite TV sequence this year to utilize this game. The exercise isn’t the only parallel. Crane is about as literal as Sherlock Holmes (“He was a Liar-in-Chief!”) and Abbie is indeed a pretty lady.

sleepy hollow abbie heads up

Try not to ruin ALL Abbie’s memories of her second grade social studies play, Crane.

Turning back to Grace’s writings, Crane and Abbie do their tag-team deducing thing. And despite the fact that Crane’s real wife just appeared to them through the mirror in the archives in yet another move she really didn’t think all the way through, the Witnesses seemed to be the true smug marrieds, judging by their shorthand bickering.

“Thank you.” “Not you, Grace’s code.”

Blah blah blah, “the chosen words of fallen angels.” Yada yada, “Enoch’s sword.” I’m not going to spell out how they got there. The point is that Methuselah’s Sword is what Crane and Abbie are supposed to be looking for. For those of you playing along at home, Methuselah is a figure in the Hebrew Bible who was said to have lived for 969 years, probably thanks to his trusty demon-killing sword. Somewhere out there, Dan Brown opens a new word document and cracks his knuckles. I hope Tom Hanks hasn’t throw out that heinous wig.

Grace’s journal also includes an encoded map to the sword, one that Abbie works out by recognizing its resemblance to the historic “Join or Die” political cartoon. It’s essentially a treasure map and Crane could not look more giddy about it. (He just wants to play pirates. He’s such a boy.) But his face falls when he remembers something vital: “This prophecy says that we will definitely die if we do not know ourselves completely.” And doubt has sort of been a running theme for Ichabod this season. Ruh roh.

Crane doubts himself. He doubts Katrina – he’s said as much. But he never doubts Abigail Mills. Mind games are the most dangerous weapons in Moloch and Henremy’s arsenal. They play on Crane’s guilt for abandoning Jeremy (even though he did so unknowingly), his growing uncertainty about Katrina, and, in this episode more than any other, his “betrayal” of Abraham, his best friend and brother-in-arms. We needed those flashbacks of Crane and Abraham as they were in Britain and in the early days of the colonies. They had a true friendship, and Abraham encourages Crane to move to the new world simply because he wants him there. (“Are you meant to teach history or to make it?”) Perhaps if Crane had remembered a more morally suspect Abraham, he’d have an easier time of it. But the reality is that their origins are the same. The war tested them. Sleepy Hollow tested them. And they came out drastically different men on the other side. I know I apply this Dumbledore quote everywhere, but I don’t CARE, because RELEVANT: “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” Still, Crane lets Abraham’s words rattle him. Is he as good a man as he’s always believed? Abbie knows. “Life is a series of choices,” she tells him. “You chose to be a patriot and a hero.”

sleepy through your eyes

*Sprouts wings and flies away* BYE.

I believe I’ll save a recording on my phone of Queen Abbie demanding I “TURN IT AROUND” to play every time I dip into shame spiral.

Meanwhile, Abbie is having her own crisis of faith. (Again, the witnesses only ever question their own fortitude – never the other’s.) Turns out that the sword is being guarded by a snake-headed gorgon (obviously) and that every other seeker who went looking for it was turned to stone. Among them, they find a petrified woman who could be Grace Dixon’s daughter or granddaughter. And between that sight and what Abbie went through last week in learning the real story of her mother’s life and death, she wonders aloud if she’s fated to meet the same end. “Is it my destiny to die here too?” Crane gets down to her eye level so that she can see how sure he is. “No…banish that thought, Lieutenant. You are here to finish what they started.” He speaks calmly, but fiercely, and we can tell that Abbie not surviving is the one outcome he cannot even consider. Once they find the plaque marked with Dana Scully’s tattoo and have their plan in place, Crane takes another moment to try to get across to Abbie how special she is. He gives her a look weighted with so much tenderness and meaning that it almost floored me and says, “If she were here now, your mother would be very proud.”

In the end, it’s the strength of their partnership that gets the sword in their hands. Instead of looking at the doomed treasure hunters around them as proof that they will fail, they see the forest for the trees. “What do we have that they didn’t?” “Each other.” Even the prophecy ships it.

For a partnership that can overcome the deepest personal doubts, I give this episode 8/10 fist bumps for shippiness.

#CreepyHollow

sleepy hollow headlesssleepy hollow headless
Why does it always have to be snakes?

Dark and dank crypts are sort of the norm here in Sleepy Hollow, so it’s not even the setting that brings the true creepiness this week. Instead, it’s the guardian of the sword and her (?) minions. Gorgons are like the polar opposite of Weeping Angels. So blink. Blink frequently. In fact, keep your eyes shut all together.

Crane identifies their enemy fairly quickly, and they use Abraham as a decoy to sneak back in to the gorgon’s chamber. See? Sometimes it’s useful to have a psychotic headless enemy following you around. The gorgon is another triumph of the Sleepy effects department. It looks powerful. Like if its stare didn’t do the trick, it could just straight up kick your ass. And that’s essentially what happens when the gorgon and Abraham get into it.

While Crane holds Abraham off (playing on his honor again, clever boy), Abbie is left to choose the right sword from among dozens. It’s all very Indiana Jones, though we don’t have an archeologist on hand to help us select the true grail. (Andy Dwyer: “It’s the dusty one.”) There are no immediately discernible clues and time is running out. Abbie grasps one, and it and the rest turn into SNAKES. I HATE SNAKES. GO AWAY, SNAKES. She keeps it cool – as you’ll remember from past enchantments, Abbie’s true fear is maggots. And dying young like all of her ancestors. But also maggots. Still, room o’ snakes is enough to keep me indoors for the rest of my life. I don’t care how many weirdos claim that “they’re great pets.”

Also creepy-styles was Katrina’s conversation with her son. She confronted Henremy with the secret hope that she’s held throughout her captivity: There is good in him and there is humanity. She’s right, Henremy confirms. But his answer is way more disturbing than a flat out “no.” He knows that he has the ability to access that part of himself. And he fights against it every day.

Katrina: “You cannot deny that humanity within you.”
Henremy: “I can and I do with my every breath.”

Money’s on the wrong horse(man? Ha.), Katrina. Hate to say we told you so, but we don’t mind doing the dance.

Snakes can feel free to leave this planet entirely. 6/10 Sandmen.

Continue reading

The Head Over Feels Most Handsome Young Man 2014

Posted by Kim and Sage

Let me be up front about this: the decision we are asking you to make here today is not an easy one.

Unlike People Magazine, Head Over Feels has a three-year tradition of leaving the crowning of our sexiest man up to our readers. (Not publicists. No offense, Chris Hemsworth.) Those of you who voted in our past races will note that we’ve changed the name of this title. And with good reason. While we were originally inspired by our dissatisfaction with People overlooking fandom and fringe sex symbols, our annual poll is its own thing. Also, we’re keen on People not suing us. (Hahahah, People. As if this website made us money instead of bleeding it from our bank accounts.)

The Most Handsome Young Man* mantle has a storied history in this blog, as we once chased Joel McHale down an empty midtown street and forced a trophy declaring this into his hands. He dubbed the honor “wonderful…and creepy” and we can only hope that this year’s winner will feel the same.

mchale thoraxis

Joel got double the bragging rights after voting closed in our first annual HOF poll and he was our readers’ choice as well. He shared the honor with sexy elf king Adam Scott and your taste in wry and handsome boys was fully confirmed.

ben wyatt smile

Our 2013 champ was declared after spending the majority of the voting period in a dead heat with the eventual runner-up. (Who, perhaps, you’ll see somewhere below…) The Sleepy Heads are a passionate group, and we adore them for it. They took up the cause and their spirited campaigning resulted in Tom Mison and his sass-brow besting his competition.

mison what i need

So here we are again, friends, on the verge of declaring this year’s Most Handsome Young Man. It’s a fitting time to do this thing, since these six guys are what we’re most thankful for this year. Explore your options carefully (trust us, you’ll want to.) and then make your selection at the bottom of this post. We may have chosen the nominees, but this is your poll. Feel free to cry, cajole, and campaign, all in the name of your favorite. Voting will close on Sunday. We’ll be here watching – rubbing our hands together and laughing manically. Good luck.

–Sage

*P.S. Please don’t sue us, Community. Someone once called us “the soul of the fandom.”

Ben Affleck

HEY BAT MUSCLES.

We’ve made our feelings about Ben Affleck known here at Head Over Feels.  Let it be known that Ben has always been handsome.  He’s a founding member of the Handsome Men’s Club.  He’s a former winner of that Sexiest Man Contest run by that OTHER magazine that we won’t mention anymore.  Everyone KNOWS that Ben Affleck is a handsome man.  So why now?  Why THIS year?  Because like a fine wine, Ben Affleck just gets better with age.

The new Bat Muscles certainly help, but what makes Ben Affleck truly sexy is the sense of ease that he has with himself now (well, that and how he is going salt and peppery. That always helps).  The man has been through the paparazzi wringer and has come out the other side more confident and self-assured.  Back in the days of Bennifer 1.0, you really got the sense that Ben CARED what all the headlines said about him and how the public viewed him.  He reeked of (adorable) desperation.  But Ben Affleck 2014? He pokes fun at himself, as seen in the above gif, where he is recounting the internet reaction to his casting as Batman.  He smiles a lot more now (and they are geniune smiles).  He doesn’t give a fuck what you think of him.  Boom.  HOTTER.

Bros talking about their junk.

Lest you think we only care about personality here at Head Over Feels, let’s talk about the much vaunted nude scene in Gone Girl, shall we? Sage and I saw Gone Girl opening night at our favorite movie theatre on 84th street (guys, the seats are literal recliners) and spent the entire movie anticipating the Full Ben.  Then the shower scene happened and I was too busy admiring the carved-out-of-marble ASS to even see the goods.  So I have THAT to look forward to with the DVD release.

Sage saw the goods though…and assured me they were lovely.  Mazel Tov, JGarns.

Handsome with a beard.

Handsome with stubble and a chunky sweater. ALSO HAIR.

In Summation, you keep doing you, Ben Affleck.  You’re one HANDSOME son of a bitch, sir.  We’ll be there opening weekend to see you kick ass as Batman and prove all the haters wrong (even though, let’s face it, the movie is going to suck cause Zack Snyder is in charge).

— Kim

Stephen Amell

amell arrow

Fail this city. I dare you.

A relative unknown before he salmon-laddered into our hearts, Stephen Amell is the soul of Arrow. Sure, he looks like a hero. But the twist is that he’s also so damn good. Kudos to Arrow for demanding that we take it seriously and to Captain Amell for being a clear team leader.

amell wink

The thing about Stephen Amell is that he cannot be real. History tells us that people this attractive don’t have to be kind, and indeed, can usually bend the universe to their will with one tiny muscle movement, like the one above. Amell is chiseled right out of some ancient Greek marble, yet he spends his Friday afternoons gleefully sharing fan art on his Facebook page. He’s mobilized his fans to raise nearly $1M for cancer research so far. And he spoke for all of us when he called DC’s shunning of its lucrative TV franchise and the re-casting of Barry Allen as “bullshit.” Where did this guy come from?

amell salmon ladder

When trying to convert new Arrow fans, I appeal to their basest instincts first. Oliver Queen spends a lot of time “training.” (Read: stripping down and getting sweaty.) Lest you wonder if there are some CGI’ed muscles behind those one-armed push-ups, Amell often posts videos of him working out on social media. Because fan service is the lord’s work. Also, Kim and I jumped on the chance to take a photo with him at New York Comic Con. So we’ve had arms around him. Trust us. He feels man-shaped coiled rope.

amell baby

We can’t even be mad that he’s taken, not with the world class DILFing inherent in every photo he posts with his baby daughter. Amell is a man twice in love and there are few more excruciatingly attractive qualities a dude can have than desperate devotion to his little girl.

amell olicity kiss

Finally, I’ve got to acknowledge Amell’s role in one of the great ships of 2014. Olicity is one of those organic wonders – born of the chemistry between Amell’s Oliver and Emily Bett Rickards’s Felicity. It’s a modern iteration of the +classic hero/love interest dynamic. We get all the romance of daring rescues (Oliver is fond of picking up Felcity and swinging on things, Tarzan-style) plus the satisfaction that Oliver is just as reliant on Felicity as she is on him. Their first kiss was the stuff fan videos are made of – look at how his hands cover almost her entire face. It’s so delicate, but so sure.

do you understand amell

Amell plays Olicity scenes with such quiet intensity that it’s impossible not to flail. (Those piercing blue eyes certainly help.) And Oliver’s ardor is trumped only by Amell’s own feelings about the ship. Diggle may be the on-screen captain, but Stephen Amell is off. He feels it, you guys. Do you understand?

–Sage

John Cho

cho hollywood reporter

Two episodes into Selfie and I was sure of two things:

1. The show was too beautiful to live.
2. John Cho’s fine self simply had to be on this list.

We’ve known John Cho since he cornered the market on friendly stoners in the American Pie and Harold & Kumar series. But, like fellow nominee Ben Affleck, he’s all grown into his sexiness these days. That vest. That salt and pepper hair. Get a load of this Cary Grant bastard.

cho photoshoot

George Clooney would like his eye crinkles back, please.

There’s something appealingly old-Hollywood and sophisticated about John. I bet he only wears flip-flops in gym showers and always drinks good coffee. He looks like he knows his way around a wine list. Now excuse me as I retreat to my mind palace, where we go to foreign films together and he always lets me hold the truffle butter popcorn.

cho selfie grown accustomed

He’s built to grace our lives as a romantic lead. Unfortunately, until the quick-draw nature of network decision-making changes, we can’t have nice things. Everything about Selfie’s untimely cancellation is tragic, but especially the loss of the all-too rare casting of an Asian-American in a leading man role. Paired with our girl Karen Gillan, John made up half of one of the most charming budding relationships in recent TV memory. In adapting My Fair Lady, the show took on some problematic gender roles. But John imbued Henry with an underlying sweetness and vulnerability that helped to smooth out the bumps. The trick is that Henry and Eliza are equally inept – their strengths balance out the other’s weaknesses. “I’ve grown accustomed to your face” is still a killer line. And let this be another lesson never to overlook the quiet, bossy dudes. You never know when they’ll hit you with a move like this:

cho selfie

Weird. There used to be oxygen in this room.

Let’s not forget John’s too-short stint as doomed Andy Brooks on Sleepy Hollow. He made being a servant of a hell-demon bent on bringing about the apocalypse look good. I bet Abbie kicked herself for not getting at least one date in before he sold his soul.

cho sleepy hollow

His adaptability means that John looks comfortable in all situations, whether he’s having a bedroom dance party with Eliza and her babysitting charge or slipping into the Captain’s chair on the Enterprise. You remember that moment, right? His Sulu stepped up when the situation demanded it, all capability and self-assuredness. I guess I want my men flinty and determined, what can I say?

cho born ready

TV hasn’t been as good to John Cho as John Cho has been to TV. But despite our collective failure as a media-consuming society not to nurture promising comedies, we’ll always have Paris. (Paris=single seasons of Go On and Selfie.) And John can rest easy, knowing that – network success or not – no one can take his handsomeness away from him.

–Sage

cho kiera knightley cheekbones

Continue Reading

“A Fitting Legacy” – Sleepy Hollow Recap

Posted by Kim

Sleepy Hollow Season 2, Episode 9

“Mama”

Greetings, Sleepy Heads!  I’m super late in posting this recap, so let’s get right to it, shall we?  “Mama” was a densely packed episode filled with details about Abbie and Jenny’s troubled past and their relationship with their mother Lori. It fully utilized the ENTIRE cast (okay, maybe a little short on Ichabod, but he’s done the heavy lifting as of late, so it’s fine) and was packed with GENUINE thrills.  Basically, it was the best episode since the season premiere.  To the ratings!

#CreepyHollow

Considering that Tarrytown Psych is practically a character on the show, it’s amazing that it took 22 episodes for Sleepy Hollow to explore the whole “Haunted Asylum” trope.   Building on the new trust established in “Deliverance”, Reyes calls Abbie in to investigate a rash of suicides at Tarrytown (“If I had handed this to someone else you wouldn’t have given me a moment’s peace.”).  (Also SEE important things happened in “Deliverance”.)  Much to Abbie’s horror, when she and Jenny (HI I MISSED YOU AND YOUR EYEBROWS) review security footage, they see the ghost of their mother Lori Mills in the room with all the patients right before they kill themselves.  Question: was anyone ELSE able to see Lori on these tapes?  If so, I think Reyes could have phrased it better when she put Abbie on the case (“Hey, Mills, the ghost of your crazy mother is killing people at Tarrytown, can you look into that?”).  This case forced Abbie and Jenny to face their demons, literally and figuratively as they grappled with their feelings regarding their mother and Abbie had her eyes opened to just exactly what Jenny went through while she was an inmate (“I can’t imagine what it was like for you.”  “You learn to deal with the abuse.” UGH my heart.).  What’s the most interesting about the sisters in this episode is how they automatically revert to their childhood roles, with Abbie being the protector of her little sister.  I’ll get into that more in the Shippy Section.

As Abbie and Jenny delve further into the case, they come to realize that their mother is NOT the one responsible for killing all the patients at Tarrytown (thank God, cause they have enough issues with Mama without her being a mass murderer).  Instead, they discover that it is the super sweet (and therefore super creepy) Nurse Lambert (wonderfully played by Hope and Gloria‘s Cynthia Stevenson) who is dosing patients with a sodium pentothal cocktail and then playing on their despair in order to drive them into taking their own lives.  (She would have been friends with The X-Files‘ Robert Patrick Modell, yes?)  Lambert was executed in the 50’s for being an “Angel of Mercy”, so her ghost has been wandering around the halls of Tarrytown, preying on the weak for decades (but seriously, how are they JUST NOW taking notice of this?”).  She tormented Lori, who despite fighting valiantly, eventually gave into her taunts of calling her a bad mother and killed herself (I am grateful that Abbie and Jenny learned this at least, so they could start to get some closure).  In “Mama”, Nurse Lambert set her sights on Frank Irving, so if shit wasn’t personal with Lambert and Abbie before (HA! It was SO personal), it sure is NOW. Let’s talk about Frank for a second.  It’s amazing that despite his soul belonging to Henremy and being stranded in Tarrytown by a terrible storyline that Frank has managed to maintain both his integrity and a shred of hope that everything will work out for him.  After all, he did this to save his family, and he would do it again.  So I think it’s interesting that despite her reputation for preying on the weak, Nurse Lambert goes after the two STRONGEST characters on the show (Frank and Abbie) and tells them to end it all, that they are “soul(s) that are crying out for it”.  (Abbie’s response to that? “Go to Hell, Bitch.” #Queen) Lambert attacks both Frank and Abbie at their very foundations, and it was TRULY terrifying to see Frank despondently get into the industrial bathtub and tie himself to the bottom.  (Again…sorry for the screaming, neighbors.)  I think Frank serves as an interesting parallel to Lori here, as they are both fundamentally strong characters battered down by their circumstances and the hopelessness that surrounds Tarrytown Psych.

“Some of us are not strong enough to bear the burden,” Lambert sneers at Abbie as she compares her to Lori.  But you know who IS strong enough to bear the burden? Grace Abigail Mills, that’s who.  Like her mother, Abbie never stopped fighting against Lambert, even as she was forcibly having her mouth opened to swallow the pills (Seriously, this episode was the stuff of nightmares because it had SO MUCH grounding it in reality).  Unlike her mother, Abbie was not alone in her fight, and that made all the difference.  As we have long suspected, magical ability DOES lie in the Mills Family, as Lori directs Jenny to a journal that has a hex that can banish Lambert from whence she came (the journal dated back to Grace Dixon.  Remember her?).  While Jenny performs the hex, Lori protects Abbie with everything that she has, just as she did while she was alive.

Three are better than one, bitch. Science.

Thanks to Sleepy Hollow’s own Nurse Ratched, I bestow “Mama” with 9 out of 10 Sandmen.

#SassyHollow

The sass in this episode principally comes from Sickabod Crane, who is sidelined from the action by a dreadful cold.  Sickabod is everything you would want him to be.  He’s in denial that he’s actually sick, claiming he fought battles while suffering from dysentery.  He’s petulant, refusing to rest and drink the fluids Abbie gives him (Abbie:”It’s quiet time now.”).  He struggles to open child-proof bottles (It’s okay, Sicky, we all do).  Basically, he’s struck down in the “pribe of libe”.

Are you saying you don’t want to get with this?

Sickabod also discovers the wonders of Matzo Ball Soup in the episode, thanks to Hawley (though I prefer Egg Drop Soup when *I* am sick).  In typical Ichabod fashion, however, he refuses to give Hawley the satisfaction of knowing that he was helpful, declaring the soup “somewhat comforting”, despite the look of sheer ecstasy on his face.  None for you, privateer.  NONE FOR YOU.  Hawley fires back at Sickabod, calling him “Mr. Woodhouse”, proving my theory that he sits at home researching  potential nicknames for Ichabod, because you can’t tell me he is THAT well versed in Jane Austen.  Also, now I need to see Tom Mison playing Mr. Knightley, please and thank you.

Continue reading

“You better listen to Meatball.” – The Mindy Project Recap

mindy project breaking bad

Season 3, Episode 7: We Need to Talk about Annette
Season 3, Episode 8: Diary of a Mad Indian Woman
Posted by Sage

Welcome to a very special two-for-one The Mindy Project recap! Let’s pretend that this was the plan the whole time and that I wasn’t forced into this by my own over-scheduling. It’s not the end of the world; “We Need to Talk about Annette” and “Diary of a Mad Indian Woman” make a nice little set of TMP episodes, being as they are about Danny and Mindy’s ongoing efforts to fit the puzzle pieces of their lives together.

The former dealt with the places where Mindy and Danny’s codes of ethics just don’t add up. Mindy has the same outlook towards little white crimes as I do (“It’s not against the law if everybody does it.”), while Danny is – to no one’s surprise – more rigid. (“We go dancing, I make sure the club has a valid cabaret license.”) They have to reconcile these two views when Mindy takes Annette shopping and Danny’s Maverick dream of a bomber jacket walks out the door with them.

Special shout-out to Annette and Dot, the Golden Girls of Staten. I hate that we’re neglecting Mindy’s coworkers this season, but I can’t hold that against these ladies. I wish I were 35 years older, so I could tag along with them to Synchronized Seniors Aqua Disco and Passion of the Christ movie nights. (“This is my favorite part – Judas is getting his coins.”) It also makes sense to have Annette be witness to, if not always the source, of Danny and Mindy’s conflicts.

Mindy has no issue with “victimless” crimes like movie torrents and anime pornography. Her honor code comes into play when Danny might get hurt. He’s delighted that his “two best girls” are getting along, then Mindy is forced to decide whether or not to tell Danny that the new crown jewel of his wardrobe is hot. “Hot” like stolen, I mean. But also “hot” like let’s lock the door and put on “Take My Breath Away” and see what happens.

the mindy project danger zone

The Annette/Danny/Mindy dynamic doesn’t feel old yet, because the alliances shift. Sometimes, Annette is solidly on Mindy’s side. (“I used to listen in on his confessions – so boring…I’m glad he’s with someone who pushes his buttons.”) But she also counts on the endlessly forgiving, look-the-other-way nature of her “little Blue Angel.” The struggle of dating a mama’s boy is real. After Mindy uncomfortably broaches the shoplifting topic with Danny (“I just wanna say that your mom’s keepin’ her body real tight.”), he invites her to a Catholic shame dinner, to reap the guilt that her inaccurate though not entirely baseless accusation over Tamra’s missing charm bracelet deserves. (“Mindy doesn’t understand social mores – she’s from Boston.”)

keep calm and don't mention

She brought up the thing even though Jeremy warned her not to bring up the thing. (Jeremy, from the motherland of not mentioning the thing until everyone who knows about the thing is dead.) But even Danny can’t hold up his mother’s side of the story when the blue security tag on his bomber jacket blows. Bolstered by old-world righteousness, he marches his girls back to the store. But first, he apologizes to Mindy for doubting her. He should know that she’d never make up a story like that without cause, because it certainly didn’t earn her any points with either Castellano. Despite being somewhat abused the whole episode, Mindy saves the day at the store. When it’s clear that the management is taking the theft a little more serious than they expected, Mindy challenges Danny and the “do the crime, do the time” philosophy he internalized early through mass and Dragnet reruns. Annette is family. The rules don’t apply to her, or to Danny and Mindy’s drunk trust fund kid, who’ll need occasional rescuing from the White Party.

look like mindymindy eyes up here
Meanwhile, we and Peter had to bid a cheese-covered farewell to historic romance novelist Abby Berman, who seemed like Dr. Prentice’s ideal woman. Their nights of crazy sex were not followed by mani-pedi appointments, brunch, or visits to passive aggressive sisters (“What’s this monster you’re describing?”) but with “hard lemmies” and “outlandish football bets.” Even Tamra is quite adorably on board with Peter and her best friend hitting it off. Who knew Tamra cared about any of coworker’s love lives or general happiness? Unfortunately for those of us who adore and appreciate Allison Tolman (that better be all), the momentum of Peter’s sprint into adulthood is holding steady. He’s figuring out that he has all kinds of choices and that Abby’s non-stop party lifestyle not necessarily being right for him doesn’t mean that their time together was a waste. They had fun, she’s great, no one got hurt. What a grown-up break-up.

Continue Reading

Dancing On My Own – Scandal Gif-Cap

scandal dancing

Season 4, Episode 9: Where The Sun Don’t Shine
Posted by Sage

All the fixers who independeeeent. Throw your hands up at meeee.

Scandal winter finale….go.

“Liv, we will find him.”  Liv sits silently watching Jake and Fitz plan, looking not at all confident that they will.

2 broke girls dead inside

“Did they show it to you? The place where your father kept me? Did you see it?” Mama Pope is back! And she’s got some complaints about the accommodations at Chez B6-13.

this house is a fucking prison

“Murder, terrorism, treason, to start…As for my father, hunt him, find him, and kill him.” You heard the lady.

twd butcher or cattle

“What did you do to him?” Ugh, Huck’s kid is kind of a crybaby tbh.

crybaby

“And the vice president…” “Of the United States?” Not the conspirator you were expecting.

joe biden ladies watch out

“There’s a special place in hell for woman who spout that entire quote to support their bad behavior.” YOU BETTER LET ‘EM KNOW.

scott pilgrim deserve each other

“Elizabeth is in bed with your vice president. Both literally and figuratively.”

ewan yeah a lot

“‘Explicit gay sex’ is how we’re describing these photos.”  You’re not wrong.

jgl well said

“So,  Cyrus would basically own me.” “As opposed to just renting.”

west wing sam and his prostitute friend

“A kill card is the shut down procedure for B6-13.”

sherlock thinkn i'm going to die

“Doesn’t the fact that we could go any minute make you just want to affirm life, Robin?” We all saw this coming.

karen fun place to sit

“We need a fingerprint.” “Well, we do have a finger.” Quinn uses a severed finger to trick the scanner, like it ain’t no thing.

it crowd more normal

“I don’t need a gun, why would I need a gun?” I don’t know, maybe because of all the people who want you dead?

sociopath

“The sun went down a long time ago and it’s not coming back up.” Poetry.

south park kanye

Andrew and Lizzie Bear have sex in her office. Gross. (Show me more.)

golden girls want details

“Most important document of his presidency – completely artless.” Everyone’s a critic.

the office keep it simple

“Today, sir, I’m a joke. A punchline. I’m of no help to you.” Dammit, Cyrus.

jerry pie parks

“Thank you for your service, Cy. It’s been an honor.” I don’t think anything that happened in that White House could be called “honorable,” but I’ll let him have this one.

hunger games salute

“Is it true that you’ve been subpoenaed by the Attorney General?” Abby has to be deposed by her ex. That won’t be at all awkward, surely.

simpsons awkward

“Do you have an alibi for the night of March 25th?” “Yes.” “Who?” “Leo Bergen.” AW SHIT.

tyra banks damn

And now, a brief slow jam interlude. “Myyyyy endless looooooveeeee…”

beyonce jt dancing

CHARLIE HAS QUINN’S CARD. Duh doy.

dany betrayed me

“What are you doing here?” “Songs in the Key of Life. Remember the first time I played this for you?” Actually, trying to forget everything about you, psycho dad.

erasing you eternal sunshine

He pulls a gun on her. “SIT.” So, we can call this charade officially over then?

like a father

“You can’t disappear, become a normal person. Because dad? You’re not normal.”

hey weirdo scrubs

“COULD YOU BE MORE UNGRATEFUL?”

30 rock don't be so dramatic

“It is your life that is sad. It is you who cannot be normal. It is you who has no comprehension of love.” I don’t know, guys. Haven’t we been having this same conversation for 6 or 7 episodes?

frozen don't know what love is

“So what? Your stomach turns every time you look at me? Well let me be the one to break it to you, Olivia. You are simply looking in the mirror.”

heidi don't look good

“Olivia? Watch yourself.” She picks up the gun. She won’t do it, but I wish she would.

breakin bad do it

She pulls the trigger – there’s no bullet.
“Are you kidding me Are you kidding me? You just shot your own father.” 
MIND GAMES.

don't play games with me

“Stevie Wonder sang. And you were out in ten minutes. No matter how hard you try to deny it. You will miss me when I’m gone.”

gonna miss me so bad

“Oh, crap. My tooth.” “The new one?…I can’t kill you Robin.” “You hurt me.” “You hurt me first.” Aw. Their twisted relationship actually saved her life.

knows me darkly

“You ruined Huck’s life.” “I guess I can…unruin it.” Charlie kept some B6-13 files for himself. Not Huck can prove his story to his wife.

himym references

“You have a phD in his crazy. You must have some idea where he is. Where he’s gone. I WANT SOME ANSWERS NOW.” Olivia still thinks she can squeeze something out of Mama.

gossip girl crazy bitch

“Girl. You need to move on. All you two do is talk about each other.” I cheered when she called Olivia “boo.”

your love is weird

“Cry me a river, Livvie. WHATEVER.” 

mad men wah wah

“I’m thinking Europe. They have a long history of accepting failure and disgrace.” I hear there are some openings in Genovia.

princess diaries fall

Continue Reading

Fan Video Friday – Twelve and Clara

12 clara

Posted by Sage

In the barren TV landscape of summer, we brought you several Fan Vid Fridays – curated collections of the best (and most devastating) fan videos on YouTube. Now, don’t get too attached. The on-season means that Kim and I are drowning in recaps on a weekly basis. There’s no way we can bring you these posts with any kind of regularity between late September and mid-May. (At least not until someone pays us to do this all day.) BUT. But. We are dropping an extra special November edition of Fan Video Friday for you today, in the name of our new favorite May-December (LATE December) romance. Welcome aboard the S.S. Twelve and Clara.

Doctor/Rose has ruled Head Over Feels since the day this little blog was born. Series 1 and 2 planted this pairing right next to Mulder and Scully on the top of my ship list, and I’ve been stunting for them ever since. How could I ship Eleven and River when the Doctor was clearly still thinking of Rose? I didn’t need another love interest for that regeneration and I’ve been happy to take some of his more wistful comments as proof that one of his hearts was in another dimension. (“This isn’t a ghost story. It’s a love story.”) That was the truth of that character for me.

But then Steven Moffat cast Peter Capaldi as the Twelfth Doctor. This all started because the pre-show buzz was so aggressive about insisting that there would be no flirting in this relationship and that this regeneration was no heartthrob and YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, BBC.

Kim was making fun of me the other night because my dream man is at least 30% emotionally unavailable. (Feelings – when not about TV couples or fried chicken – are gross.) I think I see why in Capaldi’s Doctor and in the other fictional men I idealize. (Josh Lyman, Fox Mulder, Danny Castellano.) Twelve is not effusive. He barely tolerates company. But he needs Clara with him. He desires her company alone. He’d go to hell for her, and he wouldn’t even go to the mailbox for anyone else. There’s something romantic about that, if not particularly healthy. Clara, for her part, is a mess with this guy, which makes her vastly more interesting than Eleven’s Little Miss Perfect. Other features of this ship include alluring age and height differences, and intense eyes on both sides of the equation. No convinced yet? These videos should do the trick.

“Maps”

I clicked on this video, assuming the wait-they-don’t-love-you-like-I-love-you “Maps.” Instead, it’s an acoustic version of the Maroon 5 track by a mystery female vocalist. (Anyone recognize her? Comment, please!) It’s the perfect song to showcase the tumultuousness of this Doctor/companion relationship.

“Cross My Mind”

Lighthearted Twelve/Clara videos exist! I dare you not to smile at this one from beginning to end. It’s set to a jaunty Twin Forks song (“Why don’t you stay for a while/it’s been too long since I smiled/There’s too few people I trust.”) and highlight’s the Doctor’s adorable uncertainty about where he stands with his friend.

“Stay With Me”

Inevitable and yet, so necessary.

“Demons”

In which Clara is way more attracted to the darkness in this Doctor than she’d ever admit. Also, I never before realized how much sexual tension is in the look they share over Danny’s head at the TARDIS door in “The Caretaker.”

“Love Like This”

Let’s all live in denial, where Clara Oswald will never leave us.

“Wonderwall”

You just can’t go wrong with setting a heartbreaking montage to Ryan Adams’s moody cover of “Wonderwall.” Prepare for lingering looks and lots of slow motion.

Continue Reading