“Don’t pretend this is about me and my emotions.” – Agent Carter Recap


Posted by Kayti

Agent Carter Season One, Episode 4

“The Blitzkrieg Button” 

Some showrunners might not take time in the midst of an eight-episode run to introduce us to the chicken pocket, subvert rock solid alliances in subtle, emotional ways, and give a treatise on the mirage that is the American Dream, but Agent Carter did just that this week with “The Blitzkrieg Button.” And it was awesome. I may sound like a broken record at this point, but this show continues to exceed my expectations when it comes to nuanced storytelling that delivers both on the fun, spy thriller front and in exploring its central theme of sexism in an American trying to figure out what it wants to be in a chaotic, post-war period.


I took a class in college called History: Stage and Film. As you may have already guessed, we watched history plays and films (yes, it was as awesome as it sounds), and the underlying theme to the study of each work of art we watched was this: historically-based art will always be more about the period in which it was made than the period in which it was set. This may seem a simple revelation, but it is an important one — especially when dissecting shows like Agent Carter. Peggy Carter may be dealing with displays of sexism more overt (in some ways) than what goes down in modern-day America, but this is a show about now dressed in the trappings of post-World War II America. This was never more apparent than when Howard Stark made his speech about the American ladder, both in its impossibility for most people and the way with which he compared his class background to Peggy’s gender, despite the complex distinctions to their situations.

“Let me tell you, you don’t get to climb the American ladder without picking up some bad habits on the way. There’s a ceiling for certain types of people based on how much money your parents have, your social class, your religion, your sex. The only way to break through that ceiling sometimes is to lie so that’s my natural instinct. To lie. I shouldn’t have lied to you. For that, trust me, I am truly sorry.”

This was my favorite scene of the episode, even if it was a bit on-the-nose and failed to even mention race in what seems to be developing into an unfortunate theme for Agent Carter. Howard is an ally to Peggy in some ways, but that didn’t stop him from lying to her, then using the excuse that he did it to spare her feelings. Howard didn’t tell Peggy about the vial of Steve’s blood not because he didn’t trust her, but because he was afraid that she couldn’t handle it emotionally, which is such a characteristically masculine decision to make because it is not only based on the assumption that Peggy’s feeling would overwhelm her (when Peggy has already proven that she is able to operate in the midst of terrible emotional agony), but the assumption that reacting emotionally is a sign of weakness rather than strength.


The last decade has seen a rise of strong female characters on television: the Starbucks and the Sarah Connors and the Aeryn Suns of the world. The next step in this feminist female character progression needs to include the representation of women who are strong not because they exemplify traditionally masculine qualities such as stoicism and physical strength, but because traditionally feminine qualities such as empathy and emotional intelligence are seen as primary strengths. Peggy Carter exemplifies these qualities. It’s the fact that she is able to do 107 one-armed push-ups that is the aside. (Though that physical strength does come in handy when taking out all of those goons, and these two forms of strength are not mutually exclusive.)

Anyway, back to the plot! Agent Carter subverts our conditioned expectations again with the Howard Stark storyline. Not only does Howard prove guilty of the same gendered expectations as Peggy’s co-workers at the S.S.R., Peggy doesn’t let him off the hook for it. She doesn’t back down when she realizes that he has lied to her and used her. The episode has that back-to-back scene juxtaposition when Howard and Thompson are presented as two sides of the same sexist coin. In their own ways, they admire Peggy, but always with a gendered asterisk. These male allies Peggy has aligned herself with may be assets — both professionally and personally — but even the seeming best are products of their time, and therefore run up against their socially-constructed understanding of the opposite sex. That is depressingly realistic (both for the time period in which Agent Carter is set and the time period it is really about, i.e. now), but it is also totally refreshing to see portrayed with such nuance on a broadcast show — or, you know, any show.

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“Big wheels keep on turnin'” – Sleepy Hollow Recap

sleepy hollow duet
Season 2, Episode 14
Kali Yuga
Posted by Sage

It’s been a rocky few weeks for the Sleepy Hollow fandom. Fox hasn’t issued a season three renewal yet, but did manage to throw out a few frightening comments about the show’s future at the TCAs. (Serialization? Hm.) But take heart, Sleepy Heads. It’s ain’t over until the immortal she-beast claws you with her poison talons.

Want to do your part to support the show? Share your favorite moments, quotes, gifs, and Sleepy origin stories on Twitter with the hashtag #RenewSleepyHollow. Witnesses, represent.

Let’s get to the rankings.


sleepy hollow carmilla

Hawley is summoned away from his double karaoke date with Crane and the Mills sisters (more on that later, obviously) by one of his regular contacts for a trade. When he shows up to this week’s dark, empty lot, he’s shocked to be met by Carmilla Pines, a face from his past. (Jaime Murray aka Lila, Dexter‘s “English titty vampire.”) The trade was a set-up. Hawley clearly wouldn’t have shown up if he knew who he was meeting, and is disinclined to help Carmilla with whatever she’s planning. “Is that any way to greet the woman who raised you?” she asks. Jaime Murray doesn’t look like she’s old enough to have even babysat Matt Barr, but IMDB tells me that she’s eight years older than him, so fine. Also, way to keep it tight.

sleepy hollow carmilla

Dermatologists hate her.

Carmilla and her menacing man servants are in town to break into Theodore Knox’s estate. (Yes, that Knox.) Hawley is usually up for an adventure – especially one that results in a payday – but something happened between these two that leaves him uninterested in the proposed heist. Being a woman who’s used to getting what she wants, Carmilla takes this opportunity to transform into a black-eyed, razor-teethed demon. “You owe me, Nicky,” she says, calmly. “Time to repay your debt.” Uhhhh, sign him up, I guess.

Back at the bar, Jenny worries about Hawley, which simply must be the reason she didn’t fully appreciate Crane’s awkward-turtle sea shanty. True, Hawley has a reputation as being somewhat…unreliable. (One minute he’s there, the next he’s off on the Millennium Falcon, taking another crack at the Kessel Run.) But karaoke night is sacred, and Jenny knows something is up. Just as she convinces her companions of this, Abbie gets pinged by the silent alarm she had installed at the archives. Scooby gang, mobilize.

They find the archives ransacked. Jenny pursues the perpetrator into the tunnel and finds Hawley, obviously terrified. “Back off, Mills. She’s desperate and she’s dangerous.” Seeing the intruders, Carmilla transforms again and speeds away like Barry Allen. Team Witness is left to make sense of what they just saw.

The next morning over breakfast burritos (bless), Crane, Abbie and Jenny confer on next steps. Ichabod suggests that they loop in Katrina to get her take on the liquid residue left by Carmilla’s toxic mani. Too late. Abbie’s already had it analyzed, since, being a cop, she has access to a chemical lab and doesn’t have to rely on half-assed witchery to get its breakdown. (But what about the science, Mulder?) Crane recognizes the acidic combination and scurries his cute butt to one of the shelves still conveniently upright to grab a book. Carmilla is a pittala, a Hindu spirit that serves the goddess Kali. And to make things extra difficult, she possesses immortality, inhuman strength, and super speed. (Duh.) But they can’t identify the exact threat that she poses until they find out what she and Hawley swiped from the archives. The crew decides to “divide and conquer” this bitch. Crane and Katrina will sort through the mess in the hopes of finding a clue that will lead them to Hawley. And the Mills sisters? They’re off to intimidate some poor bastard.

Hawley’s shifty associate McKenna gives up Carmilla’s name, under Jenny-initiated duress, and identifies her as the dangerous kind of treasure hunter. Meanwhile, the Cranes figure out (HOW) that the stolen documents are the plans for Knox’s vault. (Seriously, they must have the mother of all card catalogs.) Information conveniently in hand, Team Witness sends Katrina back to her cabin to think about what she’s done (like, in life), so they can crash a fabulous mansion party. Knox’s “overweight, entitled” descendant (that was way harsh, Jenny) hosts a couple champagne-fueled black market exchanges a year – basically an invitation to be robbed blind.

Crane is waylaid by Knox and his over-enthusiastic appreciation of Crane’s beloved crossbow. (What if Daryl Dixon got a load of that thing?) Unaware, Abbie continues on to the rich man’s vault. Jenny runs into Hawley and appeals to his better nature. They can fight her, together. But Hawley is in Carmilla’s emotional chokehold and has decided to accept her shady-ass story on why she needs the Kali statue. He looks almost resigned as she strips Jenny of her phone and locks her away in a closet. And that’s the story of how Hawley died.

Kidding! Abbie finds Carmilla in the vault holding her precious statue and wastes no time in getting a shot off. But as the description of a pittala includes the phrase “faster than a speeding bullet” (I’m paraphrasing), the effort is in vain. Carmilla grabs Abbie, holding her venomous fingernails against Abbie’s neck. Finally free of cocktail chit-chat, Crane appears and aims his crossbow at Carmilla. (“Harm her, and you will seal your fate.” SWOON.) However you feel about him, let’s hear it for Hawley’s quick thinking in this moment. He inserts himself in the center of the standoff and exchanges his loyalty for the witnesses’ lives. White boys: they’re not all bad.

Prize in hand, Carmilla and Hawley head over to one of the Hollow’s many vacant warehouses to toast their success. But, surprise! His scary demon-godmother actually wasn’t super upfront with him the whole time, if you can believe that. She doesn’t want to be a human. She wants to use the statue to transform everyone else into a pittala, starting with her former charge. (“You’re gonna love death, Nicky.”) And also, she’s roofied his drink. And the statue is crying tears of blood. I’m 99% sure we’re offending someone’s culture right now.

I don’t know, I’m kind of OD’ed on femme fatales at the moment. 3/10 Sandmen.


sleepy hollow jenny bad cop

Jenny Mills, how I’ve longed for you.

One day we’ll look back on the first 2/3 of this season much like we do the second season of Friday Night Lights. Remember when Landry murdered a guy? Remember when Jenny Mills wasn’t a prominent feature in every episode? What was anyone even thinking?

I love that reformed troublemaker Jenny is our tour guide to Sleepy Hollow’s underbelly. (A position that we very much didn’t need Hawley to fill.) I love the look of desire and fear that that the greasy undesirables of that world get when they see her. And I love that she’s free to slam full-grown men onto their own glass countertops without repercussions while her cop sister keeps it (mainly) above board. (Look at the complete lack of surprise in Abbie’s expression.) I could still do just fine without her mooning over Hawley. It remains way out-of -character, no matter how many times we see it. I audibly groaned at her offer to come with him when he left the karaoke bar for his meeting. For god’s sake, Jenny, play it cool. With the way she pursues him sans encouragement, you’d be likely to forget that she’s got pretty much every ex-con in town tied in knots over her. But it would seem that those days – fuck yes – are now over.

sleepy hollow mary poppinssleepy hollow miss poppins
In other sassy corners of the episode, Katrina redeems herself ever so slightly by proving herself more willing to declare feminism than pop stars born centuries after her. Crane clearly read Kim’s reference in last week’s recap and decided that it was time for Miss Poppins to make her way into the actual show. (And for him to mansplain her to Katrina.) You know he was sitting there amongst the archive debris, daydreaming about a song-and-dance number that would set everything right in 3.5 Disney-fied minutes. Perhaps he was still high off of his karaoke debut, a plodding, Revolutionary-era number that left his Peach Pit audience (Abbie excepted) underwhelmed. (“Perhaps I should have done the one about the bass, ’bout the bass.”) So, to summarize. Ichabod Crane’s likes: Julie Andrews, Megan Trainor; Ichabod Crane’s dislikes: Peaceful warrior.

sleepy hollow yoga class
sleepy hollow yoga class

Mary Poppins was kind of a bad bitch. 5 Donut Holes for this one.

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“May You Stay Forever Young.” – A Ranking of The Braverman Clan

Posted by Kim and Sage

Tonight we say goodbye to Parenthood and the wonderfully messy and complicated Braverman family. Fiercely beloved by the few who watched and not watched by NEARLY enough people, Parenthood has definitely been one of the best family dramas of the past decade.  Parenthood never focused on convoluted plots but instead found the drama in the simple everyday things.  Sure there were major life events and struggles like cancer, infertility, and infidelity but Parenthood also excelled in exploring the little moments like getting the kids ready for school every morning or how siblings can drive each other crazy.  It’s WHY it has the capacity to make us ugly cry every week…because we see ourselves in the Braverman Clan.  Their struggles are our struggles.  Parenthood has always been about its characters and their relationships with each other.  So what better way to send this show off to that giant TV in the sky (where Pushing Daisies is in its 7th season) than to rank the Bravermans in order of awesomeness?

With apologies to Hank, who becomes a member of the Braverman clan tonight, we kept it to spouses and offspring of the Bravermans only.  So don’t yell at us for no Hank.  We LOVE him.

– Kim

18) Sydney Graham

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It’s not entirely Sydney’s fault that she is the worst.  She was Joel and Julia’s only child for nearly 9 years and she was clearly pampered and indulged for all of it.  However.  The way she initially couldn’t stand Victor being around stealing the spotlight from her?  The way she taunted him and insisted that she was there first? The way she became a mean girl calling classmates fat and not apologizing for it?

Yeah, Sydney’s the worst.

– Kim

17) Aida Braverman


Aside from the fact that she magically changed from a very white newborn (Crosby even SAID “She’s so white!”) into a very African-American toddler, Aida Braverman is SUPER cute, y’all.

– Kim

16) Victor Graham

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Joel and Julia’s son joined the family in season four, and his adoption ceremony was a beautiful instance of the Bravermans opening their arms to an outsider in need. He gets points for forcing the family to acknowledge their considerable privilege, but went down a few pegs when his deep-seated issues were completely solved with ice skating outings and regular homework help.

– Sage

15) Nora Braverman


Baby, Cute. Delivered in part by her Uncle Crosby, so has every advantage in growing up awesome.

– Sage

14) Jasmine Trussell

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Ranking Jasmine was a tough one. Crosby’s baby mama and eventual wife has made some last-minute plays for our affection this season, and that hasn’t gone unnoticed. But I’m remembering that Jasmine used to have dreams outside of her husband’s, and I wish she’d spend an equal amount of time fighting for those. Hopefully that glimpse of her teaching at Chambers means that Crosby will look at the close of The Luncheonette as an opportunity to let Jasmine shine. The Trussell-Braverman School of Dance, anyone?

– Sage

13) Drew Holt

Oh sweet little emo-boy Drew…what a polished and confident young man you’ve become.  Drew’s always worn his heart on his sleeve and that’s never changed, even after everything he’s been through (the abortion storyline with Amy was one of the most sensitive portrayals I’ve ever seen on TV).  And now from the way he wants to take care of his sister and her baby to snitching to Camille about Zeek’s plans for Paris, it’s clear that he’s well on his way to being another rock in the family to serve as the perfect counterbalance to the free spirits.  You done good, kid.

– Kim

12) Sarah Braverman

I LOVE Sarah, so don’t take this ranking as us hating on her.  I’ve just always found her a little problematic as a character, mainly because most of her stories have always had to do with her romantic entanglements.  Seriously…they went back to that Mark Cyr well too much.  Remember when she was a playwright?  What happened to that?  I understand that in a show when the majority of your ensemble is coupled up that you need to explore a character being single, but Sarah became DEFINED by her various relationships instead of standing on her own.

One thing about Sarah that has never been in doubt is her abilities as a mother.  Sarah, Amber, and Drew have been through the wringer together and Sarah has never wavered in her deep love for her children.  I love the independence that Sarah gives her children and the way she allows them to make their own mistakes.  She always stands by them even when she feels like they are making wrong choices (like Amber and Ryan’s engagement, for example) and her door is always open to them when they need her comfort (Drew seeking her out during the abortion storyline…she just saw him hurting and instantly wrapped him in her arms).  Lauren Graham will forever be associated with Gilmore Girls and you can’t help but see Lorelai and Rory 2.0 in her relationship with Amber (as scene partners, Lauren and Mae Whitman have the same kind of quick-fire rapport she had with Alexis Bledel).

I think it’s interesting that the impetus for the pilot was Sarah moving home with her kids and now the series is closing with her wedding (and she’s a grandmother!).  (Also, let’s take a moment to appreciate Ray Romano’s performance as Hank.  How he didn’t have Emmys thrown at him I’ll never know.) Earlier this season, Camille described her eldest daughter as her “rootless child”.  (Really? More than Crosby?)  In coming home, Sarah FOUND her roots…they had been there with her family all along.

– Kim

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“A Steel Trap of Friendship Nuggets” – Parks and Recreation Recap

Posted by Kim

Parks and Recreation Season 7, Episode 4

“Leslie and Ron” 

Our long national nightmare is over at last.  Leslie Knope and Ron Swanson are friends again.

Parks and Recreation turned in one of its finest half-hours in “Leslie and Ron” and I was left a sobbing mess on my couch wondering how in the Hell I would ever put my feels into words.  It’s an honor as a new Parks recapper to be gifted with this episode but it’s also a burden.  Leslie and Ron’s relationship is the true heart of Parks…more than Leslie and Ann and more than Beslie.  An episode with JUST the two of them working through their issues and Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman acting their faces off in a perfectly written duet?  As many have said, It’s Parks and Rec’s version of “The Suitcase”.  No biggie.  I knew as soon as I watched it that Sage was going to be bummed this wasn’t hers.  I offered it to her, but she is a flawless and generous blog-wife and I QUOTE she “didn’t want to clip my wings”.  So let’s get to it.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  After all the runaround in “William Henry Harrison”, Ben and the rest of the erstwhile Parks Department lock Ron and Leslie up in their old offices, where they will leave them until the next morning.  Ben has had ENOUGH and it’s time for them to sort out their issues. Since it’s the night of the Game of Thrones finale, you know Ben means business.  Tonight, he watches his show on his Iron Throne ALONE. (Which, let’s face it, he probably wanted to do anyway.  Leslie never read the books.)



Everything is disconnected…the phones, the internet, everything.  Ben leaves a baby monitor so they can contact them if there is an emergency or once they sort everything out.  After a very close call with Terry and his keycard (“For once in your life, do something right.”), Leslie and Ron are left alone. Naturally their first instinct is to try to get out, but the Parks Department has gotten super high-tech in 2017 and they have magnetic locks.  Ron threatens to punch through a window, but Leslie (proving that while she talks a big game, she would rather have an alive Ron Swanson she can actively hate than a dead one) stops him because of the security wire in the glass.  “I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 hours,” Ron declares.  And I believe him.  This whole situation is his greatest nightmare.

Leslie says they should just call Ben on the monitor and say they made up.  She can say she’s sorry for heroically caring too much, while Ron can apologize for being a stubborn butt head.  This is all it takes to set Ron off and they launch into the same fight that they have been having for the past two years.  Ron says it’s LESLIE who is the problem and the unreasonable one and THAT’S what they should tell Ben.  Leslie sarcastically counters that they should say she is the deluded one and she’s the one that decided to end their friendship for no good reason, despite the fact that she was the very reason for them being friends in the first place.  I love how Ron flinches for the briefest of moments when she says that.  Leslie’s words cut deep, but Ron (being Ron) refuses to admit it.  He agrees to the story but Leslie impulsively smashes the baby monitor, cutting off their last means of communication with the outside world.


Naturally, Ron finds something to whittle, while Leslie paces around her old stomping grounds marveling at all the changes…and then she gives in.  It’s very telling how quickly Leslie caves and wants to talk to Ron.  She believes in the importance of sentiment and memory and being in her old office makes her realize that she’s tired of this war.  She misses her friend. Desperately.  She wants him back in her life.  And if the friendship is beyond repair, she’s at least going to get down to the heart of WHY it failed.  She knows her perspective, but she finally realizes that she needs Ron’s.  Too bad.  He’s not talking.  No matter what kind of Leslie Knope torture tactic she employs.


Leslie finds a box hilariously labeled “Old Junk” from 2007.  In it there is a mix CD from the Parks Barbeque of 2007.  Because her mind “is a steel trap of friendship nuggets”, Leslie remembers that Ron’s submission was Willie Nelson’s “Buddy”, but instead she chooses to play Jerry’s choice (because he was Jerry in 2007) of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” on repeat.  And she doesn’t know the words. (Does anybody?) This is what finally breaks Ron. He agrees to speak to Leslie for three minutes.  No more, no less.




Even when he agrees to talk to her, Ron still forces Leslie to lead the way because he is afraid of the depths of his feelings.  He desperately tries to DENY them, claiming he and Leslie were only “work proximity associates” when Leslie says they have been friends for ten years.  We all know this isn’t what Ron actually thinks of Leslie.  He just tries to keep telling himself that to make the loss of her friendship hurt less.

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“Fashion show! Fashion Show! Fashion Show at Lunch!” – SAG Fashion Post

Posted by Maggie, with commentary from Sage and Kim.

Let’s get right to the fashion, shall we?  Who do we think we are?  The E! Red Carpet team vamping until the famous people show up?

Best Dressed

1) Julianne Moore

Maggie: Look at this beautiful emerald-green goddess. Full disclosure, I am a sparkle enthusiast (YAY SPARKLES) so I was immediately drawn to this. I can’t get over how perfect this beading is and this shade of green. It is to die for. Can we all agree Julianne should stick to sparkly Givenchy for always and ever? I also thought the purple earrings were an inspired choice and again, I liked her hair down and loose (I do think it kept its shape better than at the A/C-less Globes).

Kim: Red hair + Green = WIN.  I think the FugGirls put it best…Julianne knows she’s running the table here, and she definitely upped her game.  I would still like some more volume in the hair, but it DOES look better than the Globes.  Also I hope she did some serious twirling in this dress cause the beading is like a Dancing with the Stars costume in the best way possible.

Sage: Julianne looked so at-ease. Like she was hostessing a garden party in the Hamptons. You could tell she loved that dress.

2) Tatiana Maslany

Maggie: Tatiana hit almost every button I have: BLACK AND WHITE. STRIPES. (#healthybodyimage) EARRINGS. BIT OF A SASSY PONYTAIL. RED LIP. It is a travesty that she doesn’t attend more awards shows and get all the recognition she deserves for Orphan Black in part because she is straight up killing this red carpet. And how cute was her genuine moment of panic at the thought of doing the mani cam with dry skin? (Girl, same.) I need more Tatiana in my life.

Kim: STRIPES.  I’m obsessed.

Sage: This is dead-on for the SAG Awards. Not glitzy enough for the Globes, a little too whimsical for the Emmys. It’s glam and youthful, without trying too hard.

3) Viola Davis

Maggie: Viola is so strikingly beautiful always but especially in this white gown. I love the neckline and peephole, and she styled it perfectly with natural hair, strong makeup game, and did you see that bracelet? Also, I can’t discuss her acceptance speech without just a lot of emotions. Can Viola give me lessons on how to live rather than how to get away with murder?

Kim: I think Viola has such an exquisite skin tone and this white showcases it BEAUTIFULLY. I love the little pop of color in the earrings that coordinates with her eye make-up.  And agreed re: her speech.  I never want her to stop throwing shade at that New York Times article.  You are a GODDESS, Viola.

Sage: I bow to everyone’s earring game at this ceremony. Viola’s dangles paired flawlessly with this regal column gown. And like my girls here, I think life-long classy rage towards that NYT piece is absolutely warranted.

4) Natalie Dormer

Maggie: The cut of this gown is perfect and I can’t get over the splash of color. I will never be over the splash of color. I’ve seen other people attempt this kind of look but no one has ever gotten it quite right like this. I thought opting for a fresh face without heavy makeup was exactly the right choice, and while I wasn’t crazy about the hair, I do think it worked overall.  She was like the perfect canvas for that work of art gown.

Kim: I DO wish her hair had been up, mainly because I want to see more of this gorgeous watercolor gown.

Sage: Natalie usually plays the bad-ass or the temptress (it’s the eyes), so I definitely see the appeal for her in going totally flowy and pretty every once in a while.

5) Reese Witherspoon


Maggie: This look was pure understated glam and I couldn’t forget it once I saw it. I love the one shoulder with sparkly beading and the cute little sleeve set off the look perfectly. Add in a sassy pony and I’m sold. I think it’s Julianne’s year thanks to Givenchy and her performance in Still Alice, but Reese isn’t going down without a fight. (Although not an actual fight, there’s a lot of love and #ladiessupportingladies in their category this year. Bless.)

Kim: I’m so obsessed with everything about this look.  I love the more conservative front and then the daring back (HER ASS THOUGH).  The ponytail is everything and her face is flawless.  Elle Woods for President.

Sage: Reese has been through this gauntlet already and came through the other side with an Academy Award. This time, it feels like she’s just livin’ it, you know? Maybe it’s because Julianne is such a lock or maybe it’s because Wild was an exercise in learning to let go, but Reese gives no fucks. She is here to party, and so is dat ass.

6) Felicity Jones

Maggie: I didn’t quite get this look at first, I wasn’t sure it was the right look for Felicity. But I kept coming back to it, and I’ve completely reversed my position. Talk about Old Hollywood glam. She’s a pure Audrey Hepburn dream in this delicate pink. I love the earrings, but remain unconvinced about her hair. It’s thisclose to gym hair, or am I crazy?

Kim: It’s definitely gym hair.  Emilia Clarke’s dress was also similar to this, with the crisscrossed top, but I prefer Felicity’s.  When you stop focusing on the hair, she looks like a Peach Princess.

Sage: I’m loathe to disagree with the panel, but I was underwhelmed. The color is sweet, but the criss-cross top actually made the dress look too big on her. Felicity is such a slip of a thing, she has to be careful of volume that swallows her up.

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Live Blogging the SAG Awards!

Posted by Kim and Sage

Awards Season is a marathon and the SAG awards fall at the all important midway point.  The Oscar Nominations are out and the campaigns are in full swing.  A bad acceptance speech can make or break you.  A win can cement your frontrunner status (Best Actor is going to be SUPER important tonight).  Join us in this space for our liveblog of both the Red Carpet and the show itself.


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“One Abigail has guided you to another.” – Sleepy Hollow Recap


Posted by Kim

Sleepy Hollow Season 2, Episode 13

“Pittura Infamate” 

First of all, thanks to all the SleepyHeads who joined us at our viewing party on Monday!  While it was a bummer not to have the karaoke to flail over, “Pittura Infamate” was actually a PERFECT episode to watch in a big group.  This was genuinely the most terrifying episode that Sleepy Hollow has ever done (the bartender commented on the screams coming out of our screening room) and it was also an excellent standalone episode that utilized the entire ensemble.  Yes, Katrina was prominent (yaaaaawn) but she was used effectively and every member of the cast got a moment to shine.  Let’s get right to the rankings, shall we?


The episode opens with a man hard at work on restoring a painting of a man painting another painting.  As there are strange markings on the frame, we know this must be no ordinary painting (also because this is Sleepy Hollow, naturally).  The restorer sees that there is red dripping from the painting…blood.  As he steps back in horror, the whole thing starts gushing blood…and then suddenly it stops.  Was it real or just imagined?

This painting, by artist James Colby, is one of the centerpieces for a gala celebrating John Adams at the Sleepy Hollow Historical Society.  That gala also happens to be a date night for the Cranes (apparently Katrina was BFFs with our second First Lady and I’ll talk about “date night” later).  Once at the gala, we learn that the Restoration Artist, Hollister, is a friend of Ichabod’s, which means he’s clearly destined for death.  (RIP Miss Caroline.)  Hollister is very distressed about the bleeding painting, and tries to get some expertise from Ichabod, but is interrupted by the curator, who is furious about the state of the painting.  Apparently, cracks in frames of colonial art are REALLY embarrassing for a historical society.

Over dinner, Katrina is rather melancholy, as this place fills her with memories of her gurl Abigail.  Ichabod tries to comfort her, saying that he too has experienced this sense of loss and confusion, but Katrina needs to start accepting that they live in Modern times now.  Dinner is interrupted by screams and everyone runs out into the hall to find Hollister dangling from the chandelier by one ankle, his throat slit.  NO FRIENDS FOR YOU, ICHABOD CRANE.  Whodunnit?  My money’s on Colonel Mustard, in the hall, with the rope.

Katrina and Ichabod notice that not only does Hollister resemble the Hanged Man Tarot Card (“Since when do you read the tarot?” “Since someone left a deck in our parlor.  I assumed it was for recreational use.”) but the manner in which he was killed also resembles a set of murders from 1781. Of course they do!  Katrina tells Ichabod that Abigail Adams was very invested in solving these murders but the killer was never caught.  Perhaps this is a chance for redemption?  In typical fashion, Katrina is hesitant to actually DO anything, claiming she wasn’t able to help back then…how could she do so now?  This is what makes me NUTS about her.  I know the writers have said that Katrina is still adjusting to her powers in this new world, but her very lack of desire to do ANYTHING is what is making the fans crazy.  It would be a very interesting story to actually see Katrina struggling but still having the DESIRE to use her powers instead of automatically saying “Oh, I can’t do it.”  She immediately tries to pawn the mystery off onto Ichabod, saying that “perhaps he should call upon his own Abigail”.  (Which, yes, obviously, but you could help out too).  Ichabod says that Abigail would have wanted them to solve this TOGETHER.  What Ichabod wants (I think) is to see the woman he fell in love with….the feisty, take-no-prisoners redhead who called him out on his own inaction, which is WHY he pushes her to solve this mystery with him.  (That treatise probably belonged in the shippy section, but whatever, I do what I want.)

Through their powers of deductions and Katrina’s memories, they determine that Colby was behind the murders in 1781 and that somehow he is trapped in the painting and is trying to complete his work by feeding off the blood from whoever has touched the painting.  That includes Miller and that now includes Ichabod, who in a very Fox Mulder-esque move (“I hope this doesn’t betray my cool guy exterior.”, touched the blood himself.  Ruh-roh.  As they discuss this, they turn and see Colby LOOKING AT THEM from the painting, an evil smirk on his face as the Inverted Cross is more complete.  A moment later, Colby is GONE.  Are we sure this painting isn’t from Hogwarts?


The Cranes endeavor to save Miller, who is Colby’s next victim.  They separate to search for him, which really just means Ichabod looking while Katrina goes through Abigail’s desk, finding secret drawers that no historian ever thought to look for.  She discovers a pile of letters and out of the corner of her eye, she sees Colby’s bloody figure stalking through the halls.  Meanwhile, Ichabod is on Miller’s trail and finds him being literally sucked into the painting.  He almost gets sucked in himself, but Katrina is there to pull him back.  Abigail’s letters reveal that she DID discover that Colby was behind the murders and that she employed Katrina’s coven to put an entrapment hex on the painting to trap him there and that Hollister’s restorations must have broken it somehow.  Ichabod says that if he can get OUT, surely he can go IN in order to save Miller from Hollister’s fate, as the painting now shows HIM being hung from the ceiling by his ankles.  The Cranes take the painting back to Hollister’s office because jumping into paintings is something reserved for a private space or the streets of London with Mary Poppins.  Those are the only options.

Once in the office, Crane presses his hand against the inverted cross in order to gain entry to the painting.  Katrina does the same, saying “No more separating, we do this together,” and it’s the most I’ve ever liked her.  Together they lower Miller down from the ceiling and discover he’s still alive…barely.  Katrina starts saying the hex to bring them back to reality and much to EVERYONE’S horror (this is when the room started screaming for the rest of the scene), Colby starts rising up from the pool of blood from the floor.  Crane yells at Katrina to HURRY and she gets the three of them back to reality just in the nick of time.  Colby is not finished though and he starts to emerge from the painting, grabbing Ichabod in the process.  (Shout out to the special effects team, as this whole sequence was truly spectacular.)  Just when all hope is lost, Abigail Mills kicks down the door and shoots Colby.  When that doesn’t kill him, Ichabod yells at her to shoot the PAINTING, which she quickly does.  Colby is gone for good.

Just typical date night in Sleepy Hollow.

To quote the text I got from Sage after she watched the episode, “That was fucked up.”  11 out of 10 Sandmen. 



Meanwhile, in WHATTHEDAMNHELL land, Abbie is spending some quality time with Grace Dixon’s journal at her desk (our tax dollars at work!) when who should show up the station but Frank Irving…alive and seemingly well.  Everyone at the police station is all “YAY! A wanted criminal has turned himself!” while Abbie just is like “Yoooooooooo…you were dead six weeks ago and no one knows that but me, my sister, my Biblical Life Partner, and his wife” #witnessproblems.

Abbie directly disobeys Reyes’ orders to stay away from Frank, because who needs rules when there is a potential Zombie Horseman of the Apocalypse on the loose?  She still has the memory of Andy Brooks in her head after all.  Later, Jenny says that Frank and Andy are NOTHING alike.  Andy made a deal with Moloch, but Frank?  Frank is their friend and he freaking DIED for them.  Nevertheless, Abbie holds true to the fact that Frank’s soul is not his own and she can’t trust him until she knows for sure exactly what’s going on.  Frank is going to be no help with that, however.  He has zero memory of what happened to him after he was given the sword.  Sadly, it means he doesn’t remember being a bad ass demon slayer, but it also means he doesn’t remember the fact that he did a little thing like dying.  He has no idea that the people closest to him (including Cynthia and Macey because THANK GOD Abbie told them) have been mourning him for the past six weeks.  Orlando Jones was A+ in this scene, expertly portraying both Frank’s confusion and despair.  “You think I’m DANGEROUS? I have no idea what happened to me,” he croaks, with a single tear rolling down his face.  (That lead MOST of Twitter to tweet “SINGLE TEAR”, because we all know where it’s at.  He begs Abbie to bring Cynthia to him because she will know that it’s really him, but Abbie refuses.  She doesn’t want to put Frank’s wife through any pain until she knows exactly why he is there.  Even though you can tell it’s killing her, because she DOES want to believe, Abbie leaves him in the interrogation room.  Frank desperately calls her name while we all huddle up in the corner crying for our fallen captain.


This is why Abigail Mills is amazing…she has the ability to box up her emotions and get the work done even if it’s painful.  (I mean it also makes her emotionally closed off, as she has often said, but that’s why she’s such a complex heroine and it’s why everyone loves her so much.)  She sends Jenny on a mission to fetch some demon killing bullets because she will kill Frank is she has to, friend or not.  She also informs Cynthia of what’s going on because she doesn’t want her to find out any other way.  Abbie protects the ones around her with an unerring ferocity.  Witness represent!

Jenny sees Frank in the halls, both of their faces light up, and we’re reminded of ALL the unexplored potential held in the great ship S.S. BAMF.  Jenny makes it clear that she doesn’t at all believe Frank is a monster and that the bullets she retrieved absolutely MUST be the last resort.  Abbie grimly agrees, but you can already see that she’s steeling herself for the worst.  Frank’s BODY may be physically fine (as his medical tests reveal) but it’s his SOUL she’s worried about.  Us too, Abbie.  Us too.

Later, after chewing her out for disobeying orders, Reyes reveals to Abbie that the D.A. has been given evidence that could completely exonerate Frank.  But…where did he get it?  My money’s on one Henry Parrish.

Still taking bets as to whether or not Frank becomes the Horseman of Famine. 7/10 Golems. 

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“Weird and sad and unnecessary.” – Parks and Recreation Recap

parks and rec strawsparks and rec straws
Season 7, Episode 3: William Henry Harrison
Posted by Sage

Leslie Knope has never been one to give up easily.

With National Parks and Gryzzl going head-to-head as Newport’s final contenders for the land they’ve put up for bid, Leslie is the dog with the proverbial bone. No stone is too small or weird or insignificant to remain unturned; she’s on a mission to find some kind of geographical/historical/anthropological evidence to support the preservation of the family’s fancy acreage. The creeping decrease in the population of Indiana Brown Ants won’t do the trick, nor will an impassioned plea by the Reasonalists. (“Hail, Zorp.”) Leslie decides that victory will come to her via Indiana’s own Ol’ Tippecanoe. Yes, William Henry Harrison – “Barely a President” – is a local boy and once owned a hunting lodge that stood on the land in question. Leslie wastes no time in throwing her boundless manic energy into fluffing this connection up enough to make it feel even a little relevant.

Leslie is a champion of lost causes. So much so that, during the course of this series, she’s nearly had to be dragged by her friends – kicking and screaming – away from projects that threaten to take over her life and leave her depleted. And that’s why it’s so painful to see her be as finished she is with Ron Swanson. Leslie, who can find the William Henry Harrison in anything, can’t find anything in this relationship worth salvaging. Or maybe it would hurt too much to try and then fail.

ben acting like kid parksparks leslie and ron

This stalemate is breaking Ben Wyatt. Ron and Leslie’s vow of avoidance sends Ben (and newly minted notary public Terry) literally around in circles, as they try to wrangle the ex-friends’ signatures for some point-of-sale paperwork. But much like the legendary Shailene Woodley/Morgan Freeman beef, this one is leaving emotional turmoil in its wake. It’s also just plain inconvenient. To not see someone – in a town this small – requires a lot of pre-planning and footwork that leave poor Ben exhausted and confused. Where’s his Pawnee family? I think it distresses him to see them splintered. And I’m willing to bet that he can tell the difference between a Leslie who counts steady Ron among her most trusted advisers and the one without regular access to Swanson wisdom.

parks scrapbooking


Ron and Leslie even each other out. They soften each other’s edges. They’re like those organisms that need each other to co-exist. Without their respective checks, both of them have just become more them. Ron has retreated back into himself. He’s made sure his only “work proximity associates” are ones he won’t be in any danger of forming an attachment to. (Like Roscoe, the VP of Cool New Shizz.) And Leslie has gone Full Leslie, psychotically clinging to the Newport land and dragging her team along with her. She’s latched her star onto Pawnee historian Bill Hagerty, author of a book so boring the description alone made Andy cry.

parks andy possumparks andy put that down

Per Bill’s WHH revelation, disappointment after disappointment threaten Leslie’s relentless positivity. The only signs that a historic hunting lodge once stood on that land are a few rocks, a bag of old cheeseburgers, and Harrison’s old wig, which has gone a little stiff. Undeterred, Leslie sets her sights on the town’s museum to the dead president, and it’s the kind of bizarre, useless landmark that only an April Ludgate-Dwyer could love.

parks famous for one month

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