Season 2, Episode 12
Posted by Sage
Tri-State Sleepy Heads! Together with Liz of Tom Mison Fans, we’re hosting a viewing party for the next new episode, “Pittura Infamante,” on Monday, January 19th. Join us in the back room of Stone Creek Tavern in Manhattan for food, drinks, Ichabbie, and general good times. We’ll even be giving away some Sleepy merch from our Spreadshirt store. Check out the Facebook invite for more info and to RSVP!
That’s it for the first item of new business. Now. On to the winter premiere. But is Sleepy Hollow climbing out of its sophomore slump? Only our very special ratings will tell.
In the conclusion of its fall finale, Sleepy Hollow seemed to be wiping the slate clean, having Henry destroy his unsatisfactory father figure, Moloch. With the main threat to the witnesses and the rest of mankind out of the way, surely things would reset back to normal. But “normal” is a relative term in Sleepy Hollow.
Moloch’s death released all manner of ghouls and beasties from their purgatory prison. And now they’re wandering the town – some in search of a new leader to serve. Abbie and Crane get clued into this state of affairs while strolling through a farmers market (I’ll get back to that.), and creep over to Wilcox Farms under the cover of night to do their Mulder and Scully thing. (Going in blind with no plan and/or back-up.) There, they happen upon a gathering of red-eyed rock monsters performing some sort of conjuring ceremony. The rock monsters are lame villains by Sleepy Hollow standards, but – as we’ll see – they’re just the warm-up act.
No, the true creepiness comes in the form of a black-winged, black-eyelinered angel named Orion, who swoops in like a majestic bird. (Or, as majestic as effects could make him on a budget stretched across 18 episodes.) Orion was stuck in purgatory too – and now that he’s out, he’s on a Will McAvoy-style “mission to civilize.” Wings? Gold eyes? Holy occupation? This must be one of the good guys. He’s even got Xena’s halo-thingy!
But like that song on the 10 Things I Hate About You soundtrack goes, “even angels fall.” Crane is absolutely right to check up on Orion in the archives. An earth-bound angel must have made some sort of impact on history, and this history will tell the witnesses whether or not Orion is to be trusted. In his wake? Famine, war, plague, POMPEII. ABORT, ABBIE. ABORT.
Looking like the sixth member of One Direction, which also helps, Orion nearly wins her over by appealing to Abbie’s hopeful nature and to her pride. (“It is good to meet someone who’s given everything to their cause.”) He even gives her a mini-Xena ring with which to call him if she’s ever in need. And then he casually drops into conversation his plan to rid the earth of the evil of humanity, lancing it “like a sickness of the flesh.” Super.
It’s never not Volcano Day in Sleepy Hollow. Crazy-eyed Fox News angel earns this episode 5/10 Sandmen for creepiness.
If Abbie is too busy with her Biblical life partner and/or the Monster of the Week, let this be my standing offer to serve as wingwoman to Jennifer Mills. I would have run interference on Hawley and left Jenny to flirt about dogs with Mike, the cute, bear-y bartender. (Come back any time, Mike.) I wouldn’t even care that I’d look like a troll next to Get-Some Jenny. Anyone would.
But alas, I wasn’t there. So Hawley is free to entirely salt Jenny’s game by showing up with the Artifact of the Week. The Egg of Asag is the relic of a Sumerian demon who mated with a mountain (ouch) and produced a line of little baby rock demons. The egg is meant to point the possessor in the direction of those craggy offspring, though Hawley hasn’t quite worked out how to read it. What he has worked out apparently is his Mills sister preference. Thanks to the fans pointing out what a horrendous idea it was, the show has dropped all evidence of Hawley/Abbie. We’re back to hinting at some steamy history between Nick and Jenny, though I wish SO MUCH that Jenny would call him out for trying to bang her sister in addition and not just for being an inconstant rogue. The latter only makes him sound romantic and adventurous.
Hopefully Jenny ditched Hawley to head back to The Peach Pit. (I’m making an executive decision on the name of this bar.) She could have, right? Since Jenny and Hawley completely fell out of the episode after Hawley’s egg revealed the location of the Rock Demon Meet-Up, anything could have happened.
These scenes felt like afterthoughts – a way to move the witnesses from point A to point B. I’m all in favor of Jenny Mills becoming a well-adjusted single gal in pursuit of a little strange, but let’s also integrate her back into the demon-hunting. She’s the expert, for christ’s sake.
Our other expert is busy being hassled by the very existence of Katrina Crane. With every episode, Abbie Mills grows even more weary of Witchy-poo’s nonsense. Her reactions to Katrina’s wide-eyed idiocy and denial continue to be a gift, but no longer are they worth the suspension of disbelief we have to exercise to buy that any group of earth defenders wouldn’t have kicked her corseted ass to the curb by now. Katrina is good for only one thing and that is modeling Hot Topic’s Spring 2015 Beginner Goth collection. I fully support Abbie’s inclination to take her to the carpet. (“I’ll tell her myself if you want.”)
7/10 Donut Holes, most belonging to Jenny’s skirt.
For starters, let’s discuss the episode’s opening scene and the witnesses’ reactions to finding each other alive and unharmed. (“Oh, thank god.”) Crane closes his eyes (you can’t always trust them in Sleepy Hollow) and reaches out to clutch Abbie’s arms and shoulders. He needs to make sure that she’s there. Katrina can wait.
Hope you’ve got your mittens, kids, because the Crane marriage is getting CHILLY. Ichabod has even taken to sleeping on the couch. The couch, in this instance, being Team Witness’ archive headquarters. And while Katrina is kicking it at the cabin, using her powers to switch back and forth between TLC and Bravo hands-free, Crane is sharing Sunday morning farmers market trips and his marital woes with his tiny work wife. (“This reexamination of our marriage is extremely trying.”) Also, how cute was it when Abbie knocked on his “door”? That’s respect.
That respect is the hallmark of the witnesses’ partnership, and an element missing (or broken) in the Cranes’ relationship. “Paradise Lost” showed us how each pair dealt with disagreement and how, in that among many other areas, Biblical Life Partnership makes Infatuation Hangover Marriage its bitch.
Abbie wants to believe that something good could have come to Sleepy Hollow. With all the hellfire and evil she faces at every turn, is it so impossible that the other team could bother to send a little help? But Abbie doesn’t let her hope blind her. Crane is suspicious of Orion, so Abbie quietly puts her guard up. It’s better safe than sorry, but it’s also a courtesy to Crane. And she doesn’t take his concern as evidence that he believes her weak or weakened. They’ve simply chosen different sides of this coin and one of them is going to be wrong. I love the smoothness with which she called him up to make sure Ichabod knew where Orion was taking her. They’re seamless, even when their opinions diverge. (“We pushed each other. We need that. Checks and balances, right?”)
Demonstrating how not to do things, Katrina endeavors to “win” an argument with Crane by testing his love for her and playing on his guilt over his role in Abraham’s transformation. It’s petty and unfair and he calls her on it. That scene at the cabin was raw as hell. Let’s enjoy:
Ichabod: We share a mission. But we also swore to share a life together. You did not attempt to reach me with logic or fairness last night. Rather, you used our marriage as a bargaining tool.
Katrina: I simply wanted you to support me. Believe in me. Is that so wrong?
Ichabod: And when have I not?! Katrina, Henry is our son, our blood. Abraham was my friend. And your fiance. They are not the same. You want to save him out of guilt and lay it on my feet.
Katrina: You said you saw something in him that you recognized.
Ichabod: I did. His pride, his ego, his anger. Our past weighs so heavily upon us, Katrina. As Miss Mills and I have redefined our role as witness, so you and I must redefine our marriage.
Guilt trip having failed, Katrina then attempts to harness another of Ichabod’s more base instincts. Classy. He doesn’t take the bait, choosing instead to have coffee with Abbie and gush more about their eternal, indestructible friendship:
“No matter what obstacles we face. No matter how many disagreements we have. Our bond cannot be broken. Witness, represent.”
CRANE OUT, Katrina. CRANE OUT.
Crane continues to teach himself “modern” slang just to make Abbie smile. 9/10 Fist Bumps and an oxygen tank for yours truly.
Trollando would never lie to us, and Sleepy Hollow knows better than to deny us Frank Irving. The captain is BACK, fresh off his heroism on the battlefield and apparent death. He’s looking a little worse for wear (is that brimstone I see?) and he has no regard for the “No Shirts, No Shoes, No Service” rule. But milk does a body good.
However. It wouldn’t have lessened the impact of this final scene at all to have Crane and especially Abbie mourn Frank a little more in this episode. As it was, he was barely a presence. My head canon Crane would have been much more solicitous of Abbie’s feelings on the subject, pressing her to discuss her grief rather than listen to his girl troubles. And whatever happened to Reyes’s manhunt? There must be repercussions for the escape of a criminally insane former police chief – are we meant to believe that the cops just dropped it? What the damn hell, writers?
At least he’s back. 9/10 Golems.
- Crane and Abbie’s 401K conversation was very 10 and Rose on the Impossible Planet and I am here for it.
- “Not that kind of grapple.”
- I live for Crane’s intensity creeping out everyday citizens.
- “A husband? You really going there?”
- “Well, it’s ancient Sumerian, Mills. Would you believe the manual’s lost?”
- All shoes are demon-hunting shoes on Jenny’s feet.
- Abbie still has a desk!
No new episode next week because of sports (gross.)
Don’t forget to RSVP to our 1/19 viewing party! If you can’t be there in person, you can join us in our live-tweet. Until next time…