Season 3, Episode 13: San Francisco Bae
Posted by Sage
I’m sorry, were there other things going on in this episode besides Lee Pace being a total babe?
As much as he loves his girl, there are only so many lectures and rape whistle tests that Danny can endure. (“I need to hear it.”) And it’s not just him that Mindy’s focusing on. She’s too caught up with the life that she’s missing (“Did my bear claw guy ask about me? He’s not returning my emails.”) to enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime experience. But Danny’s prodding to go out and have a good time might backfire if Alex gets what he’s been wanting since the early ’00s: another night of passion with Mindy Lahiri.
How perfect that a 24-year-old, blue-eyed Mindy returned to her alma mater to fulfill her sex mission. Ever the planner, she even knows where to go to access her key demo: “white guys who were into Asian stuff.” Alex was the kind of proto-nerd perfectly positioned to one day become a heartbreaker. Tall, handsome, and computer-savvy, the odds were ever in his favor of reaching sex god status once he chopped off his ponytail and “disrupted” whatever it was he was looking to disrupt. But since that day in his dorm room when Mindy rocked his world and mentioned off-hand that she’d prefer to troll online videos anonymously, Alex has assigned credit for his transformation entirely to her. Not only that, but he’d tried and failed to find her. While Mindy was bouncing from loser to loser, a handsome billionaire was longing for her. What is she supposed to do with this information?
I’m enjoying Gurglar more now as a foil for Mindy, and the juxtaposition of his fragility and Alex’s confidence is sort of perfect. I’d like to see more of his recent ex, but at least she’s there in spirit. (“This is the table where we decided we didn’t want to have kids.”) Rob considers himself the victim of cheating (and the cause – his seasonal allergies being the last straw), so he takes it upon himself to save Danny. Long ago, on the way to another Hottest Billionaire gala, Alex had futilely sent an email to Mindy’s college account before drowning his sorrows in group sex. (“I imagined they were you…for some of it.”) He sends it to her again in the bar and, when Mindy’s not looking, Gurglar forwards it to Danny.
Peter’s awkward push into Danny’s apartment dovetails with what Morgan and Danny interpret as his suspicious behavior. Morgan, who’s taken Mindy’s absence as an opportunity to ingratiate himself into Danny’s leisure time, sees Lauren entering Peter’s apartment. Are they “frenching” behind Jeremy’s back?
Back in San Francisco, Gurglar is reaching new heights of drunkenness and self-hatred. He picks a fight with a bartender and Alex saves him with his still-impressive bow staff skills. (“Everyone’s safe. This man may be pitiful. He may be weak and angry. He’s wearing an extra large tan polo. And everyone heard that fart.”) If Mindy can resist him like this, than Alex Eakin is less of a threat to her relationship than Girls Who Code. “If I’d gotten your email when you sent it,” she tells him. “My panties would have exploded. But now it just makes me miss my boyfriend.” It’s just as well, since Alex has his own commitments, including a girlfriend (hey, Chrissy Teigen) who fell asleep during his Ted Talk and won the secret billionaire Hunger Games.
So. Nobody’s cheating. Everybody’s good. Until this:
- Where do I pre-order Tamra’s memoirs?
- “I see a rope in your closet that I’m really not crazy about.”
- “I need my hands for crafts!”
- “They would have loved me. I have a billionaire’s sense of entitlement.”
- Krale chips.
Did you all DIE over Lee Pace, readers? How do you feel about this new development with Peter and Lauren? Let us know in the comments.