Let’s get right to the fashion, shall we? Who do we think we are? The E! Red Carpet team vamping until the famous people show up?
1) Julianne Moore
Maggie: Look at this beautiful emerald-green goddess. Full disclosure, I am a sparkle enthusiast (YAY SPARKLES) so I was immediately drawn to this. I can’t get over how perfect this beading is and this shade of green. It is to die for. Can we all agree Julianne should stick to sparkly Givenchy for always and ever? I also thought the purple earrings were an inspired choice and again, I liked her hair down and loose (I do think it kept its shape better than at the A/C-less Globes).
Kim: Red hair + Green = WIN. I think the FugGirls put it best…Julianne knows she’s running the table here, and she definitely upped her game. I would still like some more volume in the hair, but it DOES look better than the Globes. Also I hope she did some serious twirling in this dress cause the beading is like a Dancing with the Stars costume in the best way possible.
Sage: Julianne looked so at-ease. Like she was hostessing a garden party in the Hamptons. You could tell she loved that dress.
2) Tatiana Maslany
Maggie: Tatiana hit almost every button I have: BLACK AND WHITE. STRIPES. (#healthybodyimage) EARRINGS. BIT OF A SASSY PONYTAIL. RED LIP. It is a travesty that she doesn’t attend more awards shows and get all the recognition she deserves for Orphan Black in part because she is straight up killing this red carpet. And how cute was her genuine moment of panic at the thought of doing the mani cam with dry skin? (Girl, same.) I need more Tatiana in my life.
Kim: STRIPES. I’m obsessed.
Sage: This is dead-on for the SAG Awards. Not glitzy enough for the Globes, a little too whimsical for the Emmys. It’s glam and youthful, without trying too hard.
3) Viola Davis
Maggie: Viola is so strikingly beautiful always but especially in this white gown. I love the neckline and peephole, and she styled it perfectly with natural hair, strong makeup game, and did you see that bracelet? Also, I can’t discuss her acceptance speech without just a lot of emotions. Can Viola give me lessons on how to live rather than how to get away with murder?
Kim: I think Viola has such an exquisite skin tone and this white showcases it BEAUTIFULLY. I love the little pop of color in the earrings that coordinates with her eye make-up. And agreed re: her speech. I never want her to stop throwing shade at that New York Times article. You are a GODDESS, Viola.
Sage: I bow to everyone’s earring game at this ceremony. Viola’s dangles paired flawlessly with this regal column gown. And like my girls here, I think life-long classy rage towards that NYT piece is absolutely warranted.
4) Natalie Dormer
Maggie: The cut of this gown is perfect and I can’t get over the splash of color. I will never be over the splash of color. I’ve seen other people attempt this kind of look but no one has ever gotten it quite right like this. I thought opting for a fresh face without heavy makeup was exactly the right choice, and while I wasn’t crazy about the hair, I do think it worked overall. She was like the perfect canvas for that work of art gown.
Kim: I DO wish her hair had been up, mainly because I want to see more of this gorgeous watercolor gown.
Sage: Natalie usually plays the bad-ass or the temptress (it’s the eyes), so I definitely see the appeal for her in going totally flowy and pretty every once in a while.
5) Reese Witherspoon
Maggie: This look was pure understated glam and I couldn’t forget it once I saw it. I love the one shoulder with sparkly beading and the cute little sleeve set off the look perfectly. Add in a sassy pony and I’m sold. I think it’s Julianne’s year thanks to Givenchy and her performance in Still Alice, but Reese isn’t going down without a fight. (Although not an actual fight, there’s a lot of love and #ladiessupportingladies in their category this year. Bless.)
Kim: I’m so obsessed with everything about this look. I love the more conservative front and then the daring back (HER ASS THOUGH). The ponytail is everything and her face is flawless. Elle Woods for President.
Sage: Reese has been through this gauntlet already and came through the other side with an Academy Award. This time, it feels like she’s just livin’ it, you know? Maybe it’s because Julianne is such a lock or maybe it’s because Wild was an exercise in learning to let go, but Reese gives no fucks. She is here to party, and so is dat ass.
6) Felicity Jones
Maggie: I didn’t quite get this look at first, I wasn’t sure it was the right look for Felicity. But I kept coming back to it, and I’ve completely reversed my position. Talk about Old Hollywood glam. She’s a pure Audrey Hepburn dream in this delicate pink. I love the earrings, but remain unconvinced about her hair. It’s thisclose to gym hair, or am I crazy?
Kim: It’s definitely gym hair. Emilia Clarke’s dress was also similar to this, with the crisscrossed top, but I prefer Felicity’s. When you stop focusing on the hair, she looks like a Peach Princess.
Sage: I’m loathe to disagree with the panel, but I was underwhelmed. The color is sweet, but the criss-cross top actually made the dress look too big on her. Felicity is such a slip of a thing, she has to be careful of volume that swallows her up.
7) Emmy Rossum
Maggie: This dress was MADE for a sparkle enthusiast like me. And the wispy skirt! And can we talk about styling? The perfect necklace! The bun! There’s just something so sophisticated about Emmy and the way she carries herself.
Kim: Her styling is ON POINT. She looks fantastic. (Though I do think this dress looked better on TV than in photographs)
Sage: We don’t see a lot of glitz at the SAGs, so bully for Emmy to busting it out with such confidence. It’s a little Christine Daae, no?
8) Naomi Watts
Maggie: Okay, I fully admit I just love Naomi Watts. But she looked AMAZING. I loved that shade of purple, I loved the cut of the gown, and I loved the detail at the top that saved it from being boring. Just total understated glam, gorgeous hair, and perfect bracelets. And I have I mentioned that I love her?
Kim: The neck detail is what makes this dress. Love love love her clutch. Also, please go to Tumblr and watch the gif sets of her almost slipping during the Birdman acceptance speech. Emma Stone’s reaction is amazing and Naomi’s just like “Whatever, it’s not like I REALLY fell.” #queen
Sage: The color combo of navy and black seemed to be trending last night. Naomi did it best. In some photos, you can sort of see the boning in the dress standing up on its own, but I’m nitpicking at this point.
9) Joanne Froggatt
Maggie: Easily the best black of the night. Saved from being basic by the neckline and the shape at the bottom (which I think might be what some people wanted from Gina Rodriguez’s gown at the Globes, but I maintain that her detail worked). I do think her hair and makeup could have used a little oomph, but overall she looked lovely.
Kim: Classic. I like that she went without a necklace and just let that neckline speak for itself.
Sage: Like a damn glove. That’s a tricky neckline, but kudos to her stylist because it’s tailored to a tee. And with all the squished boobies I’ve been looking at this season, I know a well cared for bosom isn’t a given.
10) Sarah Hyland
Maggie: I like this better than her usual midriff-baring formal prom looks! The tulle skirt isn’t obnoxious, the beading works for me (duh-doy), and I even like the straps. I think her hair looks great, and check that fierce eyebrow game. Well done.
Kim: EYEBROW GAME. Also this kind of dress makes me wish I had tiny boobs so I could pull it off. The beading on the bodice is fantastic.
Sage: This is lovely. I hear what Maggie is saying about Sarah’s prom queen tendencies. But the girl knows what she likes and what she likes is a full skirt.
1) Amanda Peet
Maggie: For such a seemingly lovely person, she’s always such a hot mess on the red carpet and this is no exception. Tres Ya-Ya no.
Kim: Why is there a mouth of fabric emerging from her belly? Also, put some diamonds on, this is the SAG Awards, not a garden party.
Sage: Color, fit, styling – all in the crapper. What kind of maniac pairs black and lilac?!
2) Taryn Manning
Maggie: She looks like a fancy sister-wife.
Kim: I wish she had a pop of bolder color SOMEWHERE and showed a little bit of skin.
Sage: Against the red carpet, this unnatural pinky/peach made my eyes hurt.
3) Lorelai Linklater
Maggie: I don’t get it.
Kim: Get thee to a nunnery.
Sage: Oh, NO.
4) Claire Danes
Maggie: All I wrote down? “Ew.”
Kim: Well her face and hair look amazing. There is just one too many things going on with this dress. Take SOMETHING away and it would work I think.
Sage: I didn’t HATE it. The color complements her nicely, and the back is stunning. I think maybe the disc detail down the sides did it in. Lizard on the town.
5) Anna Chlumsky
Maggie: I guess I’m just not a fan of boob holsters.
Kim: Duh-doy, Maggie, she’s Kerry Washington‘s date to Star Trek Prom.
Sage: Come at me. I love it.
6) Mayim Bialik
Maggie: I don’t know, this is probably generally better than usual? But all I see is a frumpy version of Joanne Froggatt.
Kim: I get that Mayim is super conservative for religious reasons, but come on lady! Don’t dress in potato sacks. Maybe she should take a note from Felicity Jones who has been very demure yet elegant. Christian Siriano let her down with that GIANT seam at her knees. It makes her look stumpy. Is that a waist seam I spy as well? I like the green earrings, though they probably don’t go with this dress.
Sage: No religion can be against properly steaming your dress.
7) Julianna Margulies
Maggie: Let’s start with the good: the color. But the volume in front is just not working for me and her HAIR. My sister texted me before I saw it to ask if it was a wig. I don’t think it was, but a wig probably would have been an improvement. I just know Julianna can do better than this.
Kim: This is a BEAUTIFUL TARDIS blue. Super concerned about the amount of inner thigh we’re seeing here. Inner thighs don’t look good on ANYONE. Also, her shoes are too big and it’s making me nuts. And I can never abide by nipple darts. WHY? Yes, the hair is fakety-fake-fake-fake, but the STYLING of it is worlds better than what she did at the Globes. This has been a rough red carpet season for her. She’s usually so on point and I has sad.
Sage: Vagina slits are a NO, Julianna. Rein it in.
Breath of Fresh Air: Maria Menounos.
Maggie: Thank GAWD for this break from Giuliana. Yes, Maria kept everyone on task with the mani cam but she also point-blank asked Michael Keaton about his hot son and showed Mindy Kaling’s tweet about said hot son on-screen. Bless your light, Maria. Can we keep her?
Kim: She really needed to stop awkwardly hugging everyone though. DON’T TOUCH THE CELEBRITIES
Sage: Someone get her a thesaurus, cause girlfriend needs a compliment other than “stunning.”
Stars, They’re Just Like Us!: Eddie Redmayne told Maria about how he and his wife, Hannah Bagshawe, are huge Friends fans and basically stalked Jennifer Aniston at another event to meet her. Yep, that’s what we would do.
It’s Called Chemistry, She Has It With Everyone: Natalie Dormer. Did you see her red carpet interview with Maria? She’s just naturally smoldering.
Best Red Carpet Couple: Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette.
Maggie: Okay, technically no, they did not walk the red carpet together. But they COLOR COORDINATED, you guys. Can you imagine their text convo that ended in agreeing on green? Adorable.
Kim: EVEN THE AWARD IS GREEN AND I AM HAVING SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT ETHAN HAWKE RIGHT NOW I CAN ONLY CAPSLOCK.
Sage: Precious. But Imma need Patricia to work on memorizing her speech between now and the Oscars. YOU ARE GOING TO WIN. PREPARE.
At Least It’s Not White: Rosamund Pike
Maggie: But seriously, what WAS that?
Kim: She’s pooping fabric.
Sage: I weep for wasted potential.
I’m Bored! I’m So Bored!
Maggie: Jennifer Aniston, it’s called color. COLOR. And I know working out and being healthy is great and whatever, but for the love of god please stop talking about how terrible it was not to exercise for two months.
Kim: The minute she didn’t get that Oscar Nomination she was like “Well, now I’m just going to remind everyone how awesome my body is.” She wore a similar underboob showing outfit to the Critics Choice Awards. I HATE underboob. Put some support on those puppies.
Sage: But she wore a Y-necklace as a nod to the ’90s, y’all!
Full-On Monet: Uzo Aduba
Maggie: THIS PAINS ME. From across the red carpet, I was genuinely excited to see this close up and then I did and it just looked like crochet? It just. It’s a Monet. I’m sorry, Uzo, I still love you.
Kim: She loves to rock some color, but you’re right. The dress is a Monet.
Sage: I’ll continue to appreciate it from afar, because appreciate it from afar, I do.
Boss Bitch: Julia Roberts
Maggie: I’m a little hesitant about giving this one out to her because she seems so happy with herself, like to Gwyneth Paltrow levels, but between the flawless hair and working that menswear, she earned it.
Sage: Take me to your boardroom, Julia.
Most Improved: Keira Knightley. This flowy, lacy purple gown is in a totally different league than that mess at the Golden Globes and her soft hair and makeup were the perfect complement. We knew she had it in her.
Hottest Cast: Orange Is The New Black. I mean, was there really any competition? And again, you know how we love #ladiessupportingladies
Hot Mama: Amy Poehler
Maggie: I literally wrote down the words “sexy,” “sparkle,” and “mama” in my notes. (You may not believe me, but I actually wrote this before I got a good look at what appears to be a baby bump. Congrats, Queen Amy!)
Kim: There was MUCH debate over whether not our queen was with child. I spent many commercial breaks analyzing pics. But…that’s not a big dinner. That’s a BABY. If she’s not pregnant, I’ll eat my own head. Also, she looks fabulous.
Sage: I saw her from the shoulders up when she got out of the car and blurted out, “SHE’S PREGNANT.” I’ve looked upon her so much that I could tell in an instant, just from the boobs.
Best Red Lip: Emma Stone
Maggie: My girl can work a red lip like none other. (Also, please let me know in the comments how you liked her whole look. I don’t know how I feel about it, but I do know I love her to bits.)
Kim: She continues to be inspired by Sally Bowles and I LOVE IT.
Sage: My favorite of the night. It’s so HER. We can all agree that ladies wear menswear better than the mens and Emma was serving up serious Marlene Dietrich last night.
Best Print: LUPITA. Guys, Lupita Nyong’o isn’t nominated or even promoting a specific movie this red carpet season and she’s STILL slaying it. I love her. (Also she wore a short version of this dress to the afterparties, which is even more amazing.)
Best Hair: Jared Leto. Thank you for returning those flowing ombre locks to me. (But please shave, or at least trim, the beard.)
Best Black on Black: Lenny Kravitz. He can get it. (Even when wearing sunglasses indoors. At night.)
Worst Black on Black: Kunal Nayyar. He just looked sloppy.
Best Sass of the Mani Cam: Julianne Moore. She was the first to say “No, I’m not doing that” last night and I’m pretty sure everyone watching stood and clapped, just like I did. (Also ALL the A-Listers started rebelling. Tatiana, Aniston, Reese…may this be the end of the mani-cam!)
Most Missed: Again, I would have loved to have seen SWINTON, but I missed Jennifer Lawrence last night especially after seeing a photo of her in Prada at the PGAs. JLaw in non-Dior, come to me!
I Cannot With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears: Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting (although to be fair, this red dress is probably the best one she’s worn to date).
I Cannot With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears Runner Up: Sofia Vergara. I would say I’m over Sofia Vergara but I was never under her, so. (Also, super classy, E!, to only ask her castmates about her upcoming wedding, which let’s face it, probably won’t happen. Hey-o!)
Next stop: The Academy Awards. The high holy night of Fashion. Until then, leave your thoughts in the comments. And tell Maggie how awesome she is.