This time last year, Sage and I were delighted to get an email from our friend Maggie in which she broke down every single look from the 2014 Emmys. We did not ask her for this email, she did it because she needed to talk to someone about all her fashion feels. Thus, a beautiful blogging friendship was born. Here we are a year later and for the first time, Maggie is recapping the awards show that started it all. We love you, Marshmallow. Thanks for gifting us with your presence. NOW GET TO WORK.
Look at this COLOR. It is gorgeous on her, and the fiiiiiiiiiiiit you guys. I don’t even like a cutout but I love this. I don’t even know what else to say. I just.
I think this is my favorite look of hers ever. I flailed so hard when I saw it. Metallic game strong, hair flawless, makeup great. She looks effortless. I was surprised to see it isn’t full length, but it works for me.
Kim: I have to butt in and say that Sage’s first reaction when Kerry hit the red carpet was to shout “OH MY GOD FINALLY”. I couldn’t agree more.
LOOK AT THIS. I’m dying for the black laurel pattern on the white paired with my favorite, a red lip. It’s like she’s trying to hit all of my buttons.
Is it me or is this fairly unexpected for her? It’s more of a straightforward red carpet gown than she usually goes for? Anyway, it’s sleek and classy and I just want to stare at this forever. Is it black and black? Black and blue? (I know it’s not white and gold, ahahaha I’m hilarious.) Anyway, beautiful sparkles, great earrings, love the red lip.
YOU GUYS. LADY GAGA LOOKED CLASSY AS SHIT. In the words of Jimmy Fallon, she’s a glamorous gorgeous movie star from 50s.
Holy god do I love her in this hot pink. And that black detail at bust is love. There was a lot of pink last night and this is definitely one of my favorites.
I said out loud “oh my fucking god” when she showed up on the E! red carpet coverage. This metallic top over the most beautiful RED, I can’t. The red on its own is gorgeous but the gold top just kills me. And the earrings she chose were perfect to complement the metallic, not compete with it. I don’t know about you, but I’m not really about the raven hair on her? But her updo looks amazing and I barely even miss her ginger hair and have totally forgotten how cute she is blonde.
Kim texted me that she would fight me if I left Aubrey out and she was totally right. This is a clear personal best for her and I love it. If you asked me to describe her personal style, I don’t know if I would have said sexy sparkles but she’s totally slaying it in them. And the hair is ADORABLE.
Kim: This dress is everything. Maggie would have been fired if she hadn’t picked this for the post. I need it in my closet.
Ahhhhhh she looks so CUTE, you guys! I love the color and the shape of this dress and it fits her like a dream. Also, if you want a primer on how to do less formal hair on the red carpet, look no further. And the simple accessories just clinch it for me. I don’t know, she may be an unexpected choice? But I wasn’t sure what to expect from her and I LOVE this. Just a lovely surprise.
I know, I’m sorry I’m such a slut for black and white, but I straight up GASPED when I saw Tina on screen. To me, the blocking reads like a black tuxedo with white shirt and I am just incredibly down for it. I’m always into a tiny sleeve and eyeglasses on stage. Hair and makeup were subtle but on point, and I really liked the earrings.
Oh no, Jaimie. First, I don’t get the hair. Why does she look like she just got out of the pool? Well, okay, maybe she did because everyone and their mother was talking about how hot it was in L.A. last night. But then why the long sleeve?? And I feel like I’m betraying my love of a horizontal stripe, but I just hate this pattern.
Kim: She told Seacrest (or Giuliana, I can’t remember which, they are basically the same) that the long sleeves were because she has a hard time getting all the tattoo make-up for Blindspot off, so the sleeves were covering it up. IDK maybe don’t sign up for a sure to be shitty series where you have to be tattooed then.
Literally nothing about this works for me. We just. There must be no overlap in our tastes whatsoever, it pains me that I never like her red carpet looks because I love her.
Okay, but this is really the one that pains me. But I have to be honest and say I just hate this. It’s like she repurposed a carpet. Badly. And I LOVE HER. At least her hair looks amazing.
Tracee Ellis Ross
I’m so not into this. It just looks altogether phoned in to me.
I don’t like the top and I hate the detail at the bottom and just call me Ron Swanson because I love nothing.
Best Yellow: Mindy Kaling
I will fully admit to not being objective about Mindy Kaling, she is MY PERSON. I love her. But I think everyone can agree she looks insane here. I love everything about this, from her hair and those earrings to the sparkles on her sleeves.
Worst Yellow: Heidi Klum
My notes, in full: “no.” Sorry, should I elaborate? How about ticky-tacky hot mess?
In a Class of Her Own: (National Treasure) Allison Janney
THERE ARE NO WORDS. LOOK AT THIS GODDESS.
The Julianna Margulies Arm Candy Award: Janney’s Hot Boyfriend
I’m lovin’ it too.
Best Red Carpet Couple: Christina Hendricks and Geoffrey Arend
Okay, first of all she looked beautiful. Second of all, did he really coordinate his jacket to her lipstick because that, my friends, is love.
You Humble Me: Uzo Aduba
Uzo’s gown would have been beautiful without the pattern but that really takes it to the next level. And if you didn’t tear up a little during her acceptance speech, then I don’t want to know you because I don’t associate with liars.
I’ll Drink to That: Christine Baranski
Look at this classy broad, you guys. I would have to fact check, but I think she tends to choose jewel tones more often, which totally works for her, but LOOK. AT. THIS. PINK. I’m dying.
Best Accessory: David Oyelowo
This arrow lapel pin is hands down the best accessory I’ve seen on the red carpet since Naomi Watts’ snake necklace.
Worst Accessory: Edie Falco
So I was kind of into this pale pink and I really liked the pleating, but that jewel-y necklace-y detail just threw me completely off. I don’t think it goes well with the dress at all, and it’s a shame because otherwise Edie looked great.
Best Dressed Man: Don Cheadle
Men’s fashion is SO BORING. I didn’t have high hopes for this red carpet without Jared Leto to liven things up, but I freaked out when I saw Don Cheadle. The jacket is gorgeous and the tie is perfection. So unexpected and fresh. (Kim: TOO BAD THAT PICTURES OF HIM ARE INCREDIBLY ELUSIVE SO HERE IS A PICTURE OF JON HAMM HOLDING HIS EMMY.)
Why hat? Bradley Whitford
No, that’s all I had to say really. Why hat?
Best Hair: Jane Krakowski
This updo looks so fresh and so CUTE, which was a challenge in the heat that no one would stop talking about on the red carpet.
Worst Hair: Claire Danes
Why does Claire Danes insist on doing this to me every time?
Maternity Wear Be Dammed: Cat Deeley
Cat Deeley looked amazinggggg, you guys. I loved her hair, I loved her earrings, and this was one of my favorite metallics from the whole night. Head to toe, love, and the cut was so flattering for a mama to be!
So close, but no cigar: Joanne Froggatt
I love the idea behind this, but there’s just something missing in the execution, isn’t there? I love the pink and black but it’s just not coming together. And her hair really isn’t doing anything for her, is it?
Kim: HER HAIR SHOULD HAVE BEEN UP.
Most Fierce: Taraji P. Henson
I am so here for her chain straps, you guys. The top of this is so flattering on her and that BOB. I’m a little undecided on the sheer skirt, but she is WORKING it.
Kim: I just have to add that you would be hard pressed to find someone enjoying themselves MORE last night than Taraji. All of her friends won and she LOVED it.
It’s a Motherf*cking Jumpsuit: January Jones
I don’t know, I don’t love it but I respect it?
Like Any Great Love, She Keeps You Guessing: Kiernan Shipka
I want to be Kiernan Shipka when I grow up. There, I said it. This was possibly the most unexpected look on a night full of surprises for me, and it’s just such a sophisticated, successful look.
Boss Bitch: Tatiana Maslany
(Duh-doy.) I wasn’t able to watch the red carpet or the awards show live but my friend Jaime texted me immediately about Tatiana because this look is just a thing everyone needs to know about. I think I can sum this boss bitch look up in three words: Pulling. It. Off.
Best Ginger: Amy Poehler
All I wrote in my notes was “Ginger Queen,” I swear to god.
Best Beading: Giuliana Rancic
This is mean, but Giuliana just always looks so brittle to me. But her gown was soft and romantic and the beading was gorgeous.
But I WANT to Love This: Emma Roberts
Something isn’t working for me here and it’s killing me. This gown is amazing, the necklace is great, the hairstyle is beautiful. Is it the makeup? Is it the color of the gown? I don’t know, this look just doesn’t add up the sum of its parts somehow.
Kim: Methinks it’s the color. IMAGINE THIS IN A JEWEL TONE, MAGGIE.
Biggest Disappointment: Gina Rodriguez
This one kind of makes me feel like I’m going to hell because she’s such a precious, inspiring sunflower, but I can’t not. There’s just something not flattering happening here, and as someone whose hair frizzes a lot in humidity, to me her ponytail just looks like a bad hair day.
Kim: I was just happy she FINALLY showed some skin. Perhaps this also would have worked better with a hint of color?
Hot Pockets: Maisie Williams
I want to steal this dress just for those pockets.
Kim: FEATHER SHOES.
Best Modern Family Cast Member: Ariel Winter
Their reign of terror may be coming to a close, but awards shows are still swarmed with these cast members and Ariel was the clear winner of this one in a beautifully fitted red dream.
Kim: I don’t want this to come off snarky, because I genuinely mean it: that breast reduction she got was EVERYTHING. She carries herself with so much more confidence now. Good for you, bb. (Also, I love that she still left herself with a generous rack. They look perfect.)
I Can’t With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears: Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting
Every time. Even when she doesn’t show up.
I Can’t With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears Runner-Up: Sofia Vergara
And finally, we would also like to thank the girl who have Amy Schumer her smoky eye.
What were your favorite Emmy looks? Let us know in the comments! Maggie will return for The Golden Globes in January…until then, you can stare at this picture of the founding members of the Vagina Defense Squad.