Sleepy Hollow Season 3, Episode 9
Posted by Kim
WELCOME BACK, SLEEPYHEADS!!!!!!! It’s been an interminable hiatus but we are STILL here. “One Life” picks up with our heroes one month after the events of the winter finale. Where were we exactly? Oh, yes. Joe and Jenny kissed. It was revealed that the whole time Pandora’s actions were motivated by her need to bring her lover, The Hidden One, back to this mortal plane. (I can’t be the only one who is a little furious that this awesome female villain was doing it all for a man, can I?) Betsy Ross is still boring AF. Sophie Foster was revealed to be an Undercover FBI agent. Abbie handed in her badge and then sacrificed herself to save her sister, vanishing into Pandora’s tree with the Shard of Anubis bomb, leaving behind a devastated Ichabod. WHERE IS ABBIE? How is Ichabod coping with the loss of his Biblical life partner? Let’s get to the ratings to find out.
Like I said, we pick up a month after Abbie sacrificed herself to the Tree of Wonders (Behold this Diamond in the Rough). Crane is…not doing well, to put it lightly. He’s a man possessed by a singular mission. AbbieAbbieAbbieAbbieAbbie. His tunnel vision has made him reckless as he pursues artifacts that could be used to summon Abbie from whence she vanished. (His current state of mind is foreshadowed by Flashback!Crane telling Nathan Hale “You have but one life. Do not indulge in recklessness. That’s…really the only point of the flashbacks. Well, that and fulfilling Nikki Reed’s episode order.) I’m glad to see that Crane kept that motorbike from last season because MAN that shot of him taking off his helmet and shaking out his hair made me feel all sorts of things in my special places.
In the meantime, Joey and Jenny go about tracking down the map. I’ll discuss this more in #ShippyHollow, but it’s clear to me that they HAVEN’T been boning since the time we saw them last and Jenny has put some distance between them, which Joey (though confused) is respecting. Jenny’s dealer says he doesn’t have the map…but her nemesis Randall DOES. Considering the last time she saw him resulted in Randall being handcuffed in a shower, that’s going to go really well. Danny, on the other hand, remains singularly focused on Crane in his search for Abbie, ordering a tap on his phone. (Um, don’t you need more probable cause for that other than “they hang out a lot”/jealousy?) Sophie orders him to get away to his Nicholas Sparks cabin so he can de-stress and get some perspective on the situation, further proving that she’s on Crane’s side in this, despite her misgivings. Points for her there. More points for her “I’m a complex person” comment because I can really get on board with a Sophie/Han Solo parallel.
At the archives, Sophie begins to prove her worth as an ally in this cause. She deduces that their brand is a Shinto symbol for “gateway” and that a tribe in New Guinea highly values the mystical powers of mirrors as gateways to other worlds. If that truly IS Abbie trying to reach them, the only solution is to build a gateway by using a mirror. They build their gateway in the Masonic Cell because it is the best place to try to concentrate all the mystical energies. I have to give Sophie credit for taking all this mysticism in stride, only mildly reacting to the ridiculousness of the situation. She expresses her nerves via quips (“Buy a girl a drink first” when Crane says she has to anchor him) and I swear to GOD if I didn’t bleed for Ichabbie, I could totally ship these two. Sophie apologizes for being nervous and Crane picks up his “What Would Abbie Mills Do?” manual to comfort her. Grace Abigail Mills may not physically BE in this episode, but her presence looms large the entire time, thanks to Crane. It’s almost like he loves her or something.
While all this demon nonsense is going down, Joey and Jenny are doggedly pursuing the Hell Map. They find Randall at Sleepy Hollow’s seedy nightclub (because EVERY town has one) and he gloats over the fact that he now has something Jenny wants. Jenny does a little flirting and information off him. Once a BAMF, always a BAMF. They break into his storage facility, only to be accosted there by Randall and his goons. They make it seem like they’ve shot Joey (JENNY’S FACE) but please. Joey’s better than that. He knocks out Randall with a “You should hire better guys” and the dynamic duo escapes with the map. TEAMWORK.
Sophie shows up at Crane’s doorstep because the police find a body with the same strangulation marks the RingLady left on Crane…time to go investigate! On their way to the crime scene, Crane tells Sophie that his research has revealed that this demon is an Onryo, a Japanese Vengeance Demon typically associated with the spirits of wronged women AKA my Patronus. This particular Onryo feeds off of desperation (don’t we all?) which is obviously why she targeted Crane initially. (Sophie: “You were catfished.” Crane: “If that peculiar ichthyic reference means I was duped, then yes, you are correct.) Crane and Sophie have a bonding moment where Crane waxes poetic about his partnership with Abbie (BELIEVE ME, I’m talking about it in the Shippy Section because I have feelings.) and Sophie reveals a bit of herself to Crane. Her parents were archaeologists. They went out on a dig to some Mayan Ruins when she was a kid and never returned. Officially, their disappearance was unexplained, but locals swore they were taken by demons. So Sophie KNOWS. She knows what Ichabod is going through because she’s been driven by it her whole life. “My whole life I’ve been looking for proof that there is another world out there. And you… you’ve been living in it.” Welcome to Team Witness, Sophie Foster. On Wednesdays, we slay demons.
When Sophie gets another call about a NEW victim, they realize that the demon is making her way OUT of town. There can only be one person she’s heading for: Danny Reynolds, who is nursing his desperation in his Nicholas Sparks Cabin of Feelings. She calls in a false Abbie sighting to lure Danny away from the cabin (we learn this at the end of the episode) and then she and Crane take out the demon together, using the ole reflection trick to trap her back in the mirror before they shatter it. “Welcome to the other world,” Crane says. INDEED.
I’ve seen plenty of Japanese Horror Movies. Those demons are scary AF. 7/10 Sandmen.
“I have worked and fought alongside many people in my time. It was only recently that I truly understood what a partner is. What it means to have someone who makes you more than you are simply by being by your side. Truly your better half.”
Oh, you know. Just Ichabod Crane spouting more wedding vows to Abbie Mills, even when she is not there. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. Those are WEDDING VOWS. He called Abbie his better half. He’s so lost without her. To me, this separation has brought his feelings for Abbie into sharp focus. Those feelings are deep, those feelings are real, and those feelings are LOVE. (ZOE WHO?) I’m not saying I want them to fall into bed together as soon as Abbie gets back or even have a passionate kiss. (I DO EXPECT THE HUG TO END ALL HUGS THOUGH.) (The kissing will come in due time.) What I WANT is for Crane to express how deeply he feels for her. How much she MATTERS to him on every level. How lost he felt without her by his side. How he literally talked to her picture when he felt confused. (“I lost you anyway.” = KILL ME NOW.) I want him to show her his metaphorical “What Would Abbie Mills Do?” handbook and I want him to express how she was always in his heart. Most sincerely. (So don’t mess it up, show.)
Let’s delve a little into my headcanon for Joe and Jenny’s relationship status at the beginning of this episode, shall we? Like I said in the Creepy Section, I personally don’t think they’ve been a full-on lovey couple ever since their kiss. Why? Because I think Jenny’s self-preservation tactics kicked in. Jenny Mills is a professional distancer and I think in the wake of her sister’s disappearance, she has done exactly that. Joey, God love him, has respected her need for space, even if it confuses him a bit. If acting like nothing happened is what she wants, that’s what Jenny’s gonna get from him. You can tell in most of their interactions that Joey wants more from her but he doesn’t know how to get it, so he settles for falling back into their old routine of being sleuthing buddies with loads of sexual tension. Where am I getting all of this from? Their conversation before they broke into the storage locker, that’s where. Observe…
Joe: Look, I understand, you know. You want to keep acting cool, professional. Stick with what you know. Because if you can convince yourself that it’s just business as usual, then the truth of what might have happened to Abbie can’t sink in. But sooner or later, you are gonna have to face that truth. All right? Just… just remember that you’ll be okay.
Jenny: Oh, yeah? How do you know that?
Joe: ‘Cause I’m not going anywhere.
Joe knows exactly what she’s doing and I LOVE HIM for calling her out on it. Jenny acts all cool and collected on the outside, but inside she’s terrified that Joe is just going to be another person in long line of people who’ve left her. Joe recognizes this fear and he makes it his JOB to reassure her that he’s here to stay, as long as human/Wendigoly possible. Bless him and his light forever and ever. ANYONE can see how Jenny feels about him given the way she reacts when she sees that he’s not dead in that storage locker. She just has to learn to trust that he means what he says. She’s getting there.
Joe: Whoa. Okay. I mean, that’s not where I thought you were going with that.
Jenny: What else can I do to get you to see? I am not the kind of person that talks about feelings and gets to know you. I don’t share stories and have relationships. I’m the person who knocks heads and moves around. My world is filled with Randalls and McKennas.
Joe: And-and that’s all you want it to be?
Jenny: Why not? What good ever came from the other way? My dad left when I was three. Mom checked out not long after that. Even Abbie abandoned me.
Joe: And Abbie came back.
Jenny: Yeah, and now she’s gone. Possibly for good. Because she was saving me. She gave up herself for me. When I thought… when I thought Randall’s guys had shot you… I thought, “I lost Abbie, and… now I’m gonna lose another person that I love.”
THAT’S RIGHT, SHE DROPPED THE L-BOMB AND I AM LIVING. I’ve seen some people on the internets grumbling about the accelerated pace of Joe and Jenny’s relationship, but I’m fine with it. It’s a relationship forged under extreme circumstances and thus the feelings are going to be extreme. Jenny Mills is not one to give her heart away easily (neither of the Mills Sisters are) but Joe has proved to be so good and so CONSTANT for her that she gave her heart away without even fully realizing it. It’s just lovely. I am here for all of it.
ALSO LOOK AT THE PRETTY PEOPLE KISS. 8/10 Donut Holes
So the Hidden One is still pissed at Pandora, who he blames for not restoring him to full life. Basically we have a Voldemort/Peter Pettigrew situation going on here as Pandora nurses a weak Hidden One back to health. “You DARE speak to me about time,” he snarls, as he weakly does his “parlor tricks”. “The fault does not lie with the Witnesses, it lies with you.” Have I mentioned how much I HATE that Pandora, who was delightfully evil in her OWN right, is now at the beck and call of a man. FUCK OFF. Pandora managed to salvage a fragment of her box, which is how she conjured RingLady and I presume how she managed to send out the RSVPs to MonsterCon 2K16. She vows to her “love” that she will hunt Abbie to the ends of time. Hidden one is all GOOD cause if you don’t I’m going to bitch about this for the rest of eternity. “If you fail, I will not suffer alone, my love.” BARF.
Speaking of Abbie, we see her very much alive at the end of the episode. Where she is we don’t know. All I know is it looks a LOT like the void where Gemma Simmons ended up earlier this season in Agents of SHIELD and can we have THAT crossover because I need Abbie and Melinda May kicking ass together like I need AIR.
I can’t wait for The Hidden One to evaporate just like Voldemort. 5/10 Golems.
HIS LITTLE PUPPY FACE WHEN HE LOOKS AT THE SAD LASAGNA IN THE PAN THOUGH. 0.5/10 Donut Holes.
Thoughts for the Archives
- Like I said, this week’s bit of Twistory was pretty weak when you look at the canon of clever twists. I’m not saying EVERY flashback has to be Ben Franklin being decapitated level of awesome, but this really just felt like inserting Crane into Hale’s story so they could have Betsy in this episode.
- This is the face of Ichabod Crane without Abbie Mills. It hurts.
- But really…He holds her camisole a LOT, doesn’t he? HOW DID IT END UP ON THE STAIRS IF NOT BECAUSE RINGLADY WAS TRAPPED IN THE MIRROR?
Were you satisfied with “One Life”? Let us know in the comments! We’re off to Gallifrey One in Los Angeles tomorrow, so please be patient as our recap for this week’s episode will be delayed (more so than usual).