Scandal Season 5, Episode 21
“That’s My Girl”
Posted by Sage
I’ve spent the last six months telling people who quit the show during the endless loop of Olitz that Scandal is THE REALNESS again. A season finale with zero deaths? No bombs? Negative extra-marital affairs? YEP. And it was still one of the best Scandal bows ever. Because as the real world is currently reminding us, elections are WACKADOO. Let’s to the gifs.
“My father wanted a grandson.” Jake is having a friendly after-dinner drink with his new father-in-law discussing Vanessa’s grandfather being kind of a dick.
“You’re the son I never thought I wanted.”
“I’m sorry sir, I’m sorry you think of me as a son, but there’s another man who thinks of me as his son too.” Jake poisons his new dad for his old one (but not the old-OLD one, who he murdered last week – try to keep up) so that Vanessa (and Jake) will get her inheritance faster.
“It’s only a few more seconds…almost there.” And he’s dead.
Tom tells Cyrus that he found Michael in Virginia with Ella. Cyrus would rather pick a VP than talk about his child.
“The man-child who’s been soiling his pants at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for the past eight years.” The Liberty Report is at the GNC shading Fitz and it is beautiful.
Cyrus asks David to be Frankie’s running mate and tells him that Frankie is an “honest, across the aisle soldier.”
“No, I mean, whom do I have to kill for you? Or imprison for you? What does the Dark Lord Master Cyrus Beene want in return for this?” David knows the drill.
“You two are cut from the same cloth.” Cyrus is really laying it on thick about Frankie’s goodness, hoping to appeal to that part of David Rosen that still thinks he’s wearing the white hat.
“Male, married, and military.” There are three possibilities for Mellie’s running mate who tick all the necessary boxes.
One of them got caught selling expired condoms.
“I was a coke dealer.” Governor Bill Wagner of Missouri is the only one who comes clean about his past, which makes it possible for OPA to scrub it down for him.
“He’s perfect.” Mellie is sitting next to Marcus on the conference room table, by the way. Their thighs are touching.
Edison comes to visit, tells Olivia what Jake said. Why Edison CARES is unclear. Didn’t Jake threaten his whole life and family and everything he stands for?
“I’m not asking you if you understand, I’m asking you what you’re gonna do about it.”
“Your father is building a war chest…you need to save him.” Huck is on Liv about climbing up Jake’s hair and rescuing him from Rowan’s tower too. But…isn’t Jake a grown-ass man?
“Mr. Beene, Eli Pope.” Rowan is at Vargas for President headquarters and he’s going to give the campaign $30 million. Cyrus is like:
“If I only went where I was welcome, I’d never leave the house.” Rowan threatens to tell Frankie what Cyrus did in Harrisburg. He wants Jake on the ticket.
Doug Morton, aka Wagner’s old coke dealing buddy, is getting moved to Albuquerque with a new ID and a nice chunk of change. So forget you saw anything.
Mellie wants Fitz to speak on opening night instead of closing night, because this sniz is about her, goddammit.
“Who knows? Maybe I’ll even end up in Vermont.” Abby looks HORRIFIED.
“My take is that…he’s a soulless dead-eyed monster who murdered the love of my life in cold blood.” Cyrus dreams about saying this to Frankie when he asks what Cyrus thinks of Jake as a VP. *blows a kiss to the sky* For James Novak.
“I think he’d be great.” GREAT. SO GREAT. Everything’s fine, we’re all fine here….how are you?
Lizzie and David do a Bartlet White House walk and talk!
“I knew it! This is great.” “Is it?” “Well, not for the country, but for you.” Lizzie is flying high about David and Frankie, because it puts her back in the game. David, she’s not so confidant about.
“I’m gonna vote for Frankie Vargas and I have a golden retriever at home named Barry Goldwater.”
David blames Lizzie for him losing Susan. “I cried. Multiple times. Tears. In my eyes.” TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN SHITTY ACTIONS, ROSEN.
“Well, I don’t want to either, but this is where we are.”
Fitz is in Abby’s office reading Liv’s medical records. I’d be shocked that a representative of the US government is spying on one of its citizens, but. Also HER BODY IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS.
“You’re a big boy Cyrus, just say no.” Cyrus tells Olivia about what he did in Harrisburg and that Rowan has it over him.
“You set that up?” “Pretty good, right?” “They were martyred for Jesus! For Political Jesus!” Cyrus is really torn up about it.
“This election should be you and me competing for the Oval.” HEAD TO HEAD. The student vs the master.
“It’s an 8,000 word love letter to himself.” Fitz’s speech for Mellie is all about Fitz. I’m about to have a heart attack and die of not-surprise.
Marcus walks Mellie to the stage to confront Fitz about it and gives her advice. KISS.
“I am trying to help you.” “By taking precious time at my convention talking about yourself?” He says it’s a strategy.
“You don’t even see it, do you? How arrogant you are, how presumptuous.”
“Is there a scenario where you don’t talk about how great you are?”
“And I am not a WHITE MAN. I am here on my own. I got here on my own. I got here because I managed to escape you.”
“How privilege and entitled do you have to be to think of the most powerful office in the world as a prison?” Everything about this scene. Mellie’s confidence, Fitz’s surliness, the camerawork, that SET.
Olivia meets Jake in THE parking garage. “I want to help you…I had to say those things.” “Do you have a plan or don’t you?”
“I believe you. Now do whatever you have to do. Get me out.” A “please” wouldn’t go amiss here.
“You have to go in through the front door. Lights on.” “That’s insane.” “Like a gangster.” Huck’s kidnapping plan is the stuff of nightmares.
Wagner’s drug dealing comes out in the press. Fortunately, Liv has another idea for Mellie’s running mate.
“I wanted to let you know that Mellie’s chosen a running mate. It’s Jake.” Olivia goes to the Oval to tell Fitz this, who the hell knows why.
“I miss you…like this. Talking to you, listening to you.”
Fitz is apologizing to LIV about the accusations MELLIE leveled at him, like the goddamn cancer that he is. At least he’s changing the speech.
“I support your choice, Liv. Not that you needed it.” NOPE.
“He has a saying, your father.” “You can’t take Command, I know.” “It’s true. You have to become Command.” Yesssss, be the don, Liv.
Tom’s legs, everybody.
“If I could replace Michael with a new one. What about me?” *Tom starts to tell a WEIRD story about his life * “I’ve read Of Mice & Men, I know how this story ends.”
“The fact that we can sit here and talk about murder and not blink our eyes…I’ve never had that. Not with anyone. This is the truest and most honest relationship I’ve ever had.” Tom looks pleased. He likes pleasing Cyrus. He needs someone to serve. And this is oddly sweet.
“I can make it look like an accident.” WE KNOW.
“The coronation is soon to come. I could not be more proud of you.” Rowan is prepping Jake to take his spot on Frankie’s ticket when Liv comes through the front door, just like Huck advised.
“I’m here for Jake.”
She tells Rowan that the wire services are about to report that MELLIE has chosen Jake as her running mate, not Frankie.
Jake…um…you’re not leaving. ….Jake?
“You…have your finger on this trigger.” Rowan puts a gun to Jake’s head and makes sure Olivia knows that her actions will inform what happens next.
“Go ahead, kill your son.” Olivia takes Jake’s hand. “He won’t hurt you. You’re his son.” “Go, before I change my mind.” Anyone else get the feeling Rowan is LETTING Jake go?
“Damn.” “Damn.” HE LET YOU GO FOR HIS OWN REASONS. Do you not know this man at all? He has literally one speed.
“Olivia, you clever clever girl.”
“Are you gonna be the next Vice President of the United States or not?” David doesn’t get the call from Frankie and Lizzie places the blame accordingly. “How the hell did you mess this up?”
“You better be enjoying this, Mellie Grant.” KISS KISS KISS.
Michael and Cyrus are getting back together. He dumps Tom. It’s…unkind.
GRANT/BALLARD 2016. “She was born to do this job,” Fitz says. Vote or die, y’all.
“I forgot to thank you. You stood up to Command…I’m not coming. I’m taking myself off the ticket.” Olivia finds Jake lounging in the locker room, definitely not ready for Thank You, Five.
He wants a normal, unremarkable house and to live with her in it. He’ll raise unimpressive kids with her. This is not why Olivia saved him. Unremarkable is not her thing.
“Come on, Liv. Dare to be normal!”
“PUT THE TIE, ON.” “That’s real power, Liv, not the other crap.”
“Mediocrity is not an option for me.”
“I’ve gone from being his bitch to yours.”
Olivia convinces Jake to get his ass to work. Mellie and Jake take the stage to fireworks. “Have you heard?” Abby asks Liv. “Vargas just announced his running mate.”
“You were never gonna put David Rosen on the ticket.” Olivia calls Cyrus. All the pieces are falling into place. Cyrus will be Frankie’s VP.
“One word: Harrisburg.” “Two words: Andrew Nichols.” As if Cyrus Beene would settle for being a campaign manager after all he’s done and seen. It’s a stand-off.
“He said one of us is getting back to the White House. He’s right. Me.” Is this really the end? Is Sally Langston going to drive a tank through the stage or something?
“And all it took was a little nudge from your father…That’s my girl.” Rowan watches the RNC from his comfiest chair. As it always does, everything has gone according to his plan. If Liv has the White House, so does he. And no one believes more that she is the one who’s going to get it.
That’s all she wrote for Season 5, Gladiators! And another K. Wash pregnancy means that the Scandal won’t be back until mid-season. We want to keep on gif-capping, so please, put any suggestions for good (insane) shows that are begging for that treatment in the comments. And don’t forget to register to vote!