“The pieces are moving faster now.” – This Is Us Recap – Pilgrim Rick

 
source: thisisusedits.tumblr.com
This Is Us Season 1, Episode 8
“Pilgrim Rick”
Posted by Shannon

Family dynamics are unique and strange and phenomenally individualized, so it’s no wonder that every annual celebratory gathering (holiday or otherwise) develops its own patterns. Traditions can grow out of anything – quiet, peaceful moments, casual repetition, or even extreme and unplanned chaos. For the Pearsons, what originated as chaos has evolved into a beautiful, cozy holiday celebration. This week, we see a holiday experienced from both sides: we have the origin story and the comfortable patterns that have taken root across three generations. Think of your weirdest holiday tradition – now ask yourself if the annual Pearson family celebration is really all that extraordinary.

Jack/Rebecca

source: bigthree.tumblr.com

source: bigthree.tumblr.com

It’s Thanksgiving in the 80s for the Big Three, and Jack and Rebecca are gearing up to spend the holiday with Rebecca’s family. Nobody’s very excited to go, and from the sound of things, I can’t say I blame them. Rebecca is as anxious as we’ve ever seen her, laser-focused on perfecting the cranberry sauce so she can avoid passive aggressive commentary from her mother. Jack isn’t looking forward to hearing his brother-in-law wax poetic about his new, top of the line CD player, and Randall is dreading a subtle but odious tendency from his grandmother, who keeps requesting photo shoots with “just the twins.” (Rebecca has called her on it, several times, to no avail. And Kevin wondered why she was protective of Randall.)

Jack, who had hoped that he and Rebecca could develop their own traditions now that his parents have passed, still puts on a smile, packing the car with snacks and Paul Simon records. The kids are enjoying the day before they end up stuck in the car; Kevin and Randall are actually hanging out and having a good time together, and while Kate is annoyed by the itchy sweater her grandmother knitted, she’s still ready to wear it for the day. All in all, it looks like the Pearsons have made the best of their newly annual six-hour road trip – until the boys knock into Rebecca and her cranberry sauce. The day gets exponentially longer, as they now have to kick things off by bouncing from grocery store to grocery store in search of a replacement side. Jack tries to keep the kids in line, but alas – Graceland really loses its powers of distraction after the fifth listen.

source: NBC

source: NBC

While Rebecca probably couldn’t imagine a worse start to the holiday, the Thanksgiving disasters have just begun; a tire blows out, and while Jack manages to keep everyone safe, he can’t avoid veering off the road and taking out a fence. It’s a 3.4 mile hike to the nearest gas station, but there’s nothing else for it, and the whole family sets out for the walk. When the animal noises kick off from the woods, Jack and Rebecca get their first opportunity to come in with a stellar distraction technique – the Thanksgiving game, where everyone describes how they want to celebrate the holiday when they grow up. Kevin’s the only one who gets out a proper plan – he intends to play for the Steelers, and eat a whole turkey after his game – but Randall throws a wrench in works by declaring that he won’t have Thanksgiving as an adult, since “when you’re an adult, you don’t have to do things you hate.” (Oh, kid. If only.)

The rebellion reaches Kevin and Kate, too, and before their parents can blink, the Big Three have revolted against the entire holiday. The quiet pain in Rebecca’s voice is palpable; she’s SO distraught that her holiday tensions have rubbed off on her kids. But it only gets worse when she hears that she’s a part of the problem, too; all the pressure of handling her family turns Rebecca into a walking ball of stress, and each one of the Big Three picks up on the change in her personality. Jack, who sees the situation coming more and more unglued, tries to assure her that the “kids are delusional from the cold” and don’t really mean it. But Rebecca has heard her family’s complaints, and the impact is already taking hold.

 
 
source: thisisusedits.tumblr.com
Once they arrive at the gas station, things don’t get much better – the attendant can’t get a tow truck to come out on Thanksgiving, and he suggests calling someone to come pick them all up until the car can be fixed in the morning. Rebecca puts her head down and gets ready to call her family, but it’s clearly out of instinct and not any real sense of security. It takes just a few sentences from her mother for Rebecca to lose all patience. Once her mom’s been assured that everyone is ok, she lists out what must have been a tirade of complaints – why are they so late, why didn’t they call earlier, why did it take so long to get in touch. But now that Rebecca has really felt the pain that has trickled to her kids, something switches within her. It’s not just that she’s worn down enough to take a stand – she’s making a change on behalf of her entire family, and refuses to “subject my kids to that this year.” With the slamming of a payphone, the Pinewood Lodge becomes the site of this year’s Pearson family Thanksgiving.

We don’t officially know where the Pinewood Lodge is located, but this is a weird, small New England town if I’ve ever seen it (and I grew up in one, so trust me). This lodge has it ALL: separate tiny cabins for each of its guests, a moose head on the wall (and it’s definitely real, despite Jack’s assurances otherwise), a furnace stuck on high and zero television reception. The real star of the Pinewood Lodge, though, is the hotel clerk – complete with a fancy hat, he creepily asks the “kiddies” if they’ve heard of the Mayflower, and refuses to answer to anything except his designated character name, Pilgrim Rick. No matter how firm she was in her decision, the whole set-up is unsettling enough to make Rebecca question whether or not she’s done the right thing. But the decision has been made, and the family settles in for a very different Thanksgiving evening.

source: kepnerrrd.tumblr.com

source: kepnerrrd.tumblr.com

Jack’s not a perfect father. No one is. But Rebecca was right when she said that Jack is an 11 when he sets his mind to it, and that quality really shines this week. He completely turns the evening on its head – under the guise of ducking out to talk to Pilgrim Rick about the furnace, he returns in character, knocking on the door and pretending to be Pilgrim Rick himself, at the room on a mission to fix the heating. The entire family’s reaction to Jack is so joyful – every single one of the kids is giggling, and Rebecca, who had been genuinely nervous when she thought Pilgrim Rick was knocking on the door, is clearly relieved – the family is finally LAUGHING, and they each really feel like themselves for the first time all Thanksgiving. In a whirl, a terrible gas station dinner becomes a thrilling floor picnic, complete with cheese dogs and Police Academy Three. Rebecca closes it all out with one last touch; Kate’s itchy sweater is coming undone, and it’s hard to avoid the symbolism here – while the family truly branches out to become their own unit, with their own celebrations, they physically destroy the only thing in their room that represents the holiday they were “supposed” to be having. Each family member yanks on the string, says what they’re thankful for, and throws the sweater to the next person. And so the holiday origin story is complete; the Pearson family traditions are born, the kids are enchanted, and the Thanksgiving holiday morphs from something each child was dreading into a truly special celebration of their unique identity.

 
 
 
source: thisisusedits.tumblr.com
 

Kate

source: NBC

source: NBC

Stuck on the West Coast with Toby, Kate’s position as the outlier was particularly intense this week. Even though Toby has decided to leave the group in peace, she’s still attending meetings, and this week the group focuses on each person’s Thanksgiving struggle. Everyone has a trigger that they’re particularly worried about, but Kate perks up when a member of the group mentions her gastric bypass surgery. It’s been a difficult road for the group member, but so far it’s been successful – she’s lost 30 pounds, and cautiously tells the group that the journey has been worth it. Frustrated with her lack of progress so far, and feeling particularly vulnerable after the change in Toby’s diet, Kate is visibly curious about the procedure.

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“I love the cereal but I need eggs.” – Jane The Virgin Recap – Chapter Fifty

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source: villaderogifs.tumblr.com

Jane The Virgin Season 3, Episode 6
“Chapter Fifty”
Posted by Kim

Lessons learned from this week’s Jane the Virgin:

  • Never trust someone with a British Accent who tells ridiculous stories and name drops like there is no tomorrow.
  • Always make sure your arepas are moist.
  • “If you love someone, you say it right then. Out loud. Otherwise…the moment just…” “Passes you by.”
  • Bruno Mars fixes everything.
  • No matter how hard up you are, don’t date your baby mama’s cousin. JUST DON’T. IT’S GROSS.  (I don’t CARE that you actually never had sex with your own baby mama. It’s still gross.)

Let’s get to it, shall we?

Jane the Heartfelt

source: michaelandjane.tumblr.com

source: michaelandjane.tumblr.com

When we last saw Jane, her long-lost cousin Catalina had literally just shown up on her doorstep. Our Narrator spent the intro of the episode reminding us how Jane used to have tea parties with her stuffed animals, longing for a sibling of her own to share them with. In Catalina, Jane appears to have all her dreams for a sister fulfilled. She’s vivacious, she’s spontaneous, she’s full of glamorous stories, and she even speaks Jane’s language in regards to believing in signs. The two cousins stay up all night talking and it seems too good to be true. Which means that it likely is. All of Catalina’s outrageous stories about just how awesome her life is reminded me a WHOLE lot of Malin Akerman in 27 Dresses – meaning that there is absolutely no way that she is telling the full story here.

Do I believe that Catalina flits about the globe? Sure. Do I believe that she doesn’t have a care in the world and everything has worked out exactly as she says? Nope. Me thinks there is a hell of a lot more to the story of just how Catalina wound up in Miami on Jane’s doorstep and I am scared to know what the answer is. My Spidey Senses are tingling, y’all. You know who is with me on the trepidation train? Michael. You can tell by every micro-expression that flits across that Brett Dier’s face that Michael is not fully on board with this but at the same time, he doesn’t want to rain on Jane’s parade when he knows how much this means to her. Thus, despite his obvious reservations, he agrees to Jane’s request that Catalina crash with them for a few days. (The way his voice goes all high-pitched when he says “Yeah, why not?” though. His distress is so subtle yet so obvious at the same time.)



source: aprilkeepner.tumblr.com

Catalina’s influence on Jane is swift. Professor Donaldson sets Jane up for an assistant interview with a Romance Publishing company (since she lost her TA gig due to Bachelorette Party shenanigans) and when Jane expresses her worries about not being able to properly prepare for the interview, Catalina breezily tells her to fake it till she makes it. (She also tells another outrageous story about how she faked her way through an interview and Michael’s face = me. Mmmmmmm OHMIGOD. Stop fuckin lyin’.) Listen, part of Catalina’s advice is sound: you should always lead with confidence when you go into a job interview. What you should absolutely NOT do is lie about your skills, especially when you are asked a direct question. A very harried Leslie (hey Kelly Rutherford) asks Jane if she is familiar with a software program, and when Jane lies and says yes, Leslie immediately asks her to help her troubleshoot a document. RUH ROH. Jane has no idea what she’s doing and accidentally erases not only the document Leslie had spent hours on but all the goodwill Jane had built up in the interview. Someone’s clearly not getting the job. A failed interview means naught to a free spirit like Catalina. She launches into yet another story (Michael’s inner monologue = BE COOL DON’T START YELLING) about how she was besties with Zac Posen’s assistant when she fucked something up during fashion week in Milan (WHO ARE YOU) while she sends Leslie’s assistant a pithy “Did I get the job?” text. Catalina is right on the money when it comes to buttering up assistants though. Her text opens up communication between Jane and Leslie’s assistant, Alice, so maybe that job isn’t a lost cause after all.

What I DO love about this whole situation with Catalina is that Jane stays very open about it with Alma, despite the fact that things are still very stilted between them. It shows just how much Jane respects her Abuela, because she could have very easily kept the whole thing on the DL since Catalina was only supposed to stay a few days. But that’s not the kind of person Jane is. And ultimately, keeping a chasm between her and her granddaughter is not the kind of person Alma is. Despite all her reservations about the whole situation, Alma agrees to have Catalina over for dinner because she hates feeling distant from Jane. The whole thing sounds like a recipe for disaster, especially when Catalina shows up free-boobing and clutching a rival platter of arepas. To the surprise (and delight) of Jane and Xiomara, Alma and Catalina get along swimmingly, as they laugh and tell stories of young Alma and her adventures. (She sounds like she was a saucy minx, which makes complete sense in regards to her total personality turnaround after the family fallout.) However, the evening comes unraveled when Catalina brings up Cecilia and Mateo. See, from HER point of view (since this is how Cecilia was telling it) ALMA was the one who did the man-stealing because Cecilia had her eyes on Mateo first. (This is also the story the rest of the family tells since Alma hasn’t been around to tell her side.) Naturally, Alma is enraged because to her, Catalina doesn’t know what she’s talking about. “Your Abuela is a LIAR,” Alma spits. “You’re as bad as your grandmother. And your arepas are dry.” LOW BLOW, ALMA. (Well done though.)

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“You have the forceful stream of a leader.” – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Recap – Why Is Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Eating Carbs?

Source: felicitybarry

Source: felicitybarry

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 2, Episode 4
“When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?”
Posted by Sage

It’s morning in West Covina, on the first day since she’s arrived that Rebecca Bunch hasn’t been chasing after Josh and/or Greg. Not that she’s over it. No, no, no – she’s so predictably fixated on the absence of them that Heather has made a business out of it. It’s a wonder that Rebecca’s new roommate isn’t a successful entrepreneur; it costs her no shame to monetize Rebecca’s weakness, instead, she calmly notes the debt Rebecca is racking up in $5 Josh increments. Heather is a secret genius: confirmed.

josh-fun

Source: bunchofbloom

Source: bunchofbloom

Heather is no commiserating partner. But Rebecca has her eye on another. When she spotted a bare-faced, carb-loading Valencia last week, Rebecca finally saw the weakness in her she’d been searching for all last season. But now she doesn’t want to exploit it. Well, not for boyfriend-stealing purposes, anyway. She wants to tap into Valencia’s misery vein, where they can feed off of each other’s pain in a primal, cavewoman kinda way. Rebecca even needs validation to be sad. Heather cautions that Valencia doesn’t want to hear anything about Stone Age female empowerment from Rebecca. She just wants to get her “now donut and her later donut” and get the hell outta there. “She hates you,” Heather reminds Rebecca. But Rebecca grins at her like a woman possessed. “She just thinks she does.”

Valencia gets the full force of Rebecca’s mania turned on her because she’s Rebecca’s last link to Josh. She figures it out pretty quickly when Rebecca shows up to her apartment uninvited and suggests they “ingest each others pain and sorrow.” But they’re not in the same situation, Valencia argues. Rebecca was the dumpee; Valencia was the dumper. But emotionally stable yoga teachers don’t fall into muffin binges for no reason. Rebecca is right on one count: Valencia is sad. She just doesn’t know it yet – or doesn’t know why she should be.

postmates

Source: bunchofbloom

Source: bunchofbloom

Rebecca can’t put her primitive bonding plan to work in the middle of a strip mall haven like West Covina. Fortunately, a solution presents itself in the form of Darryl and White Josh, who are preparing to head out to the dessert for Electric Mesa, a Burning Man-esque festival of self-indulgence and hipster cultural appropriation. Emboldened by the event’s promise to “connect, refresh, heal,” Rebecca knocks unannounced on Valencia’s door again. She coaxes the moper out of her apartment with the promise of Dairy Queen chicken baskets and blizzards (rude). Instead, she kidnaps her to Electric Mesa, still in her pajamas. After an hour of Rebecca’s begging, Valencia relents and gets out of the car. She’ll mesa, but only under protest.

port-a-potties

Source: bunchofbloom

Source: bunchofbloom

You guuuuuuuyyyyssss. Rebecca doesn’t whisk Valencia away with pure intentions, but still: Rebecca and Valencia bonding. For real this time.

The festival does get off to a rocky start. Rebecca pesters Valencia with Josh talk during her “sensory bath,” going against the one condition under which Valencia promised to hang out. (“So what IS Josh looking for? ‘Cause you and I are amazing.”) V sics Sherpa Allen on her kidnapper, and when the sound system dies out, she ditches the bath to look for an Uber. Frantic and looking for a reason for Valencia to stay (“I saw a woman with a bikini top made of the Bill of Rights!”), Rebecca drags her over to a tea stand. The thirsty girls down two cups of “earthy water” under the wide-eyed stare of the vendor. “You guys must have a really high tolerance.” They don’t get it. “A Triceratops tolerance? The hallucinogen Triceratops? A.K.A. 3-Tops? Meketyltrichlorocaine? Mixy, Toxy, Cloxy?” Excellent festival rule of thumb: do not ingest ANY unidentified substance, as you might end up in your own dream ballet. And that’s the best case scenario, tbh.

But before we dive into that inspired dinosaur-themed dance piece, let’s check in on our other characters. Josh, as is his way, has NO idea that these two women are pounding laced beverages because of his inability to be in a grown-up relationship. To be fair, he has his own problems. And he doesn’t seem to understand those very well either. Alex finds Josh in the Aloha break room, six hours early for his shift and organizing every thing he can get his hands on. Josh runs down the list of life events that are stressing him out, and Alex grabs onto the relationship side of things. “You’re a girlfriend guy, I can tell,” he says, coyly suggesting that he’ll be coupled up again soon. Josh protests that he’s actually fine being alone. But when Alex leaves, Josh turns his attention to untangling a mass of cords and batting away the negative notions that cross his mind. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is about mental illness as much as it is about independence. And this song tells me that Josh Chan has mild anxiety disorder, plus a touch of OCD. Even better, it’s an incredibly sharp parody of Jack Johnson and other ’00s surfer folk pop. Remember “Bubble Toes?” It’s that. And it’s SO GOOD.

Vincent Rodriguez III has been on another level this season. It feels like Rachel and the writers are writing FOR him a lot more, especially when it comes to the songs. “Ping Pong Girl” is in my regular rotation, and “Thought Bubbles” will be too. I can’t get over how well the hand-drawn animation represents Josh’s man-child nature. The “Obamas’ dog” line is 100% gold. From visuals to lyrics to performance, the season 2 musical numbers are nailing it.

Paula doesn’t have a song this week, but she does have her first day at law school. Rebecca drops her off at class, reclaiming the extra juice box she so thoughtfully packed for her. One of Paula’s classmates mistakes Rebecca for Paula’s daughter because of her “me me me” vibe. And in defending Rebecca’s honor, Paula blurts out that she just had an abortion and hasn’t been able to tell her friend about it because she doesn’t feel like she’s entitled to that space. (“I get it, I’m Barb, she’s Nancy.”) Her classmate, Sunil, has a good heart. I know this because he sees how uncomfortable her outburst made Paula and he evens the conversation out by telling her about his own recent life-changing event. His wife committed suicide, and he hasn’t been brave enough to tell his children what really happened. (“I told them she went to a mom farm upstate where moms run around all day.”)

Sunil and Paula bond over being the older students in the class and – as many of the greatest friendships I have were formed – through hating the same people. They struggle to keep up with the lecture and are entranced by a fellow student’s high-tech, low-effort note taking app. When Paula politely asks for the name of the program, the WASPy jerk responds that it’s Nunya. “Nunya business, biiiiitch.” Sunil and Paula are already feeling out of touch and silly, and this aggression will not stand, man. They have to get that app, even if they have to break into that kid’s American Psycho Junior dorm room to do it.

skulking skulking-2
Source: bunchofbloom
 

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“Reunited (And It Feels So Good)” – Supernatural Recap – Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox

Source: prettyboydean

Source: prettyboydean

Supernatural Season 12, Episode 5
“Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox”
Posted by Dawn and Jaymee

Yeah, we went there with the song lyric and we are not sorry. Because after “The One You’ve Been Waiting For” left us cold and kind of appalled, Steve Yockey turned out to actually have been the one we were waiting for when he gifted us with an episode that was all we ever wanted and more. Hunters galore, a family dynamic that actually went where we wanted it to go, and terrific one-liners. Sure, we missed Cas and Crowley – again – (who are thankfully back next ep) and we’d like to get back to the overarching mythos of the season (and more Rick Springfield, please), but this episode was our everything and we just couldn’t be happier.

The Hunters

So. Many. Hunters!! We have never seen a happy gathering of hunters before, and we had no idea how much we needed it until it happened. Yes, we had the roadhouse, but mostly that was just quiet hunters drinking on their own. We’ve seen other hunters before, but that rarely ended well. This time was different. This time, we had a shitload of hunters at a proper Irish wake, getting drunk, telling stories, and having as good a time as is possible at a funeral that also ends up with a demon body-hopping like mad. When our boys first showed up and everyone was like “Holy crap, The Winchesters?”, Dawn cheered out loud. Sam had a fanboy, for Chuck’s sake. It was glorious.

s2

Source: canonspngifs

Source: canonspngifs

 

Source: subcas

Source: subcas

JAY: Yeah, yeah, Sam’s fan boy was glorious, or maybe not, because honestly that’s every episode so far that they have brought up Sam’s time with Lucifer, so this is either foreshadowing or just…What…what is this?! WE KNOW ABOUT LUCIFER! We were there! We know, so unless you are bringing back Mark Pellegrino as Luci, I just don’t want to hear about it anymore. Jesus, Sammy, we get it. Lucifer’s chosen son. I’m over it. #BringBackMark

DAWN: That “he said that she said that Garth said” line might have been my fave line of the entire ep. And also, shut up, I love Rick as Luci. I loved Mark too, but this is a new Lucifer and I am liking the darkness Rick brings to him. #youbetterlovesomebody

Speaking of legends, pour one out for Asa. He had such potential and we wish there had been a lot more of him. The tales of his exploits were legendary in the community, to the point where there is a hunter drinking game based on them. Sure, his mother is an asshole, but from all we saw, Asa was well-loved and well-respected. We hadn’t seen a lot of that among hunters in previous seasons and we would have liked to get to know him better. Also, apparently he and Jody were a thing, and she kinda blushes when she talks about it.

The Banes Twins, Alicia and Max were young, hot, snarky, and competent. They were raised by a witch who taught them about bad witches, and good witches, and also some surprisingly helpful magic (apparently that’s more Max’s territory). We love them. Bring them back soon. Or give them a spinoff. (We ask for a lot of spinoffs, don’t we? Sorrynotsorry about that.)

s5 s6 s7

Source: canonspngifs

Source: canonspngifs

JAY: Did we say hot cause, dayumn, I could look at Max’s face all day and never get bored. Sadly, apparently not his type.

DAWN: Yes, you are missing a vital piece of equipment.

And in case you were wondering if it was official, yes, Sheriff Jody “BAMF” Mills is a bona fide hunter now, not just to the Winchesters, but to the hunter community at large, and everybody loves her. There are rumors and tall tales about her. She is Chuck-damn famous already.

Source: canonspngifs

Source: canonspngifs

Seeing how Jody, who in reality is a relatively new hunter, has already found herself a place in the hunter community really gets us thinking about the support system the Winchesters have been going without. Sure, they have Cas, but really who else do they have? Jody finding her feet in the community so quickly puts a stark light on how withdrawn and solitary our boys have become. Gone are the days of Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Rufus and Ash, our extended little hunter family. The rumors and legends about the “marveled and mysterious Winchester brothers” are, perhaps, so exaggerated because virtually no one in their own community knows them well enough to do more than that. Sure, the tales of bravery are super fun, but they don’t hold a candle to the reality of what our boys have done – good and bad.

s10

Source: canonspngifs

Source: canonspngifs

It makes us wonder, how could things have gone differently and who, if anyone, would show up to salt and burn of one of our boys? Where is their family, their community, their support? And don’t think they don’t know what they are missing. But maybe that’s the point. Push everyone away because they will only get hurt if you let them in. Chuck knows, that’s been Dean’s line since the beginning. He’s wrong, of course, but we understand why it’s not easy to make him see that.

Source: canonspngifs

Source: canonspngifs

With Jody such a stable figure in the hunter community, well, honestly, we don’t ever want to hear how SPN can’t write strong female characters ever again because look at her. Bask in her glory. Revel in her BAMFness. She is Wayward AF and we couldn’t love her – or the amazing Kim Rhodes, who plays her – more. In fact, more on Jody in the next section.

Can we get some mad applause for Billie the Reaper? She is a hunter in her own right – a hunter of Winchester souls, if she has her way. While we desperately miss Death and long for his return, Billie is filling those shoes like whoa. Here we have another strong, strong woman, the Reaper who has taken over for Death himself and who has no time for nonsense of the Winchester brand. (Also Lisa Berry, the actress who plays her, is so effing beautiful, she makes our hearts ache with both admiration and jealousy.)

s13 s14 s15

Source: subcas

Source: subcas

JAY: So there is something so ethereal about Billie, and I don’t know if it’s the fact that she doesn’t blink, like ever, or if it’s her flawless complexion. I want to think it’s that she doesn’t blink. It separates her from humanity, reminds us that she is unearthly, a being beyond that of mortals. She has this way of staring at her target, much like Cas does, but with Billie it is as if she already knows the answer, where Cas is still searching for it. With Billie we get these deep obsidian pools of her eyes, wide, large, eyes that draw you in compel you and the fact that she like never blinks, that there is never any reprieve from her gaze…well shit. It’s almost creepy! Totally everything a rules-abiding Reaper of Death should be.

DAWN: It’s her entire being—her stance, her walk, her expressions. Billie is not to be fucked with and every single thing about her makes that clear.

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“Back in the basement.” – This Is Us Recap – The Best Washing Machine in the Whole World

source: thisisusedits.tumblr.com

source: thisisusedits.tumblr.com

This Is Us Season 1, Episode 7
“The Best Washing Machine in the Whole World”
Posted by Shannon

Spending your adult life in New York comes with a set of special skills.  I can identify storage space in otherwise unnoticeable nooks, I can kill weird kitchen bugs without freaking out (too much), and I can do a pretty decent yoga practice in a confined space. But it also means some very standard facets of adulthood are completely and utterly foreign to me. Enter the washing machine. In-home washing machines are nostalgic entry points to my childhood rather than my adult life, and as the show moves us through the decades in the Pearson home, I was quietly flashing back to a series of personal vignettes set in New England houses in the 80’s and 90’s. The same thing happens for Rebecca; she finds herself a little lost in time, using home electronics as her guide. It’s the most banal moments that stand out, as is so often the case in life. Those small mornings spent warning of an impending machine break or digging out from piles of soapy water are the ones that remind her of how far they’ve come, and of the stability that the family has created for themselves. This week, we explore the most decades yet in one story, and the consistency of the characters throughout those decades stands front and center. That, and the fact that past decisions, no matter how well-meaning, never really go away.

Jack/Rebecca

source: thisisusedits.tumblr.com

source: thisisusedits.tumblr.com

When last we left Jack and Rebecca in terms of their respective careers, Jack had taken the promotion with Miguel and Rebecca had presumably stopped singing at the sports bar after the arrival of the Big Three. Now we find ourselves in the 90’s; Rebecca is gearing up to return to performing, and Jack has been settled into his desk job for quite some time. Things seem to be  going well at the firm – Jack has even landed a big, impressive-sounding new account. But he and Rebecca aren’t quite connecting at home. Their interactions this week are stilted and just don’t have the same feeling of unity that they have in the past. The most glaring misstep comes early in the episode; Jack almost leaves without giving Rebecca a kiss for the first time in 18 years. He’s so distraught that he still can’t shake the guilt, and throughout the whole episode, Jack never really feels like himself.

Rebecca, for her part, is juggling her family’s needs with a rediscovered focus on her own passions. After getting a call from an old friend, Rebecca jumps at the chance to spend some time performing again.  While she’s a bundle of nerves all day at home, Rebecca shows up to rehearsal prepared, warmed up, and wearing a genuinely fantastic hat. I love that she’s giving herself the space to continue performing; even though she clearly stopped for a while, and perhaps longer than she wanted, Rebecca is still the dedicated, focused, and inspired girl she was when she was singing for a bar full of fans before the Super Bowl.

Football keeps circling around the Pearsons during their most important moments; despite a late work meeting that came along with the new fancy account, Jack arrives in time to watch the high school game with Rebecca. It’s a tricky game in the best of circumstances; Randall and Kevin are now playing on opposite teams, and the teen boys have their own powder keg of problems developing. (More on that later.) However, Jack and Rebecca barely speak to each other in the stands – Jack initially starts off asking about rehearsal, but Rebecca, clad in beige so as not to promote one boy’s school over the other, only gets out a few initial thoughts before a random parent interrupts them to talk about Kevin’s quarterbacking skills.

Jack and Rebecca’s problems connecting this week felt…odd. Technically, both of them have what could be read as mildly flirtatious interactions with other people. The band leader clearly has a thing for Rebecca, and I don’t know what the office assistant, Heather’s, deal is but I do not care for it. (“Your wife should have caught that”?? Really, show? Ugh.) But all that said, I don’t think we’re looking at an affair plot here. Rather, I think we’re seeing the first signs of whatever illness is going to claim Jack. I can’t shake the suspicion that it was Jack who forgot to tell Rebecca about his big work deal, not the other way around, and This Is Us has proven that it has a real penchant for focusing in on character’s ages as focal points for plot: don’t forget that Grace’s son Jeremy, the family from the wake Kevin crashed, was 15 when his father died – the same age that the Big Three are this week. I think we lose Jack in the 90’s, and I think it’s going to be rough.

 
 
source: bigthree.tumblr.com

Randall/Kevin

source: bigthree.tumblr.com

source: bigthree.tumblr.com

This week, we finally got to focus on one of the relationships I’ve been the most curious about – Kevin and Randall, through the ages. We open on the two sharing a room at fifteen; Randall has stayed at his private school and recently joined the football team, while Kevin is well known as his school’s star quarterback. They’ve aged since their time at the pool, but the dynamic hasn’t changed: Kevin wants nothing to do with Randall, and starts a screaming match in the middle of the night while Randall is still up trying to finish all his homework. Rebecca comes in to sort them out, and though Randall tries to make peace by offering to do his homework in another room, Kevin jumps at the idea of his own space in the basement. Randall is visibly downtrodden at the suggestion, and even more heartbroken when Kevin acts on the offer the next day. In an effort to understand his brother’s constant rejections, Randall goes to Kate and asks her advice. Knowing the two brothers’ default position is intense competition, Kate suggests that Randall try to go make some jokes and relax a little. It backfires immediately. Randall’s jokes aren’t much better at 15 than they are at 36, and Kevin has no patience for his brother, kicking him out of the basement almost as soon as he gets there.

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“I am done with nice.” – Jane the Virgin Recap – Chapter Forty-Nine

source: evolregals.tumblr.com

source: evolregals.tumblr.com

Jane the Virgin Season 3, Episode 5
“Chapter Forty-Nine”
Posted by Kim

First of all, I apologize for skipping the recap for “Chapter Forty-Eight” which was an episode I ADORED (Rogelio and Luisa was EVERYTHING you guys). What can I say? I got hit with the election sads and then we had Long Island Who and then all of a sudden it was Monday again and I hadn’t even found the will to rewatch the episode to take notes. I promise I’ll go back and recap it when the show goes on winter break.

ANYWAY. A lot of good stuff happened in this episode. PETRA (the real Petra) IS BACK, Xiomara made an important career choice, Michael and Rafael bonded, and Jane found herself at odds with her grandmother for the first time in her life. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

Jane the Dramatic

source: evolregals.tumblr.com

source: evolregals.tumblr.com

At the end of “Chapter Forty-Eight,” much to the delight of Jetra shippers everywhere, Jane was FINALLY the one who question whether Petra was really Petra. Rafael and Jane go back and forth about the idea of twin-swapping because it IS outrageous. However, Jane and Rafael don’t know that they are living in a telenovela, where twin-swapping stories are the normal, not the exception.

Thanks to a NannyCam from Michael, Rafael observes Petrezka, looking for clues that she is not who she says she is. He overhears a phone call between Petrezka and her mother where Petrezka says “Okay, I’ll kill her then,” which spurs him into action. Rafael storms in right as Anezka is about to adminster Petra’s paralytic dosage and demands to know what’s going on. He calls her Anezka and MUCH to Anezka’s credit, she manages to only SLIGHTLY flinch before going off on a tirade. The damage is done though…Petrezka and Rafael argue long enough for the paralytic to wear off and for Petra to start moving.

What happened next was completely unexpected, for me at least. Once her breathing tube is removed, rather than declaring to the world that her identity had been stolen, Petra actually COVERS for her sister, saying that she is indeed Anezka. All the kudos to Yael Groblas for the way she schooled Anezka’s features into a “Yooooooooooo….really?” expression that spoke for ALL the viewers. Rafael slinks away with his tail between his legs, while Anezka squeals with gratitude, saying that she only did it because their mother told her to. “Do you have ANY idea what you put me through,” Petra snarls, grabbing Anezka by the neck. THERE’S THE PETRA I KNOW AND LOVE. It turns out that even after being Petrafied for three months (IMMA MISS THOSE PUNS), nothing can affect Petra’s shrewd business skills. She didn’t turn Anezka in for one reason and one reason only: it would nullify Rafael’s sell of his shares in the Marbella if it came out he sold them under false pretenses. Then Petra tells Anezka that she has to do everything she says, unless she wants to wind up in jail. First on the list? Breaking up with Scott.

Of course, Anezka balks at the request and asks her sister for time to pull away from Scott first, rather than dump him cold turkey. Naturally, this backfires as Scott, anticipating a break-up, proposes to Petrezka instead. Scott may be a diabolical son of a bitch, but I couldn’t help but feel bad for him in the end. I feel like his affection for “Petra” was genuine. It’s not HIS fault that he was being deceived. Scott goes to his new fiancée, saying he found a buyer for the hotel. Always keen to play the game, the real Petra put off dumping him until after she’s met the buyer. (Her FACE when he kissed her though. Amazing.) Petra and Scott meet with the buyer, who is totally on board, and then Scott suggests that it’s time for them to start looking for a house for themselves. It’s here where Petra proves that she’s not a complete monster, even after everything that has happened. She breaks up with Scott, but she does it gently and with kindness. “I’ve been married twice…and seeing this ring on my finger, it…made me realize I need to be on my own for a while.” PETRA CHOOSING PETRA. I live. She assures Scott that he’s been nothing but a true surprise in her life. Surprisingly, Scott takes it well, as if he’s been waiting for this to happen the whole time. He keeps it classy too. “You came from nowhere, and you’ve made yourself into this…total badass. Anyway, I…I won’t argue. I mean, if you’re willing to walk away from this hotel, which is all your blood, sweat and tears, well, then you can walk away from anything. Even me.” Okaaaaaaaay so now I am kind of rooting for the real Petra to fall in love with Scott? He sees her for who she truly is and he LOVES her for it. *Wipes a tear away*



source: sinrosetros.tumblr.com

Was tattooing “NOT PETRA” across Anezka’s forehead a little extreme? Of course. (OH MY GOD CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH THAT HURT? I almost passed out getting a tattoo on my foot, I can’t imagine my forehead.) But then again, Anezka tried to steal her life, so maybe it’s not. I’m very curious to see how Anezka is used from here on out. Petra makes it clear that the only reason she’s allowing her sister to stick around is because Elsa and Anna have bonded to her. Will she just be floating around in the background or will she have an ongoing story. I can’t imagine their mother taking all of this lightly. Bitch wants out of prison BAD, y’all.

source: evolregals.tumblr.com

source: evolregals.tumblr.com

With Scott’s words about walking away from the Marbella ringing in her ears, Petra confronts Rafael. She’s not going to be the one walking away from the hotel. He is. The power struggle for the Marbella is a bit of a retread, story wise (HOW MANY TIMES HAVE THEY FOUGHT OVER IT?) but what I appreciate here is Petra standing up for what she feels like she deserves. I’ve always felt like Petra has felt more accomplished regarding her work with the hotel than Rafael does, and honestly, I would love to see a story for Rafael exploring what he loves outside of his pressure to carry on his family legacy. But for the moment, Rafael is refusing to just walk away. “I’m only going to say this once, and if you repeat it, I’ll deny it,” Petra sneers. “You were right. It wasn’t me. And I heard everything.” Listen, I knew that people carrying on as if “Anezka” wasn’t conscious would bite SOMEONE in the ass. One moment in particular sticks out in Petra’s mind and it’s a damning one. Rafael observed Petrezka playing with the twins and commented that he was so glad she wasn’t missing the “mom gene” after all. YIKES. It’s a pretty insensitive comment ANYWAY, considering Petra struggled with postpartum depression. I can’t IMAGINE what kind of pain and insecurities it brought up in Petra KNOWING that Rafael thought that about her AND that it wasn’t HER he was complimenting. Listen, men of the world, the “mom gene” is not a thing. Being a good mother is not genetic and it doesn’t come easily (or at all) for some women and it shouldn’t have ANY bearing on a woman’s worth as a person. Got it?

I completely and totally empathize with Petra’s “I’m going to destroy you” attitude here because that’s what (in her eyes) she’s been reduced to. Petra’s character arc has been so interesting over the past two seasons as she has tried to open up and become vulnerable. She’s been clumsy about it at times but I genuinely believe that her motives in trying to “be a better person” have been pure. And she’s been burned by it, so she’s reverting to what feels safe to her. Her bitchiness is her security blanket. Petra hurts others before they can hurt her. “I tried nice. And I was freaking paralyzed, and nobody even noticed. So I am done with nice.” This apparent character regression pains me, but also I get it. PLUS, like any good soap opera, Jane the Virgin needs a scheming villain. The bitch is back indeed.

Jane the Heartfelt


source: evolregals.tumblr.com

Family is complicated as hell, y’all. Familial wounds are the hardest to heal and the pain often runs very, very deep. I love how season three has been slowly exploring Alma’s family dynamic, with Jane trying to gently push for more information while still respecting her grandmother’s wishes. While Xiomara and Alma’s often tempestuous relationship has been a cornerstone, we’ve rarely seen Alma butt heads with Jane. I think it’s a part of how a relationship between a grandmother and granddaughter is different from the mother/daughter dynamic; Alma tends to give Jane a lot more leeway than she gives her own daughter, as we see in the Disney World flashback. So I loved that Jane explored a massive conflict between Alma and her granddaughter this week. Both women have right stances in the conflict. Jane has a right to know her extended family and Alma has the right to say that Jane has no idea the pain that she is dredging up. I loved seeing how they handled it.


source: evolregals.tumblr.com

It turns out that while Alma has cut herself off completely from her family, her sister Cecilia has never stopped reaching out to her. Alma has an entire box full of letters, dating back over 40 years and she entrusts them to Jane, who is desperate to learn more about her family. Alma still doesn’t want to talk about what happened with her sister (“It’s all stories about people you don’t know.”) and Jane is emphatic that she doesn’t HAVE to. Just giving her the letters is enough and she tells her grandmother that she can trust her with them.

Jane stays up all night with the letters and she learns that her family is so much bigger than she ever knew. I think it’s SUCH a big deal that Cecilia has continued to write her sister all this time and I ALSO think it’s a big deal that Alma has kept the letters, even if she’s never read them. I think there is a big part of her that wants to forgive her sister, but she just doesn’t know how after all this time. Cecilia’s letters are conversational, telling stories of marriages, births, and deaths. It’s a virtual treasure trove to Jane, who stays up all night devouring them. The next day, Alma gets a phone call and she nearly drops the phone because it’s her sister. It turns out Jane donated to one of her cousin’s GoFundMe campaigns and Cecilia viewed it as Alma opening the door. Naturally, Alma is furious (“You didn’t THINK.”) and for the first time in her life, Jane is on the receiving end of her grandmother’s wrath. The scene where Alma closes the gift shop right in Jane’s face broke my heart.

It’s so hard because I see both sides of the story. Family is one of the things Jane holds most dear in her life, if not THE most important thing. There’s this great big family that she had no knowledge of. When her cousin Catalina reaches out to her via messenger and then via Skype, Jane LIGHTS UP. I imagine that she’s desperate for her SON to know his family. She wants him surrounded by oodles of cousins that will dote over him and she wants him to be surrounded by family members close to his age. She wants for him what she didn’t have. It’s important to her. At the same time, Jane doesn’t know the pain that Alma’s falling out with her family caused. Jane asks her grandmother if it isn’t time to let the past go and for her to find forgiveness. Alma tearfully tells Jane that the rift her sister caused ruined her relationship with her entire family. Alma’s mother DIED not speaking to her…and that’s something that she can never get back or change. That’s a hurt that is not easily healed. It is a rift that is, perhaps, not able to be fixed. And no amount of pressure from Jane is going to make Alma change her mind. Everyone processes pain differently and they do it in the way that allows them to get through their day. Alma is asking for Jane to respect that, even if she doesn’t understand it.



source: evolregals.tumblr.com

Ultimately, Jane tells her grandmother that she wants to be in touch with her relatives. She tells Alma that she’s going to build a relationship with them, even if she doesn’t have her blessing. Alma’s respect and trust is important to her, but so is this. “I’m not always going to agree with you. I can’t always agree with you.” I think Jane handles the situation with as much grace as she possibly can, And ultimately, so does Alma. She may not be willing to bridge the gap with her sister, but she ultimately isn’t going to try to stop Jane from reaching out. I love where this is going and I truly hope we get an Alma and Cecilia reunion before season’s end. (WHO WILL PLAY HER?) Jane and Michael come home to find Catalina on their doorstep. Naturally, my first inclination is to not trust her. WE SHALL SEE.

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“Who are you, Rebecca Bunch?” – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Recap – When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?

Source: bunchofbloom

Source: bunchofbloom

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 2, Episode 4
“When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?”
Posted by Sage

Rachel Bloom warned me. But I couldn’t watch this week’s Crazy Ex live. We were covering a con last weekend, so staying off of Twitter until I could was impossible. So it didn’t take long for a Satino Fontana exit interview to cross my timeline the next morning. MID-PANEL.

Kim: Is it bad?
Me: *nods*
Kim: Is it Greg?
Me: *nods*
Kim: …..
Kim: You look like you’re about to burst into tears.

Knowing what I knew, I put it off for a few more days. I cleared everything else off of my DVR before finally pressing play. It’s okay, though. I mean, it’s NOT. Not for me. But it’s a bold and character-driven story choice, unlike some write-offs I know. (*Glares at Sleepy Hollow*) Though I will love Greg Serrano until the day I die, Rebecca is the show. We’re here to see how she copes with situations like these. (Spoiler alert: not well.) And as I said in last week’s recap, there really was no realistic way to keep Greg in West Covina forever, even if the Emory money hadn’t come through as soon as it did. To paraphrase Rachel Green, “He lifts right out!”

Source: bunchofbloom

Don’t leave meeeeeeee. Source: bunchofbloom

At least Santino got two killer numbers in his farewell episode. The first takes place right after last week’s cliffhanger, when a sleep-rumpled Rebecca tries to stop him from getting on his plane. Her first argument is the afternoon that she saw him on the bridge in WhiJo’s favorite park – a sign, the universe telling them they should be together. But these signs are just Rebecca’s brain searching for links that will enable her to avoid choices all together. “Life doesn’t happen to you,” he tells her. “You make decisions.” And Greg’s decision is to stop treading water and actually move on with his life. They had their moments, he says. “Some of the best of my life.” But his feelings for her make him do dumb things; it’s why he didn’t come to say goodbye. Rebecca’s second case is that Greg really does love her. And he agrees, yes, of course he does. Rebecca never does say it back, though. And their chemistry has never stopped them from making each other miserable. Maybe things will be different someday, when they both get their shit together. But Greg’s last stand – his “My Way” – is convincing to me and Rebecca – two people who really don’t want to see him go. Also, you better SING, Santino.

Dr. Akopian was right, as usual. Rebecca was in no state to experience two break-ups in rapid succession. They send her to her couch, where good ol’ Paula is there to remind her that she still has a life. Rebecca dedicated herself to dealing with these men because it gave her purpose. Without Greg and Josh in her life, she’s lost, because she doesn’t have anything left to distract her from the things she doesn’t like about herself. “I don’t know who I am without them,” she wails. “I know that’s pathetic, but it’s true.”

be-yourself

Source: colinarthurgeoffrey

Source: colinarthurgeoffrey

After Paula leaves, Rebecca angrily scrubs a countertop and resolves to start her life over yet again. But she’s interrupted by two “memory spirits” – not to be confused with the considerably lamer “dream ghosts.” Memories of Josh and Greg haunt her house. And because neither of those relationships were healthy or functional, they’re all memories of doin’ it. Doin’ it everywhere. How can Rebecca even begin to extricate herself from Josh and Greg when they’re literally tap-dancing around her house pointing out all the places they’ve banged? I don’t know and I also don’t care, because ho-ly shit, look at these boys hoof it up.

tap-that-ass

Source: bunchofbloom

Source: bunchofbloom

I cannot believe “not on my chest” made it past the censors.

pancakes

Source: crazyexedits

Source: crazyexedits

Anyway, these dancing “polterguys” aren’t as cute to Rebecca as they are to me. So she puts together a haphazard purging ritual to banish them from her house. But her little boyfriend memorabilia blaze becomes a big four-alarm house fire, and that’s how Rebecca shows up on Heather’s doorstep wrapped in an inflammable blanket in the middle of the night. Heather’s indulgent parents (I knew she couldn’t afford that house on a bartender’s salary) take her in without question and begin to fuss over her like they must do Heather. (“Get outta my head, you angel!) Mrs. Heather Davis even lends Rebecca some of her work wear, so the lawyer can go into the office looking collected and totally over her two recent heartbreaks.

Source: bunchofbloom

Source: bunchofbloom

Unfortunately, some snarky 911 operator uploaded Rebecca’s emergency call to YouTube and now everyone in the office knows that Rebecca started a fire in her own house and then pooped in her backyard. Even worse, she’s yelling about Greg and Josh on the tape and now fears those guys will know how truly fucked up she is right now. And the last thing you want your exes to know about your post-break-up state of mind is the truth. Paula advises Rebecca to skip their meeting, but all that would do, Rebecca reasons, is further convince everyone that she’s falling apart. So Rebecca walks into a sit-down with the CEO of Miss Douche (Jane’s Yael Groblas in a nifty CW crossover) like a future cult member looking for a leader. She falls instantly under the spell of Trina’s faith in the “re-brand.” If a product as passe as douche can be marketed to the Coachella crowd, then surely Rebecca can chisel out some new version of herself.

In a characteristically professional move, Rebecca recuses herself from the case so that she can enter the competition to BE Miss Douche. It’s an Instagram throwdown with “mermaids who grew feet,” and Heather thinks it’s a disastrous idea. Her parents, on the other hand, are all about trying without a hope of success. It’s what’s shaped Heather into the unambitious cynic she is today. With their support (and a song), Rebecca embarks on a “makey-makeover” montage scored by a cloying Toni Basil-esque bop. (“Old you in the garbage, new you in display case!”)

What does being Miss Douche have to do with being a well-adjusted adult? Literally nothing, but Rebecca latches onto it anyway. If she can win this contest, everyone will know she’s okay. ( “Look at that new Miss Douche, she really has her act together.”) Of course, her J.Lo makeover achieves the opposite of her goal. She looks sad, desperate, and disoriented. And her “dead people hair” is literally falling out in clumps onto Paula’s desk. When she runs into Josh looking like a Jersey salon receptionist, he looks at her with pity. And he hasn’t even seen the video. (Polar bear related internet cleanse, natch.) Josh can be dense when it comes to reading people, but in this moment, he’s on the money.  “Whatever you’re going through right now,” he says, “it’ll get better, I promise.”

The reaction of her coworkers and one of two exes is not what Rebecca was hoping for, so plants herself back on another couch. Heather wakes her to tell her that the internet bots she paid to like her photo did their job whether she wanted them to or not; Rebecca is a Miss Douche finalist and damn if Heather is going to let her quit. I love what Heather does here, even though she thinks this contest is totally irrelevant and stupid. Her parents let her drop out of anything she wanted to. And though they really do think the world of her, that kind of enabling didn’t do Heather any favors. She’s beginning to realize that she should have been pushed. And if her parents showed their love for her by no letting her take shortcuts and sit on the sidelines, her life would be much different. Heather doesn’t want to see Rebecca back down for fear of failure or any other reason. (“Girl, get your hair glue and let’s vamanos.”) LADIES.

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“And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?” – Supernatural Recap – The One You’ve Been Waiting For

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

Supernatural Season 12, Episode 5
“The One You’ve Been Waiting For”
Posted by Dawn and Jaymee

DAWN: I would like to preface this recap by saying that my entire week was a shit sandwich, and SPN was supposed to be my BLT. It was not a BLT. It was barely even a B. Perhaps I put too much pressure on them. Perhaps I expect too much. Perhaps my shit sandwich got on their BLT. I don’t know. But one thing is for sure. Supernatural, I am disappoint.

JAY: I think the entire country’s week was a shit sandwich, Dawn, you’re not alone there. What I think the real problem was with this episode was there was no consistency. Episode 1 left us all DYING (in a good way). I died, multiple times, then I spasmed my way through live tweeting it. It was so good, it set me up for one of the best seasons to come out of Supernatural yet. Then Episode 2 happened, and ok I was good, I wasn’t Episode 1 good but we were working. Episode 3 made us angry but it was still good even though I was all WTF Mary. Episode 4 with Davy Perez behind the wheel really saved us, and Season 12 was off to a strong, strong start. And now, here we are, again, at the first the drop of the rollercoaster, it’s not a good drop. It’s a drop that yanks you hard and you bash your head on the stupid seat and you just kinda wanna get off because now your head hurts and this ride sucks. #sad

It all starts with a plot that sounds like the worst D-grade movie ever made. And we don’t mean the on-purpose ones like Sharknado, or beloved Ed Wood ones like Plan 9 From Outer Space, or Jaymee’s personal favorite Cube2: Hyper Cube. In fact, there is a 1968 made-for-TV movie called They Saved Hitler’s Brain. It is almost universally considered one of the single worst films ever made. You can watch the entire thing on YouTube. Dawn suffered through it one night and it was appallingly bad. Like not even tequila can save this kind of bad. Well, this episode comes this close to us telling you to go watch They Saved Hitler’s Brain instead. This fucking close.

source: canonspngifs.com

source: canonspngifs.com

Here’s the episode’s plot summary, from Dish TV: Sam and Dean race to prevent a group of Nazi Necromancers from resurrecting the Führer after finding out the soul of Hitler is trapped in a pocket watch.

That’s right, folks. A race with Nazi Necromancers who wanna resurrect Hitler’s soul from his pocket watch. We are not kidding.

source: rosewhipped22.tumblr.com

source: rosewhipped22.tumblr.com

Now here’s the actual plot summary of They Saved Hitler’s Brain, from IMDB: Nazi madmen preserve Hitler’s brain on a small tropical island until the time is right to resurrect him and, along with him, the Third Reich.

This is a joke, right? This is going to be some kind of haha, fooled you, Trickster thing, right?

source: gabrielxreader.tumblr.com

source: gabrielxreader.tumblr.com

Sadly, no. Also the fact that this ep is called “The One You’ve Been Waiting For” is just cruel. Because we were, kinda. This episode is connected to fan and critical favorite “Everybody Hates Hitler” (S8, Ep13), which brought the boys to the Men of Letters Bunker for the first time, and also introduced the character Aaron Bass (played to perfection by Adam Rose) and his golem. It was also the ep where we first learned about the Thule, aka the Nazi Necromancers (Dawn: Every time I write that, I get irrationally annoyed.) We love Aaron (and his golem), and we were super excited to have him back. Did we mention that Aaron hit on Dean and Dean’s squirming over that was glorious, and yea maybe we were hoping for more? (Jay: Also, because he’s all of our “gay thing” <3, and yes, we know he wasn’t actually gay.) Aaron is a legacy through his grandfather, in The Judah Initiative, though he in no way wants to be one, and he was stuck with a very pissed-off golem. Having Aaron back, hopefully with his golem, was like knowing ice cream was coming.

We barely got a sample of the ice cream. So here we are. Disappoint. Again.

Let’s try to split this up in as kind a way as possible: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good

The Winchester Family dynamic was on point in this episode. The boys were honest with each other, they were snarking, they were laughing, they were our boys again. Dean didn’t want any pie; Sam knew that meant something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Source: bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale.tumblr.com

Source: bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale.tumblr.com

And Dean actually told him what was wrong. Our hearts. They burst.

They went to a diner. Dean said “Gracias” to a waitress. We have missed this casual Winchesterness so much.

Dean was pretty much literally a bull in a china shop, and it was glorious, because for all Dean’s swagger and charm, he is as big of a doofus as his brother, and it was perfection to see again. The dialogue in that scene was also perfect, particularly Sam’s deadpan, “Maybe let’s not touch anything until we figure out if this stuff wants to kill us or not?”

source: nerd-dowell.tumblr.com

source: nerd-dowell.tumblr.com

Also, the boys kicked ass. It’s been a really long time since we’ve seen some serious hand-to-hand combat that didn’t result in them getting their asses handed to them, and we loved seeing some of Dean’s purgatory fighting skills coming back. The first fight scene was really nice. I mean aside from the fact that everyone got away and they lost their hostage. No matter. It was beautiful.

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

Dean and his rocket launcher. We all ship it.



source: littlehobbit13.tumblr.com

Ellie, our primary guest star, had some gorgeous eyebrows. Oh, and also she was played beautifully by Alison Paige, who was a fan fave all over Twitter the night the show aired. Also we loved her hair. But she also made us think of Charlie, and we are sorry, Ellie, but you are no Charlie. Jay has some words about this…

JAY: OK! No, SPN, Full stop, right there, do not proceed, do not pass GO, do not collect $200, YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Ellie is not Charlie, yes she is kinda cute and kinda dorky, but it’s almost like an off brand Charlie wanna be. And it’s not ok, and it’s not the same. Ellie is not Charlie, and you cannot make her Charlie. You can throw in as many Harry Potter references, and you can make her have a freak out, and you can make her talk to herself in the mirror (cause that was totally adorable but still…), she will NEVER be our Charlie, our Queen of Moondor, our Kick it’s Ass, taking on Dick Roman and the Steins and cracking the Devil be damned book of the..DAMNED! Our first, our best Woman of Letters. The baby sister they never had. You know what SPN, bring back Amara cause the fans have something to say. Give us what we REALLY WANT!  #BringBackCharlie #CharlieIsOurQueen #HandmaidenForLife #Bradbury2017

source: grumpy-doctors.tumblr.com

source: grumpy-doctors.tumblr.com

DAWN: Why don’t you just take this nice Castiel doll I made you, and some ice cream, and this nice soft blanket that I totally did not sew calming sigils into, and I will put on “LARP and the Real Girl” for you, ok, Jay?

JAY: Yes, please. I’m calm now. And I guess I should just say that Allison Paige did a great job, no problem with her, or her fabulous hair or her fabulous eyebrows, or her adorable nose.

We are back on track with the Daddy issues in this episode, since we’ve really had our fill of the Mommy issues for now. At this point, the Mary Winchester issues are leaving us way more unsatisfied than the John Winchester issues did. It’s really strange to say that, but John left us feeling emotionally fulfilled, mainly because he was easy to hate, easy to blame. It’s not the same with Mary, who just sorta left us feeling kinda empty. As weird as it is, we are glad to be back on the daddy issues train, so we are putting it in the Good column. Plus, Dean’s reactions to Kristo’s complaining about his Nazi dad were pretty damn priceless. Kristo complains about what it was like to have a Nazi Necromancer for a father, how his dad showed up to career day and or what it was like at Christmas. Dean’s there just looking at him like he has three heads and we can just hear his thoughts, like “this kid actually got a Christmas,” and “this kid actually got to graduate from one high school instead of getting shipped all over the country” or “this kid’s dad actually showed up for Career Day.” Shit, we were all actually pondering the idea that a Nazi Necromancer who’s trying to raise Hitler via pocket watch is a better father than John Winchester. That’s…that’s good writing. Damn.

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

Last but not least in our good bits section is the SURPRISE TWIST! Who expected them to actually drain the blood out of Ellie, cause it wasn’t us, that’s for sure! And it’s been a pretty long time since we got a nice juicy surprise like that. Of course, we have a lot of issues with this little plot point, which we will discuss shortly, but to see her strapped to the table and getting drained like that was a really intriguing surprise, to say the least. Good on ya, SPN, for that nice little twist.

JAY: P.S thanks for that nice shot of them all walking to the Impala at the end. You know we all have a thing for Jensen’s bowed legs, so SPN more shots of Jensen walking places, please, yeah more of that, for sure.

PLEASE. source: themegolasaurus.tumblr.com

PLEASE. source: themegolasaurus.tumblr.com

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