I’m as intrigued by the details of the Best Picture mix-up as everyone else, but the real mystery is WHO WAS THE GUY ON THE RED CARPET IN THE PINK TUX?
Listen, I hurt my wrist trying to pause the TV at just the right angle to capture him so please do me a solid and help identify him because I love him. Hands down, fave male look of the year. Okay, let’s talk dresses.
Taraji P. Henson
Does it get any better than this? Sleek, sexy, elegant. Navy velvet, darlings, not black. The slit. That neckline. And those diamonds.
AND GOD BLESS HER FOR MAKING RYAN WAIT. She’s well worth it.
This is quite possibly the best Oscar debut I have ever seen. I am in love with this dress and she wears it so well. I preferred this to the performance gown:
It has some structural issues with the bodice, yes? But I think that only stood out to me because the white and gold is flawless.
The queen has arrived to greet her subjects. No, seriously, check out the crown headband:
GORGEOUS. My only nitpick with the entire look is the earrings, which I noticed she took off at some point during the ceremony, so I feel validated.
And one last lingering look for the train.
Look at her, she knows she nailed it. FINALLY. Where has this flair for the stylish dramatic been hiding?
This is the kind of moment I’ve wanted for her, I loved it.
I think we all felt for Brie when she had to hand the award to the problematic (let’s say) Casey Affleck for the second time this season, so let’s pause to appreciate this lovely moment between her and Emma Stone after Emma’s Lead Actress win:
Supportive female friendship always makes me feel better. You?
Speaking of Emma, here we have another FINALLY moment. I wasn’t into the literal City of Stars gown for the Golden Globes and it’s best not to remember the SAG Awards look, but showing up in gold to collect your gold statuette? That I can get on board with. The top looks a little to me like the shape of a vintage bathing suit, but in a way that I respond really well to. And the fringe! I love a dress that has movement.
Hello, gorgeous. Now, I don’t know how I’d feel about this neckline on someone else, but she’s pulling it off. I love this shade of red on her and the gold accessories were the perfect complement. I don’t even mind no red lip is how much this whole look is working.
Side note, is that her actual engagement/wedding ring because I absolutely love when people do that.
So at first you think, “Wow, Meryl looks amazing in this Elie Saab, suck it Karl Lagerfeld.”
To which, of course, she’s like “thank you, thank you.”
PANTS YOU GUYS IT’S PANTS IT JUST GOT SO MUCH BETTER.
And THEN you think maybe your love for Meryl has reached peak levels for the night.
And you would be wrong.
B O M B S H E L L
I love the necklace.
The SHAPE of this gown, my god.
Tom Ford finally came through for Amy Adams, you guys. Look at this shimmery perfection.
This construction detail at the back interests me, I want to see more of it but I think she skipped the carpet because she didn’t get the nomination (which I’ve heard she absolutely deserved for Arrival).
But she’s not letting it ruin her good time. Cheers!
I love almost everything about this, but I think it was the sheer sleeve that really sold me. Honestly, I would change up the bodice a little, but the white and gold sparkles are so great on her and I’m really into the cape and the slit and the everything. Also, her earrings were definitely my favorite of the night.
Me to Hailee’s face: “Oh my god, I love your dress, where did you get it? Designer, so adorable.”
Me behind Hailee’s back: “That is the ugliest effing dress I’ve ever seen.”
Is that an Ivanka? (Shout-out to our friend Kerry, who texted this to me during the award ceremony. I’m still mad that I didn’t think of it first.)
I’ll admit, she almost got me – at first, I thought “oh, pretty, this is interesting,” but it was just her dumb beauty and poise luring me in. This is… not great, Bob. I mean, were you expecting to see a starter bra cape gown when you tuned in on Sunday?
ZAC POSEN IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
Washed out, washed up ballerina.
MEN ARE BORING: OKAY, FINE
I’d like to announce the winner of the 2017 Oscars Blue Tuxedo-Off (right down to the shoes, guys!).
To me, he is perfect.
Well, this is completely unfair.
Would you look at this dapper Henry Higgins motherfucker (shown here with lovely wife Kerri Higuchi, sorry ma’am, no disrespect meant).
This is ridiculous but I like it. Maybe he’s like my male Nicole Kidman.
THIS IS AN ATTACK.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
FUCK OFF, HONESTLY.
I would just like to point out that this section is incomplete without pink tux guy. Seriously, please help me identify him.
Quote of the Night: Tarell Alvin McCraney
When Barry Jenkins and Tarell Alvin McCraney won Best Adapted Screenplay for Moonlight, Tarell said, “This goes out to all those black and brown boys and girls and nongender conforming who don’t see themselves, we’re trying to show you you, and us.” Listen, our country has made some backwards progress lately, shall we say, so I can’t imagine the impact this kind of statement has right now, and I’m humbled to listen.
On a sartorial note, I’m sad to report that this tux does not appear to be the pale pink I thought it was when I was watching on Sunday, but it’s still amazing.
Life Partners: Michelle Williams and Busy Philipps
Look at these gorgeous, stylish ladies.
See, supportive female friendship does make you feel better.
They shouldn’t remake FIRST WIVES CLUB, but if they ever did…
I’m really going to miss this beautiful-on-the-inside-and-out trio next year. So when I saw Vulture’s tweet, I was immediately drawn to the idea and consulted Sarah, my writing partner on the FWC Life Lessons post. While we would both be fine with any combination really, Octavia as Annie is our first choice (that quiet strength), then Taraji as Elise (diva with a heart of gold) and can you imagine Janelle with Brenda’s snappy quips because I really can.
Most Handsome Young Man: Lin-Manuel Miranda
HOW PRECIOUS WAS HE. Enthusiastic, grateful, bashful. And dapper to boot!
I’ll Drink to That: Shirley MacLaine
How can you not love a broad in a sparkly pant suit?
I like her but she has so much earrings on her: Charlize Theron
I admit, I stole this from the child of a friend of friend because it is so apt. SO MUCH EARRINGS ON HER. And they don’t really seem connected to the dress to me?
And I love this dress, although it might broaden her a bit? But the EARRINGS. And that PONYTAIL. No.
Oh, no, you don’t understand, this is an Alaia: Scarlett Johansson
I know Azzedine Alaia is like a totally important designer, but I don’t really get this.
Seriously, when will the sheer skirt’s reign of terror come to an end?
Although who wasn’t delighted to see Cap and Black Widow seated together? No offense to their dates, but why didn’t these two just bro-ttend together?
And Denzel, seriously, you would look so much prettier if you just smiled once in a while.
Can You Ever Just Be Whelmed? Nicole Kidman
Guys, I miss the parrots.
I Just Think It’s Funny How: Emma Roberts
Emma chose this vintage Armani gown as part of the Red Carpet Green Dress challenge, which, okay, is admirable. Setting aside the fact that 2005 is considered “vintage,” I think the top is a little revealing for the Oscars (get off my lawn, Emma!) and I’m not wild about the tier toward the bottom, but you know me and black and white. So I just think it’s funny how Emma laughed uproariously at the memory of telling her aunt Julia to wear the “skunk” dress the year she won for Erin Brockovich. I know we don’t use the CD word, but I might need Emma to calm down a bit (seriously).
You’ve Got a Friend in Me: Alicia Vikander
At first I thought this song was an odd choice to play as Alicia came on stage to present, but then I realized that she DOES have a friend in me because I always love her looks and want to include them, and this divine black is no exception.
Snore: Isabelle Huppert
I can tell I’ve been rewatching too much Real Housewives of Orange County when this is the only reaction I can muster to this look:
Really? Jennifer Aniston
I personally think it’s a little on the nose to wear black to introduce the In Memoriam, but at least the dress is a little slutty?
I also have to do a Seth and Amy style “really?” about the hair and makeup because it’s just so monochromatic. I’m over it. GIVE ME LIPSTICK. GIVE ME A SMOKY EYE. SOMETHING. ANYTHING.
I Can’t With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears: Kaley Cuoco
Every time. Even when she doesn’t show up.
I Can’t With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears Runner-Up: Jessica Biel
It’s so annoying watching her try to have a personality.
SHE’S RUINING JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE FOR THE REST OF US.
What were your Best and Worst looks of the Oscars? Let us know in the comments!