Regular (or even occasional) readers of Head Over Feels know how much we love Doctor Who. We’ve been going to Doctor Who conventions for four years now and our gateway and fave Doctor Who convention is Gallifrey One, the first, largest, and longest-running Doctor Who fan convention in North America. What started as a group of four girlfriends excitedly but timidly (yeah right, but just go with it) venturing into the world of fan conventions has evolved over the past few years into a place we truly feel at home with our ever-growing group of friends-turned-family. Plus, we cosplay and it’s fun as hell.
This year, in addition to our now-traditional group cosplay, one of our original con bitches had a particularly interesting cosplay journey. And she’s here to teach you how to follow in her shape-shifting footsteps.
- Plan to go with your fly-ass girl group to L.A. for the biggest, oldest Doctor Who convention in North America over Presidents’ Day weekend, as you have for the last four years.
- Decide to go with a subset of said fly-ass girl group to see the Backstreet Boys in Las Vegas “on the way” to the convention, solidifying the best Valentine’s Day plans possible.
- Have a friend in said fly-ass girl group request that, given the occasion, everyone should wear red to the concert. Agree without hesitation because FUN, but also because it was not a request.
- Waffle between wearing the cute red dress you own or buying something new. You really should be saving money and that dress is cute, but not HOT, and it really only works with heels and you’re not wearing torture devices to a concert that will include basically no sitting, but you’re trying SO HARD to be good and finally pay off your GD credit cards and oh! Don’t you have a red sequin tank top?! AND holy crap wouldn’t it look AMAZING with red leather leggings and OH MY GOD remember how you found those amazing and cheap leggings that looked like a cross of liquid and fake leather and latex (but kind of trashier) that you bought in navy blue last year and you’re preeeeeeeetty sure red is one of the other thousand colors they come in and yes god bless the internet click click BOOM! Purchased. Okay, phew, now try them on with the sequin tank top the SECOND they’re delivered and text your friends a sneaky peaky.
- Okay, now, because you’re you, lament what a shame it would be if you brought an all-red outfit for the concert just to have it laze around in your suitcase for the whole L.A. nerdfest weekend because suitcase space is precious and okay what kind of costume…think, THINK! There have been 54 YEARS OF THIS FUCKING SHOW there must be an all-red – ZOMG!
- Yes, okay, accept that this is what is happening. Now, how exactly? Oooh, remember how when the zygons first re-emerged in NuWho, you heard or read or whatever someone mention or write or what have you something about a running joke about the monsters made of bubble wrap AND YOU KNOW YOU’VE SEEN COLORED BUBBLE WRAP BEFORE YES BACK TO THE INTERNET. Click click BLAM! Purchased.
- So, what else? Sequins and fake leather and bubble wrap do NOT a Zygon (quite) make. Google image Zygon and remember, okay, they’re not actually all bubble wrap, they have some pretty big suckers, huh. You know what, you bet GODDAMN RED CUPCAKE PAPERS WOULD WORK. Type search YES! CLICK CLICK KAZOW! MINE!
- Hey this is actually going to be pretty good maybe OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT REMEMBER HOW YOU ALMOST WENT AS A CONEHEAD FOR HALLOWEEN LAST YEAR BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING TO BE AT A COMEDY FESTIVAL THAT WEEKEND WHICH INEXPLICABLY HAD A SPACE THEME BUT THEN REALIZED IT’D BE SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE AND MAYBE HOT AND ALSO PISS OFF THE PEOPLE SITTING BEHIND YOU BUT YOU’D ALREADY BOUGHT SO YOU POSSESS A PRISTINE SNL LICENSED CONE HEAD IN YOUR COSTUME BOX? Well, what a beautiful coincidence/gift from the universe because ZYGONS HEADS ARE KIND OF CONE SHAPED BETTER GET SOME RED FUCKING TISSUE PAPER AND DOUBLE SIDED TAPE. Walk walk, swipe (because sometimes you go to actual Walgreens instead of just internet purchase sites JESUS Y’ALL).
- Be happy with how this is coming together, you think you’re actually all set WAIT hold up. What are you going to do about your FACE? Mmmm you DOOO have turquoise mascara that you got for like $10 at the Sephora across from your office on a whim and now treasure – maybe they have a red one? Walk walk, pffft. Okay, well, you can’t win ’em all. Oh, but what’s that, immaculately make-up’d salesperson? There IS a red mascara? It’s Marc Jacobs (LOL WUT WHY) OH IT’S THIRTY SIX DOLLARS – oh well NO TURNING BACK NOW BITCHES YOU GOTS A COSTUME TO FINISH MIGHT AS WELL TOSS SOME RED EYESHADOW IN TOOOOO. Giggle squee SWIPE. Got it!
- Alright, you’re IN this now, girl. What are you going to do with your arms? Besides sticking a few red cupcake papers on them. OoOOOoooH what about some long red “satin” gloves? Let’s go full fancy with this! Aside from the conehead and bubble wrap and cupcake papers, that is. TO THE INTERNET. Yes, yes, here are some nice simple cheap long opera style red gloves, perf – what’s this now? Over here in the “related items” … GREAT NEWS, Y’ALL there is an entire GENRE of something called bridal prom occasion opera gloves and they are available in MANY colors and they are often fingerless and they are ALWAYS some glorious combination of lace and sequins and ruching. And wouldn’t that texture just do mighty fine for a zygon’s scaly skin! Cue 30 minutes of agonizing over which of the 10…now 6…now 3 approximately $7 finalists you should actually buy, aaaaaaand click click POW! Purchased!
- Realize hey, shit! You don’t have red shoes. That will not do. Okay, well, better just pop into every shoe store in a 3-block radius. Hmm, no thanks Skechers – too athletic. Yoga/barre method athletic, not actual runner athletic, but even so. Doc Martens? Easy there, you’re trying for cheap here and you just spent FIFTY GODDAMN DOLLARS on red mascara and eyeshadow. Hey LOOK, that Aldo display window has some brightly colored stuff. Couldn’t hurt to wander on in…saunter sashay HALT. OH! My. Fucking. GOD. Remember how you were musing to yourself the other day how the absolute ideal shoes would be red sequin van-like tennis shoes because they’d comfy and perfect and you’d actually wear them again? WELL GUESS THE GODDAMN WHAT? Basically your exact dream shoe is on the SALE RACK RIGHT THERE.
- PHEW! Take a minute, girl. Marvel at the forces swirling around the universe that saw fit to bestow these GIFTS upon you over the past 96 hours. Inhale. Close eyes. Hold it. Exhale. Beautiful. Okay, let’s go.
- Now, look. Yeah it’s annoying that you forgot to pack the red eyeshadow. But that’s what god made lipstick for. And sure, you were also going to use that eyeshadow as real aggressive blush, but your friend has a fat red lip liner that inexplicably creates hollow circles just after you sharpen it a bit AND AIN’T THAT JUST THE ZYGODDAMN BEST FINISHING TOUCH.
So, yeah, having a fly-ass girl group (and fandom generally) that inspires this kind of cosplay magic is a gift of joy and fun. It fills life with both energy and peace. And sometimes, in the best of times, the passion and fervor that drives your love of boy bands and TV shows and each other will fuel something else. Something bigger than yourselves. Sometimes, your Doctor Who fanmily, which started with your fly-ass girl group years ago and has expanded beautifully to include a diverse multitude of wonderful people, decides to harness the power of fandom for the greater good.
Early last week, a group of Doctor Who fans and podcasters launched an effort called “Who Against Guns” to raise money for organizations working to end gun violence. To inspire the Doctor Who community to donate toward this cause, the group has compiled an incredible variety of incentives, including a variety of giveaways and an exclusive commentary by a myriad of podcasters, writers, and Doctor Who creatives of classic Doctor Who story, “The War Games.” We’re in our final days of the fundraising push, and we hope you’ll join us! Learn more at http://www.realitybombpodcast.com/whoagainstguns/
Excited about “Who Against Guns?” Inspired by recent (or longstanding) activism in the United States or your country? Just want to share your creative cosplay origin stories? Come hang with us in the comments!