“Time to switch positions.” – Scandal Gif-Cap – Fates Worse Than Death

Scandal Season 6, Episode 3
“Fates Worse Than Death”
Posted by Kim

When Season Six of Scandal premiered, I was SUPER bummed that we jumped over the entire Presidential Campaign to get to election night. We skipped over SO MUCH good stuff. Needless to say, I’m THRILLED with how they are toggling between the present day and the highlights of the Campaign. This week, we get to spend time with our favorite master manipulator, Cyrus Beene. TO THE GIFS.

It’s 76 Days till the Inauguration and we still don’t have an OFFICIAL President.

Okay, I get that Cyrus is the Devil but let’s take a moment to appreciate that he would be the First Openly Gay President.  The ONLY white hetero man on that Presidential ballot was Jake and I just want to thank Shonda Rhimes for creating this universe.

“For the first time since election night, you seem you. I like it. Mr. President.” I love how Michael has transformed from Male Escort and marriage of convenience to Husband of the Year. Cyrus does NOT deserve him.

Abby calls Cy in FULL BossBitch mode and tells him to shut his blinds. “In 30 seconds, you no longer talk to ANYONE.” Aw yeah, the shit is about to hit the fan.

David Rosen is giving a press conference saying they are expanding the investigation into Frankie’s death. When asked if this will include Cyrus, David simply replies “Anyone and Everyone” with a dead ass “CYRUS DID IT” face.

Never one to listen to anyone, Cyrus opens his front door and finds a swarm of press and paparazzi on the front lawn.

“Now every idiot with a smart phone thinks he’s Ken Burns.”


 

“Charlie we are NOT making a sex tape.” COULD YOU EVEN IMAGINE.

“We need to focus!” Huck has no patience for this twitterpaited nonsense known as Charlie and Quinn.

We flashback to the night of the Vice Presidential Debate, where Cyrus DEMOLISHED Jake.

Ooooooooh Frankie seems VERY buddy buddy with Jennifer Fields aka the Campaign Volunteer who incriminated Cyrus before someone blew up her cabin.

“Who is THIS?” Cyrus’ Spidey Senses are telling him we could have another Fitz/Olivia on the Campaign Trail situation on our hands and he isn’t having it.

Back in the present, Cyrus is spiraling. “I am being set up by Olivia Pope.”

“To answer your question, no, I didn’t do it.” Michael is like “Okay, yeah, sure babe. But DIDN’T YOU?”

Lizzie Bear shows up at Cy’s back door. “I crawled across the lawn to get here. My hands touched the ground. Let me in.” BLESS.

“You are literally a snake in the grass.” I love how much they hate each other but are also the best of friends?

“Has ANYONE taken your call?” Lizzie pulls no punches and hits Cy right where it hurts. They BOTH know he’s being shut out.

“And how do you want to help YOU?” Cy knows Lizzie’s visit isn’t selfless. She wants something and what she wants is to be his Chief of Staff.

Back to the night of the VP Debate, Liv and Cyrus engage in some fake “Oh I miss  you so much” banter and some backhanded compliments regarding his performance in the debate.

“I’m saying you’ve changed, you’ve evolved, you’ve grown. You’ve gotten good at this.”

“So I’m no longer the troll under the bridge who grunts and snorts, there’s lipstick on this pig now, and look at the monkey dance? That doesn’t even make sense.” Look, I’m with Cyrus here. This conversation would make my head explode.

“I was wrong. I’m saying I was wrong. Look at you. You’ve bloomed. So maybe putting yourself on Frankie’s ticket wasn’t the worst…” JUST STOP TALKING OLIVIA.

“Putting myself on the ticket? I put myself on the ticket? That’s what you think?” I meeeeeeeean, it’s what we all thought, Cyrus. BUT ALSO this is Olivia Pope’s fatal flaw: she throws around comments like this and COMPLETELY underestimates how deep they cut and how it just kicks people’s pride into overdrive. She did it with Abby and now she’s doing it with Cyrus.

“I made his policies, I hid his secrets, I ran his country. Watched the two of you grope each other like a cheap porno. And none of you ever saw me. And that’s fine. You think what you want to think of me. I certainly have all kinds of opinions about Olivia Pope.” YASSSSSS I LIVE.

“You better watch yourself.” Part of me misses when Liv and Cyrus worked TOGETHER but seeing them as adversaries is just so much more fun because they are both MASTER manipulators.

Meanwhile, Abby continues to be the best as she silently stands in judgement of Fitz for pursing the Cyrus angle. She gives him the judgy silent treatment until Fitz can’t take it anymore and I JUST LOVE how she is the only woman on this show to have never been dickmatized by him.

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“The view from here” – Scandal Gif-Cap – Survival of the Fittest

Scandal Season 6, Episode 1
“Survival of the Fittest”
Posted by Kim

Aaaaaaaaaaand we’re back. GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG.

When we last saw Scandal, Mellie had just won the Republican Nomination for President. Cyrus had pulled a fast one and gotten on the VP Ticket with Frankie Vargas. We were ready for a Battle Royale, where our fictional President would be either a woman or a Latino. It was a DREAM. And then Kerry Washington had to go and get pregnant again (CONGRATS) and our beloved Scandal was pushed to midseason, after the ACTUAL election that turned the world upside down. How will Scandal play out in this new reality we’re all living in? Let’s get to the gifs and see.

We open with Huckleberry Quinn traipsing through the woods on some sort of mission. Remember when they used to have hate sex? If I have to, so do you.

“He could have gotten to her.” How much time have we jumped? Who is he? WHO IS HER? GOD I MISSED THIS SHOW.

In typical Scandal fashion, the Cabin in the Woods explodes.

We flash back 24 hours and it’s Election Night. Team Mellie is gathered around the TV watching the returns come in. The map is an equal distribution between red and blue. Suddenly, Scandal has become a documentary and it’s TOO REAL. (Except Frankie Vargas has a moral compass.)

“I want ‘I voted’ stickers on everyone!!!”

It all comes down to California, which is hilarious because California hasn’t gone Republican since 1988. But it IS Mellie’s home state, so making it a battleground makes total sense. PS I always forget Mellie is a Republican.

 “Olivia’s Business Walk is my favorite thing.” – Sage

Olivia shoots back some whiskey after talking to Charlie who apparently works here now. She knows.

Frankie wins. I get that this makes better television, but DAMN SHONDA IF I DIDN’T NEED THIS. Why why why why.

“Obviously there has been voter tampering!” Mellie goes straight to denial.

“And make sure that the entire campaign staff is aware that this race is far from over.”

“Mellie needs you.” At least Fitz recognizes this is the most important relationship on the show.

“I NEED A MINUTE.” What Fitz isn’t getting is that this loss means as much, if not more, to Olivia as it does for Mellie. And she needs a minute to deal with that before she has to be the bastion of strength for her candidate.

DON’T SEEK COMFORT FROM HIM OLIVIA.

I forgot Will’s wife from Glee was here. She’s drowning her sorrows in booze, so she can stay.

“NO WE ARE STILL IN THIS!!!” WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.

“You have to make the call now, Mellie, before too much time goes by! You wait too long, the press out there is gonna say you’re ungracious. They’re gonna label you a sore loser.” I mean that’s actually what happened IRL, like I said, this show is now a documentary.

“And because you’re a woman, half of them are gonna call you a bitch, and half of them are gonna report that you cried.” AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH THOUGH.

“You don’t go down like that. We don’t go down like that.”

“Make the damn call.”

Olivia can’t even deal with this.

Mellie, my sad queen. Bellamy Young is SO GOOD, y’all. The way she lowers her voice as she speaks to Frankie is so brilliant. WHERE ARE HER EMMY NOMINATIONS?

Olivia giving Mellie prompts for the phone call.

Mellie drinking the victory champagne in the bathtub. Gurl, same.

Mellie and Liv passing the bottle back and forth. PLEASE BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

“You know what gets me? Cyrus. Cyrus Beene was on the winning team. Cyrus Beene gets to hold public office. Can you believe?”

The way they laugh when they say “Vice President Beene” though.

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“That’s American greatness.” – Scandal Gif-Cap – Trump Card

Scandal Season 5, Episode 20
“Trump Card”
Posted by Kim

Good news, everyone. The race for the White House is back in full swing AND I saw Hamilton since the last time I did a gif-cap, so I can now use those gifs and actually know what they mean. Who is going to be in the room where it happens? Let’s get to the gifs and find out.

“This is our country. I aim to keep it that way.” Hollis is leading the primary now. Look at your life, America. Look at your choices.

“It’s like Throwback Thursday: Gladiator Reunion.” Liv and Abby unite so they can shut this madness down.

“No more campaigning against each other.” Then Liv and Abby give each other the fakest goodbyes possible.

“I need something LEGAL on Susan.” Yeah the whole not campaigning things lasts 30 seconds.

“Ceasefire get broken. We need to be protected.” Okay, so the not campaigning against each other IS on but Liv wants to be prepared for the moment it’s OFF.

“We’re gonna have a war on our hands.” #TeamSusan searches for dirt on Mellie so they can be ready too. This gon get nasty REAL quick.

“I brought lunch to you!” David continues the “Kiss Susan’s Ass Until She Forgives Me” 2016 World Tour.

“We are going to burn Hollis Doyle and his hillbilly hate to the ground.” Susan explains why she’s coming up with all sorts of neutral language about Mellie. It’s all about destroying Hollis for the moment. Then they can get back to destroying each other.

All of David’s legalese.

“You want to take me on a vacation?” I mean it’s the least he could do.

“I focus on all the ways I intend to make it up to you.” YOU BETTER.

“I’d like for us to get old together. Eyes on the prize.” UM.

“I don’t want to be a woman who thinks a thing is happening that’s not happening.” SAME.

“I may or not be suggesting that we get married.” UM YOU COULD PROPOSE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, YOU SHIT. SUSAN DESERVES ROMANCE.

“Ask me like a normal person.” That’s right. Stand up for your right to a proposal!

SHE SAYS YES. Really?

“He likes holding people’s babies. He likes talking to people. He truly wants the country to be a better place.” Liv and Cyrus meet up and Cyrus goes on about how Frankie is actually a good person and he doesn’t understand why he’s losing in the polls.

“You believe he’s the real thing.” You know, I don’t think Cyrus ever talked about Fitz this way, so Liv in awe.

“No. YOU believe. You. Cyrus Beene, you are a believer.” 

“If I’ve lost my touch, I need to know.” If Frankie is so great and Cyrus has picked a good one then WHY IS HE LOSING? I know Cyrus is the devil, but he’s pretty vulnerable here, which is why Olivia has mercy on him.

“You’re not losing to Edison. You’re losing to my father.”

“So what are we doing? What’s the plan? I’m happy to go all in with whatever you’ve got going on.” Honestly, bring back the evil genius dream team.

“I’m not fighting my father because there’s no way to win.” DON’T GIVE UP OLIVIA.

“My father was command, Cyrus.” EVERYONE DRINK.

“It’s about you. What you want.” Rowan pulls Abby into one of his shady limo meetings.

“This will crush Mellie and give your gal a real shot.” Soooooo…Rowan tells Abby all about Olivia aborting Fitz’s baby because somehow that will ruin Mellie. And because he’s Satan.

“Ask yourself a simple question. What would Olivia Pope do?” Fair point, Rowan.

“Our target for destruction: Hollis Doyle, the devil you’d love to have a beer with.” Abby, Liv, Huck, and Quinn gather in the OPA conference room to go through the file on Hollis. JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.

“No matter what he does, America loves him.” YEP.

“Hollis loves him some women and women love Hollis.In all my years, not a one of them fillies ever needed an arm twist to roll in my hay.” That is how he responds to rape allegations? I want to vomit.

“His numbers went up?” I weep for fictional (and real) America.

“Books and thoughts? They don’t hurt people! Well…maybe books.” He just keeps running his mouth and counteracting everything.

“You’re looking at the front-runner for the Republican nomination.” #TeamEdison thinks they have this thing in the bag.

“You feel me, brother? This is America, you have another crop of supporters.” Edison wants to speak out against Hollis but Rowan warns him to not piss off the white people who want to vote for Edison so they can feel superior. AMERICA.

“That is an incredibly simplistic view, Rowan. Race is nothing more than a social construct.” I don’t understand how Edison, a man who deep down is a man of integrity, got roped into this mess. Also, he’s not here to be used for his race.

“You’re going to get there by making everyone forget that you are black.” THIS IS AWKWARD.

“So maybe it’s smarter to let the Republicans go after Hollis.” Edison REALLY wants to be President though.

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“Do you want to be a boss?” – Scandal Gif-Cap – The Miseducation of Susan Ross

Scandal Season 5, Episode 16
“The Miseducation of Susan Ross”

Posted by Kim

There is NOTHING like an election to revive a long-running political drama. Scandal is at its BEST right now and I am loving it. TO THE GIFS.

We pick up right where we left off last week…The Republican Debate. 

Susan, reeling from dumping David, just looks miserable up there. 

Mellie, on the other hand, is SLAYING.

“It’s a big problem. we need to do better.” Susan has completely shut down and can barely work out a response.

“This is very bad.” Thank you, Captain Obvious.

“If you were to lose the nomination…” “Not going to happen.” Mellie is poised and confident and *I* want to vote for her.

“Vice President Ross is a decent, hardworking public servant, and she would be worlds better and far more deserving of this office than the misogynist playboy to my left.” LADIES SUPPORTING LADIES.

“I can only imagine what your plans for Camp David would be.” 

“A lot like your ex-husband’s I’d expect.” Touche, Hollis.

“Listen, if all it takes to be presidential is to shake hands and give speeches and know which color lipstick to wear to the party, then go ahead on. Take your pick of one of these Bettys.” OH MY GOD.

“How presidential is it to have your ex-husband’s ex-mistress running your campaign?” 

“Susan? Having fun?” Fitz calls for a commercial break pep talk and I feel so strange for not hating him.

“You only need one moment. One punch. One good one is all it takes.”

“We’re in real trouble here because of YOU.” LizzyBear lets David have it and for once it’s merited.

“How do we know this Grant ain’t the same as the other one?” 

“Because it’s the 21st century. You can’t look at a man anymore and assume that his wife shares the same positions, nor can you hold the wife accountable for his actions.” MELLIE.

“We are not our husband’s keepers. We are our own women with our own beliefs.” 

“In case there is ANY doubt on where I stand with the President, you’ll notice he’s my ex-husband, not my husband.” 

“It IS a good line.” Bless Abby for not being afraid to admit when her opponent kills it.

Susan parrots Mellie’s line and it looks like all is lost. BUT THEN SHE ADDS “…but maybe we should be”. 

“I’m talking now.” YAS SUSAN HAS DECIDED TO SHOW UP.

“I bit my tongue because we are not our husband’s keepers.” DUDE. Susan launches into the story of how she lost her husband and she is NAILING it.

“I blamed myself. I had an opinion and I didn’t voice it.” This is BEAUTIFUL.

“No, we are not our husband’s keepers, but maybe we should be America’s. Next question.” And Susan just won this round.

“America HATES me.” Mellie’s loss sends her into a spiral of self-pity because she KNOWS she’s brilliant and doesn’t understand why she’s not connecting with the general public.

SO MANY MELLIVIA FEELINGS. ALL I HAVE WANTED FOR THREE SEASONS IS FOR THEM TO TEAM UP AND IT IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

“Mellie, I will get you the Oval. Come hell or high water.” Like father, like daughter.

“BECAUSE HE’S NOT HER HUSBAND.” GASP. Susan just won the debate based on the story about her husband and he is NOT her husband???

“Susan Ross is a liar. And we’re going to find out why and we’re going to take her down.” SUSAN I TRUSTED YOU.

“America doesn’t care about you winning the debate. You won David.” This makes me sad because it’s true.

“What’s HE doing here?” I am LIVING for how much she hates him. Bless.

“You need to sell this love story.” Much like Hazza, Susan looks like she’d rather die than touch Taylor David.

“I want her to be President, I owe her that.” Honestly, it’s the least you can do.

“You need Quinn. You need Huck. But you don’t need me?” Can we get a good story for Marcus in season six?

“I need YOU to do your job.” And his job is to babysit Mellie while she makes an appearance on Kimmel. CROSS PROMOTION FTW.

Not only was Susan never married to John, her daughter is not his either. 

“You’re holding out on me.” Liv and Alex meet to follow-up on their respective dirt.

“You gave me a RUMOR.” Oh, come on, Alex. Do your homework. Rumors usually have truth to them.

Oh I kind of want Alex and Olivia to do it?

Susan’s baby daddy is in PRISON. 

“Your hand is dangerously close to the flame. Watch out kid.” Cyrus tries to warn Alex against going after Edison based on a rumor, but Alex won’t be deterred.

THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE MELLIE DO MEAN TWEETS.

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“How do the big dogs sleep?” – Scandal Gif-Cap – I See You

Scandal Season 5, Episode 14
“I See You”

Posted by Kim

This week on Scandal, an unexpected figure from seasons past returns to stir up some shit, Mellie and Susan are sexually harassed by said figure, Liv and Huck do some spying, and Abby makes a power move. It’s all so dirty and twisted, I immediately needed to shower aka this was a fantastic episode. TO THE GIFS.

We open with an awkward family dinner with Jake, Vanessa, Rowan, and Olivia. Olivia killing it with the fake laughter.

Meanwhile, Quinn and Charlie break into Vanessa’s apartment to install cameras. 

“Superstitious AND sentimental.” Liv is DYING.

“Jake…he just thinks the world of you.” DOES HE VANESSA? I mean I certainly hope so considering that bedroom scene last week.

“The sister I never had.” AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Okay, this meeting with Vanessa was clearly staged, right? It’s too much of a meet cute to be real, even on TV.

“I see you, Vanessa Moss.” BUT WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Sally is calling Frankie a two face for deciding to run for President after he swore not to. 

“Cyrus running Vargas? Who put that idea in your head?” Cy’s assistant tries to play innocent but fails.

“You think the Press Secretary has time to bring coffee?” Abby meets with Quinn and neither of them have coffee, which is terrible.

Abby asks Quinn to look into Cyrus for her. 

“She’s not stalking, she’s focusing.” Liv has been glued to the surveillance cameras since they’ve been installed like she’s binge watching the latest season of Daredevil.

“Keep pretend running OPA, Quinn.” Abby may as well have patted her head. BUT QUINN REALLY IS RUNNING OPA THOUGH.

Huck and Marcus bond as they watch Javi’s soccer game. Welp. Their spying reveals that Kim has a new boyfriend.

“Please tell me you’re not taking that meeting.” Liv warns Mellie against a meeting with SOMEONE.

“I don’t think he’s the devil, I KNOW he’s the devil.” Okay, whoever this is, it’s NOT a good thing.

HOLLIS DOYLE. SEASON TWO REALNESS. And yes, he IS the devil.

Huck asks Charlie if he recognizes Kim’s new boyfriend. They decide he is this guy named Six Toes and he’s actually using Kim and Javi to get to Huck.

“If  he finds you, he’s not gonna get even by just cutting off your toes.” So the only answer is for Huck to get to him first. I’m sure this will end great.

“I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR HIPS.” Mellie’s FACE when Hollis starts being a lecherous pig though.

“You’re leaner and meaner.” I NEED A SHOWER.

“You gonna put out for me, Mellie Grant?” I need to go through a purification ritual after this scene.

“See how far up her skirt SHE’S willing to let me go.” Hollis threatens to take his money and support to Susan by continuing to be a disgusting pig. I hate everything.

“The man’s a disease. I’m not letting him infect Susan.” That may be the one pure thing Fitz has said EVER. It was bound to happen I guess.

“You were right. Cyrus Beene is cheating on the President.” 

“I’m in bed with two different women… literally.” “And we’re done here.” Let’s have a moment of silence for David and Abby’s relationship. 

“One is horrible, wicked, cruel, possibly an actual witch. The other is a wonderful person.” David, you forgot to say that your diamond shoes are too tight.

“A presidential campaign is a marathon.” Liv is not at all freaking out about Hollis not giving Mellie any support.

So Jake and Vanessa are getting it on in her hallway and then JAKE LOOKS RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA STARING INTO OLIVIA’S SOUL. 

“Show’s over.” Jake shows up at Liv’s apartment bearing all the cameras.

“This is pathetic. Low.” 

“I want to know why you chose her.” 

“You walked away from him over and over, time after time, because you knew in your gut, you knew if you said yes, he’d own you, he’d consume you, he’d be no different than your father, but over time, Fitz manipulated you. He made you feel like… Like you owed him. It’s what he does best. You knew that more than anyone, and you still fell for it.” Dropping truth bombs ERRYWHERE.

“Man, that has got to turn your world upside down, to go from being the smartest person in the room to the biggest fool… to realize you’re just another textbook example of daddy issues, played out on a national stage.” Where is the lie though?

“Your girlfriends aren’t girlfriends. They’re marks. Nothing you do is real.”

“Vanessa likes Hugh Grant movies, she reads Vogue and takes multivitamins. But, Liv, that is precisely what I want.”

“Did you pretend that you were her? Did you get off when she got off?”

“I thought his fifteen minutes were up.” Cyrus plays dumb when Abby questions him about the Vargas campaign.

“What other governor have you spoken to 27 times over the past 2 weeks?” ABBY DID HER HOMEWORK THOUGH.

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“Everyone loves a hero.” – Scandal Gif-Cap – Wild Card

Scandal Season 5, Episode 12
“Wild Card”

Posted by Kim

Greetings, Gladiators! Fitz is single and ready to mingle (ew) and making Abby’s beautiful ginger hair go gray (a crime worthy of impeachment).  Everybody is making moves as we hurtle towards the election (surely that is season 6, right?). Mellie is MIA for ANOTHER episode. Liv is back to believing that her Dad is NOT the devil. Same old shit but a different day, amirite? To the gifs!

We open with Fitz and Lillian making out in the back of a limo, his hand all the way up her skirt because Fitz is that classy. 

Abby interrupts them by getting into the limo but Fitz doesn’t remove his hand from Lillian’s skirt. 

“I’m not mad. It’s fine. It’s kind of sexy.” Honestly, Monica Reyes. First you are working with CSM and NOW THIS. What happened to you.

Abby’s bitch face regarding these two gives me life. 

“Are we at war? Did California fall into the ocean?” This man is running the country, remember.

“You’re wild carding, sir. Please tell me you know what that means.” I love that there is lingo for Fitz chasing tail.

“I need to put in a request to get laid? That’s what you’re telling me?”

“Get as far away from me as you possibly can and never bring this up again.” AGAIN LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD.

I die for Olivia’s yellow coat. She has upped her fashion game SO HARD since dumping Fitz’s ass.

“You saw your chance and you pounced.” Clearly Rowan is ALSO on Team Liv + Mellie. He’s so proud that Liv has finally made a power move.

“Jake isn’t built like us. He’s always up for the fight but he isn’t built for it.” I mean all of his actions up till now say the very opposite but okay Rowan.

“I’m not talking about the warrior. I’m talking about the man.” Soooooooo somewhere between all the hate sex with Olivia and taking over the NSA, Jake has found time to meet someone. OKAY.

“I’m sorry. I’ve overstepped again. I just want what’s best for both my kids.” Your kids that are also boning. This just crossed into creepyville.

Susan announces her candidacy whilst David and Lizzy-Bear watch in bed. Susan nails it, natch. God, these people are going to eat her alive. She’s too good, too pure.

Susan calls David to get his reassurance that she was awesome. Lizzy-Bear loves it. “Tell her she was great. Tell her now!”

“I wish I could have been there.” THEN WHY WEREN’T YOU, DAVID? STOP THINKING WITH YOUR WEINER.

“I have the house all to myself.” Susan invites David over for dinner to celebrate. There’s a 100% chance sex is on the table.

“You’re one creepy bastard, you know that?” Huck makes it clear he doesn’t approve of Liv and Jake’s shag sessions. Jake gives no fucks.

“Otherwise, you’re just sleeping with the enemy. The Liv I know would never do that.” Huck drops some truth bombs about the Jake and Rowan situation and the thing is…He’s RIGHT. When has Rowan ever NOT been scheming? WAKE UP, LIV.

“When you snap back to reality and realize what’s going on, you know where to find me.” 

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“Welcome home, son.” – Scandal Gif-Cap “Baby It’s Cold Outside”

Scandal Season 5, Episode 9
“Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
Posted by Kim

This is it, Gladiators.  Our Winter Finale.  Normally, Scandal likes to close out its half-seasons with a massive cliffhanger. Not so with “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”.  This put a DELIGHTFUL period on things.  Sure, it probably won’t last long, but let me revel in this for a while.  Because it’s glorious.  TO THE GIFS.

Olivia doing First Lady Christmasy things looking like she’s dying on the inside. 

Olivia stares miserably at her wardrobe, which suddenly has a whole lot of red, as she gets ready to go to another mindless function. 

Her party dress is aces though. 

“I got punch!” Susan and David still banter and she still has a crush on him and she’s still gonna get her heart crushed, isn’t she?

“I had no idea how many holiday parties were involved.” But IS there a Yankee Swap?

Olivia is asked to solve a problem at a party.  She gets excited then her face falls because the PROBLEM is getting a cookie recipe.

MELLIE I MISSED YOU. 

Mellie reads the fine print of a bill and realizes that funding for Planned Parenthood was made “discretionary” which means they could take it away at any moment.  In other words, no fucking way.

“If there’s no guarantee, then I can’t vote for it.” #MellieForPresident2016

“This deal will pass just fine without you, Mellie.” 

“I know the schedule. You don’t need to tell me, I have a brain.” Liv enjoyed this much more when she was President instead of First Lady.

Marcus brings in Christmas Decorations because OPA needs some holiday flair. 

“We don’t decorate. We work.” Okay, Grinch Quinn. Be that way.

“Sorry I didn’t get to wrap it but it was hard to do with your hands down my pants.” 

“David, there’s no need for presents.” LizzieBear is only interested in the D.

“I have the floor.” Mellie, my queen, decides she’s going to speak up for Women’s Rights.

“How about we don’t give that little ladies organization the full amount they’re asking for?” This is everything.

“As much as I would love to get home for the holidays, I refuse to do it at the expense of women’s health.” 

MELLIE IS FILIBUSTERING.

Mellie pulls out a giant binder and starts naming off all the programs that are deemed more essential than funding to Planned Parenthood. 

“You got the underground railroad without freedom fries? Who does that?”  Rowan finds Huck’s lunch order offensive. So would I. French Fries are my reason for living.

“I may be the bad guy but the worse guys are out there.” I mean clearly he means Satan, cause you can’t get much worse than Rowan Pope.

“You are no one’s father and I am not your son!” Huck has no time for this “son” nonsense.

Mellie has to talk for 16 hours to run out the clock on the Senate Session.  No breaks. Nothing.

“The rules state you can’t bring food onto the floor. They say NOTHING about food that is already here.” That’s my Mellie, finding a loop-hole.  Also, God bless protein bars.

Liv watches Mellie go, with a little smile on her face. 

Jake spies on Russell (remember him?), who is talking to some other spy dude about how Rowan is missing. 

“I have so many sons.” So do I, Rowan, but mine are better than yours.

“There is no gratitude in parenting. I don’t know why we do it.” Me either, which is why I don’t.

“YES THERE YOU ARE! THE SON I KNOW!” Dude, Huck is the last person I would taunt about his family tragedy. He will end you.  Which is exactly what Rowan wants.

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“This is what power looks like.” – Scandal Gif-Cap

Scandal Season 5, Episode 7
Even the Devil Deserves a Second Chance”
Posted by Kim

Fitz has avoided impeachment.  Cyrus is back in place as Chief of Staff.  Mellie is on a spa vacation (WHERE WAS SHE THIS WEEK?).  Olivia has essentially moved into the White House.  Rowan Pope is a free man.  Jake is out for blood.  LizzyBear is scrambling for power.  And David Rosen is just exasperated with all of these idiots.  So basically business as usual…right?  To the gifs!

“How proud and humbled I am to be your President and to say how sorry I am.” Are you though? ARE YOU SORRY, FITZ?

Fitz apologizes to parents for the uncomfortable questions they had to answer. GROSS.  Apologize to ME now.

“Let’s be honest this was a victory for the White House. This is not a day to gloat.” Cut to Fitz gloating, natch. Also this is the first thing that came up when I image searched “gloating”, so.

“To Congress, may their heads depart from their asses…”

“How did you do it? How the hell did you get the information to end the impeachment?”  Abby knows EVERYTHING and she knows that Liv pulled some shit.

“I don’t want to lie to you. Don’t make me.” At LEAST Liv is being honest about that.

“You get to date the most eligible bachelor in the country.” GAG ME.

“I could give you a ride in my motorcade.” Susan has a crush on David Rosen, guys.

“Mr. President we have an emergency.” “Well, that was fast.” Time for Fitz to find out that Rowan is MIA.

Liv acts like she doesn’t know ANYTHING. 

Liv makes eye contact with Abby and Abby nods.  TELEPATHY.

Liv comes home and her spidey senses tell her someone is sitting in her apartment in the dark.  

“I said SIT DOWN.” SO FORCEFUL. Jake is terrifying and I really shouldn’t be turned on by this but here we are.

“You…you preach about wearing some dumb white hat.” Jake is so done with Liv’s shit we need a new word for it.

“Are you BLIND, Olivia? Do you refuse to see or do you really not know what you are?” 

“My wife. She’s dead. He killed her. Actually, it was you.”

“Really, Olivia? You didn’t think about the body count?”

“How does someone as brilliant and accomplished as you not know what you are?”

“You are Rowan’s greatest achievement. Power hungry, entitled, dangerous. And the beauty of it is you don’t even know it.” This is SO SCATHING and I love it.

“You’re grieving and I’m so sorry for that but I want you to go.”

JAKE KISSES HER LIKE THE GODFATHER.

“We need a plan to reset your image.” First up is bestowing the Medal of Freedom on Feminist Author Frank Holland.  Cause he needs to get women back on his side.

“Hi Liv.” “Hi Cyrus.” Cyrus is super suspicious of Olivia always being around and Liv is DARING him to call her out on it.  Yes, I got that from them saying hi to each other.

“He’s going to bring back B613.” Huck is understandably freaked out by the fact that Rowan is out and about.

“OPA is out of the spy business. Is that clear?” I give this whole “We aren’t spies” thing 2 episodes.

“I saw you on TV and I figured since you know the President you could talk to him.” Liv’s new client is a young woman named Hannah Taylor, who needs OPA to handle her rape case.

“We can’t just go straight to the President, that’s not how this works.” 

“The man who raped me is Frank Holland.”  WELP.

“His dedication to feminism and freedom is truly American.” Oh no.

Did I mention that Abby, who is herself a victim of domestic violence, totally fangirled over Frank? I feel ill.

“Where is she going?” “To tell the President he may have just hung a medal on a rapist.”

“I hate the new normal.” SAME, QUINN.

Abby meets up with LizzyBear to catch up.  Their coat game is strong.

“I don’t have to explain to you how high Sally Langston’s ratings are.” Lizzy has been offered a tell all interview from Sally.  She tries to blackmail Abby in exchange for a job.

“Everything in this town runs on power. I’ve got to get mine from somewhere.” 

“He’s a person, it’s personal.” Aaaaaaaaare we calling Fitz a person though?

“I need an answer in 48 hours or else I’ll become a Lover of Liberty.” 

Fitz calls in Jake to track down Rowan.  Liv: “Oh.”

“That’s a shame.” “It is.” Jake plays along with Liv’s innocent act.

“Maybe Jake and I should talk in private first.” “Whatever you say about my father you say in front of me.” Subtext: I need to know exactly what’s going on so I can maintain my web of lies.

“When I do, I’m going to look him in the eye and put a bullet in his head.”

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