“I like the way Sammy sings’” – Supernatural Recap – Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell

Source: amal-albuloshia

Supernatural Season 12, Episode 15
“Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell”
Posted by Dawn and Erica

Oh, Davy Perez, you never let us down. Truth, lies, and some serious demonic mojo were the hallmarks of “Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell,” and it was a terrific ride from start to finish. Also, there was no Mary, which was a really nice break, and family drama took a backseat to moving the season’s plot along. Fire up the Impala and let’s go.

Erica: Do you know, it says something about the fact that I really enjoyed this episode, and didn’t even realize that Mary wasn’t in it? Almost as if her presence really doesn’t matter. Yes, I went there.

Before we get to the meat of the recap, we have to give a shout-out to that scene. That short and glorious scene that everyone went nuts over. Lucille. For those of you living under a rock, Lucille is the barbed-wire-wrapped bat that Jeffrey Dean Morgan, once our own John Winchester, now wields with psychopathic glee as Negan on The Walking Dead.

Source: canonspngifs

So well played. So perfect. Davy Perez, we love you forever.

You might notice the song lyric we used for this recap. It’s from BB King’s “Lucille,” so yeah, we did that, but also, it works. Because Sam Winchester gets an award for finally learning a lesson every single Winchester has failed repeatedly – Sammy told his brother the truth. Can you even? We could not even. Sam came clean about all the recent cases coming not from the program he somehow designed and put into his phone, but actually from the British Men of Letters.

Source: postmodernmulticoloredcloak

Dean’s reaction to this was…underwhelming, to be honest, and we’re hoping it’s because big brother is playing a few cards close to the vest. We know he doesn’t trust the BMoL. We are pretty sure he doesn’t trust his mother. And he has to know that his brother has a bad habit of making deals with the bad guys for what Sam thinks is the greater good. (A phrase that makes all of us shrink in horror every time it is uttered.) So please, writers, let us be right about that. That reaction was very not-Dean.

What was very Dean, what was very Winchester brothers and the reason we love this show as much as we do, was the easy banter between the two of them. It was very monster-of-the-week, very funny, and downright adorable. Like when Sam was pointing how exactly how covered in monster bits Dean was:

Source: plaiding

Or their conversation outside Gwen’s (the “girl of the week”) door, and Dean’s little awesome comments about what they could say to her:

Source: canonspngifs

Dean warning Sam about being careful with Baby and Sam being absolutely over it.

Source: amal-albuloshia

It was adorable. It was perfect. It was them. We missed it. We love when we have that back.

Continue Reading

“The Devil Went Down to DC; he was lookin’ for a soul to steal” – Supernatural Recap – LOTUS

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

Supernatural Season 12, Episode 8
“LOTUS”
Posted by Dawn and Jaymee

Amidst questions of “Too soon?”, SPN writers took a ‘haters gonna hate’ attitude and went right for the jugular with Lucifer’s story arch for the mid-season finale. Social commentary? Political intrigue? Sex, love and threats of nuclear warfare? We’ve got it all, as you will see, since Lucifer has found his vessel, the one and only P.O.T.U.S; President of the United States. GET IT! We did LOTUS, P.O.T.U.S, yeah we see what you did there. (And, TBH, no one was really questioning Lucifer as the Commander in Chief, in fact quite a lot of Twitter thought it would be a vast improvement, but we digress.)

The mid-season finale for S12 was overall very good, Hell, some points were down right amazing, But there were a few issues, which didn’t surprise the fandom because this ep was written by Bucklemming, the two-person writing team of Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming who have consistently made the worst writing decisions ever on this show. If you tell an SPN fan that Bucklemming are writing, we expect errors, things we will hate, and general groans of “That trick never works.” If you are new to the fandom but also someone who has binged like a MoFo in order to be up to date, let us give you a few examples of fucking Bucklemming:

  • The vengeful, racist truck? –> Bucklemming
  • Killing Kevin? –> Bucklemming
  • Killing Charlie OFFSCREEN FFS?? –> Bucklemming
  • Cas getting “honey-trapped” and then killed (and then saved but that’s not the point)? –> Bucklemming
  • That “yeah, I get it; he’s a fan” bullshit from S9E21? –> Bucklemming

We could go on, but we won’t. Except we will, for just this little bit more.

JAY: YO! I fucking hate those guys, Chuck damn it. They took both Charlie and Kevin! Not cool bros; not cool at all. You know what? That’s it, I’m bringing back those chain letter emails that make you forward them to 10 of your friends or else you get bad luck and I’m going to make it my mission to fill their Bucklemming inboxes! Hell, I’ll even send them snail mail. Like when your Grandma finds a cute cat picture and prints it out and mails it to you, BUT WITH BAD LUCK, yeah, that’s me bitches. I’m gonna rain some serious Hoodoo down on these jokers! BRB, I gotta go buy some stamps.

DAWN: It’s like they don’t watch their own show. They are the reason SPN needs to hire a fandom/mythos consultant. They don’t know the mythos, or else they do and they just don’t care because they do what they want. I want to meet them, sit them down, and explain how character arcs work, also with maybe a lecture on the hero’s journey, how mythology works, and how to do their damn job. As a professional writer and editor, they are a personal affront to me, and I want to kick them in the shins. Hard.

JAY: I will lend you my combat boots. They are designed for shin kicking.

We said last week that we got the band back together, but this time we really mean it because yas, queen, Rowena and her flawless eyeshadow joined the party this week. Every single scene with Rowena and Crowley was PERFECTION, and yes, we are shocked to say that given the writers. But credit where credit is due, though we are giving most of the credit to Mark Sheppard–who both Dawn and Jaymee agree is absolute perfection, especially when paired with Ruth Connell. Their chemistry is getting better and better, every time we are blessed with their presence on the screen; in their precious, adorable, dysfunctional way, we squeal with delight.

Crowley’s little self-satisfied smirk at the end. We ship it. Familyship is also a ship, shut up. Source: adoringjensen.tumblr.com

But anyway, back to Lucifer. He took a brief body-hopping tour of the rich and the powerful, including a bishop who makes crosses turn upside down when he walks past them, because it’s not like the devil is supposed to be subtle or anything. Oh and also, Bucklemming, you morons, Catholic bishops don’t wear red. CARDINALS wear red. Get it? Cardinals? Red? Research. It’s a thing.

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

DAWN: Seriously, I want to punch them.

JAY: They write scripts like bad FanFictions. No research, no background, just whatever I say goes, goes. WELL NO, that’s not how this works. . .you know what, just whatever.

So Lucifer finally lands where he wants to be — in the body of the President of the United States, who is also a widower and a Catholic. Now, we were not privy to the entire internal convo between President Jeff and Luci, so we have no idea how he talked a Catholic President into giving control to the First of the Fallen. Because that’s not important plot point or anything, right? From what we could gather, they’re going to be partners and better humanity or something like that; it really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense that anyone devout would just be like, “Sure, Satan, have my meat suit,” but whatever. We found we had to do that a few times this episode. Just “whatever,” and enjoy the ride. So, yeah, Lucifer is president and also he was a virgin. No, seriously. This was a way better plot point, Virgin Lucifer, because why not.

source: onthelandofmydreams.tumblr.com

Yeah. We know.

Oh and because this show doesn’t have ENOUGH Daddy issues, he’s also going to be a father. Of a Nephilim. Great. Again, we know. Angel Radio loses its shit. Castiel almost collapses from the pressure of all the Angels everywhere freaking out all at once; because apparently Lucifer’s Nephilim isn’t just a regular nephilim, no, it’s like a super-powered, seriously dangerous Nephilim.

source: bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale.tumblr.com

So, the plan, according to Dean, is “impeach LOTUS, find Rosemary’s baby.” Excellent summation, Dean. The brothers and Cas head out to intercept Lucifer but they get pulled over by the Secret Service because LOTUS (yes, this is happening) told his men that the boys are cult members, planning to assassinate him. But luckily, the cavalry arrives. No, not Crowley and Rowena. It’s, uh, “Arthur Ketch, British Men of Letters,” who thinks he can boss Castiel around like he is some sort of tool to be kept between the shotguns and the grenade launchers. Again, yeah, we know.

source: bagginshield.tumblr.com

Ketch is smug bastard and only involved because sneaky Sam called him. Kinda. He called and then hung up, but that was enough for the British Men of Letters to send in reinforcement. Honestly, why Sam felt he had to call the B.M.O.L., we truly don’t know. And as we’ve said in the past, hiding things from your brother always works so well, doesn’t it, Sam? #NOT. Anyway, he did it and it’s done and now Ketch is here. Team Free Will is like, “Uh, no.” More so when the smug bastard calls Cas, “Halo.”

You tell ’em, Cas. source: disneyandthefamilybusiness.tumblr.com

DAWN: Shin kicks for everyone.

JAY: I think Mr. Ketch is growing on me. At least he’s getting Cas to stand up for himself again, and Dean was maybe a little turned on over that grenade launcher. I know I was.

DAWN: He’s a smug douchecanoe and I hope he steps on Legos.

Continue reading

“We’re getting the band back together.” – Supernatural Recap – Rock Never Dies

source: bringmepieassbutt.tumblr.com

source: bringmepieassbutt.tumblr.com

Supernatural Season 12, Episode 7
“Rock Never Dies”
Posted by Dawn and Jaymee

Thank Chuck for Robert Berens. The Season 12 head writer never fails to deliver. We have made our love for him clear already, and he is also our favorite SPN writer to flatter on Twitter, because he is doing a hell of a job at the helm. This episode was a little disjointed in places, yes, but it still worked, and it seemed to progress the primary plot line, we think…? Because at this point it’s still not really clear exactly where our main plot is. Stopping Lucifer? Sending him back to the cage? Working on his Daddy issues again? We could speculate all day. The point is, we’re not sure.

DAWN: I am of the opinion that it might have been done that way on purpose, that it was supposed to quick and jarring and a little all over the place in order to set and maintain the tone of chaos that this Lucifer is bringing. Because this Devil DGAF, and he had the monologue to prove it.

JAY: So yeah, this was flash and bang all over the place, jumping from one scene to another, it may have been intentional, most of this ep’s POV was Lucifer, so maybe the viewers were being shown the world from his view but honestly I’m done with this Lucifer. He’s darker than anything we’ve seen on this show in a long time. Even Azazel didn’t make a lady carve his name into her chest. Granted, he did cut open Mommy’s womb and burn her on the ceiling but still, we only got that second-hand. And honestly maybe it was the guy liner, but I don’t think Azazel was ever as creepy as Vince was. Maybe that’s due to Azazel having a plan, having order and Lucifer was pure anarchy. IDK I was creeped out and I’m sorta glad we are done with Rick, who don’t get me wrong was great, but also… really fucking creepy. *shivers*

DAWN: That’s exactly why I love him. We have been missing a real, proper, evil bad guy for a long time. This Lucifer had terrific potential.

We got the band back together!. No, not Ladyheart, but Sam, Dean, Castiel and Crowley, all ready to fight the big baddie himself, Lucifer, still in the form of Vince Vincente, rock star, and a newly — if temporarily — revitalized vessel. Whom our boys have to chase to LA, much to Dean’s chagrin. This episode gave us a few fond family moments, like Dean playing not-Words-with-Friends-at-all-we-swear with Mary, who’s “not quite ready for Snapchat.” (We kinda can’t wait until she is.) Also, the scene with Sam and Dean in the car, with Sam trying everything he can to assure his brother that, no, of course he is not listening to Vince Vincente and Ladyheart! It’s totally just boring history podcasts that Dean would have no interest in whatsoever. But Dean is no fool! He remembers Season 10×17 “Inside Man.”



Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
source: themegalosaurus.tumblr.com

JAY: I really like moments like these because it’s obvious that Sam has an idea of what Dean thinks about him and he tries to play it up, reinforce the nerdy bookworm stereotype as Dean tries to enforce the meathead persona he often has. Also Sam’s not a good liar, especially to people he cares about, and it’s moments like this when he’s put on the spot and has to stumble through that make him so endearing.

DAWN: When Dean finally proves what Sam is listening to, it becomes every conversation I had with my younger sister about music in the late 80s. Dean, I have never felt closer to you.

There are our boys again, snarking at each other and acting like two siblings trapped in a car for far too many hours. Love. So much love.

Before we get into the whole reunion, we need to talk about Mark Sheppard. Hail to the King, baby. Crowley was altogether back this ep, in all his dark, snark, rightfully-arrogant glory, and oh my Chuck, have we missed him. Please, someone give Mark Sheppard some awards, please? No one chews scenery better than him, and his Crowley is just glorious. Also? “Hello boys.” There is no better greeting on this show. Dawn will hear no argument on this.

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

JAY: Sorry beautiful, I’m totally going to argue for “Hello Dean.” as the most perfect greeting in the show. So… there.

DAWN: You are a treasonous trollop.

Mad props to the special effects makeup department as well, for handling Lucifer’s first appearance after Rowena banished him to the bottom of the ocean in a decaying vessel. That makeup was so well done. You could feel the ick and the ooze.

source: castielamigos.tumblr.com

source: castielamigos.tumblr.com

Robert Berens’ writing of the opening scene went perfectly with it, as two black-robed yahoos tried to summon the devil. It was perfectly reminiscent of so many 80s horror comedies involving that very same trope. Beautifully done, guys.

Oh! And Berens made it clear, via cell phone screen, that it’s Cass, not Cas, and fandom freaked out on Twitter because they are not letting go of “Cas.” It’s kind of adorable how the writer – the HEAD WRITER, people – kind of apologized. The fan service this cast and crew gives us is wonderful, and it’s part of the reason the show and the fandom has held on for so damn long. Robert Berens, never change. Never.

JAY: He didn’t kinda apologize HE SAID HE FAILED US! #CasNotCass He knew what he did and he knew it was wrong….

DAWN: He’s the WRITER. But, yes, ok, saying he failed us was adorable.

Yes, Astroglide live tweets Supernatural. They are a treasure. source: spnapplepie

Yes, Astroglide live tweets Supernatural. They are a treasure. source: spnapplepielife.tumblr.com

DAWN: Also, Headbanger’s Ball references. Like three of them. As we said on our twitter, Berens, we missed you, Never leave us again.

Los Angeles was the main scene for this ep — “My city,” as Crowley calls it, and damn if it isn’t right because it seems accurate to us. Ladyheart’s reunion is all over social media and people are excited, and there are groupies and secret shows. Lucifer has an ulterior motive, of course, and one poor groupie finds that out the hard way. Plus the rest of Ladyheart doesn’t seem as into this as Vince himself. Gee, we wonder why.

Continue reading

“All the roads we have to walk are winding.” – Supernatural Recap – American Nightmare

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

Supernatural Season 12, Episode 4
“American Nightmare”
Posted by Dawn and Jaymee
Special Commentary by Rebecca

Remember how the main theme of SPN Season 1 was where’s dad, there’s dad, where’s dad, damnit dad? Well, so far season 12 seems to be headed straight into mommy issues territory. As you may recall, we had some Strong Opinions on Mary’s departure last week (especially from our guest writer, Reba, who is with us again this week), and those are going to pop up again this week. Strap in.

This week’s ep concentrated solely on the brothers. It was a Monster of the Week episode as well, but that ultimately tied into the aftermath of Mary’s incredibly selfish departure. We’d like to give some props to first-time SPN writer Davy Perez, who previously wrote for the critical and audience favorite American Crime. His first effort with SPN gave us great “monsters” and some truly terrific call-backs to family dynamics that gave Sam a chance to shine. We’d also like to thank Perez for being terrifically active on Twitter during our East Coast feed live tweet of the show, including responding to fans and favoriting about a dozen of our tweets. That kind of interaction has long been one of the hallmarks of this show and its fandom, and long may that continue.

Since we only have one family to deal with this time, we’ll split this recap into two sections: The Good Stuff and The Problematic Stuff. But first, a plot recap, because it’s important this time.

There was a lot of religious symbolism in the ep, which was extremely reminiscent of Stephen King’s Carrie in many ways. We opened with stigmata, for Chuck’s sake, and it was terrific to see the story hit some of the darker aspects of the Judeo-Christian religion, which is something they often shy away from.

A social worker stumbles into a church, bleeding from stigmata wounds and being assailed by an invisible whip. She dies right in front of a priest, who talks to the papers – a clarion call to the Winchesters. We get a glorious return of the boys in clerical garb, thereby feeding priest fetishists for another few seasons. When asked what sort of priests they are, Dean’s intonation “The old fashioned kind,” is the frosting on that very yummy cake (the fandom no doubt responded THE HOT KIND, but we digress).

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

Mmmmmm. Sacrilegious. source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

DAWN: As a former Catholic schoolgirl, I would like to personally thank Davy Perez for those outfits. Forgive me, Father, for I am about to sin. And when they called themselves Fathers Pacino and Penn, I laughed hysterically, because We’re No Angels is one of my favorite 80s movies of all time.

JAY: I was immediately thrilled with the opening of this ep. From the camera angles to the not overdone opening stigmata, it was almost elegant in its horror. The intro for our boys, the camera’s focus on the Bible to set the scene for the entire episode, all of it was well done.

Before long, a grocery delivery boy dies in the same way, so Priest!Winchesters revert to FBI!Winchesters. We mourn the loss of clerical collars, but we gain a new detail: the victims’ brains were turned to mush by whatever killed them.

Dean first blames witchcraft and suspects Beth Roberts, a Wiccan who got the first victim’s job; Sam thinks they should look at the Petersons, an ultra-religious family whose daughter, Magda, died from a curable illness and resulted in them being issued a social worker for their remaining child. Cue outfit change #3, which almost caused Twitter to combust: Winchester Sweaters.

source: frozen-delight.tumblr.com

source: frozen-delight.tumblr.com

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

The Peterson family is welcoming to their new social workers, if understandably cautious, and they relay their story of giving up a storybook life of comfort and privilege that hid issues from mild (no work/life balance for dad) to severe (drug addiction for mom), as well as what sounds like normal teenage rebellion by the kids. Instead, they withdrew from the world to live a life of privilege and apparent contentment on a huge farm. Their deep faith healed the family, but ultimately resulted in Magda’s death, which Momma Peterson puts down to God’s will. Sam is having none of that, which leads to him revealing more about his current state of belief than perhaps he intended.

Sam concludes the deaths are probably due to a vengeful ghost. Dean blames Beth. The boys argue and split up, back to the comfortable dysfunction that defines their core relationship. It’s interesting to note that Beth, in an earlier scene where she was talking about her job as a social worker, had a great line that rather sums that dysfunction up.

source: subcas.tumblr.com

source: subcas.tumblr.com

Dean heads off to shoot Beth (more on why this is so wrong later) and is surprised to find out that she didn’t want the promotion, hates having to do the job, and is still broken up by her mentor’s death. Meanwhile, Sam sneaks around the Peterson farm and is surprised to hear son and father talking about Magda in the present tense. Sam is knocked out, tied up (of course), and comes face to face with the very much alive Magda, a naive teen who has been convinced by her whack job mother that she is evil incarnate, specifically The Devil (delusions of grandeur much?), when really she’s just telepathic and telekinetic.




source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

REBA: Sam wisely does not tell Magda that he’s personally acquainted with the devil and she’s not it, but I sort of wish he had, especially as we got his take on God earlier. Kudos to Perez for making us wonder if Lucifer made it out of the ocean that fast.

JAY: Perez plays in one of my true fears here. Personally, I find nothing more horrifying than what people are capable of doing to one another. It’s clear that the real monsters in this episode are people, just people, and their warped twisted views. I also really enjoy that we are giving Sam some time to really talk about his time with the devil to someone other than Dean. Someone who he can help through his experiences instead of just viewing then as a dark spot.

Since Sam was on the phone with his brother when he got captured, Margaret White Momma Peterson knows Dean is on his way and therefore the family needs to go. But not, like, in the car. No, she spikes their food with rat poison. Dad dies and Magda appears to beg her to stop the killing. Crazy mom tries to stab her (Shades of Carrie!), but the son gets in the way. Cops arrive. Mom is arrested and the Winchesters are assured that Magda will be going to live with an aunt (we suggest the ones from Practical Magic). Dean ends up with Beth’s “personal number,” prompting Sam to note that Dean was going to shoot her, which his brother says is strange but also hot.

REBA: Seriously? This is not good at all. Don’t equate threatening a woman’s life with sexy times again, please. The idea that the guy you lust after might kill you is the opposite of titillating.

DAWN: Yes, there will be some words on SPN’s continued problems with writing women. I am one more ep from sending them my resume along with a strongly worded letter.

JAY: Just to play Devil’s advocate here, Beth didn’t know Dean was going to shoot her, so we can’t fault her for giving him her number. On the other hand, from a meta standpoint, it was definitely not cool and I agree with both Dawn and Reba.

REBA: Beth is in no way responsible for Dean’s actions or reactions, and I think it’s safe to say if she did know, she’d have run away screaming, not given him her number. She seemed very grounded and decent.

Alas, poor Magda does not make it to her destination, as she is executed by the mysterious Mr. Ketch, who checks in with the British Men of Letters to report that he finished the job the Winchesters wouldn’t. Special thanks to our Twitter friend @poptivist, who was kind enough to gif it and give us permission to reuse it via giphy but straight from her twitter account:

source: @poptivist

Oddly, Winchester family stuff was very secondary this ep, and it’s easy to sum up: they haven’t heard from mom; Dean is incredibly upset by this; Sam is weirdly not and tries to talk his brother out of being upset about this; Dean texts mom (heartbreakingly asking her if he should call her Mom or Mary); Mary fails to text back until the end of the episode; Dean doesn’t tell Sam about the text.  And now, we react.

The Good Stuff

DAWN: As a long, long, LONG time Stephen King fan, the clear (at least in my opinion, since I couldn’t get Perez to confirm it) references to Carrie in this ep were particularly dear to my heart. Of course, some of that is also part of what I found problematic about this episode, but we will get to that later.

REBA: I am consistently impressed with the ability of the leads to convey emotions through body language. And a good thing, too, since Dean isn’t so great at talking about his issues. And he has so many issues they’re practically subscriptions. The twitchiness of both Winchesters, and their shared look when asked about whether or not they knew God, conveyed almost as much as the dialogue. Making the monsters human played into both the family dynamic storylines and echoed back to Dean’s proclamation in S4 EP 15 “The Benders” that he gets monsters, but humans are messed up.

Continue reading

“The Wind Cries Mary” – Supernatural Recap – The Foundry

Source: subcas

Source: subcas

Supernatural Season 12, Episode 3
“The Foundry”
Posted by Dawn and Jaymee
Special guest comments by Rebecca Kovar

Welcome to the roller coaster. Episode 3 brought us up and down so many times that we probably should have taken some dramamine before watching. We have a new format this week as well, so expect less of a scene-by-scene and more of a reaction to the three plots: The Family Winchester, The Laurangel and Hardemon Show, and Rowena is Our Queen (long may she reign). And also, we’ve had a bit of a standoff this ep, so Dawn will be repping the side of I loved it, while Jay will be repping are you effing kidding me. And introducing Rebecca Kovar, our guest “referee” for this recap. So let’s get going. There will be ranting, and there will be spoilers almost instantly, so if you’ve not yet seen the ep, do head on over to cwtv.com and watch before you read.

Jay: As my heart is made of a solid block of ice, it’s fitting for me to go first. I was heavily disappointed in this episode and in particular the turn of events that left my counterpart Dawn achingly sad. After so much hope for our boys finally having some sort of semblance of a responsible parent, we are again cut up and left in bloody ribbons by Mary Winchester. I get it, you know, I get that she doesn’t know the John our boys do, that she cannot even FATHOM what he put them through, emotionally, mentally, physically, all the abuse they suffered; I get that she doesn’t understand the depths they need her to be the parent they never had, I get that! But honestly, I’m pissed. Not an explosive font of Mount Vesuvius pissed, but a cold, creeping, dread sort of pissed. I didn’t cry; I didn’t even blink (ok, I may have internally sighed). I was left aching and hollow and so very, very cold. I guess it all boils down to the fact that I truly believe that any parent, given the chance Mary has been given, would jump at the opportunity to get to know and love their children again, no matter what age they are. She hasn’t even tried. Spending her time reading Johns journal and one measly hunt, come on Mary! So to me this hunt was absolutely fitting for how the episode left me, ice frosted up the sides of my still beating heart, punching chilled blue blood through my veins leaving me disinterested and silent. Much like Dean when another Winchester turned their backs on him.

Dawn: Overall, I loved the ep. But I need to make it clear that I am very, very not ok with how it ended. If I stretch, and far, I can kinda understand Mary’s confusion and distress. As Stephen King once said and as SPN has suggested on more than one occasion, “Sometimes dead is better,” but I am not buying that as the case here. And let’s add a touch of logic as well. Yes, Mary, this is a terribly confusing world you’ve found yourself in; hell, the technological advances alone would leave any past time traveler’s head spinning. And I also get that you miss your husband (probably because you have no idea what a son of a bitch he turned into after you died, but I expect we will get to that at some point) and that while these are your kids, they are not your kids. You left children. You found men. That’s a kick to the chest, no doubt. But how in the hell could it be easier for you to learn, to assimilate, to at least start on the road to okay BY YOURSELF? You barely know how phones work and you don’t have one of your own. You have almost no knowledge base. So I am ready to take bets now on how long it takes for Rowena, Crowley, more Men of Letters, or the Morning Star himself to find Mary and snatch her up as bait. And we all know our boys will take that bait.

Reba: After an incredible start to the season, I was disappointed this episode was not as tight and smooth as the previous two. I did like the parallels between mothers going with their instincts and revealing their power while purposely flouting the wishes of the men. Agency, mad skills, and a bit of a mean streak were nice things to see in female characters. And then. And then they took both of those amazingly strong women off the chessboard. Sure, I can understand the reasons in both cases. I get that they are in situations that they didn’t choose which are uncomfortable on a lot of levels and involve dealing with parts of their lives they thought/hoped were over for good. As individuals, I am behind these women wanting to nope the hell out to do whatever it is they think they need to restore balance and calm and get to where they want to be. HOWEVER, because they insisted on these scenes being back to back, instead of making a strong point, it stole the power of the moments when they chose themselves over everyone else and/or the fate of the world. (More on what Mary’s decision says about her later.)

In general for this episode, the “hunt” was typical of something from mid-Season 2, where we were still — as a show, as a fandom, as actors, and writers — finding our sea legs. Remember, the show was originally envisioned as two brothers experiencing The X-Files-ish monster of the week adventures, with the family plot very secondary, and Season 2 was where things began to change. So this opening with its trope camera angles and shaky close-ups just felt typical, which isn’t something we ever expect from SPN, and very two-four-eight giant steps back from episode 2 and its all-consuming, emotion-infused scenes. SPN is always good at cutting from one storyline to another in an abrupt and unexpectedly dramatic fashion, and ep 2 did it in a way that all of our emotions revolted, rioted, and quivered throughout. Ep 3 didn’t quite manage as well.

Jay: Needless to say I had high expectations for episode three and I was left feeling
wanting, empty, and unsatisfied. The only saving graces for me were the beautiful moments of Crowley/Cas, Rowena’s sass, and Dean/Sam/Cas zen.

Dawn: I found some of the plot cuts to be a bit jolting, and not in a good way. Again, I still loved the ep overall, but the normal SPN cuts of drama, humor, drama, humor, DRAMA were really uneven in places, and it was hard to make those jumps as a viewer. But when they worked, goddamn, they worked.

Reba: The repeated focusing on the doll was not effective. We’ve seen scarier dolls—rooms full of them—and it didn’t feel like a real threat or even like it was connected to the actual mystery. The monster of the week plot was not really fleshed out. There was no explanation of how the ultimate monster did what he did, and no, “his grief was that powerful” is not an answer, when there is an entire mythology that covers this in Voodoo. Heck, similar mythology was covered in “Of Grave Importance” (S7 Ep19), so they had canon to fall back on.

The Family Winchester: Dean, Sam and Momma Mary

Swinging light; mildly creepy, broken, busted doll; and crying baby sounds aside, we were super excited to see Mary on a real hunt. We were not surprised however that she was attempting to bury all her emotions inside of activity. Gee, where have we seen that before?

Source: subcas

It’s completely hilarious that it’s Sam who needs to point out to Dean what their mother is doing, because how many seasons have we watched Sam sit in the front seat of the Impala and convince Dean he was doing the exact same thing? And though it’s very courteous of Sam that he is attempting to include himself in the family dysfunction of “hunting ‘til I drop,” what Sam really meant to say, which was painfully obvious to all us fans was probably more like “I spent 11 seasons watching you do the exact same thing and trying to convince you that hunting yourself to oblivion wasn’t going to help you, Dean, deal with your emotions and feelings. And now I don’t want to watch our mother go through the same thing.”

Alas, he did not say that. But one great thing about the hunt is that it solidified Mary as the BAMF we knew she was, and it’s clear that the boys get their hunter instincts from her. Maybe John can have some credit for the weapons skills, since he was a military man and pretty much raised them to be the perfect hunters, we don’t really like giving him credit for anything because he was an abusive, neglectful, self-absorbed son of a bitch. But let’s hold off on that (for now) and get back to the point of why Mary is seeking out a hunt, aside from the obvious family trait of ignoring emotions.

Dean has confessed to Mary that this is their life; hunting is what they do. And Mary, for all of her confusion and discomfort our modern age, is trying to connect with her boys by doing what they do best, even though it was the very last thing she wanted for them. She is trying to see if she can be part of the family business, the one she turned her back on long before her death. It’s what John wanted for the boys, right? And Mary loves John and misses him, so in her head and heart, she trusts that he did what was right for their family after she was gone. Mary is seeing if this is something she can do, be with her boys, hunting, living their life with them. Picking up where she left off, except it’s 33 years later. Dean doesn’t hesitate in enveloping his mother into their fold, excited by the prospect of them all hunting together as a family, which is all he has ever wanted. It’s not what a normal family would be doing, but no one ever said our Winchesters were anything but dysfunctional. For Dean, this is like Mom taking them to Disneyland.

Source: disneyandthefamilybusiness

Source: disneyandthefamilybusiness

But it doesn’t work. For Mary, the hunting trip only solidifies that she is obsolete, that her methods and her approach to hunting are no longer valid, needed, or important. It’s clear she sees herself as slowing her boys down, and—worse for a mother, we suspect—she can’t help seeing them as her boys, “My baby Sam. And my little boy Dean.”

Source: canonspngifs

Source: canonspngifs

Dawn: I was clutching my dog and crying, at this point. I may have even promised my dog that it was okay that he wasn’t a puppy anymore because I still loved him.

Jay: I was not. I may have lost an eye from how hard I was rolling them at her.

Reba: I was sitting, mouth agape, as I watched Mary gut her own children. I get her being freaked out about her situation. She is, in essence, spending time with two grown men she doesn’t know at all. That has to be super weird. I was willing to allow her an adjustment period, as the boys also needed to deal with what is certainly a bizarre turn of events. But then she says, in essence, “I have to go because this is too hard.”

And worse than Mary’s pain was Dean’s. Dean and his resounding silence, Dean who never shuts up even when he really should. He is just silent. Shocked. Everything he ever wanted, everything he finally got, is walking out the door. The level of hurt is bone deep; it’s in the marrow. And when Dean took a step back, away from his mother, oh my Chuck. Two episodes of the joy of that reunion and now… All episode long, we saw how Mary and Dean are so alike, from their taste in music to their feelings on bacon. Dean was the happiest we’d seen him in a long time, possibly ever, so the fall from that height, from that kind of build up, yes it fucking hurt, and not just Dean but all of us. (Massive props to both writer Robert Berens and Jensen Ackles for that.)

DEAN NOD. Source: brothersinsync

DEAN NOD. Source: brothersinsync

And Sam? Sam, who never knew a mother? Sam, who has been looking for someone to take care of him and has made terrible choices in women as a direct result of that? Sam, who finally had a chance at the most impossible thing? His full-body flinch as the door closed behind Mary was a punch in the sternum. Jared Padalecki, add that to your Emmy reel.

Source: itsokaysammy

Source: itsokaysammy

Oh, and Mary cut her hair and Twitter went insane and yes, fine, it looks fucking fantastic on her even though nothing screams I’m lost, confused and having a second life crisis like a feisty new haircut.

Source: dustydreamsanddirtyscars

Source: dustydreamsanddirtyscars

And it gave us a nice Dean and Mom moment when Mary explains that long hair is potentially unwise for a hunter and Dean responds, “I’ve been trying to tell Sam that for years.”

Jay: It’s infuriating how obvious it is that Mary really isn’t trying to get to know Sam and Dean, how she is avoiding them, false smiles and distractions. Yes, things are different but if you really want to be here with them, then do it; you rebelled against your entire family for Chuck’s sake. You gave up on hunting to have a family. Well now that family needs you. You’re supposed to be strong. I’m only seeing fear, and weakness from you now. I mean for goodness sake, Castiel isn’t even human or related OR THEIR MOTHER and he’s never given up on our boys. He’s learned and adapted and taken each of his shortcomings with a head tilt and and urge to understand. Get it together Mary!

Dawn: Her leaving was really hard to take, even more so for me because she had to intone “I miss John” and John presses all my rage buttons. I KNOW she has no idea how bad of a father he was, and I kinda fear for her when she finds out, but yeah, I am fully on the “These are YOUR KIDS, FFS” train.

Reba: Okay, but she’s been reading John’s journal. It’s obvious the kids were with him sometimes, but not always. How does that not open up a world of questions for a mother? She has to already know that John didn’t give them a stable life.

Having the hunt involve child ghosts was fitting, and Mary’s ghost possession worked as well. It’s clear after the hunt is over and Mary is freed from that possession (by a crazy father who collects children’s souls, imagine that) that she has had some kind of revelation. It’s important to remember, as she states flat out, that before coming back, she had her perfect family: “Just feels like yesterday, we were together in heaven, and now… I’m here, and John is gone, and they’re gone. And every moment I spend with you reminds me every moment I lost with them.”

Dawn: Cold, Mary. That was cold. Even I felt slapped in the face. As if these boys haven’t had enough experience with feeling unworthy and undeserving, now their mother, their whole reason for this life in the first Chuckdamned place, just essentially told them that they are not enough. I’m glad you miss John so much, Mary, because that shit was worthy of his kind of parenting.

Jay: Couldn’t agree more. You’re speaking the words of my soul! And not for nothing, can someone explain to me how is Mary’s pretend family in heaven — the one all in her head, concocted by Heavens Might to give her a perfect little slice of pie — more important, or more wonderful, than her real family? Her actual real, living, breathing, [not some concoction of heaven], loving you, Mary, until they ache, family. You’re being given a chance no one else has ever had before and this is how you’re going to waste it! Pathetic. I need a motherfucking moment of GOD DAMN ZEN, because Mary is quickly approaching John in the “A+ parenting” section of my book.

Reba: Also, she took John’s journal with her! The last and most powerful and most useful goddamned thing they ever got from their dad, one that also contained pictures of Bobby, and there wasn’t even a single raised eyebrow. Heck, she could have asked and Sam could have said that he made a copy ages ago (or that you can buy it on Amazon…but I digress) so it was cool for her to take it. SOMETHING to acknowledge how very important that journal is to the canon of this show, the characters, the fans.

Mary’s statements create a mythos problem as well, though. How can her heaven have been that way, when we know that even Jimmy Novak had to wait for Amelia to pass before they could be reunited in heaven? So how could Mary have had her husband and her boys? It doesn’t make any sense. (Big glaring plot hole — we’re looking at you, Berens.) And because she can’t have them as she remembered them, she won’t take them as they are now, as adults who want her, need her, and who are STILL her children? Instead, she runs. Big freaking Winchester-sized surprise there. #NOT

source: brothersinsync

Dawn: I cannot handle Dean’s expression or his nod. HE NODS. Because he is Dean, the one who understands everyone, the one who chokes down his emotions, still the good little soldier who does what is expected. His ultimate happiness is leaving, and he nods. As a long time Dean girl, I have never wanted to wrap my arms around him and just stroke his hair more than I do right now.

Jay: THIS, CHUCK DAMN IT, Dawn! ::incoherent wailing::

Continue Reading

“Mama, I’m coming home.” – Supernatural Recap – Mamma Mia

source: canonspngif.tumblr.com

source: canonspngif.tumblr.com

Supernatural Season 12, Episode 2
“Mamma Mia”
Posted by Dawn and Jaymee

Let’s just start off by saying, it’s really painfully unfortunate that it’s become known around the circuit (and by circuit we mean the hunting/demon/angel/whatever community) that the best way to get information is via the younger Winchester’s “little Winchester,” if you get the drift. With the opening scenes of this episode, all the SPN fandom could be heard screaming, “NO, SAMMY, NOT AGAIN,” because Sammy is rolling around in bed with Jodhpurs aka Toni Bevell, Woman of Letters.

After all Lucifer put Sam through in “The Devil in the Details” (Season 11, Ep 10), showing him that his worst move ever was turning his back on Dean for a girl and a dog, now he’s banging this disaster? For shame, Sam. For super shame, considering most of us can’t even appreciate your hot, shirtless, broad-shouldered self because really, TONI BEVELL??? This opening with the sex and the wine and the candles cannot be really happening. Our Sam wouldn’t do this AGAIN. How many times is this now, Sammy, forsaking family and friends and all common sense for a little strange? And then we had to wait to find out because it was a quick cut to Cas, who is still Dean’s errand boy, traveling all over the place hunting down information on Sam. Which honestly is fine, it’s fine, but really, it wouldn’t kill you to say thank you, Dean. Cas doesn’t even have wings anymore; he’s riding around in a stolen truck for goodness sake. It’s not as easy as it used to be for him.

Jay: Wait, no, forget everything I just said cause my little Destiel heart just exploded. I need a moment. Or three.

Dawn: I am not Destiel at all and even I am all pitter-patter over this please-help-me-with-my-personal-problems BFF moment. And I love Dean admitting he is having a hard time with the very thing he wanted most of all. My little angtsy boy is growing up.

Yes, that’s right—Dean turned to Cas for advice on how to deal with Mommy. And he gets “Sasstiel” for his troubles, too!!

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

Dean’s “yeah, thanks, buddy” face is everything, but then it’s even better when Mom comes in and is SO Mom because of course she eavesdropped on that phone call. Mary is sassy AF herself, the way she just rolls with Dean’s defensive sarcasm like she’s been doing it for the past 33 years, and if we ever wondered where our boys got their sass from, now we know. It seems they also inherited “no chick flick moments” from her too, because she cuts right to the chase and bluntly asks Dean about his fear of overwhelming her.

Can we take a moment to appreciate the amazing Mary Winchester, please? Dean’s defensive sarcasm? Check. Sam’s no beating around the bush about feelings? Check. Bad ass hunter mojo? Check. And since there is no chance of her becoming a love interest for our boys, could it be possible that Mary is the Lady BAMF we have been waiting for, for all these years? We had our predecessors, to be sure, primarily in Ellen and Charlie, but it’s starting to feel like Mary is The One True Lady BAMF, and we are all the better for it. Of course this probably means she is in for a terrible, heart-breaking end that will send us all to either the bottle or the asylum, but for now, revel in it.

And speaking of angst, here comes the first heart wrench of the episode: Mary’s confession about her fears about meeting Sam, what Yellow Eyes did, and all the self blame she carries because of it. Like mother, like son. Let’s add that to the previous list—Dean’s penchant for blaming himself for everything? Check. Maybe seeing that in Mary will help Dean understand what it feels like to watch someone you blame themselves for things that were so blatantly not their fault.

Sam and his bed partner are still super cozy and we all puke in our mouths a little because this is SO NOT RIGHT! Sam, come on. You have endured countless sessions of torture of all kinds– mental, physical, psychological, whatever–but bad choices with women are your downfall every single time. Then one question too much reveals this to have been a trick, and we can all breathe again.

Jay: At this point, I feel a little guilty about how mad I was at Sam for his sorta-betrayal, but, then again, not really and if any, only a little.

Dawn: Yeah. Sorrynotsorry.

Let’s talk about how often Sam has been forced to hallucinate. It’s pretty solid proof of the Winchester/Campbell fortitude that his brain isn’t just pudding. That said, the Men of Letters clearly know that Sam’s weakness is lady parts, because of all the hallucinations Toni could have chosen, of all the varied things she could have used to get to Sam, she opted for vagina. This Woman of Letters is no joke now; that was serious and dangerous spellwork on her end. Thankfully, she goes back to something our boys know much more intimately, which is blades and bruises.

source: weallneedcastiel.tumblr.com

source: weallneedcastiel.tumblr.com

Jay: Cue one of the hottest clips Supernatural has given us in a long time, sexy, sweaty Winchester skin, sharp, deadly, blades and a slow sensual pursuit of pain. I’ve never really been attracted to Sam until just this very moment when Toni slides the tip of that cold, sharp, steel over his bronzed, sweat-covered collarbone and neck, and lips… and… and I know, I am losing focus, mmmm, but hot-dayum.

Dawn: (looking up from furiously writing knife-play fan fic) Sorry, did you say something?

Toni isn’t adept at torture. Her bumbling attempts are far below Sam-torture standards. We have to hand it to her for spellwork, but this is amateur hour, so let’s end this scene with another half-assed “oops did she kill Sam with that” cutaway. Yawn.

Back to Dean and his laptop and his coffee and his mom at the bunker. Mary says, “[John] was a great father,” and we have to pause as Dawn laughs so hard she nearly chokes to death and Jay’s vision goes red with suppressed rage. Jensen Ackles is the king of expressions in this ep, because his shocked and surprised and sad and emotional little bunny face is clearly screaming, “Don’t disagree with your mother, and REALLY don’t tell her about the alcoholism and the abuse and the abandonment and all the other horrors of your childhood, and just let her remember her husband they way she needs to.”

Jay: And you know what, no, cue the rage, well maybe just me, maybe it’s just my rage, because no, you do not talk about John to Dean and you most CERTAINLY do not tell Dean that John was a good father. FOR CHUCK’S SAKE, Mary, you have NO idea! This has to be some sort of set-up for a bigger plot because, no, don’t you pull that shit on our Dean; don’t you dare.

DAWN: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the stream of unintelligible screaming curses going on in my head because FUCK YOU, JOHN. FUCK. YOU. FOREVER.

Thank Chuck that Cas saves the (emotional) day (again). And he’s found Sam, but he can’t get in to help because the place is warded AF. Dean is all ready to save his brother single-handedly, and Mary is like, that’s adorable. And it is adorable how Dean tries to handle his mom but it’s is absolutely AWESOME how Mary just shuts it down.

Can this just be Mary’s signature gif forever? Because it really is. And then she makes it even better by simply saying, “Good chat,” and walking away.

We love her forever.

Remember how Toni knew all about Sam and vaginas? Yeah. She asks about Ruby.

ENTIRE SPN FANDOM: OH NO SHE DIDN’T

Oh, yes she did. But before Sam has time to panic, Toni’s phone rings and it’s Mick, a new Brit and a Man of Letters and guess what? Turns out that Toni wasn’t *exactly* following orders. She has been a bad girl, in fact, and now Mick has to come clean up her mess.

OH HOORAY, IT’S TIME FOR OUR SECOND FAVORITE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY. Rowena is dating for money, and Crowley looks amazing in white and we all need a moment to appreciate the suaveness that is Mark Sheppard. He should go for this look more often.

source: weallneedcastiel.tumblr.com

source: weallneedcastiel.tumblr.com

So Rowena is mad, but Crowley is smart, so they conspire to get Lucifer. Who is looking for a new vessel. Where can he find a vessel like that?

Ladies and gentlemen, Rick Springfield. We’ll make this quick: emotionally vulnerable rock star, heavy drinker since losing his wife to suicide, dead wife shows up in hotel room, says she is an angel (archangel, technically. THE archangel, really), Vince Vincente (seriously) the rockstar says yes, Lucifer gets fun new vessel. So Lucifer has a type when it comes to vessels.

Jay: Not for nothing this was a really great scene by Rick Springfield. I totally felt those tears, and that voice waver, it was great. I could feel the pain of regret in every second of that scene.

Dawn: I guess to be Lucifer’s vessel, you gotta “Love Somebody.” He’s gonna push it just a little too far one night. ::dies laughing::

In the Impala, on the way to save Sammy, this conversation happens:

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

source: canonspngifs.tumblr.com

But there is also angst, because Mary never wanted this for her boys. Dean helps, and almost spills the beans on what a COMPLETE DOUCHENOZZLE Dad was, but manages to turn it around.

And now we rant. Because we are all trying NOT to think of all the times Dean tried to live a normal life himself, all the ways he tried to maintain the smallest sense of normalcy for him and Sammy, all the holidays, and that one time he tried to take a girl to a dance AFTER BEING ABANDONED AT BOONDOCKS JUVVIE, ESSENTIALLY, and then taken BACK to the fucked-up life at the last possible second. And it breaks our hearts because, Dean, you’re not your father and you never will be because you are BETTER than that, so please stop lumping yourself in with him and for CHUCK’S SAKE, stop turning Sam into some kind of saviour, because if it wasn’t for you Sam would have never had any sort of normalcy in his youth and instead he would have walked right down the path you did, right behind John, good little soldier number two, but he didn’t, because of you. (And maybe Bobby but don’t get us started on that rant yet). Because you gave him everything John didn’t, and more. Where is Cas when we need him? YOU DESERVE TO BE SAVED, DEAN WINCHESTER. You deserve to be loved, and cherished, and forgiven for everything you THINK you did wrong. You are deserving. Of so, so much. You are worthwhile. You are.

Season Four,

Season Four, “Lazarus Rising”

Continue reading

A Mother and Child Reunion – Supernatural Recap – Keep Calm and Carry On

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Supernatural: Season 12, Episode 1
“Keep Calm and Carry On”
Posted by Dawn and Jaymee

It was a long hellatus but damn, are we back with a “mother”fucking bang. Mary Winchester is back and she is taking no prisoners, except for perhaps a few in her own mind, as she adjusts to having been dead for 33 years. We have a new big baddie in the form of a human woman: Toni Bevell, a Woman of Letters from the UK. She wears jodhpurs. We all basically hate her already. But with two strong women leading us into season 12, our reaction gifs will be other kick-ass female characters we love. Welcome to Season 12 of Supernatural. Hold on to your heart.

spn-1

Source: thespookylordmisha

THE STORY SO FAR: All of last season. Read our recap because we are not going through all of that again. Music game is already on point, with the montage accompanied by April Wine’s “Bad Boys.”

We open exactly where we left off: Dean in the woods in the middle of nowhere, staring at the face of his now-alive mom (thanks, Amara!). Dean reaches for his mom. She, in turn, sends Dean to the ground with a serious arm behind the back hold (and a kick to the ribs, we think) and asks, “Where am ? Who the hell are you?”  Dean responds, “I’m Dean Winchester. I’m your son.”  And Mary quite reasonably shoots back, “No, my Dean is four years old.”  “I was,” Dean says. “When you died.”  And Mary’s memory of the night that started it all comes rushing back. She lets go with a gasp.

Dean offers her a quick run of facts: when she was born and to whom, where they lived, everything Dad told him. He tells her when she and John met and how, and gives her enough details that she believes the unbelievable. She even ends his story by saying, “And then I burned.” Both Jensen Ackles and Samantha Smith (Mary) are to be credited for their acting in this scene, and we love Mary instantly. When they finally hug, it yanks heartstrings right out. Dean’s face is everything we have been waiting for, as he gets something he thought was out of reach forever.

Source: the-clumsy-one-from-paris

Source: the-clumsy-one-from-paris

A truck driver is heading down the road when a meteor blows right through a billboard for “The Mystery Spot”and damn near into his truck. Dawn briefly holds her breath for a cameo and is only slightly disappointed when the meteor turns out to have been Castiel. So now we know what happens to angels when they are banished. He wants to know where he is, specifically how far he is from Lebanon, KS. It’s three hours. Cas wastes no time. The driver’s mind is wiped clean, he falls to the ground, and Cas takes the truck. Awww. His first grand theft auto.

Source: consultingpiskies

Source: consultingpiskies

Dean and Mary are sitting on a bench, talking about how John died and how the boys became hunters, and how often she has actually met her adult son, both alive and dead. She remembers nothing of the meetings, and is trying to wrap her head around everything. “It’s a lot,” Dean says. “I know it’s a lot.” This is the understatement of the decade.

Now we are outside an unknown house, and the British bitch who shot Sam is waking up the cranky doctor who lives inside. She shows him the trussed and bleeding Sam she has in her trunk and calmly tells him to remove the bullet from Sammy’s leg. The doc, who is actually a veterinarian, is like “WTF, no”; Toni (with a Chuck-damned i at the end, FFS) is like “how about YES” (helped by her bodyguard showing off his piece), telling him, “Animals, people, they’re all meat.” She’s charming. We can’t wait until Mary kills her. Doc is still like, “nope.” He changes his mind when she opens her bag and flashes literally piles of bound $100s. He’s now very helpful. Student loans are a bitch, yo.

Now there’s a dead guy with his eyes burnt out lying on the floor of another house. Crowley (Hail to the king!) is looking over him, a rather thoughtful expression on his face. Two guys in suits – sorry, demons in suits – come through the door. The chubby bearded one is bitching about work; the bespectacled one seems more gung-ho about working for Lucifer. They find the dead guy on the floor; Crowley is not there. Our king is eavesdropping, angel blade in hand. The demons are there to clean, then “go meet the man.”

Back to Toni, who is on the phone telling her kid that she misses them and loves them “so, so much.” All while Sam is chained and bound to a wooden chair (that looks like it was made by a freshman wood shop class) in the basement. Also she is still wearing jodhpurs, which Dawn finds irrationally infuriating.

Dawn: Who wears jodhpurs to a torturing? And she’s not even wearing riding boots with them. Who wears pumps with jodhpurs? I hate her already.

Jay: Also, like, who the hell picks the the open door leading to your prisoner as the one place in your hideout to talk to your kid on the phone? That just screams poor planning; leaking your one true vulnerability within any distance of your enemy. ALSO, super cliche dressing the British girl in horse riding attire. Jodhpurs with a blue blazer. Come on we get it already, “She’s not from round these parts, ya’hear.”

We are calling her Jodhpurs from now on. Jodhpurs has a friend, who happily jolts Sam awake with a cattle prod as Jodhpurs takes a seat and says, “Now, Sam, let’s begin.” Sam knows who she is and he would like to know where they are, because…

spn-4

Source: themegalosaurus

Essentially, the British branch of the Men (and Women) of Letters has been watching our boys “for years” and they are rather fed up with the Winchester penchant for breaking the world, so they’ve decided “things need to change.” Cue the unearthly laughter of several thousand preternatural beings who are like, “You have not been paying attention.” Sassy Sam is sassy. Jodhpurs assures Sam that if he just answers her questions, he can walk right out the door. Sam essentially tells her to go fuck herself and reminds her that he has been tortured by no less than Lucifer, “And you, you’re just an accent in a pantsuit. What can you do to me?” Freezing cold water boarding, apparently. We are always up for some soaking wet Sammy, but this is definitely not our kink. He is shivering before long, but that doesn’t keep him from telling them both again, “Screw you.”

spn-5

Source: dean-winchester-crush

Dawn: I would also like to point out that the cold shower is a sprinkler attached to a garden hose and stuck to the ceiling. Frankly, I expected more from the London Chapter.

Jay: First, Sassy Sammy is best Sammy, and his outlook on torture is getting hilarious. Second, I just want to have a Sam Winchester torture counter, cause, like, what is this, 5-6 times now? At least once every season since he came back from the cage. In fact, I think the whole season after he got his soul back should count twice.

To the Bunker! Where there is blood on the floor and an angel banishing sigil on the wall. Dean hands his mother a revolver that was taped underneath the map table and goes to search on his own. Mom does the same, briefly fascinated by the books in the library. She hears a door open, ducks into a doorway, then turns the gun on the intruder: “Hands in the air, get on your knees.” Damn, Mom.

spn-6

Source: Giphy

It’s Cas, who has about as much patience as Mary right now. He wants to know who she is; she doesn’t give two fucks what he wants. Dean walks in to see his mother training a gun on his best friend. He gets mom to stand down, and is rewarded with a huge bear hug from Cas. Dean’s embarrassed but relieved smile is precious. He wants to know where Sam is; Cas wants to know how he is still alive. Mary wants to know who the hell her son is talking to.

Dean: He’s an angel.
Mary: Come again?

Source: canonspngifs

Source: canonspngifs

We loved us some Casifer but damn, it’s good to have Castiel back. Our angel briefly explains what happened, but he doesn’t really know much. Dean does a quick computer search, then decides it’s time to head out.

Hold on your hearts, please. Dean takes Mary to see Baby. “Hi, sweetheart,” she says softly to the Impala. “Did you miss me?” And this is us:

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Continue Reading

A Quick Guide to Supernatural Season 11

Supernatural Season 11: In which a whole lot of shit happens, we get some nice fan service moments and a few really important ones, and we spin from laughter to tears so fast this season that we often wonder if we are secretly watching Doctor Who

Posted by Dawn and introducing her new SPN partner-in-crime, Jaymee

Caveat: Not caught up? Please don’t read. There will be spoilers.

So the Darkness is born. Err, reborn. Reincarnated? Can immortals be reincarnated? The point is, she’s back, thanks to Sam and Dean releasing that shit when they killed Death, blasted the Mark of Cain off Dean’s arm, and all the blackness of the entire universe apparently came spilling out of the crust of the earth just in time for some random lady in some town to pop out a kid at the exact same moment and BOOM – Amara.

Little baby Amara, who not only has a birthmark of Cain on her chubby little shoulder, but also enjoys nom-nom-nomming on those infant favorites, those happy little human batteries: souls. Kids grow up pretty fast on a healthy diet of human (and demon) souls, as we soon see. Also there was a deadly and super duper scary white fog that turned people into monsters of the 28 Days Later kind, and Sam got infected but managed to save himself at the last moment thanks to that huge throbbing brain of his, because if he hadn’t, we’d have no show.

And Crowley knows all about the wee Darkness. So before long, he shows up to get little 7 (ish) year old Amara off the streets by pulling up in a white windowless van and literally asking, “Want some candy, little girl?” Except by “candy” he means the souls of the helpless family he has tied up in there. Oh, and now he’s Uncle Crowley.

Episode 4 takes place entirely in the car is and called “Baby.” Do not miss this episode. It is one of the all-time best.

OK, we are going to sum-up like crazy for the first half of the season because things get good and complex after the mid-season break. Castiel is still trying to shake off Rowena’s attack dog spell and he surrenders himself over to “heaven’s mercy” because that always worked so well in the past-tiel. He’s tortured by angels. Again. We lose Hannah to a hero’s death. We meet a new Reaper, Billie the BAMF, and boy oh boy, does she have it out for our boys. No more trips to the underworld and free rides back any more. Billie wants to toss their silvery souls right into the abyss. We also meet three new hunters this season, and none of them die! Girl hunter Eileen catches Sammy’s eye in a terrific ep that also includes the luminous Dee Wallace hitting on Dean like a champ, to the point where this happens. Claire Novak pops up again, trying so hard to be a hunter and honestly? She may just make it there. We get the adorable gay hunters Jessy and Cesar, and we wish they had their own show. There are some new monsters that Dean tries get everyone to call them were-pires. Stop trying to make were-pire happen, Dean; it’s not going to happen.

Rowena’s spell sends Cas into actual seizures, so the boys need to find that wicked ginger minx in a hurry. Surprisingly, when they capture her and are all “Hey, witch, please fix our angel,” she does, then promptly escapes because witch got skills, yo, and damn, her eyeshadow game is still on point. The boys bench Cas while he recovers, so he’s stuck on desk duty, i.e. research. He has panic attacks and starts binge watching Netflix, which is an excellent coping mechanism as we all know.

Sam dies. Ish. Dean commits temporary suicide (again) in order to talk to Reaper Billie and offer his life in place of his brother’s (again). Billie is like PSYCH SAM’S ALIVE and we briefly think she is going to add, “But you’re screwed, so welcome to oblivion,” but a doctor brings Dean back and they are both safe and alive again (again).

Episode 16 had Bobby and Rufus in it. And Dean and Bobby seeing each other, oh so briefly. Christ, there weren’t enough tissues in the world.

source: out-in-the-open.tumblr.com

source: out-in-the-open.tumblr.com

Amara and Uncle Crowley are hitting some bumps along the road to a happy demonic family, such as Amara eating her way through most of the demons in hell. This displeases Uncle Crowley and he basically grounds her, so she runs off into the human world to snack on more souls. Our boys find Crowley’s “villa” a.k.a. an abandoned insane asylum (horror trope alert, yet somehow it works) and track Amara, now a teenager, there. But oh shit — Dean realizes he can’t hurt her. Not like “she’s invincible” but like “I am incapable of hurting her.” Problematic, no?

Continue reading