Sleepy Hollow Season 3, Episode 15
Posted by Kim
#RenewSleepyHollow. That is all. Let’s do this.
A group of middle-aged guys desperately trying to cling to their dreams gather in a garage for band practice. The lead guitarist Kyle abandons their post-punk indie aesthetic in favor of shredding on his guitar. This angers his bandmates and Kyle threatens to pull a Zayn (excuse me, ZAYN), which apparently is a weekly thing. Kyle decides to stay (FOR NOW) and they get back into rehearsing. They barely get their groove on when all the sound suddenly vanishes from the room and a cloud of smoke appears. The cloud dissipates, revealing a woman with long black hair, ghostly white skin, and a terrifying mouth (her look is really keeping with the Japanese Horror movie look of the season). She lets out one HELL of a scream. The men keel over in agony. Blood spatters on the garage windows. I mean, that’s one way of saying she’s not a fan of the post-punk aesthetic, isn’t it?
Of course, we know this creature is a Wailing Banshee (even when the witnesses don’t) and quite frankly I’m surprised that it took Sleepy Hollow this long to get to this particular monster. Sophie is one of the first agents on the crime scene. All the victims have had their eardrums ruptured. Being that she’s become such an integral part of the Scooby gang, she calls Abbie into the office immediately when she sees something fishy on the recording of the rehearsal session. She proudly informs Abbie that she made off with the video before anyone else saw it. “You are getting good at this,” Abbie smirks. (STOP FLIRTING WITH HER, SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER FROM THE FUTURE.) (Yes, I enjoy that theory SO MUCH.) The girls divvy up duties like PROS (seriously, has Sophie always been here? She fits in so seamlessly), with Abbie planning on consulting with Crane while Sophie takes the video to Joenny so they can clean it up and get a better handle on what they are dealing with.
Of course, everything goes to shit when Abbie realizes that The Hidden One has paid Crane a visit, but we’ll get into the in the #WHATTHEDAMNHELL section.
At the Trailer de la Joenny, they a get right to trying to isolate what EXACTLY blew the eardrums of the band members, other than their own music. After trying to isolate the sound to no avail, it FINALLY clicks with Jenny that the creature is a banshee. (Abbie on the phone: Is that the screeching bird woman thing? Jenny: That’s a harpy.) With Abbie occupied by Pandora and The Hidden One, Jenny agrees to take on the banshee. TEAMWORK. Her investigation takes them to an Irish Pub, where Jenny gets advice from her cute pageboy hat wearing bartender buddy Connor. (JOEY’S FACE THOUGH. He’s so jealoussssssss.) While Connor advises that Jenny should just run away from the banshee (smart lad), he does tell her that the Banshee can be killed with ancient iron and that she is clearly lured by a ruckus (which makes sense as to why she was attracted to
ZAYN’s Kyle’s shredding). Joe, Jenny, and Sophie make a pit stop at a graveyard to filch some ancient iron and then they drive around in ambulance (nice nod to the fact that Joey is an EMT and not just a tight henley wearing cutie) with the sirens blaring. The Banshee’s cloud of smoke appears and the Scoobies protect themselves with flimsy foam earplugs because that product placement deal with Bose Noise Canceling Earphones fell through at the last-minute. The ear plugs prove don’t do much to stifle the wail, but they work well enough Jenny to be aware enough to check her texts before they pull the trigger on the crossbow. Welp. Abbie needs the banshee alive for reasons I PROMISE I am getting to. The Banshee gets away and Jenny calls Abbie to let her know that this plan to capture it alive is batshit crazy but Abbie gives no fucks because Crane is in danger.
Always check your texts before you kill any monsters, kids.
We’ve been saying it ALL SEASON but MAN the lighting department is killing it. The scene where they lured the Banshee with Beethoven’s 5th Symphony was absolutely GORGEOUS. They manage to capture her (“Who would’ve thought you could hogtie a banshee with an industrial sound blanket and iron cable? It’s always the darnedest things.”) but things go to shit once they bring the Banshee to another beautifully lit warehouse. Joe and Jenny think that it’s an appropriate time to talk about the whole WendiJoe aspect of their relationship and the banshee wrestles free of her sound blanket because they are distracted. Jenny is in SERIOUS trouble and Joey acts on complete instinct and kills the banshee on the spot. “I didn’t have a choice,” He gasps and my heart soars because even when their relationship is fraught, Joey puts Jenny’s life first. Sophie is none too pleased though. “Who’s gonna tell Mills that we knocked off her monster? Hmmm? NOT IT.”
Of course we know that Team Witness has ANOTHER monster at their disposal, so let’s get to WHATTHEDAMNHELL, shall we?
But WHAT would the Banshee think of Zayn’s new record? 4 out of 10 Sandmen.
Crane is alone in the archives, still trying to crack the logistics of the rune and the connection it forges with Abbie, when he hears the door open. He grins, thinking Abbie has come back for another round of pastry induced foreplay (SERIOUSLY JUST DO IT). “If you do not come bearing cruller…” he starts, but then he looks up and finds not his wife, but the Hidden One, resplendent in another outfit from Demon Anthropologie. RUH-ROH. It seems THO has FINALLY decided to take action rather than sitting around and pouting about how inadequate Pandora is. “You and the ones you lead have dared to lay a hand on my consort,” he growls, as he supernaturally chokes Crane. (Consort? STFU, I hate you.) “You have all forgotten your place and for that you will pay the ultimate price.” THO demands to know where Abbie is and the way Crane steels himself to protect her at all costs adds years to my life. “You should know I’ve died before,” Crane states, a determined glint in his eye. “I do not fear dying again.” THO continues to threaten Abbie’s life, promising to make her death slow and excruciating, and you actually SEE Crane’s resolve weaken when he thinks about Abbie being in pain, but he holds strong. Suddenly, the rune comes to life, protecting Crane and spreading a blue light all across the room. “Thura,” THO gasps. WHO?
Abbie returns to the Archives only to have the doors blow her back as if electrocuted. She panics and runs through the tunnels trying to find an alternate route that will allow her into the archives; it is there where she encounters Pandora, who just looks bored by the whole thing. “Please lower that ineffectual weapon, Witness,” Pandora drawls, metaphorically filing her nails. “I am not in the mood.” She goes on to tell Abbie that the Emblem of Thura (WHO?) has been activated for the first time in 4000 years. The emblem feeds on the power of the imprisoned so it is getting stronger and stronger thanks to THO’s exceeding amount of Male Privilege. The only way to calm him down? “That would be me,” Pandora states. (OOOOOOKAAAAAAY WHATEVER YOU SAY.) Nothing can penetrate the barrier but Pandora has done it before, surely you can do it again, right? “When I last released him, my box was in tact and my powers were at their peak,” Pandora says innocently (I mean she may as well be batting her eyes). Oh, so THAT’S where this is headed, isn’t it? Abbie refuses to give Pandora what she wants right away, insisting that they can find another way. Hence the need for bringing in the Banshee alive so Pandora can harness its evil and direct it towards the barrier.
Inside the archives, Crane awakes to THO ineffectually trying to break the barrier, even though he KNOWS he can’t and he’s only making it stronger. (You jag.) Crane is all “Would you STOP you’re going to kill us, you asshole,” but THO’s need to be the most superior being in the room runs way too deep. (God-Privilege, amirite?) “The emblem’s more powerful than you, isn’t it?” Crane smirks, barely holding back his glee. “And I thought today would bear no fruit.” Crane turns to what he knows best in these situations: his beloved books. THO calls him a nerd because he has a high-school jock mentality. Crane isn’t bovered though. He’s the furthest thing from it actually, as he launches into what is quite possibly my favorite Crane speech of the entire series.
Crane: Listen…Duke Ellington. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Miles Davis, the artist formerly known as Prince, the political passion of Bob Dylan and Nina Simone, the poetry of Emily Dickinson, Shakespeare’s sonnets, odes by Yeats. The works of Austen, Dostoyevsky, Morrison, Ta-Nehisi Coates. Leonardo Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Frida Kahlo. Picasso! The fearless lens of Diane Arbus, and the sublime squiggle of Charles M. Schulz. What you call pablum is, in fact, inspiration, and it is forged in the enduring soul of humanity. You may know everything.. but you understand nothing.
First of all, Tom Mison, your Shakespearean training is showing. WOULD YOU LET ME LIVE? Second, this is EVERYTHING I love about Ichabod Crane as a hero wrapped up in one beautiful monologue. Much like The Doctor, Ichabod is a character who values the power of wisdom and wit over brute strength. He is a Ravenclaw, through and through. (Abbie and Jenny are Gryffindors, though The Sorting Hat had a hard time with Jenny. Joey is a Hufflepuff. Come at me in the comments if you disagree.) Ichabod will always turn to his brain in times of crisis before he takes any sort of action. It’s the best and most maddening thing about him. REBELLIOUS BOOKWORM INDEED.
THO is not moved by Crane’s rhapsodizing on art. All art is made to worship HIM after all. (You JAG.) He decides to hit Crane where it hurts by going after the REASON he thrives on knowledge. And BOY does he drop a truth bomb. “You’ve always lived to please; to serve…your father, Washington, Jefferson. No room to question your own wants or identity. Even your role as Witness was inherited through your bloodline. That wasn’t a choice. You didn’t know? Your life was mapped out long before you were even born. So, how could you ever be anything more than that boy in the stables, reading books in the dark?”
Um. WUT. I think Crane and I made the same face in that moment. There’s a big difference in being chosen to be a Witness and the fact that it was your destiny, a destiny that has been passed down from generation to generation. The very core of destiny is the fact that it’s unavoidable but for some reason the whole generational thing really seems to punch Crane in the stomach. How many of Ichabod and Abbie’s ancestors has The Hidden One defeated before? It’s a sobering thought. Then, THO lands a final blow. He uses his powers to read all the books in the archives. There is nothing there that will help them defeat the emblem’s prison. In a word, they are pretty fucked. Time for Crane to eat his feelings. ALSO HOW IS THERE NOT A GIF OF THAT? Get it together, gif-making fandom. Crane shows THO the Sumerian Tablet and he confirms that it depicts Crane’s ancestors. “If I am trapped, the Lieutenant is searching for a way to release me.” HIS FAITH IN HER SAVING HIM IS SO UNSHAKABLE, I CAN’T BREATHE. THO scoffs at this, refusing to believe that Pandora would stoop to working with Abbie. “Humor me, bro. How can we help them if they did team up? I don’t want to die today,” Crane says. (Well, he basically says that anyway.) THO admits that if he were to work a spell the same time as Pandora, they might be able to diffuse the barrier. The trick is for them to do it at the same time. Ichabod admits that the psychic connection the Emblem provides has been intermittent at best, so there is no way that they can guarantee a sync. “The cuneiform alphabet you used to translate it is 600 years too young,” THO admits. Crane smirks and extends his pen. TIME TO GET TO WORK, BRO.
Back in the tunnels, Abbie and Company are pondering what they are going to do now that they have a dead banshee on their hands. “We need another monster,” Pandora says, looking straight at Joey. You actually SEE the moment it clicks for him…it’s like he’s been waiting for someone to bring it up ever since the banshee died. Abbie and Jenny blanch at this option, but bless Joey’s pure Hufflepuff soul…he KNOWS this is the only way they will be able to get to Crane before THO’s Privilege blows them all to pieces. “What will happen to me?” he asks in a small voice. (BABY.) He may die he may not, who the hell knows? “Will it be gone forever?” (LET ME LOVE YOU JOEY.) Maybe, maybe not. Joey decides that the slim chance that Pandora’s spell will draw the Wendigo out of him forever is worth the risk, both for him and for his future with Jenny. Screw the whole potentially dying thing. Joe Corbin is IN. BLESS.
Abbie goes all mama bear on Pandora, basically saying that she’s going to END HER if Joe dies. Joe and Jenny share an Empire Strikes Back moment that I’ll discuss in much more detail later. It’s go time. Joey loses his shirt because the showrunners know we’ve been begging to see Zach’s pecs since NYCC and he steps inside the mystic circle Pandora has set up. He HAS to stay in the circle for Pandora to be able to harness the magic. Joey transforms and immediately fights against the circle. Pandora doesn’t try very hard to contain him and is basically like “Welp. That didn’t work. Guess we should kill him,” which raises red flags ERRYWHERE. Jenny manages to get WendiJoe to get back into the circle because LOVE WINS ALWAYS and Pandora gets to work. She is able to harness WendiJoe’s POWER and you can see how the spell is torturing him, physically separating the Wendigo for his Human Self. It’s awful. Finally Pandora gets to her endgame. “I can harness the power of the beast, but I can not direct it with precision. The Box, Abbie. Any fragments that you have in your possession…I need them now.” Abbie is all BITCH I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’VE BEEN PLAYING ME THE WHOLE TIME AND NOW IT’S SUPER AWKWARD BECAUSE JOE’S LIFE IS AT STAKE AND I HAVE TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT. But really…who didn’t see this coming? Abbie definitely did…but she did it anyway because deep down she knows that she and Crane can beat Pandora, even with her box. She still reserves her right to be pissed off though.
Pandora claims she has no secret motive and she’s so earnest in that moment, I almost believe her. Shannyn Sossamon has been turning in one HELL of a performance this season and she takes it to the next level when she admits Pandora’s deepest darkest secret. “It’s my fault,” she confesses. “All of it. My love’s entrapment. Then, and now. It was I who told the human servants long ago of the Emblem’s power. To make them feel safe in our alliance. I never thought they would use it against him. But they did. I walked the earth 4,000 years, trying to release him from their imprisonment…only to err again. Because I knew you had it. I knew you had the Emblem, and I did not tell him.”
My question is…WHY didn’t Pandora tell him about the Emblem? BECAUSE SHE’S BEEN LOOKING TO END HIM THIS WHOLE TIME, THAT’S WHY. Pandora says it herself. She is the most devious of all creatures. So why is she keeping a secret this monumental from the one she loves, from the one she’s walked the Earth 4000 years for? Because she wants to be her own windkeeper, that’s why. She can play up the sob story to Abbie and Jenny for all its worth, but those are crocodile tears my friends. What Pandora isn’t counting on in that moment is the fact that Crane and THO have opened up the psychic connection and are watching this shit go down. “She KNEW,” THO snarls. Pandora, you in danger, gurl.
Abbie turns over their shards of Pandora’s box because when it comes down to it, like Crane, she will always choose one of her friends’ lives over a short-sighted victory. The box gives Pandora the energy she needs to harness the spell and the barrier is broken. Joey collapses to the ground, still alive, thankfully. Is the Wendigo actually gone? IT BETTER BE.