“Nobody owns me.” – Scandal Gif-Cap – Extinction

Scandal Season 6, Episode 6
“Extinction”
Posted by Kim

What I am loving about this season of Scandal so far is that every episode has focused around one character and the events that brought them towards Election night. We’re spending this week with Papa Pope and we were promised ANSWERS as to who was behind the Vargas assassination. Boy, did we get them…as well as many more questions. To the gifs!

We check in on Papa Pope 53 days before the election. I love that he makes himself breakfast on a tray every day.

A mysterious box is delivered to his door. Me, automatically: 

(It’s a toy dinosaur, btw)

Eli pops in on a college lecture given by Broadway’s Tonya Pinkins and looks endeared by her. 

“It’s the Predators who are the most vulnerable.” That’s not what the Jurassic Park movies taught me.

Eli regresses into his FULL SCIENCE NERD life when he banters with Sandra about Dinosaurs. 

“We are a long way from grad school…” OH THEY WERE A THING.

Sandra takes Eli to a lab that would make Frankenstein jealous. 

SO MUCH FLIRTING OVER SCIENCE AND DINOSAURS. 

“I could use a partner.” Yessssssss.

“This is the part where you’re supposed to give me some advice.” Olivia comes to her dad about the Mellie and Marcus situation which reminds me: FREE MELLICUS 2K17 AND LET THEM BE IN LOVE.

“You’re here, pretending you don’t already know what you have to do. You know. It’s clear.” 

“She wants it almost as badly as you do, but there is a difference. She is weak. She is undisciplined. She is soft.” Excuse me, SIR.

“She has never learned the hard way that love is a privilege reserved for the victor.”

“I raised a warrior!”

“Eyes on the prize, baby.” I mean even with all the Marcus Drama, Liv’s eyes have never LEFT the prize, she just has a modicum of a conscience.

“Don’t you ever get lonely?” Is that Scandal‘s version of “Don’t you think she looks tired?”

“There he is. The nerd I remember.” I feel like we’re getting a glance of the real Eli here and I am sad.

BUT WAIT THERE ARE HIDDEN CAMERAS IN THE LAB. 

“Anything you need, you just give me a holler.” Remember that lady who scared the bejeezus out of Eli last week? THAT’S HER.

That benefactor that’s paying for Sandra’s dinosaurs? Doesn’t exist. The whole thing is a lie.

“I’m surrounded by children! They don’t know who Marvin Gaye is!” Eli goes to Liv’s house under the guise of raiding her record collection for the lab.

“I don’t play them, I’m busy making a President!” No time for dance parties when you are Queen-making.

“Um how long has that car been out there?” Someone is getting paranoid and it’s Eli.

Eli shows up at the lab with booze and memories about his last dig with Sandra. 

“That’s not what I remember most about that trip.” Soooooo, she’s the one that got away.

“I don’t have a lot of regret in my life. I regret that.” Eli leads Sandra to a closet to make out and I totally buy that this is genuine…

UNTIL ELI PULLS A GUN ON HER IN THE CLOSET. 

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“Suck it up and run the world.” – Scandal Gif-Cap – They All Bow Down

Scandal Season 6, Episode 5
“They All Bow Down”
Posted by Sage

Hello again, Lovers of Liberty! It’s SO good to be with you again, since the gif-cap took a bye week on episode 4. To sum up “The Belt”: prison is NO place for a former Chief of Staff, and Tom admitted that he was paid by someone to say that Cyrus ordered the hit on Frankie Vargas. Our assassin is still out there and the country still doesn’t have an incoming president. So, shall we see what Jake Ballard’s been up to this whole time?

“Not since Christ stood among the lepers has there been such excitement.” InDecision 2016 is Sally Langston’s domain, and she is currently living. (When isn’t she?) She seems to be a proponent of Mellie and Jake, but we all know she’s a fickle bitch.

Vanessa: “I feel like Jackie O. or something.”
Jake: *rolls eyes* 

“America is not electing Olivia Pope. They are electing Mellie Grant and Jake Ballard.” Vanessa tells Jake not to get so grumpy about his “sister” (yikes) telling him what to do and instead to keep his eye on the prize. (Kim: “Every woman on this show is Lady Macbeth.”)

“He is after all…a murderer.” Sally is reveling in Cyrus’s bad luck.

She’s also teasing a sit-down interview with picture-perfect patriot couple, Jake and Vanessa. Who hate each other.

“That’s political money.” “It’s a political lie.” Jake is so done with this campaign and his fake marriage.

Quinn wants to help Cyrus, but Liv does not want to hear it right now.

“Huck found Vanessa.” Olivia spins some yarn to Sally about Vanessa having a vicious flu and being unable to make it out of bed for the interview.

“Lady, you are nuts.” “Maybe, but I ain’t sorry.” In reality, Vanessa is drunk and disorderly and just crashed her car into a tree with a himbo bartender in the front seat. She’s also defiant af.

“Did you wake up this morning knowing you were going to ruin our lives?” “Like you give a damn what I woke up thinking.” While the Gladiators erase all evidence that Vanessa’s little “accident” ever happened, Vanessa and Jake perform a modern revival of Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?

“You say dance, the monkey dances.” Jake’s version of “playing nice” is being faux-deferential to Olivia, insisting on calling her “boss” and “m’am” until she’s about to either slap him or do him on the desk. (Pick the second one, please, it’s been so long since we’ve had Jake/Olivia hate-sex!)

“Let’s get this over with because I am late for getting away from you.” Get Liv some ointment for that burn.

“I don’t want to win, I have to win. There has to be a point.” Olivia needs to win a “clean” election to redeem her shady dealings in Defiance during Fitz’s first run. She’s a good person, that’s her thing…

“Are you sleeping with her?” Vanessa isn’t an idiot. She senses the intensity between Jake and Liv and totally calls it. So, of course, Jake tells her she’s crazy. Then he fills up her glass, because no one will take a drunk, jilted woman seriously.

“There are places we can send you, nice places.” EVERYONE IS GASLIGHTING HER, THIS POOR WOMAN.

“Give me one more reason to LAY YOU OUT, RIGHT HERE, Vanessa…I am not here for it, not today.” Wow, Liv is only a champion for other women when it suits her, huh?

“I remember because it was when the redhead took my champagne away.” Someone was texting Jake on election night who wasn’t Olivia, according to V.

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“The view from here” – Scandal Gif-Cap – Survival of the Fittest

Scandal Season 6, Episode 1
“Survival of the Fittest”
Posted by Kim

Aaaaaaaaaaand we’re back. GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG.

When we last saw Scandal, Mellie had just won the Republican Nomination for President. Cyrus had pulled a fast one and gotten on the VP Ticket with Frankie Vargas. We were ready for a Battle Royale, where our fictional President would be either a woman or a Latino. It was a DREAM. And then Kerry Washington had to go and get pregnant again (CONGRATS) and our beloved Scandal was pushed to midseason, after the ACTUAL election that turned the world upside down. How will Scandal play out in this new reality we’re all living in? Let’s get to the gifs and see.

We open with Huckleberry Quinn traipsing through the woods on some sort of mission. Remember when they used to have hate sex? If I have to, so do you.

“He could have gotten to her.” How much time have we jumped? Who is he? WHO IS HER? GOD I MISSED THIS SHOW.

In typical Scandal fashion, the Cabin in the Woods explodes.

We flash back 24 hours and it’s Election Night. Team Mellie is gathered around the TV watching the returns come in. The map is an equal distribution between red and blue. Suddenly, Scandal has become a documentary and it’s TOO REAL. (Except Frankie Vargas has a moral compass.)

“I want ‘I voted’ stickers on everyone!!!”

It all comes down to California, which is hilarious because California hasn’t gone Republican since 1988. But it IS Mellie’s home state, so making it a battleground makes total sense. PS I always forget Mellie is a Republican.

 “Olivia’s Business Walk is my favorite thing.” – Sage

Olivia shoots back some whiskey after talking to Charlie who apparently works here now. She knows.

Frankie wins. I get that this makes better television, but DAMN SHONDA IF I DIDN’T NEED THIS. Why why why why.

“Obviously there has been voter tampering!” Mellie goes straight to denial.

“And make sure that the entire campaign staff is aware that this race is far from over.”

“Mellie needs you.” At least Fitz recognizes this is the most important relationship on the show.

“I NEED A MINUTE.” What Fitz isn’t getting is that this loss means as much, if not more, to Olivia as it does for Mellie. And she needs a minute to deal with that before she has to be the bastion of strength for her candidate.

DON’T SEEK COMFORT FROM HIM OLIVIA.

I forgot Will’s wife from Glee was here. She’s drowning her sorrows in booze, so she can stay.

“NO WE ARE STILL IN THIS!!!” WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.

“You have to make the call now, Mellie, before too much time goes by! You wait too long, the press out there is gonna say you’re ungracious. They’re gonna label you a sore loser.” I mean that’s actually what happened IRL, like I said, this show is now a documentary.

“And because you’re a woman, half of them are gonna call you a bitch, and half of them are gonna report that you cried.” AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH THOUGH.

“You don’t go down like that. We don’t go down like that.”

“Make the damn call.”

Olivia can’t even deal with this.

Mellie, my sad queen. Bellamy Young is SO GOOD, y’all. The way she lowers her voice as she speaks to Frankie is so brilliant. WHERE ARE HER EMMY NOMINATIONS?

Olivia giving Mellie prompts for the phone call.

Mellie drinking the victory champagne in the bathtub. Gurl, same.

Mellie and Liv passing the bottle back and forth. PLEASE BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

“You know what gets me? Cyrus. Cyrus Beene was on the winning team. Cyrus Beene gets to hold public office. Can you believe?”

The way they laugh when they say “Vice President Beene” though.

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You’re Gonna Need a Right Hand Man – Scandal Gif-Cap – That’s My Girl

Scandal Season 5, Episode 21
“That’s My Girl”
Posted by Sage

I’ve spent the last six months telling people who quit the show during the endless loop of Olitz that Scandal is THE REALNESS again. A season finale with zero deaths? No bombs? Negative extra-marital affairs? YEP. And it was still one of the best Scandal bows ever. Because as the real world is currently reminding us, elections are WACKADOO. Let’s to the gifs.

“My father wanted a grandson.” Jake is having a friendly after-dinner drink with his new father-in-law discussing Vanessa’s grandfather being kind of a dick.

“You’re the son I never thought I wanted.” 

“I’m sorry sir, I’m sorry you think of me as a son, but there’s another man who thinks of me as his son too.” Jake poisons his new dad for his old one (but not the old-OLD one, who he murdered last week – try to keep up) so that Vanessa (and Jake) will get her inheritance faster.

“It’s only a few more seconds…almost there.” And he’s dead.

Tom tells Cyrus that he found Michael in Virginia with Ella. Cyrus would rather pick a VP than talk about his child.

“The man-child who’s been soiling his pants at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for the past eight years.” The Liberty Report is at the GNC shading Fitz and it is beautiful.

Cyrus asks David to be Frankie’s running mate and tells him that Frankie is an “honest, across the aisle soldier.”

“No, I mean, whom do I have to kill for you? Or imprison for you? What does the Dark Lord Master Cyrus Beene want in return for this?” David knows the drill.

“You two are cut from the same cloth.” Cyrus is really laying it on thick about Frankie’s goodness, hoping to appeal to that part of David Rosen that still thinks he’s wearing the white hat.

“Male, married, and military.” There are three possibilities for Mellie’s running mate who tick all the necessary boxes.

One of them got caught selling expired condoms.

“I was a coke dealer.” Governor Bill Wagner of Missouri is the only one who comes clean about his past, which makes it possible for OPA to scrub it down for him.

“He’s perfect.” Mellie is sitting next to Marcus on the conference room table, by the way. Their thighs are touching.

Edison comes to visit, tells Olivia what Jake said. Why Edison CARES is unclear. Didn’t Jake threaten his whole life and family and everything he stands for?

“I’m not asking you if you understand, I’m asking you what you’re gonna do about it.”

“Your father is building a war chest…you need to save him.” Huck is on Liv about climbing up Jake’s hair and rescuing him from Rowan’s tower too. But…isn’t Jake a grown-ass man?

“Mr. Beene, Eli Pope.” Rowan is at Vargas for President headquarters and he’s going to give the campaign $30 million. Cyrus is like:

“If I only went where I was welcome, I’d never leave the house.” Rowan threatens to tell Frankie what Cyrus did in Harrisburg. He wants Jake on the ticket.

Doug Morton, aka Wagner’s old coke dealing buddy, is getting moved to Albuquerque with a new ID and a nice chunk of change. So forget you saw anything.

Mellie wants Fitz to speak on opening night instead of closing night, because this sniz is about her, goddammit.

“Who knows? Maybe I’ll even end up in Vermont.” Abby looks HORRIFIED.

“My take is that…he’s a soulless dead-eyed monster who murdered the love of my life in cold blood.” Cyrus dreams about saying this to Frankie when he asks what Cyrus thinks of Jake as a VP. *blows a kiss to the sky* For James Novak.

“I think he’d be great.” GREAT. SO GREAT. Everything’s fine, we’re all fine here….how are you?

evans salad

 

Lizzie and David do a Bartlet White House walk and talk!

“I knew it! This is great.” “Is it?” “Well, not for the country, but for you.” Lizzie is flying high about David and Frankie, because it puts her back in the game. David, she’s not so confidant about.

“I’m gonna vote for Frankie Vargas and I have a golden retriever at home named Barry Goldwater.”

David blames Lizzie for him losing Susan. “I cried. Multiple times. Tears. In my eyes.” TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN SHITTY ACTIONS, ROSEN.

“Well, I don’t want to either, but this is where we are.”

Fitz is in Abby’s office reading Liv’s medical records. I’d be shocked that a representative of the US government is spying on one of its citizens, but. Also HER BODY IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS.

“You’re a big boy Cyrus, just say no.” Cyrus tells Olivia about what he did in Harrisburg and that Rowan has it over him.

“You set that up?” “Pretty good, right?” “They were martyred for Jesus! For Political Jesus!” Cyrus is really torn up about it.

“This election should be you and me competing for the Oval.” HEAD TO HEAD. The student vs the master.

“It’s an 8,000 word love letter to himself.” Fitz’s speech for Mellie is all about Fitz. I’m about to have a heart attack and die of not-surprise.

Marcus walks Mellie to the stage to confront Fitz about it and gives her advice. KISS.

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“That’s American greatness.” – Scandal Gif-Cap – Trump Card

Scandal Season 5, Episode 20
“Trump Card”
Posted by Kim

Good news, everyone. The race for the White House is back in full swing AND I saw Hamilton since the last time I did a gif-cap, so I can now use those gifs and actually know what they mean. Who is going to be in the room where it happens? Let’s get to the gifs and find out.

“This is our country. I aim to keep it that way.” Hollis is leading the primary now. Look at your life, America. Look at your choices.

“It’s like Throwback Thursday: Gladiator Reunion.” Liv and Abby unite so they can shut this madness down.

“No more campaigning against each other.” Then Liv and Abby give each other the fakest goodbyes possible.

“I need something LEGAL on Susan.” Yeah the whole not campaigning things lasts 30 seconds.

“Ceasefire get broken. We need to be protected.” Okay, so the not campaigning against each other IS on but Liv wants to be prepared for the moment it’s OFF.

“We’re gonna have a war on our hands.” #TeamSusan searches for dirt on Mellie so they can be ready too. This gon get nasty REAL quick.

“I brought lunch to you!” David continues the “Kiss Susan’s Ass Until She Forgives Me” 2016 World Tour.

“We are going to burn Hollis Doyle and his hillbilly hate to the ground.” Susan explains why she’s coming up with all sorts of neutral language about Mellie. It’s all about destroying Hollis for the moment. Then they can get back to destroying each other.

All of David’s legalese.

“You want to take me on a vacation?” I mean it’s the least he could do.

“I focus on all the ways I intend to make it up to you.” YOU BETTER.

“I’d like for us to get old together. Eyes on the prize.” UM.

“I don’t want to be a woman who thinks a thing is happening that’s not happening.” SAME.

“I may or not be suggesting that we get married.” UM YOU COULD PROPOSE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, YOU SHIT. SUSAN DESERVES ROMANCE.

“Ask me like a normal person.” That’s right. Stand up for your right to a proposal!

SHE SAYS YES. Really?

“He likes holding people’s babies. He likes talking to people. He truly wants the country to be a better place.” Liv and Cyrus meet up and Cyrus goes on about how Frankie is actually a good person and he doesn’t understand why he’s losing in the polls.

“You believe he’s the real thing.” You know, I don’t think Cyrus ever talked about Fitz this way, so Liv in awe.

“No. YOU believe. You. Cyrus Beene, you are a believer.” 

“If I’ve lost my touch, I need to know.” If Frankie is so great and Cyrus has picked a good one then WHY IS HE LOSING? I know Cyrus is the devil, but he’s pretty vulnerable here, which is why Olivia has mercy on him.

“You’re not losing to Edison. You’re losing to my father.”

“So what are we doing? What’s the plan? I’m happy to go all in with whatever you’ve got going on.” Honestly, bring back the evil genius dream team.

“I’m not fighting my father because there’s no way to win.” DON’T GIVE UP OLIVIA.

“My father was command, Cyrus.” EVERYONE DRINK.

“It’s about you. What you want.” Rowan pulls Abby into one of his shady limo meetings.

“This will crush Mellie and give your gal a real shot.” Soooooo…Rowan tells Abby all about Olivia aborting Fitz’s baby because somehow that will ruin Mellie. And because he’s Satan.

“Ask yourself a simple question. What would Olivia Pope do?” Fair point, Rowan.

“Our target for destruction: Hollis Doyle, the devil you’d love to have a beer with.” Abby, Liv, Huck, and Quinn gather in the OPA conference room to go through the file on Hollis. JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.

“No matter what he does, America loves him.” YEP.

“Hollis loves him some women and women love Hollis.In all my years, not a one of them fillies ever needed an arm twist to roll in my hay.” That is how he responds to rape allegations? I want to vomit.

“His numbers went up?” I weep for fictional (and real) America.

“Books and thoughts? They don’t hurt people! Well…maybe books.” He just keeps running his mouth and counteracting everything.

“You’re looking at the front-runner for the Republican nomination.” #TeamEdison thinks they have this thing in the bag.

“You feel me, brother? This is America, you have another crop of supporters.” Edison wants to speak out against Hollis but Rowan warns him to not piss off the white people who want to vote for Edison so they can feel superior. AMERICA.

“That is an incredibly simplistic view, Rowan. Race is nothing more than a social construct.” I don’t understand how Edison, a man who deep down is a man of integrity, got roped into this mess. Also, he’s not here to be used for his race.

“You’re going to get there by making everyone forget that you are black.” THIS IS AWKWARD.

“So maybe it’s smarter to let the Republicans go after Hollis.” Edison REALLY wants to be President though.

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The Devil Went Down To Florida – Scandal Gif-Cap – Buckle Up

cat fight

Scandal Season 5, Episode 19
“Buckle Up”
Posted by Sage

Forget Team Cap or Team Iron for a few days. I wanna know if you’re Team Liv or Team Abby. A standoff between these two ladies has the potential to cause as much death and destruction as an intra-Avengers fight. Let’s see who scored the most points, shall we?

“By dawn’s early light, a political cat fight.” Susan is living.

Abby and Liv “going at each other tooth and nail.” She’s not even reporting on the candidates, really. But face it, the real good stuff is going on behind the scenes.

“I’d just as soon be shot in my face by a cannon then be tagged as a…feminist. However, I will admit that it’s hard to watch too smart, talented women tear each other apart like this.” “Hard.” Please. This translates to “thanks for the ratings, hos!”

“How late do you think you’ll be?” “Wish I knew.” Michael has questions for Cyrus and Cyrus is SO DISMISSIVE it’s actually painful.

Alex calls him, but Michael doesn’t want to help. Alex knows Cyrus was involved in shooting and hopes Michael can give him proof.

“You’re exhausted, I know, but you’ll get a day off when you’re president.” THE IRONY.

Lizzie locks David and Susan together in their hotel room so they can keep up the charade of their relationship. They are both MISERABLE.

“Governor Baker has the state of Florida on lockdown.” And we’re calling it a “bake-off,” which is fun.

“Hold on, Susan can’t drink gin.” “What?” “You told me gin makes you mean.” “Being cheated on makes me mean.” THAT’S MY GIRL.

It’s on in Florida. Every Republican candidate is headed South to kiss the ring of their powerful governor.

“She can take the stairs.” Olivia presses the “door close” button before Abby can reach the elevator. So that’s the level of petty we’re at now.

“MELLIE: MADE FOR AMERICA.” Mellie’s plane!

“It’s an internal problem.” Abby comes up with a scheme to ground Mellie and therefor Olivia. No flights can leave while Air Force One is on the runway. But what if they were dealing with some “mechanical issues”?

“What Edison Davis doesn’t have is kids.” Alex wants to use Frankie’s daughter’s cancer to score political points.

“No, but we can shame them off.” Olivia calls Air Force One out in the media.

“You can’t just lie to the FAA….go back into your office and do your job so I can do mine.” Fitz has had it. He knows the delay is fake. But Abby is not budging.

“Can I level with you? I like Susan. I think she’s smart. I think she’s personable. I don’t think she’s got what it takes to be president.” Baker blackmails Rosen. She wants him to drop an investigation into the corrupt activities of a certain company in exchange for Susan’s endorsement. Also, HELLO ANNIE POTTS.

“This is the one.” Baker picks out David’s tie.

FOUR HOURS INTO THE PLANE STAND OFF. Don’t these people have a country to run?

“Who among us hasn’t gone over the edge and killed somebody once?”

“She wants to know why you’re here when you should be saving Jake.” Quinn and Huck are still on Olivia’s mental health patrol.

“YOU SHOULD BE OVER A CLIFF WITH ME. AND YET, YOU ARE SITTING HERE, HAVING ME EXPLAIN YOUR JOB TO YOU.” Olivia hasn’t got time for amateur therapy hour.

Mellie goes to Marcus to talk out a plan to get the plane in the air. I still ship it.

“What the hell is she doing?” Mellie disembarks and walks out onto the runway, solo. The press LOSES IT.

“Wanna talk?” “I think it’s a very good idea.” Fitz is being…nice. I don’t like it.

“That crafty broad. I really underestimated her.” Color Lizzie impressed with Baker and her kickbacks.

“I took an OATH.” “We get it, you are a special snowflake.” David, are you sure you want to be crowing about your ethics right now?

“Congrats, Mellie. I’m proud of you.” “Think how proud I could make you if I could get to Florida.” (I know she’s playing him here because Mellie doesn’t give a flying fuck if Fitz approves of her or not. Anyway, well done.)

“One of them is about to go full Tonya Harding on the other. And when that happens I think we know who’s going to leave who a blubbering mess on the floor.” But who is Oksana in this scenario?

“You’re telling me you don’t know? Olivia…Andrew.” Fitz decides to tell Mellie that her campaign manager murdered her ex-lover, in front of about a dozen media outlets.

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“There is no redemption here.” – Scandal Gif-Cap – Till Death Do Us Part

Scandal Season 5, Episode 18
“Till Death Do Us Part”

Posted by Kim

This week on Scandal, we take a brief intermission from all this Election Drama to finally get to the root of Jake and Rowan’s plans. It is, to say the least, a DOOZY. Plus, we FINALLY get a deep dive into Jake Ballard and his past. To the gifs!

We open with a kid playing with his little army men listening to his parents having a violent argument. 

OMG FINALLY WE ARE GETTING JAKE’S ORIGIN STORY. 

“I’ve decided you are going to eat something today.” Liv is holed-up in her childhood bedroom post-murdering Andrew. She is not doing well, naturally.

“You’re going to want to do something with your hair. Have you looked in the mirror recently? It’s not pretty.” EXCUSE YOU JAKE.

“The only thing you should feel bad about is that you didn’t do it sooner.” I mean, Jake’s not wrong.

“She promised to do something with her hair, so we’re making progress.” I love how Jake and Rowan discuss Olivia like she isn’t even there.

THIS IS SUCH A WEIRD FAMILY. Like Rowan treats Jake like he’s his ACTUAL son and yet his son and daughter have had all the sex.

I have to take a moment to appreciate that teen Olivia loved Dead Poets Society

“We’ve moved up Jake and Vanessa’s wedding.” The Monica in me is like there is NO WAY you can move up a wedding that easily, especially one this high-profile, but OKAY Rowan. I’m sure B613 can call the caterer and let them know the change in plans.

“I know he’d love for you to be there.” Liv’s FACE. Jake’s wedding is the last place she wants to be.

“For a screw-up, you are very bright.” Jake and Rowan’s first meeting! And Jake is a troublemaker with a temper!

“This says Jake Ballard on it. My name’s Pete Harris.” MOM HOW MANY LIES HAVE I BEEN LIVING?

“I signed up to be a navy man not play make-believe with some black ops psychopaths.” Jake has Rowan’s number RIGHT AWAY, bless him.

“You’re just a loser with an anger problem.” 

“Option B makes you MY bitch.” Rowan’s whole life is about making people his bitches.

“I can turn you into somebody. A real soldier with a real future.” 

“What’s it going to be? Pete Harris or Jake Ballard? Their bitch or mine?” I’ll take option C. NO ONE’S BITCH.

“Were you followed?” “No, they are buying the entire act.” Olivia is PLAYING THEM and I am ALIVE.

“She is pretty basic.” I love Quinn’s solidarity in hating Vanessa.

“Why does Vanessa want such a big wedding? It’s not like it’s going to make Edison President.” OR IS IT?

“What’s his weakness?” “Me.” 

“Liv…talk to me.”  Olivia conveniently has a “meltdown” before Jake and Vanessa’s engagement party and Jake plays RIGHT INTO IT.

LIV’S TRIUMPH FACE WHEN HE DITCHES VANESSA TO TALK TO HER. 

“This is our wedding!” “And this is a friend!” FINALLY Vanessa sees the giant elephant in the room regarding Jake and Olivia and she calls him on it.

“I don’t know if moving up the wedding was a good idea…”

“You made a commitment, now you will follow through.” Rowan will NOT allow Jake to get cold feet.

“Shut your mouth, Charlie.” YOUNG CHARLIE YOUNG CHARLIE!

Rowan lays into Jake about his birth father and it’s HORRIBLE. “Is that the kind of dad you want?” YIKES.

“Nobody takes command, son.” Everybody take a drink!

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Okay, She Did That. – Scandal Gif-Cap – Thwack!


Scandal Season 5, Episode 17
“Thwack!”
Posted by Sage

Tonight, on a very special episode of Scandal, everything goes to hell and I scream for the last 10 minutes. But in retrospect, haven’t we been headed here for a long, long time? Let’s find out. To the gifs!

DUE TO ADULT CONTENT, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Lillian Forrester is spotted going into medical center. In a very fetching head scarf. Please tell me Fitz gave her an STD.

“You’re following her?” “You made that my job when you started dating her.” President’s jump-off gets a tail, dude. Them’s the rules.

“It’s actually worse, much worse.” Lillian isn’t pregnant, but she DOES have a secret.

Olivia wants Mellie to get Latinos behind her campaign.

“No, you never speak Spanish. Ever to anyone, please.”

Liv wants her to meet with a Cardinal Suarez to get his endorsement.

“Why are you meeting with a reporter from the Times?” Shit fuck shit fuck, it’s Andrew.

“I feel good too, being able to speak again. Especially when I have so much to say.” Andrew has been meeting with Lillian to feed her the West Angola story. You know the one. When Fitz started an actual war to rescue his mistress from her kidnappers?

“This time you’re not just up against Fitz and Cyrus and Mellie. You’re up against me: the bitch you left for dead.”

There’s a clandestine meeting in the White House kitchens. “Anyone care to cop to that?” Fitz asks about Andrew’s condition. Cyrus can’t stop giggling, because they’re all fucked. And he is not. laughing.

“Cyrus has immunity.” It was one of his conditions when he returned to Fitz’s side. He’s untouchable, and still an evil genius.

“We are not going to kill him.” “Why?” “Did you just say WHY?”

“If we kill Andrew, we’re no better than he is.” Abby, this isn’t about goodness any more.

“Mellie talks to Andrew.” “I’m sorry, is this your meeting now?” “Yes.” The next step is to destroy any paper or digital trail.

“Thank you. For coming when I called.” “You didn’t call, Abby did.” Take several seats, Fitz.

“Huck, it was you, right? You put Andrew in that coma.” Liv LOSES HER SHIT on Huck, (she’s terrified) and instructs him not to take him out now.

“What did I miss?” Oh, Marcus. You’re going to have to be a much worse person to gain entrance to this club.

“I don’t do it anymore.” “That’s what you said last time.” Lizzie corners Huck in the parking garage and gives him the file on Andrew’s whereabouts. He protests, but takes the folder anyway.

Alex shows Frankie a new ad that capitalizes on his hero moment at the state capital. Cyrus suggests they go low-key and use social media to spread it instead. Cyrus wins. Alex is not pleased.

Alex spots Tom in the news footage. But why would someone so nondescript catch his eye? FORESHADOWING.

“You want the truth, Andrew? You didn’t choose me. You chose him.” Mellie visits Andrew to try to reason with him.

She even tries to act like they’re getting back together someday.

“It still works, Mellie. Unless I disgust you.” He takes her hand and puts it under his blanket. HOW DID I NOT SEE HOW TERRIBLE HE WAS FROM THE FIRST MOMENT? I am slipping.

“The man wants to be Pope. Praising an adulteress is not how you move up in that organization.” If Andrew and Mellie’s affair gets out, she can kiss the support of any religious institutions and voters goodbye.

“MELLIE. SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP.” Liv will HANDLE THIS, GOD DAMN.

Olivia pops by Rowan’s house to ask them to watch Lillian for her. As per usual, Jake is happily munching away. “It’s nice having a friend in the NSA isn’t it?”

“Say ‘thank you.'” This dynamic is soooo weird.

“When it fails, you’ll be left for one option and one option only.” Rowan already knows what Liv is going to do, even if she can’t admit that she’s capable of it.

Huck comes into the medical center in the middle of the night and sticks Andrew with another needle.

“Is he dead? You said he wasn’t dead.”

“I never tried to kill you. I KNOW how to kill people.”

“How much will it take to get you to drop this story?” Abby and Liv kidnapped Andrew to the underground White House bunker to get the terms and conditions of his bribe.

“I’m writing a book.” “Nobody wants to read that book.” People want to hear about heroes, Liv says. And no matter how he tells this story, Andrew is not that.

“$10 million AND you represent me in the book deal.” Abby nods, giving Liv the okay to take this deal. I think the second part is more important to Andrew than the millions.

“Cardinal Suarez has been waiting for 25 minutes.” “Oh.” “Yeah…oh.” Marcus over here just trying to do his job.

Lillian has been through legal with the West Angola story. They’re good, and almost ready to publish.

“It’s the best bad idea we have.” Another kitchen clubhouse meeting. The implicated parties are agreeing to pay Andrew off.

“I’m in for my fair share,” Lizzie says. Then Cyrus pipes up, taking his wallet out of his pocket: “My fair share: $1.” Cyrus has misplaced all his fucks.

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