What I am loving about this season of Scandal so far is that every episode has focused around one character and the events that brought them towards Election night. We’re spending this week with Papa Pope and we were promised ANSWERS as to who was behind the Vargas assassination. Boy, did we get them…as well as many more questions. To the gifs!
We check in on Papa Pope 53 days before the election. I love that he makes himself breakfast on a tray every day.
A mysterious box is delivered to his door. Me, automatically:
(It’s a toy dinosaur, btw)
Eli pops in on a college lecture given by Broadway’s Tonya Pinkins and looks endeared by her.
“It’s the Predators who are the most vulnerable.” That’s not what the Jurassic Park movies taught me.
Eli regresses into his FULL SCIENCE NERD life when he banters with Sandra about Dinosaurs.
“We are a long way from grad school…” OH THEY WERE A THING.
Sandra takes Eli to a lab that would make Frankenstein jealous.
SO MUCH FLIRTING OVER SCIENCE AND DINOSAURS.
“I could use a partner.” Yessssssss.
“This is the part where you’re supposed to give me some advice.” Olivia comes to her dad about the Mellie and Marcus situation which reminds me: FREE MELLICUS 2K17 AND LET THEM BE IN LOVE.
“You’re here, pretending you don’t already know what you have to do. You know. It’s clear.”
“She wants it almost as badly as you do, but there is a difference. She is weak. She is undisciplined. She is soft.” Excuse me, SIR.
“She has never learned the hard way that love is a privilege reserved for the victor.”
“I raised a warrior!”
“Eyes on the prize, baby.” I mean even with all the Marcus Drama, Liv’s eyes have never LEFT the prize, she just has a modicum of a conscience.
“Don’t you ever get lonely?” Is that Scandal‘s version of “Don’t you think she looks tired?”
“There he is. The nerd I remember.” I feel like we’re getting a glance of the real Eli here and I am sad.
BUT WAIT THERE ARE HIDDEN CAMERAS IN THE LAB.
“Anything you need, you just give me a holler.” Remember that lady who scared the bejeezus out of Eli last week? THAT’S HER.
That benefactor that’s paying for Sandra’s dinosaurs? Doesn’t exist. The whole thing is a lie.
“I’m surrounded by children! They don’t know who Marvin Gaye is!” Eli goes to Liv’s house under the guise of raiding her record collection for the lab.
“I don’t play them, I’m busy making a President!” No time for dance parties when you are Queen-making.
“Um how long has that car been out there?” Someone is getting paranoid and it’s Eli.
Eli shows up at the lab with booze and memories about his last dig with Sandra.
“That’s not what I remember most about that trip.” Soooooo, she’s the one that got away.
“I don’t have a lot of regret in my life. I regret that.” Eli leads Sandra to a closet to make out and I totally buy that this is genuine…
Hello again, Lovers of Liberty! It’s SO good to be with you again, since the gif-cap took a bye week on episode 4. To sum up “The Belt”: prison is NO place for a former Chief of Staff, and Tom admitted that he was paid by someone to say that Cyrus ordered the hit on Frankie Vargas. Our assassin is still out there and the country still doesn’t have an incoming president. So, shall we see what Jake Ballard’s been up to this whole time?
“Not since Christ stood among the lepers has there been such excitement.” InDecision 2016 is Sally Langston’s domain, and she is currently living. (When isn’t she?) She seems to be a proponent of Mellie and Jake, but we all know she’s a fickle bitch.
Vanessa: “I feel like Jackie O. or something.” Jake: *rolls eyes*
“America is not electing Olivia Pope. They are electing Mellie Grant and Jake Ballard.” Vanessa tells Jake not to get so grumpy about his “sister” (yikes) telling him what to do and instead to keep his eye on the prize. (Kim: “Every woman on this show is Lady Macbeth.”)
“He is after all…a murderer.” Sally is reveling in Cyrus’s bad luck.
She’s also teasing a sit-down interview with picture-perfect patriot couple, Jake and Vanessa. Who hate each other.
“That’s political money.” “It’s a political lie.” Jake is so done with this campaign and his fake marriage.
Quinn wants to help Cyrus, but Liv does not want to hear it right now.
“Huck found Vanessa.” Olivia spins some yarn to Sally about Vanessa having a vicious flu and being unable to make it out of bed for the interview.
“Lady, you are nuts.” “Maybe, but I ain’t sorry.” In reality, Vanessa is drunk and disorderly and just crashed her car into a tree with a himbo bartender in the front seat. She’s also defiant af.
“Did you wake up this morning knowing you were going to ruin our lives?” “Like you give a damn what I woke up thinking.” While the Gladiators erase all evidence that Vanessa’s little “accident” ever happened, Vanessa and Jake perform a modern revival of Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?
“You say dance, the monkey dances.” Jake’s version of “playing nice” is being faux-deferential to Olivia, insisting on calling her “boss” and “m’am” until she’s about to either slap him or do him on the desk. (Pick the second one, please, it’s been so long since we’ve had Jake/Olivia hate-sex!)
“Let’s get this over with because I am late for getting away from you.” Get Liv some ointment for that burn.
“I don’t want to win, I have to win. There has to be a point.” Olivia needs to win a “clean” election to redeem her shady dealings in Defiance during Fitz’s first run. She’s a good person, that’s her thing…
“Are you sleeping with her?” Vanessa isn’t an idiot. She senses the intensity between Jake and Liv and totally calls it. So, of course, Jake tells her she’s crazy. Then he fills up her glass, because no one will take a drunk, jilted woman seriously.
“There are places we can send you, nice places.” EVERYONE IS GASLIGHTING HER, THIS POOR WOMAN.
“Give me one more reason to LAY YOU OUT, RIGHT HERE, Vanessa…I am not here for it, not today.” Wow, Liv is only a champion for other women when it suits her, huh?
“I remember because it was when the redhead took my champagne away.” Someone was texting Jake on election night who wasn’t Olivia, according to V.
Scandal Season 6, Episode 3
“Fates Worse Than Death”
Posted by Kim
When Season Six of Scandal premiered, I was SUPER bummed that we jumped over the entire Presidential Campaign to get to election night. We skipped over SO MUCH good stuff. Needless to say, I’m THRILLED with how they are toggling between the present day and the highlights of the Campaign. This week, we get to spend time with our favorite master manipulator, Cyrus Beene. TO THE GIFS.
It’s 76 Days till the Inauguration and we still don’t have an OFFICIAL President.
Okay, I get that Cyrus is the Devil but let’s take a moment to appreciate that he would be the First Openly Gay President. The ONLY white hetero man on that Presidential ballot was Jake and I just want to thank Shonda Rhimes for creating this universe.
“For the first time since election night, you seem you. I like it. Mr. President.” I love how Michael has transformed from Male Escort and marriage of convenience to Husband of the Year. Cyrus does NOT deserve him.
Abby calls Cy in FULL BossBitch mode and tells him to shut his blinds. “In 30 seconds, you no longer talk to ANYONE.” Aw yeah, the shit is about to hit the fan.
David Rosen is giving a press conference saying they are expanding the investigation into Frankie’s death. When asked if this will include Cyrus, David simply replies “Anyone and Everyone” with a dead ass “CYRUS DID IT” face.
Never one to listen to anyone, Cyrus opens his front door and finds a swarm of press and paparazzi on the front lawn.
“Now every idiot with a smart phone thinks he’s Ken Burns.”
“Charlie we are NOT making a sex tape.” COULD YOU EVEN IMAGINE.
“We need to focus!” Huck has no patience for this twitterpaited nonsense known as Charlie and Quinn.
We flashback to the night of the Vice Presidential Debate, where Cyrus DEMOLISHED Jake.
Ooooooooh Frankie seems VERY buddy buddy with Jennifer Fields aka the Campaign Volunteer who incriminated Cyrus before someone blew up her cabin.
“Who is THIS?” Cyrus’ Spidey Senses are telling him we could have another Fitz/Olivia on the Campaign Trail situation on our hands and he isn’t having it.
Back in the present, Cyrus is spiraling. “I am being set up by Olivia Pope.”
“To answer your question, no, I didn’t do it.” Michael is like “Okay, yeah, sure babe. But DIDN’T YOU?”
Lizzie Bear shows up at Cy’s back door. “I crawled across the lawn to get here. My hands touched the ground. Let me in.” BLESS.
“You are literally a snake in the grass.” I love how much they hate each other but are also the best of friends?
“Has ANYONE taken your call?” Lizzie pulls no punches and hits Cy right where it hurts. They BOTH know he’s being shut out.
“And how do you want to help YOU?” Cy knows Lizzie’s visit isn’t selfless. She wants something and what she wants is to be his Chief of Staff.
Back to the night of the VP Debate, Liv and Cyrus engage in some fake “Oh I miss you so much” banter and some backhanded compliments regarding his performance in the debate.
“I’m saying you’ve changed, you’ve evolved, you’ve grown. You’ve gotten good at this.”
“So I’m no longer the troll under the bridge who grunts and snorts, there’s lipstick on this pig now, and look at the monkey dance? That doesn’t even make sense.” Look, I’m with Cyrus here. This conversation would make my head explode.
“I was wrong. I’m saying I was wrong. Look at you. You’ve bloomed. So maybe putting yourself on Frankie’s ticket wasn’t the worst…” JUST STOP TALKING OLIVIA.
“Putting myself on the ticket? I put myself on the ticket? That’s what you think?” I meeeeeeeean, it’s what we all thought, Cyrus. BUT ALSO this is Olivia Pope’s fatal flaw: she throws around comments like this and COMPLETELY underestimates how deep they cut and how it just kicks people’s pride into overdrive. She did it with Abby and now she’s doing it with Cyrus.
“I made his policies, I hid his secrets, I ran his country. Watched the two of you grope each other like a cheap porno. And none of you ever saw me. And that’s fine. You think what you want to think of me. I certainly have all kinds of opinions about Olivia Pope.” YASSSSSS I LIVE.
“You better watch yourself.” Part of me misses when Liv and Cyrus worked TOGETHER but seeing them as adversaries is just so much more fun because they are both MASTER manipulators.
Meanwhile, Abby continues to be the best as she silently stands in judgement of Fitz for pursing the Cyrus angle. She gives him the judgy silent treatment until Fitz can’t take it anymore and I JUST LOVE how she is the only woman on this show to have never been dickmatized by him.
It’s week 2 of Scandal Season 6 and America still doesn’t have a president picked out. (Just like IRL! No president…no president at all.) Olivia is 500% sure that Cyrus ordered Frankie Vargas’s assassination, but the White House isn’t going to help her prove it. Meanwhile, Mellie has to choose between her personal life and her career when she’s presented with two attractive propositions. To the gifs!
We’re back at the RNC and Marcus is tearing up during Mellie’s acceptance speech Huck is like,”You’re embarrassing us.”
So Marcus’s feelings for Mellie run DEEP. It’s not just a sex thing. But can it also be a sex thing?
“We made this campaign together so now, let’s make history together.” She’s killing it and she knows it. The crowd goes wild.
“You cried, well I think that’s beautiful.” Mellie and Marcus have a moment over some champagne, and Olivia is watching them like a hawk.
Olivia: “Knees together.” Mellie:
Olivia comes to the Oval to play the incriminating voicemail from the dead videographer for Fitz and Abby so they’ll finally start taking Olivia’s accusations against Cyrus seriously.
Gimme that orange coat.
“Just because he killed Frankie doesn’t mean he didn’t feel bad about it.” Olivia is immune to Cyrus tears.
Meet FBI director Angela Patterson, another black woman in a position of power!
“The election is over, Liv. And so is this meeting.” Fitz threw his support behind Cyrus, so an investigation would look bad for HIM. God, Fitz is the fucking worst.
“I’ll take care of Mellie, you make sure we get that confession.” They’re going to pin the assassination on their guy whether he did it or not.
“Tweets like, “get that dumb Mexican off my television.” Their guy IS a racist dick, so they’ve got that going for them.
“It’s a less polite way of saying go have sexual intercourse with yourself.” McClintock won’t sign a confession, even though they’re offering to make a deal. He maintains that he didn’t shoot Vargas. They’re wasting their time.
“It’s Mr. McClintock as in my parents came to America before yours did David…ROSEN.” Aw, an antisemite too. How perfectly irrelevant to the current state of our government!
Olivia orders Quinn to get to what’s left of the videographer’s cabin to search for evidence.
“I’m reminded of a movie where two women drive off a cliff together.” “We’ll drink later.” Update: Mellie and Olivia are still best girlfriends.
“Get it done.” Aware that Mellie also believes Cyrus killed his running mate, Fitz makes her sit down with him to “compromise.”
“You’re gonna kill me right. I’m assuming that’s your plan.”
“I want you to join my administration as vice president on a unity ticket.” Whaaaat.
“I’m supposed to serve you? I’m suppose to allow you to just walk away with a job I have worked for, I have bled for, I was born for?” Mellie ain’t accepting no consolation prize.
“If you think the only presidential candidate left in this election is going to get down on her knees and be a good little girl for YOU, the man who tried to murder his way into the Oval, honey, you better think again.”
“I’m not the bad guy here, Mellie. Not this time, at least.” The Cyrus who cried wolf? I don’t think so.
“You can do this. You have me.” Another flashback. Marcus is teaching Mellie how to pitch so she can impress white male voters with her all-American-ness.
“I can’t think of anything better than this. Can you?” “No.” I’m reminded of another uber romantic late night baseball date…
“Show me how you grip it.” “No, no, Miss Scully, the pleasure’s all mine…”
It’s all too intimate and obvious. Mellie freaks and leaves before she can do something stupid like kiss him.
“Who’s going to walk you down the aisle?” Charlie and Quinn are dressed like FBI agents and coming through the cabin wreckage. But Charlie wants to talk wedding planning. That ceremony is gonna be lit.
They find Jennifer’s laptop, but have to hand it over to be cataloged.
Abby calls in Jake to help her get a confession out of McClintock. HI JAKE.
“Stop doing that. Coming up to me with your concern. You didn’t choose me. Nobody does.” In the present, Marcus finds Mellie after her meeting with Cyrus and checks in on her. Something SO HAPPENED.
MOONSHINE TIME. Another flashback: Mellie and Marcus watch her throw out the first pitch. She kills it, does a dirt-off-the-shoulder move. The people love her. Mellie wants to celebrate with her favorite booze.
Scandal Season 6, Episode 1
“Survival of the Fittest” Posted by Kim
Aaaaaaaaaaand we’re back. GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG.
When we last saw Scandal, Mellie had just won the Republican Nomination for President. Cyrus had pulled a fast one and gotten on the VP Ticket with Frankie Vargas. We were ready for a Battle Royale, where our fictional President would be either a woman or a Latino. It was a DREAM. And then Kerry Washington had to go and get pregnant again (CONGRATS) and our beloved Scandal was pushed to midseason, after the ACTUAL election that turned the world upside down. How will Scandal play out in this new reality we’re all living in? Let’s get to the gifs and see.
We open with Huckleberry Quinn traipsing through the woods on some sort of mission. Remember when they used to have hate sex? If I have to, so do you.
“He could have gotten to her.” How much time have we jumped? Who is he? WHO IS HER? GOD I MISSED THIS SHOW.
In typical Scandal fashion, the Cabin in the Woods explodes.
We flash back 24 hours and it’s Election Night. Team Mellie is gathered around the TV watching the returns come in. The map is an equal distribution between red and blue. Suddenly, Scandal has become a documentary and it’s TOO REAL. (Except Frankie Vargas has a moral compass.)
“I want ‘I voted’ stickers on everyone!!!”
It all comes down to California, which is hilarious because California hasn’t gone Republican since 1988. But it IS Mellie’s home state, so making it a battleground makes total sense. PS I always forget Mellie is a Republican.
“Olivia’s Business Walk is my favorite thing.” – Sage
Olivia shoots back some whiskey after talking to Charlie who apparently works here now. She knows.
Frankie wins. I get that this makes better television, but DAMN SHONDA IF I DIDN’T NEED THIS. Why why why why.
“Obviously there has been voter tampering!” Mellie goes straight to denial.
“And make sure that the entire campaign staff is aware that this race is far from over.”
“Mellie needs you.” At least Fitz recognizes this is the most important relationship on the show.
“I NEED A MINUTE.” What Fitz isn’t getting is that this loss means as much, if not more, to Olivia as it does for Mellie. And she needs a minute to deal with that before she has to be the bastion of strength for her candidate.
DON’T SEEK COMFORT FROM HIM OLIVIA.
I forgot Will’s wife from Glee was here. She’s drowning her sorrows in booze, so she can stay.
“NO WE ARE STILL IN THIS!!!” WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.
“You have to make the call now, Mellie, before too much time goes by! You wait too long, the press out there is gonna say you’re ungracious. They’re gonna label you a sore loser.” I mean that’s actually what happened IRL, like I said, this show is now a documentary.
“And because you’re a woman, half of them are gonna call you a bitch, and half of them are gonna report that you cried.” AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH THOUGH.
“You don’t go down like that. We don’t go down like that.”
“Make the damn call.”
Olivia can’t even deal with this.
Mellie, my sad queen. Bellamy Young is SO GOOD, y’all. The way she lowers her voice as she speaks to Frankie is so brilliant. WHERE ARE HER EMMY NOMINATIONS?
Olivia giving Mellie prompts for the phone call.
Mellie drinking the victory champagne in the bathtub. Gurl, same.
Mellie and Liv passing the bottle back and forth. PLEASE BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.
“You know what gets me? Cyrus. Cyrus Beene was on the winning team. Cyrus Beene gets to hold public office. Can you believe?”
The way they laugh when they say “Vice President Beene” though.
The great Ron Swanson said that awards are stupid, but they are less stupid when they go to the right people. No disrespect yet ALL the disrespect to the Emmys, but when it comes to television there are WAY shows more shows and performances than the principle awards bodies can possibly recognize. (Plus the Emmys are fucking lazy and repeatedly nominate the same people based on history and celebrity, whatever it’s fine.) The thing we love about the Feelies is that they are completely determined by YOU. We may choose the nominees but the outcome is in the hands of whatever fandom chooses to mobillize. Any of these nominees would be worthy winners. We wouldn’t pick them if we didn’t think so? So who deserves to be the Feelie champions for 2016? Read on to see who we think deserves a shot at the mantle.The rest is up to you. –Kim
Broad City Brooklyn Nine-Nine Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Jane the Virgin Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Veep
Sage: The urban adventures of Abbi and Ilana raged on in the third uproarious season of Broad City. The girls grappled with period emergencies, apartment shares websites, snooty co-ops, and clever cameos by Vanessa Williams and Tony Danza. But as ever, the best lady friendship on TV was at the heart of it all. Brooklyn Nine-Nine‘s skilled and diverse (YAY) ensemble has relaxed into each other, and the continued viability of the Jake and Amy relationship proved that Mike Schur still knows how to make a ship canon without killing our buzz. The cop comedy keeps on quietly slaying with sharp, character-based humor and unexpectedly poignant moments. Veep went into this year with a new showrunner, but the best (and at this point, most true) political comedy on TV didn’t lose its momentum or its foul-mouthed edge. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is still beyond-excellent; the scripts are still sharp enough to draw blood; and the season ended with a stroke of genius game-changer.
Kim: Last year’s champ Jane the Virgindelivered another stellar season filled with heart, ridiculous melodrama, meta commentary, and telenovela antics as Jane and Petra tackled the challenges of learning to be a new mom without completely losing their sense of self. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidttook its quirky humor to new heights as Kimmy continued to take ownership over her new life while coming to terms with her traumatic past. And lastly, Crazy Ex-Girlfriendtook all the things we love in life (musical numbers, searing feminist commentary, cute boys, body positivity) and blended them into one delicious confection of a television show that EVERYONE needs to be watching.
Kim: Never one to rest on its laurels, series nine of Doctor Whotook all sorts of creative risks, from structuring the entire series into two-parters to having one episode be a 45 minute soliloquy for Peter Capaldi to having an entire episode constructed out of “found” footage. (Well, like all risks in life, you can’t win them all.) It also punched us right in the feels as we bid a devastating goodbye (or is it a see you soon?) to Clara Oswald. After a lackluster fourth season, Scandalwas revitalized by both Olivia kicking Fitz to the curb and the political intrigue of the Presidential Campaign. (Grant/Ballard 2016, y’all!) In what turned out to be its swan song, Penny Dreadfuldeftly balanced the terror of the supernatural (DRACULA) with the terror of a more human nature (misogyny, daddy issues) all while Eva Green stood in the center of the storm, giving the bravest performance on television.
Sage: A superhero show that tackles rape culture, toxic masculinity, and survivor recovery? I devoured Jessica Jonesin a two-day binge, dazzled by its bravery and neo-noir style. Anyone who tells you that Outlander is a mere bodice ripper has been misinformed. Bodices were ripped in Season 2, thank god, but the superbly-acted genre-defying series also moved effortlessly from the salons of Paris to the battlefields of Scotland to the 1960s and took its characters to the brink yet again. UnREAL had a bit of a stumble in its sophomore outing but technically the Feelies season falls such that Season 1 can also be considered. And Season 1 of UnREAL was a doozy. Anchored by two female anti-heroes (TWO. In one show. And they’re FRIENDS.), the Lifetime drama exposed the seedy underbelly of reality TV and thus, became just as addictive.
Best Actress in a Comedy
Rachel Bloom as Rebecca Bunch, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Ilana Glazer as Ilana Wexler, Broad City Abbi Jacobson as Abbi Abrams, Broad City Ellie Kemper as Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Selina Meyer, Veep Gina Rodriguez as Jane Villanueva, Jane the Virgin
Sage: I know. It feels impossible to separate the performances of our Broad City leading ladies, so much do they rely on and compliment each other. There’s trust and fun emanating from every scene, which is probably why they can collectively take it so far. But both women deserve a personal shout-out. As the more grounded of the two, no one does crushing embarrassment and millennial self-questioning like Abbi Jacobsen. And her Ilana impression in the co-op episode was a true thing of beauty. Kooky Ilana Glazer shined in a different way this season when faced for the first time with her very best kween keeping a secret from her. It was effectively disconcerting to see the worst employee Deals! Deals! Deals! ever had to take something seriously for once. And really, what is there even left to talk about when it comes to Julia Louis-Dreyfus‘s performance on Veep? She can kill a scene with a single reaction and yet she’s the ultimate team player in a devastatingly funny ensemble. JLD may have another iconic character in her past, but petty, under-qualified Selina Meyer is the role she was born to play.
Kim: Look, I know we give the Golden Globes a lot of shit when it comes to their celebrity thirst, but they know where it’s AT when it comes to recognizing new talent in television. Last year, the award went to Gina Rodriguez (who was the Feelie winner as well), who continues to deliver a LUMINOUS performance on Jane the Virgin. There’s no other word to describe Gina’s work, really. She glows and emanates pure warmth on screen and she can flip between comedy and drama in the blink of an eye. This year the Golden Globe went to Rachel Bloom, whose work on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a masterclass in comedic shamelessness. There is no length Rachel won’t go to in order to land a gag, from throwing her heavy (and glorious) boobs into a musical number to fearlessly showing the ugly sides of Rebecca’s personality. She is a GIFT and we should all treasure her. Finally, in a lesser actress’ hands, Kimmy Schmidt would be grating and overly saccharine but Ellie Kemperbrings the perfect amount of salt to the role. She may be sweet and sunny but she’s also tough as nails when it comes to getting what she wants. Females are strong as hell, y’all.
Best Actress in a Drama
Caitriona Balfe as Claire Fraser, Outlander Jenna Coleman as Clara Oswald, Doctor Who Eva Green as Vanessa Ives, Penny Dreadful Tatiana Maslany as the Leda Clones, Orphan Black Sarah Paulson as Marcia Clark, The People vs. OJ Simpson Krysten Ritter as Jessica Jones, Jessica Jones Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope, Scandal
Kim: I’ve said it once in this post already but Eva Green‘s Vanessa Ives is one of the bravest and boldest performances I’ve EVER seen on television, this year or any other year. Vanessa is broken and beaten down by the world around her, yet she stands tall in her strength and defiance and HOPE. Eva brings a raw, almost feral quality to Vanessa, with her scratchy smoker’s rasp and her giant alien eyes that have seen horrors we can’t even imagine. I don’t understand why she hasn’t been showered with awards for the past three years, it’s a travesty. There not much that can be said about Tatiana Maslany that hasn’t been said before. She infuses each of the Leda Clones with such a distinct personality, posture, and voice that you forget that it’s ONE actress. She makes it look easy, y’all, and I would hate her if I didn’t respect her so goddamn much. After several seasons of being rendered spineless by her father and Fitzgerald Grant, Olivia Pope found her backbone again, doing what she does best (being a Political Bad Ass) and Kerry Washington flourished. Anyone who was surprised by Olivia FINALLY snapping was watching the show wrong, even if the way she snapped was shocking.
Sage: Look, I don’t understand how the Emmys can sleep at night knowing that Caitrona Balfe‘s work on Outlander is going unrecognized. I won’t say she worked the hardest of any actress this year, because this list is so stacked with BEASTS. But the show asks so much of the woman playing Claire Fraser, especially this season. We saw Jamie’s bride scheme and connive among the elite in Paris; get some practice-mothering in by nurturing Mary Hawkins and Gavroche 2 (I know that’s not his name); and say goodbye to the one, true love of her life. Once to his face and once at his grave. (Or IS it?) But Cait’s shining moment came when tragedy befell the growing Fraser family. Her baby stillborn, Claire loses herself completely in grief and shock. It was primal, her clinging to the body of her child, eyes unfocused and posture tense. These aren’t just pretty faces, you guys. Life is change and change is Doctor Who. Still, it wasn’t easy to say goodbye to Jenna Coleman, who so consistently BROUGHT it as the most polarizing, headstrong, MAGNIFICENTLY messy companion the show has ever seen. I’ve said it before, and absolutely no disrespect to Matt Smith, but Peter and Jenna are magic together. Twelve and Clara’s tragic co-dependency defined this series and the petite, wide-eyed companion got to be the strong one. If any companion deserved and needed that ending, it was Clara Oswald. Sarah effing PAULSON. I wish she wasn’t shackled to American Horror Story because she’s one of our most interesting actresses. Against all odds, the OJ show worked and Sarah turned in a desperately human performance as bullied DA Marcia Clark. I’ll never be over how she played Clark’s bafflement at the relevancy of her haircut to a double murder case or her sweet and sexy chemistry with Chris Darden. (What HAPPENED there, you guys? I need to know.) And Jessica Jones succeeded on the back of the flawless casting and compelling performance of Krysten Ritter. Who else would you get to play a whiskey-swilling, leather-jacket-wearing defender of women? Jessica may wear her damage on her sleeve, but she also allows it to motivate her. Krysten nailed the show’s moments of dark comedy (“I can’t get her to wear a dress for the life of me.” “I’ll wear one to your funeral.”), but also beautifully expressed Jessica’s sarcastic and tender friendship with Trish and her determination to move through her fear to bring Kilgrave down. And if we had some kind of stunt Feelie, rest assured she’d get it for those headboard-breaking sex scenes with Mike Colter’s Luke Cage.
Best Actor in a Comedy
Tituss Burgess as Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Billy Eichner as Billy Epstein, Difficult People Santino Fontana as Greg Serrano, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Vincent Rodriguez III as Josh Chan, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Andy Samberg as Jake Peralta, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Sage: I feel a kinship with actors who’ve made their name in part by being LOUD, and that thought includes the delightfully shrill Billy Eichner. The comedian finally gets to scale it back and be a true lead in Hulu’s Difficult People aka the life of every struggling, cynical New York artist that I know. We’re coming out hard as Team Greg on Head Over Feels, because we do love an emotionally constipated boy with a nice singing voice. But really, actual Disney prince Santino Fontana deserves the credit for selling Greg’s crippling fear of inadequacy and his good, good heart. The dude is a mess, but name me one other guy who could sweep you off your feet while bragging (in song) about giving you a UTI? Andy Samberg‘s Jake Peralta is still THE unproblematic fave. Professionally, Jake is actually one of Brooklyn’s finest, but Andy makes sure the audience knows that deep down, Jake is playing one career-long game of Cops and Robbers.
Kim: While Tituss Burgess is Emmy nominated as a Supporting Actor for his work in Kimmy Schmidt, we at Head Over Feels feel that he merits a leading actor nomination. Titus Andromedon remained a hurricane of ego and melodrama in season two but he ALSO fell in love in the sweetest and most unexpected way and it was delightful to see how it threw him for a loop. It’s no easy task to play the dream guy that the heroine is willing to overhaul her life for (just ask Felicity‘s Scott Speedman) but Vincent Rodriguez III brings such a sweetness to Josh Chan that you completely buy Rebecca being the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend who gave everything up for him. I may hold my own shipping beliefs but you can’t deny Josh’s simple goodness (and cluelessness) as he fights the undeniable pull he has towards Rebecca. The fact that Vincent looks like the lost member of the Backstreet Boys is just a bonus.
I’ve spent the last six months telling people who quit the show during the endless loop of Olitz that Scandal is THE REALNESS again. A season finale with zero deaths? No bombs? Negative extra-marital affairs? YEP. And it was still one of the best Scandal bows ever. Because as the real world is currently reminding us, elections are WACKADOO. Let’s to the gifs.
“My father wanted a grandson.” Jake is having a friendly after-dinner drink with his new father-in-law discussing Vanessa’s grandfather being kind of a dick.
“You’re the son I never thought I wanted.”
“I’m sorry sir, I’m sorry you think of me as a son, but there’s another man who thinks of me as his son too.” Jake poisons his new dad for his old one (but not the old-OLD one, who he murdered last week – try to keep up) so that Vanessa (and Jake) will get her inheritance faster.
“It’s only a few more seconds…almost there.” And he’s dead.
Tom tells Cyrus that he found Michael in Virginia with Ella. Cyrus would rather pick a VP than talk about his child.
“The man-child who’s been soiling his pants at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for the past eight years.” The Liberty Report is at the GNC shading Fitz and it is beautiful.
Cyrus asks David to be Frankie’s running mate and tells him that Frankie is an “honest, across the aisle soldier.”
“No, I mean, whom do I have to kill for you? Or imprison for you? What does the Dark Lord Master Cyrus Beene want in return for this?” David knows the drill.
“You two are cut from the same cloth.” Cyrus is really laying it on thick about Frankie’s goodness, hoping to appeal to that part of David Rosen that still thinks he’s wearing the white hat.
“Male, married, and military.” There are three possibilities for Mellie’s running mate who tick all the necessary boxes.
One of them got caught selling expired condoms.
“I was a coke dealer.” Governor Bill Wagner of Missouri is the only one who comes clean about his past, which makes it possible for OPA to scrub it down for him.
“He’s perfect.” Mellie is sitting next to Marcus on the conference room table, by the way. Their thighs are touching.
Edison comes to visit, tells Olivia what Jake said. Why Edison CARES is unclear. Didn’t Jake threaten his whole life and family and everything he stands for?
“I’m not asking you if you understand, I’m asking you what you’re gonna do about it.”
“Your father is building a war chest…you need to save him.” Huck is on Liv about climbing up Jake’s hair and rescuing him from Rowan’s tower too. But…isn’t Jake a grown-ass man?
“Mr. Beene, Eli Pope.” Rowan is at Vargas for President headquarters and he’s going to give the campaign $30 million. Cyrus is like:
“If I only went where I was welcome, I’d never leave the house.” Rowan threatens to tell Frankie what Cyrus did in Harrisburg. He wants Jake on the ticket.
Doug Morton, aka Wagner’s old coke dealing buddy, is getting moved to Albuquerque with a new ID and a nice chunk of change. So forget you saw anything.
Mellie wants Fitz to speak on opening night instead of closing night, because this sniz is about her, goddammit.
“Who knows? Maybe I’ll even end up in Vermont.” Abby looks HORRIFIED.
“My take is that…he’s a soulless dead-eyed monster who murdered the love of my life in cold blood.” Cyrus dreams about saying this to Frankie when he asks what Cyrus thinks of Jake as a VP. *blows a kiss to the sky* For James Novak.
“I think he’d be great.” GREAT. SO GREAT. Everything’s fine, we’re all fine here….how are you?
Lizzie and David do a Bartlet White House walk and talk!
“I knew it! This is great.” “Is it?” “Well, not for the country, but for you.” Lizzie is flying high about David and Frankie, because it puts her back in the game. David, she’s not so confidant about.
“I’m gonna vote for Frankie Vargas and I have a golden retriever at home named Barry Goldwater.”
David blames Lizzie for him losing Susan. “I cried. Multiple times. Tears. In my eyes.” TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN SHITTY ACTIONS, ROSEN.
“Well, I don’t want to either, but this is where we are.”
Fitz is in Abby’s office reading Liv’s medical records. I’d be shocked that a representative of the US government is spying on one of its citizens, but. Also HER BODY IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS.
“You’re a big boy Cyrus, just say no.” Cyrus tells Olivia about what he did in Harrisburg and that Rowan has it over him.
“You set that up?” “Pretty good, right?” “They were martyred for Jesus! For Political Jesus!” Cyrus is really torn up about it.
“This election should be you and me competing for the Oval.” HEAD TO HEAD. The student vs the master.
“It’s an 8,000 word love letter to himself.” Fitz’s speech for Mellie is all about Fitz. I’m about to have a heart attack and die of not-surprise.
Marcus walks Mellie to the stage to confront Fitz about it and gives her advice. KISS.
Good news, everyone. The race for the White House is back in full swing AND I saw Hamilton since the last time I did a gif-cap, so I can now use those gifs and actually know what they mean. Who is going to be in the room where it happens? Let’s get to the gifs and find out.
“This is our country. I aim to keep it that way.” Hollis is leading the primary now. Look at your life, America. Look at your choices.
“It’s like Throwback Thursday: Gladiator Reunion.” Liv and Abby unite so they can shut this madness down.
“No more campaigning against each other.” Then Liv and Abby give each other the fakest goodbyes possible.
“I need something LEGAL on Susan.” Yeah the whole not campaigning things lasts 30 seconds.
“Ceasefire get broken. We need to be protected.” Okay, so the not campaigning against each other IS on but Liv wants to be prepared for the moment it’s OFF.
“We’re gonna have a war on our hands.” #TeamSusan searches for dirt on Mellie so they can be ready too. This gon get nasty REAL quick.
“I brought lunch to you!” David continues the “Kiss Susan’s Ass Until She Forgives Me” 2016 World Tour.
“We are going to burn Hollis Doyle and his hillbilly hate to the ground.” Susan explains why she’s coming up with all sorts of neutral language about Mellie. It’s all about destroying Hollis for the moment. Then they can get back to destroying each other.
All of David’s legalese.
“You want to take me on a vacation?” I mean it’s the least he could do.
“I focus on all the ways I intend to make it up to you.” YOU BETTER.
“I’d like for us to get old together. Eyes on the prize.” UM.
“I don’t want to be a woman who thinks a thing is happening that’s not happening.” SAME.
“I may or not be suggesting that we get married.” UM YOU COULD PROPOSE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, YOU SHIT. SUSAN DESERVES ROMANCE.
“Ask me like a normal person.” That’s right. Stand up for your right to a proposal!
SHE SAYS YES. Really?
“He likes holding people’s babies. He likes talking to people. He truly wants the country to be a better place.” Liv and Cyrus meet up and Cyrus goes on about how Frankie is actually a good person and he doesn’t understand why he’s losing in the polls.
“You believe he’s the real thing.” You know, I don’t think Cyrus ever talked about Fitz this way, so Liv in awe.
“No. YOU believe. You. Cyrus Beene, you are a believer.”
“If I’ve lost my touch, I need to know.” If Frankie is so great and Cyrus has picked a good one then WHY IS HE LOSING? I know Cyrus is the devil, but he’s pretty vulnerable here, which is why Olivia has mercy on him.
“You’re not losing to Edison. You’re losing to my father.”
“So what are we doing? What’s the plan? I’m happy to go all in with whatever you’ve got going on.” Honestly, bring back the evil genius dream team.
“I’m not fighting my father because there’s no way to win.” DON’T GIVE UP OLIVIA.
“My father was command, Cyrus.” EVERYONE DRINK.
“It’s about you. What you want.” Rowan pulls Abby into one of his shady limo meetings.
“This will crush Mellie and give your gal a real shot.” Soooooo…Rowan tells Abby all about Olivia aborting Fitz’s baby because somehow that will ruin Mellie. And because he’s Satan.
“Ask yourself a simple question. What would Olivia Pope do?” Fair point, Rowan.
“Our target for destruction: Hollis Doyle, the devil you’d love to have a beer with.” Abby, Liv, Huck, and Quinn gather in the OPA conference room to go through the file on Hollis. JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.
“No matter what he does, America loves him.” YEP.
“Hollis loves him some women and women love Hollis.In all my years, not a one of them fillies ever needed an arm twist to roll in my hay.” That is how he responds to rape allegations? I want to vomit.
“His numbers went up?” I weep for fictional (and real) America.
“Books and thoughts? They don’t hurt people! Well…maybe books.” He just keeps running his mouth and counteracting everything.
“You’re looking at the front-runner for the Republican nomination.” #TeamEdison thinks they have this thing in the bag.
“You feel me, brother? This is America, you have another crop of supporters.” Edison wants to speak out against Hollis but Rowan warns him to not piss off the white people who want to vote for Edison so they can feel superior. AMERICA.
“That is an incredibly simplistic view, Rowan. Race is nothing more than a social construct.” I don’t understand how Edison, a man who deep down is a man of integrity, got roped into this mess. Also, he’s not here to be used for his race.
“You’re going to get there by making everyone forget that you are black.” THIS IS AWKWARD.
“So maybe it’s smarter to let the Republicans go after Hollis.” Edison REALLY wants to be President though.