Secret Diary Of A First Lady – Scandal Gif-Cap – The Candidate

first wives don't get mad

Scandal Season 5, Episode 11
“The Candidate”
Posted by Sage

I’m not saying it was putting Olivia and Fitz back together that sent Scandal ratings down, but it was putting Olivia and Fitz back together that sent Scandal ratings down. Fortunately, we’re all clear now that the show’s true OTP is Mellie and Olivia, or Ollie. They’re about to burn everything down, and it’s my esteemed privilege to watch them do it. Tally fucking ho.

Cyrus remembers his years with Fitz, not all fondly.

joey friends lied

“Sir, I have to go.” He says with extra strength hidden meaning because he can’t with Fitz’s drama queen personality anymore. Fitz doesn’t pick up what Cyrus is putting down.

rick and morty shit together

“That means you can cut chapter 2 and replace it with a chapter on why you stayed.” Olivia is cracking the whip on Mellie’s pre-candidacy autobiography.

wuss friends monica

Also, Mellie’s walking around OPA in her bare feet, and the familiarity is making me feel things.

“When Fitz was screwing another woman, you didn’t seem to care and we want to know why.” “Wow, you really can compartmentalize like nobody’s business.” That’s why she’s the queen, boo.

rihanna wink

Mellie eats all the snacks in the break room and then asks for more. My kind of woman.

brooklyn nine nine coffee

“It’s called multi-tasking.” Huck supposed to be fact-checking the book, but he’s watching soccer and blowing off Marcus instead.

work and drink mad men

93% of a sample think Susan is a viable Presidential candidate. “It’s a wake-up call,” Lizzie tells her. Susan’s polling strong like bull.

harry one direction strong

“If you turn your back on this, if you don’t even explore the option, you will regret it every day for the rest of your life.” Susan says no, but Lizzie isn’t letting the conversation drop. Whyever could she be so invested? I thought she didn’t even like Susan.

misfits i sense fuckery

“A profile like this is fine, when you’re out of office.” A “loaded gun” journalist wants to do an intensive article on the President and all his advisers give it the hell no. Fitz wants to do it, of course.

taraji haters

“It’s none of their business.” “You can’t SAY that.” Olivia is struggling to help Mellie understand that writing a softball memoir is worse than not writing one at all.

liam payne no

“You don’t know, do you?” “Well, do you know why you left?” Why don’t all of us forget Fitz ever happened?

no memtory gandalf

Annabeth Gish is Lillian Forrester, our intrepid writer. Here, Annabeth, have some whale songs.

whale calls the x-files

“We’re calling this our Year of Achievement.” “Year of Achievement? Catchy!”

tori kelly bored

“Mr. President, did you just compare yourself to Putin?” He actually fucking SMIRKS.

get out hot fuzz

“I want a conversation with a man. A meaningful one.” And the meaning is: I want to see you naked.

desire x-files

Mellie and Liv destroy a bunch of Chinese food, kick off their shoes, and lay around talking. “It’s nice, right?” Ladies, you’ve got work to do.

x-files checkers

“Is that the kind of reverse psychology crap you learn from your therapist?” “I don’t have a therapist.” Mellie’s FACE.

jane the virgin why are you laughing

Mellie knows about Vermont, lol.

genie jaw drop

“As far as real relationships go, you were just a blip on his radar.” Fitz can’t have a real relationship because his COLD DEAD HEART cannot feel love.

colbert oh snap

“So what’s on the agenda today?” “Down, boy.” Rosen gets on his hands and knees VERY quickly. This is not his first time.

right in the butt broad city

“That woman is my shot at the Oval!” Apparently that can wait. Lizzie is at David’s office to Lysistrata him in to convincing Susan to run. For Lizzie’s own personal gain, of course.

friday shoo

“Because that muppet is in love with you! Do some convincing, give her what she wants.” NO, DAVID. NO.

one direction no

“I wanted to see if you’d like to get out of here.” Susan is all lit up. She’s so flattered and proud to have his time. SHE IS SO PURE AND THESE MONSTERS ARE GOING TO BREAK HER.

star trek kiss

“Have you been to the top of the Washington monument?” “No. Yes.” Susan Ross is a better American than you.

creed the office us

FINALLY. GETTYSBURGER. Why hasn’t some enterprising Washington DC burger chef opened a real one yet?
how i met your mother robin burger

“Now that comes with Freedom Fries, but you’re also gonna want Union Rings.” “I thought I had to choose.” “No, Union and Freedom go together!”

brooklyn nine nine the man knows me

“You’re gonna miss it. The worst. The fights.” Cyrus won’t sit idly by while Fitz wastes the final days of his presidency. This isn’t the man he thought he was getting elected.

pretty woman mistake

“Are we done?” “I believe so, sir.” You’ve served through disaster after disaster, Cyrus. Save yourself.

liz lemon what fresh hell

Olivia comes home. Jake silently follows her to her bedroom. They’re both taking clothes off while they walk. God, I love this hate-sex arrangement.

nicki minaj wink

“This isn’t happening again.” “Yes, it is.” 

the 100 i'm in charge

And I guess we’re not mentioning the NSA thing for the time being? Not in the bedroom, at least.

Cyrus makes his move on the other grant, joining Mellie’s bitter-table-for-one. “I already have an eye on someone to run my campaign.” “Right.”

the flash joe feeling so attacked

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“Where were we? Ah…power.” – Scandal Gif-Cap “It’s Hard Out Here for a General”

Scandal Season 5, Episode 10
“It’s Hard Out Here for a General.”

Posted by Kim

WELCOME BACK GLADIATORS! After an eternal winter hiatus, Scandal has come back to us. Where were we? Oh, yes. Liv dumped Fitz’s sorry ass. That’s really all you need to know. “It’s Hard Out Here for General” picks up six months after the events of the midseason finale. Let’s get right to the gifs, shall we?

“Lovers of Liberty, we are back. Where were we? Ah…power. The enormous teat off of which this town suckles.” I love how Sally Langston is the official narrator of Scandal now.

Liv is at a family dinner with Rowan and nearby diners are sneaking pictures of her. Has she become more popular since dumping Fitz’s ass? That’s an America I can get behind.

LIV IN RED. I DIE.

“My baby had the Oval. You were running the place and he was clueless.” Rowan may be the devil but he is always ON POINT re: Fitzgerald Grant.

“He tried to make me into a First Lady.” Which, no.

“No one can ever cage me unless I let them.” And Fitz caged her for such a long long time. BRING ON LIBERATED OLIVIA POPE MY BODY IS READY.

“Jake has come home. So should you.”

“I don’t like waiting.” “Then don’t.” Are Liv and Jake fucking again???? Say yes.

OH YES THEY ARE. 

The whole thing is a power struggle. In the elevator. Against the door. On the table. Oral going BOTH ways. They are fighting to see who can get who off faster and I AM ALIVE. GOD BLESS.

Meanwhile, since he has no friends, Fitz decides to call Abby at 2 AM. 

Fitz asks Abby to accompany him to a dinner. Um. IS HE TRYING TO DATE HER? Back the fuck away.

Abby has the same “STAY AWAY DEMON” response. She lies and says Leo is sick in bed next to her. Fitz says he’ll send some soup. WHAT? Also I miss Leo.

Huck shows up at Liv’s door in the wee hours of the morning with a new client but she won’t open the door because she has a very naked Jake in her apartment.

The client is the Director of the NSA (who happens to be a woman because Shonda Rhimes). Liv promptly kicks Jake out. Thanks for the sex, Boo.

“She’s a total…” “Bad ass.” “I was going to say trailblazer but bad ass works!” Diane Peters is a GENERAL of the Air Force AND she’s the Head of the NSA, so yeah, I’d say trailblazing bad ass.

Diane’s home computer is being hacked and it’s coming from an Inside Job. Of course she has a lot of sensitive files, including a LOT about a “Project Mercury”. 

The prime suspect of the hack is her partner Billy, who is a programmer. He has also conveniently vanished.

Diane refuses to believe he had anything to do with this. She says he drops off the grid all the time and that she did extensive checks on him when they got together. “HE CHECKED OUT,” she insists.

Is Diane’s boyfriend a spy or a whistleblower? That is the question.

*Jake watches Liv drink some post-coital water* “Can I have some?” *Liv looks at him.* “No.” 

“Abby’s still a bestie right?” Cyrus calls Liv in the middle of the night to discuss our favorite ginger.

“You think she’s got it in her? Work wife? Can she handle it?” Ah, so THAT’S what Fitz is doing. He needs a new wife. And Abby is really the only option.

“Yes. Abby can handle it.” Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

“Mellie Grant is in your office.” I love how Huck always delivers this kind of news and how he looks terrified. ALSO HI MELLIE MY QUEEN.

Mellie wrote a book and she wants Liv to read it and give her thoughts. “Call it a favor.”

A reporter for the Post asks Abby about Project Mercury. She shuts him down but you see the panic in her eyes.

Abby leaves the press room and goes on a tirade. “WHAT IS PROJECT MERCURY?”

Abby’s call to Liv about the Post makes her realize that Billy is a whistleblower.

Jake meeting Fitz on the balcony. Oh green screen, I missed you.

“You think you’d find me drunk and playing Russian roulette with the nuclear codes?” Well yes, that’s what children in power do when they are pouting.

“Abby says I’m all cylinders. Whatever that means.”  STOP WITH HER.

Fitz asks Jake to look into the Project Mercury leaks. “I need someone I trust.” HOW DO THEY STILL TRUST EACH OTHER?

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“Welcome home, son.” – Scandal Gif-Cap “Baby It’s Cold Outside”

Scandal Season 5, Episode 9
“Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
Posted by Kim

This is it, Gladiators.  Our Winter Finale.  Normally, Scandal likes to close out its half-seasons with a massive cliffhanger. Not so with “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”.  This put a DELIGHTFUL period on things.  Sure, it probably won’t last long, but let me revel in this for a while.  Because it’s glorious.  TO THE GIFS.

Olivia doing First Lady Christmasy things looking like she’s dying on the inside. 

Olivia stares miserably at her wardrobe, which suddenly has a whole lot of red, as she gets ready to go to another mindless function. 

Her party dress is aces though. 

“I got punch!” Susan and David still banter and she still has a crush on him and she’s still gonna get her heart crushed, isn’t she?

“I had no idea how many holiday parties were involved.” But IS there a Yankee Swap?

Olivia is asked to solve a problem at a party.  She gets excited then her face falls because the PROBLEM is getting a cookie recipe.

MELLIE I MISSED YOU. 

Mellie reads the fine print of a bill and realizes that funding for Planned Parenthood was made “discretionary” which means they could take it away at any moment.  In other words, no fucking way.

“If there’s no guarantee, then I can’t vote for it.” #MellieForPresident2016

“This deal will pass just fine without you, Mellie.” 

“I know the schedule. You don’t need to tell me, I have a brain.” Liv enjoyed this much more when she was President instead of First Lady.

Marcus brings in Christmas Decorations because OPA needs some holiday flair. 

“We don’t decorate. We work.” Okay, Grinch Quinn. Be that way.

“Sorry I didn’t get to wrap it but it was hard to do with your hands down my pants.” 

“David, there’s no need for presents.” LizzieBear is only interested in the D.

“I have the floor.” Mellie, my queen, decides she’s going to speak up for Women’s Rights.

“How about we don’t give that little ladies organization the full amount they’re asking for?” This is everything.

“As much as I would love to get home for the holidays, I refuse to do it at the expense of women’s health.” 

MELLIE IS FILIBUSTERING.

Mellie pulls out a giant binder and starts naming off all the programs that are deemed more essential than funding to Planned Parenthood. 

“You got the underground railroad without freedom fries? Who does that?”  Rowan finds Huck’s lunch order offensive. So would I. French Fries are my reason for living.

“I may be the bad guy but the worse guys are out there.” I mean clearly he means Satan, cause you can’t get much worse than Rowan Pope.

“You are no one’s father and I am not your son!” Huck has no time for this “son” nonsense.

Mellie has to talk for 16 hours to run out the clock on the Senate Session.  No breaks. Nothing.

“The rules state you can’t bring food onto the floor. They say NOTHING about food that is already here.” That’s my Mellie, finding a loop-hole.  Also, God bless protein bars.

Liv watches Mellie go, with a little smile on her face. 

Jake spies on Russell (remember him?), who is talking to some other spy dude about how Rowan is missing. 

“I have so many sons.” So do I, Rowan, but mine are better than yours.

“There is no gratitude in parenting. I don’t know why we do it.” Me either, which is why I don’t.

“YES THERE YOU ARE! THE SON I KNOW!” Dude, Huck is the last person I would taunt about his family tragedy. He will end you.  Which is exactly what Rowan wants.

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It Must Be Nice, It Must Be Nice To Have Olivia On Your Side – Scandal Gif-Cap – “Rasputin”

Scandal Season 5, Episode 8
“Rasputin”
Posted by Sage

I love it when Scandal makes up countries. It makes it feel even more like an AU version of our own international relationships. The AO3 tags for this episode would include “hat porn,” “closet sex,” “secret gay affair,” and of course, “bondage.” (HI ROWAN.) This is the last episode before the much touted winter finale, so let’s get to the gifs.

“Tell me it’s not true, Liv.” The episode kicks off with an obvious flash-forward: Olivia in a cold interrogation cell and Fitz hoping that her being there is all one big misunderstanding. It never is though, is it?

“A disarmament deal between the United States and the Republic of Bandar.” Fitz DOES do some running of the country between bitching and moaning sessions. His administration is about to end years of sanctions against a middle eastern nation. It would be a feather in the cap of the whole Grant team.

“The biggest push for peace since the toppling of the Berlin Wall.” Hyperbole is the BEST.

“I’m always happy for a chance to see Miss Pope.” Cyrus worries that the Bandarians(?) will shun Olivia as a whore, but they already love her because guess what, she’s handled some things for them.

“The president gets all the credit while we do all the work.” Susan’s dropping some truth bombs and it’s delicious.

“Kill me now. Do not translate that.” LizzieBear clearly thinks that working with Susan is below her.

“But I need your help…I would like to defect, can you help me?” The interpreter for the minister of energy slips in some cries for help when he’s translating for Olivia. She takes the Minister to meet the chef (also from Bandar) and the translator tells her that he will give her the location of a secret nuclear facility if she can get him asylum.

“He didn’t looked smitten, he looked scared.” Navid isn’t dazzled by the “blue jeans and the mini skirts” as Cy suggests. Fitz okays it for OPA to handle digging into Navid and his claim.

“I’m okay, Red. We’re living in a new world, Red. A world where Olivia Pope is judge, jury, and executioner.”

“If you go back on the deal, I’m going to tell Fitz what we did. What you did.” Mellie pops into the episode to threaten Liv about their misguided girl plan to free Rowan.

“Helen of Troy…hello.” Oh, TOM. Get some new jokes.

“I’m being hunted, Olivia…Ballard is the least of my concerns.” Look who’s back, with his old-school soul soundtrack.

“You should be afraid.” “Why?” “Because am afraid.” Rowan claims that if the people who’re looking to take him out succeed, Olivia loses her protection. And she’ll just be ceding control to an organization worse than B6-13.

“Oh, Olivia. I take tremendous pride in who you have become.”

Huck has never heard of Lazarus One. But he likes their mission statement: kill Rowan Pope.

“FASTER.” NOT MY TEMPO, Marcus.

“Any chance this guy’s a spy?” Huck finds “no chatter” indicating that Navid’s intentions are anything but pure.

Navid gets sick at a meeting, and ends up safe in a hospital bed. Olivia had given him a pill, like some haute couture Friar Lawrence.

“If this checks out, you’ll have your asylum.” America! Fuck yeah!

“You want me to put my foot in my mouth.” “Yes, Susan, I do.” “Well why didn’t you say so?”

“But what do I know, I’m just a woman.” The President of Bandar steps away from the negotiation, just as Grant hoped he would. Bless Susan Ross for never, ever putting her own ego over serving the country.

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“A criminal, a whore, an idiot, and a liar.” – Scandal Gif-Cap

Scandal Season 5, Episode 5
“You Got Served”

Posted by Kim

FITZ MAY BE IMPEACHED!!!! Is our long (fictional) national nightmare finally over?  Let’s get right to the gifs to find out.

Cyrus is in his jammies, surrounded by booze and junk food, watching telly.  Basically living my dream life.

To remind us that he still exist, Michael appears, looking as handsome as ever.  He tries not to judge Cyrus’ coach potatoness by saying he knows this is his Super Bowl.

“The Super Bowl happens every year. This is the moon landing!”

“This is the day the Lord has made…he’s made it for me!”

Footage of Fitz and Liv waltzing around together is intercut with the Judiciary Committee announcing their investigation. 

“I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!” Reminder that Fitz is a CHILD.

“Do you know what an impeachable offense is? You don’t need to spend time thinking about that because you don’t.”  David has no time for this shit.

“This isn’t a normal trial, Mr. President, it’s a political trial.” 

“It won’t just cost you your presidency, they will put you in jail.” 

Liv calls Abby, who can’t talk to her about anything.  “I need a loan.” Say what?

HI LEO I MISSED YOU!!!!

“Thing 1 and Thing 2 and a new addition to the bestiary!” Can we start a petition for Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce to be canceled so Paul Adelstein can join this show full-time because I LOVE HIM.

“You’re his Monica, his Marilyn.”

“We are going to spin it into the greatest romance ever told.” Well…second greatest. #LarryIsReal

Liv, however, refuses to sell her romance.  “What else you got, Leo?”

Olivia Pope, Woman of the People.

“That’s the thing about the great ones, they perform no matter what utter crap they are dealt.” 

Leo goes thru Liv’s wardrobe. “If you cannot buy it from the mall, you can’t wear it out of the house.”

“Where’s all her food?” “You mean her wine and popcorn?” Huck has been so on point this season.

“Of course not you’re too busy getting your freak on with the prez.” 

Leo sends Liv out to the grocery store in schlubby clothes. 

“They need to be told by someone, someone they respect, that you are in fact human.” 

“WEIRDOS! FOCUS!” 

HI EDISON HOW YOU LIVIN’? Remember when he and Liv were a thing? 

“You look uncomfortable.” “Coming here was not easy.” 

“Should I feel sorry for you?”

“A criminal, a whore, an idiot and a liar.” That sounds like the beginning of a very good joke.

“You implied that I was clinically insane for suggesting that you were screwing the President.” 

“If you want me to help you, you’re going to be honest with me.” 

“You tried to make a fool of me for seeing you exactly as you are.” 

“I pray for her.” Edison, God love him, sells the CRAP out of this.

Cyrus LAUGHING with popcorn at the interview.

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“She’ll be a household name, mark my words.” – Scandal Gif-Cap

what are you doing scandal

Scandal Season 5, Episode 4
“Dog-Whistle Politics”
Posted by Sage

The White House is still in fallout mode after Olivia admitted publicly to her affair with the President. Shonda Rhimes uses this plot to expose media tactics and coded language used to draw lines in the sand and prod the American people to choose sides, get angry, and (mostly) keep watching. Scandal is at is best when it’s imitating life, so let’s get to the gifs!

“Who are you working with?…What happened at the Louvre was Larzarus 1?” You mean this, Jake? I think it could have been planned a smidge better.

“He once told a colleague that he was on a quest to do the impossible: to raise an African American girl who felt fully entitled to own the world as much as any white man.” Can’t fault Papa Pope’s intentions, can you?

“It’s as if you’ve learned nothing from me. I think I’ve failed with you.” Papa is playing the disappointed father role with Jake, but Jake is unmoved.

“Is Olivia Pope still seeking to fulfill her father’s dream?” Some ho is telling Olivia’s life story on TV and it’s all such condescending yellow journalism, I want to reach into my TV and then into Olivia’s TV and pull her hair.

“Boy, I am always free. No one will ever cage me.” Demon!

“But you don’t have a date with Layla, Marcus, you have a date with me.” I mean, finally. The Pope & Associates offices were looking deserted.

“You won’t just be some corporate spinner, you’ll be one of us.” You may remember Marcus from such scandals as boning the mayor’s wife. He’s also a friend of Clarence Parker’s and helped the family push the Brandon Bill.

one of us

“And I am not crazy. I’m a gladiator in a suit…Do you want to be a gladiator in a suit?” “…No.” Marcus knows a lost cause when he sees it.

“Liv’s blindfolded on her knees in front of a firing squad and we’re doing nothing.” Fitz tries to fire Abby AGAIN, but Lizzy Bear won’t let him.

“I’m not asking you to work for free, I’m asking you to work for your life.” And for a salary, hopefully?

“Did you just call me an idiot?” You want to hear how women really feel about you, Fitz, give me a call.

“I do not need to be rescued. I find it offensive.” Why are they having this personal conversation in front of all of Fitz’s advisers though?

“My dream job? The White House. I want to work there.” The TV documentary includes a clip of Olivia as a young woman, setting her sights on some lofty goals. Then it implies she slept her way there.

“I know the drill.” Huck and Quinn help Liv go into hiding, going so far as to rent the apartment across from hers so that no one can monitor her from there again.

“Whatever’s going down, you two should be able to handle it. Understood?” Liv doesn’t want any rookies joining the team in her absence. Huckleberry Quinn have got to de-weird themselves enough to keep the client list happy.

“She’s got more kills than you and me put together. She’s legend. Oh, and she’s hot. Like, sexy hot. I’ve been working on her for years.” Jake and Charlie are on a man-trip to Paris to meet their European contact, Elise. Well, now she’s Elise.

“Jake? That’s what you’re calling yourself? Well, Jake. Deal is off.” She knows Jake, and shuts down the second she sees his face. What happened?

“This isn’t about Republicans and Democrats. This is about peckers. Too many peckers.” This lady for president.

“They wanna impeach them. All the women of the Senate.”

“They wanna impeach a man because all they ever hear is that women are controlled by their hormones but what is more hormonal than a man who can’t keep it in his damn pants? They wanna impeach a man because he broke his vows and disturbed the office of the presidency with his libido and the only person who gets raked over the coals is the woman he screwed.”

“This is it. Your chance. Either you go after your husband now and claim the White House for your own or you do nothing and be that sad, well-meaning freshmen senator sitting on that do-nothing sub-committee…” YES, Cyrus. I don’t care if this is for your own selfish vendetta, you get your boss heated enough to take Fitz down.

“Cream? Where do you guys keep the cream?” Marcus reconsidered the offer and is now on board at OPA as their media mouthpiece. Get the man some cream.

“Eventually we both know you’re going to let me in because you always let me in.” Jake shows up to Elise’s door. They keep up use of their new codes names, even when they’re alone.

“I was late but I was there.” “I waited.” Some time in the past, they were supposed to meet each other at Grand Central to escape their lives, but Elise didn’t show up. The nightmare. The exquisite tragedy. The Susan Heyward of it all.”

“I thought you were dead…I thought…I grieved…I really loved being married to you.” Mar-wha?

Senator Gibson is a Republican who wants Fitz to meet with a group from the party to answer some questions about the affair and how it affected his service.

“How do we lose a whole boy?” Fitz puts his human mask on to play with Teddy, one of those kids who never once factored in to the decisions he’s made.

“If you don’t hurt me, I won’t hurt you. Okay?” Mellie softens to see them together; she won’t be the one to destroy the father of her children. This time.

“Keep an eye on her. She’ll be a household name. Mark my words.” Past Cyrus praises Olivia, and do you think Kerry Washington and Jeff Perry will get a scene together this season?

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“Think like a champion.” – Scandal Gif-Cap

Scandal Season 5, Episode 3
“Paris is Burning”
Posted by Kim

I love when episodes take place as if they were in real-time.  This week on Scandal, we have Abby Whelen and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day as Abby desperately tries to keep the White House running after Olivia outs herself to the press as Fitz’s mistress.  My notes for my initial watch of this episode were well over a thousand words, so a LOT of shit went down.  Let’s get right to it, shall we?  Fasten your seat belts, this is a long gif-cap.

Abby scurrying around in a panic after Olivia’s admission to the press.  She does a LOT of scurrying in this episode.  In power heels, no less.

“Shut it down or get fired, people.” Abby is NOT fucking around here.

Meanwhile, Fitz and Mellie are bullshitting their way through their “We’re totally happy” interview. 

 
Abby ditches her heels because they are slowing her down. 

“Olivia has been an important friend to us.” Mellie’s buzzing.

Abby runs in and stops the interview because she can’t allow this farce to be released now. 

Fitz and Mellie see Liv on TV.  Mellie is enraged (“Yes? YES?!”) while Fitz bites back a grin. 

LizzyBear rallies the staff.  “The word of the day is SILENCE.” 

“Oh look, it’s the girl who can’t shut her legs or her mouth.” 

“We can spin this…” aka “You have several options. They are all terrible, but you have them.”

“I am not saying ANY of that.” Of COURSE Fitz chooses to dig his heels in and throw a tantrum.

“We cannot lie, we have no choice.” 

“We will inform you when it’s time to do the interview.” Mellie is shoved out of the room like SHE’S the one who did something wrong and I just really am ready for her to go Daenerys Targaryen on their asses.

“There are other options to consider.  You cast me as the trashy home wrecker.” 

“I loved what you said.”  Fitz and Liv smile and make out like they haven’t just caused a National Scandal.

“I can’t imagine what else you must be feeling.” Mellie just rewards Abby with a stony glare and I LOVE IT.

“Hi there, Red.” CYRUS IS HERE CYRUS IS HERE CYRUS IS HERE.

“Oh crap.” This is the only proper response to this development, really.

“The Junior Senator of the great state of Virginia has asked me to serve.” THIS IS EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED.

“There are going to be some things we would like in return.” Cyrus/Mellie 2016, y’all.

“What do you want?” “I want to destroy Olivia Pope.” Hell hath no fury like Mellie Grant scorned.

“This is a very important moment, don’t waste it being human.” Good old Cy, always thinking bigger.

“Think like a champion. Think like a warrior.” 

“Tell me what the inscription on your monument will be when history books glorify you.” GOOD GOD I MISSED CYRUS AND HIS ARIAS.

“What do you want?” “I WANT THE OVAL.” OMG IT’S HAPPENING.

“She’ll get nothing and she’ll like it.” Honestly, Fitz, I don’t know how you think you’re in any position to not give Mellie EXACTLY what she wants.

“You can’t be involved.” I do mildly feel bad that LizzyBear has been tasked to babysit Fitz even though that’s technically in her job description.

“Move now or you’re fired.” Honestly, Fitz, WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO? JUST SHUT UP AND LET THE PROFESSIONALS WORK. 

“So fire me. I am doing my JOB, Sir.” This is the most I have ever liked LizzyBear, who is tired of his shit.

Back at the Pope and Associates office, Quinn is fielding calls and Huck is plugging away on the computer. 

“You were going to turn off the internet?” “Oh no, I was going to erase the internet.” THAT is the Huck we fell in love with, y’all.  Not the creepy as fuck super tortured Huck. MORE OF THAT PLEASE, SHOW.

Jake comes in and unplugs all the technology. 

“We’re just going to sit here and do nothing.” Jake tells Huckleberry Quinn that Olivia has no grand plan for them so what’s the point.

“My plan is to sit here and drink the majority of this vodka, get remarkably wasted, and watch the world end.” AKA just a typical day.

“First of all, the President will support the Senator’s bid for the White House. That doesn’t mean waving a few pom-poms and phoning in a couple of interviews on the Sunday circuit. It means that, politically, the President is her bitch. He will be by her side on the trail, at the click of her ruby-red heels. He will fill her collection plate as many times as she asks. Got it?” 

Mellie’s other demand is that Fitz and Liv can’t go to public functions together. “Not until Senator Mellie Grant becomes President Mellie Grant.”

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Ain’t Life Grand? – Scandal Gif-Cap

this is absurd

Scandal Season 4, Episode 22
“You Can’t Take Command”
Posted by Sage

A thousand apologies for leaving you alone with season 4’s penultimate outing, Gladiators. But we’re back with another rollercoaster of a Scandal finale. Shondaland gave us plenty of twists and turns to mull over all summer, plus the toxic reunion I’ve been dreading. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

“Please! I am not Mr. Bainbridge…to you…” I see what you did there, Rowan.

lord of the underworld

“You have set quite an example for my daughter, I will tell you that.” This is so twisted and cruel. I love it.

filch we are in trouble

“Does it interest you?” Rowan/Mr. Bainbridge hands Mellie a folder of photos of Mellie and Andrew bonin’, plus the particulars of Fitz’s participation in Remington.

ron not interested

“You don’t ask me who I am, Mrs. Grant. You ask me what I need.”

i own you hercules

“You’ll go down. Your husband will go down. It will be a bloodbath.” Rowan needs a list of names. Mellie seems ready to comply.

being realistic

Jake is about to testify about Remington in the B6-13 hearing. Good luck with that, you gorgeous target.

good idea gosling

“You tell the truth. You tell the whole truth. No matter what happens, no matter who gets hurt.” I just…do they really think they’re going to win this?

same mistake breaking bad

“Susan is a national treasure.” TRUE. And of course Liv realized that before anyone else.

you saw me princess diaries

“And congratulations on the Brandon bill. That…is the man I voted for.” Congratulations on doing your job that one time in eight goddamn years.

we're the bestest harry

The entire grand jury (and their bus driver) has been executed. That was the list of names that Mellie gave Rowan.

take a look around

“Normally, I’d be all white hat, woo-hoo. But I got a call from Oregon. The court stenographer, Faye? That’s her name, Faye. She knits hideous scarves that I have to wear so I don’t hurt her feelings. Faye was killed by a hit and run driver while out walking her dog. Except she doesn’t have a dog.” Everyone involved in this trial is at risk or already dead. Message, received.

brooklyn break those

“And while I live for justice, I don’t wanna die for it.” What kind of attitude is that, Rosen??

disney don't  be a wuss

“I need you to keep your mouth shut, can you do that?” Lizzy Bear is the only other person on the planet besides Mellie and Rowan who knows the role Mellie played in the murder of the jurors.

pay you to stop talking sleepy

“Cyrus? I killed those grand jurors.” Until she tells Cyrus, that is. The guilt, my friends. She is weighing on our Mellie.

joey i'm sorry

“No, DON’T hug me. I’m sick of being comforted. I’m sick of fighting and losing.” “Don’t Touch Me” is a complete and separate emotion.

ugly child

“I go where you go.” “It doesn’t matter where I go or what I do. I’m still trapped. I’m still his prisoner.” Liv tells Jake that she wants Rowan dead. She’s had enough of looking over her shoulder.

going mad simon firefly

“You got that ‘I been in the hole’ look all on your face.” Olivia goes to see her mom for help.

always good looking

“Did you father and I not tell you you were special enough when you were little? Did we not give you enough hugs?” Marie says Olivia needs to come back down from her “uppity world.”

don't be a hater dear ahs

“Are you going to tell your teammate you added slaughter to your resume?” Mellie did it for THEM though. HOW IS IT WORSE THAN ANYTHING FITZ AND CYRUS HAVE DONE? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

i'm so confused 21 jump street

“I’ll take care of it.” “You will?” “I will.” I doubt it.

pretending to look busy lou

“Forgive me, Miss Pope. But that must be one of the most preposterous things I’ve ever heard.” Jake and Liv meet with the director of the FBI to talk B6-13. Jake takes credit for all their work.

it crowd jennifer laughing

“B6-13 is real. And I think from that look in your eye that you already knew that.”

six feet under full of shit

Rowan tells Cyrus that he’s done him favors. Not killing Rosen was one. Thanks for that at least, you monster.

i'm happy oliver

“Well, it stops now. I am having this Rowan arrested brought in and brought down. I won’t have it.” I appreciate this lady’s tenacity, but…

office how it works

“Honey, I’m gonna call you honey because I can’t remember your first name and I don’t care: Honey, you wanna be reasonable about this. Because a shadow intelligence organization operating quite happily in power and in secrets for decades inside the FBI, the CIA and the NSA, if there was such a thing, well that would be like a sleeping lion. And isn’t it safer to tiptoe around the lion? What do you think happens when you poke the lion? Whose face does the lion rip off first? I think it rips off Honey’s face first.” CYRUS.

community excuse me

Director Lowery’s people grabs Jake and Liv. They throw them in jail.

miss piggy opening bars

“Mostly though, I’d like to thank my wife….and maybe if you’re as flawed a person as I am, you start taking them for granted.” Fitz gives a toast to Mellie’s victory. He’s all over her dick right now, because Fitz likes to be associated with winners.

million teddy bears parks

“Losing a child. Most people never recover from that. It destroys families, upends marriages. Not ours. Her love, her friendship means anything. As a team, we’ve never been stronger. So please, join me in raising a glass. To my best friend.” 

2015 it's time

“Rosen, why would I fire you? You’re the Attorney General. MY Attorney General.” Cyrus’s voice is all soft and scary. Run, David, run.

bridesmaids ran as fast

“With you, David, I already know your pressure point. You only have one: Abby.” *Record scratch*

aziz confused

P.S. WHERE IS LEO.

“Though, if something were to happen to her. Suicide. Aneurysm. Car accident.” “You can’t threaten me like that.” “Actually, I can.” LEAVE RED ALONE 2K15.

don't touch horse head

“You want me to recant?” “On signing this document, you will be free to leave this room.” Rosen visits Jake and Liv in prison. He forces them to sign a document stating that they’ll disavow all knowledge of B6-13.

i thought we were friends rdj

“So much for being the good guys, huh, Rosen?”

human world it's a mess

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