Smash
Season 2, Episode 5: The Read-Through
– Posted by Sage
The ratings are in the crapper, #SmashBash brothers and sisters. And I fear we won’t have this ludicrous show to kick around for much longer. So let’s enjoy it while we can, huh?
Eileen isn’t allowed to attend the reading of the new Bombshell draft. And they’re trying to make me care. Do I care?
Tom introduces uber-popular Broadway director Derek to the Belasco like Derek’s never set foot in a Broadway house.
THE BORLE IS FINALLY ALLOWED TO SING.
“Public Relations” is another great faux-Broadway number. At least Smash gets the songs right most of the time.
Tom doesn’t even know if his new song is in Julia’s latest draft? Julia is getting awfully cozy with her ~nemesis.~
“Usually you’re a complete wreck before a reading – what gives?” Probably all the sex.
“You know, in the 21st century, you can call a guy.” Ugh, this generic “free spirit” roommate.
Check out Ivy in THAT DRESS.
Is that the lawyer from The Wire?
Sean Hayes!
These ads in Times Square look super-imposed. Isn’t Chicago Fire an NBC show? Hmmmm…
“Tom, i promise, you have no reason to feel jealous.” And Tom is just like:
Jon Robin Baitz makes an appearance as Tom’s ex. Why did he agree to this? Did Josh Safran get him drunk?
“There he was, standing in the wings with a draft of his own.” JON ROBIN BAITZ, YOU KNOW WHAT A DRAMATURG IS, I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU ARE CONTRIBUTING TO THIS LIE.
And now to Brooklyn Jimmy’s Greenpoint loft. He’s got the Cafe Bustelo brewing on the stove because, you know, that’s how we do in Bk.
Bringing the wifebeater back, I see.
A half-naked blonde emerges from Brooklyn Jimmy’s loft. Poor wittle Kawen looks distressed. Heh.
Ivy’s bod is courtesy of Shake Shack? Yes!
“You’re having a read-through with a book you didn’t read?” How…how do these people think that theater works?
“Script doctors are not to be trusted.”
“Look at that, finished.” “Just the first act?” Do these collaborators talk to each other or what? No wonder their final products are shit.
“A tragedy? What a challenge.” I buy that big movie stars can be allotted creative license. But is this director blind and deaf? Why is Ivy the only person who’s speaking up?
Karen starts to sing about her unrequited love for Brooklyn Jimmy, and suddenly the apartment is awash in what I think is the Valencia filter. You know, because it’s Greenpoint and we love Instagram.
Karen proceeds to float around the apartment, wallowing in Deathcab’s “Some Boys.” Uggggghhh.
Nikki Blonsky is alive?
“Why’d you change the title? I really liked Bombshell.”
“There is beer and water in the kitchen.”
Yesss, Wesley Taylor and Kyle. Let’s do this.
“If anyone has a problem with that, they can take me out in handcuffs.” This is New York. Cops have better things to do than monitor the audience of the Bombshell reading. Relax.
Terry Falls invites his castmates to “find the funny” in Les Liaisons dangereuses.
“If Jerry has another script, it’s not mine.” “I’m so confused.” ME TOO. What is going on?
Karen is staring at Brooklyn Jimmy like he’s Ryan Gosling on a white horse. Girl…
Hitlist is about characters named Jesse and Amanda. Dialogue includes: “I’m back and I’m sick, Help me.” Umm…
Wesley Taylor is like, “Yeah, it’s not good, so…” But Brooklyn Jimmy is like:
Bombshell reading!
Ah, fart noise acting. Poor Sean Hayes.
“Get ready, darling. If we get this right, you’ll win every award in town.”
“It’s over isn’t it?” Because your first private reading in your apartment wasn’t successful?
“If you’re not scared, the work won’t be good.” Again, Ivy is the only one talking any sense here.
“You and Jimmy do, you’ve had it from birth.” Excuse me while I….
I can’t even remember why Nick is in prison.
“You really care about Kyle, don’t you?” They’re only collaborators, roommates, and best friends, so….
“You’re not as bad a guy as you try to seem.” But Brooklyn Jimmy is just like, you guys keep pronouncing my band name wrong!
“She’s a really special person.”
And now we’re comparing Bombshell to Sunday in the Park with George.
“That’s the workshop draft from seven months ago.”Don’t fire Julia! She needs cash for merlot and scarves.
GOOD CHRIST, THAT HIGH WAISTED SKIRT.
“I’ve decided to go off my meds.”
Just drag a wooden plank and a dead plant onto an empty roof = instant Brooklyn.
And again with the Jonathan Larson invocations. No.
And it’s really just a walk in the park for Jimmy and Kyle to write a sung-through musical!
“Kyle told me about your situation, I didn’t know.” Poor Kyle – bitter, table for one.
“You’re pretty cool.” You both have terrible taste.
“Well, since it’s up to me.” And there’s the cliffhanger no one asked for.
Sigh. And another obstacle in the exhausting process of producing Bombshell. If a half-finished musical with a boring leading lady falls apart in the middle of the forest and NBC isn’t there to film it, does anyone care?
I can’t even believe I am critiquing the plot of “Smash”, but I can’t let this go: Someone on this show thought, “You know where we should put our big, splashy musical? The one that has a plane landing on stage? The Belasco, home of big splashy musicals like ‘Passing Strange’ and ‘James Joyce’s The Dead.'” (And to be fair, “Dracula,” but that just proves my point.) Whatever, “Smash.”
YES YES YES. Because there is so much ROOM in the Belasco for a big splashy musical. They should just say “this is the one theatre that was dark when we needed to film in a Broadway House.” 😉 -K
He was describing it like it was the Palace. That place is minuscule. The only thing smaller than the stage is the space where your knees are supposed to go. Oh, Smash.–S