Join us as we live blog TV’s big night! Will Breaking Bad dethrone Homeland as TV’s best drama? Will Jon Hamm FINALLY win an Emmy for playing Don Draper (we’re guessing no)? Will Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey take home trophies for the farewell season of 30 Rock or will Amy Poehler FINALLY win for playing Leslie Knope? Will we be able to avoid being spoiled on the penultimate episode of Breaking Bad, which we will be watching as soon as the show is done? And just how much will host Neil Patrick Harris sing and dance? Join us at 8/7C to find out!
00.06
And with that we say good night! Stay tuned for Maggie’s fashion post!
00.01
SPOTLIGHT WITH THE MOST WELCOME UPSET OF THE NIGHT. #ProtectTheChildrn
23.52
AT LAST LEO’S QUEST IS OVER. NOW MAKE A NORMAL NOT BAITY MOVIE.
23.47
YAY BRIE.
23.37
NO NO NO NO NO NO.
23.28
23.24
Ennoi Morricone takes the Score Oscar for The Hateful Eight. You hire the best, you get the best.
23.11
VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN WANTS YOU TO INSIST ON CONSENT.
23.05
Accidental maternal feelings because of Tremblay and Attah.
22.54
Basically, Academy.
22.43
RIP Amy.
22.38
Friendly reminder that Louis CK could get it.
22.31
Mark Rylance is a consummate professional in every way. Cheers to a Best Supporting Actor winner.
22.12
Inside Out wins the Animated Feature award for making us feel ALL THE THINGS.
22.11
Important Information: Kate Winslet likes Tagalongs. Christian Bale and Matt Damon go for the Thin Mints.
22.00
Oh, Marshmallow. I miss you.
21.57
Ex Machina out of nowhere with the Visual Effects award.
21.53
Kim: “I want to go to THAT party. It’s a bunch of crazy fuckin’ Australians.” Mad Max wins Sound Mixing.
21.49
SURPRISE: MAD MAX for Sound Editing. The most well-made movie of the year, PER THE ACADEMY.
21.44
“The Minions are on their way….”
Sage:
21.41
ANOTHER WOMAN. Mad Max does it again with Film Editing. Fuck fucking yes.
21.36
Hey guess the fuck what. Michael B. Jordan could get it.
21.29
JGarns looking AMAZING. Suck it Ben.
21.27
NOT GETTING TIRED OF HEARING MAD MAX YET. Also, look: more women for hair and make-up.
21.23
CLEANING UP. You do you, Mad Max. Production Design is another feather in that cap.
21.22
LOOK AT THESE TWO.
21.21
Mad Max gets the first OF HOPEFULLY MANY awards for Costume Design. OH WHAT A LOVELY DAY.
21.12
Alicia is VERY good BUT SORRY IT IS A LEADING ROLE AND I CAN’T GET OVER THAT.
21.05
WORST BOND THEME EVER THOUGH.
21.03
That’s exactly James Bonds’ thing, Sarah.
20.53
Brooklyn isn’t going to win anything tonight, but I’m posting this because THIS MOVIE CHANGED ME. Thank you for your time.
20.52
Both Room and Brooklyn and Carol were better than this but GOD FORBID A LADY PICTURE WIN.
20.47
WOULD THAT THIS MOVIE WOULD WIN BEST PICTURE TONIGHT.
20.45
Chris Rock pokes fun at #AskHerMore and we’re like:
20.41
SORORITY RACIST. We’re dying.
20.38
Guys I just. Chris Rock’s monologue…I get it, but I don’t get it?
20.35
“Y’all would be watching Neil Patrick Harris right now.” Where is the lie?
20.32
GOD I LOVE MOVIE MONTAGES.
20.16
Okay, we’re switching over to our blog for the ceremony! Join us there.
20.12
GOD CHRIS EVANS.
20.08
KATE AND LEO ON THE RED CARPET.
20.03
Leo’s victory lap begi
ns.
19.56
Gaga speaking up for survivors of Sexual Violence. Looking fucking fierce.
19.54
Reminder that Sly Stallone is the Italian Jerry Gergich.
19.48
“Chris Rock needs no advice from me, because he’s the greatest living stand-up comedian.” – Tina Fey
19.48
TINA LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING.
19.37
“It wasn’t The Revenant.” – Matty Damon
19.34
I think KWash is wearing one of Clooney’s Batsuits?
19.25
DINNER IS HERE. We ordered Indian tonight, jealous?
19.17
Switched to ABC because we live for Robin Roberts.
19.14
Why does Rooney Mara insist on looking like this?
19.09
Sophie Turner is giving us classic Hollywood REALNESS.
19.07
COMMON LOOKING FINE AS PER ALWAYS.
19.00
Eddie Redmayne always in velvet, out here looking like The Ladies Man.
(It’s not disgusting, we love it.)
18.58
SAOIRSE!!! YOU BEAUTIFUL CLOVER YOU LOOK AMAZING. PLEASE DATE NIALL HORAN.
18.55
Kim’s mom, re: Olivia Wilde: “It looks like there are two Kotex covering her boobs.”
She’s not wrong.
18.46
PRIYANKA!!!!! God she’s gorgeous.
18.34
JACOB TREMBLAY ON THE RED CARPET, HOLD ON TO YOUR OVARIES.
18.32
Women out here arguing that the Oscars aren’t a White Man’s Paradise. Sage is about to lose it.
18.30
We love Alicia’s entire look from the thighs up. Undecided about the rest.
18.24
Currently in a gender debate on Twitter for calling out the lack of female directors nominated, today or EVER. OKAY.
18.22
I ALWAYS FORGET THAT GIULIANA IS BANISHED FROM THE RED CARPET.
18.19
Mindy Kaling on the Red Carpet. She’s not Malificent or anything. QUEEN.
18.16
I’ve been drinking all day, so this live blog is gonna be FUN.
22.03
I gotta say, that was fantastic. It’s amazing what an actual audience can do for energy. Take note, NBC.
21.49
Tell me about it…
21.44
In the eternal words of Barney Stinson…
21.41
Hooray for Eugene! Nerds always come out on top.
21.38
The Jets are gonna have their day, toniiiiiiiiiiiight.
Whoops, wrong show.
21.29
Stockard approves of V-Hudg’s “There Are Worst Things I Could Do.”
21.27
Boys, just say you love each other.
21.17
Stranded at the Drive-In.
Seriously, Louis. That is some Danny Zuko realness.
21.07
Gotta admit. Julianne SLAYED Hopelessly Devoted to You.
21.02
Am I going crazy or is NO ONE doing the Hand Jive correctly?
20.51
YAY DANCING.
20.48
“She’s outta luck, unless she’s as pretty as you. Is she?”
“No.”
20.47
Spiked punch is very important.
20.42
I’m still so proud of my son Joe. –S
20.34
This casting of Boyz II Men is GENIUS.
20.31
GET IT WITH THAT STEP-TOUCH SOUL, BOYZ II MEN.
20.29
All of Sandy’s Comments about Dance compeitions though.
20.23
Danny right now. Which is really shitty, but Sandy IS the worst.
20.18
Sage: Are they going to kiss? Kim: MAYBE?
20.13
This is what happens with a live audience. Un-synchronized swaying.
20.13
THIS DOODIE. Precious Cinnamon Roll. Too good, too pure.
20.09
YAY FOR DIDI CONN.
20.02
I don’t care what these stupid new lyrics say, the chicks’ll CREAM.
20.01
KEEP TALKING BOY KEEP TALKING.
19.57
Don’t be like Rizzo, kids.
19.48
You know who is probably LOVING this right now?
19.45
We are all agreed that Sandy is the WORST right?
19.43
Like Marty, I love a man in uniform.
19.39
Suck it, El Nino.
(Harry fell down immediately after this.)
19.36
Agreed, Frenchie.
19.32
Sorry for the delay guys! My computer is going to be the death of me.
22.05
And that’s our show! See you kids at the Academy Awards. Look for Maggie’s Fashion Recap soon.
22.02
Spotlight takes the ensemble SAG: was there any other choice?
21.59
The only thing getting me through Leo’s victory lap for a film he shouldn’t be winning for is Kate Winslet’s DELIGHT.
21.56
Why even bother reading these nominees? We all know where this is going. Leo. Leo, Leo, Leo.
21.47
Next Stop: Oscar.
21.43
Is this a joke? Third win for Downton Abbey? Even the ensemble looks embarrassed.
21.29
YOU REALLY AREN’T GIVING JON HAMM A VICTORY LAP YOU ASSHOLES? HOUSE OF CARDS IS BEYOND OVERRATED AND ALL SPACEY DOES IS CHEW SCENERY. OKAY.
21.23
That makes two in a row for Queen Viola. Also she looks FLAWLESS.
21.23
We’re just TWO friends. Two good friends…
21.13
“You guys are the whole ball of wax.” – Carol to Tina and Amy.
21.11
STEVE ESCORTING CAROL TO THE STAGE THOUGH.
21.04
OUR QUEENS.
20.57
That’s two, count ’em TWO SAG awards for human sex drive enhancement drug (also EXCELLENT ACTOR) Idris Elba.
20.51
Sage: UGH WHY IS RUFFALO SO HOT?
Kim: You know why.
20.49
HAIL TO THE QUEEN.
20.44
GOD I LOVE MONTAGES.
20.37
20.34
“I’m prepared for this.” – Sage
20.27
Alicia Vikander upsets at the last ceremony before the Oscars. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.
20.20
I just love seeing all these ladies, of all shapes and colors, up on this stage. You GO OITNB.
20.11
There’s always money in the banana stand. (We do object to Transparent being called a comedy though.)
GET UP HERE DAD THOUGH.
20.07
FOREVER LOVE YOU UZO. I promise eventually, we will watch your show.
20.03
“I AM ENOUGH.” BLESS QUEEN LATIFAH.
20.01
GOD I DO LOVE HOW THEY ALWAYS OPEN THE SAG AWARDS.
19.48
Nicole Kidman’s old nose fan club.
19.32
Speaking preemptively for Maggie on Kaley Cuoco:
We can’t with this bitch no matter what she wears.
19.29
GOD I LOVE IRISH ACCENTS.
19.28
Whelp, Frost has arrived.
19.25
JACOB TREMBLAY THOUGH.
19.17
Still not used to seeing Jon Hamm on his own on the red carpet.
19.14
GOD IDRIS ELBA. GET IN MY BEDROOM NOW.
19.09
Let’s discuss Michael Sheen, a BIG STAR in his own right, just being the supportive boyfriend in the background for Sarah Silverman. BLESS.
Harry agrees.
19.06
“Don’t put me in the small window. PUT ME IN THE BIG WINDOW.” – Sarah Silverman, telling E! News what’s up.
19.05
We are obsessed with Alicia’s sparkles. Curious to see what Maggie thinks in her post.
18.59
“I guess her inspiration was ‘show some skin.'” – Eva Longoria, trying to get in the headspace of her dress’s designer on Guiliana’s instruction.
18.56
“You’re doing SO WELL.” – G to Bryan Cranston, as if he doesn’t have a case of awards at home already.
18.46
With both Gaby Hoffmann and Christina Ricci in attendance, I need some Now and Then reunion pictures, thanks.
18.45
Amanda Peet: you are a beautiful woman DRESS LIKE ONE.
18.42
EVERY TIME I see Joanne Froggatt on the Red Carpet:
18.41
Is Ellie Kemper ACTUALLY a Disney Character?
18.40
Giuliana: The competition is so fierce in Leading Actor.
Kim: IS IT THOUGH? EVERYONE KNOWS LEO IS WINNING.
18.34
“But I’m Greek…”
18.33
WHY CAN NO ONE DRESS CHRISTINA HENDRICKS’S GLORIOUS FRAME?
18.29
Kim: Eddie Redmayne is such a precious bunny rabbit.
Sage: No wonder he was in a movie with the Smol One.
18.22
I LIVE FOR SALLY DRAPER/KIERNAN SHIPKA.
18.20
Our reaction to Christina Ricci’s Blonde Hair.
She looks amaze.
18.14
Our queen Laverne looking FLAWLESS and also preaching about Flint, Michigan. Can she be more perfect?
18.07
Guiliana is failing as hard as she usually does at the vamp, and we need some celebrities to show up.
18.04
“Oh yes, Seacrest doesn’t get out of bed for the SAGs”
23.14
If we’ve got another Birdman on our hands, I am going to need to drink more. See you guys for the SAGs!
22.56
Look I LOVE Leo and when I finally see this movie, I will fully admit to being wrong if I think I’m wrong but FASSY.
22.52
Remember when Brie Larson was Abed’s Girlfriend on Community?
22.44
YOU GUYS THE MARTIAN IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF THE YEAR BUT IT IS NOT A COMEDY AND WHY AREN’T WE REWARDING ACTUAL COMEDIES THAT ARE GOOD SO MORE OF THEM WILL GET MADE?
22.40
Sage: Look what the cat dragged in.
22.34
Sorry, this award was Amy’s. I can’t.
22.26
COOKIES FOR ERRYONE TONIGHT.
22.24
George Miller was stripped down, robbed, and then kicked in the face.
22.00
Golden Globes continues to favor new talent: Mr. Robot gets the Drama Series nod!
21.58
John Krasinski still working that Michael Bay makeover, I see.
21.52
But is “Writing’s On The Wall” not overwhelmingly considered to be one of the most forgettable Bond themes in HISTORY?
21.44
We appreciate the Moonstruck reference Gaga, but that Globe belongs to Kirsten Dunst.
21.42
YAY SENOR CHANG.
21.40
Reminder that Dame Helen Mirren is forever better than you.
21.35
KATE AND LEO KATE AND LEO EVERYONE CAN GO HOME NOW.
21.34
We consider this retrospective for Y Tu Mama Tambien.
21.30
Steve Jobs plays the orchestra, but Aaron Sorkin wrote the damn symphony.
21.21
Sly is v. v. emotional right now, bless.
21.17
It’s like a meeting of the Most Handsome Men’s club.
21.16
Was there really any other option?
21.08
STILL DYING THAT THE MARTIAN IS A COMEDY BUT YAY MATTY D.
21.05
Did they serve Snake Juice before the show?
20.57
Fitting because the Globes were the first ones to recognize Mad Men and now they are the last.
20.53
WRAP IT UP QUENTIN.
20.52
GUYS I HATE JAMIE FOXX SO FUCKING MUCH.
20.49
Well, Christian Slater was a little unexpected, was he not?
20.41
BEST DAMN PILOT IN THE RESISTANCE. Enjoy your Globe, Oscar!
20.40
CLEARLY everyone went to the champagne reception before the show.
20.38
Wolf Hall over Fargo?
20.35
I AM on the same page as Ricky regarding the category fraud of The Martian.
20.30
Me every time I see the Batman vs. Superman trailer…
20.25
Guess we should start watching Mozart in the Jungle?
20.24
RACHEL BLOOM WITH THE UPSET. The HFPA DO love their new talent.
20.22
Now that is how you do a bit, Samberg.
20.15
Well deserved win for Maura, who is FABULOUS on The Affair.
20.14
The color combo of The Rock and J-Lo though.
20.11
OUR QUEEN KATE TAKES IT. Can this bode well for Oscar? SAY YES.
20.09
I need to be way more drunk for this bit.
20.08
J-Kras spotted in the audience and his beard is delightful.
20.07
Ricky, I love you but you best watch yourself.
20.02
I am ALWAYS here for the shading of NBC.
20.01
Ricky with his signature beer. Here we go.
19.54
Le Winslet getting it done, as usual.
19.51
Okay we’re getting ready to switch to our post for the Show. ARE YOU READY?
19.42
Eddie Redmayne looking elated and elfin as always in a patterned jacket. Is that a fleur de lis?
19.34
Sage: Rooney Mara always looks like she was just attacked by a bear. Is she in The Revenant?
19.30
Gotta love a large man in a VELVET SUIT. Hello, Dwayne.
19.29
“This is my first Golden Globes.” JACOB TREMBLAY YOU GUYS. What a performance and what a precious child.
19.27
LOOK AT THESE TWO CUPCAKES.
19.22
You’ll always be Vince to us, Michael B. Jordan.
19.14
DINNER IS HERE.
19.07
I straight up thought Charlie Puth was 16 years old.
19.01
It’s not the Golden Globes until Jennifer Lopez shows up.
18.50
Brie Larson is SO SPARKLY and we love it.
18.48
Friendly reminder that Andy Samberg is incredibly handsome.
18.43
Fassy has arrived and Kim is all…
18.36
ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPH OF BRYSHERE YAZZ GRAY ON THE RED CARPET. #cupcake
18.35
Aziz rocking a patterned tux and we miss Tom Haverford.
18.31
Why is Alicia wearing an apron with nothing underneath? – Sage
18.30
WHERE ARE THE FAMOUS PEOPLE?
18.15
PLEASE RICKY DON’T BE TOO MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE TONIGHT.
18.10
Already arguing with our Fashion Blogger Maggie (stay tuned for her recap!!) so I know it’s going to be a good night.
18.04
Gina Rodriguez is a pretty pretty princess in navy (her waist looks AMAZING). She also brought her Dad because she is too pure for this world.
18.02
THE GLAM-BOT? Jesus.
17.58
LET’S DO THIS I AM READY BABY.
23.00
Wow. They finished 2 minutes early.
I will never be over Mad Men.
Our intrepid Fashion Editor Maggie Marshmallow will be with us later this week to share her fashion thoughts. Till then…good night!
22.59
I AM SORRY DID YOU WATCH THE FINAL SEASON OF MAD MEN?
22.57
THIS IS BULLSHIT.
22.55
TRACY.
22.52
AND THE MODERN FAMILY REIGN IS OVER.
22.47
Viola shouting out Nicole Beharie is the most promotion Sleepy Hollow has gotten all night.
22.45
Taraji is the happiest attendee at this ceremony.
22.44
Honestly, the award was sewn up the moment Viola took off her wig and make-up and then asked her husband why his penis was on a dead girl’s phone.
22.41
ALSO THAT TINA GOT TO GIVE IT TO HIM.
22.40
JON HAMM YOU GUYS. FINALLY. JESUS.
22.34
LLAP Mr. Nimoy
22.30
OH GAME OF THRONES IS GOING TO BEAT MAD MEN.
Love Peter though.
22.23
Preparing myself that Game of Thrones is going to beat Mad Men.
22.20
Love you, Uzo. However, Imma go cry in the corner over the fact that Christina never won.
22.13
Thank you, Fox, for reminding me that Viola Davis doesn’t have an Oscar no matter what your fact checking dept says.
22.11
I’m sorry, the Mad Men finale should have won.
22.08
Sage: BENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
22.06
We’ll miss you, Jon.
22.03
One Hour Left. Someone check in on Jon Hamm and his nerves.
22.02
Colin Hanks even SOUNDS like his father.
21.55
YES FOR AMY!!!!!!!!
21.53
And a victory lap for The Daily Show.
21.42
And that’s a clean sweep for Olive on this broadcast.
21.40
OKAY BUT YOU’RE BACK IN 30.
I may miss The Newsroom.
21.39
So many AMAZING shows left us this year.
21.38
I’m so glad Fred Savage is cute again. Remember when he went through a bit of a busted phase?
21.36
I am considering this a retroactive award for Six Feet Under.
21.33
EMPIRE THOUGH.
21.28
Olive Kittredge going for a clean sweep!
21.25
Bill Murray had better things to do tonight.
21.16
YAS MORE CREATIVE LADIES WINNING.
21.14
PROFESSOR IAN DUNCAN.
21.11
CUBA GOODING IS SO PROUD OF YOU REGINA!
MARCY! MY WIFE!
21.07
Behind the scenes ladies CLEANING UP.
21.06
He makes me nervous too, girl.
21.03
We love you Jaaaaaaaaaaames. Oh, yes we do.
20.58
ONE DAY So You Think You Can Dance will win.
20.57
Imma sit in the corner and pout for a little while.
20.54
Absolutely NO OFFENSE to JLD but the fact that Amy Poehler never won an Emmy is DEPLORABLE.
20.52
If Seth Meyers gives Amy Poehler an Emmy, I will lose my shit.
20.46
“Thank you for your inspiration. Thank you for letting us be a part of the change.”
20.43
Congrats to Jeffrey Tambor! There’s always money in the banana stand!
20.38
LADY DIRECTORS FTW.
20.37
Reminder that the Shitford can always get it.
20.35
Stamos and Gina presenting together. LOOK AT THE GORGEOUS PEOPLE.
20.32
I JUST WANT AMY POEHLER TO WIN THE PUDDING.
20.28
2/2 with Veep. They are definitely winning tonight.
20.27
It does annoy me that they let Ricky talk for as long as he wants because this definitely means a winner will get played off later. COME ON.
20.25
Veep wins for writing! Will they take the Series Award from Modern Family?
20.23
How much are we going to talk about binge watching tonight? This is not a new thing, people.
20.19
I love that they are going to save drama actor for the end of the night, thus torturing Jon Hamm. HE NEEDS TO WIN Y’ALL.
20.16
AND SHE STARTS SINGING HER SPEECH.
20.15
National Treasure Allison Janney sets a record and has a reallllllllllllllllllly hot date.
20.12
It should be noted that once again Kyle Chandler’s tux does not fit him properly because that’s how Coach rolls.
20.10
Taraji is LOVING all of this.
20.08
Sage: Oh God PLEASE stop cutting to the African American people during this. Defeating the point.
20.07
I mean I wish that is how they would play people off.
20.05
Look at you, Andy. We’re so proud.
20.04
WELL DONE ANDY! You done watched every damn show.
20.02
“Have you seen Castle?” “Errrrrrrrm”
20.01
YVETTE NICOLE BROWN!
19.59
WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT SPORTS WHEN WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT SEQUINS?
19.58
I’m so confused as to why the Fox pre-show is the football people.
19.58
We’re rooting for first-time host Andy Samberg to kill this show! Hope he’s all caught up on Media Content.
19.54
We switched away from the E! pre-show for a hot second, but we returned and were greeted with James Corden’s beautiful face.
19.50
Okay, kids. We’re switching over to our post for the ceremony. Join us there for all the good times!
19.37
We’re also calling this a win for Kerry Washington.
19.35
Update: we ordered Thai. From a restaurant called Sage’s, so it’s a sign.
19.33
ERRYBODY is busting out chains tonight.
19.28
CRISIS ALERT: the place we had planned to order dinner from closes super early on Sundays. We’re now figuring out alternatives.
19.23
“I just show up and I say ‘Thank you Ms. Fey.'” Krakow, we love you.
19.18
Giuliana is actually doing quite well tonight. Probably because her job is on the line.
19.17
Maggie Gyllenhaal is usually such a hot mess, I am calling this a win.
19.13
“I’m not only a neuroscientist, I get to play one on TV.” – Mayim Bialik often makes me forget about how much I hate The Big Bang Theory.
19.10
IDEK what Sally Draper is wearing RN.
19.08
National Treasure Allison Janney is in a naked dress and looks phenomenal. GET IT GIRL.
19.06
Only Sarah Hyland can say “I’m so sweaty” and have us coo about how cute she is.
19.04
We are obsessed with Anthony Anderson’s son.
19.03
Is Rob Lowe a Vampire? How is he not aging?
19.00
Reminder that Amy has never won an Emmy for playing Leslie Knope and tonight is her last chance.
18.54
Reminder that we should say a little prayer of gratitude to St. Julianne Moore for the fact that there is no mani-cam tonight.
18.53
Maisie Williams looking fabulous in a pink dress with pockets. We’re not going to be able to handle how she’s going to elevate the eyebrow game on Doctor Who. It ALREADY has the strongest brow game on TV.
18.50
If Fox cared at all about promoting some of their shows, we’d be seeing these two tonight.
18.48
Mindy, you gorgeous creature. Work that color.
18.48
Joanne Froggatt is our first major misstep fashion wise. The hair needed to be up with that dress and it’s just an odd dress in general.
18.43
Must we talk about the heat with everyone? We get it. IT’S HOT.
18.40
Gina Rodriguez FINALLY showing some skin and getting EVERYTHING right. It’s about time, she’s one of the most beautiful women on TV.
18.38
CHRISTINA HENDRICKS OUR QUEEN. Looking fierce in a studded gown.
18.36
Cat Deeley’s little baby bump. She is ACTUAL sunshine.
18.35
TARAJI GOT ME IN CHAIIIIIIIIIIINS
18.34
Taraji P. Henson, you fierce bitch. ACTUAL CHAINS on her dress.
18.32
I don’t understand Heidi’s dress.
18.31
Tituss is looking fab in a forest green tux with a floral bowtie. We hope he wins. Also we love him for explaining about Peeno Noir.
18.26
Yo, Seacrest. Harry Styles called. He wants his hairdo back because he looks better in it. And knows that hair and stubble do not match,
18.19
Aubrey Plaza is giving me “Wednesday Addams goes to the prom” in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY.
18.19
Let me get this straight, Intern Ross…are we really analyzing pictures of celebs FROM YOUR PHONE?
18.16
Amy re: Tatiana: “I just tackled her.” We would do the same, TBH.
18.14
Laverne Cox, QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE. This is all working, her hair, her dress, her skin, her ATTITUDE.
18.13
TATIANA, SLAY IN THAT WHITE SUIT,
18.12
AMY SCHUMER WHY NO NECKLACE?
22.02
And we are done. THANK YOU JESUS.
22.01
ONE LAST FART. At Candace’s Wedding no less.
22.00
BOB’S WIFE FINALLY DIVORCED HIM.
21.50
HOME STRETCH YOU GUYS. I need a wine refill.
21.48
Sorry actual Steve was WAY HOTTER.
21.46
Bad news from the network!
21.44
And their banner gets covered by a Seinfeld one.
21.40
Honestly, it’s like the casting department didn’t even try.
21.38
“This is what being wildly successful looks like.” I can’t wait for his wife to dump his ass. Please tell me she dumps his ass.
21.36
I imagine they weren’t able to get the rights to “Forever”?
21.34
“I can sponsor you for membership in the Dead Sisters Club.”
21.31
Case and Point about Stamos’ Hair.
21.28
Real Talk: I do feel sorry for the Olsen Twins.
21.27
Everyone is jealous of Mary-Kate and Ashley.
21.26
Note to this movie: John Stamos had a WAY hotter haircut by this point.
21.25
Are they for reals huffing?
21.23
It’s 1993 and we have a new Candace who looks nothing like the previous Candace.
21.19
Sage: NONE OF THEM EVER SAID THEY WISHED THEIR LIFE WAS LIKE FULL HOUSE.
21.16
“My brother thinks I should get closer to God.” Mhhhhhmmmmmm
21.13
The children witnessed this sexualizing of the mannequin.
21.11
“America’s Funniest Sexual Positions”
21.09
PAULA ABDUL.
21.07
It’s good to see that Candace was as neurotic on Full House as she was on Dancing With the Stars.
21.02
My main takeaway from this is that Bob Saget is a horrible human being.
20.57
He totally just did finger guns, y’all.
20.55
AMERICA AMERICA THIS IS YOOOOOOOOOOOU.
20.54
CONTRACT RENEGOTIATION TIME. True Story this is the making of a multi-million dollar empire right here.
20.52
Jodie is having middle child syndrome just like Stephanie.
20.49
I can’t believe Sage and I quit watching quality television for this.
20.48
“We’ll soon have a Full House of our own.” KILL ME.
20.47
FIRST MICHELLE CATCHPHRASE! DRINK!
20.46
WAIT A MINUTE JOHN AND LORI WERE EXES?
20.43
Is there going to be a liaison between Dave and Mama Olsen? You oughtta know.
20.41
Saget really just wants to be taken seriously.
20.38
But really how do any of these actors have any modicum of self respect? This is horrible.
20.37
BOY WEEKEND IN VEGAS. How else are they going to play three best friends?
20.34
Poor Bob Saget.
20.33
Sage re: Bob Saget (real and fake)
20.32
HORRIBLE GAY JOKES.
20.31
Saget gets on set and already doesn’t want to be here.
20.30
Truth time: didn’t realize they shot the pilot with a different Danny,
20.26
Sorry Dude the Olsen twins were MUCH younger than that when they were cast.
20.25
“What about Paul Reiser?”
“He passed.”
20.24
10 to 1 Candace is going to have some insecurity re: her brother being more famous.
20.22
HOW IS THIS AN ACCEPTABLE CANDACE CAMERON?
20.21
Bob Saget is pretty much a horrible person.
20.21
Rue McLanahan reference, drink!
20.19
“The Cosby show is doing so well right now…”
20.17
Like Satine, Bob Saget just wants to be a real actress.
20.14
Is this seriously the best they could do for John Stamos?
20.14
“Is Alanis Morrissette gonna be in this?”
20.11
I haven’t had nearly enough wine for this.
20.09
AND WE ARE LIVE. NONE OF THESE PEOPLE LOOK LIKE THE PEOPLE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING.
20.05
We’re a little behind because we’re celebrating our friendaversary which involved the X-Files Pilot which is a not network standard 48 minutes. WHOOPS NOT SORRY.
00.17
I’m so mad right now. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE.
00.05
TWELVE YEARS. TWELLLLLLVE YEAAAAAAAAAAAARS.
00.04
Gross movie is gross.
23.57
We never thought this day would come, but JULIANNE MOORE HAS AN OSCAR BITCHES.
23.51
EDDIE THANK GOD.
23.46
Celebrating pretension makes everyone else feel better about their own pretension. In other words, Birdman is winning shit.
23.44
DID THEY FOR REAL HAVE BEN AFFLECK PRESENT BEST DIRECTOR AFTER SNUBBING HIM?
23.37
This precious kid is desperately trying not to shit his pants for winning for his first screenplay.
23.33
Birdman gets the screenplay Oscar that should have gone to Grand Budapest.
23.23
I loved how genuinely touched Dame Julie Andrews was by that. Well done, Gaga.
23.17
At least it’s not Carrie Underwood?
23.15
THE SOUND OF MUSIC.
Also Captain Von Trapp is responsible for my sexual awakening.
23.13
Note to Terence Howard, Chris Pine is how you properly emote.
23.06
But really how much does Idina hate John Travolta?
23.02
Gospel Hands for Common and John Legend KILLING IT.
22.49
Terence Howard making sure that you know this is all about him.
22.44
Will I ever stop getting the goosebumps when I see Benny C at a big, Hollywood shindig?
22.38
SING J-HUD, SING!
(Also we super dig this haircut on her)
22.32
Miss you Captain, my Captain.
22.31
This In Memoriam is going to hurt like a bitch.
22.27
Idris Elba though.
22.21
Reminder that woman doesn’t think The Academy has a problem with diversity…
22.11
Big Hero 6 takes Animated Feature. The Lego Movie, meanwhile, gets all the Lego Oscars it can carry.
22.03
That was a fantastic performance.
21.57
Meryl’s FUCK YES reaction to that though.
21.54
YAY FOR YOU PATRICIA, I HOPE YOU MEMORIZED YOUR SPEECH.
21.51
Okay it’s time for like…a good montage or another acting award or something.
21.47
YAY FOR WHIPLASH!!!
21.44
NPH looking good and appears to have eaten a few steaks since finishing his run in Hedwig.
21.33
NEVER FORGET that Viola Davis should have an Oscar.
21.28
“Crikey! These are big buggers!”
21.18
EVERYTHING IS AWESOMEEEEEE.
21.17
“Ed Norton! He’s right over there!”
21.14
Good for you for not letting the playoff music stop you, sir!!
21.08
SOBBING OVER THAT PROMO FOR MAD MEN.
REMEMBER THAT SHOW STILL EXISTS, TELEVISION ACADEMY?
21.08
Sage’s mom just texted all her kids saying that “Lost Stars” sounds like a New Radicals song. The lead singer of the New Radicals WROTE that song. Good ear, Rosemary.
21.04
“Did I say ‘pants down’? I meant ‘hands down.'”
21.04
Not digging the goatee, Channing.
20.58
YAS I PICKED GRAND BUDAPEST FOR COSTUMES IN MY OSCAR POOL.
20.57
Julianne Moore is embarrassed by her swag bag.
20.51
ARE WE AAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST STAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS?
20.44
DAT SPEECH.
20.42
J.K. Simmons sweeps the whole season. Well done, sir.
20.39
He’s so earnest I love it.
20.37
YAY NEIL!
20.35
THIS IS AMAZING.
20.33
Benedict Cumberbatch is game for LITERALLY ANY BIT. Give him a bit and he will do it.
20.30
NEIL WE ARE READY FOR YOU.
20.15
There’s no way that that’s actually Tim McGraw.
20.06
Ethan, please stay forever. #GentlePirates
20.04
RUFFALO!
19.55
Reese and Robin Roberts shout out the #AskHerMore campaign! Yay, Smart Girls!
19.54
REESE WITHERSPOON FEMINIST HERO.
19.51
Reese Witherspoon’s mom has her priorities in the right place.
19.43
Following the Pratts with Benny Batch was too much for us.
19.42
Sage just had an audible reaction to Chris Pratt.
19.38
The Dakota Johnson interview with Lara Spencer was PAINFUL.
19.24
This Royals show though.
19.08
LUPITA LOOKS LIKE THE INSIDE OF A RICH OLD LADY’S JEWELRY BOX AND I’M HERE FOR IT.
18.58
Felicity looks like Cinderella and we love it.
18.48
Laura Dern looks like a warrior princess.
18.41
WHEN DID DAKOTA JOHNSON LOSE HER ENTIRE PERSONALITY? THIS IS SO UPSETTING.
18.29
ETHAN!!!!!!!!!
Also we saw Before Sunrise on the big screen yesterday and seriously….that man. I think Sage may have a bruise on her leg cause I hit her so much during the screening.
18.24
Maggie just texted me that she spotted Ethan Hawke and I am not at all ready to see him because my loins may explode.
18.20
Yay for Dave Karger calling out Wild being shut out (one of my fave movies of the year) because it’s a LADY driven picture.
18.11
I love that Giuliana has clearly been banished from having ANY interaction with a celebrity.
18.03
I LOVE a good montage but WHERE ARE ALL THE PRETTY DRESSES??
17.54
OKAY FAMOUS PEOPLE IT’S TIME TO GET HERE.
17.47
Anna Kendrick looks fab in a pinky coral with the perfect amount of tasteful underboob.
17.43
Patty’s Gown is totally photo ready for that Oscar. Gold goes great with Black and White.
17.35
While we wait for the celebs, I’m pondering what Sage and I are going to order for dinner. Any thoughts?
21.57
We’re confused because there are still 4 minutes left. WHAT AWARDS SHOW FINISHES WITH 4 MINUTES TO SPARE?
See you at the Oscars!
21.55
Actors gave this award to actors for acting about acting! #SAGception
21.50
GET READY FOR YOUR OSCAR AT LAST JULIANNE MOORE.
Shouting out her Soap Opera Roots and talking about the joy of being with other actors. She’s killing this. She’s waited so long for this. All hail the Queen.
21.40
This probably just cemented the Oscar. Eddie wasn’t expecting this and he shouts out all the people in the running for Best Actor, nominated or not. Precious sunflower.
21.38
When will the relentless appetite of Downton Abbey be satistifed??
21.33
Look at Rashida and Andy and their glasses.
21.26
Kevin Spacey for House of Cards – another no-show. The SAGS are strugglin’, y’all.
21.25
It was a rough year, you guys.
21.23
Viola is still throwing shade for that New York Times Article and she should NEVER STOP.
21.22
ALL HAIL QUEEN VIOLA.
21.16
Reminder that HammBone is not nominated in this category and that True Detective is a MINI-SERIES NOT A DRAMA.
21.08
Stop name dropping Debbie except DON’T STOP.
21.00
Princess Leia, y’all.
20.56
Still looking for confirmation other than what we can SEE in pictures that Amy Poehler is with child.
IF YOU ARE NOT, WE ARE SORRY AMY WE LOVE YOU.
20.51
Frances is still not amused.
20.43
RUFFALO, WHERE ARE YOU? Step away from your Tumblr and pick up your award.
20.31
Also, next step Oscar, Papa MacGuff.
20.25
No, you know what’s next Patty? A fucking OSCAR.
20.18
Can’t be mad at that many beautiful, funny ladies on one stage. Orange is the New Black takes the Comedy Ensemble award!
20.11
Never seen Shameless, but yay for the Mace. And I love how happy Felicity was for him.
20.09
And now I’m crying. Thanks, Uzo.
20.07
YAY UZO but it’s still bullshit they combine supporting and leading performances at the SAGs.
20.03
I always LOVE the opening of the SAG Awards.
19.49
AND JENNIFER ANISTON DENIED THE MANI-CAM TOO.
19.39
Emma Stone owns that menswear game like…
19.29
Maria forcing everyone to do the Mani-Cam, kicking and screaming.
19.27
SNAPS FOR ELLE WOODS.
19.21
Julia Roberts gives no fucks because she’s Julia Roberts.
19.14
Ummmm, guys? Is Amy Poehler announcing another pregnancy here today?
19.07
Keira is pregnant and thus gives no fucks about tight clothes nor taking her shoes off.
We worship her.
19.06
Amanda Peet, I will give you a million dollars to dress like the hot woman that you are.
19.03
Maria needs to STOP AWKWARDLY HUGGING PEOPLE.
19.02
Julianne Moore refuses to do the Mani-Cam. QUEEN.
19.00
We love you, Natalie Dormer.
18.58
What is with all this FLAT HAIR business?
18.45
Not nearly enough people are drunk and happy.
18.37
JLD shaking up her usual look. Digging the lace.
18.29
Totally forgot Tatiana was nominated until JUST NOW.
18.26
Ethan Hawke, you guys. My LOOOOOOOOOVE.
18.19
I dig Tony Hale’s Beard.
18.11
No one is there yet, so they are vamping.
18.10
NO GIULIANA YOU GUYS!
18.03
Eddie Redmayne loves Friends and Rachel Green, cementing his perfection.
18.01
Ryan Seacrest, like Naomi Campbell before him, doesn’t get out of bed for the SAG Red Carpet.
23.06
That felt fast and furious. See you in 2 weeks for the SAGs! Thanks for reading.
23.02
I was a little scared after the Comedy upset, but Boyhood wins. We’ll have a big discussion about it when we do out post on the Oscar Nominations later this week.
22.59
Redmayne wins the battle of the biopics.
(Also we don’t know what this is from but we’re into it.)
22.51
BUT REALLY REESE SHOULD HAVE WON.
22.47
Budapest pulls another upset! There’s no through line. THIS ISN’T HELPING OUR OSCAR POOL.
22.37
OUR EMOTIONS KEATON.
22.33
I mean I hated Birdman but Keaton is great. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut are we really going to give him an Oscar for making a movie when he is an actor and that is his job? Sorry not sorry.
22.27
This is an upset, but we’re fine with Alice from Luther winning.
22.26
I like to think that Linklater is also winning this for the Before trilogy too.
22.23
Kim: Fuck me, In Memoriam is going to be terrible.
22.17
I COULD NOT BE MORE PROUD TO BE YOUR HUSBAND.
22.15
“You’ve caught the brass ring.”
22.14
HE CALLED HER JULES.
22.13
Oh, we spotted that One Fine Day clip in that package. NEVER FORGET.
22.12
Will legit vote for him when he runs for President.
22.11
DOUG AND CAROL.
22.10
We’re just going to spam Clooney right now.
22.09
I know they are both married but you can’t tell me George and Juliana aren’t a little bit in love.
22.08
DOUG AND CAROL 4EVA.
22.03
“I just want to be better.” Srsly, was there a Awesome Speeches 101 class before the ceremony? Cause people be awesome tonight.
22.00
Now that the Cranst is out of the way and HammBone is STRANGELY NOT NOMINATED, this was a cakewalk for Keiser Soze.
22.00
GUYS GUYS GUYS FOX MULDER. FOX MULDER ON THE GG STAGE.
21.55
Drama series goes to freshmen Showtime drama, The Affair!
21.52
WHAT IS THIS EMOTIONAL MCDONALD’S COMMERCIAL?
21.48
Add Maggie to the list of ladies fucking slaying their speeches.
21.39
DAT SPEECH THOUGH JEFFREY.
21.38
This is the year for erstwhile character actors to be recognized.
21.35
Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda though.
21.33
Never forget Linklater made School of Rock and it’s amazing.
21.32
GUYS I HATED BIRDMAN AND THIS IS GONNA BE THE LONGEST AWARDS SEASON.
21.28
BABIES.
21.24
And we just tapped our giant wine bottle. Bad for this blog, good for my board meeting tomorrow.
21.20
Ummmm, Rob Marshall didn’t mash up all those fairy tales. Stephen Sondheim did.
21.19
Well done, Patricia. You are magnificent.
21.14
Salma Hayek still gets invited to these things?
21.06
I ADORE Emily Blunt, but Amy was fabulous in this role.
21.04
Ricky Gervais, snark and booze as per usu.
LOOK I RHYMED.
21.02
Will Bomer pull down another Globe for his Montgomery Clift next year??
20.51
PRINCE.
20.49
Original Song is invalid because Lost Stars isn’t nominated. Seriously, people. Watch Begin Again.
20.43
“To love.”
People be killing it with the speeches.
20.41
Transparent with a HUGE upset.
20.37
CALLED IT BITCHES.
20.34
BENNY LOVES TO PHOTOBOMB.
20.26
Billy Bob takes the Globe and gives a non-speech.
20.26
I can’t believe Renner just commented on JLo’s globes, yet I can.
20.24
Fargo bests True Detective! Youuuuuu betcha.
20.17
Lady Edith is so happy for her though.
20.16
Season 4 was garbage, but Anna is a gorgeous actress.
20.15
SAVE KATE FOX. #ripBenandKate
20.13
J.K. Simmons says you could have this Golden Globe…
20.12
SHERLOCK AND RACHEL GREEN.
20.11
“Let’s talk about television.” “I hear we’re out of time.”
20.09
We can’t even keep up this is so awesome.
20.06
NEVER FORGET.
20.05
Now I want cake.
20.03
Amy and Tina are killing it per usual.
20.03
Oprah is sitting in front of Cheryl Strayed. WOMEN.
20.01
If we drank every time the Sony Hack was referenced we would be dead right now.
19.57
Closing this live blog and heading over to our ceremony post. See you there.
19.48
Alan Cumming in a GOLD DAMN SUIT.
19.47
Allison Janney, National Treasure.
19.41
George is terrified right now.
19.40
Also Sage and I made the right call ordering sushi. This is everything.
19.37
If there is not a Joey and Pacey picture by the end of the night, I will burn Utica to the ground.
19.35
Rachel Green everyone.
19.22
Hold please, we are eating.
19.19
GUYS KATHERINE HEIGL JUST SAID SHE HAD A FULLER FIGURE AND I CAN NOT.
19.17
Claire Danes gives no fucks.
19.15
JLo both Lupita and Gwynnie did capes better than you.
19.15
Someone’s into butterflies, I see.
19.11
Giuliana just had a Clooney MELTDOWN. Drink Drink Drink.
19.09
CLOONEY.
19.05
Guiliana talked about Clooney. DRINK!
19.02
HOW is Steve such a stately silver fox??
19.01
Still not over Julianne taking Keira Knightley’s slot in Comedy actress BTW. WATCH Begin Again people and join me in my rage.
18.59
CRAZY EYES YOU LOOK AMAZING.
18.52
Still not over Chastain.
18.50
JESSICA CHASTAIN WINS EVERYONE ELSE GO HOME.
BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS.
18.48
PACEY WITTER, FINE FOR LIFE.
18.48
Tina and Amy are queens in case you didn’t know.
18.45
Fuck all you trolls who drove Lena off Twitter.
18.45
Gratutious Matt Bomer in Magic Mike gif.
18.35
In related news, Sage just got here, which means we have wine now.
18.33
Take a drink everytime Giuliana brings up George Clooney.
18.30
Life long love affair with Ethan Hawke, you guys.
18.24
Gina Rodriguez is so lovely and bubbly and I am certain she is going to win tonight. Not loving the bottom of her dress, but her face and hair are fantastic.
18.22
Naomi’s snake necklace is mesmerizing. Love the yellow.
18.16
I wish Hader had done that interview as Stefon.
18.13
Allison Tolman looks SPECTACULAR. Gorgeous dress that flatters her bod, flawless hair, make-up, and jewels. Curvy ladies represent!
18.09
Our love for Brits has NOTHING to do with The Royals, E!. Nice try.
18.09
Eddie Redmayne is wearing a velvet tux jacket and I’m not mad about it.
18.04
I mean at least Rosamund won’t have any trouble nursing her baby through the show.
18.01
We begin with Ryan and a selfie stick so that is a harbinger for how this will go tonight.
17.54
Pictures of Rosamund Pike’s dress have hit the internets and I CANNOT.
SAGGY BOOBS ARE UNFORGIVABLE.
22.55
And that’s our show! I still think it’s super awkward to not give the cast a bow. They worked so hard!
Thanks for joining me!
And one last Walken gif…
22.51
Awkward transition to Minnie Driver.
22.47
SERIOUSLY…please listen to everything Kelli O’Hara has ever done.
22.42
SEE?! They ARE Dany and Drogo!
22.40
Awkward sword fighting.
22.35
Borle’s wrists are like half the size of his forearms. FAKE.
22.32
Me right now, in this last half hour.
22.24
The boat rocking back and forth effect was HILARIOUSLY bad.
22.21
FINALLY more Hook dancing!
22.18
I BELIEVE IN FAIRIES.
22.17
Hook be creeping.
22.13
Because I haven’t posted one of these in a while. This is for you Shannon.
22.12
Yeah, the muscles are definitely fake. Final call.
22.10
“How can you think of food right now?” “I’m ALWAYS thinking of food.”
#priorities
22.07
The accent going in and out is KILLING ME.
22.04
Mother and Father will adopt you!! Sure they will!
21.57
I hope this girl gets a LOT of offers after this.
21.55
PETER COME ON. ALSO WENDY COME ON, HE’S NOT INTO IT.
21.52
Do I spy SYTYCD’s Alex Fucking Wong in Tiger Lily’s Tribe?
21.51
Just got serious Dany and Khal Drogo vibes from Peter and Tiger Lily.
21.46
“To die would be an awfully big adventure” just makes me think of Hook and now I has sad.
21.40
Farmer’s Tan or Make-Up line for your FAKE MUSCLES, Christian Borle??
FAKE.
21.36
Legit Broadway Singer, Guys. Thank God.
21.35
Peter and Wendy in this scene. Wendy is Cher. Obviously.
21.27
WENDY AND TIGER LILY CAT FIGHT!
21.26
Poor Wendy has no idea just HOW bad a boyfriend Peter is.
21.21
How can the Lost Boys go to school when they have CLEARLY all been to college for musical theatre?
21.17
I have now decided Borle’s muscles are real. HELLO.
21.13
I’m laughing SO hard at Walken.
21.11
Discuss what kind of mother Wendy would be.
21.09
THE END OF HAMLET!
21.06
“Oh what pleasure she’ll bring us…”
HMMM.
21.02
Which one is Rufio?
BANGARANG.
20.57
DYING FOR INTO THE WOODS.
20.56
Walken is killing the dancing.
20.54
I’ve convinced myself that Borle’s muscles are fake. And now can’t stop trying to figure it out.
20.49
Let’s take a moment to appreciate that they cast an actress of Indian Descent as Tiger Lily and NOT Rooney Mara. #SHADE
20.47
YOU TAP DANCE CHRIS WALKEN!
20.45
Dancing and Singing Pirates!
20.44
OR ARE THOSE MUSCLES FAKE ONES NOW THAT I LOOK?
DISCUSS.
20.42
WHOA. Who knew Christian Borle had those arms?
20.35
The flying looks pretty spectacular you guys.
20.34
Michael has his priorities in order.
20.33
John and Michael are precious.
20.29
Even when she is computer animated, Tinkerbell is a wonderful bitch.
20.28
I love Wendy’s obsession with Mermaids.
20.24
Williams’ lung capacity is MUCH better when she’s just standing there.
20.21
The REAL question is…how are John and Michael still asleep through all of this?
20.20
Allison is VERY feminine as Peter. Lesbian subtext becomes not so subtexty.
20.17
Williams seems VERY nervous. Relax, Gurl. BREATHE.
20.15
I don’t know how I feel about these British Accents.
20.15
“You mustn’t touch me.”
20.11
I will miss Tinkerbell and her bitchface. (OOOH…maybe she should have been played by Laura Benanti!)
20.08
SING IT KELLI!
20.05
Is the sound oddly canned to anyone else?
20.04
Mrs. Darling is being played by Kelli O’Hara, who is Audra McDonald, sans Tony Awards. She’s glorious. Do yourself a favor and listen to The Bridges of Madison County post-haste.
19.58
T-Minus Three Minutes!
23.01
AND I AM SPENT. THANKS FOR JOINING ME!!
23.00
“Some part of me will always be Screech. And you know what? I’m okay with that.”
22.59
“No one wanted to see us grow up.”
22.58
I really need a “Where are they now” montage.
22.56
“Go out there and make them laugh.”
22.54
MARK IS APOLOGIZING TO DUSTIN FOR HIS SUFFERING.
22.53
“Where’s Dustin?”
22.52
Aw, they are graduating and the gang is all back together.
Except Tori. Fuck her.
22.46
So Dustin’s “friend” is going to betray him unless he gets him a big part on the show and THAT is why they have been friends.
IT IS ALL A LIE.
REMINDER THAT DUSTIN SUFFERED.
22.44
“I hear you’re up for a movie…”
22.43
Dustin has moved on to weed except I thought there was no hope in dope?
22.40
“The girl they cast…to replace us?”
22.38
Tiffani and Elizabeth are leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaving.
To do Showgirls and 90210. Remember that?
22.35
“Saved By The Bell isn’t going to last forever.”
Guys, shit is getting real.
22.33
“What’s Saved By The Bell without Zack and Kelly?”
Truth. Those episodes with Tori SUCKED.
22.32
“Elizabeth has been wanting to do movies for awhile.”
22.31
Now Tiffani and Mark-Paul are drinking and Mark doesn’t appreciate wine.
22.30
“I got wasted and I got laid. Isn’t that what you always wanted?”
22.28
Dustin was drunk at a fan event.
Because he suffers.
22.27
DUSTIN DOESN’T GET TO GO ANYWHERE EXOTIC.
REMINDER THAT HE SUFFERS.
THANKS TO SAGE FOR THIS GIF. I MISS YOU.
22.26
“We can’t keep the kids from growing up.”
22.23
Dustin does some boxing and karate and then drinks from his secret flask.
22.19
I AM NOT SCREECH!!!
22.18
Elizabeth can’t get people to take her seriously because of Jessie you guys.
22.17
Slater’s midriff shirt.
22.12
And we have Dustin’s first vodka from a random straggler drinking on the studio lot.
22.11
IT’S CAFFEINE PILLS, IT’S NOT LIKE SHE’S ADDICTED TO HEROIN.
22.10
YAS THEY DID THE SCENE.
22.07
“Do you think you could introduce me to Mark-Paul?”
*SAD FACE*
22.06
“My first kiss was with Tori Spelling. The beautiful daughter of an important TV producer.”
22.05
“You only had to look at which characters on the show were dating.”
22.01
“If the network doesn’t kill us, the hormones might.”
I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS AND IT WAS WORTH IT.
22.00
CAT FIGHT WITH TIFFANI AND LARK OVER MARK I LOVE IT.
21.59
“WE NEED TO PRACTICE.”
YAS.
21.55
It’s okay, Lark. Troy Barnes understands about birthdays.
21.54
Mark and Lark were a thing?
21.52
“Next week you’re playing a lady janitor!!”
Reminder that Dustin struggled.
21.48
OH MY GOD DUSTIN’S FANTASY SEQUENCE.
21.48
So Mario was a man whore who made out with groupies and Dustin was jealous.
21.47
“MASH was a comedy. All in the Family was a comedy. And they did deeper things”
Cause Saved By The Bell is on that level.
21.45
“I figured after high school, I’d go some place exciting. But everyone still sees me a sophomore.”
JUST WAIT ELIZABETH.
21.44
I AM MAKING THOUSANDS!!!
DO YOU WANT TO BE GROUNDED AGAIN?
21.43
“They are supposed to be funny and sweet.”
21.39
Now that we’re on commercial let’s take a moment to laugh about the “I don’t know about this Jerry Seinfeld, he’s too Jewish” comment.
21.37
“The show that wouldn’t die got another chance.”
META META
21.34
“ALL THE OTHER KIDS GET TO BE COOL!!!!”
21.33
“In church, they tell us we shouldn’t have pride.”
21.31
The Lark/Lisa is not too shabby though. Well done, Lifetime.
21.30
We were like REAL teenagers.
UH HUH.
21.29
Is this REALLY the best they could find for Mario Lopez?
21.27
I just told them about my dancing.
21.24
Let’s cry for Dustin cause he had to stay in the locker all the time.
21.19
They keep implying that Mario, Tiffani, and Elizabeth are going to have a threesome OMG.
21.19
“I guess you’re just not blonde enough, kid.”
21.17
LET US AGAIN REMIND YOU THAT DUSTIN DIAMOND’S LIFE IS HARD AND HIS DAD HATES HIM.
21.16
“Dancing is my passion.”
HEE HEE HEE.
21.14
“Maybe we’ll become one of those great comedy teams…”
21.11
Why does that TV Studio look like the offices of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce?
21.06
Reminder that Dustin Diamond has had a really tough life, y’all.
21.04
FIRST TIME OUT AND NOW SCREECH IS TAKING OVER.
“This is MY Story.”
21.01
THESE ACTORS LOOK NOTHING LIKE THE PEOPLE THEY ARE PLAYING.
With the exception of Screech.
20.48
LESS THAN 15 MINUTES. Me right now:
23.03
OMG THEY FINISHED ON TIME. Thanks for joining us friends! T-Minus a month till the TV season!
22.59
And Breaking Bad completes its near sweep of the Drama Category. Rightfully so!
22.51
Is anyone who works for Modern Family embarrassed about this yet?
22.49
So glad it seems the Emmy Voters aren’t falling for this “True Detective is a DRAMA” bullshit.
22.47
AARON PAUL IS LOSING HIS SHIT AS PER USUAL!!!!!!!!
22.45
Oh hey, I know this chick.
22.42
THIS DOES NOT MAKE UP FOR THE DRAMA SERIES SNUB FOR THE GOOD WIFE BUT IT HELPS. YAY JULIANA!!
22.37
A lady writer who’s not sharing the credit with a dude? DO NOT PLAY HER OFF.
22.35
REMEMBER WHEN KATHERINE HEIGL STOLE SANDRA OH’S EMMY???
#neverforget
22.35
Joe Morton won my heart as well as this Emmy when he took Fitz down like twinkly lights after Christmas.
22.32
It’s fine, Vince Gilligan. You’re already the recipient of several Head Over Feels fantasy Emmys for your work here and with a pair of super attractive FBI agents.
22.28
I think we all know why Anna Gunn won two years in a row…
J/K! It’s because she fucking deserved it.
22.20
I don’t know how Billy got through that. A gentleman and an amazing tribute to his friend. We love and miss you Robin.
22.15
It’s been a rough year.
22.11
Aaron Paul is the epitome of CLASS you guys.
22.08
KING AARON PAUL.
21.56
I feel like the Tony Awards win every year, as they should.
21.54
Whoa whoa whoa, was NOT expecting Hardwick for a second time this week.
21.46
SARAH SILVERMAN WON, THIS IS GREAT.
21.43
Okay, now can we be shallow about Mark Ruffalo?
21.41
Bravo to Larry Kramer and The Normal Heart.
21.34
HEY HEY HEY, GO TEAM FARGO AGAIN.
21.30
Weird Al is better than you. At any given moment.
21.27
We forever love Jessica Lange for being fucking fabulous.
21.25
Sherlock basically swept that category. Knee caresses for everyone!
21.24
SERIOUSLY, GUYS. HIGH FIVE FOR MARTIN FREEMAN.
21.22
WHAT WHAT WHAT EVERYONE CHECK ON TUMBLR. CAUSE BENEDICT JUST WON.
21.17
We just wish they were doing a “REALLY??” segment.
21.12
Basically, if you’ve got Martin Freeman, you gon win. GO TEAM FARGO.
21.09
AND AN EMMY.
21.04
EMERGENCY WE ARE OUT OF WINE.
21.02
OVER JULIA AND TOLMAN REALLY?
20.59
YOU GUYS SHERLOCK WON. IT WON.
20.50
Cranston doesn’t think he’s gonna win, so he’s just going out like that.
20.49
First, they force Mindy to get up at the buttcrack of dawn just to get snubbed, then they stick her with presenting this C-list category.
20.47
Best Awards Show Makeout Since this:
20.45
Brave face, Amy. BRAVE FACE.
20.38
Oh wow, Jim Parsons wins. What a flerkin’ surprise.
20.33
That WAS a great speech though. And yay Lady Directors!
20.33
Modern Family is going to take everything and Parks and Rec will be snubbed again. S’not okay.
20.31
Hurray for lady directors, but we were pulling for Jodie.
20.22
And the Jackal picks up her second Emmy of the year. A shame it’s for Mom though.
#ducktieburns
20.18
LOUIE GETS IT AND COULD GET IT.
20.11
Everyone’s rocking the navy tuxes this year. It’s lots of fun.
20.10
We like Ty Burrell just fine and I dig his glasses, but come on, Emmys. Let’s switch it up.
20.09
FLAWLESS MONOLOGUE SETH.
20.09
“TV’s always up.”
20.06
I am just glad Seth and I have the same feelings about the How I Met Your Mother finale.
20.05
“New phone, who dis?”
20.03
Seth calling out dramas submitted as comedies. Ahem.
20.03
“The Emmys are on a Monday in August, which means the Emmys are about to get cancelled.”
#Accurate
20.01
AND HERE WE GO.
19.57
Breaking: Seth and Matthew are wearing the same tux.
#BITCHSTOLEMYLOOK
19.56
Billy Bush trying to be relevant in any possible way.
19.54
Breaking news: 5 years later and 4 years after the trend died, Kelly Osbourne still maintaining that purple hair.
19.51
WE ARE SO CONFUSED BY JON VOIGHT.
Also no one watches your show. #ducktieburn
19.46
You’ll always be Knox Overstreet to us, Josh Charles!
19.46
19.44
We are Bill Masters gazing hungrily at Lizzy Caplan right now.
19.36
WE FORGOT TIM RIGGINS WOULD BE HERE.
#texasforever
19.26
Reminder that JRobs is looking to move halfway to an EGOT tonight.
19.21
Seth’s responses to Giuliana asking him about E! shows…
19.16
Because we can’t use enough Magic Mike gifs, let’s celebrate future Emmy Winner Matt Bomer.
19.12
CHINESE FOOD IS HERE!
19.11
I still think the Leading Actor in a Comedy Category is a fucking JOKE.
19.09
KATE MCKINNON. The reigning Head Over Feels Supporting Actress in a Comedy, by the way. Fucking recognize.
19.06
Matthew in his three piece blue and black tux WINS. Alright, alright, alright.
19.06
Yooooooo I just spotted Dennis Reynolds. And he looks fly.
19.02
“I don’t want to fight with you, Giuliana.” – Sarah Silverman as she adjusts her boobs and shows us the contents of her clutch.
18.59
Add Sarah Silverman to the list of ladies whose boobs we appreciate.
18.57
I don’t understand the craft-project nature of Kerry Washington’s dress.
18.57
So the Clutch Cam is actually a thing and now Heidi Klum is talking about a Twerk Cam.
18.48
JLD! Hey, sexy lady.
YEP. BRINGING IT BACK.
18.40
And we’re here! All we’ve done so far is comment on people’s boobs so that’s how this night is going to go.
00.06
Between this and a 4 show weekend, I’m ready to pass out! Thanks for joining us folks!
00.04
12 Years a Slave wins and Steve McQueen’s speech honors all people who have been or are still enslaved. We are spent.
23.58
So Gravity takes all the filmmaking awards, but 12 Years wins picture and all is how it should be.
23.53
What’s happening in Leo’s head right now, tbh:
23.51
Alright, alright, alright.
23.44
Cate Blanchett crazies her way into an Academy Award. Let’s make sure to give Woody Allen zero credit for this, mmmkay?
23.37
Congrats, Alfonso, but I still don’t forgive you for Prisoner of Azkaban.
23.29
Spike Jonze: 10/10, would bang.
23.19
LET IT GOOOOOOOOOO LET IT GO! CAN’T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORRRRRE!!
John Travolta never bothered us anyway.
23.17
Despite how the Academy and John Travolta attempted to BUTCHER the live performance, “Let It Go” WILL NOT BE STOPPED.
23.08
And thus Goldie Hawn became her character from First Wives Club.
23.01
WORK IT, BETTE.
23.00
My inner 12 year old girl is dying over Bette singing “Wind Beneath My Wings”.
22.47
Let’s discuss the fact that Sydney Bristow and Sherlock Holmes just shared a stage.
22.44
Benedict is on stage at the Oscars and he’s taking it so SERIOUSLY and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
22.38
If you had “Pink killing it” on your Oscar Bingo card, YOU WIN.
22.37
I just love Pink you guys.
22.27
Bill Murray just shouted out Harold Ramis.
22.27
I love how JLaw went to TOWN on her pizza. And how Brad Pitt made his topping preference known: Pepperoni at the Jolie-Pitt household it is.
22.15
LUPITA TAKES IT. Does this mean the Best Picture race has been decided?
22.12
Ellen has been playing it pretty safe, but we’re here for her selfie game.
22.05
Liza has a blue streak in her hair a la Britta Perry
Sorry not Sorry for 2 Britta gifs in a row.
21.59
If the U2 song wins, it’s all due to context. Because that song is a sonic yawn.
21.38
Kerry Washington was really into that pizza idea. FEED THE PREGNANT WOMAN SOMEONE!
21.34
The Best Live-Action Short goes to one that does NOT star Martin Freeman.
21.32
This is what I did when Kate Hudson walked out in that dress…
Gurrrrrrrrrrl you BROUGHT it.
21.25
I’m so proud of Zef right now.
21.16
FROZEN WINS. Let’s hope this bodes well for “Let It Go”…
21.03
My friend Zane and I have the exact same ballot in our pool, so it comes down to how long the ceremony will run. SO PICK UP THE PACE GUYS.
21.00
Catherine Martin, the only artist who gets any recognition for Baz’s movies.
20.54
LUPITA AND MERYL AND AMY DANCING!
20.49
BRAVO on that speech Jared. Way to start out the show with all my tears.
20.43
Beautiful angel Jordan Catalano takes it home!
20.42
And Jordan Catalano is now an Academy Award Winner.
20.39
Quoth our friend John: “Ellen is cosplaying as the third Doctor.” Yep. We see it.
20.34
Ellen’s sparkly blazer!
20.09
WHY AREN’T WE TALKING TO CELEBRITIES ABC?
19.56
I will never be over how perfectly ombred Jared Leto’s hair is.
19.26
Cate’s dress is very BritBrit in the “Toxic” video…
19.23
KWash that dress just about makes me forgive you for the SAGs.
19.19
Ryan unaware of Bette’s history as an Academy Award nominee.
19.15
Hai Benedict!
19.15
Sage’s actual reaction to Benedict Cumberbatch on the red carpet.
19.07
Jared Leto and June Squibb looking FAIRLY adorable together on the red carpet.
18.59
Ethan Hawke at like, early ’90s levels of hotness.
18.51
Lupita wins Best Dressed, everyone else go home now.
18.49
I mean. Lupita.
18.44
Ryan with the understatement of the century, as he describes 12 Years as “touch to watch.”
18.37
JINX, KIM. YOU OWE ME A COKE.
18.35
Idina is looking regal in green as well. Love that shade on her.
18.34
Idina Menzel in (Elphaba) Green, which is seeming to be the color of the night.
18.17
Viola Davis looking FIERCE in green. Never forget that she should be an Oscar Winner.
18.12
Got my wine. Got my cheese dip. I just don’t have my Sage. WAAAAAAAAAAAH.
22.09
Another one down folks! Thanks to Kelly from TV Mouse for sitting silently in the room with me! And thank YOU for reading! See you at the Oscars!
22.07
My jaw just hit the floor. Ladies and Gents, we have an Oscar Race between American Hustle and 12 Years a Slave
22.00
The Lady Blanchett.
And yep. Three out of Four of these Oscar Races are sealed. It all comes down to Supporting Actress, and to that winner will go Best Picture.
21.49
All right, All right, All right.
Next Stop Oscar.
21.44
BREAKING BAD!!!!!
21.32
Hanks gets stuck with the “In Memoiram” segment.
21.29
As it should be.
21.26
People will never get past their love of the Dowager Countess, even when Anna Gunn deserved it.
21.18
And that dear readers is how you do a lifetime achievement speech.
21.14
Rita doing a victory dance and then promptly cursing.
21.08
Lifetime Achievement to Rita Moreno. So now I’m singing West Side Story, obviously.
20.59
Peggy was robbed.
20.45
Montage on the importance of the Union.
20.39
“We’re going to party now.”
20.35
The comedy categories for SAG are BEYOND boring and lazy.
PARKS AND REC IS THE GREATEST ENSEMBLE ON TV AND YOUR CATEGORY IS INVALID.
20.30
PHIL DUNPHY FINALLY WINS.
And Ty’s speech is FLAWLESS.
20.28
Julia’s speech however is flawless.
20.26
The Comedy Actress Category is INVALID as Amy Poehler is not in it.
20.19
Kerry Washington is presenting which means we have to see her outfit again.
WHY OLIVIA WHY.
20.14
Next Stop…Oscar, Mister Leto.
20.12
20.08
SCREAMING FOR LUPITA.
20.03
I LOVE THESE “AND I’M AN ACTOR” SPEECHES.
20.02
And we begin!
19.57
WE SWITCHED TO TNT JUST IN TIME FOR THIS.
19.52
Emma Thompson is basically in flip flops, except they are definitely Louboutins.
19.50
ONLY TWELVE MINUTES TO GO GUYS.
19.46
ALERT: BENEDICT HAS BEEN SPOTTED ON THE CARPET.
19.43
I do hate how Jen and Ben rarely walk the Red Carpet together.
19.34
ARMPIT VAGINAS.
19.31
I LITERALLY CANNOT WITH WHAT KERRY WASHINGTON IS WEARING.
19.26
Cate Blanchett’s dress is EVERYTHING.
19.19
Prince Aaron Paul. Yeah Bitch.
19.13
Only Matthew can get away with that suit jacket.
19.08
“I feel old and dry tonight.” – Sofia Vergara.
IF SHE IS OLD AND DRY THEN WHAT I AM I?
19.05
It’s all downhill after Jared and Emilia.
18.59
Jordan Catalano and The Khaleesi though.
18.54
Julie Bowen is in orange to match her skin.
18.45
Kelly and I both just shouted “SAWYEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!” at the TV.
18.37
LADY MARY AND HER CLEAVAGE.
18.31
We’re talking fashion again, Giuliana and Kelly? Clearly no one wants to talk to you!
18.24
Vada Sultenfuss looks AMAZING.
18.22
Imma need to drink MUCH more if I am going to endure this dearth of celebrities.
18.20
IT’S 6:19 AND WE HAVE YET TO SEE A CELEBRITY. WHERE ARE THEY??
18.17
Hey Giuliana, being in one movie doesn’t even make you a MINOR movie star.
Sorry, T-Swift. You know I love you.
18.13
Shocked by Ariel Winter’s Cleavage. Isn’t she only 16???
Also, my boobs hurt on her behalf.
18.09
I can’t handle Ross Matthews for 2 hours.
18.06
I love how Seacrest is clearly too important for the SAGs.
17.45
T-Minus 15 minutes. Let’s all try and figure out what the most cringe worthy thing Giuliana will say on the red carpet. Remember last year when she called Julie Bowen and Sofia Vergara “The Best Looking Oreo She’d Ever Seen”.
23.02
Cheers to Steve McQueen and 12 Years a Slave. Looks like the Oscars are going to be a 12 Years/American Hustle face-off.
23.00
AND WE MADE IT TO THE END. SEE YOU GUYS AT THE SAGS. We’re spent.
22.53
McConaughey made it happen, just like his mama told him too.
22.49
Cate Blanchett + Vodka = my new OTP.
22.39
Sorry, I loved American Hustle, but Her…well, I’ll let this gif speak for itself.
22.29
LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Beyond classy speech. You are a gentleman and a scholar.
We’ll never let go.
22.23
Not that we don’t love B-99, but we’re INCREDIBLY shocked.
22.19
This win does not excuse what you did to Prisoner of Azkaban, Alfonso.
NEVER FORGET.
22.12
I know he makes a practice of not going to Awards Shows, but REALLY Woody Allen? Not even showing for the DeMille award?
SIDE EYE.
21.58
JUSTICE SERVED. AMY POEHLER HAS A GOLDEN GLOBE. REPEAT: AMY POEHLER HAS A GOLDEN GLOBE.
21.57
Frozen winning does NOT make up for losing Original Song.
21.51
I was led to believe Cumberbatch would be here. I AM NOT PLEASED.
21.39
NEVER FORGET.
21.36
ANDY SAMBERG, YOU JUST WON A GOLDEN GLOBE, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NEXT?!
P.S. WE ARE FREAKING OUT
21.29
Emma Thompson is Emma Thompson and Emma Thompson gives no cares. #queen
21.23
Jordan Catalano takes a Golden Globe! Could an Oscar be next? #eatyourheartoutAngelaChase
21.20
Upset about Tatiana and KWash? Us too.
21.10
21.09
HURRAH AMY ADAMS! (will this aid her on the way to an Oscar Nod?)
21.07
Heeeeeeeey RDJ
21.04
KILLING ME WITH THESE WINNERS TONIGHT. #oldpeople
21.01
NOT OVER IT.
20.55
ELSA WAS FUCKING ROBBED.
20.52
But who HASN’T partied on a boat in St. Bart’s with P.Diddy?
20.49
Crying over the real Philomena.
20.43
AW YEAH BREAKING BAD!
20.39
Cranston takes it for the final season of Breaking Bad. But WHY did they sit the Cranst in the cheap seats?
20.37
HONESTLY, Margot Robbie. Have you hit that, Leo?
20.33
WHY IS THIS COMMERCIAL QUOTING THE BEST MONOLOGUE FROM DEAD POETS SOCIETY.
20.28
We can pretend that award was also for Mad Men, right?
20.26
YAY PEGGY OLSEN!!!!!!!!
20.24
Behind the Candelabra wins and no one is shocked.
I’M BORED ALREADY BRING BACK AMY AND TINA.
20.22
Heeeeeeeeeeeey Mark Ruffalo!
20.20
GET OFF THE STAGE JACKIE!
Also Monica Potter wuz robbed.
20.16
At least Monica Potter got that nomination this year.
20.12
Guys, J-Law is AMAZING, but really…are we doing too much too soon?
20.10
“I’m talkin to you, Somali pirates. I am de captain now.”
20.06
FLAWLESS CLOONEY JOKE LADIES!
20.03
Mesmerized by how hot Amy and Tina look.
20.01
AND WE FINISHED SHERLOCK JUST IN TIME AND OMG TINA FEY!
23.14
Final Verdict: That could have been MUCH worse. And despite our snark, we sincerely hope NBC does something like this again. West Side Story next Christmas?
22.57
They are hiding behind giant planters?
22.46
EDELWEISS FINALLY.
22.41
My internet is super slow tonight. Sorry for the lack of updates. But we HAVE been tweeting!
21.46
QUEEN AUDRA MCDONALD.
21.38
Standing ovation for Kurt hitting the High F.
21.31
My kingdom for some chemistry.
21.29
THAT BLACK DRESS.
21.21
I’m sorry but, no, Stephen Moyer.
21.13
People. It’s called diction. Use it.
21.02
Is it time for Laura Benanti??
20.59
She barely made it thru “Lonely Goatherd” but to her credit that song IS exhausting.
20.53
Rolf’s outfit though.
20.39
We are living for Kurt.
20.30
My body INSTANTLY rejected Stephen Moyer as Captain Von SexyPants.
I DEMAND A RECASTING WITH HUGH LAURIE.
20.20
Even we can admit she NAILED “My Favorite Things” vocally.
20.17
Pausing after every two words does NOT equal emoting.
20.12
Carrie’s Acting Though.
20.10
I mean weren’t you bitches JUST singing while complaining about Maria singing in the Abbey?
20.06
Carrie needs to stop scooping her notes or this is gonna be a long night.
20.03
This looks like a cold open from The Muppet Show.
20.01
HERE WE GO!
19.27
Chinese food is here!! Is this thing on?
23.15
And as we hoped, Breaking Bad triumphs. And speaking of that, it’s time for me to watch tonight’s episode. Thanks for joining us!!
23.08
Make that 4 in a row for Modern Family.
23.00
“You’re only as good as your other hand.”
“Do you want the bottom or the top.”
I’m not okay with Michael Douglas making sex jokes, YET I AM.
22.47
Sage just said “Remember when Mark Harmon died on The West Wing and they played Hallelujah and it was AWFUL?”
22.46
We think there are only 4 awards left. Light at the end of the tunnel!
22.34
Sighting of National Treasure Allison Janney in a GORGEOUS dress. Too bad she is stuck doing that awful backstage patter.
22.25
THEY HAD TO HAVE EDIE FALCO DO THE JAMES TRIBUTE.
22.22
SO EXCITED THEY ARE SHOWING CHOREOGRAPHY!!! THAT WAS AMAZING.
21.52
Still bitter about Amy Poehler, and probably will be for the rest of my life.
21.48
Oh, I see we are back at the Grammys.
21.47
We screamed so much over Jeff Daniels that Sage kicked my dog in the face. Also, I called Jeff Daniels winning an Emmy right after the pilot aired.
21.27
NATHAN FILLION!
21.25
FINALLY NPH IS SINGING.
21.16
HELL YES ANNA GUNN!
21.09
OMG THERE ARE STILL TWO HOURS LEFT.
21.04
I get that it was Sir Elton and everything but what was the point of that?
21.00
I’m sorry, I thought this was the Emmys not the Grammys.
20.48
Parsons AGAIN. So much for the 30 Rock nostalgia.
20.47
“Laughter Kills Innocent People.” Which is obviously why Parks and Recreation wasn’t nominated. It would kill too many people.
20.40
Reminder that Amy Poehler doesn’t have an Emmy.
20.34
Guys…what if Amy WINS??
20.31
OMG Could the Modern Family reign be over??? Side Note: I used to go to church with Tony Hale pre-Arrested Development.
20.26
Tina Fey is winning the Emmys so far.
20.25
Whoops accidentally posting into the wrong live blog. I’m the worst.
20.20
HUGE upset in Supporting Actress and Merritt Weaver knew it. Probably one of the most endearing acceptances ever.
20.17
And just like that Amy and Tina saved the opening.
20.07
“There’s too many shows. I’m never going to finish.”
GPOY TO END ALL GPOYS.
20.06
I’ll never get tired of looking at NPH in a three-piece suit.
20.00
Me and Sage when I turned to CBS and there was football still on:
19.57
WE JUST CLICKED OVER TO CBS AND THE FOOTBALL GAME STILL ISN’T OVER.
19.54
Sofia Vergara don’t need those expensive holdy-in underwear. That’s all real, baby.
19.52
Sofia’s boobs though. I just want to rest my head on them.
19.44
Julie Bowen’s going a little pro-ana in this Seacrest interview.
19.38
What’s the deal with these toilet paper dresses?
19.34
Will Arnett remains dead to me.
19.00
Stop trying to pluck memes from Tumblr, E! This isn’t your division.
18.52
Sage’s LEGIT reaction to the Glama-zoom:
18.48
Tina is up for the Golden Globes again this year. Your move, Poehler.
18.47
Sally Draper’s dress was FABULOUS…until they panned down.
18.44
Ty, I feel like you wore that tux last year.
18.41
“You said, ‘Anything can happen.’ What do you MEAN by that?” – Giuliana, asking the tough, dumb questions.
18.37
TINA FEY IN COLOR AND ROCKING SOME AMAZING BOOBIES.
18.30
Dear Eric Stonestreet and Ryan Seacrest, Congrats on the most dull conversation ever!
18.27
ANNA GUNN YOU LOOK AMAZING.
18.15
Sorry, I’m very bored by Zooey’s dress.
18.09
They’ve taken the Mani-Cam one step further with the Mani-Gram. Which I first typed as mammogram. Whoops. But you KNOW they are only one step away from that…
18.00
And here we go!! Who is gonna be the first on the red carpet?!?!
23.24
And that’s a wrap!!! Thanks for sticking with us! I’m off to watch Breaking Bad now!! -K
23.19
THIS SONG IS STILL A RIP OFF OF SARA BAREILLES.
23.16
JGL, WE LOVE YOU!!!
23.02
30 Minutes left. I just want to watch Breaking Bad y’all.
22.44
Our reaction to everyone in the “Artists to watch”…WHO??
22.34
Our reaction to Kevin Hart:
22.25
…and we’re spent.
21.59
IT’S TIME!!!!!!!!
21.54
Okay Ryan Lewis and Macklemore, we’re sold.
21.39
This sums up our feelings on Kanye..
21.37
BLESS YOU TUMBLR FOR MAKING THIS HAPPEN ALREADY.
21.22
NO REALLY WHY IS MILEY TOUCHING HERSELF??? DON’T RUIN THIS SONG FOR US.
21.19
WE ARE TERRIFIED OF MILEY. So is BritBrit.
21.12
MAYBE NOT ALL THE WAY SOLO.
(Also Sage accidentally slapped my boob just now)
21.03
How we feel about Gaga right now:
21.00
Really T-Swift? You’re happy you are the only woman nominated for video of the year??
20.58
Divergent looks pretty awesome. AND QUEEN KATE WINSLET.
20.44
BIKE TRICKS??!?!
*eye roll*
20.35
Sage every time Justin comes on screen:
20.27
Ariana Grande has NO sense of rhythm.
20.23
The performance we’ve been WAITING for, Sway??? NOPE.
But seriously, who is this Austin person??
20.18
Since when do they give out Moon Men on the Red Carpet???
#IMMALETYOUFINISH
20.13
JUSTIN JUST MENTIONED *NSYNC.
20.07
Our bodies ARE ready for the performance of “Blurred Lines”
20.02
WE DON’T UNDERSTAND MILEY CYRUS (NOW) YOU GUYS. #partyintheUSA
19.20
40 minutes till the PRE-SHOW and we’re already yawning.
14.44
Remember when we thought that there was a chance Moffat would consider a woman or person of color for this role? LOL. But at least Peter Capaldi is the shit.
14.32
“Doctor Who belongs to all of us.” You’re buttering us up, Peter, AND IT’S WORKING.
14.29
I think the BBC needs to loosen up some of its language restrictions for Peter.
14.28
HE STILL LOOKS LIKE HUGH LAURIE WHICH JUST MAKES ME WANT HUGH LAURIE. -K
14.27
And the bookies were right! Peter Capaldi is the 12th Doctor!
14.26
OH GOD OH GOD
14.24
Accurate gif is accurate. -K
14.22
This guy just called him “Peter Eccleston,” doesn’t Head Over Feels deserve that spot on the couch more than him?
14.22
A moment of silence for Donna Noble! -K
14.20
OMG GUYS IT’S WILLLLLLF.
14.19
Also STOP PLAYING ROSE’S THEME YOU BASTARDS. -K
14.19
“When Christopher Eccleston walked out of that TARDIS, I said ‘YES.'”
14.18
NINE I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!!! -K
14.17
“The next Doctor has entered the building.”
14.14
MY BEAUTIFUL IDIOT, I MISS YOU ALREADY.
14.14
We WILL get footage from the 50th today, RIGHT???
–K
14.13
The next GUY. GUY.
14.12
Matt Smith says that he always knew he wanted his portrayal of the Doctor to be “quite physical.”
14.08
Yes, they’re going to wait until the last minute to make the announcement. But, LBR, if this were an American series, the announcement would be padded with about two hours of filler.
14.07
Five is looking GOOOOOOOD. –K
14.06
A million bucks says 12 is coming out of that TARDIS. –K
14.05
And we’re live! Spotting some amazing cosplay in this audience. Wish we were there!
14.04
Me right now: 
–K
14.03
THAT WINK.
14.02
Also, our entire timeline a minute ago was filled with “I don’t wanna go.” It was painfully beautiful.
14.00
It’s time, it’s time, it’s time! Are we at all prepared for this? I’m guessing no.
13.56
The song is ending but the story never ends. WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO US?? –K
13.56
“This song is ending, but the story never ends.” Onwards, Whovians!
13.52
BUT SERIOUSLY, if you haven’t watched Broadchurch, you owe it to yourself to correct that mistake this week.
13.51
Praise Rassilon, Kimmie made it home in time!
13.46
“Was she happy in the end?” “Yes, yes she was. Were you?”
13.42
I’m not emotionally prepared to see the Rose/Ten New Year’s Eve scene again, let alone get a new Doctor today.
13.40
Radio Times now reporting that new Doctor is “a recognizable name.” HMMMM. *strokes beard*
13.34
With “End of Time” airing before this live announcement, I feel like the 12th Doctor is my reward for making it through my bb Ten’s regeneration again.
13.24
These auto-post issues aren’t cute, WordPress. Today is a pretty important day for the interwebs.
13.07
Testing, 1-2-3. Are we auto-posting to Twitter?
12.59
Someone on Tumblr said we should tag our entries as spoilers because some people only want to find out who the next guy is when Matt regenerates.
23.58
It’s midnight and there’s just one thing left to say: ARGO FUCK YOURSELF. *mic drop* –S
23.48
Meryl Streep PREPARES HER SHIT. No struggling with an envelope for this flawless queen. –S
23.46
A friendly reminder that J. Law somehow escaped the clutches of the Blue Collar Comedy conglomerate and now has an Academy Award. –S http://static.tvguide.com/MediaBin/Galleries/Shows/A_F/Bi_Bp/Bill_Engvall_Show/season3/bill-engvall-show40.jpg
23.44
What if every time I fell, Hugh Jackman and Jean Dujardin came to my aid? –S
23.40
WELCOME BACK TO MY EYEBALLS, JEAN, YOU SEXY BITCH. –S
23.35
A well-deserved standing O for the ADORABLE AND PRECIOUS Ang Lee. –S
23.12
Seth McFarlane just called Adele fat. Everybody grab your pitchforks. Tonight we march on the Dolby Theater. #vivalarevolution –S
23.02
LIKE THE COOOOOORNERS OF MY MIND. –S
23.01
STREISAND, BITCHES. –S
22.47
Life is sad enough, you guys. Do we really need Amour? –S
22.34
And now, national treasure Jennifer Lawrence. –S
22.21
Here we go. Gird your loins. #Hathaway2013 –S
22.19
That Sound of Music joke is the only thing Seth has done all night that’s even made me crack a smile. –S
22.16
“You are rough-looking, sir.” Overheard at our Oscar viewing party. –S
22.07
Our whole timeline is fanning themselves. #AaronTveit –S
21.55
I see what you did there with that “Hairspray” reaction cut, producers. That lady had a fabulous haircape. –S
21.52
How does the @Michael_Haneke twitter feel about this? –S
21.43
I have lost any and all ability to can with that Jessica Chastain “joke.” Get out of my face, McFarlane. You are scum. –S
21.42
GO HOME SETH.
21.27
SAGE I WAS JUST SAYING THE SAME THING RE: ILLUSION NETTING -K
21.25
I thought that illusion fabric was her skin for a few seconds that were FUCKING TERRIFYING. –S
21.23
IS IT TIME FOR ADELE??? -K
21.22
Seth just shouted-out all the bulimics in the house tonight. #GOHOME #YOUARETHEWORST –S
21.17
After the boob song, I guess we should just be thankful that Seth only hinted that Jennifer Aniston was once a stripper. –S
21.12
ARE THEY SERIOUSLY PLAYING PEOPLE OFF WITH THE JAWS THEME? -K
21.12
Piscine, looking sexy in those glasses. I’d be the WIFE of Pi, if you know what I’m sayin.’ I’ll stop. –S
21.10
So Life of Pi is clearly sweeping the technical awards. Interesting. -K
21.07
THIS MAN’S HAIR IS OUR REWARD FOR ENDURING THAT OPENING MONOLOGUE. –S
21.06
Look at these fine-ass motherfuckers. #Avengers –S
20.59
There was a short film called “Head Over Heels”. Just saying. -K
20.56
ABC, all ad time in the world won’t make me care about this mob widow show. –S
20.51
I’m sorry…wasn’t this a retread of his perf in Inglorious Basterds? I love him BUT COME ON.
20.51
I AM A PSYCHIC, YA’LL. He’s wonderful. Best part of the Django. –S
20.50
I would 100% approve a Waltz upset. –S
20.48
This category could determine my Oscar Pool. -K
20.46
We’re at FIFTEEN MINUTES, FOLKS. Remember this when the show runs 45 minutes long. –S
20.46
THIS OPENING IS RUNNING A BIT LONG Y’ALL. -K
20.44
If we could digitally remove Seth from that DanRad/JGL number, then it would be perfect. –S
20.44
DYING OVER DAN RAD AND J-GORD. -K
20.41
Just checking in – this has been going on for ELEVEN MINUTES. GIVE OUT AN AWARD, JESUS CHRIST. –S
20.40
CHARLIZE AND CHANNING. -K
20.40
I need a record-scratch and then “Pony.” #ChanningTatum –S
20.38
YES WHY DIDN’T THEY? #TinaAndAmy
20.36
Everything about this is painful. Amy and Tina to host next year? Yes? Yes. –S
20.34
Jamie Foxx’s face was just like, “nope.” –S
20.32
YOU DO NOT MAKE FUN OF THAT SEXY FRENCHMAN!! -K
20.31
Guys, I kind of hate him. -K
20.30
Siiiiigh. We’ll give this guy a shot I guess.” –S
20.24
I…I don’t even know what to say. #ReneeZellweger –S
20.19
Sorry guys, got distracted by guacamole. I’m back in the game now. –S
20.19
DELIVERY.COM FUCKED UP OUR ORDER. -K
20.13
Waiting for Chinese Food delivery in Astoria. It’s been an hour since we ordered. -K
20.07
I’m starting a rumor that the mani-cam causes cancer. –S
20.06
Clooney why the beard? I’d still do you though. #commonlawtop5 -K
20.03
JEN ANISTON LOOKS AMAZING. Rachel Green forever.
19.53
DOES THAT MEAN HIDDLES IS HERE? –S
19.51
SAGE THAT MOMENT WAS EVERYTHING. -K
19.51
I’m surprised it’s taken this long for someone to pick up Kristin Chenoweth. –S
19.50
HUGH!!!
19.50
ABC…advertising that that your new show is from the writer of the Twilight series does NOT intrigue me. -K
19.43
You guys, I love me some Robin Roberts. WELCOME BACK GIRL.
19.42
Charlieze is werking EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. Remember when she almost married Michael Bluth? –S
19.40
Excuse you, Lara Spencer. –S
19.39
*NOT KNOW. #liveblogfail
19.38
Shout out to Bradley Cooper’s mom, because if I ever get to go to the Oscars, I am TOTALLY wearing some kind of boa situation. –S
19.38
HOW DID I NOW KNOW THAT CHENO WAS DOING RED CARPET INTERVIEWS?? -K
19.33
JGL is just delight in human form. He’s wearing mismatched socks. Stop it. –S
19.32
We just flipped to ABC here in Astoria. Is that what you are watching Sage?
19.31
Reese’s baby body agrees with her. Damn girl. –S
19.30
ANNIE I AM NOT OVER THE FACT THAT THIS IS THE DRESS YOU CHOSE TO WIN AN OSCAR IN. -K
19.27
BRADLEY COOPER. Your hair and beard. I know it’s for a movie, but still. -K
19.25
This Oscar Road Trip business is a complete waste of time. Except for that half second of Richard Simmons. –S
19.22
I feel like DanRad’s mama. I am always so proud of him. –S
19.21
Catherine Zeta-Jones is kind of delightfully unhinged. And she’s “perfooooorming.” –S
19.19
ANNE’S DRESS THOUGH.
19.17
That’s a fresh, fierce, fabulous color on Gabrielle Union. –S
19.17
J-Law should just carry K. Chen around like a baby. –S
19.15
NO ANNE HATHAWAY NO NO NO. #hideous
19.12
Daaaaaaamn, Little Q. Your family is pretty fine. –S
19.09
SAGE YOU’RE HERE!!! -K
19.07
I’M HERE. I’M HERE. WHAT DID I MISS? –S
19.00
HELLO CATHERINE ZETA JONES AND HER BOOBIES. #wow
18.55
“YOUR ASS IS MINE, STONE.” Jennifer, you are flawless.
18.44
FLAILING OVER J-LAW.
18.42
OMG there are still almost 2 hours left of this.
18.36
Reese looks amazing!! Hello baby boobs!
18.30
OMG E JUST SAID OCTAVIA SPENCER WAS VIOLA DAVIS. #racist
18.30
Channing totes just grabbed his wife’s butt on the red carpet and I died.
18.26
Amy Adams’ hair y’all. #no
18.16
Jessica dressed like an Oscar. WILL SHE WIN?
18.10
CHASTAIN SIGHTING AND SHE LOOKS AMAZING.
18.08
I NEED CELEBS.
17.51
First ManiCam sighting. EVERYONE DRINK!
17.44
No really. WHEN ARE THE CELEBS GETTING HERE? -K
17.29
Here we go folks…RED CARPET TIME!
13.08
And I don’t run out of wine.
13.07
i hope I win my oscar pool
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