Season 3, Episode 8: “Vermont is for Lovers Too”
Posted by Sage
I’m too infuriated to even write an introduction for this post, so let’s just get to it.
“Our daughter’s been asking about you.” Why is Olivia’s mother locked up? Why does Papa Pope look almost afraid of her?
“I’ve been sitting in this cell for over 20 years.” Well, shit.
“I’ll do it if I have to, but it’s much more fun to pretend I’m your boyfriend.” While Batman and Robin are dark and twisty even for this show, they still might be just a smidge healthier than Olitz.
“Track down whoever killed the security guard.” And there’s no way Huck won’t get that done, so you better be getting your affairs in order, Quinn.
Cyrus is throwing James at Sally’s husband. What could possibly go wrong?
Candace’s laptop has been stolen! And it’s got tons of important campaign information on it, we assume.
Mellie is all starry-eyed rewatching the interview when Fitz defends her.
At least Olivia ignored his call. And went one step further by also destroying her phone.
OLIVIA’S MOM RIPS INTO HER OWN WRISTS WITH HER TEETH. WHAT. IN. THE. EVERLOVING. FUCK.
Quinn runs into Jake, while she’s being “proactive.”
“She chewed her own wrists, sir.” Okay, then I suppose Daddy has a pretty decent reason to be slightly wary of her.
Abby and David have a little lovers quarrel about searching Reston’s office for Candace’s laptop. They’re just so beautiful.
“Don’t the gays just have all the fun?” If I’d been as mistreated by every man in my life as Mellie has, I’d be on my way to a lesbian commune right now.
“I owe you?! After what you did, I don’t owe you anything.” GOOD GIRL.
“So, are you here to babysit me now?” “Maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you stay up past your bedtime.” Candace and Harrison have sexual tension and I SHIP IT INSTANTLY.
The Gladiators are getting closer and closer to identifying Quinn. Run, bitch. RUN.
“We have no statement to make at this time.” BAM. MIC DROP. Marcus 2014.
“Bring over a nice bottle of bourbon. Have a drink or two. He’ll open right up.” Hee.
“That’s your daughter. That’s Olivia.” He’s withhold every SHRED of information about her for 20 years? No wonder she’s cray.
Fitz blackmails Olivia to get her to Vermont.
“You know who I am, Olivia.”
“This house is yours. Ours. I had it built for us.”
UGH OLIVIA WHYYYYYYYYY
It’s so romantic that Liv’s MARRIED LOVER – who’s so obsessed with her that he summons her BY FORCE if she refuses to talk to him – built her a house UNDER HIS WIFE’S NOSE that all memories of the several hundred people that he murdered (including her own mother, she believes) are completely erased? Accio, self-respect!
“You kill me and you’ll have another handler by the time my body hits the ground.”
“My god, you just want to eat her.”
Maybe YOU want to eat her. Can I get a Hannibal/Scandal crossover fic up in here?
Well it’s been a while since we’ve had a graphic Olitz sex scene, and we’ve got to keep the censors on their toes. Carry on, you crazy kids. Tony’s obviously been working on that six-pack all season and just DYING to show it off.
“Don’t sell the house. Not yet.” One good bang and Olivia is back to dreaming about having 2.5 kids and a picket fence with the nation’s biggest coward. I keep saying that she’s better than this, but maybe she’s not.
Candace faked the break-in. Oh gurrrl. Leave the scheming to Pope & Associates.
But gets to have grown-up naked time with Harrison. So really, who’s the real winner here?
“My husband’s not your husband Mellie.” You wanna start this thing, Cyrus? Even you won’t be able to control it.
Jake knows about Olivia and the President. Way to burn that bridge, Olivia. He’s 30000% done.
Josie has to fire Candace to stay in the race.
“Or we could just cut to the chase and have a good time…” So Jack Coleman is now forever typecast as closeted politicians?
And some flashbacks if you forget what happened 20 minutes ago. HEY, I THINK THIS WAS SOME KIND OF SET-UP.
Josie takes the fall and drops out of the race. She tells Olivia she wasn’t ready, but clearly she was. Well, ready to do everything but sell her soul. Josie, we hardly knew ye.
Mellie wants to try and get Olivia on the campaign again. Josie’s the only lady in this episode who’s showing any backbone.
“I’m just gonna jump in the shower first.” I’m thinking they staged those pictures. But still, Cyrus definitely deserves to be fucked with right back. And fucking with each other is the foundation of James and Cyrus’s marriage anyway, so.
Olivia’s mom stabbed the doctor and escaped. Was she a psychopath BEFORE she got locked up, or did 20 years of solitary MAKE her crazy? Either way, I don’t want to share a subway car with her.
“Huck?” “Yeah. And we need to find out who you’re working for.” It’s all fun and games until the torture equipment comes out.
“Hi, Livvie.” BAAAAHHH.
So Olitz is back on (HEAVY SIGH), James and Cyrus are back at each other’s throats, and Olivia’s mom is even more petrifying than her father.
An episode like THAT and then we get a BYE WEEK? Your homework: discuss it over your family Thanksgiving, because I KNOW all your moms, grandmas, and aunts are fellow Scandal stans. Kim will be back here in December to take you through the next juicy episode!