“My Game, My Rules” – Our Favorite Britney Spears Deep Cuts

Posted by Sage

It’s Godney, y’all!

We’ve been through so much with her, you guys. And we’re all still standing. Whatever her issues, Britney has contributed hugely to the pop music canon and I don’t just mean your Womanizers and your Slave For Yous. We’re talking eight full studio albums also full of tracks that Carson Daly didn’t drill into your brain every day after school in the late ’90s. Today, we’re celebrating our choice Britney deep cuts from throughout her career. So pull on your red latex jumpsuit, drape a boa around your shoulders, and let’s dance.

“What It’s Like To Be Me” (ft. Justin Timberlake)

RIP Pinky and Stinky. You were too beautiful for this world.

No question about it, our first selection had to be Britney’s one and only collabo with then-flame Justin Timberlake. Justin backs Britney up on this one and I wish this weren’t the only track in her oeuvre with his smooth falsetto layered behind her sassy lead vocal. He beatboxes, she tells him not to “get it twisted.” It’s sonic love.

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“Baby, take the time to realize
I’m not the kind to sacrifice
The way I am”

“Autumn Goodbye”

Everybody ought to know this track, because it was the B-Side to Britney’s break-out single, “Baby One More Time.” You know, the one you had to go to Sam Goody to purchase immediately after you read the Britney spotlight in the Delia’s catalog? This is vintage Brit – long before she told us she actually wasn’t this innocent – saying a sweet goodbye to her summer fling. But in, like, a dancey way.

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“Red leaves and blue tomorrows
Time will give back the love that we shared
On the time that we borrowed”

“Don’t Go Knockin’ On My Door”

In college, my roommate broke up with her boyfriend, who I loathed. And for a good three days afterwards, I forced a playlist on her that was just this and “Stronger” over and over and over again.

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“I can see
It’s no mystery
It’s so clear to me
What we had is all history”

“Anticipating”

If Oops…I Did It Again was the big girl record where Britney pulled out all the available stops to convince us that she was a real sex symbol and not just pigtailed catnip for pedophiles, then Britney was the party album. The clean kind of party though, where you “skip on the drinks, head to the floor.” Sure, Brit.

This Patchwork Barbie stage outfit wasn’t even a good idea in 2001. But the sparkly “Anticipating” was always the right choice for driving around with your best friend, pretending that you had somewhere cooler to go than the closest Wal-mart.

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“Move it baby over here
So we can set it off”

“Cinderella”

Britney is our girl’s strongest, most eclectic album – the sweet spot between her cutesy early efforts and the obvious strain behind all her “comeback” records. Give it another listen and tell me it doesn’t work from top to bottom. And then watch Crossroads, because why not?

My head canon has always been that Britney is singing “Cinderella” to the same guy who was on the receiving end of “Born to Make You Happy.” Because that guy sucks and he should learn to do his own laundry or at least hire a service or something and maybe the first red flag should have been that he actually called you “Cinderella” to your face because that’s messed up. Anyway, CINDA-RELLA’S GOT TA GAAAOO.

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“From time to time I’d try to tell just what was on my mind.
You’d tell me ‘Not today.’
‘Come back, do that.
Where’s Cinderella at?’
Was all you had to say”

“Shadow”

Ballads were never Britney’s strong suit, mainly because her voice couldn’t stand up to the scrutiny. But “Shadow” from 2003’s In The Zone works because of its excruciating sincerity. And frankly – with her troubled past – we buy what Britney’s selling when she laments a distant lover; her sunnier slow jams are best taken with a grain of salt.

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“Your body’s warm
But you are not
You give a little
Not a lot”

“Outrageous”

This banger is still on most of my gym mixes because I need Britney to constantly be reminding me what exactly about her life is “outrageous.” (Sex life, shopping sprees, sexy jeans. You know, the basics.)

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“Media, over here
Comin’ through like a world premiere
Trench coat and my underwear
Let’s go with this freak show”

“Amnesia”

I’m still not entirely convinced that “Amnesia” isn’t a song about a magical night where a girl gets roofied by the man of her dreams. But the yo-ou-ouuu’s are really fun to sing.

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“I forgot my name, I forgot my telephone number
If he wanna see me, he don’t even know it
I forgot my address, damsel in distress
I forgot my boyfriend was the one that had bought me this rock”

“Phonography”

One reason behind my lifelong love of pop music is its unabashed commitment to metaphor. Phone sex is our topic, though – if this song were a few years younger – Britney would probably be singing about sexting and Snapchat not “Bluetooth” and “hands-free.” Regardless, the lyrics of “Phonography” are basically a list of phone-related euphemisms, all sure to entice Britney’s object, known in the song (wonderfully) as “Mr. Telephone Man.” Also, if anyone can ID which sex act Brit is referring to when she plays “with her ringtone,” please share it with the class. Thanks.

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“Then I let my mind roam
Playin’ with my ringtone
He got service, I’ve got service
Baby, we can talk all night (Go)”

“(Drop Dead) Beautiful” (ft. Sabi)

What a relief that Femme Fatale came out before everyone but me tacitly agreed that all pop had to take its cues from – barf – EDM.

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“You must be B-I-G
Because you got me hypnotized
Whoever said that beauty’s on the inside is a liar”

“Passenger”

Britney Jean pulled in some pretty dismal reviews; it’s terribly uneven. (And I can’t discuss the inexplicable British accent on “Work Bitch.”) But this is the most vocal-forward track I’ve heard from her in at least a decade. And I’ll take some missteps if they prove that the legendary Miss Britney Spears is actually participating in her own life again. “Passenger” is a strange choice for someone who’s had control of her own affairs legally wrenched away from her, but I suppose it could be bizarrely cathartic.

Ballin’-est Britney Lyric: 

“It’s hard to jump with no net
But I’ve jumped and got no regret
My co-pilot, yeah that’s right
Now I can just enjoy the ride”

Your turn, Britney army. What are favorite obscure Britney classics? Let us know in the comments.