“Crane on the Brain” – Sleepy Hollow Recap

Posted by Kim

Sleepy Hollow 2 x 05

“The Weeping Lady”

Hello from somewhere over Chicago, SleepyHeads!  That’s right, this week’s recap is brought to you from my flight to Los Angeles where Sage and I will be attending CommuniCon 3 this weekend.  I just paid $22 for 3 hours of in-flight wi-fi…so let’s get this done, shall we?

(Edit: heeeeeey I’m finishing this on the way BACK from the con, cause I don’t know what I was thinking regarding being able to write once I was reunited with all my friends!)

Earlier this week, Sage gChatted me saying. “I think I’m FINALLY on your level when it comes to Tom Mison and Ichabod Crane.  I mean I’ve always appreciated him, but I spent most of this week’s episode making inhuman noises whenever he was on-screen.” (That’s right, partner.  I’m selling you out.) My response? “WELCOME TO MY LEVEL IT IS SO NICE HERE.”  What could have brought on Sage’s new level of love?  Could it be the fact that she is currently reading The Secret Journal of Ichabod Crane that we scored in the NYCC press session? (I plan on starting said journal once I finish this post, and we’re planning on doing a review because it is damn delightful.) Could it have been the fact that I was currently in the Sleepy Hollow tumblr tag looking for the perfect gifs for this recap and was sending her all the hot Ichabod ones?  Or could it have just been the fact that much like the Sleepy writing staff in this week’s episode that Sage finally had to give in to the fact that IchaTom is just too damn irresistible?

I think it is a combination of all three.  Crane on the Brain indeed.

“The Weeping Lady” delved into the consequences of Ichabod being too dreamy for his own good when it comes to the women in his life.  It also threw a serious wrench into S.S. Ichatrina.  Let’s get right to it shall we?

#Creepy Hollow

This week’s monster was straight of a classic ghost story: the vengeful spirit of a jilted woman who does nothing but weep for her lost love takes her anger out on innocent women, pulling them through a magic portal of black water and drowning them in a river.  After this spirit kills the delightful Miss Caroline (RIP Ichabod’s Tailor, what is he going to do for clothes now?) and then attacks Abbie (OH WE’RE GONNA GET TO THAT) it becomes clear that this spirit’s victims have one thing in common: Ichabod Crane.  Yes, because this is Sleepy Hollow, the spirit obviously had a tie to Ichabod’s past.  This woman was not Betsy Ross or Martha Washington or any other historical lady (kind of surprised they didn’t go there actually) but Ichabod’s intended wife Mary, who had sailed from England to bring Ichabod home to marry her.  Mary is (putting it lightly) a bit obsessive over Ichabod (whooooooooo wouldn’t be?).  She has a history of fearing every woman who ever looked at him, convinced that they would steal him away.   She arrives in Sleepy Hollow convinced that he has been pining for her as she has for him and seeing him in with Katrina Von Tassel sends her over the edge.  Despite the fact that Katrina is betrothed to his best friend, Mary insists that Katrina and Ichabod are in love (perhaps SHE is the witch) and she loses her shit when he refuses to come home.  But then…she mysteriously relents, sending Ichabod a letter freeing him from their engagement, and she is never heard from again.

Until she starts attacking any woman that Ichabod Crane holds affection for that is.

Thanks to Katrina’s letter to him going missing whilst saving Abbie (First of all…priorities.  Secondly, that missive was absolutely worthless.  ISN’T KATRINA SUPPOSED TO BE A DAMN SPY? Why did her letter contain nothing but “Hey boo…I bewitched this raven to be a messenger.  Still chilling at Abraham’s not spying. But remember I love you bunches! XOXO, Katrina), Mary finds out that Katrina is not only alive and well, but Ichabod’s wife.  Naturally she is next on the hit list.  Katrina FINALLY uses some of her witchy powers to escape drowning, just as Ichabod and Abbie arrive to save her.  Then, along with Abbie, who immediately volunteers (“We’re all out of witches, how about a witness?” #QUEEN), Katrina casts a spell to bring Mary back to human form.  It works, and Mary is mortally wounded, collapsing into Ichabod’s arms.  He holds her, because he is a goddamn prince and also because he knows that she won’t hurt him (at which point I immediately started singing “A Little Fall of Rain”).  He asks her WHY she is doing this…WHY is she not only still in Sleepy Hollow, but attacking the women he cared for.  She looks at him mournfully…and then points to Katrina.  Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Everyone has a terrifying ex that tries to drown the people you love, right?  I give the Creepy of this episode 4/10 Sandmen.

#WHATTHEDAMNHELLHollow

Immediately following Mary’s accusation, I tweeted “Tired of your shit, Katrina.”  I am…so so tired of it.  I don’t WANT to hate her…but she’s not doing herself any favors right now.  Not ONCE has she done anything to further Abbie and Ichabod’s cause…she has only served to impede it.  She’s dishonest and secretive and not to be trusted…and it seems that Ichabod is finally seeing the light.

Katrina knows she’s had the moment Mary points to her…and Ichabod is horrified.  She tries to brush it off, saying that this was neither the time nor the place to discuss it (kinda true).  But Ichabod, God love him, demands an answer. “I will not leave until I hear the truth from your lips! What in God’s name did you do?”  It turns out that Katrina VERY much knew who Mary was, as the two met up to “discuss” (ie for Mary to lose her shit) their mutual affection for one Ichabod Crane.  In her furor, Mary “tripped” on a root and fell off a cliff and died.  (I don’t buy it.)  Katrina then conjured Mary’s “Dear Ichabod” because she knew that if Ichabod knew about Mary’s death, he would go back to England to bury her out of a sense of duty and honor. So even when she WAS engaged to Abraham, she was still trying to keep him on the hook. 

Finally FINALLY Ichabod takes stock of all the lies and half-truths Katrina has told him throughout their marriage.  She was a spy for his BFF Washington. (Come on, George, all those nights and you didn’t say anything?  A little of that is on him.) She’s a witch.  She was pregnant with the Horseman of War.  She was there the night Mary died.  You know that episode of How I Met Your Mother (it still hurts me to reference this show all the time) where everyone hears a glass shatter the moment they have an awful realization about someone?  This was Ichabod’s glass shatter moment.  His wife is a LIAR. If there is one thing Ichabod Crane values about everything else (well except maybe for Donut holes) it’s honor.  And his wife has none.  I smell trouble in paradise.

How exactly was Mary brought back in the first place? Henremy of course.  “I relish any chance to cause my parents pain,” he said to Abraham.  He was QUITE successful in this endeavor…but he did not anticipate Mary trying to drown Katrina, which in turn angered Moloch.  Moloch has a role for Katrina, and as a “Hellfire Shard” she can NOT be compromised. (WHAT THE HELL IS A HELLFIRE SHARD?) Henremy gets a good ass kicking from Moloch (“You do NOT plan!”) and the episode ends with him weeping on the floor like a little bitch.  I’ve got a bad feeling about all of this…

For all of my Katrina shade and whatever the damn hell a “Hellfire Shard” is, I rate the #WHATTHEDAMNHELL of this episode 8.5/10 Golems.  Yes.  I can use a half Golem.  I do what I want.

#ShippyHollow

Let’s discuss Abbie’s face when Caroline calls her Mrs. Crane.  It’s a lovely mixture of surprise, horror, delight, and “oh CRAP she KNOWS”.  And then there is Ichabod and his delightful stuttering as he tries to put exactly into words WHAT Abigail Mills is to him (and Abbie’s smile as he DOES so…she is always so tickled by him.  I can’t take it).  Honestly, Ichy, just say “Biblically predestined soul mate”…how hard is that?

Because Ichabod is a gentleman and a military man, he respects Abbie and her station…thus he rarely calls her by her given name.  It’s always “Leftenant” or “Miss Mills” (who knew that “Leftenant” could be so sexy?).  Occasionally it’s Abigail.  It is only in moments of genuine panic or fear when Ichabod throws out all manner of propriety and calls her “Abbie”.  He RARELY calls her Abbie, so every time he DOES, it results in me making inhuman noises or swooning into my pillow.  The way he SAYS “Abbie” conveys such a sense of intimacy because he rarely does it (Think of how he whispered in when he was scared for his life and was trying to comfort HER in “The Sin Eater”).  So naturally, he would call her “Abbie” when he thought he had lost her when the Weeping Lady nearly drowned her in the library.  No no…he didn’t just CALL her “Abbie”, he MOANS it in despair as he is certain that he has lost her.  Also let’s take a moment to appreciate the Tom Mison hand porn…LOOK at how his hands cup her ENTIRE face.  Look at how he touches her so gently, even in the midst of sheer panic.

And yes, I was one of the fans screaming about wishing Ichabod had known mouth to mouth (someone get him to a first aid course, post-haste!) so we could have a little Mulder and Scully in Fight the Future lip acton.  “I had you.  Big time.”

(Though come on guys, wouldn’t we want the first time Abbie and Ichabod lock lips to be a GENUINE kiss? Mouth to Mouth is cheating, and we can be better than that.)

There were promo pictures released that showed Ichabod EMBRACING Abbie after this incident, again with his giant hand cupped around her head…but I almost LIKED that the moment was cut, despite the squeals that would have happened.  Here’s why I liked it…in the moment Abbie is revived, you SEE Ichabod start to lunge for her, but he stops himself from doing so. (It reminded me of the moment in Gone With The Wind where Rhett enters the house after being away and Scarlett lights up, and you SEE her start to run into his arms…but she stops herself.  And as we learn later, that moment really changed everything.  So while the Sleepy Hollow moment is not quite so tragic as that one, I saw the similarities.)  Ichabod MAY have started to play fast and loose with the admissions for how he cares for Abbie (he did say the Weeping Lady was going after the ones he cared about most deeply after all), he’s far to Gentlemanly and restrained to openly express THAT kind of affection for her.  The love between Abbie and Ichabod is very much the definition of “courtly love” right now, is it not?  The love Lancelot and Guinevere had for each other before the whole sex thing got in the way.  That’s what makes it so appealing and squee worthy.

Also, I’m just pointing out that we got not one but TWO panicked cries of “Abbie!” this week and Ichabod was more worried about HER than Katrina when he realized the Weeping Lady was heading straight for them in the woods. That means absolutely nothing, right?

“Our duty must be to one another, before anyone or anything…marriage is difficult on the best day, but without trust, without honesty, how can a union between two people hope to survive?”

I mean I am not SAYING that Ichabod basically confessed to Abbie that his relationship with her is stronger than his relationship with his wife.  I’m not saying that Abbie and Ichabod have yet to let each other down or betray their bond to each other as witnesses and as friends.  I’m not saying that the way Abbie smiled sadly and a bit wistfully as Ichabod confessed all this to her felt like a tiny dagger in my heart.  I’m not saying they had matching hairstyles at the wake because they are so married they even do their hair the same.

Except I am saying all of that.

Now let’s take a moment to discuss THIS BUSINESS:

A) Relaxed and looking for some booty Jenny = amazing.

B) I KNEW this had to be coming.  When Jenny said she KNEW Hawley, I had guessed she also knew him in the Biblical sense.  However, it is interesting that they have waited three episodes to get them ALONE together to establish this.  Also, I have SEEN you making eyes at Abbie, Hawley (even though she isn’t really having it, being besotted with Ichabod and all.).  You should KNOW better.  If you’ve slept with one sister, the other sister is off-limits, no matter how many fantasies you want to fulfill.  Everyone should know that.  So stay away from Abbie, sir.  One Mills sister is MORE than enough for you to handle.

For the way Ichabod cried “ABBIE!” in fear TWICE, I give the Ichabbie feels for this episode 8/10 Fist Bumps

For exploiting Ichabod’s General Effect on Women, I give this episode 10/10 Bows

For the Jenny and Hawley hotness, I give the episode 6/10 Cups of Coffee (and please don’t be setting up a Mills Sister Love Triangle, you’re better than that show.

#SassyHollow

I beginning to think Nick Hawley was added to the show JUST for the sass factor (and the requisite hotness…these showrunners know their audience, let’s be honest).  Hawley was the sole source of outright sass in an episode filled with pure emotion.  I’m never going to get tired of Ichabod’s utter exasperation with him and their constant dick measuring (I’m going to do a count of how many times I have said “dick measuring contest” on this site in 2014).  Tom’s sassy eyebrow gets a workout in every single scene with Hawley and it will never cease to delight me.  You know who IS 1000% done with their rivalry?  Grace Abigail Mills.  I love how she just SHUT THEM DOWN when they started to cat fight.  “We don’t have time for this” = “Boys, you’re both very well endowed, now let’s get back to shutting down the apocalypse, shall we?”

This week in Ichabod vs. The Modern World, Ichy faces the dilemma of whether or not you should text someone or apologize in person when you’ve wronged them.  Abbie says it’s fine to just send a text, to Ichabod’s horror.  “A missive composed by thumb cannot adequately display emotion,” he says, scoffing at the idea of sending an emoji.  “I intend to apologize face to face as a gentleman should.”  Sage said it best in our very first recap…he’s goddamn Prince Charming.  In a world where so often we are blown off with text messages (or USUALLY just flat-out vanishing acts), Ichabod’s earnest chivalry is WHY we find him appealing.  Never change, sir.

Because it’s only a matter of time before Ichabod and Hawley wrestle in a fountain like Daniel Cleaver and Mark Darcy, I give the sass in this episode 4/10 Donut Holes.

And that’s our episode!  Con Season is ALMOST over for us (just L.I. Who to go next weekend) so these recaps WILL become more timely, I promise.  Thanks for your patience!

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