Parks and Recreation Season 7, Episode 2
“Ron and Jammy”
Earlier this week I realized that 2015 marks my tenth year at my current job. A DECADE. A wave of depression hit me like a ton of bricks. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for my job. I’m grateful that it allows me to continue to live in New York City (however meagerly). I’m grateful for my health insurance, my 401K, and my vacation days that allow me to go to every con I want to. But at the same time, I look my decade at the same job, and think “Is this what I am passionate about doing for the rest of my life?” When I posited about this on Twitter, the overwhelming response I got from most of my friends was the same. It was comforting to know that I am not alone in my desire for career passion. (I also curse my CREATIVE aspirations cause let’s face it, until someone rich buys this website and pays me and Sage the big bucks, writing isn’t going to pay the bills). Needless to say, the timing of April Ludgate’s crisis of passion hit me hard, and I am very happy that I have this episode to tackle for my very first Parks and Recreation recap.
April’s crisis of faith comes courtesy of certified hot mess Joan Calamezzo, who in the three years since we’ve seen her has published NINE memoirs. Naturally, April idolizes her (“I hope she’s my real mom.”). At Joan’s induction to Pawnee’s walk of fame (who all is on that walk and how can I get on it?), before she tells the crowd exactly why America needs a purge night, Joan says that she’s known exactly wanted to do in her life since she was ten and THAT’S how she’s gotten to the place that she is. “If you don’t love something with a true passion…why do it at all?” A look of horror crosses April’s face, prompting her to ponder if she even LIKES her job, much less feels passionate about it. In the previous episode, April lamented becoming a responsible adult. Her job realization is just the next logical step for her. Welcome to adulthood, April. Most of us feel the same way.
April’s despair leads to a wonderful storyline for my favorite Parks alt!ship, Ben and April. Before you come at me with your torches, OBVIOUSLY Beslie and April x Andy FOREVER, okay? But just…what if, you know? I’ve always loved the Ben/April dynamic. I think they are very much alike and they understand each other fundamentally. They share the same sardonic humor and they both rely on their sarcasm as a deflection device when it comes to showing how much they truly care about things. Ben and April need Leslie and Andy’s sunniness in their lives…because otherwise, they would just spiral into a pit of self-loathing masked by sarcastic comments. I think Ben sees a lot of himself in April, which is why he reaches out to her here.
April despairs in Ben’s office (“My insides are dying.”) and he asks her to think about what SHE wanted to do with her life when she was ten. April, being a living incarnation of Wednesday Addams, wanted to be a mortician. Naturally. Because he is a Prince, Ben agrees to take a field trip to the local mortuary, even though he is terrified of death. That’s how much he loves April. While at the mortuary, April runs around like a delighted child. Biodegradable coffins! Cadaver Chutes! Meanwhile, Ben just tries not to pee his pants from fear. April’s delight, however, is dashed once she asks to touch a dead body. The mortician informs her that she can’t just sign up to be a mortician. First she has to go to school for 2 years to get her degree and then she has to do a year’s apprenticeship and THEN spend a couple of years doing paperwork before she can even get close to touching a dead body. “Why is EVERY JOB just paperwork?” she wails. “I’m just going to stay at my current job until I get old and die and end up here being embalmed by some weirdo who had to go to school for three years, just so he could cut my guts open.” I have that same reaction every time my mom tells me I should go back to school for my business degree.
Back at the office of the Midwest Whatever Who Cares, Ben tells April not to lose hope. They only looked at ONE JOB, all is not lost. April asks why Ben is helping her and he simply replies that April is his friend and he cares about her finding her life’s passion. He’s found his after all, and it was a long journey in doing so. In typical fashion, April replies that she’s never cared for Ben…which really just means that he’s incredibly important to her and that she is grateful for his investment in her. And in that moment, my heart grew three sizes. You’re gonna make it after all, April Ludgate-Dwyer.
Meanwhile, in the fight over the Newport land, Leslie has learned that City Council is putting the commercialization to a vote and the swing vote is none other than her old nemesis, Jeremy Jamm, who is still a horrible person in 2017. Leslie thinks she has the vote in the bag once she learns that Jamm is now dating Tammy 2 (couple name: Jammy) and there is nothing Tammy loves more than tormenting Ron. She walks in to the council meeting, with her head held high, fully confident she’s going to win. She may have aligned herself with terrible people…but she also has severe tunnel vision when it comes to achieving her goals.
However, Jamm votes with Ron. It turns out it was all a ploy by Tammy to try to get Ron back. “Are you horny with gratitude?” she purrs, while Ron just giggles (every time Ron giggles an angel gets its wings). Later, when Leslie takes Jamm to lunch at the steakhouse, she realizes just how far gone he is. Tammy, in her bid to turn him into Ron, only allows Jamm a diet of steak and whiskey (and she analyzes his poop to be sure he doesn’t cheat). Jamm’s hair is falling out. He’s lost any modicum of joy in his life…but yet he can’t break away from Tammy. As Jamm sobs, Leslie realizes that this is bigger than the Newport land. Jamm’s very soul is at stake here. He may be a horrible person, but even the worst person doesn’t deserve to suffer at the hands of Tammy. She knows that there is only one person who can help him…her sworn enemy Ron Swanson. It’s time to put aside whatever happened in Budapest (going with that reference all season, y’all. Get used to it.) and save Jamm.
At first, Ron is not moved by Leslie’s pleas but then he sees the horrid shape Jamm is in. He tests Jamm by offering him the gold bar he has in his desk (Leslie: “You keep that in your desk?”) if he can say something bad about Tammy. When Jamm asks if Tammy can have it if he does, Ron knows that they are at a DefCon 5 level of trouble. Leslie and Ron spirit Jamm away to his cabin where they bust out his Tammy deprogramming kit. The kit includes a chastity belt (Jamm can pad it) and a bottle of Tammy’s perfume, Girth. Leslie and Ron employ a Pavlovian training with the perfume, spraying it in his face and then slapping him so that he associates the smell with pain. Really, I think Leslie is just using it as an excuse to beat the crap out of him for all that time tormenting her on the City Council. Whatever works.
Leslie and Ron also use some role play to teach Jamm how to turn on his crotch blinders. Really, it’s just an excuse for Amy Poehler to bust out her KILLER Megan Mullally impression. Apparently, it’s the only one Amy can do.
Once they feel Jamm is prepared, they take him to the library to dump Tammy…but she doesn’t go down without a fight. She tells Jamm that Leslie is only doing this so she’ll get a vote out of him and she even offers Leslie the vote in exchange for leaving them alone. And here’s where we see just how far Leslie Knope has come. I firmly believe season one Leslie, steamroller Leslie would have taken Tammy’s deal. She would have wanted the win, no matter what the cost. Season seven Leslie still wants to win. That’s a fundamental part of Leslie that’s never going to change. But now Leslie wants to win the fair way. Taking Tammy’s deal would have been cheap. The win would have been dirty and she knew it. So she turned it down. Leslie is better than that. And so is Jamm, apparently. The crotch blinders were within him all along and he finds the strength to walk away from Tammy even when she strips down to her birthday suit (“There’s a prize for you in there.”). The next day, he tells his very best friends Leslie and Ron that he’s abstaining from the vote, leaving it at a tie. All of it was for nothing. Ron begrudgingly admits that he respected Leslie for not taking Tammy’s deal while Leslie admits that she respects that Ron even helped Jamm in the first place. There is a moment where it truly seems that Ron and Leslie are going to let bygones be bygones. They MISS being on the same team. But apparently what happened in Budapest cuts way too deep as the moment passes and Leslie says it’s time to get back to hating him. Ugh. Please work this out soon, you two. My heart can’t take it.
Lastly in this Jamm-packed episode, we have Andy and Tom. Tom has grown tired of the Bachelor Mogul lifestyle and just wants to settle down. In a wonderful sign from the universe, he gets a Gryzzl message from his ex-girlfriend Lucy (Peter Capaldi patient zero fangirl Natalie Morales) saying that she read an article about him. After getting wasted with Andy at the Bistro (everything there is free), the boys take an $830 cab ride to Chicago to see her. Tom freaks out when they get there, saying this is something only a murderer would do, so when they see her, Andy says they are there because HE is moving to Chicago because he’s the new head coach of the Bulls. No, really he’s working for a non-profit. That sucks. Over the course of the day, Tom asks Lucy (who was showing some nostalgia for her life in Pawnee) to come work for him as his general manager. She agrees but says she has to check with her boyfriend first. Tom’s face falls, but to his credit, he doesn’t rescind the offer. He just wants her there with him, boyfriend or not. Later, over the books for the bistro (“You’re so going to prison.”), Andy gleefully watches Tom and Lucy whilst munching on someone’s leftover spaghetti. They’re totally going to fall in love.
Random Thoughts
– As the father of three young children, Ron, you should know Monsters Inc. As Leslie says, engage in the culture.
– “I’m not a baby, I’m a big boy!”
– Apparently between now and 2017, the Chicago Cubs are going to win the World Series. Stay strong, Cubs fans! Your time is coming.
– Bless you and your light, Andy Dwyer.
– How did Tammy get her panties off that way? Does she always wear breakaway panties? Also hot damn, Megan Mullally.
– “Shhhh. THIS IS A LIBRARY!” “Do you not see what’s happening?”
– I have to mention Amy’s Mullally impression again.
– Andy calls Chicago both “The Big Apple” and “Beantown”. Bless.
YAY! I wrote about Parks!! Share your thoughts on “Ron and Jammy” in the comments.
The perfume spraying/slapping had me laughing so so hard. Slaps are never not funny, and Amy Poehler’s straight-armed slaps especially so.
Also, dear GOD her Megan Mullally impression. I’m still not over it.