“The United States of Kink” – Scandal Gif-Cap

Season 4, Episode 16
“It’s Good to Be Kink”
Posted by Sage

Lena and her wig are having a moment. I’m so glad this episode fell on my turn. Let’s gif busy. (You heard me.)

“I did nothing illegal…I’m human. I’m a man.” “You’re disgusting.” Leo did a thing. A thing that Abby finds “disgusting.” With a lady, perhaps?

“You’re not a saint. I’ve been between the sheets with you. You’ve taught me some things.” This is not the right route to take in this argument Leo. Abort. Abort.

“I will take care of it…I AM IN CHARGE NOW.” And you should always be, Ms. Whelan.

“Some woman…who slept with a large swatch of DC power players.” “Claims to have slept.””It’s not fake. You saw the part about the guy she calls the ‘Dustbuster’?” OH, YOU LIKE IT LIKE THAT, DO YOU, LEO? Has anyone fanfic-ed this chapter of Sue’s memoir yet?

“I need you to stop this book. I need you to shut it down.” Booooooo.

“Oh my god, you’re Olivia Pope. Hold on, am I in trouble?” It’s Lena Dunham in some horse hair pigtails! And she might liked to be punished.

“I mean, define ‘violate,’ for you.” Her delivery of this was very Shoshanna.

“Make that book disappear from the planet.” Do we have to round up the guys? Please say we have to round up the guys.

“Thank you, Liv. I’ll have Leo send over a check.” “Tell him it’s on the house.” I feel like this is the only time I’ve heard mention of OPA actually getting paid for their work.

“I need immunity from prosecution.” Huck demands immunity from David as they go after B6-13. He won’t give up his family again.

“Where have you been?” “Dentist.” “The DENTIST.” Lie better, Huck.

“I grew. I came here to tell you in person that I won’t publish the book. If you give me 3 million dollars.” Yesssss, play the game, Sue.

“You mean a ‘whore’? When did you become so weak?” Well, this got interesting.

“The power you wield in this town, Olivia, it’s legend. You used to exude it. It came out of every pore. It gave other women a contact high. So I must admit I’m a little disappointed by your behavior towards me.”

“As if picking up a hot stranger in a bar for a dirty screw is a crime…I’m not ashamed.”

“I stood in this office and I promised Clarence Burk a change.” Fitz thinks he can get mandatory body cams for police officers through a Republican Congress. Also, he’s actually President-ing. This is new.

“I’m running for senator of Virginia.” Sign me up for the United States of MELLIE.

“Wow, that’s history making. Good for you and good for Virginia.”

Mellie wants Leo to run her campaign (smart lady); Abby makes up some bullshit reason why he’s not available, leaving out the words “dust” and “buster.”

“But she’s most active on Land-O-Kink.” “Two million members and counting.” “The United States of Kink.” OPA logs in to sift through the guys on the database.

“To keep it from being hacked? That’s old school. Respect.” Sue typed her manuscript on a typewriter and Huck is impressed.

“Hi, Colt?” “You must be Sue.” Quinn and Huck send Sue out on a date with CHARLIE. Also, “COLT”?

“I’d tie your arms to the rafters then I’d nail your feet to the floor.” Um, pass?

“Mentally, she’s a mess. She carries her gun with her everywhere she goes. Won’t go out at night. Won’t even order take-out. I have no idea how she’s surviving.” Fitz and Jake have creepy boys nights where they gossip about Olivia’s fragile mental state.

Time for a “reading the book” montage! Let’s meet Sue’s conquests.

“Joystick.” “Thruster.” “Sit and Spin.” You forgot one.

“Only one left: The Doctor.” HE WOULD.

*Only the “this is my dick” gif would have been appropriate here.

“It’s not his occupation, it’s his initials. D.R, Liv. D.R.” David Rosen also tripped the Sue Fantastic. I need all of the details.

“I was dead inside, I needed to feel.” “DISGUSTING.” But really, poor Abby. Two dudes she’s been in serious, real relationships with.

“Let me remind you: after your little failed coup. You work for me. Your time is my time. So get your ass off the swings. Get up on the hill. Get me my votes. Understood?” Cyrus has Lizzy Bear in his pocket and he’s putting her to work on body cams. Could be a worse mission though.

“Gentlemen, please, if you’ll just calm down.” OPA gathers all of the men Sue wrote about. If they each contribute $175,000, they can buy the book. There’s a lot of yelling and people being VERY IMPORTANT.

“You think this is funny, Bergen.” “A little.” Never leave me, Leo.

“STILL IN.” Just stay here forever.

“The fact that Sue is asking for this money is extortion. Pure and simple. And our paying her makes us complicit. And you’re better than this.” David leads the revolution of men who certainly won’t be exercising their fetishes anymore. At least not in this city.

“You are a justice of the United States Supreme Court. You are the Deputy Secretary of Defense. You…I have no idea who you are, but you shouldn’t be involved either.” DC elite be like, “We never trained for this!”

“There’s no sympathy for the kinky, Huck?”

“This isn’t about Liv. This is about me. This is about my family.” If David gets outed as one of Sue’s conquests, there’s no way he’ll be in a position to get Huck the immunity he wants. And in Huck’s way is a dangerous place to be.

“There is no way that Rosen has the imagination to ask Sue for any part of chapter 7 without an education from you first, admit it.” Leo is either slut shaming or admiring Abby while doing side planks, I’m not sure which.

“Leo, what happens to you happens to me.” I hope you’re ready, because I couldn’t do anything but transcribe Abby’s entire speech and punctuate it with CJ Cregg gifs. There was no other way to go.

“But they also write about me. If I wear lipstick, I’m dolled up. If I don’t, I’ve let myself go. They wonder if I’m trying to bring dresses back and they don’t like it that I repeat outfits, even though I’m on a government salary. They discuss my hair color. They’re are anonymous blogs that say I’m too skinny. They have a running joke that I’m on a hunger strike until I can be liberated by the Democrats.”

“They also write about you. Every article about me has your name somewhere in it. Because apparently there’s this rule, in order to mention my name, they also have to report to the world that there’s a man who wants me. My work, my accomplishment, my awards. I stand at the most powerful podium in the world. But a story about me ain’t a story unless they can report on the fact that I am the girlfriend of DC fixer Leo Bergen. Like it validates me. Gives me an identity. A definition. They can’t fathom the concept that my life doesn’t revolve around you. My life doesn’t revolve anywhere near you. It’s horrifying. Property of Leo Bergen.”

“Tell me, when they write articles about you, Leo, how often do they mention me? Do they talk about your clothes, write about your thighs? There is a difference. There is. So. What happens to you happens to me.”

I do believe you’ll see Darby Stanchfield nominated for a Feelie this year.

“Paying someone off never works. They talk. They always talk.” Somebody put a hand over Olivia’s mouth when she’s about to start foreshadowing like a character in a Greek tragedy.

“You’ll be the fifth press secretary of this administration. Third to be fired.” Abby hands over her resignation, expecting at least a little emotion from Cyrus. Cyrus is convinced, perhaps, that the whole job is cursed.

Olivia gets dolled up and hits a bar, alone and with a fake name. “I’m Russell, by the way.” “Alex.” “Are you…waiting for someone?” “I haven’t decided yet.” Inspired by Sue’s sexual freedom, perhaps?

“Or, why don’t we finish our drinks, not get to know each other, and go back to my apartment?” Olivia decides on meaningless sex. But before she can go through with it, she endures some flashbacks in the bar bathroom. Big ups to Kerry Washington for that deep pain in her eyes. It’s heartbreaking.

“What you want is control. What you want is revenge.” Turns out Sue’s memoir has nothing to do with exhibitionism or money. Her boss found out about her social life and then fired her for not sleeping with him. Men.

“Let’s get it done.” Now Sue is the de facto client, and Olivia is going to help her take her slimey ex-boss down.

“How he’d heard all about me. How rough I liked it. What a dirty girl I was. How it was only fair that he had a piece.”

Olivia arranges for the pants to be sued off of Sue’s tormentor. She even gets her some interviews. Sue rewards Liv with an enthusiastic hug.

“What’s in the case?” “Three million, cash.” “Are we running away together?” Cyrus meets Olivia at their bench with the money to bury Sue’s book.

“I need her. She ain’t cheap though.” “Well, she’s worth it.” Could Abby be finally getting the respect she deserves from her White House colleagues? (Spoiler alert: no.)

“Moving forward? Towards what?” Olivia is SO not interested in anything going on over at the White House. I dare not hope this last.

“Oh, I see. You couldn’t care less about Abby. You just wanted the book. You just wanted dirt on these guys.” Cyrus sees a lot of potential blackmail in that book. Red staying would only be a bonus.

“This town…it’s hurt.”

“I need some power. Some influence, an ally.” MELLIE AND LIZZY BEAR ARE TEAMING UP. Surrender now, peasants.

“I’m not gonna let her do this.” Quinn and Huck walk in on one of Sue’s flings threatening her with a knife.

They wrestle him off her, then HUCK SLICES HER THROAT.

“I liked her. She was nice, smart, but she would have talked eventually.” WAS THIS REALLY THE ONLY OPTION, HUCK.

“And make sue Leo Bergen has an alibi.” Protect Leo at all costs.

“Quinn. Do you know who did this?” “It doesn’t matter…Sue is not your client. Abby is. And Abby is family.” Somewhere, deep down, Olivia knows. But she won’t allow herself to think it. Blinders are the only reason she can get up every morning and do what she does.

“I still feel dirty. I still feel culpable…I didn’t stand up for her. I didn’t try to help her. A young woman. Someone’s daughter. Whatever, it’s just some girl I called ‘Kinky Sue’ and treated like a sexual vending machine.” At least we can always count on David for a little self awareness.

“Where are you going?” “Home. I’m going home.” Huck got his immunity agreement. But if he thinks he can lead a normal, middle-class life after all he’s done, he’s sadly mistaken.

“She was a nice person. Smart and nice. Deeply, deeply perverted, but also smart and nice.” She only smacked you around if you asked.

“I think we owe it to Sue for her memory.” Abby would like very much to reenact chapter five right now. Leo is game.

“Get down to the kitchen. Get your clothes off. Get the butter.” Hey-ooooo.

Olivia puts Sue’s manuscript in the OPA safe and stares meaningfully at her white hat.

“You’re back. The way you disappeared the other night. I thought I must have dreamed you up.” This guy’s mustache is straight out of an Eddie Murphy movie circa 1993 and I am here for it. So is Liv.

“Nothing new to report there either.” Jake stops short of filling Fitz in on all the horny details of Olivia’s one-night-stand. Here’s hoping it’s the first of many he’ll have to lie about.

What did you think of “Kink,” Gladiators? Did you see Huck’s play coming? How do you feel about a swinging single Liv? Leave it in the comments!