It’s the Super Bowl of Red Carpets! Who scored a touchdown? Who fumbled at the 1 yard line? Who made a two point conversion? Who missed an easy field goal? How many more sports metaphors do you need? Let’s get to Maggie’s picks for best and worst of the night!
Saoirse slayed, you guys. The dress is to die for. Her hair was perfect. I even liked the mismatched earrings! She is a smoking hot, classy, emerald-green mermaid and I for one am delighted.
Listen, I think we all know who the phoenix is and who the ashes is, okay? Jen looks flawless here, down to every detail. The beading and the swoosh of fabric (I know, we’re getting super technical here) could have easily tipped toward too much but this is simply elegant and if you try to tell me different, I will take umbrage.
My personal feelings are she’s Cate fucking Blanchett, she can wear what she wants, but friend of HOF Shannon put it more eloquently, “she looks like Venus emerging from sea foam, I am all about it.” SAME.
I am not strictly crazy about the straps, but it’s a minor nitpick. Charlize is wearing the hell out of this dress and I love the necklace.
I think her hair is too severe and I’m not sure about the detail in the middle, but I am in love with this overall look. I think the metallic is so lovely on her and the length, you guys. This is just so refreshing, I can’t wait to see more from her.
Here’s what I love about Margot: she knows how to look like a grownup without looking matronly. She’s not afraid of a long sleeve and she can really pull it off. I’m super attracted to shiny things, so of course I’m really into the gold, and that CLUTCH. I know the hair could be better, but honestly I don’t even care.
At first I wasn’t sure about the kind of 80s accent colors in the dress but the sparkles won me over, as they always do. I think this dress is so flattering on her, and she’s styled to perfection. The soft waves and bold lip really pull the look together.
Well, I like her earrings, but that’s about it. I think this looks so cheap, you guys. I love a train, but this fabric does nothing for her except wrinkle. It’s sad to me.
This dress is the slutty cousin of Alicia Vikander’s Golden Globes dress. The collar isn’t helping matters.
I’d really like to thank Rooney for committing to these insane hairdos that seem to be catching on, love that trend. Sigh. I think this look is vaguely sister wife-y but then you have the slit and the cutout so it’s kind of jarring. Side note: Did you guys hear Ryan and Giuliana discussing how we haven’t seen a belly cutout at the Oscars before but maybe at the Grammys?? I’ll just be over here sipping tea with Sam Smith.
Well I’m not bored. BECAUSE I HATE IT. What is this dingy metallic liquid fabric, like a fancy trash bag? I don’t even think the shape is all that flattering, SUE ME KIM. I don’t get any of this except for her buying a box of Tagalongs during the ceremony.
Kim: KATE AND LEO TIME SORRY MAGGIE I AGREE ABOUT THE DRESS BUT KATE AND LEO.
Gender Equality, Solved: Eddie Redmayne
Fairly soon after one of E!’s “experts” told Giuliana that gender equality was solved because three Best Picture nominees featured storylines about women, resident saucy minx Eddie Redmayne showed up in a velvet jacket. Ryan Seacrest commented “Fashion before comfort!” when Eddie said how he was warm in the jacket, and honestly I think that expert was right because isn’t this what women have been hearing for years?
I Have Notes: Alicia Vikander
I was surprised by how much I liked her half bun and how well I thought the dusty yellow and sparkles worked together. I loved her earrings, but I didn’t think they really worked as her only accessory. And I can’t get over the like mullet-y balloon shape of the skirt? And listen, I would really love to hand out a Best Red Carpet Arm Candy superlative here, but Alicia walked the carpet without Michael Fassbender, so. Can’t.
PANTS IT’S PANTS YOU GUYS:Lady Gaga
Secret pants, you guys! I think Lara Spencer put it best when she said “tell me about the whole situation.” Doesn’t that sound like a fashion correspondent’s version of “bless your heart”? I don’t love the excess fabric and I would have redone her makeup, but let’s talk more about how she moved an entire auditorium to tears with her performance and then visit ItsOnUs.org.
Guys, this is the best we can hope for during the Dior/Lawrence partnership. Yeah, it’s a little naked, but it’s such an improvement over some of the things they’ve put her in, and her hair looks so much better than it did at the Globes. I can deal with this.
Learn to Edit: Brie Larson
I think there’s a lot going on here. The filmy detail at the bust, that doesn’t really add anything. The kind-of-enormous-for-a-red-carpet-gown belt. The pleating in the skirt and the flowy like dress tendrils. And the hairdo, which I just hated. Maybe in part because her SAG Awards gown was the last thing I really saw her in, I just thought she needed to edit and streamline. She’s such a perfect sunflower, I don’t really know why she wanted her red carpet season to go this way.
Always a Bridesmaid: Jennifer Jason Leigh
I guess this color is flattering? But the flowery floof details and the way they trail down, just. I feel like she looks like a bridesmaid in a Julia Roberts movie. But, like. Not one I want to see.
Yay Sparkles! Robin Roberts
Robin looked divine in her sparkles, and honestly when I switched from E!’s coverage to ABC I felt like she healed me. I especially liked when, as a journalist, she thanked Mark Ruffalo for his work in (BEST PICTURE WINNER) Spotlight.
Who Wins Purple?Tina Fey or Reese Witherspoon?
So here we have two sides to the same sexy-ass grape coin: Tina in a classic, simple but maybe underwhelming gown? And Reese in an equally gorgeous shade, but in a possibly overworked gown? Whose purple wins your heart? Discuss!
Best Accessory: Olivia Munn
I wasn’t crazy about Olivia’s look overall, I felt like her upper arm was in a weird sling or something, but THAT BRACELET. Not only do I love it on its own, but it was such a simple, perfect complement to the dress. (Although we could also give her this one for bringing Aaron Rodgers, am I right?)
Worst Accessory: Whoopi Goldberg
>I do not know what is going on here with this bracelet, though. It’s like she has Ursula the sea witch on her wrist.
More Like Sadness: Mindy Kaling
I expected to feel joy when I saw Mindy Kaling, but this is total sadness. I don’t like a middle part usually, and I definitely don’t like it here. I hate the blue sleeve-y things that turn out to like tie in the back?? But the black dress doesn’t work on its own, mostly because she might need to go up a size, which is actually more anger because it’s the dress that’s the problem and not her. I just don’t think this look does her justice, so. Sadness.
Step Away From the Bedazzler>: Kevin Hart
No, but seriously.
I Respect Your Game, Ma’am: Jenny Beavan
Not only was I into the surprise winner for Costume Design’s outfit, but also the way she worked in a sly request for people to contact her agents in her acceptance speech. Well played.
The Kids Are All Right: Jacob Tremblay and Abraham Attah
I loved this pair of presenters so much. Jacob’s been charming us for months, what with his precocious adorableness, hot dad and Star Wars superfandom (did you see his socks?!) but Abraham was delightful too. His velvet TOMS were legit and I love that he was promoting their donation of 10,000 pairs of new shoes to the people of Ghana.
I Can’t With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears: Kaley Cuoco-
Every time. Even when she doesn’t show up.
I Can’t With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears Runner-Up: Heidi Klum
With apologies to Sofia Vergara, who surely thought she would be a lock for this again, Heidi was the clear choice. I simply CANNOT.
Who were YOUR Best and Worst of the Oscars? Let us know in the comments. Maggie will be back soon with her end of season wrap up, so stay tuned.