“These trivial human urges.” – Sleepy Hollow Recap – Kindred Spirits

Sleepy Hollow Season 3, Episode 11
“Kindred Spirits”
Posted by Kim

Leave it to Sleepy Hollow to deliver a perfectly timed Valentine’s Day-esque episode that appeals to both cynics and romantics. For the cynics you have the Kindred (HEY BUDDY) attacking couples because he’s hopeless and awkward and desperate for love. For the cynics you have Pandora and her slowly simmering rage as The Hidden One keeps her from growing because he won’t allow her to blow. For the romantics you have the Kindred eventually finding the one (literally) made for him. For the romantics you have the increasingly tender dynamic between Abbie and Ichabod as they make heart eyes over chess boards and dead houseplants. Let’s get to the rankings, shall we?

#CreepyHollow

We open in typical horror movie/ghost story fashion with a couple deciding to do a little parking. (Do people still DO that?) The guy starts to get a little too fresh with his date and she tells him to slow his roll given that it is their first date and all. (Guy: “What’s the fun in that?” Girl: “It’s the minding my boundaries and personal comfort sort of fun.” Me: DON’T MAKE ME CRAWL INTO THE TELEVISION, SHOW.) The guy keeps pushing the girl’s limits until it becomes clear that this has become a “No Means Yes” situation until someone pulls a George McFly (“Hey you. Get your damn hands off of her.”) and yanks the would be rapist out of the car and kills him. That someone is revealed to be our favorite long-lost monster The Kindred and for a GLORIOUS 45 seconds or so, I believed that the Kindred had become a Misogyny fighting feminist superhero whose motto was NO MEANS NO ASSHOLE. Alas, my hopes were dashed when after a Beauty and the Beast let me see your face moment, The Kindred makes quick work of killing the girl too. Sigh. Truly a missed opportunity if I have EVER seen one, Sleepy Hollow. 

Abbie may be back in the real world but she’s still dealing with the ramifications of her time in the catacombs. She clearly has PTSD regarding her ordeal (who wouldn’t?) and is trying to deal with it in her own way. Like Charlotte York dealing with her fertility issues, Abbie chooses to distance herself by taking long runs (in VERY CUTE workout gear btdubs). After a morning of banter with Crane (BELIEVE ME more on that later), Abbie is on one of those runs when she comes across a tree that she and Jenny carved their names in when they were kids and has a flashback. This tree is never brought up again in the episode, but nothing is accidental on Sleepy Hollow, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that is just a tiny piece of the puzzle that will take shape over the back half of the season.

 ANYWAY. Danny calls Abbie in to investigate the date night homicide which is ODD considering Abbie isn’t a FBI agent any more. OH WAIT. When Abbie questions as to why she’s even there when Sophie is a perfectly fine agent, Danny admits that he never turned in Abbie’s letter of resignation. This does NOT sit well with her. If there is one thing Grace Abigail Mills does not tolerate, it’s men making choices FOR HER, especially when it includes said men questioning her reasoning. “What you did was rash and illegal,” Danny mansplains. “I wanted to give you time to clear things up, quietly, internally. Abs, I’ve made mistakes in the past. I’ve regretted all of them.” HA. HA HA HA. I love how Danny tries to tie his making career decisions FOR her back to their relationship. That’s a sure way to get into Abbie’s pants if I have ever seen one. “You know what I’m regretting? Coming here in the first place,” Abbie replies icily. She begs off the case citing that she needs time before she can even THINK about the position that she’s been put in.Abbie ALSO flees the crime scene because she takes one look at the weapon pattern of the victims and she KNOWS that the Kindred is responsible and this is gonna be Witness Business, not FBI business. She tells Sophie to meet her at the Archives and then it’s time to call ye old Biblical Life Partner to tell him that their prodigal son has returned to Sleepy Hollow. The Witnesses give Sophie the backstory on the Kindred (they called him FRANKLINSTEIN) and because Sophie is awesome, she takes the ridiculata at face value. (Sophie: “So you raised a monster with the help of a witch coven and Benjamin Franklin to defeat the Headless Horseman?” Abbie: “Correct.” Sophie: “Because the Kindred has the Horseman of Death’s head and is therefore just as powerful?” Abbie: “Precisely.” Sophie: “And you thought this was a good idea because…?” BLESS.) Sophie agrees to help the Witnesses by surveying potential locations for the Kindred to make another attack (romantic outdoor date spots because the Kindred hates love) while Abbie and Ichabod delve into our pal Franklin’s journals about making the Kindred. Turns out that none other than Betsy Ross was responsible for spinning the threads that hold the Kindred together because we gotta fulfill Nikki Reed’s contract obligations SOME HOW. We flash back to Ichabod and Betsy’s first meeting, but I can’t really be bothered to care all that much. Abbie finds some hidden pages in the journal that have instructions on how to control the Kindred. (Also her smugness about reading Franklin now is EVERYTHING. Also she read it to feel closer to Ichabod, head canon accepted leave me alone.) It turns out that the Kindred always returns to familiar places and can be lured around by a special glass harmonica (of course). Team Joenny sets off to steal Franklin’s glass harmonica while Team Ichabbie heads to the Kindred’s original burial site in the tunnels. Everyone has a partner and a cute ship name and I am ALIVE.

While Joey and Jenny are off doing their breaking and entering foreplay routine, Abbie and Ichabod discover that the Kindred has indeed been returning to the tunnels. His den is littered with souvenirs and treasures from his growing pile of victims. They deduce that their monster-child is not just becoming a brutal killer, he’s on a quest to become HUMAN, which is clearly worse. Meanwhile, Sophie manages to save a sweet old couple off for a midnight stroll from the Kindred because she just HAPPENED to know the most romantic spots in Sleepy Hollow. She shoots at the Kindred and he starts to go after her, but something stops him. He snaps for his horse and rides off into the night…which is a beautiful callback to the Headless Horseman and Season One. (Also MAJOR props to the crew for the GORGEOUSNESS of that shot.) The Witnesses figure that the Kindred must be killing couples because he’s jealous and envious of the love he cannot have. (Same.) Ichabod feels a great responsibility to end the Kindred’s reign of terror humanely. They ARE basically his parents after all. I don’t know, Ichabod. Maybe if you and Abbie stopped repressing your love for each other, maybe your son would believe in it? *chinhands*

A plan is concocted to lure the Kindred down to the Masonic Cell (what would they do without this place?). Joey, it turns out, is quite talented on the glass harmonica because there is literally nothing he can’t do. Crane realizes he forgot Franklin’s specific Kindred luring sheet music, so he dashes back to the archives to retrieve it, only to find Zoe there. Ah yes, I’ll be covering this in Shippy, but the long and short of it is, that flirtation is done and now Zoe just wants to collect a book she loaned Ichabod so she can bow out with some semblance of dignity. The Kindred emerges from his coffin and Joey is able to lure him on the harmonica, but the song he practiced in all his music lessons isn’t strong enough to distract him from hearing Zoe yelling in the archives (so much for dignity). He storms into the Archives and much to Ichabod’s horror, the Kindred grabs Zoe. “MINE,” he growls. “You follow, she dies.” Okay…so the Kindred can speak now and he also has really backward ideas about claiming ownership over women. GREAT. Abbie finds a collage of a woman’s face that the Kindred made from scraps of a magazine and suddenly it all clicks. “He wants a bride and he wants one NOW.” Did he get all of his ideas about love and marriage from watching John Clare in Penny Dreadful?

  So now we are on Mission: Save Zoe. Abbie figures that the only other place the Kindred could go would be the old carriage house where Abraham once held Katrina hostage. (REMEMBER THEM?) Joey realizes that the seal on Franklin’s Journal matches a seal on the wall of the opera house where he and Jenny stole the harmonica from. NOW everything comes together for Ichabod. During his first mission with Betsy (yawn), they hid what they thought were medical supplies behind that seal. Clearly, they were ACTUALLY hiding another kindred because Franklin is JUST that crafty. THEN they realize that the insignia in the opera house is actually a Venus symbol meaning that…yep we have a lady Kindred on our hands and maybe this time Love WILL conquer all. They retrieve the body of the Kindress (that’s the best name we could come up with?) and haul her to the woods surrounding the carriage house. Joey and Jenny come to Sophie’s aid in the carriage house JUST before the Kindred kills her. Joey shoots the Kindred with arrows a few time, giving them just enough time to grab Zoe (who has swooned naturally) and get the hell out of the house, which has now caught on fire. In the woods, the Witnesses go about raising the Kindress. The Kindress is clutching a giant mace which neither Ichabod or Abbie think to remove from her hands before they awaken her…so obviously she tries to attack them as soon as she wakes.

  The two contingents converge outside the carriage house and then suddenly, it’s as if time stops. The crowd parts and the Kindred and Kindress see each other for the first time. They drop their weapons and walk towards each other in awe. It’s love at first sight. Team Witness looks on in both horror and delight as the Kindred pulls a Crane bow (that’s how you know it’s serious) and they share a kiss. The Kindred and Kindress walk off hand in hand, completely ignoring the Witnesses, because who needs to fight any more when you’ve got LOVE. It’s all pretty sweet really. Until The Hidden One blows them up in a fit of rage. But I’m pretending that didn’t happen because that was SUCH a dick move.

IF THE KINDRED CAN FIND LOVE, THEN DAMMIT SO CAN I. 2/10 Sandmen. 

#ShippyHollow and #SassyHollow

In my recap for “One Life”, I expressed that my GREATEST wish for the eventual Ichabbie reunion (yes, even above kissing) was that Ichabod would simply express how much he VALUED Abbie and how much he couldn’t function without her and how she was in his heart ALWAYS. Well, that near love confession and all the hands and touching business in the last episode was pretty damn close to giving me everything I wanted. The question is…how do Abbie and Ichabod proceed after such an emotional reunion? On the surface it appears to be business as usual, with easy banter and looks that linger slightly too long. But when you look closer…the dynamic has shifted. I can’t imagine this is the first time Ichabod has found Abbie at the chessboard in the wee hours judging principally from his reaction to seeing her there. (HIS ROBE AND NIGHTSHIRT THOUGH.) “Playing chess with Crane” was the one thing that kept Abbie somewhat sane in the catacombs and I think she clings to it now as a way to ground her. Ichabod gently presses her to talk about her time in the catacombs and Abbie deflects, pretending to  fall asleep. He will not be deterred, however, and Crane’s “Please, Leftenant” face is EVERYTHING about how their dynamic has changed. It’s tender and it’s gentle and he looks at her as if she’s the most precious thing in the world and he wants to take care of her until the end of time. GOD. “You were my Wilson,” Abbie admits and you can tell that it’s incredibly hard for her to admit that, given that it’s a Mulder/Scully “my constant, my touchstone” kind of confession. Abbie can only handle so much soul-bearing though, given that she’s clearly still processing a lot regarding both her ordeal and the man sitting in front of her. So the conversation turns to gentle (EVERYTHING IS GENTLE) sassing about the state of her houseplants. Mainly that Crane allowed all her love ferns to die.

“Two words, Crane. Miracle Grow,” she teases and Ichabod looks SO FUCKING BASHFUL about the whole thing I want to die. “In all candor, Lieutenant, whilst you were away, I spent every waking hour endeavoring to bring you home. All other responsibilities fell by the wayside, horticulture not excluded.” GOD JUST TELL HER YOU LOVE HER AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY. Abbie’s little SMILE when he admits that though. They both know the truth. Are they enjoying this whole dancing around each other kind of mating ritual? Methinks so. It doesn’t change the fact that Ichabod DOES feel bad about letting the love ferns die so he suggests that they should go to the nursery together to pick out new ones followed by brunch at Colonial Times. I repeat. Ichabod Crane was completely willing to go to Colonial Times because he knows Abbie Mills loves it. Plant shopping and brunch…could you BE more married. Unfortunately, Abbie isn’t QUITE ready for that kind of couple realness. Soon she will be though, if you go at ALL by the amount of heart eyes she has on the phone with Ichabod when he talks about his trip.

  It’s a good thing Ichabod goes to the nursery solo though because boom, he runs into Zoe, as if we summoned her very presence by talking about her in our two previous recaps. Gone though is the simpering girl with heart eyes and an endless bounty of revolutionary war knowledge and in her place is a stone cold woman who is PISSED that she’s been ghosted. In the whole “My Biblical Life Partner vanished into the Tree of Wonders” business, Ichabod completely forgot that he had a pseudo-girlfriend and Zoe hasn’t heard from him in a month. Whoops. Zoe manages to get some DELIGHTFUL burns into their brief conversation (“I’d exchange those ferns for some cacti. Very low maintainance.”) and all of a sudden I like her a whole lot more. It’s amazing what giving a woman a spine will do. I TOTALLY understand Zoe wanting to end things as quickly as possible once that door was opened, which is why I am MILDLY forgiving of her temper tantrum in the archives, but DAMN girl, just order a new one off of Amazon. I TOTALLY get that she gave him the book as a way to try to bond with him, but at a certain point you just have to let some possessions go, right? (False, to this DAY I am still bitter than an ex made off with my 1st Edition Copy of Order of the Phoenix and my Noises Off DVD. Some wounds are too great to heal.) Because Ichabod Crane is a man of character who feels terrible about the way he treated Zoe, he does get her precious book back to her AND he apologizes for his behavior, claiming he’s just not ready for a relationship. And then…AND THEN Zoe drops a bomb. “I think you ARE ready for someone. I just don’t think it’s me.” *sings* EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE ROOM CAN SEE IT…

 Meanwhile, we have Danny doing some groveling with Abbie concerning the whole “you never really quit” thing. For SOME reason, he gives her the whole “you make me want to be a better man” speech as if he just spent the day watching As Good As It Gets. I don’t really buy it and it’s NOT just because I bleed for Ichabbie. I don’t buy it because too many of Danny’s actions have been problematic and I just can’t really figure out his motives either (DON’T FORGET HIS SHADY FBI DEALINGS CONCERNING ABBIE Y’ALL) . Does he REALLY love Abbie? I think he may think he does? But wouldn’t he have dropped that whole “I love you” thing back in the Nicholas Sparks Cabin of Feelings? Abbie’s face says that as the whole love thing is news to her. He didn’t HAVE to say it? Sorry, sir, The Tenth Doctor you are not and some things most certainly need saying.

(Abbie does agree to come back to work though.)

   Thus, we are back where we started, with Abbie and Ichabod over the chess board.  They enjoy some beers and they banter about Ichabod’s new choice of love cactus. (“We’re a succulent family now.” WE. ARE. A. FAMILY. NOW. HELP.) Abbie cuts her finger as she cracks open her new beer like a bad ass sending Ichabod into nurse mode. He teases her about cheating as he leaves the room and good lord the eye sex is out of control. However, as Abbie waits for Nurse Crane to return, she finds herself sketching an odd symbol on the table in her own blood. Um. Wut? A look of panic crosses her eyes. This is not good.

Let’s not think about that. Let’s think about these faces.

 

One Unnecessary love interest gone. Tons of Schmoopy looks. 7/10 Fist Bumps.
God, I missed good Ichabbie banter. 5/10 powdered sugar donut holes of gentle sass. 

#WHATTHEDAMNHELLHollow

Pandora and the Hidden One have been observing the whole thing with the Kindred go down from the magic pool in their love nest. The Hidden One, having sucked all of Pandora’s powers, is looking robust and healthy while Pandora is pale and sullen. THEN The Hidden One has the NERVE to be all “What ails you, boo?” as if he has NO idea why on earth Pandora would be pissy. And Pandora’s FACE. Her face just says “I don’t know, dick, maybe because I gave you ALL my powers and you haven’t even THANKED me for it, so I am really questioning this relationship, but really I AM FINE.” I love it. Pandora makes it about mourning her box, her “sole companion for 4000 years”.  The Hidden One doesn’t give a shit that she misses her box because she has HIM after all. “Your bounty is of no consequence,” he scoffs. WRONG THING TO SAY DUDE. If The Hidden One could just get past himself he would SEE that Pandora is about to crack and go completely Mother of Dragons on his ass. As soon as she’s feeling better that is.

The Hidden One is ALSO certain that despite the fact that it was Pandora who summoned all the demons to Sleepy Hollow, they are really all there to serve him and his agenda. Typical Man. Pandora tries to appeal to his ego by being like “I would be more effective in purporting your male agenda if you would give me my powers back” and for a second, it seems like he may be swayed. Wouldn’t it be better if he had an equally powerful partner at his side after all? (YES IT WOULD.) However, all hope for Pandora goes straight to Hell when The Hidden One sees the Kindred abandoning his mission all in the name of the Kindress. “I will not allow my powers to be diluted by unnecessary partnerships,” he snarls, as he blows up the Star-Crossed Monsters. Pandora flinches. She knows now that she will always be second class to him. Her face is terrified. The Hidden One would be shaking in his boots if he even cared to take a glance at her.

PANDORA RISE. 6/10 Golems. 

Thoughts for the Archives

• This didn’t really fit in anywhere else, but Joey notices that Jenny is still carrying and using the lighter they stole from her father last week. She tries to brush it off but Joey knows that it means way much more than just carrying around a token. He urges Jenny to talk to her dad. Why? “Because I did the exact same thing,” he says sagely. Joey pushed away his Dad and when he finally came around, it was too late. August had been beheaded. Joey doesn’t want his Jen to carry the same guilt that he does. “Do you know what I’d give to see him? I don’t want YOU to be sorry. I just want you to put your ego aside for half a second and talk to him.” MARRY ME JOEY CORBIN.
• If I cared more about Betsy, I would have found her banter with Ichabod delightful. And is there a more apt nickname for Ichabod Crane than “Rebellious Bookworm”? I think not.
• META META META

• Seriously…all the props for the cinematography in this episode. All the backlit shots on the bridge and when the Kindred and his Bride walked off into the night were GORGEOUS.
• Me, when Sophie encouraged Danny to talk to Abbie:

Sorry for the massive delay in recaps, Sleepyheads!  The Con Crud hit me and Sage big time and I only now have gotten my brain back together. We’re getting back on track though. Let us know your thoughts on “Kindred Spirits” in the comments and stay tuned for Sage’s recap of “Sins of the Father”!