“Benjamin Franklin sends his regards.” – Sleepy Hollow Recap – Dark Mirror

Sleepy Hollow Season 3, Episode 13
“Dark Mirror”
Posted by Kim

I guess it was only a matter of time before Sleepy Hollow TRULY had a story crossover with The X-Files. To the rankings we go!

#CreepyHollow

A very attractive couple in their very attractive workout gear runs in the hills of Georgia of Sleepy Hollow. They show off for each other, each trying to out fitness the other, before the girl stumbles and disappears from the path. Her boyfriend stumbles over her bloody and mauled body before some creature with horns attacks and kills HIM.

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER RUN, PEOPLE.

Turns out this whole scene was observed by The Hidden One, who is out and about looking robust in a tunic and belt from Demon Anthropologie. “Your skills remain quite admirable,” he purrs to the horned guy, who has blood dribbling down his face. (YAY MAKEUP TEAM.) “Do you not recognize your master?” Horned Guy babbles in a garbled tongue (where the wishful thinker believes he is saying “Yo, I thought Pandora was my master?”) as he tries to finds his words. “I haven’t used my voice in a long time,” Horns says. “It is time I gave the Devil his due,” The Hidden One declares while I take a shot because seeing how many Devil puns we can get in this episode seems like it will be a fun game.

Meanwhile, Abbie is still doing her morning runs and she is still tormented by visions of her time in the catacombs. She finishes her run and instead of just collapsing on the couch like an ordinary person, she goes into her shed and LITERALLY clings to her shrine to this mysterious rune. It has a hold on her like Harry Styles has a hold on me. She can’t function without making sure it still exists. Jenny nearly catches her rune worship because for SOME reason Abbie Mills stores her booze out in the shed and Jenny needs champagne for Mimosas. Abbie gamely deflects, suggesting that they just kill the champagne out there, leaving none for the boys. Note to the writers, I would like to see this in a future episode. I know we are all SUPER worried about Abbie’s mental state, but let’s just take a minute to admire what a cunning and adorable minx she is.

 

Team Witness Drunch (BELIEVE ME IMMA TALK ABOUT THAT LATER) is interrupted when Abbie gets a call about two murders at an antiquities museum (dealership? store? whatever, old things were there and that’s the only thing that’s important). Nothing about the murders feels remotely human. The victims have their jugular ripped out like it was a canine attack, but yet the pupils are blown as if they had been poisoned. “Great,” Abbie deadpans. “A menagerie of evil.” Crane harkens back to a legend where a creature who was an amalgamation of a whole bunch of deadly beasts roamed the Jersey woods. “A monster in Jersey? That urban legend, still around,” Abbie says. “It will be nice if for once, the story was just a story.” “Yet, we must face the truth,” Crane says, in his best “we’re about to go to opening titles” voice. “The Jersey Devil has come to Sleepy Hollow.” Somewhere, Fox Mulder’s heart just beat out of his chest.

(Also errybody take a shot because I’ve lost track of how many times Crane has said “{insert monster here} has come to Sleepy Hollow this season.

Back in the archives, Abbie and Crane dig into the history of the Jersey Devil. They find everything from the absurd (it looked like Bon Jovi) to descriptions matching their victims (“the head of a goat, the skin of a snake and the tail of a scorpion”). When Abbie says that a recent set of victims was found in Atlantic County Park (our unfortunate runners), it triggers a memory in Crane. Flashback to the beginning of his apprenticeship with Benjamin Franklin, where Crane’s hair is ESPECIALLY curly and Harry Styles Glorious. (Note to the wig team: WE LIKE THAT ONE.) Crane meets Japeth Leeds in the woods, a man who is Franklin’s nemesis and frenemy. Leeds is exceedingly cocky as his brags about how his work (especially his electrostatic inducer) is far superior to Franklin’s and if ole Benjy doesn’t stop copying him, he’s going to take his ass to the Continental Congress. “You chose the wrong mentor,” Leeds sneers to an exceedingly bemused Crane, who despite his protestations in modern-day, is incredibly faithful to Franklin. It turns out Leeds was ALSO known for seeking out a method to isolate animal traits in order to augment humanity. HMMMMM.

Franklin comes thru for his pupil yet again when the Witnesses find an encoded message from him in his almanac. “Having turned his back on the scientific community, Dr. Leeds has taken to experimenting on himself, altering his very physiology.” In a very Dr. Henry Jekyll move, Leeds began experimenting on HIMSELF. We see Leeds mixing potions and drinking them (I half expected him to burst out with “This is the Moment”) and then sprouting horns and a scorpion’s tail. That’s right…Japeth Leeds is The Jersey Devil and somehow all of this experiments ALSO prolonged his life, so he’s been kicking it for the past 250 years. Wicked. Abbie ponders if his laboratory is still in Atlantic County Park, which means it’s time for a field trip.

As the Witnesses are poking around for the laboratory, Jenny calls to inform them that the antiquities professors were murdered for some items they had on loan from the London Museum. Both objects were solid gold and known to be vessels to the powers of the Gods. Important! They find a Franklin stove in the middle of some ruins, which is odd. Odder still is that it is not FULLY a Franklin Stove but one of Leeds’ design. (Also look how Abbie fonds at him as he examines the stove. Control yourself, girl. Except don’t.) A fire appears in the stove, but Crane sticks his hand in it, knowing it’s an illusion. The stove creaks and moans and WHOOSH, we have a stairway to the lab. How many times have the Witnesses stood before a mysterious staircase leading into the unknown? Enough times to keep track of who has gone down them first. “I went in first last time,” Abbie smirks at Crane. PARTNERSHIP.

Abbie and Crane descend into the lab, where all the torches automatically come on because Leeds installed motion sensors. “Lots of details…but no devil.” (*takes a shot*) Abbie finds drawings of The Hidden One. Crane realizes what makes this case different from all their previous Hidden One monsters…Leeds wasn’t summoned. He came WILLINGLY in service to his master. Before Crane can go further in his deductions, he notices that his partner has basically frozen up as she stares at something on the table. It’s an amulet of Abbie’s rune and she is transfixed by it. She tries to play it cool when Crane questions her but he can DEFINITELY tell that she’s freaking out because he’s just that in tune with her emotions. “That is no alchemy symbol,” he warns. “If it in the possession of a fiend such as Leeds, it can only represent evil.” LISTEN TO YOUR BOO, ABBIE.

After watching Leeds’ home movie about The Hidden One (stay tuned for WHATTHEDAMNHELL) and taking the stolen gold artifacts into account, the Witnesses realize two things. One, that Leeds’ plan is to recreate the Golden Hourglass of the Gods. Two, The Hidden One is drawing the monsters to Sleepy Hollow to use their power for himself because he is a punk ass bitch who likes to steal EVERYONE’S wind. They are interrupted by a “Did I leave the Stove unlocked?” Leeds has joined the party in the lab and he’s CLEARLY delighted to see his pal Ichabod Crane. (“Had I known you were still alive we’d have had sherry and darts Friday nights!”) Crane has no time for pleasantries and banter. He calls Leeds an abomination, stating that Franklin knew his true nature all along. (SO LOYAL ALWAYS, CRANE. ILYSM.) Leeds is all “I’d rather be the Jersey Devil than be mediocre like you” and I love that they went this route with him. Yes, he’s evil AF but he’s so posh and sassy, I can’t help but be delighted by him. “Why should great men bow to the small-minded masses? Imagine an era where genius is rewarded, not feared. That is the promise of the Hidden One.” (Okay, but how is The Hidden One convincing all these people who are more powerful than him to just hand their power over? Is he Donald Trump?) “You’re insane,” Abbie sneers. “No,” Leeds replies. “I’m the devil.” EVERYBODY TAKE A SHOT. (Is that four now? How is everyone feeling?)

Leeds quickly grows tired of the banter. He wheels on Crane saying “Now, which would you prefer… bleeding out quickly from a severed artery, or expiring from a paralytic toxin?” and then promptly stings him with his scorpion tail. Abbie quickly shoots him because that is always her answer in these situations and then Crane, who is already fighting the toxin’s effects, attempts to stab him in the back. (As always, let’s take a moment to appreciate how Tom started contorting his hands as the poison took hold of him. His physicality for Ichabod is SO specific and so consistent and GOD HE IS SO GOOD IN THIS ROLE.) Leeds grabs his lightning rod electrostatic inducer and peaces out with an “If only you had some to work for me” parting shot.

Abbie quickly goes about finding a way to stop the venom from killing her Biblical life Partner. “We’re in a supernatural pharmacy. There has to be something to stop this.” Crane valiantly tries to talk her through it but the venom is working too quickly, rendering him unable to do more than groan. “Stay with me, Crane,” Abbie urges and her calmness is completely reminiscent of when Crane was badly injured earlier this season. Her default mode in these situations is to go all business because there is no other option. Getting hysterical helps no one. Unfortunately, her calm is broken when she spills the antidote everywhere and Abbie begins to freak out. She sees the rune amulet on the table and stops. She’s completely mesmerized (those are whispers she hears, yes?) and all thoughts of the urgency of her partner’s situation are completely forgotten as she focuses on the rune. (Side note: every time Crane brokenly says “Abbie” an angel gets its wings. FACT.) Ichabod manages to moan a “please” right before he loses consciousness and that manages to break Abbie out of her stupor. She remixes the antidote, cradles Crane to her and pours it down his mouth. (Will I EVER be over Tom and Nicole’s size difference? The answer is no.) Her hands are all over his face as she tries to get him to come to but to no avail. Abbie sits and clasps the amulet to her chest as she tries to breathe because she KNOWS she’s fucked up. BIG TIME.

 

 

I mean, I am not going to SAY it is True Love’s Kiss that finally revived him. But that is EXACTLY what I am saying. I’ll get into the ramifications of this situation in the shippy section, so hold tight Ichabbie fans.

After Ichabod recovers, they get a call from Jenny. Leeds was gathering the gold artifacts so that they could be reduced into the Sands of Life to fill the Golden Hourglass. To do so, he needs the Fire of the Gods aka Lightning, which is why he absconded with his lightning rod electrostatic inducer. They realize that Leeds will need to be at the highest point in the area, so they make their way there post-haste. Up in the hills, Leeds is singing the praises of the Hidden One (who is watching via the Pensieve in Pandora’s cave) and then shouts to the heavens, taunting the ghost of Franklin. “Who’s the true master of lightning NOW, Benjamin,” he taunts. (“Why are you so obsessed with me?” Benjy’s ghost shouts.) Leeds turns at the sound of two guns being cocked. Leeds may as well be stomping his foot in a temper tantrum when he sees that Ichabod survived his attack. “It appears I made the same mistake your mentor did: underestimated you.” Crane is essentially like “Yeah you did” and then goes on to warn him that no matter what he thinks, The Hidden One cannot be trusted. Leeds doesn’t give a shit about Crane’s warnings. It’s time to make some sands of life. Lightning strikes the lightning rod electrostatic inducer, the gold melts and swirls into a cyclone of sand. Leeds dances about, taunting Crane, taking no notice of the fact that Abbie is nowhere to be seen.  BOOM Abbie get Leeds in the gut with the lightning rod electrostatic inducer. “I was mentored by one of the greatest minds in history, Crane smirks. “Benjamin Franklin sends his regards.” Lightning strikes. Bye Leeds. It’s too late though…the Sands of Life are gone.

Leeds, despite his hideous looks, was more sassy than scary. 3/10 Sandmen. 

#WHATTHEDAMNHELLHollow

Thanks to Leeds and his super ahead of its time film projector, we FINALLY got some backstory on Pandora and the Hidden one. A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away Once upon a time, the Gods ruled over the world from a golden palace. Humans were nothing to them, mere servants to their whims. Among the LITERAL servants to the Gods was Pandora, who delivered offerings every day as if she was living in some sort of Mythological version of Panem. There was one God who had been outcast and forced to live hidden away in the catacombs (where Abbie was???). If you guessed that this God was The Hidden One, you win a million dollars. One day, Pandora (who is playing up the meek and wide-eyed ingenue thing like a CHAMP) brings him a flower. When he questions her motivations, she bats her eyelashes and says “I only wanted to bring you a bit of joy.” The Hidden One, naturally, is completely enchanted by her and doesn’t question her intentions.  (Leeds says in his voiceover that she was a ray of hope, which is ironic considering that according to the myth, the only thing LEFT in Pandora’s Box after she managed to close it WAS hope.)

The Hidden One reveals to Pandora WHY he is hidden away in the catacombs: all of the evil in the world is hidden away in a singular box and it has fallen to him to guard it. He shows her the box, saying that all the power to destroy his brother above (Zeus?) is contained therein. He’s too busy showing off to notice the look in Pandora’s eyes. I noticed the look right away because it’s how I look at an unopened box of Tagalongs or HQ pictures of Louis Tomlinson in jewel tones. I believe the kids call it THIRST. She is SO THIRSTY for that box from the moment she laid eyes on it (if not before).  But here is where I get confused and where the story starts to get a little murky. Pandora unleashed the contents of the box (HOW) and got rid of all the good guys. Somewhere along the line she evolved from meek servant girl to bad ass powerful sorceress and she and the Hidden One started banging (I can only assume). Eventually “humanity” betrayed The Hidden One and cast him back down to the catacombs. WHO LED THAT BETRAYAL? Based on her thirst for power, I can only say that Pandora did? But somehow The Hidden One doesn’t know she was behind his fall from glory? If she was so powerful, how could she not stop his betrayal if she had nothing to do with it? DOES SHE ACTUALLY LOVE HIM OR WAS SHE USING HIM? EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN.

Later, The Hidden One finds Pandora at the Tree of Wonders. She’s still pale from her lack of power and she’s DEFINITELY still pissed. In a reversal of roles, he brings HER a flower. She’s not buying it at first, but The Hidden One presses on say, “You are the only gift I have ever needed.” Then he FINALLY asks her to join him and her face lights up. I don’t know what prompted this turnaround but I have to think it’s because The Hidden One finally realized that SHE is the more powerful one here. (At least that is what I want to believe.) They stand over the pensieve/hot tub time machine as the golden hourglass containing the sands of life appears before them. “The time has come,” The Hidden One crows. “The new world begins now.” Pandora stares at the hourglass with a familiar expression.

THIRST.

SHE. IS. GOING. TO. GET. YOU. 7/10 Golems. 

#SassyHollow

 

 

Okay, I have a new life goal and that’s to have brunch with Team Witness. Everything about this was glorious. I loved the trio of Ichabod, Jenny, and Joey preparing the meal as they waited for Abbie to get back from her run. We got to see the return of riled up and pretentious Crane as he ranted about breakfast food.

Ichabod: These eggs are named after a traitor to this nation. These delicious baked goods after a member of the Hapsburg Monarchy, which is an affront to anyone who ever fought a Hessian. So, what is in a name? Apparently, nothing.
Joe: Lox?

To quote Sage, SHUT UP ICHABOD EGGS BENNIE IS DELICIOUS. Also I am glad to see that Ichabod still has an affinity for all things baked goods. And I LOVED Jenny’s “I have a new word for you. Mimosa.” WELCOME TO THE NEW AGE CRANE. It’s bubbly and delightful. AND THEN we get Joey looking like an adorable puppy as he shows off his spoon parlor trick. (Dear Zach, if you read this, please let us know how many takes that took. XO.) We have Crane making low-key dick jokes about Benjamin Franklin and you have Joey and Abbie teasing each other as Ichabod and Jenny clean up. It’s all so warm and domestic that you forget that these are a bunch of BAMF demon hunters. More of this, always.

Witness Drunch + All the Sass from Leeds = 7/10 Donut Holes

#ShippyHollow

Speaking of Jenny and Crane cleaning up from brunch, can we talk about how BLATANT Jenny was when she commented on the fact that Crane “seemed happier”.  I read a LOT of fan fic and a comment like that basically means “I KNOW YOU ARE IN LOVE AND I APPROVE.” So. Head Canon Accepted. Also, Crane has the nerve to get all bashful when she says it before he changes the subject and comments on Abbie’s mood. (Which is really code for “Tell me she is feeling it too, Jenny.” Fight me on this.) Both Ichabod and Jenny are perceptive enough to know that despite appearances, things are not completely kosher with Abbie. But they ALSO both know that pushing her to talk will get them nowhere. The only thing they can do is be there and wait and hope for Abbie to open up to them. “We must remain cognizant of her needs,” Ichabod says. YEAH YOU DO THAT.

So we come to the moments right after Abbie wakes Ichabod with True Love’s Kiss. Like I said, Abbie KNOWS she fucked up. You see it cut her to her very soul that she almost let Ichabod die. Thus, the time for secrets and delicate boundaries comes to an end. When Abbie claims distraction, Ichabod calls her on it. “By that symbol,” he says. “One you clutch in your hand even now. You were drawn to it, Lieutenant. It has a hold on you. If it is here, it is a thing of evil.” I think it’s important to note that Ichabod doesn’t call her out because he’s angry. Honestly, I think he could give a shit that he almost died. He’s so concerned about ABBIE in this moment that he feels he can no longer remain silent. And I think that lack of judgement and pure concern and love is what finally breaks her walls and the confessions come pouring forth. “It doesn’t change the fact that I need it,” she replies brokenly and you SEE the horror sweep across Ichabod’s face as he realizes JUST how long she’s been suffering in silence. “The Catacombs, the year of solitude…No sleep, no way to dream…There was no escaping it. I was in my head the whole time, in a bad place, and then, one day, that’s when I saw it, on the temple wall. I started drawing it, tracing it… It gave me peace. Gives me peace. As horrified as he is, Ichabod never says that she’s ridiculous. He simply reminds Abbie of what she is. A warrior. “When soldiers return from war, they do what they need to carry on.” Abbie can definitely read the horror on his face though because she is not an idiot.

Later, when all the battles for the day have been won, Ichabod finds Abbie on the couch, clutching the amulet. An awkward silence hangs between them for a moment because Ichabod has made his views about the clear (he may not want to JUDGE but he’s still entitled to his opinion) and he doesn’t want to fight, considering they’ve both had a stressful day. So he moves to give her space but this time it’s ABBIE who makes the first move. “Don’t go,” she says, barely above a whisper. “Come and talk to me.”  So he does. And like you see in that gif, his FIRST instinct is to touch her but he holds back because this is NOT about him. This is about what she needs in this moment so as much as he may want to hold her and spoon on the couch, he keeps his distance. He’s SO GENTLE with her in this moment and he apologizes for even giving a HINT of judgement (which I didn’t see but clearly he felt he had done so). “I have seen enough men scarred by war. They must use whatever means they can to… live with the memories they carry. It is not my place to judge how one bears their private burdens.”

 

“You could’ve DIED because of how much I needed this,” she says, ripping my heart in two. You can SEE how much she’s beating herself up for letting him down. I LOVE Ichabod’s response to that because his face is very “Yeeeeeeeeeah, I did almost die, my love. That wasn’t great. But you know what? I didn’t. So maybe let’s work through this so it doesn’t happen again.” Yes. I got all that from an inhale, an eyebrow raise, and a head tilt. Tom is THAT good.

 

NICOLE BEHARIE THOUGH. Look at her. Abbie Mills doesn’t go full-out open with her emotions very often, so when she DOES you know it is a significant moment. Abbie is so broken here but you know what? She is also incredibly strong. She’s never been MORE strong than she is in this moment, in the middle of her brokenness. Her eyes never stray from Crane’s face as she says that she has been lying to herself.

 

 

I mean, I know you guys know this but DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANT THAT GRACE ABIGAIL MILLS ASKED FOR HELP? Abbie has always prided herself on her independence, on the fact that she is CAPABLE and she needs no one. But no person is an island. Abbie knows she has reached a point where she can no longer do it on her own. And she trusts Ichabod so deeply that she knows he will not let her fall. You physically SEE Abbie become unburdened the moment she asks him for help. Things may still get bad. But she’s not alone now. She never HAS to be alone. I think she’s finally seeing it now.

And if my head canon is that they snuggled on the couch the rest of the night, then so be it.

 

 

And then there are these loved-up assholes. FIRST OF ALL, we are using the term GIRLFRIEND now, you guys. Second, we have them doing what EVERYONE should do post-Drunch, which is going home for some sexytimes. I love how Joey gently teases her as they walk towards the trailer like he doesn’t PLAN on spending the rest of the day in bed with her. (GOD.) I love how Jenny lights up around him. I don’t understand how anyone can be not on board with these two. They are SO good for each other, it physically hurts me.

 

 

Naturally, because I am not allowed to have nice things, the Joenny afternoon sex romp is derailed by the fact that the trailer’s water main is busted and everything is flooded. BUT THEN the show decides that I DO deserve nice things because Little Joey Corbin starts talking about the future. “You know, Jen, this whole place could use a renovation. We can afford it. Look, we have been unearthing the past for months now. And personally, I’m feeling ready to take on the future.” SET ME ON FIRE. LOOK AT HIS EASY AND CASUAL USE OF THE WORD “WE”. LOOK AT HOW HE CLEARLY THINKS OF THE TRAILER AS “THEIRS”. LOOK AT HOW HE BLATANTLY LOOKS AT HER WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT THE FUTURE BECAUSE HE SEES A FUTURE WITH HER IN IT. WHO ARE YOU JOEY CORBIN AND WHY ARE YOU TORMENTING ME WITH YOUR GOOD AND PURE HEART. AND THEN YOU HAVE TO COCK YOUR EYEBROW AND USE A DAD PUN LIKE “FLOOD MONEY” AND GRIN. GOD YOU HAVE SOME NERVE, SIR.

Overeager puppy that he is, Joey takes Jenny’s permission to spruce up the trailer a wee bit too far. As in an entirely new trailer. To some women (ME judging by the way I reacted to Joey clutching that giant red bow), this would be considered a romantic gesture. To Jennifer Mills, sister of Abigail, and lover of boundaries, a gesture this big and grand is the opposite. Jenny flips her shit, mainly because she was cut out of this choice. It bears repeating that the sisters Mills have grown up completely used to not having anyone to rely on. Jenny has no concept of someone wanting to spoil her just because he can. So instead, the shiny new trailer feels like a violation (“YOU CAN’T JUST REPLACE A PERSON’S HOUSE WITHOUT ASKING.”). That wasn’t at all his intention and you can see that he feels horrible. He just got REALLY excited about a prospect of a future with this girl that he is in LOVE with and he went overboard. I just want to pat him on his head and say “You tried, puppy.”

By the end of the day, Jenny’s crappy trailer is back. And more importantly, Joey acknowledges that he has heard and understood Jenny’s anger. “I jumped the gun but I think you KNOW that my heart was in the right place,” he says sheepishly. He recognizes her boundaries and even though Jenny clearly enjoys torturing him a little bit, he’s obviously forgiven. “Never touch my stuff without asking,” she says, in between kisses. “Yes ma’am,” he grins. GOD. JUST GO DO IT. Clearly that’s what’s on Joey’s mind, but Jenny’s not done tormenting him. She slams the door in his face with a grin, leaving Joey crying out a tormented “JAY!”

I can’t wait till they get married.

EVERYBODY IS TAKING DOWN THEIR WALLS AND I AM HERE FOR IT. 8/10 Fistbumps. 

Thoughts for the Archives

• I know I just finished talking about them, but can we talk about how Joey was all up in Jenny’s space during brunch prep??
• In a not entirely unexpected twist, Ichabod’s citizenship request is denied. I’m curious as to how this will play out with the rest of the season. Will deportation be a genuine risk? Also this: “You helped create this country.” “The irony is not lost on me.”

And that’s our episode!  What are your thoughts on “Dark Mirror”? Let us know in the comments.