Supernatural Season 12, Episode 8
Posted by Dawn and Jaymee
Amidst questions of “Too soon?”, SPN writers took a ‘haters gonna hate’ attitude and went right for the jugular with Lucifer’s story arch for the mid-season finale. Social commentary? Political intrigue? Sex, love and threats of nuclear warfare? We’ve got it all, as you will see, since Lucifer has found his vessel, the one and only P.O.T.U.S; President of the United States. GET IT! We did LOTUS, P.O.T.U.S, yeah we see what you did there. (And, TBH, no one was really questioning Lucifer as the Commander in Chief, in fact quite a lot of Twitter thought it would be a vast improvement, but we digress.)
The mid-season finale for S12 was overall very good, Hell, some points were down right amazing, But there were a few issues, which didn’t surprise the fandom because this ep was written by Bucklemming, the two-person writing team of Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming who have consistently made the worst writing decisions ever on this show. If you tell an SPN fan that Bucklemming are writing, we expect errors, things we will hate, and general groans of “That trick never works.” If you are new to the fandom but also someone who has binged like a MoFo in order to be up to date, let us give you a few examples of fucking Bucklemming:
- The vengeful, racist truck? –> Bucklemming
- Killing Kevin? –> Bucklemming
- Killing Charlie OFFSCREEN FFS?? –> Bucklemming
- Cas getting “honey-trapped” and then killed (and then saved but that’s not the point)? –> Bucklemming
- That “yeah, I get it; he’s a fan” bullshit from S9E21? –> Bucklemming
We could go on, but we won’t. Except we will, for just this little bit more.
JAY: YO! I fucking hate those guys, Chuck damn it. They took both Charlie and Kevin! Not cool bros; not cool at all. You know what? That’s it, I’m bringing back those chain letter emails that make you forward them to 10 of your friends or else you get bad luck and I’m going to make it my mission to fill their Bucklemming inboxes! Hell, I’ll even send them snail mail. Like when your Grandma finds a cute cat picture and prints it out and mails it to you, BUT WITH BAD LUCK, yeah, that’s me bitches. I’m gonna rain some serious Hoodoo down on these jokers! BRB, I gotta go buy some stamps.
DAWN: It’s like they don’t watch their own show. They are the reason SPN needs to hire a fandom/mythos consultant. They don’t know the mythos, or else they do and they just don’t care because they do what they want. I want to meet them, sit them down, and explain how character arcs work, also with maybe a lecture on the hero’s journey, how mythology works, and how to do their damn job. As a professional writer and editor, they are a personal affront to me, and I want to kick them in the shins. Hard.
JAY: I will lend you my combat boots. They are designed for shin kicking.
We said last week that we got the band back together, but this time we really mean it because yas, queen, Rowena and her flawless eyeshadow joined the party this week. Every single scene with Rowena and Crowley was PERFECTION, and yes, we are shocked to say that given the writers. But credit where credit is due, though we are giving most of the credit to Mark Sheppard–who both Dawn and Jaymee agree is absolute perfection, especially when paired with Ruth Connell. Their chemistry is getting better and better, every time we are blessed with their presence on the screen; in their precious, adorable, dysfunctional way, we squeal with delight.
But anyway, back to Lucifer. He took a brief body-hopping tour of the rich and the powerful, including a bishop who makes crosses turn upside down when he walks past them, because it’s not like the devil is supposed to be subtle or anything. Oh and also, Bucklemming, you morons, Catholic bishops don’t wear red. CARDINALS wear red. Get it? Cardinals? Red? Research. It’s a thing.
DAWN: Seriously, I want to punch them.
JAY: They write scripts like bad FanFictions. No research, no background, just whatever I say goes, goes. WELL NO, that’s not how this works. . .you know what, just whatever.
So Lucifer finally lands where he wants to be — in the body of the President of the United States, who is also a widower and a Catholic. Now, we were not privy to the entire internal convo between President Jeff and Luci, so we have no idea how he talked a Catholic President into giving control to the First of the Fallen. Because that’s not important plot point or anything, right? From what we could gather, they’re going to be partners and better humanity or something like that; it really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense that anyone devout would just be like, “Sure, Satan, have my meat suit,” but whatever. We found we had to do that a few times this episode. Just “whatever,” and enjoy the ride. So, yeah, Lucifer is president and also he was a virgin. No, seriously. This was a way better plot point, Virgin Lucifer, because why not.
Yeah. We know.
Oh and because this show doesn’t have ENOUGH Daddy issues, he’s also going to be a father. Of a Nephilim. Great. Again, we know. Angel Radio loses its shit. Castiel almost collapses from the pressure of all the Angels everywhere freaking out all at once; because apparently Lucifer’s Nephilim isn’t just a regular nephilim, no, it’s like a super-powered, seriously dangerous Nephilim.
So, the plan, according to Dean, is “impeach LOTUS, find Rosemary’s baby.” Excellent summation, Dean. The brothers and Cas head out to intercept Lucifer but they get pulled over by the Secret Service because LOTUS (yes, this is happening) told his men that the boys are cult members, planning to assassinate him. But luckily, the cavalry arrives. No, not Crowley and Rowena. It’s, uh, “Arthur Ketch, British Men of Letters,” who thinks he can boss Castiel around like he is some sort of tool to be kept between the shotguns and the grenade launchers. Again, yeah, we know.
Ketch is smug bastard and only involved because sneaky Sam called him. Kinda. He called and then hung up, but that was enough for the British Men of Letters to send in reinforcement. Honestly, why Sam felt he had to call the B.M.O.L., we truly don’t know. And as we’ve said in the past, hiding things from your brother always works so well, doesn’t it, Sam? #NOT. Anyway, he did it and it’s done and now Ketch is here. Team Free Will is like, “Uh, no.” More so when the smug bastard calls Cas, “Halo.”
DAWN: Shin kicks for everyone.
JAY: I think Mr. Ketch is growing on me. At least he’s getting Cas to stand up for himself again, and Dean was maybe a little turned on over that grenade launcher. I know I was.
DAWN: He’s a smug douchecanoe and I hope he steps on Legos.
Mr. Ketch might be slightly unhinged, what with his use of the grenade launcher to take out the Secret Service vehicle and his unimpressed, utter lack of respect for a freaking Angel of the Lord.
JAY: Either he’s unhinged or just that good. It’s yet to be determined. I am waiting with bated breath. I mean even Mick was impressed with Castiel. How many angels has Ketch run into that he just doesn’t care.
DAWN: Smug. Douchecanoe.
Ketch does end up providing our heroes the one thing that might turn the tables for them in their fight against LOTUS. It’s the golden egg from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. No, wait, it’s the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Basically, it’s a golden egg with an inscription that is supposed to be an exorcism short cut. The question is can it expel an archangel too? And really, when we cut to the chase, it’s rather refreshing that the B.M.O.L. are use both magic and technology to devise new and possibly more efficient ways of eliminating monsters. We are wondering where future collaborations will take us. That’s not the point, though; the point is we need to move on to part two of our plan to stop LOTUS.
So, as it turns out Lucifer just wanted to create something and totally calms the fuck down for a minute when he realizes he’s got a kid on the way. Our team of rag-tag heroes see their opening in Kelly, the LOTUS lady thing. Which leads to this adorable AA meeting-style introduction.
JAY: Cas’s little head tilt, omg, I love him.
Kelly agrees to set up LOTUS, who walks right into the trap. Sam sets off the egg; Rowena jumps in with an assist, and it actually looks like it worked. The boys are like, holy shit, and honestly so are we. Because when do their plans ever work without an apocalypse or massive bloodshed of some kind?
DAWN: While I am fully in support of a woman’s right to do what she wants with her own body, when you’re carrying Satan’s spawn, I just don’t know if this is a good idea. And honestly I would have been happier overall if she had been written better, because she came off very weak and oddly…I don’t know…too kind of stereotypically weepy and pathetic. Thanks, Bucklemming, you idiots. SPN doesn’t write their women that way anymore. God, I hate you both.
JAY: I couldn’t agree more. Kelly was written as a highly religious character, and a complete oxymoron. She has sex out-of-wedlock with a widower, then gets pregnant because Chuck forbid two adults use protection in the 21st century. And this highly religious woman is told that she is carrying the spawn of Satan, by an Angel, nonetheless. She is then attacked by said Devil in her boyfriend’s meat suit, witnesses his exorcism, and at barely a few days pregnant she claims she can “feel it inside [her]” Ok ,creepy. This crazy woman want’s to keep it? Keep it and birth the ANTI-CHRIST!? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that the commonly accepted lore is that the spawn of Satan is the AntiChrist. So to have Kelly be openly religious and then make these sorts of decisions makes me insane! Completely inconsistent. I want to rip my hair out.
Crowley puts his hand on mummy Rowena’s shoulder and do what they do best, vanish.We lovelovelove that he took Mummy with him.
JAY: So much better than all the other times he’s just abandoned her and saved his own hide.
DAWN: Crowley loves his Mum. I will not hear otherwise.
Crowley’s expression says it all, because clearly he has watched this show before, unlike the effing writers, and he knows damn well that something is going to go very, very wrong, any second now. So of course it does. So while everyone else makes their grand escapes, for some reason Sam and Dean see fit to hang around until good old Prezzy is up and about, completely forgetting that they are wanted for being suspected cult assassins.
They get arrested. By the Secret Service. Chains, back of the van, and all. Roll credits.
Overall, this was a good finale. Loved that it ended without a supernatural disaster. What our boys are facing now is a very human disaster, and possibly treason charges, which are in fact punishable by death. Even Castiel is facing a human disaster and must contend with the emotions of failing and losing both of his charges. And the preview! Cas and Mary, together again for the first time, really, facing down a challenge, uniting behind a purpose. Dare we say bonding over their boys? We do. We do dare. And we can’t even.
But we also have A Problem with how things worked out just before our boys found themselves on the wrong side of federal law enforcement. Correct us if we are wrong, but our boys have been doing this whole exorcism deal for an awfully long time now, so maybe they might have questioned why Lucifer simply smoked out into a heating vent. Because that’s not how it has worked, for TWELVE SEASONS. When demons simply abandon a meat suit, they smoke out and float off to wherever they go to lick their wounds, presumably hell. When the demon is exorcised, they are forced through the floor, straight down, a one way ticket back to hell, leaving a scorch mark behind. That didn’t happen. Now, it’s possible that this is because Lucifer is an archangel. But he is also the lord of hell and therefore at least partially, by now, demonic. So shouldn’t the same theory apply? Shouldn’t the same result occur? So maybe it’s not that he is an archangel. Maybe it’s that he’s not a corrupted soul, but corrupted grace, or maybe, maybe, it’s just BAD FUCKING WRITING. SHIN KICKS ALL AROUND.
DAWN: Seriously, it’s basically just unintelligible, Tasmanian Devil-like screaming inside my head over that.
JAY: And it’s all because of a FUCKING Heating Vent! I can just picture Lucifer plopping back down in the cage (if that’s even where he went?!?!?) and Michael going “Oh hey, buddy how’d you get back here so fast?” And Lucifer going “Oh you know BASEBOARD HEATING VENTS ALL LEAD TO HELL! Didn’t you know that’s why the air’s so nice and toasty?”
DAWN: I really question your relationship to heating vents. You’re a little obsessed with the heating vent.
JAY: Is it me or is it Lucifer? I mean he’s the one that chose a HEATING VENT to escape through. Also it’s snowing here so maybe I’m just cold.
So, to quote our inimitable hostesses here at Head Over Feels, we just have a lot of feelings about this mid-season finale. So much drama, so much sass, so many questions, so many plot holes, and, honestly, not nearly enough flannel.
Needless to say, January 26, 2017 feels really, really far away, even if we are moving to 8/7c. Be sure to send the kids to bed early!
Follow Dawn and Jaymee on twitter @pieandshotguns, where they will endeavor to fill the mini-hiatus with entertaining chatter and polls and whatever else they can come up with to pass the time.