Scandal Season 6, Episode 3
“Fates Worse Than Death”
Posted by Kim
When Season Six of Scandal premiered, I was SUPER bummed that we jumped over the entire Presidential Campaign to get to election night. We skipped over SO MUCH good stuff. Needless to say, I’m THRILLED with how they are toggling between the present day and the highlights of the Campaign. This week, we get to spend time with our favorite master manipulator, Cyrus Beene. TO THE GIFS.
It’s 76 Days till the Inauguration and we still don’t have an OFFICIAL President.
Okay, I get that Cyrus is the Devil but let’s take a moment to appreciate that he would be the First Openly Gay President. The ONLY white hetero man on that Presidential ballot was Jake and I just want to thank Shonda Rhimes for creating this universe.
“For the first time since election night, you seem you. I like it. Mr. President.” I love how Michael has transformed from Male Escort and marriage of convenience to Husband of the Year. Cyrus does NOT deserve him.
Abby calls Cy in FULL BossBitch mode and tells him to shut his blinds. “In 30 seconds, you no longer talk to ANYONE.” Aw yeah, the shit is about to hit the fan.
David Rosen is giving a press conference saying they are expanding the investigation into Frankie’s death. When asked if this will include Cyrus, David simply replies “Anyone and Everyone” with a dead ass “CYRUS DID IT” face.
Never one to listen to anyone, Cyrus opens his front door and finds a swarm of press and paparazzi on the front lawn.
“Now every idiot with a smart phone thinks he’s Ken Burns.”
“Charlie we are NOT making a sex tape.” COULD YOU EVEN IMAGINE.
“We need to focus!” Huck has no patience for this twitterpaited nonsense known as Charlie and Quinn.
We flashback to the night of the Vice Presidential Debate, where Cyrus DEMOLISHED Jake.
Ooooooooh Frankie seems VERY buddy buddy with Jennifer Fields aka the Campaign Volunteer who incriminated Cyrus before someone blew up her cabin.
“Who is THIS?” Cyrus’ Spidey Senses are telling him we could have another Fitz/Olivia on the Campaign Trail situation on our hands and he isn’t having it.
Back in the present, Cyrus is spiraling. “I am being set up by Olivia Pope.”
“To answer your question, no, I didn’t do it.” Michael is like “Okay, yeah, sure babe. But DIDN’T YOU?”
Lizzie Bear shows up at Cy’s back door. “I crawled across the lawn to get here. My hands touched the ground. Let me in.” BLESS.
“You are literally a snake in the grass.” I love how much they hate each other but are also the best of friends?
“Has ANYONE taken your call?” Lizzie pulls no punches and hits Cy right where it hurts. They BOTH know he’s being shut out.
“And how do you want to help YOU?” Cy knows Lizzie’s visit isn’t selfless. She wants something and what she wants is to be his Chief of Staff.
Back to the night of the VP Debate, Liv and Cyrus engage in some fake “Oh I miss you so much” banter and some backhanded compliments regarding his performance in the debate.
“I’m saying you’ve changed, you’ve evolved, you’ve grown. You’ve gotten good at this.”
“So I’m no longer the troll under the bridge who grunts and snorts, there’s lipstick on this pig now, and look at the monkey dance? That doesn’t even make sense.” Look, I’m with Cyrus here. This conversation would make my head explode.
“I was wrong. I’m saying I was wrong. Look at you. You’ve bloomed. So maybe putting yourself on Frankie’s ticket wasn’t the worst…” JUST STOP TALKING OLIVIA.
“Putting myself on the ticket? I put myself on the ticket? That’s what you think?” I meeeeeeeean, it’s what we all thought, Cyrus. BUT ALSO this is Olivia Pope’s fatal flaw: she throws around comments like this and COMPLETELY underestimates how deep they cut and how it just kicks people’s pride into overdrive. She did it with Abby and now she’s doing it with Cyrus.
“I made his policies, I hid his secrets, I ran his country. Watched the two of you grope each other like a cheap porno. And none of you ever saw me. And that’s fine. You think what you want to think of me. I certainly have all kinds of opinions about Olivia Pope.” YASSSSSS I LIVE.
“You better watch yourself.” Part of me misses when Liv and Cyrus worked TOGETHER but seeing them as adversaries is just so much more fun because they are both MASTER manipulators.
Meanwhile, Abby continues to be the best as she silently stands in judgement of Fitz for pursing the Cyrus angle. She gives him the judgy silent treatment until Fitz can’t take it anymore and I JUST LOVE how she is the only woman on this show to have never been dickmatized by him.
“Already the DOW has dropped 400 points.” TOO REAL SHONDA.
“Stay woke. Vote.” Frankie tries to go after the youth vote, with Jennifer giggling at him from behind the camera and yeah there’s totally something going on, right? At least that’s what Liv thinks as she continues to go over all of her footage.
Fitz meets with Cyrus. “This can now go either one of two ways. We can finish the investigation and you will be arrested, tried, convicted, and executed for the assassination of Frankie Vargas. Or you can step down.”
“You REALLY think I killed Frankie?” I love Cy’s outrage when ALL of his past actions indicate that killing Frankie is exactly what he would do.
“I withdraw right now, if Mellie does.” If Cyrus can’t be President, then dammit, Mellie can’t either. So there.
“She’s not interested in justice or truth. She’s not interested in doing what’s best for the country. She just wants to win.”
Fitz claims none of this has anything to do with Olivia, but Cyrus is no fool. “Of every offensive thing you’ve ever said to me, that might be the worst because that insults my intelligence.”
“America? I’m keeping it. It’s not safe with you.”
“You shouldn’t be calling me.” OH HI TOM.
“You used me and you hurt me.”
“At any moment I can take everything away from you.” CYRUS WHAT DID YOU DO?
Huck stalks one of Jennifer’s friends in a parking garage and she hits him with pepper spray and then kicks his ass. I am so alive.
“Does this look like fired to you?” Someone beat the shit out of Jennifer and girlfriend has proof in the form of a cellphone picture.
“This guy was much more terrifying.” So Cyrus got Tom to take care of Jennifer then.
“I am THISCLOSE and this girl is going to cost me what I’ve earned.” Cyrus perfectly manipulates Tom into volunteering to take care of Jennifer for him. HE IS A MASTER.
“This place is not serving what I’ve been craving for a long long time…” I think Cyrus gets laid more than anyone else on this show and I am fascinated by that.
“I’m in trouble, Michael.” UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR.
“You BEGGED me to come back and you said no more Tom!” Oh Michael. Poor trusting Michael.
“Tom is not a regular person, Michael.”
“I don’t want to be a bad person. I am NOT a bad person, I’ve just made mistakes.” A lot of them.
“Cyrus, what did you do? No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. I don’t ever want to know.”
“Is it done?” And now Scandal becomes Macbeth.
“Frankie Vargas is weak. He’s a normal. You are an exceptional man.” Tom is clearly playing the role of Lady Macbeth here.
“You belong on the throne.”
“You’re a king, Cyrus. I can help you take what’s yours.”
“Frankie’s been good to me.” Yeah and Duncan was good to Macbeth.
“Do you want to be President of the United States?”
“I want to be the President of the United States.” And with that, Cyrus just made a deal with the devil.
Jennifer came to Frankie after Tom beat her up and THAT is the fight that Olivia saw on the tapes.
“She was a threat to you, sir. I knew how that story was going to end.”
“I am a HAPPILY married man, Cyrus. Nothing was ever going to happen.” I actually believe him because Frankie was too pure for this show. (And I think these writers are better than making Frankie into Fitz 2.0)
“Jenny was a threat to your Presidency.” TOM IS TALKING CRAZY TALK.
“Frankie doesn’t matter. He’s the vehicle. We just need to get him to election night, and then we are onto the final piece of the puzzle.”
“You are not to touch a hair on Frankie Vargas’s head!” Oh, I think we passed that point a LONG time ago, Cyrus. You can’t unring this bell.
“You are DEAD to me. You’re dead to yourself!!!” Side Note: I love that this whole thing took place in a mausoleum.
Michael gets Cy a contraband gun in a cereal box for his meeting with Tom because GOOD HUSBAND.
“President Beene.” “Tom.” This is not going to go well.
“I know that I treated you badly, this is about making up for that.”
Is Tom barking at him?
HE IS. “You think I’m a dog who comes when he’s called.”
“This is about putting me back on a leash.”
“I’m done being your bitch, Cyrus.”
“Time to switch positions. I’m on top now.” GOD BLESS THIS INNUENDO.
“You deserve to die more than anyone else I’ve ever killed.” Did Cyrus REALLY think he would get the jump on Tom?
“I used you. You loved me and I used you.” Cy THINKS that admitting the truth will get him out of this.
“There are fates worse than death. Much worse. And you should know.” HEY THAT’S THE EPISODE TITLE.
“At least have some breakfast.” MICHAEL IS PURE. “I’m not leaving you.”
Cyrus rhapsodizes about what his first 100 Days would have been like and GOD Jeff Perry is so magnificent in this role, I can’t even deal.
“My first 100 days would’ve rivaled friggin’ FDR. I was gonna tackle everything, from healthcare to energy reform to education to saving this precarious economy that Fitzgerald Grant never knew what to do with. I would’ve been downright transformational. I had plans.”
“Families would have my picture hanging in their dining rooms. Little kids would tell their teachers they want to be me when they grow up me And not just the gay ones. I mean, every last little boy and girl in this country would be looking up to me. Me. Fat mouth-breathing “last picked in gym class” Cyrus Beene.”
“Delusions of grandeur, like I said. Ridiculous.”
“We can still beat this.” PURE MICHAEL IS PURE. Just reminding you again.
Tom confesses to the murder of Frankie Vargas and that Cyrus told him to do it.
“The electoral college will have no choice but to vote for you.” HI MELLIE I MISSED YOU.
“Mellie, you are the next President of the United States.”
We flash back to the moment that Frankie asked Cy to be his VP. “Maybe we don’t have to vet anyone else…”
“It’s you, Cyrus. I want you to be my Vice President.”
“I’m not a good guy.” “That’s why you’re perfect.” OH THIS WAS A TOTALLY GENUINE MOMENT AND IT HURTS.
“Just say yes, Cy.” We could have had it allllllllllllll…..
“It’d be both my honor and my pleasure, Mr. President.”
THE WAY HE CRIES AFTER FRANKIE LEAVE THE ROOM THOUGH.
How is Cyrus going to get out of this one? Will Mellie ACTUALLY become President? Leave us your thoughts in the comments.