Scandal Season 7, Episode 1
Posted by Kim
HERE WE GO GUYS. Our final season of Scandal. I can’t believe it. Mellie and Olivia are in the White House running the damn world. Fitz is in a cave in Vermont. Quinn and Charlie have a baby on the way. What could POSSIBLY go wrong? Let’s see shall we?
Cyrus said yes to being Vice President. It’s really going to go well. Ahahahahaha.
President Mellie gives her first speech about how she plans on getting everything done and she kills it.
Olivia POWER STRUTS through the White House. All is well in the world.
The way her hair BOUNCES though? Amazing.
“I don’t care about your opinion, I care about your vote.” She is not messing around.
And THEN Liv fucking blackmails with a massive envelope the Senator to secure his vote.
“This envelope makes careers. Not mine, because, well, I’m already me.” I’m SCREAMING.
“Before you asked ‘In what world,’ I’m answering ‘Mine.’ In my world. This is my world. You’re in my envelope-filled world.”
NEW TITLE PAGE
“Where ever we need me.” It’s been like a DAY and Cyrus is already showing that he’s tired of being a stooge.
“Quinn Perkins and associates? What is that? QPA? It’s a babysitting service!” On one hand, yikes David, but on the other hand, TRUE.
“He knows how to be in touch, so if he’s not calling, then something is wrong.” Our client of the week comes in the form of a daughter looking for her father who’s gone missing in the fictional country of Bashran. It immediately raises Gladiator eyebrow.
Our first Father-Daughter dinner of the season!
“You can go wherever you want, Dad.” “Because you have cameras on me at all times.” Her LAUGH at this though. It’s so menacing and don’t fuck with me and I love it.
“Cameras would mean that I think you might run, which would be silly. Cameras would mean that you’re not heeding my advice which would be a mistake. Cameras would mean I believe that you don’t enjoy having dinner with your daughter every week which would hurt.” GODDDDDDDDDDD.
“You don’t play team sports, never have. Not well, anyway.” Rowan scoffs at the whole Team Mellivia concept and I gotta agree with him here to some extent.
“There is a reckoning coming for you, Olivia.” Theme of the season? Theme of the season.
“You cannot have it all, Olivia.” Liv has no patience for this.
“Yes, Curtis, what is your question?” Her SALT on this talk show (where oh where is Sally Langston?)
“Was that your Mercedes I parked next to this morning?” Also there is a lot of sexual tension and eye fucking here. Into it.
I love Charlie making a fruit and cheese plate for Quinn while they are assembling the dossier?
So our client is not a mild mannered business man, he’s a spy. And he’s been caught.
WHO IS IN OLIVIA’S BED? Someone definitely is judging by both her hair AND the fact that she won’t let Quinn in her apartment.
SHE’S FUCKING JAKE OMG. We’re so blessed.
“What are you doing? We’re not finished.” “We finished.” “Well, let’s finish again.” OH MY GOD?
“I thought we were clear about what this was?”
Those are some very tiny underpants he’s wearing.
Don’ t make that sad face looking at pics of Fitz on the TV. YOU DON’T NEED HIM.
“We’re not going to tell the President about any of this.” So the guy is a high-level CIA op and things NEED to be taken care of.
“If we want him to stay an American hero, we need to kill him.”
“I said I need to think about it.” It’s good to know Liv still has SOME level of conscious.
“It was supposed to be ours! A Democratic initiative.” This is DEFINITELY how politics works.
“In 4 years it could be YOUR game-changing legislation. I want you to take the long view.” Oh dear, appealing to Cy’s thirst for power. This lady is SMART.
“You worked for a Republican, you ran as a Democratic VP to a martyred Latino, you serve as a Republican VP to a woman you’re gay, you adopted a black baby, you served time for a crime you didn’t commit. You, my friend, are the liberal dream. Every box checked.”
“Not when you could be President Beene.” OH MAN CYRUS DON’T DO IT.
25 minutes and we haven’t seen Fitz. Bless.
“You made one tough, dark, amazing call one. I liked it. I respected it. But it was one call. There are gonna be 1,000 more.”
“Murder will not be policy in my White House.”Just how you GOT to the White House, eh Liv?
“This isn’t my father’s B613, it’s mine.” GOD, Olivia’s BIGGEST FLAW is her hubris. I say it every season.
“Last I checked you’re second in command to the first female President.” Cyrus’ face = see my above comment.
“Call Senator Greenwald tell her I’m ready to have that drink.” HOE DON’T DO IT.
“But like I said, no one is trying to stir the pot.” Mellie schooling this ambassador who is trying to play innocent about the prisoner is so much.
“You must be being presented with a massive amount of information and intelligence on a daily basis, and it must be difficult to try to figure out whether this information and intelligence is good or bad. Don’t worry I know you’re just doing your job. I don’t take offense.” HE JUST MANSPLAINED MELLIE’S JOB TO HER.
“You’re not wasting time, Liv. You’re out of time, and so are they. We need to shut this down.” Jake graphically describes all the torture this guy is enduring cause it happened to him and he’s all HE WILL BREAK.
“Guess what girls! It’s another old white guy!” Cyrus is sent to meet with a troop of Girl Scouts and he’s NOT happy about it. (Also how real is this statement.)
“We are gonna get this thing passed, you and I.” Mellie shows up to see the girl scouts instead and she’s SO GENUINE and you can SEE Cyrus questioning this whole undermining her plan.
“I appreciate it, is all, Cyrus.”
“It’s a wonder why we spent so many years trying to destroy each other, when all this time we could’ve been friends.” COME ON CY DON’T DO THIS TO HER.
“I came to see if you still wanted your 30 seconds. Dinner you and me, tonight.” VERY SMOOTH TALK SHOW BOY.
“See? There. You’re smiling.” “I am, but it’s nothing to do with you.”
“You’ve made your case, now Jake’s made his.” Ruh-roh, Jake went behind Liv’s back and now Mellie is on board with killing the spy.
“It’s what we’re doing, Olivia.” THEIR DEATH GLARES AT EACH OTHER NO.
“You can stick by your lie, but you should know the consequences.” Liv ACTUALLY threatens the Ambassador’s son to get her way.
“We are bluffing, right Liv? We ARE bluffing.” Huck is like “I mean I will do this for you but are we REALLY doing this?”
She ACTUALLY counts down and of course the Ambassador gives and they get their man back unharmed.
“Your plan has one significant flaw: it’s wrong.” CYRUS YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD STAYING ON TEAM MELLIE.
“The ability to pay for college, Diane, it’s one of the many things that keeps the rich rich and everyone else screwed. But now, right now, we have the opportunity to fix that.
We have a willing President, an enthusiastic House, and enough Senate votes with your say-so to turn this into law.” Can Jeff Perry monologue or what?
“So like I said, your offer makes sense, but it’s morally bankrupt. And if you and your little cadre of cynics show up tomorrow and vote against this bill, I promise both the President and your constituents will hear about how another fat-cat politician would rather hand the other side a loss than give regular Americans a win.” I AM SCREAMING.
“So how’s that for taking the long view?”
Mellie gets her votes and her Free College bill will pass.
“It was wrong of me to go to Mellie behind your back.” Oh, Jake.
“That’s not about being wrong. That’s about being too comfortable.”
“But no matter what, I NEVER should have let you back in my bed.” OH SHIIIIIIT.
“You got comfortable. You got familiar. You forgot who I am. You forgot to be afraid, and you overstepped.”
“GO HOME TO YOUR WIFE ADMIRAL BALLARD.”
“Olivia, Cyrus didn’t take the bait. Looks like he’s Team Mellie all the way.” WAS OLIVIA TESTING HIM OMG.
“Or would you rather put an earpiece in my ear and feed me lines?” Oh SNAP, Mellie.
“You have my back. You don’t sneak around behind it and freelance after I give an order.”
THEY ARE BOTH MAKING EXCELLENT POINTS.
“There’s three things you need to know about me that you should already know, but I clearly need to reiterate. One, you do not ignore me. Because, two, I am right, always. It’s frustrating get used to it.”
“And, three, there is only us. We have it all the people, the pulpit, the purse strings, the guns, all of it. Everything ours to deploy in the defense and betterment of the people and office we serve.”
“But the men outside these oval walls? They want to take it all away from us. Because they are terrified. Because they are outraged. Because they have come to the realization that all those centuries of misogyny and privilege and status quo are finally over.”
“That is why you never listen to a man over me.”
“You want to keep having it all? Reverse the tides of injustice, redraw the map, flood the darkness with light, earn our place, and make it so that a woman holding this office is no longer a novelty but the norm? Then you have to stop thinking of me as an employee and start thinking of me as what I am.”
“And what is that?” “The Boss.”
“Put your faith in me, and me alone, and you will become a monument. Ignore me, allow them to come between us, you become an asterisk.”
We see Olivia on her dinner date with Talk Show Boy. “I’m going to get up now. Let’s give it, I don’t know? 30 seconds? Then you come.” GET THAT SWEET ASS OLIVIA.
“Which one do you want to be, Mellie?” “A monument. I want to be a monument.” YEAH YOU FUCKING DO.
What did you think of the premiere? Let us know in the comments.