First rule of calling a Big Brother house meeting: never call a Big Brother house meeting. Whether you’re proposing a ridiculous “solution” to a new twist, or trying to clear another houseguest’s name, just don’t do it. I mean, yeah, it’s television gold, but if you want to keep your game in tact, maybe err on the side of caution. The Hacker twist is now in full swing, and where I was once super skeptical about how this was actually going to affect the game, I am now wholeheartedly here for the drama of it, misguided house meetings and all. This summer is really marking the 20 season milestone by giving us all the juicy drama that I crave out of this show, and if this Hacker deal is going to keep it up the way it did this week, I’m so pissed that it’s only around for two weeks.
We’ve got a lot to cover, so let’s check in to regularly scheduled madness.
Angela is partially responsible for Brett’s last plea speech by putting the idea in his head. She’s also talking shit about Rachel all over the place. I thought she was your ride or die?
“He doesn’t have any brains. I’m his brains.” -JC re: Faysal. So…I guess this is the season where “best friends” in the house just bash each other behind their backs? Okay, cool.
Tyler is a goddamn evil genius, playing both sides. I can’t believe I ever doubted this guy. It’s going to be so sad when the jury can’t get over themselves enough to let him win.
The Hacker comp is introduced. Aside from the painfully on the nose Russian accent describing everything this entails, I’m actually pretty excited about it? Whoever wins the comp has the opportunity to hack the nominations after the ceremony by replacing a nominee, choose a houseguest to play for the veto, AND prevent a houseguest from voting on eviction night.
“This guy sucks.” -Rockstar re: Brett. I mean, she’s not wrong.
Sam calls a house meeting. Um…this doesn’t feel good. Abort mission, abort mission…
Sam proposes that everyone throws the hacker comp to her. Then when she gets it, she’ll refuse to use it. Look, I honestly don’t think she went the “I’ll have all the power” route of thinking, because her gameplay has basically been the exact opposite of vindictive, but still…maybe think these things through before you do them. There is no reason anyone would be on board for that.
Angela nominates Scottie and Rockstar for eviction. Enjoy having the only say while it lasts…
Hacker comp begins. Where are they right now? What is this hallway? Why do the production values for this segment make it look like some CSI shit is going down?
“I haven’t actually touched a computer in the last five years.” So Sam’s got this on lock, then.
“As a cyber security engineer…” BRETT. STOP SAYING THAT. IT DOESN’T SOUND REAL.
It’s so satisfying that Brett only got one out of seven words. That’s what you get for being a dick and spelling “Anal lice” out of “Alliance.”
Haleigh is this week’s hacker. And what sounds like a demonic Big Brother gathers everyone in the living room to unleash her wrath. Let the shenanigans begin.
Scottie is removed from the block, which is obviously adding fuel to the fire that everyone thinks he’s the hacker. This guy just keeps getting blamed for everything he doesn’t do, what gives?
Tyler is the replacement nominee, because “you can not ride the fence and not get noticed.” HALEIGH. GOOD FOR YOU. I mean, there’s like no way this is going to go anywhere, but still. Good for you.
“Did you win it and put yourself on the block?” -JC to Tyler. Yeah, what’s this about being the brains again?
Tyler thinks Bayleigh is the hacker. So now everyone in Level Six (or Level Four, or whatever) is working under this assumption. Buckle up.
Hayleigh picks Kaycee to play in the veto. She kind of screwed herself if she really wanted Tyler out. Whoops.
WHY DO WE KEEP BRINGING JESSIE BACK?! WHO KEEPS ENCOURAGING THIS JACKASS? Just knock me out now and tell me who wins when I come to.
This comp is just a bunch of running and catching. And Hypothetical Houseguest Me will take whatever lame ass unitard you have in that box and just go to sleep, because I refuse.
Kaycee gets another goddamn unitard. The girl can not win with these punishment comps.
Scottie’s trying to get Tyler to throw the veto comp. The guy who just got taken off the block wants his replacement to throw the veto comp to him. I just…in what universe would Tyler ever agree to that?!
Scottie almost gives up $5,000 for the veto and makes Angela pinky promise he won’t go up. Because that’s obviously a binding agreement.
Tyler wins the comp and takes the trip to Hawaii from Brett instead of the veto. Which means that Angela gets the veto this week. How is this not setting off alarms that he’s playing both sides right now? HE’S ON THE BLOCK.
“The best part is, the hacker is going on the block.” Tyler, you are so smart in this game, but no. Just…no.
Kaycee’s a peanut for the week. Every time the Space Pecs jingle comes on, she has to sing and dance for everyone. All. Goddamn. Week.
Rockstar gets Jessie’s Fitness and Food program. Every time she hears Jessie’s voice, she has to make something and do an exercise. Which honestly sounds exhausting for everyone in that house. Punishments all around, people.
Brett gets to take care of whichever actor they hired to play Jessie’s grandma for 24 hours. Can CBS just do us a solid and skate right past this part during the live show? Because literally everything else in the game is more important than this ridiculousness.
“I’ve known who the hacker was since day one.” Hmm…okay, so who’s gonna tell Angela she’s all kinds of wrong on this one? She takes Tyler off the block because of her alliance, and puts Bayleigh up because she has zero handle on what’s going on in this game.
“It went down flawlessly.” Except for the fact that you 100% failed at guessing who the hacker is, but okay, Angela.
Haleigh feels insanely guilty about Bayleigh being put up because of the hacker comp. I honestly feel for her, but sometimes this game takes crazy turns.
We have to sit through a segment about Brett’s punishment during the live episode. And his InstaGranny is…the same guy who was screaming at Rachel for 24 hours for the Crap App? I don’t want this. Nobody wants this.
THIS INSTAGRANNY SEGMENT IS SO LONG, JUST GET TO THE GOOD STUFF OR GET OFF THE STAGE. Guys, I was all over the spoiler blogs Wednesday night. There was a house meeting that literally blew everything up, and got the alcohol that they were going to be given during the party marking the halfway point of the game revoked, and you’re wasting time during the live show on this?! For the love of fuck.
Haleigh calls a house meeting to tell everyone that she’s the hacker. Oh holy shit, here we go.
Bayleigh and Tyler blow up because Tyler won’t apologize to Bayleigh for that cocky attitude. It escalates SO FAST, and somewhere in the middle of it, Bayleigh apparently bit her tongue so hard she drew blood. Literally all Tyler had to do was say two words to her. What the actual hell.
“I’d really like to not meet Julie in this sick outfit.” Honestly, valid point, Rockstar.
Bayleigh opts to be the bigger person in her last plea speech. Which is amazing, because I don’t think I would have been able to do that.
Do they really need to go through the BB Hacker charade when everyone knows it’s Haleigh? Like, the surprise has been spoiled.
Haleigh cancels Tyler’s vote. Because duh.
The audience audibly groans when Bayleigh’s side of the house vote to evict her. It just gives me so much life when they actively call the houseguests on their shit.
Bayleigh is evicted from the house and moves to the jury house. This was kind of a shit way to get evicted, but at least she made it to a point where she’ll have a say in who wins the game.
“I don’t want to talk to these people.” -Bayleigh re: her goodbye messages. And really, who wants to watch a bunch of smug ass people sit in their wrong opinions?
Everyone keeps picking the wrong option on the HOH comp and swearing and making the live show go to the fishes. Guys, ten second delays are part of live TV for a reason. Just censor them and let me see their reactions as they fail.
Haleigh is the new HOH. Which means that Tyler will probably use his power app and then have to deal with the fact that he was all over Bayleigh because of her power app. Unless everyone STILL thinks Bayleigh was the hacker, in which case, how dumb are you?
What did you think of Angela’s turn at HOH? And who’s with me in thinking the hacker twist should last longer than two weeks? Let’s chat in the comments.