Schitt’s Creek Season 6, Episode 7
Posted by Gillian
Moira’s train wreck Herb Ertlinger commercial in the middle of Season 1 was probably one of the first times I fully realized how hilarious this show could be and how hard I was going to love it. So I was extremely psyched to learn the great fruit vintner would be returning, and with a Moira-based vintage, no less. And while Moira Rosé sadly won’t actually be coming to frui(t-wine)ition, Herb’s (or is it Erb?) return brought plenty of good stuff with it. Not only did we get drunk Moira again, we got a Moira-David storyline, which is always a treat. And this one in particular was doubly-great, because it provided both hilarity (so, so many great reaction faces from both Catherine and Dan, holy moly) and solid mother-son bonding. Of course, Moira still can’t pronounce Ertlinger unless David has just whispered it to her, and of course the wine is still terrible – although, honestly, amoxicillin is a better flavor than I’d expect from a strawberry peach rosé. But when Herb leaves them to grab the coffee grinds and cheese board – to bring out the tomato notes, I guess? – Moira and David do their best to figure out a way to make this promotional opportunity work, hoping two (or three) wine wrongs might make a right. And they almost get there.
But the real win from their wine-tasting misadventure is the heart-to-heart they manage to sneak in somewhere between the second and third dozen glasses. Backed by her very true (if a little gross for her son to hear) assertion that she and Johnny have made beautiful wine together for forty years, Moira feels confident David and Patrick’s relationship will likewise only get better with age. It’s a really lovely moment, one that even David can’t snark away. And it’s followed up by some genuine wisdom, from one potent grape to another: that just because their partners are the more understated in their respective relationships, doesn’t mean they need less attention. It’s such a hugely important piece of advice, offered so casually and in such a ridiculous setting. Moira knows important things, y’all. Especially when it comes to getting the best wine from a subtle grape.
Speaking of the precious two men in their lives, thanks to Patrick having to vacate his house after David convinced him to install a fancy Japanese toilet – so fancy it requires an entire wall to be removed (IT WAS IN THE EMAIL, PATRICK) – and Moira having stolen David away for wine tasting, Patrick’s left all alone at the motel. And thanks to Roland peaking into Johnny’s son’s bedroom in a not at all creepy way, Johnny not only knows that, but is convinced to have the ol’ father and son-in-law chat. It was a little strange to me that Roland had to put the idea into Johnny’s head, and even push him a little to actually have the chat. Maybe Chris Elliott has it in his contract that he appears in every episode this final season, because truly there’s no real need for him to be in this one. But whatever it took to get Johnny into that room with Patrick, I’m glad it happened. Because Eugene plays nervous, bumbling Johnny to absolute perfection, and this is a beautiful showcase of that.
His waxing poetic about pizza (“Cheese, tomato sauce, bread, can’t beat that combination!”), his attempts at baseball commentary (“Almost got a glove on it. That would have been good.”) and excitement (“Fellas!”) when he clearly has no idea what’s going on. It’s all gold. And Patrick clearly appreciates it as much as I do. But more on that below. We’ve got some elevating to do!
It seems Alexis has thrown herself full-force into her work – no doubt attempting to prove to herself she made the right decision in choosing to take advantage of her career momentum rather than meet up with Ted in the Galapagos. Or maybe to try to make herself feel better after all the buzz and interest from fancy New York PR firms led…absolutely nowhere, apparently? Whatever the actual cause for it, her enthusiasm over her new roles as Elevation’s Official Regional Brand Ambassador and Regional Brand Invigorator seems to have blinded Alexis to a few technicalities when she invited Ronnie, Jocelyn, Twyla, and Stevie to a spin class. You know, just minor details like demons (both carb and actual) and gateways (both symbolic and literal…ly in the sky).
But Leadership is so thrilled with Alexis’ hard work and Citrus has come all the way from the East Coast ring and is really cute so they ignore the warning signs (and stains on the mandatory workout uniforms) and get to elevating! The class is reminiscent of Spirit Cycle in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt in its flawless depiction of the cult-like flavor of certain fitness trends. Tristophe – I mean Citrus – is so convincing as he shouts near-nonsense platitudes (“Alright, my Elevators. We are ascending not depending!”) and too-fun-to-draw-suspicion call and responses (“Where are we going?” “Up!” “And what’re we leaving behind? “Everything and everyone!”) that it’s not really all that surprising that basically everyone is onboard by the end. Twyla’s ready to share a tent. Ronnie’s all in. And Jocelyn’s about to hand over her social security number. Even Stevie admits she didn’t hate it. Although, luckily, she convinces Alexis to get some language clarification, which finally leads to Alexis realizing what’s really up.
The exit sign in this room’s arrow is pointing straight up, so let’s just casually mosey on through this week’s superlatives on our way to the changing room emergency exit.
Love That Journey For Them: David and Patrick Just Are
Character development wasn’t exactly a focus of this episode, which is fine. Great, even. We’re officially now halfway through the season <cue gentle sobbing> and our Schitt’s Creek residents deserve some time to just be themselves. Which means we get the great pleasure of watching them just be themselves. And for David and Patrick, that means being the cutest, snuggliest damn couple on television. And not in an obviously or obnoxiously PDA-ridden way, just in a completely realistic, settled-couple who both enjoy physical affection kind of way.
I realize David and Patrick’s little touches and kisses throughout this episode aren’t indicative of their growth or development – they’ve always been like this, god bless us, everyone. But that doesn’t mean I can’t demand that we all take a moment to celebrate them anyway. This week, the journey we’re celebrating is that of the depiction of same-sex couples on sitcoms, having finally arrived at the point of ordinary. It’s exactly the fact that David and Patrick have never shied away from the casual intimacy that peppers every day of a romantic relationships – that it’s never been note-worthy that they so often kiss and touch and gaze because why should it be – that makes it so special. Because gay couples on television usually have to exist as a Very Special Thing. A Big! Deal! Something other than a normal, everyday couple. They don’t get to just be, usually. Dan Levy has spoken many times about how he’s consciously gone against that in Schitt’s Creek, refusing to pretend like David and Patrick are different from any other couple on television. Mundanity has never been so refreshing.
Moira’s Rose’s Garden’s Honorary Rose of the Week 4856: Twyla
Twyla’s sweet support of the Rose family has been well-documented over the course of the past five and a half seasons, illustrated most consistently in the context of her friendship with Alexis. This week, her generosity of spirit is particularly, well, elevated.
She agreed to subject herself to an exercise class she knew was a front for an actual cult – even loaded up with nocturnal affirmation cassettes you can only play on one of their cassette players to make sure they play at the right speed while you sleep – just because she wanted to support Alexis’ career. And yes, Ronnie and Jocelyn were also there for Alexis, but only because she’s pushed pretty hard for it. And sure, Stevie stayed despite the really weird vibe she was getting, but she’d been promised lunch. Twyla’s intentions, as ever, were purely selfless. And especially in the wake of her decision put her career first, plunging herself into work with such intensity that she’s missing fairly obvious warning signs – that’s exactly the kind of friend Alexis needs.
“Roland in the Bedroom” Funniest Bit: Moira and David Get So Drunk
The entirety of Moira and David getting drunk together trying to figure out some way to make a Moira Rosé worthy of Moira’s promotion and Rose Apothecary’s shelves is great fun. But the final act of their shenanigans, when they’re at their drunkest and Herb has finally had enough, is full of a truly impressive number of laugh out loud moments for a scene under two minutes. From Moira intensely tilting and staring into a glass as operatic music plays and David falls asleep on his feet before triple-checking a wine that makes him gag-laugh to Moira asking if maybe the wine has oxidized and David asking if Herb is actually pronounced with a silent H, and finally to Moira believing their favorite wine was a non-existent strawberry radish one, which David thinks actually sounds refreshing, the whole scene is incredible. And that’s even before Patrick and Johnny enter to take them off poor Herb’s hands.
Their pure joy at seeing their men. David’s sloppy kiss and Moira’s pitiful and unintelligible attempt to confirm to Johnny the car keys are in her purse. Moira’s thumbs up at not having liked a single wine and David’s continued spree of wild facial expressions. Their taste-testing marathon may have been a complete failure for Moira and Rose Apothecary, but at least David got out of watching baseball, at least we all got to laugh a lot, and at least Herb got a promising new idea.
The “David Plucking at the Plastic Sheet” Funniest Moment: Moira’s and David’s Reactions to Herb Calling Johnny
Catherine O’Hara and Dan Levy both play funny-drunk so so well, which is utterly unsurprising but still welcome, and their respective reactions to Herb telling Moira that he’s called her husband are peak drunken idiot hilarity. Where Herb was obviously trying to chide her, Moira’s just excited at the thought of Johnny joining them:
And David’s instinct is to sass his mother as though she’s in trouble:
Each reaction is perfectly in (drunken) character and so goddamn funny. Let’s all hope there’s at least a 30-minute montage of extended cuts and outtakes from this scene in our future.
Aw, David! Sweetest Moment: Johnny and Patrick Have the Son-In-Law Talk
I see you being a good parent again this week, Moira, but I’m afraid you’ve been bested by the achingly sweet conversation between Patrick and Mr. Rose. From Mr. Rose’s adorable awkwardness – which Eugene Levy plays with such earnest perfection I can only hope he and Dan have had multiple similarly painful-in-the-best-way conversations – to Patrick’s endearing attempts to make space for Mr. Rose to say his piece, it’s all so cautious and tender and full of love.
What I thought was going to be a conversation where Johnny ensures Patrick knows he’s part of the family ends up being one where Patrick assures Mr. Rose knows how much he loves and respects his son (and their family) and how dedicated he is to protecting him. I wouldn’t have guessed that Johnny needed to explicitly hear that, but based on the tears he’s barely able to hold back – earning every damn award nomination Eugene’s collected the past few years for this role – he clearly did. And I love that Patrick realized, and was able to tell Johnny so gently but also so clearly, everything he’d been having trouble asking.
Just because something goes without saying, doesn’t mean it should.
Blouse Barn Durability Award for Best Look of the Episode: David
Honestly, Moira’s outfit made me straight up gasp. My notes from her first appearance just say “Moira’s black and gold outfit Jesus Christ” and every time I see it, it still packs a punch. But just because it’s flawless doesn’t mean it’s Blouse Barn Durability Award-worthy. Sorry, Moira, but I’ve got to give this one to David’s…wrinkled khaki sheet shirt? If there’s another fashion word for what he’s wearing, I have no interest in knowing what it is. All I know is, it’s classic David – a little bit baffling and a lot bit funky. And the fact that I hate it doesn’t mean I don’t love it. If you can be a fashion plate, I don’t see why you can’t be a fashion napkin.
A Vocabulary Lesson from Schitt’s Creek’s Resident Sesquipedalian
Moira-lot, Moira Rose-ling [moi-ruh-loh, –rohz-ling], n. hypothetical wine blends with delightfully punny names that might result from mixing one or more of the following Herb Ertlinger wines: strawberry peach, ground fruit blend, and banana rosé.
oenological [ee-nol-oj-i-kuhl], adj. of or relating to the science of viniculture, the science or study of making wines. As in, “I’m so happy that I wrestled you away today for this oenological escapade.”
sagacity [suh–gas-i-tee], n. acuteness of mental discernment and soundness of judgment. As in, “If I may impart a slice of marital sagacity: you and I, we’re two potent grapes.”
A Lotta Bit Alexis
Apparently – naturally – she’s been in a cult before. But the fun kind. You know, like when you go to India to follow a long-haired sexy man around for a couple of months and then come home with a rocking yoga bod.
And a Tiny Bit of Twyla
Her mom tried to take her to the Gateway – the literal gateway in the sky – for spring break one year.
Estate Sale Auction Items
- Who DID come up with the word bunt?
- “Won’t be the last we see to clamber out of the woodwork now that I have a hit film on my hands. Spines tend to liquidate in the presence of success.” Moira is spewing wisdom this episode.
- Moira shot print heartburn ads with Anne Geddes! Naturally.
- Love that we now know the name of Jocelyn’s chosen knock-off but still-expensive workout clothing brand is Lulu Lime. Obvious, maybe. Perfect, definitely.
- Annie Murphy out here continuing to be flawless. No wonder she’s landed herself a starring role in a new show!
- Now where’s Dan’s?
- “Alexis, can I still go on the trip? I’m not saying that I need it. It’s just last weekend I snuck Roland Jr. Into the ball room at Ikea just so I could eat a meatball by myself.” Thanks to Jocelyn for validating David’s choice not to have kids.
- Everyone – even Johnny! – making fun of Alexis for falling for Elevation is the kind of family ribbing I’m very much here for. And hopefully being irritated with her family means she won’t beat herself up for too long about it.
- If you ever wondered what I’m like at home, Moira holding out her bottle of pills to Johnny and requesting, “open, please!” is a pretty solid approximation.
- Any episode tag that involves the entire family in the motel is one I’m going to love. And having Patrick witness and be a part of it was the perfect way to wrap this particular episode up – a nice little reminder of what he’s signed up for.
Would you drink a strawberry radish wine? Where do you think that exit sign actually led? Do you think Patrick’s new Japanese toilet will be as good as David’s promised? Come chat in the comments!
Featured Image Source: CBC/Pop