Comic Con Speed Dating is a thing that happens.
As soon as I received the email notification about it, I knew I had to go. What would possibly make a more perfect Head Over Feels post? Also: I’m single, pushing 30, and own a Sonic Screwdriver with light and sound effects. I must be the target demo.
The day drew nearer, and I started to actually get a little excited. I love people who love things. And people who don’t love things sort of freak me out. Also, hot geeks exist; I’ve seen them. I assumed the room would be filled with guys like this:
Or this:
Or maybe even this:
Ugh. Remember NASA guy?
I arrived at the Javits Center last night and made my way through throngs of anime characters, Marvel superheroes, and several decent Marty McFlys (Doc Brown was signing at the Autograph Table). I signed a photo release, picked up my badge, and headed around the corner to the girls’ holding pen. The guys were around another corner. No peeking, I suppose.
There were some fine looking women in my group. I predicted that the tattooed hottie in the sexy Ewok outfit would get the most numbers. Dudes: do not sleep on geek girls. They’re smart, funny, and probably own a lot of costumes. Do with that what you will.
We chatted while we waited – most girls had never speed dated before, but most were Comic Con veterans. Some were with friends, some were rolling solo like me. (KIM, I WISH YOU HAD BEEN THERE!) We were herded into a convention room where pairs of folding chairs faced each other, each topped with a 3×5 index card and a pen. Two long tables were at either side of the room, with 30 or so numbered sheets of paper that were otherwise blank. The host of the show introduced himself and gave us The Talk. If we felt uncomfortable or unsafe during a date, we were to stretch our arms and arch our back. Once the date was done, he would follow up, get the story, and probably toss the guy out. I don’t know if he realized the irony of pushing one’s chest closer to the face of a known creeper, but I assume not. He also told us that we “better have a sense of humor,” cause he was going to be lightening the mood with some “edgy jokes.”
Get me out of here.
The host proceeded to tell a few “jokes” that made me wish I could pull the ol’ boobs-in-face-back-stretch secret code on him. Finally, the moment of truth. The guys filed into the room. No love at first sight, but also no immediate evidence of serial killing tendencies. Not even a Dexter cosplay. We were given the lowdown on the process – 3 minutes, no names, guys rotate, and keep track of the numbers of the dates we liked on our cards. Annnnnnnnd…go.
Let me just say: the guys were, on the whole, quite lovely to talk to. Comic Con draws a pleasantly diverse group in age, race, and background. No one was cripplingly shy or scary or inappropriate. I just have a few pieces of constructive criticism:
- Boys, you are at COMIC CON Speed Dating. You don’t have to pretend to be normal and uninteresting with us. The most fun conversations started with “What are you here to see?” or “Have you gone to any panels?”, and not the most dreaded question in any form of organized or unorganized dating: “So…where are you from, originally?” #theworst
- It’s not cute to put your date on the spot. “What’s the most interesting thing about you, in 8 words?” Slow your roll there, tiger. All of a sudden, what should be a low-stress conversation is an audition. What’s so great about you that we need to pull out some fact and impress you? Please.
- Do not question our loves. When they saw my Loki: God of Cuteness shirt, several guys responded with incredulity. “That guy?” “Loki’s cute?” “I don’t think most girls would agree.” My response was always, “Check Tumblr. Every girl with a Tumblr is in love with him.” One dude was like, “Why?”
If you want to date a geek girl, you should probably get used to hearing about this guy.
No love connection for me, but a few of the guys wrote their contact info on my sheet. I’m terrible at taking notes though, so I don’t remember who any of them were. Whoops. Still, meeting 30 single dudes isn’t a bad way to spend two hours. The only excruciating part came at the end, when our host held us hostage and made us listen to his celebrity impressions. Sorry ladies, he’s taken.
And that’s Comic Con Speed Dating! I did it so you don’t have to. Leave your dating event war stories in the comments and we’ll all feel less alone.
I can…sort of relate to this, specifically the nerdy guys being weird while trying to impress you. One day I was wearing my TARDIS Space Program shirt while out shopping, and we went into this leather shoe store. There was one employee working and he saw my shirt and said “Ah, cool shirt! Yeah, I’m a pretty big “Whovian” myself!”.
Now I always like to daydream about people recognizing my shirt and we become instant BFFs and hang out all the time, but I’m just awkward in real life so I just smiled and kept wandering thru the store. So he starts following me and trying to talk to me, and he asks me who my favorite Doctor is. I say Matt Smith and he starts rolling his eyes and scoffing at me. So I ask him who his favorite was, and he says, “Well, I bet you’re too young to know who Tom Baker is, har har!” like I’m supposed to be impressed. And he couldn’t have been more than 5 years older than me, so by his logic, he would also be too young to know who Tom Baker is.
And, also, if you’re trying to prove that you’re a bigger/better “Whovian” than me by preferring an older Doctor, you should maybe not pick the longest running and most popular “Classic” Doctor.
So, at this point I’m just looking at merchandise, no longer making eye contact or responding to him at all, and he keeps following me and he launches into this rant about how much he hates Moffat and how ridiculous Moffat’s stories are. “I mean, Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, come on!” he exclaims.
Ugh. I don’t care, dude. I do not care at all about the things you don’t like. Don’t come up to me, ask me what I like, and then start bashing it up and down the room. That’s not the way to get into my pants. You will get into my pants by loving things, not by hating things. Because I also love people who love things.
“You will get into my pants by loving things, not by hating things.”
I want to print this on a t-shirt and wear it everywhere. I love everything about this comment.
–S
8 WORDS: Fuck you, I’m not auditioning for you sir.
BOOM.
-K
#nailedit –S
I remember watching the Comic Con speed dating on TLC last year I think? Was it the bigger guy who was the host? He met his wife at the speed dating I think?
Yeah, I think they were filming another episode there this year. Was he super annoying on TV too? I don’t know how some people manage to get their own shows. –S
Also if Zach Levi showed up to a Comic Con anything I’d sell my left kidney to be there for him! I kind of adore him to a sick degree!
I have dreams of dreams about finding a guy who loves tv and things like I do. You’d think comic-con would be ideal! Hey if I’m ever in nyc in the time of comic-con I will go with you.
Anytime! I think the idea itself is awesome, and I’m sure they’ve had tons of success. I didn’t find a match, but that was one session out of 10. –S
Also, if you are ever in NYC in GENERAL, clearly we would all go get drinks. -K
absolutely