Scandal 3 x 09
As soon as The Sound of Music LIVE! ended and I sent Sage and Steven on their (slightly tipsy) way, I fired up ye olde DVR for that night’s episode of Scandal. Whoo boy. If I had been the least bit sleepy, which, let’s face it, after three hours of Carrie Underwood’s acting, I was…my LORD the first five minutes of “YOLO” woke me up in a hurry. In fact it drove me to text Sage, who was probably still waiting for the N Train at my stop, “JESUS THE FIRST MINUTES OF SCANDAL!!”.
Sorry not sorry.
Enough talking. To the gifs!
And the episode opens with Huck starting to torture Quinn. So this is how it’s going to be?
“You’ve been a bad girl.” And Huck just became Annie Wilkes.
“I’m so sorry, because I am going to enjoy this.” Is Huck always this overtly sexual when he is torturing people or am I looking through shattered shipper goggles?
OMG HE JUST LICKED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!
OHMYGOD GOING FOR HER TEETH. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.
“What’s that stupid thing you say? YOLO?”
“I’m asking you to abandon your beliefs for the greater good.” #politics
Olivia huddled in the corner over mommy.
Abby: “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME?” Abby always speaks for the fandom.
CUTTING THE TRACKING DEVICE OUT. Seriously this episode is trying to see how many ways it can terrify us and we are only in the first 20 minutes.
Oooh who is this lady friend of Harrison’s? And can we get a storyline for them?
Momma’s fantasy life for Liv: “Because dentists come home for dinner.”
“Are you saying I’m NOT happy?”
“There’s only two people in this world that matter: Olivia and yourself.” Jake only speaks the truth, y’all.
“Must be nice letting other people fight your battles.”
Lest we forget, Quinn is naked and duct taped. And now trying to free herself by breaking a glass and sawing said duct tape.
James’ dapper velvet jacket. The whole outfit really.
James is definitely fucking with Cyrus regarding Sally’s husband.
“Could have been a threesome.”
Brian McKenzie’s glee at killing people.
Two teeth gone…
“Don’t all boyfriends do favors for their girlfriends?” Abby and David though.
“The days of you telling me what I can and cannot do are over!” Sally has HAD IT y’all.
“You will regret this day forever.”
“See you on the battlefield.”
“You had sex with him, you had sex with him, YOU HAD SEX WITH HIM.” It’s totally wrong, but I LOVE me some Cyrus and James fights. Also, Jeff Perry is due an Emmy nomination next year.
“I thought you WANTED me to have sex with him!”
“Why you would pimp out your own husband?”
“You used me like a cheap whore!” #truth
“You have RUINED us, Cy!”
James’ way of asking for a divorce. Devastating AND amazing all at the same time.
“You got PHOTOS?” Oh come on, James, how can you be surprised by THAT?
Cyrus’ breakdown to Mellie.
“It hurts until it doesn’t. You will be fine — numb, but numb and fine are the same.” MELLIE MY SAD QUEEN.
“I’m your boyfriend, I wanted to see you. Normal boyfriends drop by.” OTP OTP OTPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.
AND SHE CALLS FITZ.
“I’m not calling you to ask for help. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“What is it you say? Consider it handled.”
“Are you going to cry? That’s against the rules.”
FROM BEING TORTURED TO DOING IT WITH BRIAN MCKENZIE.
Sally’s reaction to the pictures. “This plan of yours backfired. You lost.” But really…so much rage there. Fantastic acting by Kate Burton.
“I’m not going to use the photos, James.” I mean, aside from when I showed them to Sally just now.
“You are seriously the best girlfriend I have ever had.” Who is up for a Bonnie and Clyde spin-off for these two kids?
Liv runs and hugs her mom before she gets on the tiny plane and all I can think of is this:
“My father was trying to protect me…” Uhhhhh….what?
“He’s not the monster. SHE is.” WHAT IS HAPPENING?! SHONDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quinn with a concealed hypodermic clearly going for Rowan. WHOSE SIDE IS SHE ON?
“Cyrus, I’ve committed a sin.”
OMG SALLY KILLED HER HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHEW!!! Who IS Olivia’s mother really? Will Quinn murder Rowan before we can learn the TRUTH? And how is Sally going to get out of THIS? I DON’T KNOW!!
Next week is the fall finale and our beloved Scandal will go away until February. It was also announced today that in order to accommodate Kerry Washington’s pregnancy, season three will be cut short by 4 episodes. Which only means one thing: we’re not going to have the chance to breathe the rest of the season. I CAN’T WAIT.