“Gladiators or Bitches?” – Scandal Gif-cap

Posted by Kim

With the departure of Smash (RIP), we were looking for another show to bring the (patent pending) Head Over Feels gif-cap to.  Really, there was only one choice: Scandal.  I wrote about my obsession with the show when I discovered it last fall and Sage marathoned the first two seasons in a week at the end of the summer.  Scandal is batshit crazy in the best way possible.  I can’t even count the amount of times I have shouted “WHAT” at the television or flailed off the couch due to the smoking hot chemistry between Kerry Washington and Tony Goldwyn.  And it moves SO FAST that I can’t even imagine doing a full recap…thus, it lends itself perfectly to the gif-cap.

Season three picks up directly where we left off.  Olivia Pope, innocently going out for her morning run, looking smoking hot in her signature white jacket and black yoga pants, opens the door only to be accosted by reporters asking her if she is indeed the President’s mistress.  She is hurried into her car only to discover her DAD in the back seat…and boy is he PISSED.

To the gifs!!

“You’ve gotten yourself into trouble, Olivia.” Stating the obvious, Dad.

“You raised your skirt and opened your knees and gave it away to a man with too much power.”

“You have to be twice as good as them to get half of what they have.”

“You thought he would make you First Lady…” Don’t hold anything back, Dad!!

“Do you have to be so mediocre?” I wonder if Daddy Pope knows Ellis Grey…

“I am the Hell and the High Water.” Seriously though.  Olivia’s dad is TERRIFYING.

“He’ll think I had you killed.” Well, Cyrus.  You HAVE done this to Fitz before, so…

“I’M YOUR MONSTER!!!” Never change, Cy.  You’re delightful.

“I am many things.  Stupid is not one of them.”  That right.  You fight back, Olivia!!

“TAKE ME TO MY OFFICE!!”

“He will destroy you.” “That’s what mom used to tell me about you.”  For reals…what went on in the Pope family??

Sally: “I am the LORD’s witness!!” 

Cyrus: “The people elected you to be the president’s SIDEKICK. I know this is going to come as a shock, the LORD did not elect you.”

Sally on Cyrus:  “Your Godless homosexual lifestyle and that poor, sweet brown baby that you have dragged into it.” Appalling and hilarious at the same time.  And as someone delightfully pointed out on Twitter: “Meredith Grey’s parents will NEVER get along.”

Fitz is playing Sally like a fiddle with his confession, right?  What’s his game with her?

Olivia trying to shield herself from the paparazzi

Huck and Harrison rushing Olivia into the office.

And then suddenly Scandal becomes Jerry Maguire…

Harrison taking charge.  He is a bad ass the entire episode and it’s incredibly hot. MORE OF THIS PLEASE. 

Cyrus kissing James and growling “Sweetheart!!”.  Ugh.  I’m so glad Cyrus didn’t have him killed.

Confession: David and Abby are the ultimate OTP of this show according to HOF.  Don’t get us wrong.  We lurrrrve Olivia and Fitz.  But their relationship borders on toxic obsession.  Sure it’s hot and gives us ALL SORTS of feelings…but it’s toxic.

David and Abby however…they geniunely fell in love and were wrenched apart by outside forces they had no control over.  You can’t get more Head Over Feels-y unless David Tennant and Billie Piper played them.

“Start a kill folder on Olivia Pope.” Cyrus, you’re such a snake and I love you.

Harrison threatening Cyrus is everything I never knew I always wanted. 

Playing the ambitious slut card.  C’mon Cyrus.  You’re better than that.

“No one refuses an order in my business. ”  Seriously. Daddy Pope makes me want to crap my pants.

Joe Morton rivals Jeff Perry in the way he relishes delivering the “Shondalogue”.  I’d love to see him do some Sorkin.

“I am NEVER out of options.” Hot DAMN, I love when Olivia is stressed and sassy.

Olivia meeting Fitz in some sort of secret sex bunker.  (The exact moment I wrote this in my notes, one of my favorite TV Writers Ryan McGee tweeted the exact same thing.  He owes me a coke.)

Mellie is invited into the secret sex bunker.  

“You DID cheat on me.” “That’s not the point.” (Well, actually it kind of is, Fitz.)

“We have a job to do here, and in order to do my part effectively, I’m going to need you to refrain from referring to me as a whore. At least to my face.” And come on Mellie.  Fitz didn’t PAY Olivia for sex.  Get your terminology right.

Olivia’s face as she talks through how to stage Mellie and Fitz’s press conference.  Kerry Washington should have won that Emmy, y’all. #NODISRESPECTTOCLAIREDANES #ALLDISRESPECTTOEMMYVOTERS

“That is me being in love with another woman.” There are times I DO feel a little bad for Mellie because Fitz is so cavalier about how NOT in love with her he is.

That being said the way Mellie’s voice drops about 5 octaves when she is threatening them is terrifying. 

“I’m fine.” “I’m NOT.” 

Fitz hugs Olivia and I think I just got pregnant. 

I am confused as to why Fitz is telling Sally to speak out against him and be the moral center of the party. WHAT IS HIS GAME, SHONDA?

“Couldn’t we just kill another intern? It can’t be that hard.” QUINN IS INSANE THOUGH.

“ARE WE GLADIATORS OR ARE WE BITCHES?” Fact: this is quite possibly the greatest line of dialogue Shonda Rhimes has ever written.   And I need this on a t-shirt YESTERDAY.

Jeannine’s rant about Fitz’s hotness.

Also framing Jeannine = AMAZING.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” Um, they saved your ass, Olivia.  Just like you taught them to.

FITZ was the one who leaked Olivia’s name to the press. 

“Being First Lady is profoundly boring.” Funny you didn’t complain about that when you were rigging the Presidential Election, Mellie.

“Get me to play the Good Wife.” Oh honestly, Mellie.  Do you think you could be better than Juliana Margulies?

“THIS IS WAR MELLIE. YOU AND I ARE AT WAR.” Yesssssssssssss.  Bring it.

“Nothing wrong with a little self-preservation. Doesn’t mean you don’t wear the white hat.” Seriously, Shonda.  This is how you need to write Harrison all season.

Cyrus walks into his bedroom to find Charlie on his bed next to a sleeping James.  Guys, I know this is season three, but I am STILL not used to seeing Brian McKenzie from Father of the Bride as a ruthless hitman.

BUT WHAT HAPPENED ON THAT MISSION WITH FITZ AND JAKE.  Cause you it is bad when Cyrus gets that look on his face.

That’s a wrap for this week!  Sage takes the reins next week as we see Olivia Pope DEFENDING Jeannine against the affair allegations…

WHAT????