Season 3, Episode 4: “Say Hello to My Little Friend”
Posted by Sage
Season 3 is heating up, Gladiators! This episode saw Jake and Olivia rekindling their romance (which is Head Over Feels approved, by the way); some hints of Fitz’s involvement in the mysterious Operation Remington; Lisa Kudrow’s debut as Dem Congresswoman Josephine Marcus; a victory dance by our favorite consistently snubbed character, Harrison; and a lot of grainy cell phone photos of people’s genitals. Haven’t these people heard of SnapChat? On to the gifs!
“Olivia, your father would slit your throat and drink your blood if it would serve the republic.”
“I’ve never heard of B6-13! I’ve never heard of you!” As far as I’m concerned, any fight between Jake and Liv is angry foreplay.
HARRISON’S DANCE. BEGGING Shonda for more Harrison, always.
“You wanna come up?” “No…okay.” Don’t try to fight the pure, raw sexuality of David Rosen, Abby. You will not win.
“Whisky feels like home.” Huck is confessing his fall “off the wagon” at AA, which means more people are DEFINITELY going die.
“Open your mouth, Cy, and give it to me.”
WE MISSED YOU, EMMY WINNER DAN BUCATINSKY.
James points out the Republican Party’s very real “wang problem.” Hee.
An innocent dental hygienist has been murdered, possibly at the hands of a senator who claims he was sending dick pics to a harem of 20-year-olds because he’s “stressed.”
But he’s got a supportive wife. JAN LEVINSON GOULD, I PRESUME.
“Lick em, grab em, squeeze em, until they hit you in the face. I don’t even know what that means.” Pass.
LISA KUDROW HAS ARRIVED.
But we only see her on TV screens in this episode. Such a tease.
“Half of America can’t even spell G8.” Did I say I hated Mellie? Because I meant that I worship her.
“Are we really going to slut shame a dead girl?”
They do it anyway though.
“OBJECTION.” Poor David. Pope & Associates are almost always fucking with him and he almost never knows their game.
Mellie’s mic is still on! Oops. The American people are about to find out how much contempt their First Lady has for them. It’s delightful.
“You killed someone and it felt good? Like a high?” Baby Huck has a terrifying gleam in those eyes. I’d think twice before cutting her in line at Starbucks.
“We’re both wearing leashes, Huck.” Jake wants revenge, and he wants it now.
“It’s small. The mole, I mean.” These are the actions of a fairly un-endowed man, I’d say.
The President is going to give this poor Navy officer a proper burial. That’s sweet, but Toby Ziegler did it first.
“Pete Foster was an American hero and he deserves to be buried as such.” WOW, SO NOBLE, FITZ. Still the worst person in the world.
“Not everything I do is a scheme. You might not believe it but it’s true.” I don’t believe it and I’m glad it’s not true. The day Cyrus stops scheming is the day the apocalypse begins.
Jake is getting too deep into this Remington business. So he’s prooooobably gonna die.
“This is a woman who used to command a lot of respect in this town.” Excuse you, news lady.
“Take your files and your conspiracies and leave my office now.”
“Don’t knock a fried Twinkie till you’ve tried one.” I’m hungry.
Cyrus’s put-upon assistant Ethan is my new favorite character.
“Miffed? Nah, I’m done.” David Rosen will take no more of your shit, Abby. Except, yes, he probably will.
Shelly is staying at a hotel under the name Elizabeth Cady Stanton, which she conveniently dropped in a completely irrelevant conversation earlier in the episode.
“For what? So he can shove a camera down his pants.”
“He’s a pervert and a creep and I hate him.” She’s too big of a guest star to NOT be the real murderer, but I don’t care. I still love her a little bit.
The pilot of Operation Remington was the PRESIDENT, not Foster. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN.
“I thought they were okay – we are Republicans.” PULLING THEM OFF, ETHAN. Pulling. Them. Off.
“You weren’t his alibi, he was yours.” Sociopath or emotionally-abused wife, Jan Levinson is cold and terrifying.
“Boy, I love a slutty teen.” Cyrus is overjoyed to find out about Phoebe’s abandoned baby.
“You’re not worried about me. You’re INTERESTED.” It’s only a matter of time before Quinn takes someone down.
“Is that a picture of your?” “Yes.” AW YEAH, DAVID AND ABBY ARE BACK ON.
“Put your head right here.” “I’m not going anywhere.” All this intrigue and death – so romantic.
“You have company.” NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE, FITZ. LET CAPTAIN JAKE SEAL THE DEAL.
DADDY POPE AND FITZ ARE GOING HEAD TO HEAD. This. Is. Happening.
Based on everything we’ve know about these characters so far, my money’s on Daddy Pope. He’s tortured and murdered 20-year-old buff military guys, and we’ve only seen Fitz take down an elderly cancer patient. STILL, being that he’s the leader of the free world (the worst one ever, but anyway), I’m expecting a serious showdown. Predictions, fellow Scandal-ites? Leave them in the comments.