Scandal 3 x 16
“The Fluffer”
While the pacing wasn’t QUITE as furious as the past few episodes of Scandal, “The Fluffer” DID get the action ready for the final arc of Season Three, proving the episode title was not JUST a commentary on the Olitz relationship. Evil Puppet Master Shonda Rhimes moves all her pieces into place in this episode setting up what is sure to be an explosive finale, in more ways than one. But enough talk…let’s get to the gifs!
ABBY in the White Coat. Looking fabulous I might add.
Nobody talking in the meeting.
Fitz walking out cause Olivia is not there. Proving he is the biggest baby in the country.
“Promise me you won’t hurt him.” Even after everything Fitz has done to her, Olivia still defends him. Sigh.
“I promise I wont touch a hair on his head.” Note the phrasing. He can hurt OTHER parts, he just won’t touch anything on his head.
“I would have gone with anonymous former government employee.” I’m so glad David and his quips live to see another episode.
“I’m not going to do it.” So everyone is going to a petulant baby in the episode. Alrighty then.
“You deserve something REAL.” Stawwwwwwwwwwp with your perfection, Andrew.
“Someone whose not just playing the part of the man who loves you but SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY DOES.”
The title of Jeanine’s book is Taken for Granted. Bless you, book publishers.
“The President of the United States is definitely a baguette.” (So THAT’S why he gets all the ladies?)
“THIS is our legacy?” Like I said, even in the midst of his grief, Cyrus’ one-liners are everything.
Mellie’s reaction to the Jeanine story is everything.
“Olivia and I need the room.” Subtext: So we can have another angst filled argument where I demean her. BECAUSE I LOVE HER. #theworst
“You sent Gabby to me in your place.” Her name is ABBY, you cretin. She’s worked with Olivia for years and you can’t even be bothered to learn her name, you jerk.
Fitz wanting to kick Andrew off the ticket because he is SOOOOOO jealous over Mellie. Because there is only one person whose allowed to have orgasms in the White House and it’s him.
“What service can I render for you today? Am I here to stroke your ego?”
“Maybe I’m here to make you feel hot and manly and ready so you’re not jealous of your wife’s boyfriend?”
“Am I your fluffer today, Fitz? What service am I billing you for today?” Guys, if only Olivia would just stand by her glorious takedowns of Fitz…everything would be okay.
“You’re being disgusting and petty and jealous.”
“WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO BE?”
“The movie just STOPS. It’s just me waiting for a house in Vermont that I can’t live in and a man that makes me promises he can’t keep.” See…it’s like she’s taking it all back and being pathetic again.
“I am NOT the bad guy.”
“I didn’t HAPPEN to you.” Keep telling yourself that, Fitz. Because you most DEFINITELY happened to her.
Jake shows up drunk at Olivia’s door…
“I miss you.”
“We can’t be together because you kill my friends.” She DOES have a point. I guess.
“I wish you had just stood in the sun with me.” I’m sorry but every time Jake talks about standing in the sun, I think about Edward Cullen sparkling and I hate myself SO MUCH.
Liv and Jake on either side of the door. I’m sorry guys, but I have to do this…the show is MAKING ME.
“I asked you to save me and you said no.”
Cyrus leaks the Sally Abortion story. Because this is how campaigns are run when all the candidates are liars and murderers.
“You can’t send some amateur in here because your boyfriend was mean to you.” WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ABBY?
“What do you need?” “I need Andrew gone.” “No, that’s what you WANT, what do you NEED?”
“I need Andrew to stop screwing my wife.” BECAUSE AGAIN HE CAN HAVE AS MANY ORGASMS AS HE WANTS BUT GOD FORBID MELLIE HAVE ONE WITHOUT HIM GIVING IT TO HER.
“Consider it handled.” So off Liv goes to get her boyfriend’s wife back. Sigh.
“Do you want to be Vice President of the United States for the next 4 years or do you want to screw Mellie Grant for the next month?”
“I’m in love with her. I love her.”
“Choose Mellie. I wish you would. It would restore my faith in humanity.”
“Are you a faithful person Quinn? To B613? to Me?”
“I don’t date people. Except you. You’re special.” THIS WHOLE THING IS NOT GOING TO END WELL, QUINN.
Olivia somehow breaks into Jake’s apartment…
Is this why you’re here? Well, he IS already shirtless so…yes.
HOT HOT JAKE AND OLIVIA SEX. Sure, she only did it to get the B-613 info from his phone, but go one and get yours, gurl.
Fitz tossing the ties Mellie laid out for him on the floor.
Mellie neatly putting them back.
MAMA POPE SHOWING UP TO DINNER.
“I wonder which one of us is faster.”
(HAN SHOT FIRST, Y’ALL)
“You’re a monster.” Honestly we should have just called her Deadshirt!Clairefrom the top of this episode. And yes, Mama Pope IS a monster, but we knew that.
“I am a patient man , but a vengeful one and I have a very long memory.”
Andrew pensively watching Mellie onscreen.
Andrew shuts Mellie down…and with one word, Mellie knows WHY.
SO MELLIE STORMS INTO THE OVAL OFFICE AND SLAPS FITZ ACROSS THE FACE.
“YOU TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME!”
“You just keep on being President.”
“You don’t get to run. You’re a gladiator. Gladiators don’t run. They fight.”
“How was that?” Abby’s little smile is so cute and I just want to hug and be best friends with her.
Mama Pope has a bomb. “That is the Mona Lisa of BOOM.” And Jake STILL chooses to do nothing.
“Should I shut down B-613 right now?” “Shut it down.”
AND IT SHUTS DOWN.
“What the HELL have you done?”
“Let me be the one who breaks it to you: you just killed the President.”
TWO EPISODES TO GO, GLADIATORS!! HOW is Olivia going to get her beloved Fitz out of this one? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Am I the only one who responded to Jake’s “You just killed the President” with “Yeah right. If only…”