Scandal Season 5, Episode 9
“Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
Posted by Kim
This is it, Gladiators. Our Winter Finale. Normally, Scandal likes to close out its half-seasons with a massive cliffhanger. Not so with “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”. This put a DELIGHTFUL period on things. Sure, it probably won’t last long, but let me revel in this for a while. Because it’s glorious. TO THE GIFS.
Olivia doing First Lady Christmasy things looking like she’s dying on the inside.
Olivia stares miserably at her wardrobe, which suddenly has a whole lot of red, as she gets ready to go to another mindless function.
Her party dress is aces though.
“I got punch!” Susan and David still banter and she still has a crush on him and she’s still gonna get her heart crushed, isn’t she?
“I had no idea how many holiday parties were involved.” But IS there a Yankee Swap?
Olivia is asked to solve a problem at a party. She gets excited then her face falls because the PROBLEM is getting a cookie recipe.
MELLIE I MISSED YOU.
Mellie reads the fine print of a bill and realizes that funding for Planned Parenthood was made “discretionary” which means they could take it away at any moment. In other words, no fucking way.
“If there’s no guarantee, then I can’t vote for it.” #MellieForPresident2016
“This deal will pass just fine without you, Mellie.”
“I know the schedule. You don’t need to tell me, I have a brain.” Liv enjoyed this much more when she was President instead of First Lady.
Marcus brings in Christmas Decorations because OPA needs some holiday flair.
“We don’t decorate. We work.” Okay, Grinch Quinn. Be that way.
“Sorry I didn’t get to wrap it but it was hard to do with your hands down my pants.”
“David, there’s no need for presents.” LizzieBear is only interested in the D.
“I have the floor.” Mellie, my queen, decides she’s going to speak up for Women’s Rights.
“How about we don’t give that little ladies organization the full amount they’re asking for?” This is everything.
“As much as I would love to get home for the holidays, I refuse to do it at the expense of women’s health.”
MELLIE IS FILIBUSTERING.
Mellie pulls out a giant binder and starts naming off all the programs that are deemed more essential than funding to Planned Parenthood.
“You got the underground railroad without freedom fries? Who does that?” Rowan finds Huck’s lunch order offensive. So would I. French Fries are my reason for living.
“I may be the bad guy but the worse guys are out there.” I mean clearly he means Satan, cause you can’t get much worse than Rowan Pope.
“You are no one’s father and I am not your son!” Huck has no time for this “son” nonsense.
Mellie has to talk for 16 hours to run out the clock on the Senate Session. No breaks. Nothing.
“The rules state you can’t bring food onto the floor. They say NOTHING about food that is already here.” That’s my Mellie, finding a loop-hole. Also, God bless protein bars.
Liv watches Mellie go, with a little smile on her face.
Jake spies on Russell (remember him?), who is talking to some other spy dude about how Rowan is missing.
“I have so many sons.” So do I, Rowan, but mine are better than yours.
“There is no gratitude in parenting. I don’t know why we do it.” Me either, which is why I don’t.
“YES THERE YOU ARE! THE SON I KNOW!” Dude, Huck is the last person I would taunt about his family tragedy. He will end you. Which is exactly what Rowan wants.
“I’m just curious if you saw the things they were saying about Liv?” TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME. Bless.
“Do you think that she loves him or that she hates you so much that she stays with him just to spite you?” I CHOOSE OPTION B.
“By staying away I’ve been a good father.”
“Knowing that you want to die…that’s almost better than killing you.”
Fitz has a temper tantrum about Mellie because he can’t stand it when she gets more attention than him.
“I heard every word you said. Maybe what Mellie’s doing isn’t about you at all.” NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU FITZ.
Liv has to pick out china patterns. Abby: “You’re good at this”
All of the news programs are spotlighting Mellie and discussing the state of her bladder in a very graphic way.
The lady from the Impeachment committee whose name I can’t bother to remember because I just call her “Dat Bitch” gets a note from Olivia asking her to meet her outside.
Dat Bitch refuses to help Mellie out, calling her filibuster a mockery. Liv is having none of it. “Wow. Liberal female democrat thinks defending planned parenthood is a MOCKERY?” ACCURATE. DIS BITCH.
Susan brings David a big bottle of booze for Christmas. “I thought you could put it in your nog.” I think there’s some entendre there.
Since LizzieBear was all “I only want you for the sex”, David gives Susan her bracelet. Susan LOVES it.
Mellie is fading fast. She’s sweating and she is doing the pee-pee dance.
“Why doesn’t she STOP?” Because unlike you, Fitz, Mellie has CONVICTIONS.
Susan shows up to save Mellie. Reminder that Susan is better than everyone.
“I don’t want to be the kind of person who marches in here and throws her weight around. I hate people like that. But I am Vice President which makes me President of the Senate which means you’re in my chair.” *SEAL CLAPS*
“Will you yield the floor to me so that I may ask a lengthy question?” I’m so proud right now.
“I think I might be done.” Olivia is waiting for an exhausted Mellie in the Ladies, ready to give her a pep talk.
“I just didn’t like people telling me what I can’t do.” Yes, I am going for the obvious gif choice here.
“You’re the biggest bitch I know. Don’t tell me you can’t do this.” Can’t these two PLEASE be best friends.
“Just a couple more hours, Mellie.” CAN’T THEY MOVE PAST THIS WHOLE FITZ THING? They could be so good together.
Bolstered by Olivia, Mellie makes it to the end. She closes out her filibuster with an acceptance speech. My Queen.
“I’m sorry I had to resort to theatrics to protect what should be basic human rights.”
“Mr. President, I yield the floor.” EVERYBODY WINS TODAY.
Bitch who wouldn’t help Mellie comes over to shake her hand. Mellie denies it. AS SHE SHOULD.
“This has been the defining moment of Mellie Grant’s political career.” Damn right it has.
Jake confronting Russell. Russell tries to get Jake to come to the Dark Side. “Lazarus One, we need you. We’re taking control of things.”
“THIS IS OUR TIME!”
“I’m going home.” “Sad. Predictable.” Rowan just wants someone to get on his level.
Annnnnnd Jake shoots Russell in the head, proving where his loyalties lie once and for all.
OLIVIA HAVING AN ABORTION. Wow. Clearly this is why we had an “adult content” warning at the top of the episode.
“Where were you tonight?” Hooooooooow does one say “Well, I couldn’t bear the thought of being trapped further in this relationship, so I got rid of our child?”
Olivia tears through the wardrobe looking for Mellie’s parting gift jar of Hooch. I feel like she understands Mellie SO MUCH now.
“I tried. I really tried.” IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?
“DO NOT LIE TO ME.” Well at least Fitz’s bullshit meter is fully functional.
“You are running. That’s what I want you to say.”
“You just weren’t here.” “Because I didn’t want to go.” Also please to notice how Liv isn’t revealing where she WAS. When is she going to tell him, if ever?
“Guess what? I’m a big dog.” Liv makes it known that she will NOT be Fitz’s Trophy Wife trotted about to parties and magazine shoots. She deserves more than that because she is more than that.
“You mean when you moved me in here and treated me like I was some sort of hostage?” I mean let’s call a spade a spade because this is exactly what happened.
“Let’s not pretend you did that for me, Olivia. You did that so you wouldn’t have to marry me.”
“Do I owe you now, Fitz? Do I get to show how worthy I am of your sacrifices now, Fitz? Do I get to talk to wives at cocktail parties for you? Trade recipes for you? Plan dinners for you? Live in this cage for you, and not breathe for you?!” OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
“You tell me…who wouldn’t run?”
“You asked me? When did you ask me? That wasn’t a proposal, that was a manipulation.”
“You think I don’t know what you’ve been doing this entire time?” So Fitz knows that Olivia has been President but he’s allowed it so I really don’t know what he’s going for here as far as being all indignant.
“Are you bitter? Is that it? After realizing how ineffectual you actually are?” Oh. My. GOD. Olivia just called him out for being the worst Leader ever and I am so alive.
“You are worse than Mellie.” Honestly, I think Olivia takes that as a compliment.
“There is no US. There is no THIS.” SET ME ON FIRE THIS IS HAPPENING.
“There is no future. Not anymore.” WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
“You just need time to get used to the way things work around here!” Um, how about no?
“We never had a chance.”
“We could have had something. Been something.”
Liv passes the hooch to Fitz. “I hate that you’re always right.” “Me too.”
“We tried.” “We did.” It’s a Christmas Miracle!
Abby sees Liv leaving The White House and (in my head) resists the urge to cheer for her.
LizzieBear sees Susan wearing David’s bracelet and gets a little jealous. Mayhaps she wants more than the D after all?
“You were right. Lazarus wasn’t you.” Jake goes home to Rowan. I don’t know how I feel about this.
“Welcome home, son.”
Quinn drinks alone in her apartment. Charlie shows up with Christmas decorations. Suddenly, she’s not so Grinchy anymore.
Liv FINALLY gets a new couch. She drinks alone in her apartment, free at last.
And that’s our winter finale! We’ll be back in February. Until then, leave your thoughts on the Olitz break-up in the comments.