Some seasons of this show are total duds. Everyone votes with the house, everyone makes safe moves, and you’re left wondering why the hell we’re televising this damn thing three times a week if nothing good ever happens. But this season? This season is shaping up to be an entry in the instruction manual on how to play Big Brother. For all the people in the house who aren’t even playing the game yet, the number of houseguests who are making moves seems to balance it all out. Every week so far, there’s been a shakeup in the eviction vote. Big moves are being made so early on. And Scottie is currently a goddamn beast in this game; this week was his and his alone, and he made the absolute most of it. Not to mention, nabbing a free vacation on top of all this sweet, sweet, power is nothing to sneeze at.
Let’s relive the reign of Ian Terry 2.0, shall we?
Hayleigh immediately figures out that Scottie flipped his vote and tells Rockstar. I mean, it’s not like anyone can do anything about it right now, but try to remember your outrage for future HOH reigns.
“He wore a Swaggy t-shirt. He wouldn’t flip.” You know…unless he wanted to slip under the radar and was actually good at this game?
“He’s probably not even a virgin.” Rockstar getting straight to the heart of Scottie’s evil geniusness…
Faysal is losing his damn mind over the numbers not adding up during these evictions. It’s like the concept of people playing for their own best interests completely eludes him.
Winston thinks that being stupid bros with Brett out in the open will keep them under the radar. Even though known pairs automatically get targeted because YOU’RE IN A PAIR. THAT’S AUTOMATICALLY TWO VOTES FOR ANYTHING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Winston tries to cover his ass and tells Sam he and Brett voted to keep her here, after he told Scottie they voted to keep Steve. The only problem is, Sam already went to Scottie and totally blew Winston’s cover. Hi, maybe tell people these things BEFORE they go into a one-on-one with the HOH.
Brett goes up to the HOH room and pleads his case, and his case makes absolutely no sense to me. It just sounds like a bunch of random words. But Scottie’s a little convinced? Guys, maybe we pulled the trigger too early on the whole evil genius thing.
It’s the last time the BB App Store is open. Yay, I can stop pretending like this is an interesting segment. I mean, I’m sure the power apps will turn things up once they’re actually used, but right now, it’s basically just a bunch of people being forced to smudge their handprints all over a big screen and fuck with their self-esteem.
Haleigh is the least trending houseguest. She picks Read It, which makes her read from Hamlet in a Shakespeare costume from time to time until she’s read the entire play. She’s also never read Hamlet, and I just…how have you gone through grade school and never read this?
Bayleigh is the top trending houseguest. She picks Identity Theft, which means during the first half of the game, she can steal HOH for a hot second and name the initial nominees. Look, I don’t really know what her gameplay is outside of her connection with Swaggy, so I’m not really sure how to feel about this.
Scottie nominates Brett and Winston for eviction. Okay, so maybe the supposed BB Mist Brett has isn’t completely irresistible.
Brett’s trying to be menacing in his DR session about the possibility of staying in the house, but you kind of have to do something more than grow a mediocre mustache to make that stick.
Kaitlyn tells Winston to separate from Brett for a minute and campaign. Winston decides not to do that. Because why do something completely logical when half a million dollars is at stake?
Instead of trying to campaign to Scottie, Winston yells at him that he’s the next to go. I already hated him from the start because he kissed his damn gun in the intro, and why is that the thing you lead with? But for the love of god, can you at least play this game a little bit the right way? Why are you threatening the guy that has the most pull over whether or not you stay in this game?
THE VETO COMP IS MAMMA MIA THEMED. Look, I have been so excited for this movie ever since Cher announced that she joined the cast, and my mind has been so one-track this entire week because it’s the first movie she’s done in eight years. I literally don’t care what the actual comp is. Just show me the Cher. I also do not apologize for the onslaught of Cher gifs that’s about to happen. It’s their own fault for promoting the movie.
“Cher looks incredible.” I knew I liked you for a reason, Rockstar.
Oh my god, it’s a spinning comp. These are legitimately the best, because everyone is such a mess, and I’m generally a fan of people falling down when they’re under a time crunch.
A+ to whoever made the players wear bell bottoms. Screw the veto, I just want to watch them twirl forever.
Scottie is going SO HARD on this disco ball. Jesus, man, Greece will still be there, even if you spin around with a normal level of aggression.
Rockstar is two seconds away from throwing up all over the place. Girl, keep it in, please.
Scottie wins the POV and the trip to Greece. This dude is making out like a bandit this week. And so ends the Cher portion of this gif-cap.
“I come home dizzy from bars all the time.” Least surprising thing ever said on this show, Brett.
Haleigh reading Hamlet in every room of the house is amusing for about ten seconds. I love how everyone just started quietly slipping out when they realized how long this could go on for.
“It’s kind of based on The Lion King, if you think about it.” So close, JC. So close…
Kaitlyn dreamed that Brett and Winston went to Scottie and told him to put her up, Scottie confirms and tells her everything. He tells her about their attempt to convince him to backdoor her and secure a final three deal, and honestly, I’m kind of impressed that she picked up on it.
“I am like 90% love and light and 10% go fuck yourself.” Okay, but can I steal that as my personal slogan?
(I decided I wasn’t done with the Cher gifs yet, sue me.)
Kaitlyn goes off on Brett and Winston for their talk with Scottie. I love how people think friendship means you’ll never get backstabbed in this game. Who knew the promise of $500,000 would make you climb over everyone to make it to the end?
Brett decides to use his veto speech to insult Kaitlyn and recite a dumbass poem. Exactly how does this dude have the BB Mist again?
Scottie doesn’t use the veto. Can we just stop and take a moment to appreciate the week this guy has had? All of the power, the ability to follow through on his game plan without a hitch, taking out a “power” (I use the term loosely) duo, AND he gets a free vacation? He’s shaping up to be the one to beat right now.
Rachel thinks it’s best to keep Brett because he’s a fierce competitor. Rockstar thinks Brett needs to go because he’s a fierce competitor. Are…are they just editing out all of his gameplay? What am I missing? Where is this awesome strategy?
Rockstar can’t get down from the rock climbing wall. On the upside, she should be golden for endurance comps?
Brett singles out Kaitlyn in his final plea for votes to apologize, then he throws Rockstar under the bus for something she wasn’t even planning on doing in order to get her vote. And Rockstar’s face was my face during this whole thing. Someone please teach this guy how to make game speeches.
(See, I told you I was going to have to use that one more than once.)
“We were the bros you loved to hate.” No, love is nowhere near any of this. Reconsider your words.
Winston is evicted from the house. He’s out like a shot, refusing to say goodbye to anyone, and throwing a friendship bracelet Sam made for him on the ground. Guys, it’s a fucking game. You can be mad that it doesn’t go your way, but come on. Don’t be a dick.
Rockstar GOES OFF on Brett for what he said in his speech, calling him disgusting for pulling this on her daughter’s birthday. So whatever it was he was trying to accomplish, I guess it worked? And I really need to see the aftermath on this.
“A lot of people think we’re really stupid with this game.” I’m just saying, I call ‘em like I see ‘em.
And the new HOH is…not crowned, because we have our first endurance comp on our hands. Patience and spoiler blogs, people. Patience and spoiler blogs.
What did you think of Scottie’s HOH reign? How will the house fare with one less bro in the mix? And most importantly, has anyone else seen the new Mamma Mia yet, and if so, can we please discuss how sparkly and wonderful Cher was in it? Let’s chat in the comments.