Would you believe me if I told you that this is my fifth year covering the Golden Globes for Head Over Feels? I know, me neither! As I hope I’ve made clear, I’m no expert – I’m just a person with Wi-Fi and opinions. (A lot of opinions.) So these red carpet posts are always subjective. This time around, it feels even more so to me. It was kind of a weird night, fashion-wise. A slew of my faves showed up in ensembles I just don’t care enough about to include (let’s meet again at the SAGs, Lupita), I might have had more contenders for the worst list than the best list when I sat down to write, and there are some looks I still don’t know if I like or not. And can someone please explain to me exactly what Hollywood has against a bold lip? Join me as I process feelings (a lot of feelings) below!
Listen, it was Sandra Oh’s night from start to finish. And she started with a bang in this sleek white Versace accessorized to perfection, from the hair and makeup (best lip of the night!) to the jewelry. My notes at this point devolved into “BRRRRRRRACELETS.”
And then this red (also Versace) blew me away.
I’m not the best person to put Sandra hosting into context, so please bask in her own words:
And this Stella McCartney for her third and final (and winning!) look! It is divine, I am in love with it. See? Start to finish.
Regina King in Alberta Ferretti
Gorgeous. I know I love both pink and sparkles, but you can’t deny how well executed this look is. There’s a very small part of me that wishes she had added just one more accessory, but I get why she chose to let the dress do most of the work.
And if you didn’t see her acceptance speech last night, you missed out:
They had started to play her off and then they stopped so she could continue. I got chills.
Olivia Colman in Stella McCartney
I love it! This is like warrior glam, kind of?
Seriously, this is chic as hell, isn’t it? And very regal. I feel like it’s been awhile since I’ve seen such a good twist on basic black.
I love her. Also, in case you missed it, the first person she thanked was Melissa McCarthy for bringing sandwiches.
Jameela Jamil in Monique Lhuillier
This look is reminiscent of Tahani, but it really feels like Jameela, doesn’t it? I love that she was the only one in this hue on the red carpet and, yes, I’m sure the Fug Girls will rightly declare she needs a bracelet, but this look as a whole, I can’t get over.
And I’m sorry but no one at E! is funny enough to have done this on purpose.
Charlize Theron in Dior
Fuck me, I love this.
Chadwick Boseman in Versace
Did anyone else think Chadwick Boseman skipped the Globes only to leap out of their chair yelling when he appeared onstage with his Black Panther castmates?
I LOVE THIS, all of it, right down to the sparkly loafers.
Emily Blunt in McQueen
Bow down, Emily came to slay.
And look how well she accessorized!
Gemma Chan in Valentino
I love this elegance, this color, this bow so much that I don’t even mind the hidden short skirt.
Kristen Bell in Zuhair Murad
Oh my god, the glamor. This soft pink works so well on her; I feel like it could wash other people out but Kristen is aglow.
Keri Russell in Monique Lhuillier
Ooh, this silver! I love this on her. And it feels vaguely ’80s to me, like an homage to the time period of her show without going too costume-y, which I appreciate.
Lucy Liu in Galia Lahav
I love her, but I don’t get this at all.
Claire Foy in Miu Miu
This feels very joyless for a yellow dress with starburst sparkles on it, no? None of this is working for me, not the slip dress, not the hair, not the matte lip. Maybe the earrings. Maybe.
Alison Brie in Vera Wang
I’m always surprised when someone can prove that the limit for my love of sparkles does, in fact, exist. Shout-out to Alison’s strapless bra.
Rachel Brosnahan in Prada
This is altogether too plain, the matchy matchy earrings are a misstep, AND WHERE IS MY BOLD LIP.
Elisabeth Moss in Dior
We Need to Talk About: Lady Gaga in Valentino
Okay, first, let’s be honest: She showed up to collect her award. (And I do think most people expected her to win.) And I think I get it, this is like an edgy homage to the classic Hollywood starlet ideal. But like, the execution. What is this color story? The hair is… off-putting? It’s more Star Wars than ingenue to me. Of course she did the thousandth nude lip of the night. And the shawl sleeves? I hate them; I’d love to see this without that extra fabric. Like I said, I think I know what she was going for. But at the end of the day, do I want to see something this costume-y on the red carpet? Not really?
I’ll Drink to That: Glenn Close in Armani Prive
I’ll drink to both Glenn’s ensemble – mature but not matronly, with a little sparkle! – and her amazing speech:
Best Accessory: Michelle Yeoh
I love that she wore THE ring from Crazy Rich Asians! Which, as fans know, came from her personal collection.
Spring Fling Princess: Rachel Weisz in Celine
Have movie stars just not seen this iconic episode of television or do they do these homages intentionally?
Most Disappointing: Constance Wu in Vera Wang
Maybe it’s a matter of my expectations – they ran too high or too close to looks I’ve loved at other events. But my first thought when I saw this was “Oh no, she blew it.”
Why the fuck didn’t I see this on E!? Billy Porter in Randi Rahm
As longtime readers might know, I only include looks in red carpet posts that I saw on the red carpet or awards show stage; I can’t properly judge by photo alone. This can be frustrating when I’m dependent on E! to show me the range of attendees. Because, simply put, E! is the worst. Think about how much time they spent on advertising Ryan Seacrest’s line at Macy’s. Or the video message from Taylor Swift to Elisabeth Moss, which was kind of cute until you realized Taylor Swift was at the Golden Globes to present so she and Elisabeth maybe could have just chatted in person?? Why are we wasting time on this stuff and not showing attendees like Billy Porter shutting it down?
She’s Janelle Monae, She Can Wear What She Wants: Janelle Monae in Chanel
That’s it, that’s the superlative.
Personal Best: Chrissy Metz in Tanya Taylor
I don’t watch This Is Us, so I usually don’t track the cast too closely. But would it be bold of me to say this is a personal best for Chrissy? I love this red on her, and the detail on the sleeves is just right.
Sage Needs Help Reacting to Something: Chris Messina
Unproblematic Male: Idris Elba in Ozwald Boateng
Listen, I try not to praise men for meeting the low bar of human decency, but I just have to give a shout out to Idris for his response when asked in a recent interview how hard it was for him as an actor in Hollywood during the #MeToo era:
“It’s only difficult if you’re a man with something to hide.”
A Floral Pattern, An Icon Does Not Make: Darren Criss in Dior
My hopes were unusually high for the male attendees this year and, for the most part, I was pretty whelmed. So maybe I’m being too hard on Darren, who did give a great acceptance speech, but like come on. You have to put some work into this, you can’t just throw a floral jacket on and call it a day. This pattern just feels generic to me; I wish he’d really gone for it if he was going to do something other than basic black.
Bored! I’m So Bored! Amy Adams in Calvin Klein
Amy is the new Kate Winslet who was the new Renee Zellweger. I wish she would shake things up; even when she does inch out of her box, she just always looks vaguely the same?
Pants, You Guys, It’s Pa– Julia Roberts in Stella McCartney
–oh. I mean. Nevermind.
Favorite Princess Tulle Gown: Kiki Layne in Dior
This is truly gorgeous, I love the color, but there were so many gowns like this last night. Why?! I’m so sick of tulle! Or whatever fabric or effect that I’m calling tulle! There was too much of it!
Least Favorite Princess Tulle Gown: Patricia Clarkson in Georges Chakra
I love her, so I want to love this, but she just looks like a valentine. And not in a good way.
Wait, Do I Love This or Hate It? Anne Hathaway in Elie Saab
I still don’t know.
This Is a Lot of Look: Debra Messing in Pamella Roland
I would like to apologize to Sarah for what I’m about to say. Bookworm, I am so sorry. BUT. This is just a lot? I love a cape, I love sparkles, and just call me Lauren Conrad because I love feathers, but not all together. It’s just… a lot.
Oh, Lili Reinhart’s in This? Lili Reinhart in Khyeli
Listen, I watch a lot of Riverdale and Betty Cooper drives me crazy. So I wasn’t psyched to see Lili, even though I don’t actually know much about her. But this poofy sheer mess? No, thank you.
Honey, What’s This? What’s Happening? Timothee Chalamet in Louis Vuitton
I almost didn’t even write his name down in my list of expected attendees, thinking I might be whelmed, and then he shows up in a sparkly harness. Okay, fine! I will keep listing you in my notes! Message received!
I Can’t With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears: Kaley Cuoco in Monique Lhuillier
Well, look who returned to claim her title: The only person who could make me annoyed to hear her dress has pockets.
What do you think? Was it a weird night? Which looks would you have included? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!