Season 3, Episode 5: The Devil Wears Lands End
Posted by Sage
I went to state school, so I have a lot of experience both with beer pong and with crying to get out of stuff. I know the glory that comes making the impossible shot and I know the satisfaction of neutralizing a problem by playing on the average human’s distaste for confronting emotion. But I gave them both up a long time ago. (Mostly.) Not Peter and Mindy.
We’re finally getting somewhere with the Peter-Jeremy-Lauren love triangle, by putting the focus back on Peter and Jeremy’s friendship. The fact of Lauren can’t be changed – she exists and Jeremy is seeing her. Having Peter hold a grudge against Jeremy forever (no matter how warranted) does not a good TV show make. But men have always found camaraderie on the field of athletic competition. With his regular partner at his dad’s funeral (“My frat buddy Pubes is dead. Dead to me.”) the weekend of his reunion beer pong tournament at Dartmouth, Peter seeks out a replacement at the office. Against all odds, boarding school alumnus Jeremy proves to be the man for the job. (“As a child, it was my job to throw ice in Father’s drink.”)



Jeremy is well aware how much brotherhood means to Peter, but he doesn’t really get it until he’s immersed himself. Jeremy doesn’t talk about his boarding school buddies in the same way – there, it was every man for himself. But sweet, all-American Peter believes in the sanctity of the group as a whole. His fraternity brothers are higher than even family – unfortunately, no one clued Peter in to the fact that self-servers are everywhere. He takes Jeremy’s betrayal so personally not just because it was a first-class dick move, but because it’s a part of a pattern. (“Classic Lefty.”) His frat nickname refers to something far more embarrassing than his preferred masturbatory hand. Every girl he’s ever really tried to have something with has left him for one of his bros.


While Jeremy and Peter buried the hatchet, the rest of the practice dealt with the consequences of Mindy making a terrible impression on their new department chief. Dr. Jane Fishman (Niecy Nash, yay!) “is not here to make friends, [she’s] here to make babies,” and so she is not amused when Mindy makes everyone late to the meeting and then lets her phone ring an uncomfortable amount of time. (Check how Danny bops his head along to “Fancy,” though.) Fishman’s retaliation is to schedule all the Schulman deliveries at the most undesirable times. And there’s just no way Danny Castellano can be his best self at 11pm on a Sunday while performing a C-section with “a gutful of Mom’s lasagn.” Mindy’s simple fix is to befriend the new boss with a night on the town, which seems like a decent idea since Jane is new to the city. (“I’ve been spending every night at the Statue of Liberty because I assume that’s what people do.”) She’s charmed by the nude couples massage and Mindy’s enthusiastic collaboration with some subway dancers (“They really hated it.”) – a little more charmed than Mindy had intended. (“Boom shakalaka: we’re best friends.”)

Now Mindy’s in deep, the practice has its time slots back, and the very last thing she wants to do is tell Jane the truth. (“Danny, I hate facing consequences. That’s why I haven’t opened my mail in like two years.”) But at Danny’s urging, she goes to see Jane – in the sweatsuit he keeps trying to throw out – to explain the misunderstanding. Turns out that Mindy isn’t the only liar in the building; Jane’s wife overhears the confession and now Jane really loathes S&A. The only solution now?? Lying and crying.
The last five minutes of this episode wound me, because I know that Chris Messina isn’t going to get an Emmy nomination this year. And it’s a sin. After some story-heavy episodes, we had 22 minutes of punchline after punchline this week. But the whipped cream on this already fluffy confection was Danny’s fake breakdown. After hearing Mindy take responsibility for her actions and begging the practice be spared, Danny gets in it. He decides to play out the character Mindy created for him: a boyfriend ready to off himself over his girlfriend’s infidelity. (“I gave my virginity to this woman!”) His entire rant was a thing of beauty, capped off by throwing wine in Mindy’s face, Real Housewives style. (That’s commitment to a role, Danny. Very method.) Danny let out his inner drama queen and it rivals even his girlfriend’s. What can he do? He’s got the Mindy fever. And we all know there ain’t no cure for that.
Random Thoughts/B-Stories:
- I have one demand, and that is for Deborah to become a recurring character. Come back and get your biscuit, Deb Deb.
- “I love drinking and I hate nerds. Bop.”
- “Oh my god, that is me.” – Morgan, co-opting his queen’s choice of ringtone.
- “We did use to share a work toothbrush.” “We did?” “We all did.”
- “Operation Pyongbang.”
- “She doesn’t do all the things that straight girls do, but she is definitely straight.” “You are well taken care of.”
- When Jeremy asked Peter to burp him, that was the closest I’ve felt to him in a long, long time.
Alright, readers, it’s your turn. Are you ready for Peter and Jeremy to be friends again? How do you think Danny will carry that baby weight? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
I’m sorry I’m going to be that terrible girl, but THAT’S NOT HOW WE PLAY PONG AT DARTMOUTH. We play like it’s ping pong, but with handle-less paddles and FULL cups of beer. If someone hits your cup, you drink half; if they sink it, you chug the whole thing. It is glorious and fun and absurd, and it broke my heart a little that two Dartmouth grads just lied to the world about it. As my friend Jordan put it “I am conflicted because 1) It is awesome that 2 of the biggest faces of Dartmouth are badass WOC; but 2) They know better.” LOL. My consolation is twofold: that the episode was funny as hell and my theory that Mindy (and Shonda) are just trying to keep our weird version of pong secret.
I’M SORRY I JUST PUT YOU ALL THROUGH THAT IDIOTIC RANT BUT SOME THINGS ARE TOO IMPORTANT. Like college drinking games.
I have NEVER heard of that.
It is so much more fun than beirut! You do need basically a full size ping pong table though.