Scandal Season 4, Episode 17
“Put a Ring on It.”
Posted by Kim
It’s been so long since Cyrus has had the central story I TOTALLY forgot that he was in a sham relationship with a prostitute. Whoops. To the gifs!
Liv is dreaming about Fitz and about throwing the ring in his face and running in the hallway.
There’s some sort of late night emergency and you know what that means…GLADIATORS ASSEMBLE! Discuss in the comments who is who.
As he hustles to meet with the Gladiators, Cyrus breaks the family portrait of him and James with their (strangely absent this season) daughter.
Michael was very indiscreet at a bar and got caught in a “compromising” position.
Michael’s photos are all over the tabloids.
The only way to diffuse the crisis is for Cy and Michael to get married post-haste.
“It sounds like a shotgun wedding!” “It is and you’re the pregnant bride.”
“There is no bigger stage. There is no bigger moment.”
“I can’t bother the President with my hooker troubles.”
“A Gay Republican White House Wedding.” Please tell me that was printed on the invitations.
Liv convinces Mellie to host the wedding.
Quinn and Huck pay off the bartender to tell the reporters that it was just Michael’s bachelor party.
By hosting the wedding, Mellie can make a break away from her husband’s beliefs, which will gain her votes in her senate race. BECAUSE OF COURSE FITZ DOESN’T BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE.
“Love is love.” Mellie for President!
“You’re doing great out there.” Leo’s subtext is “I’m going to take you home after this and do naughty things to you.”
We flashback to Cyrus proposing to his girlfriend Janet but all I can focus on is his wig.
“I am Catholic. I have been saving myself. I can’t get divorced like those girls from Holyoke.”
“I hear we’re running a kooky wedding service out of the White House.”
Fitz finds out Liv is behind the wedding planning and does the only thing he can do…look constipated.
“The President’s views remain unchanged.” BECAUSE HE IS THE WORST.
“Do I have to be here for this? I have a country to run.” At least we’re admitting that Cyrus is in charge of the country now.
Cyrus tells Michael to stop whining about his parents having to come to the wedding. Put on your big boy underpants, dude, this is all your fault anyway.
On Cyrus’ wedding day we see him and his best man/racquetball buddy/lover. “Happily married men don’t play.”
Sally Langston has her own talking head show because of course she does.
Sally proclaims that everything about Cyrus and Michael’s relationship is a lie. She also publicly offers 10K for anyone who can substantiate her claim.
“There is a word for you, Sally.”
Cyrus starts to have a meltdown but Liv is having none of it. “Breathe. Right now.”
LizzieBear is mad at Mellie for working with Liv without telling her. Mellie is having NONE of it.
“We are not partners. We are not friends. You work for me.”
“You wish you were me. But you can’t be me.” God BLESS Mellie and her ego. May they live long and prosper.
“Thank you, Mrs. Grant.” LizzieBear can’t catch a break anywhere.
“She’s a grown woman who thinks angels are real.”
Leo told Sally about the War Room/Wedding planning room so she KNOWS something is up.
“What did you expect me to do? You’re the one who told me things you shouldn’t have told me.”
“You need to stay on your side of my house!” Apparently there is a metaphorical line going thru Cy’s place and Michael can’t cross it.
Flashback to the night Fitz is elected Governor. Janet is drunk in the closet and tells Cy she wants a divorce.
“Being with you is a lonely experience.” Ouch.
“How about I’ll admit I’m having an affair if you admit you are gay.” Ouuuuuuuuuuuuch.
The gladiators find Michael’s second phone. It turns out he has a boy toy. A boy toy who is booked on Sally’s show.
Abby confirms this since she’s listened to all of Leo’s voicemails.
“No one is calling everything off. No one is quitting until I’ve tried everything. Is that clear?”
And now we see Cyrus’ wedding day with James. I MISS JAMES.
“I don’t want to be Cyrus Beene’s husband ‘the journalist’.” And sadly, that’s what he became.
Aaaaaaaand more dreams about Fitz.
“On his wedding day, he’s a rose petal guy.” IS HE THOUGH?
“I can’t be there and see you every day.” SO THEY HAVE BEEN HAVING THE SAME CONVERSATION FOR YEARS THEN.
Fitz gives her the ring. “I was supposed to give it to my wife, but I didn’t. I was supposed to give it to you.” Vomit.
“If you could wear this…if I could know you were wearing this, then we could be okay.”
“You want me to call the ring sweet baby?”
“I just want you to be happy.”
“I could never hate you.” OH I COULD.
Liv frantically searches her apartment for the ring because she’s hidden it away somewhere.
“I need to ask you for something. For Cyrus.” Fitz sees that Liv isn’t wearing the ring and again makes the constipated face.
“You went around my back to Mellie.” “I did.” “Nice move.” UGH.
Liv tries to appeal to Sally. “You know what I do. So what do you want?”
“The longer you spend in the world of talking heads, the less the American public will take you seriously.”
“Right there, that is the real seat of power.”
They decide to throw Michael under the bus by telling the press he cheated on Cyrus. “We can play the victim card and we play it hard.”
Super awkward dinner with Michael’s parents who, as it turns out, are just as terrible as he said they would be. “You think you’re getting away with something…but we know what this is.”
It turns out Michael’s parents sent him to camps to try to de-gay him.
LizzieBear paid them to come out for the wedding. “A Lady at the White House is paying us more than your father ever made in a year.”
Later, Cyrus tries to comfort Michael, who is clearly in a lot of pain over what just transpired. Michael shoves him away, having none of it.
Flashing back to James and Cy packing for their honeymoon. “I do not travel without a tie. What if there’s a dignitary there?”
Everyone plots how to shape the Micheal cheating story. “Something that makes Cyrus sounds a little less like a bitch baby who lost his prom date.”
Liv notices that Cy has softened towards Michael’s plight (there IS a good person deep down in there!). “I think there’s been a change of plans.”
Liv threatens Sally by telling her that she will expose her OWN sham marriage.
It turns out that Sally’s husband was on Micheal’s client list back in the day.
Sally pulls the interview. However she claims “I am still watching their every move.” I highly doubt this is the last we’ve seen of her.
“Tell me Liv was bluffing. Was she bluffing?” Abby will never tell, obviously. All she does know is that Leo is getting lucky after this wedding.
Michael despairs over his fake wedding. “I still believed that someone was going to love me.” Boys dream about their weddings too, y’all.
“It is my wedding day and you hate me.”
“It is the day I’ve been dreaming of and I have nothing.”
“I would never murder you myself. That’s a rookie move.”
“We’re not going to fall in love and that is a relief to me.” You know what? I think this sham marriage just might work out because there is zero pretense between these two.
“You see me for what I am.” SEE THIS CAN WORK MAYBE.
“I’m not promising much but I will promise this: I may not do it well but I will do my best to be your someone so you’re not alone.”
Fitz and Liv staring at each other during the wedding.
And she’s wearing the goddamn ring. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?
That’s it for this week, Gladiators! Do you think Michael and Cyrus will end up happy? Should we start laying odds on when Fitz and Liv end up back in bed together? (EW EW EW). Let us know your thoughts in the comments!