Season 2, Episode 13: The Producers
– Posted by Sage
I want to dedicate this week’s #SmashBash to each and every beautiful soul who shares this weekly tradition with us. This would truly be no fun without you. A third season is looking more and more like a no-go, so we will treasure these last few bashes with you.
We’re going to put up a Facebook poll soon to ask you which show we should hate/love-watch and hate/love-recap next season. The Smash may be ending, but the Bash must go on.
On with this week’s!
Ivy, that yellow dress.
“Are you ready to Mambo with me?” Take it away, Kathie Lee!
“I think you and Julia should start working on your next project, after she’s finished with Gatsby.” Way to blow up Julia’s spot, Eileen.
“You don’t really wanna kill her.” Of course not.
Brooklyn Jimmy doesn’t show up for the photoshoot.
“Let him duke it out with those ten other producers.” Lol, as if that’s even a fair fight. Rudin’s like, “Come at me, bitches.”
“Oh, is he? Poor baby. Well, so am I.” Sometimes Derek gets a little to pal-sy with these idiots. I like him better when he’s giving them real talk.
If only Broadway performers actually got this much exposure. I’d get to see my favorites a lot more often, and they wouldn’t be forced into pilot season after excruciating pilot season.
“Marisa Tomei broke her leg.” “Which means?” “Moonstruck won’t be going to Broadway.” I had to rewind this three times to make sure I was hearing it correctly. Poor fictionalized Marisa Tomei! But Eileen and Mimi Marquez have no problem stepping over her broken body on the path to the Tony Awards.
“Well, now you can un-promise it, and start working on it with me.” I’m actually really emotionally attached to these two as partners.
THAT HIT LIST POSTER.
Decent casting of extras for the Hit List rush line. Hi, theater nerds!
“I don’t know, there was a lot of tequila involved.” You’re such a bad ass, Brooklyn Jimmy.
“The first time. What about those other two you told me about?” GET IT.
“No, for your understudy, genius.” Heh heh heh.
“We’d be delighted to do a performance at the Brighton Beach Senior Center.” That’s sweet and all, Eileen, but you probably shouldn’t burn out your cast doing performances for people who can’t even buy tickets to your show.
“Sounds stupid, but I thought maybe she was the one.” Sounds stupid because it is stupid, Brooklyn Jimmy. But just have yourself a good cry anyway.
“I’ve lost my sense of humor.” Yo, WHIP THESE GUYS INTO SHAPE, DEREK.
“You want his autograph? You want mine? I’m his mother.”
“Is he using again?” “MARIE.” The parents were cute for five seconds, but I’m done with them now.
Uh oh – Tom owns half of Gatsby. Shoulda thought about that one, Julia.
“If you were on Broadway, you’d get a fine.” Derek is 300% done.
“Record the show in its entirety for all we care.” And so am I. There are PLENTY of people/entities that do own the rights to this show, starting with the non-profit theater that is producing it and the writer/composers. What is this even.
A coked out Brooklyn Jimmy makes a very dramatic entrance.
“So you’re not working together anymore.”
“Don’t Let Me Know” is my favorite Hit List song by far. I’d pay good money to hear Queen Kelly sing it.
“You didn’t ask me to wait. I didn’t ask you to take care of me.”
I still don’t understand the Hit List plot. Is she a ghost at the end?
“What you just saw was Jimmy’s last performance.” Finally, Derek steps up to protect the show.
“Seemed a little culty. Like Hedwig or Rocky Horror.” And this is a bad thing?
“They think the show’s too dark for an uptown crowd.” They remember that Bombshell ends with Marilyn off-ing herself, right?
“To feel emotion onstage or off, is way too scary.” Or just too damn hard?
“But only one of them is in love with me, and it’s not the one that I wanted.” Wah wah wah, Brooklyn Jimmy just doesn’t get the love that he needs, ya’ll.
Ivy would rather marathon Season 2 of Girls than get involved in all this drama. I just love her so much, you guys.
“She’s probably on the other line getting a restraining order.”
Kyle goes out into the night to break it off with Brooklyn Jimmy. I have a feeling this won’t end well.
Eileen’s producing Hit List too. Why not?
KAREN AND DEREK
Editors Note: Serious lack of #SmashSlash material lately.
Is Kyle dead? “A Little Fall of Rain” won’t hurt him now.
That’s a wrap, folks. Things are getting uber-dramatic, huh? Kim is on Gif-Cap duty next week, so tune in with her to find out if Kyle makes it to the next episode, Brooklyn Jimmy goes into drug/asshole rehab, or Julia and Tom bury the hatchet.